THE LATECOMER

https://amzn.to/3u1Id02

This book is so good…

That I don’t want to tell you a single thing about it.

Now it’s fiction. So for those looking for instructions, the tome of a billionaire, this is not where you want to go. And if you’re looking for mystery, or macho, this is not a genre book. What it is is a story of a family, over generations. But it’s different from those heavy, multi-decade slogs. There are twists and turns, unexpected things happen. But mostly, you can relate, if not to individual characters, then the humanity.

“The Latecomer” is not highbrow, but it’s not lowbrow either.

It’s not short, it’s long enough for you to marinate and luxuriate in.

This is what you’re looking for in a reading experience, at least I am. Something that calls out to you, that you can’t wait to get back to, that is better than almost everything else happening in your everyday life.

It’s an adventure, it’s a journey.

You’ll be hooked right way…

Or you won’t.

I was surprised I got into it from the very first page. For a minute there, about two-thirds through, I thought it was going to disappoint me, but then it got back up to speed and… I wish there were more books like this.

CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH

https://bit.ly/3buXsIv

This is the Sundance hit that was purchased by Apple for $15 million.

If you don’t have an Apple TV+ account already I do not recommend signing up just for this. But if you do…

Do you like Duplass Brothers movies?

It started a while back with Mumblecore. Greta Gerwig crossed over from that genre. These are films about people, situations, they aren’t made to be blockbusters and they aren’t. But they resonate the way most big screen product does not.

So what we’ve got here is an auteur… Cooper Raiff. Who wrote, directed and stars in the film. Unfortunately, he’s the worst actor in it, he’s pretty good, but sometimes when he leans his head sideways and smiles…well, let’s just say that he does that too much.

As for the rest of the cast…

Dakota Johnson is a phenomenal actress. I know she’s Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson’s daughter. But I never saw her in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” I haven’t seen almost all of her filmography. But she caught my eye in “The Lost Daughter,” she stood out in a cast of much better known actors. I did research after watching this flick and it turns out she’s Chris Martin’s girlfriend of a couple of years, and she was even a model, and she certainly is good-looking, but that’s not what seals the deal. It’s in her eyes, her smile, the way she looks directly at you, the way she inhabits the character, the way she’s alive. She seems like a girl you went to high school with. Who was not the icon, the good-looking prom queen, but somebody you had classes with, who was approachable, who you knew, who you didn’t get anxious hanging around.

So what we’ve got here is twenty two year old Andrew, who has just graduated from college and is clueless about where he’s going thereafter. He’s got a Tulane girlfriend who’s gone to Barcelona and he dreams of going to visit her there, but…

In the meantime he’s got a minimum wage job and he’s living with his mother and her new husband and his thirteen year old brother. Everybody considers him a loser. And he’s not so sure himself.

You’re supposed to be a world-beater. What happened to him?

His mother has compromised, married someone for security, played by Brad Garrett, who has aged and is better in this than in any other production I’ve ever seen him in. He’s not playing broadly for laughs, like in “Everybody Loves Raymond,” he’s inhabiting the role of a middle-aged person with his nose to the grindstone, who is convinced he knows how life works.

And then there’s the brother, David…

He wants to kiss a girl. This is so well done, he and Margaret have a relationship, which consists of dancing at Bar Mitzvah parties yet not talking. How does he bridge the gap? I remember this anxiety, and in truth I can’t remember my first kiss, but what do you do, how do you do it? Just jump in, ask for permission, or wait for them to speak up, express their desire, the hurdle seems insurmountable.

And Andrew ends up as a party starter at Bar & Bat Mitzvah parties. You know, the one with the toys, who gets everybody up on the dance floor to have a good time.

And there he meets Domino.

Terrible choice of name. That’s Dakota Johnson’s character. She’s a middle class New Jersey denizen, they have conventional names, the ones everybody else does, not monikers that connote a stripper as opposed to a housewife.

And… Andrew becomes fixated on Domino.

This is all in the hype, and it’s obvious, but…

There are so many real elements. 

