“The Colonel and the King: Tom Parker, Elvis Presley, and the Partnership that Rocked the World”: http://bit.ly/480ozGy

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If you’re going to music business school…

You’ll learn more in this book than you will in class. Class will teach you the mechanics, the elements of publishing, how to put on a show, you will be taught how to be a worker bee, but all the money is in controlling talent, being on top, and most people do not possess the skills to do so.

Not that the book is the easiest read. Not that any book is an easy read. Reading demands commitment. But the amazing thing about reading is it will take you 90% there. All you will need is the cherry on top, the personal interactions, which will be easily achievable because with your book learning you will STAND OUT!

How do you manage relationships… I haven’t seen this taught in any course. But that was what Colonel Tom Parker specialized in. Creating relationships and staying connected to people. It wasn’t as simple as shaking hands, he created his own fictitious organization, the Snowmen’s League of America, based on how one person snowed another. There were no meetings, and rules that the Colonel made up and changed and discarded on a whim. He inducted people at William Morris. Celebrities. It was humorous, it was fun. Colonel focused on this, fun. If it wasn’t fun, he wasn’t interested.

Fun used to be a core element of the music business, up until about twenty years ago, then it all became too corporatized, too institutionalized, too bottom line oriented, to its detriment.

What looks like blowing a ton of money is a good investment if it keeps your artist happy and producing. This is not the widget business.

Colonel was constantly cracking jokes. And in between asking for what he wanted. He was self-deprecating, stating that he could be wrong, and always warm at the end, noting a birthday or some other important milestone of the recipient of his correspondence. Sure, so much was transparent, but the letters certified that Colonel was thinking of you, you were in it together, on the same team. He continued to humorously ask for a bonus for being an outpost of the William Morris Agency at his home in Tennessee. When promised anything of his choosing from the RCA warehouse, he asked for a computer, long before there were desktop machines, when they were still huge and expensive! And you didn’t always know when he was joking, he kept you on your toes.

As for the record label… He viewed Presley as an industry within the company, standing alone. Not only did he insist on the best deal, but no returns. And if the salesman screwed up and something came back, it could only be replaced with Presley product, and nothing else from the catalog.

And Elvis was in total control of the creative end. What songs to record, how to record them, the Colonel paved the way as opposed to too many managers inserting themselves in the creative process and pissing off their acts.

And the Colonel learned to trust his instincts. Told by William Morris that Elvis’s initial movie deal was standard and then caving on his demands, the Colonel kicked himself soon thereafter. He knew better, as outsiders often do.

When RCA got its knickers in a twist and complained about a debt, the Colonel was incensed, you’re getting all worked up for THIS sum of money?

That’s the role of the manager, to be independent. And to get the most for his artist. Which means you just don’t send a letter of demand and sit back and wait for a contract, you have to establish a relationship with people, show how your interests align.

The Colonel is the kind of self-made person who built the modern music business. Entrepreneurs with big dreams who couldn’t fit into the corporate mold. That type still rules, but there are fewer of them.

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The MONEY! Elvis was always running out! Spending more than he had.

At first tax rates were insane. 90%. But even when lower Elvis would buy things on a whim and his father Vernon would tear his hair out wondering how he was going to pay for all this.

For all the bad press, the Colonel kept his money separate. Elvis had his own accounts and if asked for advice the Colonel would give it, but otherwise he didn’t meddle.

As for the deals…

You can ultimately say that the Colonel was self-dealing a bit, especially with RCA. He started off with 25%, it could be a third, but then he had all these theories that certain product was under the deal and the rest were special projects, for which he was entitled to 50%. And a lot of the RCA deal wasn’t even on paper, but he held RCA to these oral agreements, he used his leverage.

And author Peter Guralnick says that it was not the Colonel’s idea or preference to sell the assets to RCA. It is said the deal was completed because Elvis needed the money!

And even worse, at some point Elvis no longer wanted to work. He went on a spiritual journey. The work just did not get him off anymore. And while he was on his hejira obligations would go unfulfilled and money would not come in, but…

It’s hard to do the same thing year after year and still stay excited about it. Singing the songs that made you famous decades ago. You grow up, you have other interests.

And Elvis surrounded himself with hangers-on, the so-called “Memphis Mafia,” who bled him dry and talked the Colonel down and although providing companionship, kept Elvis isolated.

So?

People are people. A lot of the same rules still apply. Which is why I recommend reading this book if you’re a wannabe. Parker ends up looking good, only those alive back then know for sure, but he was not the devious schemer he’s portrayed to be. He paid his debts/bills immediately, didn’t wait thirty days, not even a day! And if you didn’t pay YOUR bills on time, he dressed you down.

It was all cottage industry, while interfacing with some of the biggest corporations in America. If you’re intimidated by the big boys, you’re never going to win. But you have to entrance them, get them in your circle, and then bend them to your desires. And don’t forget, the company men have a different ethos, they want a salary, they’re not dependent upon innovation, they’re not as hungry. So change always comes from the outside.

All we see is brashness portrayed in today’s world. And there are some like this. Then again, most people talking down today’s bigwigs have never met them, don’t know their people skills, which have allowed them to triumph.

I can’t believe at this late date I’m finally interested in Elvis, but I am.

Because they were working without a net, innovating. Sure, he made all those junky movies, but that was the goal back then, to go Hollywood, and it was still the goal for a long time, Madonna “tried” to be in movies.

