You can’t have it all.
That’s what they told women, back in the seventies, at the height of the liberation movement, that they could have it all. But you can’t. You’ve got to give something up. Sure, you can have a high-powered job and kids, it’s just that you might not be home when your child speaks their first word.
But this isn’t about women. They were held down and still are, but it’s representative of the seventies. The war was fading in people’s consciousness, they kept saying it was gonna be over, that peace was at hand when it wasn’t, at least not until 1975, and the human potential movement popped up, resulting in what Tom Wolfe called the “Me Decade.” EST, therapy, you wanted to be all you could be, before the army went all volunteer and co-opted the slogan.
Then came the eighties. It was all about greed. There was even a movie where it was said “Greed is good.” The boomers flipped from love everybody to love me, I’m first, and up until the dot com crash of the twenty first century things appeared pretty groovy. Clinton created a surplus. The wall fell. The USSR disintegrated. We believed peace would reign, ain’t that a joke.
The past few decades have revealed the cost of the economic run-up. Turns out many were left behind while those with lowered taxes and higher incomes were living like royalty. To the point where dissension appeared in our homeland, never mind overseas.
And now it’s even worse, we’ve got more questions than answers.
This is the world you’re living in. How do you get ahead?
Well, maybe you were born into wealth, and mommy and daddy can sustain your lifestyle, even after death. But that’s an elite few, what about the rest of us?
We have to sacrifice.
Sacrifice has been a dirty word ever since Jimmy Carter told citizens to put on a sweater during the energy crisis. But we’re America! We’re entitled to drive gas-guzzlers, you can’t impinge on our lifestyle, even if we drive the environment off a cliff.
And sacrifice is involved here, and the youngest generations prioritize the environment and have a different ethos than their parents, and this sacrifice is important, but it’s not exactly what I’m referencing here.
To be successful, to have an impact, you must sacrifice, severely, you cannot have it all.
I talk to uber-successful people all the time. On the surface they might appear to have it all, but in truth, they’re so busy working they don’t have time for their accoutrements, even for their family. It’s so hard to make it, and always has been. This is what they don’t tell you. You can’t be raised by society, it’s all Madison Avenue marketing messages. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a parent who steers you right, but that assumes that parent knows the score to begin with.
But the boomers’ parents didn’t grow up in luxury. Many of their grandparents were immigrants. These boomer parents wanted more for their kids. But they were aware of the manual labor, the picking themselves up by the bootstraps, of their parents. The boomer parents made a life, saw the landscape and wanted to give their kids a leg up. Education was key. You needed to ring the college bell. You had to be prepared for a career. Forget that so many veered from this prescription, and some successfully. But back in the seventies, the goal was to be a doctor or a lawyer, your parents wanted to know that when they died you’d be protected, that you’d have enough money, that you’d survive.
But then the boomers told their kids they could have everything. That no one should lose. You got a trophy for participating. And if someone stepped on your toes, in truth or metaphorically, they would run out and protect you. Bullying was taboo. And the school was at fault, not you.
And education became polarized. Public schools declined. There was a clear line of demarcation between the haves and have-nots. But still, people were told they could have it all, still are.
Like the online influencers. It’s a casino, only you have to gamble 24/7. Even the most successful influencers burn out and abandon the role, they’re working themselves to death, providing content for Mark Zuckerberg and the Chinese so they can become billionaires. That’s the pitch, you too can be rich, just make me rich by bringing in eyeballs.
And the musicians. They just can’t understand why they’re not rich. The game is rigged, stacked against them, there must be some reason why they’re not world famous, rolling in dough.
No one wants to speak the truth, that you need to sacrifice. Greatly. To achieve one significant thing. Hyphenates? Very rare. Don’t specialize too early, but by time you hit your twenties, maybe it takes until your thirties, you’ll see the destination, it will come into focus, and if you want to get there…
You’ve got to give stuff up.
Maybe you can’t drive a new car. Maybe you can’t own a house. Maybe you can’t afford to even get married, never mind have kids.
And you can’t party ad infinitum.
But this doesn’t square with what you’ve been told, that you can have it all!
Which is why the hoi polloi are flummoxed when icons are held in front of their eyes. How’d they make it? I’m entitled too!
Yes, everybody is entitled, but not everybody wants to go down the road less-traveled. What’s that AC/DC song, “It’s a Long Way to the Top”? Never mind staying there.
So the Ukraine war has turned everything we know upside down.
We thought the Russians would cream the Ukrainians virtually overnight. We had no idea to what lengths the Ukrainians would go to defend their country. And this revealed the chinks in Russia’s army, turned out when engaged in battle, when truly tested, it wasn’t that good.
