I always try to avoid the impulse to write back to you, because I know you get a lot of both really smart people and a few crazies writing to you. But I’m almost always tempted to write back. (I grew up in the New York area during the ‘70s, and did college radio, so almost everything you write resonates with me.)

But my wife has been allergic to gluten for about 10 years so we always eat cauliflower pizza. We never liked Caulipower.

But we love Milton’s Meat Lovers pizza. It’s our favorite, but sometimes Costco has it and sometimes they don’t, so we only get it when Costco has it. (When they don’t have it, we buy the Costco version with pepperoni.)

I don’t have to eat GF but that Milton’s pizza is as good as any other frozen pizza, for me.

All the best,
Chris Hall

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hi bob, this is the best cauliflower pizza ive ever had, made in USA so far only available via costco CANADA (??) it hits the sauce/cheese/crust trifecta perfectly and take additional toppings like a champ. annoying that we can’t get it here in the states.

Sabatasso’s: https://shorturl.at/bV8dz

after multiple times eating it, it has an overall flavor that might suggest ‘schwans’ home delivery contract manufacturing, but i cannot verify.

source: me working multiple pizza jobs as a starving seattle musician in the 90’s and latent pizza snob in later years.

-Nial McGaughey
hovercraft amps

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I changed my diet drastically over the last 1 ½ years and became familiar with Milton’s Roasted Vegetable Pizza at Costco.  I “doctor” it up with Italian chicken sausage (cook it first!), sliced banana peppers (remove the seeds), sundried tomatoes and low-fat turkey pepperoni…once cooked I add fresh basil…its SPECTACULAR!

My Italian mother is rolling in her grave knowing that I eat Cauliflower crust pizza as well as gluten free pasta made with chick peas!

Steve Gerardi

Indianapolis

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Spence & Co is the best supermarket nova and I’ve tried em all, it’s sliced thin and oily the way it should be all the others are trash, Cauliflower pizza is actually addictive and I highly recommend getting it fresh as it is a whole other beast from freezer, I don’t like freezer Cauliflower it’s too cardboard like but fresh it is like an umami cracker, Blaze Pizza has a good one

Stay Healthy
Gregg Simon

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Two more to add to your potential list (and I know you have written posts about both stores in the somewhat recent past):

Kirkland (Costco)

365 (Whole Foods)

Both are excellent.

As far as taste issues go, my solution (which will not work for everyone) is to add generous streams of Frank’s Red Hot sauce, right as it comes out of the oven.

If you chat with your nutritionist about it, she or he will tell you to read the ingredients labels carefully.  For those who are trying to limit cholesterol, the 365 option is certainly healthier.  It is also gluten free, and while cauliflower is naturally free of gluten, it is not true that all cauliflower pizza crusts are in fact gluten free.

jimeddy

Ann Arbor, MI

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I buy the cauliflower crust and make my own pizza. Rao’s sauce. The key is the sauce 🙂

Jake Gold

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Go to Trader Joes and just get their cauli crust. Then you can top it with whatever you want and make sure that what you put on it is delicious. It’s much better than whatever you’ll get out of a box. Making a good tomato sauce that is worlds better than anything from a jar is pretty quick and easy, or some Rao’s will do the trick too, and general better and healthier than anything you’ll find in a box. Plus then you can experiment with different flavors like BBQ chicken, Buffalo chicken, or grab some masala simmer sauce while at TJs and do a curry version. The opportunities are endless.

Cheers.

Lauren Hennessy

________________________________________

Heck yeah for cauliflower pizza! Aldis has a great one in their refrigerated section. Take it home and 10 minutes it’s done. Cooked and ready to eat in 12!

Lynn Polke

________________________________________

The ones at Costco are the best I’ve found.  Have fun!

-Vadim

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Bob:  I try to avoid rice but it’s a necessary evil for Indian, Mexican, and Asian comfort food — so I use Parish Rice from Louisiana (https://parishrice.com/).  Low glycemic index (41 versus 70), and 50% more protein (5g protein per serving isn’t much but it’s something).  They sell it on Amazon in 2 and 5 lb. bags, but you can buy it direct from Parish in a 25 lb. bag with free shipping at $2 per pound.

