They’ve only had one hit.

But they’re selling out stadiums.

Yes, One Direction is a boy band, but it’s a different era. Wherein most people have no idea who the band is and they’re making more money than all of their progenitors.

How did this happen?

The Internet.

It’s not supposed to be this way. According to David Byrne and David Lowery and every other musician who earned a royalty in the twentieth century, the Internet has destroyed the music business and a musician just can’t survive, we’ve either got to roll back time or pass a law or just do something or no one will make music anymore.

But that appears to be untrue.

Yes, it’s a boy band. Yes, their work is masterminded by studio geniuses.

But, they’re laughing all the way to the bank. Which matters if you’re worried about money.

Yesterday I went down to the YouTube studios. In Playa Vista. For 1D Day.

I didn’t even know what it was the evening before. And I pay attention.

But that’s the modern paradigm. If you’re not the target audience, you’re completely unaware. In other words, if you’re spending money trying to reach those who don’t care, you’re wasting it. Super-serve those who do and they’ll spread the word for you.

If you’re prepubescent, or barely adolescent, One Direction provide a sexual fantasy. No different from before. It’s just that your parents and their friends don’t have to bitch about what you’re into because they don’t know what it is…until you beg them to buy you tickets for the Rose Bowl.

Yes, that’s where they’re playing. In October 2014.

It wasn’t supposed to last this long!

But it did.

So how do you promote an album in the twenty first century?

If you listen to the usual suspects you go on television. That hardly works, but what channel appears to the 1D demo? Certainly not late night. Maybe Disney and Nickelodeon. But they like to mint and milk their own stars.

No, you go to the Internet. You livestream on YouTube for seven hours.

It was like the early days of MTV.

Only it wasn’t.

In the early days of MTV it was the Mickey Mouse Club with sex and dope and we were all paying attention. They implored us to claim we wanted our MTV and we got it and we all watched it.

Now we all watch nothing. Except maybe the Super Bowl.

Yes, the studio resembled one of those early MTV spaces, it’s just that there were many fewer people watching and even fewer talking about it.

But that doesn’t mean it was insignificant if you’re in the target demo.

Which stretched from Northern Europe to America to Korea to Singapore, with denizens from each of these territories testifying.

And sure, the album comes out Monday, but the goal is to sell tickets.

That’s where the money is. Last time around they sold 2 million albums in the States. They’ll be lucky to do that number this time around. But stadium gigs exceed that gross very rapidly.

In other words, you’ve got to throw out what you once knew and put your thinking cap on.

771,418 people watched at once.

A pittance compared to network TV.

But a number far greater than that which watched the ill-fated YouTube Music Awards, which managed a measly 214k.

Average viewing time? 23:37. For the YouTube Awards? 9 minutes.

In other words, 1D fans are dedicated. And without commercials, you stay tuned in. This is the Internet, you can do ANYTHING!

Go to a live television set and it’s like a military operation. There can be no mistakes. The schedule is tight and the ads must be dropped in.

But 1D Day was riddled with errors, and ran long over. Which was its magic. It was happening on the fly. Which made it fascinating and boring all at the same time.

And there were special guests.

I missed Cindy Crawford, who hasn’t seemed to age since her “House Of Style” days…I saw her on the highlights. What a sentence to make it on your beauty, you’ve got to be frozen in time, inured to the surgeon’s table, to hold on to the one thing that got you an invite to the party.

Speaking of invites to the party…

Oh, to be eighteen and worldwide famous.

The girls!

It’s not that they were dressed up as tarts. Rather, they were outfitted like they were going out on a first date…IN COLLEGE! Barely pubescent, they had boots and tight-fitting skirts…they wanted their best shot with Harry Styles.

Who emitted neither pomposity nor superiority. Just one of the boys. With a Keith Richards headband and a desire to thank everybody involved.

Then again, he just went out for a spin with Kendall Jenner.

How did this happen?

Management is clueless. They think he hooked up through Twitter. So different from the old days when your handlers called mine.

And Simon Cowell was there too. In real life? Not so tall and ultra-skinny. He looked so much like…SIMON COWELL!

