He was reluctant.

The Stern show is the go-to place to hawk your wares. Obviously someone told Plant this, but he didn’t really get the memo, that you were supposed to disgorge your history and inner feelings in an expurgation of your life.

Robert was just there to promote his album.

He wasn’t sure what day it was what time it was or how long he’d been in the States, for him it was just another promotional opportunity.

And he was having nothing of the shenanigans.

You see all species of stardom have merged. It’s one giant club, throwing an endless party where everybody is equal. And to get ahead you post on social media and reveal your foibles and mystery is history…

But not with Robert Plant.

He said he wasn’t dating anyone.

But then he revealed he had a girlfriend in an aside.

He was pissed that Howard was taking so long to get to the new album, and was exasperated when Howard wanted history. For Robert Plant is living in the now.

This made for a less than satisfying interview, but it was a great insight into stardom, one we haven’t seen since the likes of Henley on Stern a year ago.

But Henley’s notoriously difficult, whereas…does anybody truly know who Plant is?

He brushed off criticism. He didn’t care that “Rolling Stone” panned the first Zep album (that’s what he calls the band, not “Zeppelin” or “Led Zeppelin” just “Zep”).

He brushed off the privilege of stardom. It was no big deal meeting Elvis, he expected it. Most musicians rub their hands and tell their blue chip stories…

But Robert just recited the facts.

He psshawed Howard’s theory that Jimmy Page was the love of his life. You could hear the resentment in the mind of the man from the Midlands. (Although when he mentioned the “Misty Mountains,” an actual location, your hair stood up on your arm.)

He wouldn’t get into his process. Where the lyrics came from. He said it was all easy, he just went with the flow.

He wouldn’t even bother addressing getting the band back together.

It was all about being a musician, making music and…

This was a revelation, because it’s so different from everybody else.

Everybody else wants the money. They go on the road to play the hits so those who remember will overpay for the experience. They don’t even want to risk new music.

Everybody else will tell you everything.

The first rule of interacting with a star is not to acknowledge they are a star. As soon as you break this rule, they either pull away or treat you like dirt, at arm’s length. Plant kept calling Howard “Dad,” and kept asking where they got this guy and was always threatening to leave, not because he had anything pressing on the schedule, but because his work was done and he was worn out.

And every legendary, gossipy story he denied. As for writing “The Rain Song” to satiate another star’s urging for a ballad, Robert didn’t remember it that way. It was like Robert was living in an unpierceable bubble, that you couldn’t stop marveling at, wanting to get inside.

Of course you heard a few new nuggets. Like his inability to remember the order of the verses in “Stairway To Heaven,” but he refuses to use a Teleprompter, that would kill the experience, and Robert’s all about the experience.

So you go back to way back when and you remember…

Zep were stars. Huge. But there was no context. Sure, they grew out of the Yardbirds, but this was something new, they didn’t sound like anybody else, they didn’t hang with anybody else, they just played their music to their adoring throng and lived the life of rock stars on the road.

You remember rock stars, don’t you? People who were first and foremost musicians, who were mysterious, the other, who hooked you with their magic yet were untouchable and unknowable despite you owning all the albums and going to all the shows. They had enough money to do what they wanted. They had all the perks of life, the women, the wine, the houses, the cars…

But you knew they were different. That you could never be one.

This is not rich financiers and techies, labeled by the media “rock stars.”

Nor is it those “stars” on television competition shows not hunting for talent but banking the bucks, losing what credibility they might have ever had in the process.

You can listen to the Zeppelin catalog and continue to get new insights. Every listen is not the same, despite the underlying song remaining so.

You remember the act being dark, all the stuff about Aleister Crowley.

You remember them having no opening act, before that was a thing.

You remember them having a wrestler as a manager, who single-handedly changed the touring formula, opening the door for everybody else. Why should you pay for ads, why should the promoter get a huge tranche of cash when as soon as the public was aware the show was gonna play it would instantly sell out?

Robert Plant was on Howard Stern for ninety minutes and the end result was we knew little more than we did before.