 

Best,

Lee Huddleston

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We like Caulipower but we bought a Milton’s a while ago and it’s pretty good, better than Caulipower, but the first thing we noticed was that the picture has tons of toppings but the pizza itself had hardly any! I sent a message to the company and they sent us a bunch of coupons for free pizzas (!) and a big box of cauliflower crackers, various flavors. (Crackers not so good! )

Philip Rizzo

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Cauliflower pizza from Trader Joe’s is the best on the market- I’ve tried them all.

-Kyrié von Erffa

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We love Milton’s Cauliflower Pizza. Everyone in the family enjoys it, but especially my wife, who eats no carbs or sugar. And we buy it at Costco, where it’s $16 for two pies!

Mark Pokedoff, Warrington Pa.

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For my cardboard pizza I always  cut up an onion and put it on top. Adds a ton of flavor!

Tom Hedtke

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I was reading this thinking Caulipower meh. Then you told us you discovered Milton’s. IMO there is no better gluten free pizza out there. Maybe even the best frozen pizza period. Overcook it a bit so the crust is crispy.

We always have a two-pack of the veg one from Costco in the freezer ($13.99!!!). Add turkey pepperoni and grilled artichokes, and after it’s cooked, a few sprinkles of parmesan. Perfect when no one feels like cooking or leaving the house!

I’ll check out the lox! Thanks for that tip!

Ellie Shapiro

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I’ve tried a bunch of these, Bob. Here’s my favorite. It’s really good.

Open Nature:  https://shorturl.at/1Njgg

T. G. LaFredo

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Milton’s best frozen pizza available

Clean ingredients, good taste, scratches the itch

I keep it stocked

Brett Taylor

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We’ve been eating Milton’s cauliflower pizza for years, Costco carries it. We usually add the Kirkland artichoke hearts, extra parmigiana and for protein the Citterio prosciutto that Costco carries. A few items that you can pick up at the grocery store enhance the experience.

Wendy Morris

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We’ve been eating cauliflower pizza weekly lately, and, to be honest, I can’t really tell the difference between the different brands, but my  wife adds mushrooms, olives, cheese and truffle oil to complement the basic pie.  We added pico de gallo once to good effect.  I kid myself that it’s better for me than regular pizza, since I’m glucose intolerant, so it will be interesting to see what your doctor says about their nutritional value.

Stephen Hutchinson

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miltons just needs some extra love… personally I add frozen chopped spinach, nitrate free Applegate turkey pepperoni, some extra grated Parm and onions to the veggie pizza. For frozen pizza so good. Try it…

Craig Snider

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I’m getting the vibe that you aren’t a cook, but I can tell you that it’s not too hard to make an absolutely delicious cauliflower crust pizza from scratch. Far easier than making flour pizza dough.

The Western Slope City Markets do alright— they aren’t Gelson’s or Erewhon’s or even Wegman’s but they’re not terrible.

Beth Hardy McLennan

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Given your food habits (I can’t believe you don’t eat more during winter, skiing burns up a lot of calories) I would say don’t scrimp on what you buy. Pay for the best. When it comes to smoked salmon/lox, the best I’ve ever had is from Petrossian in NYC. It’s expensive at $150 for a pound and a half but if it’s a primary source of protein…you can’t feel guilty. Gorgeous.

As the late great comic Mitch Hedberg once observed: Rice is really great if you are super hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something. Thanks anyway. I get burritos without the rice, filler indeed.

Cauliflower pizza? I don’t eat cardboard, I’m fussy and want as close to Italian pizza as you can get in the US which only measures up to about a 5 on the Italian pizza scale. I’m not worried about health aspects as the Italians have enough blue zones to indicate that they are not dying prematurely en masse from a poor diet. The quality of their food is phenomenal. You want to avoid one thing? Processed food. That’s the number one killer. Eat, be happy, unless of course you aren’t a foodie.

John Brodey

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Costco offers a Kirkland cauliflower pizza that’s very good.