But Jerry Springer did have a bulbous nose that I never saw on TV.

It’s like you know these people but you don’t. But the weird thing is it’s the Internet, it’s small not big. Is that the future? Where everybody who’s a star is taken down a notch? That’s one of the problems with doing SNL if you’re a musical act…you end up looking small, whereas the acts of yore were BIG!

And Jerry even gave a FINAL THOUGHT.

But I was most interested in what he got paid.

NOTHING!

Just fuel for his plane, which he donated the cost of to Philippines relief.

Jerry Springer has a plane?

So I’m standing there and I just can’t figure it out.

Is this a boy band, one in a string of many, destined to rise and fall like clockwork?

Or is this a new paradigm, where you go to your fans via YouTube and screw everybody else?

And is Google the new outlet, or is there no money in it?

Or all of the foregoing?

All I know is those who are bitching the music business is history are in a box with three locks that they just can’t get out of. Even Sammy Hagar was smart enough to get into tequila.

The truth is we’re in a brand new era, coalescing now, where it’s less about radio and world domination than figuring out who your fans are and speaking directly to them, utilizing the Internet as opposed to traditional media.

On one hand, same as it ever was.

On the other, completely different.

1. Nobody wants old people’s albums.

Despite a plethora of press, Elton and McCartney’s and Elvis Costello’s album with the Roots sank like a stone and haven’t been heard from since. It’s almost like they never came out. Proving that publicity can make people aware, but it doesn’t necessarily make them interested. In other words, getting someone to listen is the hardest chore of the era. It’s so different from when we were addicted to radio and there were so few stations we knew everything by heart. Now we’ve got tons of options, not only musical, and just because you were important to us once that does not mean you’re important to us now.

2. Los Angeles is the center of the music business.

It was in the sixties, and then there was a shift to New York at the end of the last century. But with Lucian Grainge and Universal/Capitol, and AEG and Live Nation in L.A., this is where the power reigns. You don’t have to be in L.A. to make it, but if you’re a business person, think about moving to L.A.

3. Pearl Jam and Phish are oldies bands.

Everybody’s getting older every minute. Pearl Jam fans are over forty and Phish’s are just under that. Most of them go to the show to relive what once was. And it’s harder than ever for these bands to make new fans.

4. Justin Timberlake’s second album in twelve months was too much.

The hype sputtered out. We’re thrilled when the most beautiful person knocks on our door. But if they do it every day for a year, we no longer open it.

5. Some people are just self-destructive.

Like Anthony Weiner and Alec Baldwin and Chris Brown.

Then again, we’re all flawed.

But we rarely forgive. And if we do, we don’t let you back on the perch, you exist outside the game.

6. iTunes Radio

Too little too late. Pandora had first mover advantage. Be first and continue to innovate, otherwise you die. That’s Spotify’s advantage. They have horrific marketing, but they keep innovating, with chips in electronics and so much more. If you think Spotify is a losing proposition you never studied the mobile phone business. You invest heavily to reap rewards later. Just like the cable companies too!

7. Huawei Android phones are so cheap maybe Apple was right not to compete at the bottom of the market.

8. Some things can never come back, like MySpace.

9. You can’t go to the well every year. Bon Jovi’s tour business was soft, he should have taken a year off, if not two or three, off. U2 knows this.

10. It’s key to invest in your future. The Eagles may have not made money on their movie, but its airplay on Showtime boosted their ticket counts. You spend money to make money.

11. The key to typing on an iPhone is to let the device correct the mistakes.

If you’re used to a BlackBerry and trying to get it right, you’re gonna be extremely frustrated.

12. Everybody still hates Ticketmaster and you still can’t get a good ticket unless you know someone or overpay.

The heat is felt at the consumer level, but this is an industry problem. The lack of trust will come back to haunt artists and promoters.

13. The only money is in the ticketing.

That’s the promoter’s profit. Therefore, he who controls the ticketing wins.

14. Justin Bieber is toast.

He blew himself up.

15. You can’t will a TV show to success.

“X Factor” is a dud. It’s never gonna hit. Cancel it and put it out of its misery.