Ever have a crush on someone older? And wonder if it’s real? And then freak out when you read the signals, when you’re delivered all your hopes and dreams?

This is what it’s like growing up as a man.

Not the kind you see in hip-hop videos.

As a matter of fact, I don’t see myself in any of today’s music or films. Everybody’s either macho, unable to express their inner feelings, or they’re tech nerds with glasses. But a regular guy, not cool, but not an outsider, who has feelings, and is unsure of themselves… That describes most men in America, which is why this film is such a revelation, it nails this!

Come on guys, you can describe every interaction with a woman you’ve ever had. You didn’t go on hundreds of dates, you didn’t score with hundreds of women. But there were a few where it seemed there was mutuality, you felt something between the two of you, and that feels so good, you never forget it.

You might even think back and wonder if you’d played your cards differently…

Or maybe if you hooked up with them today…

But those are fairy tales. People are not static, they evolve. And the reason it didn’t work out in the first place is usually the reason why it wouldn’t work now. But in your mind, you savor these moments, when you think about them you feel complete, equal to any other man on the planet. Yes, that woman you desired desired you, was into you! That’s better than any car, any watch, any physical object.

And this movie gets that across.

You’ll laugh out loud. At least I did.

But it’s not a complete comedy, there are serious elements.

It’s not a Judd Apatow film, even though his wife, Leslie Mann, is in it. Apatow’s films are comedies with a splash of heaviness thrown in, to make the point. Whereas as light as “Cha Cha Real Smooth” can be, there are moments of reality sprinkled throughout, this is not complete fantasy, you can see yourself, or someone like you, in the film.

In other words, this is a Duplass Brothers movie. In style. You may not have seen their films, but you might have seen their series on HBO, “Togetherness,” starring Melanie Lynskey, Amanda Peet and Mark Duplass himself. That got canceled. What did Jack Nicholson say, “you can’t handle the truth”?

But some people are only looking for the truth. And there is truth in “Cha Cha Real Smooth.” It’s imperfect, but I’d rather watch stuff like this than “Star Wars” spinoffs and Marvel movies any day of the week. As a matter of fact, I don’t even bother with those productions, I don’t want mindless escape, I want to feel like I’m part of the world, that I’m not alone, the only one thinking what I do.

Maybe you feel the same way too.

They’re gonna take away your guns!

They’re gonna turn your kids into homosexuals, even worse they might end up being trans!

These are the tropes the right runs on again and again. Tiny issues, usually social issues, that they blow up to obscure the real issues, which are often to the detriment of their constituents, to win elections. AND IT WORKS!

I was having dinner with John Glenn… You remember, he was a senator in addition to being an astronaut. And, he was from Ohio. Which used to be blue. And he’s telling me how the right weaponized social issues to win. But he was already out of office, approaching ninety… Everybody knows the truth, but no one wants to say it on the left.

IT’S ABOUT THE SUPREME COURT!

If you’re educated, you’ve been repeating this mantra this entire century. Has there been any traction? OF COURSE NOT! Because the Democratic party and its minions have consultants lost in the last century telling them you can’t win by going negative. They adhere to all these rules that no longer apply. And if you want to challenge the orthodoxy, they shut you up. Like AOC… They want to undercut her instead of following her. I mean do these oldsters in Congress have any idea what the younger generation thinks? If they do have kids, in most cases they’re already out of school.

As for polls…

Let me see, ever since 2016 they’ve been wrong. So why trot them out now?

All these numbers dictating that Republicans won’t change their opinions as a result of the 1/6 hearings… Am I really even going to tell someone if I have doubts? I mean come on, don’t trust the polls. And let’s not even get into methodology, who agrees to respond, etc.

So, the Democrats could have made the Supreme Court the issue.

They could have said, over and over again, THEY’RE GOING TO GET RID OF YOUR RIGHT TO GET AN ABORTION! They could have scared the populace into voting for Hillary, which would have eliminated this entire problem. But no! Hillary herself was so focus-grouped she lost touch with her inner feelings. Once you lose touch with your inner tuning fork, you’re screwed, it’s your core beliefs that guide you.