Cheers,

Eric Albino

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Milton’s is the best frozen cauliflower pizza I’ve tried. Their bread and crackers are good too if you are OK with a few carbs now and then. Trader Joe’s cauliflower pizza isn’t bad either. I’ll have to give the Caulipower a try if they have it at my local Albertsons.

Take care,

Brett Patrick

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Aldi smoked salmon was my go-to for a few years (and the price was right) but lately, I’ve been buying salmon filets (at Aldi) and making gravlax and it’s even better — and less expensive — than the other stuff.

You said you don’t cook so I’m not giving you the recipe but if you’re ever interested, hit me up. It’s pretty easy and really nice, especially for Sunday brunch on a bialy.

Richard Pachter

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And I have the urge to tell you…after learning I had a liver problem I started making changes to my diet. I ordered a gluten free pizza from Pizza Pie Eatery in Tarzana. it’s a cauliflower crust too. I have grown to prefer it!! Now, the crust is much thinner, more like a flat bread then your normal pizza dough crust. It also has a slight stickiness when you chew it but I have to tell you, it’s pretty delicious! This pizza place also has a superior marinara in my opinion. It has a spicy little kick to it where many can be uber bland. Anyway, highly recommend you try it if you ever find yourself in the west valley. The only bummer is you can only get a medium one. No large!

My other new favorite is Mary’s Crackers, the everything flavor. They’re gluten free. Try them with some hummus. Really good.

Normally not a fan of gluten free stuff so I’m always on the lookout for standouts.

Cheers,

Anita Zaccaro

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A truly awesome pizza crust is chick peas. The texture is awesome and it gets crispy when baked. I would love to make my own but if you just buy chick pea crusts you can pile on your own favorite stuff and it tastes fresher, at least for home made.

Robert Falgiano

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Hi Bob! Long time listener first time caller ?

Can’t say I expected a gluten free pizza review in the Lefsetz Letter but would love to send mine your way to try!

Four Cheese Pizza

The crust is made from chickpeas, a good source of protein and fiber.

No pressure either way. Appreciate your writing, frequently gives me a good laugh.

Brian Rudolph

Banza

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Now you’re getting into something that’s really important Bob! Politics and Muso biz wisdom aside, this is serious talk. I’m a foodie and a cook around the house and also trying to eat more healthy as I became a senior.

The wheat our grandparents used to eat is not the GMO wheat the FDA is cramming down our throats during the last half century. I am not allergic to gluten in wheat but it does give me acid reflux, fatigue, gas, and a bad breath from the sugar content inside gluten. I just feel better when I eat gluten-free products.

Califlower crust pizza dough is one of those so this has become a passion for me as a cook.

Yes good old New York thin crust pizza tastes the best because of the upstate water and maybe even the non-GMO Italian grade AA flour some pizzerias import. The gluten makes that delicious cracker crust that holds together so well and is crunchy on the palette. This is the standard of perfect pizza pie. When I’m in NYC every year I eat this gluten-laden delight because it is so perfect.

But every other pizza made west of the Mississippi sucks in my opinion. (the exception is Mozza on Melrose who imported all their ingredients including the NYC water}

So I started making califlower crust pizza out here in CA.

I make them for our band rehearsals and the band loves the way I prepare them. They are no longer skeptics and always ask when I schedule a rehearsal, “are you going to make that great pizza again?!” So I know it’s working.

I use a premade frozen cauliflower crust pizza shell made by a company called Oggi that’s just perfect. Just the right blend of cauliflower, rice, amaranth, and potato flours. The trick is to pre-bake the shell to dry out the crust a little. Gluten free dough is a different consistency as you have stated here in your letter. It has to be baked a little longer to get that slightly burnt, crunchy crust.

Then remove the pre baked crust from the oven and slather it with your favorite pizza sauce, pasta sauce/paste, or pesto and assemble your favorite toppings. I’ve even steered away (pun intended) from using cow cheese these days and using Spanish sheep Manchengo cheese as I am cow milk intolerant. It melts great and everyone seems to love it.

But if done correctly, gluten-free crust pizza can still be a delicious comfort food that rivals NYC-style pie.