16. There’s too much information.

Therefore only the best wins. You’ve got to be the best musician with the best songs and performance and…being in the marketplace is not enough.

17. TV can only help with awareness, it cannot break an act.

18. Politics is a loser’s game.

Despite all the brouhaha about the health care act, a huge slice of the country has just tuned out. Nothing seems to get done. Just the same wannabe famous people arguing.

19. Country consumed classic rock, rap is next.

In other words, check out Colt Ford.

20. We expect you to be available 24/7.

Don’t turn off your phone, don’t stop checking your e-mail. You may hate it, but this is the new normal.

21. Artists triumph when they speak truth to power.

One of the reasons music is in a bad place is because everybody is cozying up to power. A great song knows no limits, it can become ubiquitous, it can make people uncomfortable and change behavior. Tracks have power, but you’ve got to use it.

22. You don’t have to social network to make it.

You’ve just got to do great work, constantly.

23. Most of the audience will take years to catch up to your work.

Therefore, if you’ve got some traction, don’t get frustrated you’re not bigger, just keep on keepin’ on, creating all the way.

24. Everything Google does is not successful.

Chromecast…good idea, not a lot of traction. Glass…not so good idea, tons of press, not great traction. Never mind all the Google products that have failed.

25. Execution is everything.

There are tons of good ideas. He who puts his nose to the grindstone and makes it happen is the one who wins.

26. Don’t ignore your core audience.

Touring the world may make you new fans, but it might alienate your old ones while you’re out of the picture, ignoring them.

27. Individuals make a difference.

They still call it “60 Minutes,” but without Don Hewitt, the show is a shadow of its former self.

28. CDs are for Luddites.

29. Record labels are on the verge of a financial cliff, with the expiration of the album.

30. Baseball and automobiles are so twentieth century.

Baby boomers don’t stop talking about them, but their kids shrug their shoulders and lust for the latest mobile device.

31. Gaming consoles are past their peak.

It’s not about expanding the power of the PlayStation or Xbox, it’s about expanding the power of new devices to include gaming. This has already happened with mobile devices, but my main point is it’s about the TV including gaming, not vice versa. One more time, you don’t add features to the typewriter, you make a computer that includes word processing. Gaming is a feature, not the be all and end all.

32. We live in an on demand culture.

If your product is not available 24/7, you’d better be expensive and shooting for an exclusive, tiny audience. Restrictions are history. Make it available, or people will consume something else.

33. Movies are dead and never coming back.

Television has replaced them. Because story is universal and special effects are not. In other words, you’re gonna get very tired of screwing someone who’s beautiful but doesn’t talk.

34. We live in a consumer culture.

If you want to start a trend, start with consumers, not businesses.

35. Youngsters are not always first to a trend.

36. We expect everything to work.

From cars to computers, the old sixties mantra of not buying electric windows because they break is passe. If you buy a product that breaks, you will never buy another product from that company again.

The official anthem of the ’94 earthquake.

That’s the thing about natural disasters, they have little impact unless you’re a victim, and I was one.

I’m a late night person, I’m going to bed a bit earlier these days, but left to my own devices my tuck-in time is around 4 AM, which is what it was back on that day in January 1994.

I’d turned out the light a bit after 4:15 AM. And in that mental twilight wherein you’re trying to fall asleep but in reality are still awake, my house started to shake. Not uncommon, earthquakes happen in California on a regular basis. But then it was like a 747 was flying ten feet above, the whole house started to shake, to the point where if it was a movie you wouldn’t believe it. And I jumped up, didn’t even bother to stand in a doorway, and promptly ran outside where the world was twisting and turning and transformers were bursting on telephone poles and I truly wondered if this was the end.

But it wasn’t.

Half a minute later, normalization occurred, and my neighbors streamed out of their houses, in shock, to the point where not a single person commented that I was wearing no clothes.

And it was like a bad post-apocalypse movie thereafter. Almost nobody driving. Gas leaks everywhere. Grocery stores closed because all the contents had been shaken and stirred and were now on the floor and it was positively eerie. We were here. But regular life had ceased.

And stayed screwed up for days.

The 10 freeway had collapsed. Going nowhere was easy. And the song that kept playing in my head was Supertramp’s “Take The Long Way Home.”