And let’s be clear, even a huge proportion of Republicans don’t want abortion rights to be eliminated. They’re past the age of procreation, or they never have sex, or… But the right keeps paying fealty to the religious zealots who represent ever fewer members of the voting constituency. What do we call this? THE TYRANNY OF THE MINORITY!

So the New York gun decision comes down.

The first thing that I think about is if it weren’t for McConnell, the decision would have gone the other way. Yes, Merrick Garland would be a Supreme Court justice and there wouldn’t be enough time to replace Ruth Bader Ginsberg, whose legacy needs to be re-evaluated… How come on the right you must take one for the team, but Ginsburg kept her job even though she knew she had cancer? Talk about being self-serving. Ultimately narcissistic.

And now this issue eliminating Roe v. Wade.

On every news site they say this is not the will of the people, most people want abortion rights maintained.

But there are articles saying most people use the pill now anyway (that’s the abortion pill, not the contraceptive pill, which they want to get rid of).

Yes, the water is boiling in the pot but unlike lobsters human beings are sentient and they still won’t jump out. They’re still making excuses. I mean what’s end game? An authoritarian state? How do we end up standing up to that? As for street combat, it’s the right that has all the guns.

And speaking of killing… After this week’s 1/6 hearings you know it’s only a matter of time. Supreme Court justices need protection? Now even POLL WORKERS need protection! Ever vote? You’ve encountered these people. Usually somnambulant, living life in 3/4 time. Eating their doughnuts, providing a public service. If you think they’re the enemy, that they’re conspiring to overthrow elections, you’ve never voted.

And speaking of truth. We had to endure national analysis that the Democrats were even in trouble in California! Which turned out to be complete hogwash. We don’t want no stinking billionaire running Los Angeles, and now that the entire vote has trickled in, Bass is killing Caruso. As for all this anti-California backlash, the Golden State looks really good if you want, or even NEED an abortion. What if California acted like the red states. You can’t get an abortion unless you show a California driver’s license. Imagine the uproar!

That’s what the right specializes in, uproar.

The left? We take our lumps individually. We retreat with our tails between our legs. The solution is always the same… VOTE! Give me an f-ing break. As a result of the liar in chief spreading the falsehood that the election was stolen, all these draconian voting laws have been passed, making it harder for “those people” to vote. Why is it you don’t have to wait to vote in rich white neighborhoods, but you have to stand in line in Black neighborhoods for hours. Do you think this is by accident? WAKE UP!

And it’s all because of the Supreme Court. We don’t need no stinking voting laws to keep the southern states in check. Yes, the mantra of the people on Fox News is that we live in a post-racial society. Truly. They talk about equality, a bunch of other B.S., how it insults the dignity of people of color, and then their minions go to Charlottesville… That’s one thing that has become absolutely clear, there’s a plethora of white nationalists in the Republican party, i.e. there are good people on both sides.

So you ask me to have faith in the Supreme Court??

And the Supremes aren’t the only ones. Trump rammed through a million right wing judges, some with no courtroom experience whatsoever! So you think you’ll be saved by the courts? Good luck!

I lost faith in Congress first.

Now the Supreme Court.

Who do I believe in. John Lennon? Oh, that’s right, he’s DEAD! SHOT WITH A GUN!

Don’t tell me to vote. I mean I will, but that’s not going to solve our problems, we need action.

Like a national strike. It’s very clear here, you need to hit the corporations, they can’t handle, can’t afford to sit on the sidelines. They want problems solved NOW!

And the people who work for these companies… They care more about their paychecks than they do abortion rights, believe me.

But no, that’s too much, too far. We’ve got to respect the rule of law. Just like… TRUMP?

I literally cried when I saw the decision on my phone. Which I did not expect whatsoever. I mean I already knew the outcome, but to see it in broad headlines on my phone. It was like one of those bizarre movies playing out an alternative history, but this time it’s REAL!