Kenny Lee Lewis

Steve Miller Band

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For whatever reason, every time I read the word “caulipower”, I laughed.

especially now that I realize you had to correct autocorrect each time.

XO

Jimmy Kimmel

Dave Dederer was the guitarist in the Presidents of the United States of America. It’s the thirtieth anniversary of their major label debut. Hear the story of how an indie band made its own record, got signed by a major, had huge hits and then broke up.

 

Apple:

 

 

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9ff4fb19-54d4-41ae-ae7a-8a6f8d3dafa8/episodes/760575d0-acc4-4b6f-855d-ecfe55d12d66/the-bob-lefsetz-podcast-dave-dederer

It’s one thing to hate the libs, quite another to put one’s head in the sand and deny reality.

Just like it’s one thing to hate the elites, but quite another to demonize education.

I stopped writing about politics because everybody got the message, everybody became aware of Trump’s actions. However, I am troubled that his flood the zone strategy is causing people to tune out. Furthermore, the flip-flopping on tariffs makes one step aside and say they’ll wait until the dust settles, allowing Trump to take further actions they are unaware of.

I blame the internet. Not smartphones. Not social media per se. But the internet in general. The internet broadened society. The Republicans seem to know this, but the Democrats do not. The Democrats keep believing in a pyramid, a top-down society that was blown apart decades ago. No one is in charge. No one respects someone further up the totem pole. And no one gets their information from the same sources as you do. Facts may be fungible, but we’ve got more than Trump to blame. Like I said, it’s the internet.

It’s right there for you to see, but too many refuse to. They worry about who is in the White House press room, decry the expulsion of the AP and the inclusion of heretofore unknown right wing outlets, but…

They refuse to acknowledge, never mind understand, that vast swaths of the public get their information from said “unknown” right wing news outlets. They’re only the tip of the iceberg. There are many more you’ve never heard of, and people take them as gospel. It’s the infrastructure more than the message that should worry those who believe in facts and truth. These systems have been established over years while the Democrats were completely asleep, believing in big time media. Joe Rogan? Yes, the Democrats missed out on the power of podcasts, but even more the power of information online. They believe in a single truth that spreads, nothing could be further from the truth.

Furthermore, Trump harnessed the power of social media, jumping on Twitter long before Elon Musk bought it, and spoke like the man on the street as opposed to some hoity-toity elite. We’re experiencing this right now with Joe Biden’s cancer diagnosis. We’re supposed to stand aside and not talk about his refusal to step down and the new book that delineates his decline and its cover-up. Have you ever been online? Tell me one time the public stood aside for the good of…ANYTHING! The Democrats and those public intellectuals who lord over them are living in the fifties, but that was more than half a century ago.

But time marches on, as does the world. And the United States is falling behind, so far behind it may never catch up.

Did you read that BYD just outsold Tesla in Europe? Now because of tariffs you won’t see a BYD car in the U.S. But not only is it not the only electric car made in China, in many ways it’s more advanced than a Tesla, than any car designed in Detroit, and Chinese electric car bodies are updated in a year or two, unlike Tesla, which is utilizing essentially the same design.

So GM lobbied for the elimination of California clean air rules, the need to go all electric in a matter of decades. And their message won, Congress just struck down said rules. The only problem is the rest of the world is going electric at an alarmingly fast clip. As a matter of fact, BMW and other European car companies did not want high tariffs on Chinese cars because not only do they sell automobiles in China, they have to compete with these companies. Expect the Detroit auto companies to falter and be consumed by international conglomerates. Happens to all tech companies who don’t keep up with the future, who don’t push the envelope, they wither and die and are sold for scrap.

And then there’s DOGE and the destruction of our weather forecasting.

But forget the dismantling of our national infrastructure and compare us to the rest of the world, which is moving on while we’re doing our best to go back to the past, primarily so those in control can own the libs.