And all day long we’re confronted with images of bombing and death. It’s reminiscent of World War II. It’s unfathomable to Americans, we’re safe, right? Well, that’s debatable. But one thing is for sure, Americans are not into sacrifice, quite the opposite, they believe they’re entitled to all of it. To not be vaxxed, or wear a mask, and be free of Covid. It’s like if they believe it to be true, it shall be. And too much of America is ruled by televangelists, scamsters getting rich on selling falsehoods. When you tune in the channel they sell salvation, and your eyeballs pay their handsome salaries. It’s a good game if you’re the purveyor. As for the receiver… Give all the money you want, there’s no guarantee you’re getting into heaven, that there even is a heaven.
So it’s not only the Ukrainian public willing to die for their country, it’s their leader too, Volodymyr Zelensky. The leaders are usually inviolate, far from the frontline, sipping their brandy in comfort. But Zelensky is right there in the action, with his people. He doesn’t think he’s better than them, he knows he’s an equal. And that the public needs leaders who speak truth. Funny how much truth resonates, we all know it, but few are willing to stand up, sacrifice for it.
Like Alexei Navalny. That’s today’s news, how Russia has given him nine more years in prison.
Now this guy was poisoned by Russia, recovered in Germany and went back to Russia to go to prison on false charges. I can’t think of a single American who would do such a thing. He’s standing up for his beliefs, which are more important to him than the trappings. In a rigged system. Anybody gets wronged in America and they say they’re going to sue. And if they actually do, and lose, they say they’re going to appeal. There must be someone who’ll make this right, who’ll make me whole.
Yes, Americans believe that there’s insurance for everything, that you can never lose. Your job is protected, nothing can be taken away. But this isn’t how the world works, there is progress. And this brings winners and losers. And you might be on the wrong end and have to adjust. This is why the self-esteem movement is rotten at the core. Losing is a part of life. The earlier you start losing the easier it will be to cope when you lose as an adult.
And there aren’t enough resources to make everybody whole.
And if you protect the past, you die inside. Only by pushing the envelope can society be protected. Just yesterday in the “New York Times” it was stated that Toronto is a hotbed of tech innovation. One of the drivers is the immigrants that Trump wouldn’t let into the U.S. Turns out you can’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. But somehow, Americans believe that letting in these immigrants will cause them to suffer, when quite the opposite is true.
So we weren’t prepared for a world with Zelensky and Navalny. Money was paramount, you should point your life in that direction. If you lie, cheat and steal along the way, that’s fine, maybe you too can own a three hundred foot yacht. But suddenly they’re seizing those. These oligarchs thought they were inviolate. Are they ever going to go after the oligarchs in America? I’d like to see that, and I’m not the only one.
Am I willing to sacrifice for that?
That is the question. I mean would you go back to Russia after they poisoned you knowing that you’d be put in jail? On the surface I say absolutely no way. But today, reading that Navalny believes he’ll never serve the nine additional years because the government will fail before that… I’m inspired. One person can make a difference, they just have to sacrifice.
And it’s not one day and one decision. It’s a long time coming, it’s cumulative. You realize the whole is greater than the individual. That there truly is right and wrong. That there are bad guys, and they’re almost always guys, but they’re just guys, they’re just human, and truth is more powerful than the sign of the cross. Everybody knows it, they’re just afraid to speak it.
Except for these guys.
Can you say no to the endorsement/sponsorship? The artist’s great club is the ability to speak truth to power. But so many immediately put this aside, do what they’re told, all in pursuit of money. To the point where we can’t have an anthem in the United States anymore, to the point where a forty year old song has more power than any track on the hit parade, that’s right, Kyiv’s calling. Joe Strummer might be dead, but he’s got more power, more meaning than anybody making music today. He’s got a legacy, along with the song’s cowriter, Mick Jones, and the rest of the Clash. Did the band always get it right? No, but they knew what was important.
So you don’t only study history to learn lessons, you study what’s right in front of you.
Everything’s up for grabs, nothing is protected except you and your mind.
To make a difference you must sacrifice, there is a cost. Because the game is rigged against you. They don’t want to let anybody new in, they don’t want any change.
But the heroes are always the innovators. Those willing to go against the grain. Those willing to stand up for what they believe in.
And each and every one of them sacrificed, severely, to get where they are.
Most people have no idea of this level of sacrifice. But for decades, sacrifice has only been about work. And work is important, but it turns out there are things bigger than money, like right and wrong, like human dignity, and the greats sacrifice for that.
Do you want to be great?
Then you’ll have to sacrifice.