As for all those people claiming America’s the greatest country in the world… Even Boris Johnson was scratching his head at this decision. I mean you can get an abortion in Catholic Ireland but not in the U.S!

And this isn’t the end, just the beginning.

And do you know what is going to happen folks… NOTHING!!!

That’s right, absolutely nothing. We’ve seen it again and again. Maybe there are a few protests, to show solidarity, but in the twenty first century protests have no effect, everything happens online. But when it comes to online boycotts, sacrificing convenience, it’s been proven again and again that people will not give up a single thing. They’ll still shop at Amazon and…

We don’t even have any leaders on the left. Forget Biden, a twentieth century man in the twenty first century. But our leaders, like Schumer and Pelosi. They keep saying how bad it is but their hands are tied. Yup, that’s the way to inspire people, RIGHT!

I mean the left has so many tools in its belt, so many bullets in its arsenal. Killer Mike? Articulate Black rapper? Build that guy up, give him as much screen time and ink as you can. Everyone can see that he believes what he’s saying, and he has a sense of humor to boot. I’m not saying to run celebrities, but to use them to get results. The right keeps saying the left owns Hollywood, and Hollywood keeps blinking. Own it, double-down on what’s right! You can’t appeal to everybody anyway.

Pick out one target a week. All these Congresspeople are rich. Boycott the company, the income of one Republican every month. Oh, they’ll kick and scream. How does it feel? EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS FOR US RIGHT NOW!

But we don’t kick and scream, we accept it. We rationalize.

So what we end up with is the tyranny of the minority.

You’d think that the Constitution was written last week according to these originalist judges and Republican elected officials. No, it was written by human beings 250 years ago, people who’d be flummoxed by a dial telephone, never mind an iPhone.

We keep correcting the past. The slaveholders, the Confederates. Yes, we’ll take down their statue, change the name of the building, but that’s only window dressing, that’s not real change. Meanwhile, those on the right say that people have never changed. That the Constitution is inviolate. Do you think the framers foresaw a day when North Dakota would have two senators and California would have the same number? OF COURSE NOT!

As for amendments… The way we’re going the Supreme Court is going to eviscerate those rights as opposed to having new ones enacted.

You not only have to fight for your right to party, you’ve got to fight for Democracy too.

As for the brainwashed rank and file on the right, they’ll be the first ones to say they didn’t understand what was at stake when they become oppressed too.

Once you start taking away the rights of people, it’s a slippery slope, where do you start?

As for truth… These stinking Supremes lied in Congress saying Roe v. Wade was inviolate.

It’s like America is run by drug kingpins, or the Mafia. What they say goes, and what they want happens. And if you go against them…you pay, oftentimes with your life. Yes, try getting an abortion for medical reasons, conditions that will kill the mother. Ain’t gonna happen. That’s what happens when you live in an absolutist society.

And let’s not bother talking about freedom. The right only employs the concept when it benefits them, they’re hypocrites. Why should you care what I’m doing, why should you restrict my behavior when it doesn’t affect you?

Never mind the insane ruling on Maine schools. Separation of church and state? The Supremes don’t even believe that, they want to overrule it, demonstrating their belief in following the letter of the law, the Constitution, and the intent of its creators…they’re just outright lying. The Constitution talks about separation of church and state. If a state is giving money to a religious-based organization, where is the separation? IT DOESN’T EXIST!

Yeah, you’re on my side. We’re all in this together. And we all do nothing. Because the Democratic party has abdicated, it’s got no leaders. It refuses to wake up and see the situation we’re in as our rights and powers slowly slip away, and now even more quickly.

If you’re optimistic you’re delusional.

Unless we take action, we’re doomed.

And that action is not protesting, and it’s not even voting. Like I said, let’s start with a national strike. Or limited strikes. Show our power. It ain’t that hard not to go to work one day. You say you’re sick, is the company really going to show up at your door and check? And when a plethora takes action, the company is impotent, and usually caves.