Germany and other European nations have switched almost completely to electric power. And in truth, the U.S. is moving in that direction. But all we hear about is the propping up of coal. (Which is akin to the propping up of vinyl, which is a nostalgic fetish… Cutting vinyl for a digital recording is like taking the power steering and brakes out of a fuel-injected automobile.) Sure, the past may have been better in certain ways, but we are moving forward, we’re never getting rid of the internet and…

We can debate all day if colleges are pro-Palestinian indoctrination camps, but the money given by the federal government supports scientific and medical breakthroughs. And now there’s a brain drain, with these experts going overseas.

Not that many are realizing this, not yet.

Look at Brexit. Nationalistic nincompoops voting to exit from the European Union. In the almost ten year wake of that vote Brits overwhelmingly reject it, they feel it was a mistake. Britain has lost its bargaining power, has been hurt economically and immigration has not slowed. Ignorant people were made to hate the Europeans and the immigrants and the joke was ultimately on them. Hell, right after Brexit jobs could not be filled because they were done by immigrants, just like the cooks at Kid Rock’s restaurant. It’s one thing to believe in theory, it’s quite another to see the results in practice.

Somehow the Luddites have taken control. And convinced many that the old days were better. And sure, I lament the loss of some stuff from the past, but it’s never coming back. Best to jump into the fire of the future and present. You can turn off your smartphone, but believe me, almost no one else is. Only baby boomers who believe they know better who end up ignorant.

We live in an information economy and he or she who knows the most wins.

Unfortunately, much of the information is inaccurate, and there’s no way to police it.

Ignorant people love to pontificate and falsehood becomes truth.

Trump has the government say Covid started in a lab when every day more science is revealed that undercuts that theory. Don’t believe me? Read this:

“Genetic Study Retraces the Origins of Coronaviruses in Bats – As China and the United States trade charges of a lab leak, researchers contend in a new paper that the Covid pandemic got its start, like a previous one, in the wildlife trade.”

Free link: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/07/science/covid-coronavirus-bats-genetics.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE8.2euS.qNRRqrwH36ms&smid=url-share

Oh, it can’t be true, it’s in the NEW YORK TIMES! And not only the right that decries the paper of record, but so do many on the left. Because emotion has replaced truth. Because it’s all about pissing on the big guy. But sometimes the big guy has it right.

It’s not only soft power we are losing, but raw power. Even in Iggy’s world of entertainment. Chinese movies outgross those from America on the mainland today, which was unheard of in the past. And the story in the music business is about local repertoire, America and England don’t dominate anymore. And if you think the argument is about Spotify payments, you’re missing the point. And don’t know that a lot of acts around the world you’ve never heard of are making bank. In addition, one reason Spotify dominates streaming is because it keeps opening in foreign territories and innovating, whereas its competitors are asleep and follow in Spotify’s footsteps at best. And your hankering for the old days isn’t going to change this, never ever.

But a lot of what I write above doesn’t reach the public at large, because everybody is in their silo reading stuff that aligns with their already established beliefs or tribe. Everybody has stuck their head in the ground and in many cases denied reality.

mRNA vaccines have been studied for years and are safe. And you  may believe your body is inviolate but measles neither knows that nor cares.

It’s like America has turned into a sport, with two teams competing for the trophy of control and the truth be damned. The right obfuscates, but so does the left. Biden? All I keep hearing is we’ve got to forget about Joe and look to Trump and the future. The same people saying this are the educated who studied history in school. What’s the cliché, you’ve got to study history to avoid repeating it?

So this is a 50,000 foot view. On some level the specifics are irrelevant. It’s that we’re putting up barriers and denying truth, happily living in ignorance as the world evolves. You can’t beat global warming by ignoring it. But that seems to be the government’s strategy, scrubbing it from the books.

So just consider this a heads-up. You may think you know what is going on, but unless you delve into the world, the head of others, you truly don’t. Most Democrats hate Trump voters so much that they refuse to enter their brains and analyze their thoughts and reasoning. Which in some cases is false, but why is it false? Why do they believe untrue information?