The band had cut one of the definitive albums of the seventies, “Bloody Well Right” got some airplay, but “Crime Of The Century” was still a cult item, the band were far from stars. And “Crisis? What Crisis?” did nothing to rectify this. Not quite as good, the band still rested on the laurels of “Crime Of The Century.”

Then came “Even In The Quietest Moments,” which was even worse, exquisitely recorded as per usual, but possessed something resembling a hit single, “Give A Little Bit.”

But then in 1979, the band followed that up with an album so big, it positively dominated the airwaves into the next decade.

Could we have kippers for breakfast?

Take a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I’ve got.

Boomers know these lyrics as well as those from “Hotel California.”

And diehard fans were thrilled the band had finally broken through, the album was number one forever, but the sound was somehow lighter and not quite as meaningful. But there was one track I could never tire of, “Take The Long Way Home.”

It starts oh-so-quietly. You hear that piano chord and then…you eagerly anticipate the harmonica blowing and the ethereal number that is positively Supertramp.

So you think you’re a Romeo
Playing a part in a picture show

It feels so good! Rodger Hodgson’s vocal, the piano, the changes, the dynamics. You’re on a roller coaster ride that’s not scary but fulfilling.

Lonely days turn to lonely nights
You take a trip to the city lights

It’s got an upbeat feel, but like Supertramp’s classic tracks, “Take The Long Way Home” has got a deeper, darker meaning.

Does it feel that your life’s become a catastrophe
Oh, it has to be
For you to grow boy
When you look through the years and see what you could have been
Oh, what you might have been
If you’d had more time

In 1994 my life was truly a catastrophe. I’d lost everything, I was flat broke, and the earthquake pushed me over the edge.

But right now, life is great. Because just like Supertramp, I didn’t do what was expedient, I stuck to my vision, I waited for the world to catch up with me…

I took the long way home.

Rhinofy-Take The Long Way Home

We went bowling.

Mr. Conley was a cool teacher. He introduced my family to skiing. He showed our class a promotional film about Mt. Snow and I begged my parents to take us and they did, but that was in February, this was a few months before, a week or two after I first saw the Beatles. On Jack Paar. My mother told us to watch them.

Yes, Mr. Conley may have been cool, but Muggs Lefsetz was a hipster, a culture vulture, she was aware of the Beatles before we were. And while my parents were out gallivanting on a Friday night we stayed home and endured Mr. Parr’s show until we saw a grainy black and white film of four long-haired boys singing “We love to yeah, yeah.”

We laughed. Hysterically.

Little did we know that less than two months later the Beatles would overtake popular culture, the whole wide world, and that song would be a hit entitled “She Loves You” with “I’ll Get You” on the flip side of the 45. At this point, I was addicted to the Four Seasons.

It was not my first record, that was “The Martian Hop,” but I implored my mother to buy me “Dawn (Go Away)” and she did. And I played it until the grooves turned grey. I discovered it at Nutmeg Bowl. On Kings Highway. Beneath the discount center known as Topps, where I purchased my initial LPs.

I’m not sure how I became a bowling fanatic. It was a huge sport in the sixties. We watched the PBA on Saturday afternoon, before “Wide World Of Sports,” I even had my own ball. And when we hit sixth grade, and had Mr. Conley, we were privileged to be able to take a bus every Friday to said bowling alley. I guess it was like middle school dances, but this was before there were middle schools and when you had to wait until junior high to go to the sock hop.

Speaking of junior high, it was in the same building.

Yes, Fairfield Woods was both an elementary and a junior high school. With most of the junior high in the new addition. This was back in the sixties, when teachers didn’t have to bring their own supplies, when everybody was middle class, didn’t bitch about taxes and we were all trying to be the best we could be. They were always expanding and building new schools, after all, the baby boomers required it, in sheer numbers alone.

But unlike the other sixth grade class, Mr. Conley’s room was in the new addition. On the tiny ground level floor in the far reaches of the structure. Where it was only us and the band room. We had direct access to a paved play area, where we played kickball during recess. And Mr. Conley would play too. He’d kick it so high and so far the challenge was just to catch it, which we rarely did.