And how about packing the damn Supreme Court right now. Yes, introduce a bill. I don’t care whether it ultimately passes or not, play like it’s going to. You stand up to bullies. You don’t reason with them, you don’t accept what they say, because the field for you to play on gets smaller and smaller.

You publish names of Congresspeople who believe the election was stolen from him. The right hammers those on the left by name every day. You’d think that George Soros is the shadow president. The left? Well, it’s unseemly, distasteful, and we might piss somebody off.

OF COURSE WE’LL PISS PEOPLE OFF! But there are more of us than there are of them.

We’ve got to throw the long ball.

This game is down to its final minutes. We’re way behind. There’s not enough time to stick with the ground game. You don’t always connect on the eighty yard pass, but there’s a chance you do. Whereas if there’s thirty seconds on the clock and you’ve scored almost no points against a strong defensive line to run the ball ensures defeat, you just can’t win using that strategy. Oh, you can be delusional, like the Democratic party, but everybody knows it’s impossible.

Give me some hope. Tell me what to do. Lead me. PLEASE!

Pat Simmons is the only person who has been in every iteration of the Doobie Brothers. We talk about motorcycles, playing live before the Doobies, hooking up with Tom Johnston, New Orleans…there’s a lot of history here!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pat-simmons/id1316200737?i=1000567480427

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9ff4fb19-54d4-41ae-ae7a-8a6f8d3dafa8/episodes/40a1199f-b245-4b23-bb7d-c1d7d3c60e87/the-bob-lefsetz-podcast-pat-simmons

https://www.stitcher.com/show/the-bob-lefsetz-podcast/episode/pat-simmons-204310657

ERIC CHURCH

6/11/22

U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, MN

Capacity: 51,117 

100% sold

Tickets: $54.50-$455

GROSS $9,519,167

This is the biggest show in the chart, number one, above three Paul McCartney dates. Why? MORGAN WALLEN! In order to do that business in rock, you’d have to have two classic acts, or acts that made their bones over twenty years ago.

As for McCartney, he played smaller buildings. He too went clean. But the top and lower prices were actually a few dollar less than Church’s. This is not a diss of McCartney, this just illustrates how powerful country can be. Eric Church has been building his outsider status for over a decade, and he’s definitely selling rock. And Morgan Wallen has the biggest album of 

the past two years…

PAUL McCARTNEY

6/4/22

Camping World Stadium, Orlando, FL

Capacity: 42,662 

100% sold

Tickets: $539.50-$428.50

GROSS $8,848,665

CAMPING WORLD STADIUM? This has turned into a joke, no building maintains the same moniker, ultimately undercutting what credibility, status they’ve got. Sure, people will go anywhere to see a hot show, but that does not mean they’ll feel good about the building. Everything in America is sold out. The money may not have trickled down, but the philosophy sure has. People put the money first, as do the acts. And that means you can’t trust or believe in either. As for naming rights…how long is Staples gonna be Crypto.com? I’m sure there are all kinds of guarantees in the contract, but if the company goes out of business…

As for Mr. McCartney… People are now realizing that you’ve got to see the dinosaurs now, or they may forever be gone. That’s the Charlie Watts effect. All the hosannas about Taylor Hawkins, but he was all doped up, taking his own life, albeit by accident, whereas Charlie was clean and the Big C got him. Hawkins was a very good drummer, but Watts underpinned rock and roll. And if Charlie can go…so can you.

KENNY CHESNEY

6/11/22

Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

Capacity: 53,502 

100% sold

Tickets: $69-$274

GROSS $5,569,182

The Jimmy Buffett of his day, and not only musically. Kenny comes around almost every year, it’s a ritual to go to the show, doesn’t matter if he’s had recent hits or not. He’s got enough hits, but he also promises a show, with new, impressive production every year. Sure, he had Dan + Shay, Old Dominion and Carly Pearce in support, but that was just making a day of it. Chesney could sell out stadiums all by himself. It’s doubtful that Eric Church could sell that many tickets all by his lonesome.