You’re best off reading mainstream news (and not TV, which does almost no reporting) than blogs and listening to biased podcasts, but this doesn’t align with people’s feelings. They want to feel powerful, in control, and they do this by excoriating institutions and coming up with their own beliefs, however cockamamie they might be. The anti-vax movement took hold first with the educated left and then spread to the right. These people were sick of being dictated to, they were angry with doctors and science, and they came up with their own beliefs. They feel bedside manner is more important than skill. I mean how many times do you see the surgeon anyway?

But everybody in America is right. And they’ve got many sites and tribe members to confirm it. This denial of truth knows no bonds. And it’s ensuring that America becomes a second class society. You don’t win by excising yourself from the game, but by competing. And to compete you need to study your competitors. Sports teams just don’t declare opponents bad, they send scouts, they look at the data. But in regular life everybody cocoons and believes they know better.

Forget that elected officials are bought and sold and out for themselves, never mind weak on both sides of the political fence.

It’s a hunt for truth, a full time job, and it’s your responsibility as a citizen. Not only for yourself, but society at large.

But the past is more comfortable. It’s easier to blame an enemy. When in truth it’s your own damn fault.

Rust never sleeps, even though you might.

STAY AWAKE!

I’m new to this.

I was wandering City Market in Vail looking for cookable items. My daily diet consists of coffee yogurt with blueberries and roasted walnuts, and some kind of protein and vegetable at night. As far as how many meals during the day? I’ve never eaten three. Seems like too much food to me. Then again, my mother never ever made breakfast for us, she was in bed until 10 AM every day. I didn’t think twice, even though it came up in school all the time… They seemed to believe I’d do better if I had a full tummy. True? I don’t know.

And now the research keeps flip-flopping. Breakfast good, breakfast unnecessary, only eat when you’re hungry. But I have to take some pills in the morning and food makes the medicine go down easier, so it doesn’t burn up my esophagus and stomach.

As for pills… The anti group… My doctor has the exact opposite philosophy. I know, I know, you feel healthier when you take no pills. But the pills help. And too many people don’t have health care good enough to give advance warning before consequences. Kind of like Biden and his PSA… If you do what the government tells you… No, scratch that, that’s got the wrong connotation. When you hear that prostate tests and mammograms can be spread out or stopped…don’t buy it, I mean do you want to gamble with your health?

Now in Vail I also eat New York Style Nova lox in the morning, for an added jolt of protein, I never stop for lunch, why waste the time, if I get hungry I chow down on an energy bar, and I’m loath to let you in on my secret, but for grocery store smoked salmon, this stuff is the sh*t:

Spence & Co., Nova Lox, NY Style: https://shorturl.at/ZS0OM

That link is to Amazon, but it provides a picture so you can purchase the product at your market of choice, assuming they have it. I’ve found most markets do not. But City Market does. And I’ll buy six at a time. Because inventory control…

There’s this Oui Mocha & Chocolate French style yogurt that’s delish! But good luck finding a market that sells it. When I see it at City Market I buy all they’ve got, sometimes fourteen or fifteen jars! Because oftentimes they’re out. They’re also often out of Chobani Coffee, which replaced the much better Coffee & Cream, and the third coffee yogurt of my triumvirate… I’m not going to tell you what it is, inventory is incredibly spotty, and I too buy all I see when it’s available.

And City Market in Vail is gigantic. They slice Boar’s Head meat, albeit at a glacial pace. And they’ve got my Vitamin Water Zero. And they’ve also got aisle after aisle of frozen products I should not eat.

But being unable to cook and looking for variety, one day I did a deep dive.

All the Indian stuff comes with rice, which my nutritionist calls a “filler food.” If you’re insulin resistant, and I am, and you might be without knowing it…if you eat pasta and then get tired, you are…you shouldn’t be eating any rice. Nor most breads and that includes pizza.

Now in Italy pasta sales are going down for the negative health reasons, even though we all adore it. It’s kind of like how the younger generation in America doesn’t drink. These are trends.

As for the keto-trend, even Gwyneth Paltrow gave up on that, you probably saw that. As for the protein craze… My nutritionist says a man needs fifteen to twenty grams per meal and a woman ten to fifteen. If you see someone ordering a salad for dinner, laugh at them. Sans chicken or salmon or some other kind of protein atop it they’re going to be starving soon. Protein salves the hunger. Fat makes the food taste good. There’s more underneath all this, but those are the basic rules.