He brushed away Howard. He brushed away Robin. He was there, but he refused to get off his throne, while he was mostly affable and available. It was like a hologram appeared, and then it was gone. He left before the show was done and when implored to come back he got no rise from Howard’s accolades. The best have heard it all before, they know the context, they never came down from their perch, they could see it when they were young, they ascended the stairway and became…

Rock stars.

That’s what is.

And what should never be is a Zep reunion. You want it, Robert Plant does not. He’s got all the money and the fame but he refuses to rest on his laurels, he’s still in the darkest depths of Mordor, rambling on, WHEW!

Robert Plant On Howard Stern

‘Bang! The Bert Berns Story’

There’s a moment in this movie, when Solomon Burke is sitting on his throne, telling the story of “Cry To Me,” when he opens his pipes and starts to sing a cappella, that your heart will melt and your body will tingle because you know you’re in the presence of talent.

It’s hard to quantify, but you know it when you experience it.

A lot of the people in this flick are dead, not only Berns himself, but Burke and Joel Dorn and Berns’s wife Ilene. Yet some of the people are still alive, like Richard Gottehrer, never mind Paul McCartney, Keith Richards and Van Morrison. And there you have life itself. You start off energetic, you think you know everything, you’ve got nothing but dreams, but then life takes over, with its twists and turns, and although nobody survives, sometimes the records do.

And a lot of Bert Berns’s records are part of the culture.

But most people have no idea who Bert Berns is.

Joel Selvin wrote a book, a passion project that got good reviews but that’s a hurdle for most fans, turning the pages. And there was a musical, which was close but not quite there, and on Broadway it’s got to be there to make it. And now there’s this film. Imperfect, but oftentimes riveting. It’s a telescope into a past we know that no one talks about anymore. We’re concerned with today’s transitions, from analog to digital, coughing up all our privacy to corporations that control our fate. But way back in the fifties and sixties there was little light shined upon the entertainment business, all we saw was the end product.

But this product blew our mind.

Dropping the needle on “Piece Of My Heart,” hearing “Brown Eyed Girl”… This was when records were the essence of the culture, two and a half minutes of pure soul. And a lot has been forgotten since the advent of the Beatles, but there was a scene before the British Invasion, and even the Beatles covered Berns’s “Twist and Shout.”

So he’s a fan. He’s a hanger-on. He’s got a girlfriend but she leaves him because he makes no money. His mother thinks he’s lazy. This is what it is to be an artist. There are defined steps in business, but not in artistry, you’ve got to believe in yourself and continue to pursue your dream, even though you might be laughable to those around you.

Bert loved the Cuban sound. Even went to the island. Started a company with Sid Bernstein, ultimately the legendary promoter of the Beatles, but it failed.

And it’s not like he had a college degree, there was no fallback position, it was only forward.

And then he started writing and producing hits.

And when you have hits, the doors open, everybody wants a piece of you.

But that does not mean they’ll pay you.

The villain in this story is Jerry Wexler. Who knows what the truth is, but he’s portrayed as a conniving gonif here.

You see in music everybody’s untrustworthy, because they came from nothing, and you need an enforcer to get what you want, and it’s still the same, although not as much, because the business has been corporatized, not only the major labels, but Live Nation and AEG too. Used to be a promoter ripped you off, Live Nation can’t stiff you, it’s a public company. But getting all you deserve is still a chore in the music business.

Is that what killed Bert Berns?

I don’t know. Just like I don’t know his exact relationship with the Mafia. To a great extent this film is hagiography, and everybody’s got a dark side, but it’s glossed over here.

Still…

You see 1650 Broadway. The newly-christened Strangeloves discover Rick Zehringer and his band on the road and cut “Hang On Sloopy,” one of Berns’s s compositions, and then they drive to Grossinger’s on the high holidays to play the acetate for Bert, who says it’s a number one smash, and then it is.

Back when a number one was known by everyone.

You know these tracks. There’s little footage of Berns in the studio, little audio, but so many of the survivors and newly-dead are there to testify, to tell the story, and oftentimes this was the height of their career, they’ve been running on fumes for decades, but these peaks sustain them.

That’s the music business. It churns you up. It ain’t a job, one that you do for decades wherein you climb the ladder. It’s hard to get in and it’s hard to stay in, but if you ring the bell everybody knows you’re name.