EAGLES

5/28/22

MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, NV

Capacity: 10,926 

100% sold

Tickets: $99-$750

GROSS $3,717,639

Charge what the tickets are worth, that’s how you beat scalpers. The Eagles are forever, at least as long as Don Henley wants to do it. Did you see that Kidd Creole was listening to “Take It Easy” when he encountered that guy he killed? Yes, you should read the story, also to see how fame doesn’t mean you’re rich, Creole even worked as a security guard: https://nyti.ms/3OltdCI

LOUIS TOMLINSON

5/15-17/22 (3 shows)

Movistar Arena, Santiago, Chile

Capacity: 8,201

97% sold

Tickets: $26.33-$1,344.65

GROSS $1,386,096

So he only did 97% at one gig in South America… No, he went clean in Lima on 6/1/22 and grossed $1,022,367!

Tomlinson could not sell anywhere near this number of tickets in the U.S. Which used to mean he would sell fewer tickets in South America. But, the U.S. is behind in more ways than politically and economically. The U.K. does a better job of spreading their acts worldwide. And pop and rock travel better than hip-hop, which is where all the focus is in the U.S.

SNOOP DOGG

4/19/22

Denny Sanford Premier Center, Sioux Falls, SD

Capacity: 10,081

95% sold

Tickets: $36.50-$166.50

GROSS $874,490

Snoop Dogg is a legend, around for 30 years already. To do these numbers in South Dakota is amazing. It’s very hard to sell out in these Northern Plain states. Interestingly, the opener was Koe Wetzel, an edgy country rocker who most hip-hop fans have probably never heard of, you’ve probably never heard of, but he’s got streams of 40 and 50 million on Spotify. And you wonder why you’re not rich and famous on your million…

“NASHVILLE COMEDY FESTIVAL”/BILL BURR

4/22/22

Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, TN

Capacity: 12,624

99% sold

Tickets: $29.10-$69.50

GROSS $653,055

Let’s forget the 1% unsold. Just imagine how bad those seats are, in the rafters…FOR A COMEDY SHOW! These barns all have bad acoustics, I’m stunned people will sit so far back to listen to people talk. But they will, that’s just how hot comedy is.

HALSEY

5/29/22

Pine Knob Music Theatre, Clarkson, MI

Capacity: 14,446

92% sold

Tickets: $29.50-$129.50

GROSS $594,949

Halsey seems to have superseded the here today, gone tomorrow stamp that so many of the Spotify Top 50 wear. She’s seen as more of an artist than a hitmaker, to her advantage. As for not going clean, at these outdoor shows there are endless lawns, far away, this is a very impressive number. And she racked up similar grosses in Toronto, Cuyahoga Falls and the Woodlands in Texas.

JOHN MULANEY

5/12/22

Addition Financial Arena, Orlando, FL

Capacity: 7,654

89% sold

Tickets: $46-$126

GROSS $585,363

This guy was seen as white bread and harmless, and in his act he reinforced, in a humorous way, that he was not gay. Then he went to rehab, dumped his wife and had a baby with Olivia Munn and you wonder who really is this guy? Not an edgy comic. But perceived to be one of the funniest out there.

This is a huge number. Used to be comics could sell out theatres at best, with superstars playing a gig at Madison Square Garden. But in truth, comedy is hotter than music. Because in the era of sold-out cancel culture they’re the only people speaking truth (well, there are the Simpsons and other animated characters too). Everybody else is fearful of pissing somebody off, jeopardizing their career. But that’s the comedian’s act! People want to laugh and get a jolt of the truth. Do not underestimate comedy. Rather than becoming a musician, you’re better off becoming a comedian. You can buy your beats, create a hit and be back in your bedroom within a year. It’s a lot harder to make it in comedy, you have to pay your dues, hone your craft, but once you break through you can tell jokes FOREVER!

DaBABY

5/13/22

State Farm Arena, Atlanta, GA

Capacity: 10,929

45% sold

Tickets: $49-$300

GROSS $522,259

45? In ATLANTA?