Oh, just one more thing. Don’t eat anything within three hours of going to bed.

All this science I know from my nutritionist, I never paid attention in school, you may know the basics, but you’d be stunned how many don’t. I see these people whose parents died of heart attacks eating KFC and french fries and no vegetables and even smoking. Sure, some people get away with this, but the odds are against you.

Now Green Giant has made big strides in the frozen vegetable vertical, you’ve got to try out their “Restaurant Style” stuff:

https://greengiant.com/products/restaurant-style-sides/

Sure, fresh is always better, but it’s good to have a couple of these in the fridge.

So, I tried some frozen Chinese stuff. Almost all come with noodles or rice and very little protein, so I gave up on that.

But one day in City Market I came across Caulipower pizza.

https://eatcaulipower.com/en/products/cauliflower-pizza/

In truth, it kind of tastes like cardboard, but it’s easy to cook and it’s not the bread of the usual frozen pizza and I checked out all the models and you want the ones with protein on top. Not only for the nutrients, but because without them these pizzas taste even worse.

And if you’re hungry after a day of skiing you’re oftentimes bolting down the food anyway, so less than great taste is not crucial, but I bought a couple of Caulipowers after coming back from the mountains and…

The taste is just too bland.

But I like having one in the freezer, for when I’m in a pinch. You heat the oven (or large toaster oven) to 425 and then the pizza bakes in 14-16 minutes and the amazing thing about cauliflower pizza is it cools down much faster than the regular stuff, so you can eat it earlier and not burn the roof of your mouth.

And just the other day we were ordering from Instacart and I thought about Caulipower and started to wonder, does the company have any competitors?

And that’s why I’m writing this.

They offered Milton’s. A terrible name compared to Caulipower. And the graphics on the box are nowhere near as good. But Google is your friend and doing some research I found out that Milton’s was on a par with Caulipower so I ordered one. The Meat Lover’s Trio. For the protein, if not the taste.

And I tend to eat lunch late, to the point where it’s actually dinner. I don’t like to take the time to stop. And today I saw the Caulipower box in the freezer along with the Milton’s and I decided what the hell, let me try the Milton’s.

Now I had a hankering for Caulipower. Never ignore your inner tuning fork. Yes, I know Caulipower mostly tastes like cardboard, but it was titillating my taste buds, conceptually anyway. But variety is the spice of life so I heated the toaster oven (the pizza just fits and it warms up much more quickly) for the Milton’s.

Now I’ve learned that the toaster oven also cooks more quickly than your regular oven. So you want to remove the ‘za at the low end of the time spectrum, in this case 13-15 minutes.

And I was hungry and looked through the glass door of the toaster oven at exactly thirteen minutes and the damn pizza looked BURNED!

So now I wasn’t having Caulipower and the pizza was at the limit of golden brown and I sliced and took a bite and…

It was immediately clear that the consistency was different. The Milton’s is more like a cracker. I was getting a bad vibe, but I put the food in my mouth and…

It was definitely different from Caulipower.

And then I’m continuing to eat the Milton’s and it gets better with every bite.

Now let me be clear, it’s not as good as regular pizza, and frozen pizza is inherently substandard compared to cooked to order, but the Milton’s actually tasted pretty good. The pepperoni wasn’t bad, the sausage not great, but both were a bit better than Caulipower. It’s about the crust not the toppings, and since pizza is mostly crust, in this case cauliflower, that’s good!

Now in truth I haven’t run these cauliflower pizzas by my nutritionist yet. They’re probably not that great for you. But they’re definitely better for you than the conventional DiGiorno and Tombstone. And I have a sinking feeling my nutritionist is going to nix them, but…

If you’re in the market for cauliflower pizza…

Well, let me just say I’m at the beginning of my research, I’m sure there are experts with knowledge that far exceeds mine and I even know people who make their own, kudos, but the Milton’s was actually filling and fulfilling, satisfying, and I had an urge to tell you.

Meat Lover's Trio Cauliflower Crust Pizza