Except for Bert Berns.

But maybe they’ll know him now.

NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING

If your goal is world-domination, give up. Hell, people don’t even know about shootings these days. You’ve got to operate in your niche and hope to cross over but don’t expect everybody to know you or your work, it’s utterly impossible, the only one with 24/7 attention is Trump.

POLITICS RULES

It drives the culture. It’s more important than entertainment and sports. Entertainment can INFLUENCE politics, but so far this has not happened. Entertainment has power, but it has been abdicated.

GETTING A TV SHOW IS NO LONGER THE HOLY GRAIL

And you don’t even get rich. Getting a TV show is like getting a Grammy, if you haven’t got one, you’re not in the industry. It won’t be this way forever, at least on television. There will be a separation between winners and losers, HBO/Netflix/Amazon and everybody else, budgets will sink and outlets will fail but right now distribution is fighting for the ultimate prize of dominance, and in this case distribution also owns content, so it’s a double-whammy. Distribution is king, but without content you’re screwed. Which is why Spotify is beholden to the labels, but Netflix is ultimately beholden to no one.

HIP IS NOT

There’s no such thing as hip anymore. Hip requires a cohesive society wherein those non-hip can be branded so and feel bad about it. Now everybody’s fighting just to be a member of any group, everybody’s overloaded with input, they don’t care if they’ve missed out on this or that, they’re willing to be hipped.

BEING FIRST IS NO LONGER A BADGE OF HONOR

Of course there are exceptions, buying the first Tesla S, the new iPhone X, but the truth is today’s world is social and it all does not matter until everybody else is involved. So, your goal is to bring others into your group, not to be self-satisfiedly superior.

COLLEGE DEGREES DON’T MATTER TO ENTREPRENEURS

In the old days, of the boomer, getting an education was a prerequisite to middle management. Today’s world is ruled by entrepreneurs, a skill innate more than taught. If you’re gonna use your education to get ahead you’re probably gonna work for somebody else, they’re the only ones who will be impressed.

INSTITUTIONS HAVE BEEN DEVALUED

In an era of haves and have-nots, no one likes to be told how it is or what to do unless it agrees with their preconception. So we’re totally tribal. It used to be we all paid fealty to a layer of unified society sitting atop us, now it’s only the members of that society who believe they rule, they don’t.

BOOMERS ARE TOAST

They don’t set trends. They spend money. But usually not on the new, but the old.

POWERLESSNESS RULES

You can protest all day long online, but you don’t seem to be getting anywhere, you always feel a party of one broken down by the system.

BINARY IS KING

Haves and have-nots. Stars and proletariat. There is no middle. Not in anything. The Asians can manufacture more cheaply and the behemoths have scale which allows them to not only lower prices, but make better products. If you’re coasting, you’re heading towards the bottom. America is one big race, whether you know it or not.

PEOPLE HATE CHANGE

Sure, there are early-adopters, but most are convinced they’ll lose something in the transition. But the new always happens, embrace it. You may laugh at AI, but you’re gonna be using it.

FOOD IS ENTERTAINMENT

And it’s bigger than movies and music, and quite possibly TV. Funny how people will bitch about the price of concert tickets, but they’ll drop a hundred bucks for dinner no problem, never mind fight for a reservation long in advance. Food is like art used to be, it doesn’t scale, it’s totally unique. And, once again, there’s an underclass, those who go to chain restaurants.

DOUBLE DOWN IN TIMES OF CHANGE

He who cuts to balance the books/maintain margins loses in the end. No better example than the L.A. “Times,” there’s little there there. Amazon did it right, ignore the Street.

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM WILL PARALYZE YOU

Don’t pay attention to the blowback, those people are just mad that you’re on the front line and they are not. They want to tear you down and force you to do it their way, even though they’ll jump to the new way overnight, best example being Netflix, the public cried when it went to streaming, angry DVDs by mail were being de-emphasized, and then they all went to streaming.

ASK DON’T TELL

We live in an information society and you don’t know all of it, admit when you’re uninformed.

COLLECT INFORMATION

Winners see all sides. You can only do this by gathering different opinions. He who adheres to only one is ultimately left behind.