If you read the press, you’d think that DaBaby was one of the biggest acts of last year, if not the biggest! He’s got two tracks with over a billion, significantly over a billion, streams on Spotify. Too much too soon? People didn’t used to play arenas so early in their career. And are people wary of laying down their hard-earned cash for something that has such a brief time in the public eye?

Of course, this makes one wonder what else in the Spotify Top 50 can’t sell tickets. And if you think the act will have any sort of career, maybe you should play theatres first, where hopefully the demand will be overwhelming, generating heat for the act.

KATT WILLIAMS

4/23/22

Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, MI

Capacity: 5,807

92% sold

Tickets: $59-$350

GROSS $486,387

Katt is a known quantity, but he did these numbers BEFORE his new special “World War III” dropped on Netflix. Sure, there were supporting comics, but none with his firepower, nothing close. Katt sold these tickets.

JIM GAFFIGAN

3/30/22

Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, TN

Capacity: 7,902

97% sold

Tickets: $28.62-$89.75

GROSS $435,148

Arguably he’s leaving money on the table. He’s investing in his career by not charging the three digit prices of all the other acts. This does result in scalpers controlling the great seats and earning the lift, but the low prices do add to Gaffigan’s everyman persona. As for the high prices paid to scalpers… People LOVE PAYING THEM! Talk to anybody who’s paid way over face value for their seats. They love that they didn’t have to buy their tickets a year in advance and they know otherwise there’d be no way they could get these seats. So, you can either pay the act or the scalper, but don’t expect to sit in the front row for under a hundred dollars, the tickets are worth much more to fans!

As for Gaffigan himself. He’s seen as a safe, family comic. Although not THAT safe. But this guy does this kind of business everywhere.

Now think about that gross…

He’s got to pay his agent. But I’m sure he’s paying less than 10%, he should be. And he’s paying his manager, which can’t be more than 15% and should be less. But, for the sake of argument, let’s round off the numbers and take 25% out of 400k. That leaves Gaffigan with 300k! Oh, he’s got costs… He owns his own microphone probably. And he probably pays a road manager he doesn’t need, just to have company. And he stays in thousand dollar a night hotel rooms. But does the promoter pick that up? And then there’s transportation… Well, if he flies, I’m sure he goes private. And let’s just say he does a one-off, leaves New York and then comes back. Let’s put the jet at a relatively high price of 50k to go back and forth to Nashville. That still leaves him with 250k net! Of course, we’re talking gross numbers here, but someone like Gaffigan… He probably has a 90/10 deal. Or something close. And I rounded it off to 400k anyway. The buildings want him inside. To sell parking, food and merch. They’re dying to put acts like Gaffigan in their buildings. A guaranteed seller??!!

BERT KREISCHER

4/10/22

Bryce Jordan Center, University Park, PA

Capacity: 5,958

95% sold

Tickets: $39.75-$99.75

GROSS $339,611

The MACHINE! I hadn’t even heard of this guy until last week and he can sell this many tickets? Would we see this amount of fervor for most of the acts in the Spotify Top 50? NO!

TURNPIKE TROUBADOURS

5/7/22

White House Music Hall-lawn, Houston, TX

Capacity: 5,166

100% sold

Tickets: $50-$400

GROSS $267,650

My e-mail has been blowing up with this band in the last month or so. They’ve been around since 2007, but they’re not on a major label and they’ve never had anything close to a hit. Granted, this is Texas, acts sell tickets in Texas that can’t get arrested elsewhere. But the Red Dirt sound could easily spread with the right commitment. It’s like taking country to the U.K., you’ve got to invest, show people what they’re missing. And this can’t be done via a major label, Universal tried with Pat Green, this has got nothing to do with hits, it’s a slow and steady build that pays dividends forever. This is the new music business. The Spotify Top 50, that hit business, THAT’S THE SIDESHOW!

Having said that, the Turnpike Troubadours’ top ten tracks on Spotify all have double digit million streams. One even has 38 million. So, it’s not just about live. But also know you can have this many streams and still be unknown to most.