But the point is we were out of the loop. Which is how we liked it. I won’t quite say Mr. Conley was an experimental teacher, there were none of those until the late sixties, but he tested the limits, off the radar screen, yet was still accepted by the mainstream.

And killing the last hour and a half before we could get on that bus to Nutmeg Bowl, you remember, staring out the window on Friday, just waiting for school to end, a junior high student came down from the floor above and told us Mrs. Taylor was crying, that the President had been shot.

Mrs. Taylor? Crying?

She was a legendary hard-ass. She had no reign over us elementary school kids, but that didn’t mean she didn’t boss us around while we were on our way to the cafeteria.

This didn’t make sense. And we didn’t believe it. This was before Snopes, before you could check the truth. But that does not mean there weren’t false rumors. After all, Jan Berry was supposed to have been killed in a crash on Dead Man’s Curve and the Beaver was supposed to have died in Vietnam, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

About half an hour later, the principal got on the intercom.

It was true. Kennedy was dead.

It was kind of like 9/11. It was unanticipated. We woke up without even considering it. Now the President was gone.

Now what?

We weren’t old enough to be scared. Weren’t old enough to be worried. There were no cell phones to call our parents. But even though I walked home, as most of us did, before parents became afraid their children would be stolen if they didn’t eye them 24/7, some kids took the bus, should they take it home or…were we still going to go bowling?

There were about fifteen minutes of limbo. The bowling bus appeared in the driveway. Mr. Conley and a couple of teachers conferred.

Then the verdict came down. We were going.

And I’d like to tell you the mood was somber, that we were crying and unable to concentrate. But that would be untrue. It was almost the same as it ever was. We got french fries from the concession stand. We were frustrated when we missed splits.

But after two strings we were done.

Usually, we then gravitated to the jukebox. But not this day. This day, the bus was late, we wondered if it was ever gonna come at all, and while we waited we watched the black and white set, which was tuned into the news, every channel showed the news, back when there were three networks and three independents and you could literally turn on the set and say there was nothing you wanted to watch.

And the ride home was quiet. No one knew what was going to happen next. We’d seen Lyndon Johnson be sworn in. But when we got home, would things be different?

Not really. Except the world stopped. For the entire weekend, every adult was glued to the television set.

We watched for a while. But missed when Ruby shot Oswald. But caught it on the replay.

And then Monday was a day off, of mourning. I rode my bike up to the reservoir with Bobby Hickey. It was sunny, but almost bitterly cold. But we were not going to stay inside on this day of liberty.

That’s what we had when JFK was alive.

There’s been recent hogwash denigrating JFK’s legacy. And I don’t want to get into the specifics of his administration, his policy choices and his personal life, all I’ll tell you is JFK ushered in the sixties. An era where you were encouraged to think for yourself and be everything you wanted to be.

Culture was paramount. Jackie gave us tours of the White House. Jack told us we were going to the moon. Sure, money counted, but everybody was pursuing science and art and there was a definitive air of possibility.

We’d watched the inauguration. It was a snow day, there was no school. Suddenly, the President was not an old man. And Robert Frost, someone we were aware of and could comprehend, read a poem. And JFK wore no hat and hats evaporated overnight. And then there was that famous speech…

“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

To say it was different from today would be an understatement. The common good, helping your brother, those were the highest duties. Selfishness was abhorrent. Ayn Rand was not a national hero. You could question authority, but there was no doubt we were all in it together.

And there was even the First Family, Vaughn Meader comedy records. You could make fun of the President even if you liked him, there was no viciousness involved.

And then it was done.

It was the beginning of the tumult. When seemingly every year thereafter there was a riot or an assassination and it looked like the country was crumbling.

But what was being birthed was a new nation, not under God, but ruled by baby boomers who took nothing for granted, questioned every precept and tested artistic limits in ways that are still remembered today.

And JFK started it.

No one bitched about a can’t do government.

Alan Shepard blasted off into space. John Glenn circled the world.

It was the beginning of who we became.

And that’s why it’s so important.

And that’s why we remember.

It made us who we are.