KARMA AIN’T INSTANT, BUT IT STILL RULES

Just ask Harvey Weinstein or Bill O’Reilly…they thought they were getting away with it, but they didn’t. It’s the story of all criminals. If you’re crossing the moral line expect to pay for it.

They are going to pay more and own less but they are not going away.

Think of the labels as marketing entities. They can help grease your path to success. But do you need them?

Only if you make popular music, i.e. songs that are on the hit parade, i.e. the Hot 100, otherwise they’re not worth their while, it’s better to keep the money while they do a miniscule job of working you to minor formats, like Active Rock or Adult Alternative. Major labels are into money, not art, and if they can’t make any, they don’t want to be involved, and they don’t want to make a little, they want home runs or grand slams, otherwise it’s not worth oiling up the machinery.

Don’t argue against the reality, embrace the new world.

One of the biggest bottlenecks pre-internet was getting your music into a store. And even if you could do this independently, you had trouble getting paid, without a steady stream of product. But now everybody can get their music on streaming services for a small fee, and can get paid direct and regularly, and this is a great boon, because even if you were owed money by the major in the past, they’d account twice a year and hold reserves, but in the non-physical world there are no reserves, so this is a good thing.

The major labels are not into developing talent, but they are into developing careers. They can take you from zero to hero, but they are not interested in a long hard slog where they allow you to experiment and figure out who you are, it’s too expensive and time-consuming. But if you want to go to the moon, quickly, the label can help.

But it’s not the only way there.

At this late date you can use internet tools to establish your own career. Social media is better than any of the old publicity tools. However, you can get lost in the shuffle. But don’t assume the major can help you out, they want you to do the heavy lifting/posting, and they only want to sign you if you’ve made headway, so…

You’re on your own in the beginning, everybody is, and then you either get traction or you don’t. Don’t tell the label how great your music is, SHOW THEM!

But once you’ve established a beachhead you have negotiating power. This is a critical moment, you’re going to have to give to get. Once upon a time recordings generated a ton of cash and the labels were satisfied with that, now they want a piece of everything.

Unless you’re willing to say no.

This is the big change. If you’re looking for big daddy, or a bank, sign a heinous deal with a major. But now contracts are wide open, every one is unique, so…

You can get better terms.

The old days of the label raping and then starving you are done. They’re gonna give up more in fairer deals. They have to. Because there’s now an alternative path, proven by Chance the Rapper, and never underestimate the power of a leading light, this is not Trent Reznor axing his label, going indie and then going back to the major, no, Chance was built from the ground up without a major, knowing that recordings are not everything. Today you have multiple income streams, with touring usually being the largest, why give up any of that action to a passive investor, i.e. the label? The days of solely being a recording act are through. You not only tour, but you get sponsorships, sell not only merch, but clothing lines and perfume and games and so much more. Because you want to be rich. Everybody likes the money, especially after they’ve been exposed to those who have more, which is what success will give you. Think opportunity as opposed to oppression.

So the major is gonna have to pay a higher royalty/split with more frequent payment.

Also, the next big change is the end of ownership. This is heinous. You sign a deal, pay off costs and then the major still owns the copyright. Expect the major to go to a licensing arrangement.

As for exposure, the major’s forte…

If you want major radio, you gotta sign, but radio is fading, it can make something big bigger, but tracks get started online.

But the majors also have an undue impact on playlists. Will Spotify remain independent? After Jimmy Iovine goes, with his fealties to the majors, will Apple still care about the majors? Amazon?

This is unclear, but one thing’s for sure, it’s better than it was. Radio is a closed shop, but streaming is more open. You can leverage relationships and culture to get added and streamed on the service.

As for the majors’ ownership in Spotify…

Expect that to end. The majors are public companies run by contracted employees who are not in it for the long haul. They’re gonna cash out soon after Spotify goes public.

However, never underestimate the majors’ catalogs. It’s their assets that give them power. An indie has trouble because they have no catalog to pay bills when times are fallow. Also, the majors use their catalogs as a big stick, distributors need them to function.

So, the majors are not going to disappear. And the odds of a giant indie replacing them and becoming a new major are low.

But the majors are gonna take less and be more honest, the landscape demands it, they are no longer the only option.

And this is good.