RYAN ADAMS

5/14/22

Carnegie Hall, NY, NY

Capacity: 2,741

100% sold

Tickets: $55-$75

GROSS $150,205

I can’t believe Carnegie Hall booked him. Who next, Harvey Weinstein?

This is a bad look. But an incredible number. Until you look and see three days later he only sold 47% of the tickets in a similar-sized hall in Philadelphia, only 1,292 people wanted to see him there.

My problem with Ryan Adams is he never apologized, he never owned his behavior. America loves to redeem its stars, as long as you give us a chance. Then again, in the wake of #MeToo, every infraction is seen as equal, whether it be by LouisCK or Aziz Ansari. CK went back on the road, I don’t think he should have been banned forever. As for Ansari, I’m not sure I get it. He blinked more than CK, but he just got married and…

SAM FENDER

5/7/22

Mitsubishi Electric Halle, Dusseldorf, Germany

Capacity: 7,200

50% sold

Tickets: $36-$50

GROSS $138,154

50% is a bad look, then again I don’t know this hall. Seems like a bad choice, he should have played somewhere smaller but the fact that Sam Fender can sell 3,600 in Dusseldorf, never mind Berlin, is pretty impressive. Fender has the goods, and he’s definitely a rocker. He couldn’t do anywhere near these numbers in the U.S., but why even try? Top 40 radio won’t play his tracks, he sounds nothing like what’s in the Spotify Top 50, he’s better off going where his music is embraced.

CHELSEA HANDLER

4/30/22

Kingsbury Hall, Salt Lake City, UT

Capacity: 1,870

87% sold

Tickets: $49.50-$169.50

GROSS $135,218

Handler does this business everywhere. And she’s been off late night TV for years! Once again, this is the power of comedy. And for those who still think Salt Lake City is backward…you haven’t been there!

NIKKI GLASER

5/20/22 (2 shows)

The Wilbur, Boston, MA

Capacity: 1,093

90% sold

Tickets: $42-$98

GROSS $107,732

Another comedian. And unlike in rock, women in comedy are equal to the men, many make bank, the audience loves you as long as you’re funny.

TWIDDLE

4/2/22

College Street Music Hall, New Haven, CT

Capacity: 1,400

92% sold

Tickets: $25.50-$40.50

GROSS $35,914

A jam band, and not the most highly respected either, at least not by the older generation still going to see Phish and DMB, but the kids need their music too. The last album they had came out in 2018, and it was a live one. The band’s success is not about hit records, it’s not about airplay, it’s about live shows, delivering an experience, that is different every night. They’re throwing a party, the pop arena acts are giving a performance, and there’s a huge difference between the two. See the hit act extravaganza and…you don’t need to see it again, unless they’ve got another hit or two, and chances are they won’t. Whereas Twiddle is a night out, you can own it.

So the lesson is not to shoot for the stars, but the road. And know that traditional success, being on the cover of magazines and all over the radio… Many magazines have gone out of business and all of their readership is down. Believe me, the target audience for Twiddle is not listening to terrestrial radio. So, if you’re good enough, have good enough songs, you’ll eventually get bigger and bigger. Otherwise, you can continue to do it as a job, making a living, until you get burned out. This is the old pre-recording paradigm, and it’s back. You’re in control of your own destiny, it’s only you and your fans. No one telling you what to do. But it’s your responsibility to bring people to the gig, not the label’s, not the media’s, your music is your sales tool, and it either resonates or it doesn’t. Live is where the rubber meets the road, literally, but this is where your excuses evaporate. If you can get gigs and continue to build no traction, you’re either far ahead of the audience or not good enough. 

It’s incumbent upon you to stick it out, you can complain all you want, but no one is listening. And some of the most talented have given up, talent is at most 50% of making it, most of making it is desire and perseverance. It’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll. And it seems live people would rather hear something closer to rock and roll than what’s in the Spotify Top 50.