But it was all before the Beatles, who flipped the script, created a whole new business. And then came not only FM underground radio, but AOR and MTV and then the internet. Today’s hits are akin to those before the lads from Liverpool, made by committee, steered by execs for a commercial return. But there are still entrepreneurs on the fringes.

Go where everybody else is not. Where there’s room to be creative. Rather than complain about the label, figure out how to do it yourself, if you can create success, they’ll come running.

And the Colonel was never sour grapes, he kept on moving forward.

You need that attitude, that optimism to survive.

If you have success, you can change the system, if you have none, no one is listening to you.

Remember that.

Tune in Saturday September 6th to Faction Talk, channel 103, at 4 PM East, 1 PM West.

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Who does this guy think he is and why does he believe his sh*t doesn’t stink?

RFK, Jr.’s performance yesterday is an indictment of the idle rich, the class system wherein those with a pedigree and wealth think they’re above the rest of us.

I don’t care what you think about vaccines, one thing we can agree on, or at least I thought we could agree on, is how to behave.

But NO!

Maybe it started with Trump interrupting people at debates. But whatever your thoughts, CAN YOU LET ME COMPLETE MINE?

We were watching this series “Confession” on BritBox, the true story of a killer of two women and without giving away too much of the story, the investigating detective is called on the carpet for not giving a PACE warning, which is akin to a Miranda warning.

So, there is a disciplinary action. When the complaint is first filed the officer confronts the detective with the charge and the detective says he’s kidding and gives his perspective. But then…

Said detective is brought in front of the big boss and told he is being suspended. And what does the detective say in response, when he is asked if he has anything to say? NOTHING! Because he realizes there is no upside, all he can do is piss off the boss, it’s not going to advance his case, the boss has already decided.

And when there’s the ultimate hearing the detective answers questions briefly sans passion, because this is how you behave.

A lawyer knows that with a tribunal of experts it comes down to the law (let’s forget about juries), that’s how the case will be decided, on the law, not histrionics. Which is why these hearings are relatively dry.

BUT NOT IN CONGRESS YESTERDAY!

It’s not like RFK, Jr. is going to lose his job. He was confirmed and it’s Trump’s decision. The hearing yesterday was just an exercise. But rather than sit there and listen to what the senators had to say, RFK, Jr. kept interrupting, attacking them, asking the interlocutors themselves questions. A performance so combative and out of control that the only person who can right the situation is Jon Stewart, who famously questioned the combative nature of “Crossfire,” said it accomplished nothing, and then the program was canceled.

Do you think you’re endearing yourself to us by arguing to the point where you look like a jerk?

And if you’re going to be so pugilistic, at least have your ducks in a row. As pointed out by a senator, RFK, Jr. seemed to know a lot about certain things and very little about others. Facts when they supported his anti-vaccine agenda, nothing when numbers were contrary to his beliefs.

I mean let the senators have their say. It’s kind of like being called on the carpet by your parents. You’re going to get slapped on the wrist or hit and anything you say in your defense will only make matters worse.

Then again, unlike in the fifties and sixties not only do parents not hit their kids, the kids have rights and standing and can argue back. How did it come to this? I’m against corporal punishment, but the kid is the kid and the parent is the parent.

And RFK, Jr. tragically grew up without a father in a very large family. Who was teaching him right and wrong, how to behave? The Kennedys of this generation have a long history of heinous behavior. As for going to Harvard…like he would have gotten into the college if his last name was different.

Then he trades on his name to make his money, unlike those with unknown monikers, and he even gets hooked on heroin but since he’s a Kennedy, HE GETS A PASS!

Unlike RFK, Jr., the senators were elected. And it ain’t easy to do so. But RFK, Jr. couldn’t make it as a candidate and was appointed by Trump to his position and is skating just like he has his whole life.

You can put the boy in a suit but that does not mean he knows how to behave.

If RFK, Jr. had just STFU yesterday’s hearing wouldn’t have dominated the news, with video after video illustrating his bad behavior. And it wasn’t only major news outlets, these videos were all over TikTok. And what conclusion should viewers take from them?

RFK, Jr. is a fighter. But like a six year old. He’s going to battle everything that doesn’t go his way, irrelevant of the truth. He’s going to say his accusers are wrong.

This is why criminals have attorneys in court, so they don’t behave like this.

But we live in a world of no consequences. Nothing will happen as a result of RFK, Jr.’s bad behavior. Yes, Trump may cut him loose, that’s his style, when things get too hot he takes action with no forewarning, but we haven’t reached that point yet, not even close. Furthermore, by arguing like this and making news, raising his head, giving oxygen to the issues, RFK, Jr. is doing nothing for his cause. Trump doesn’t want the Epstein files out so he creates diversions, he doesn’t want attention drawn to that which is not a winning strategy.

Maybe you don’t believe in vaccines, maybe you don’t believe in science. Maybe you believe more people were killed by the covid vaccine than were saved. Maybe you even believe the mRNA vaccine was not tested enough. Factually, all of the preceding are false, but good luck trying to convince believers otherwise. And it’s not only right wingers, but people on the educated left too. Like Kennedy, they believe if they just eat right they’ll be immune, read the analysis in today’s “Wall Street Journal.”

“RFK Jr. Is Dismantling Public Health. A Fringe Theory May Explain Why. – The Health and Human Services secretary has long embraced anti-scientific ideas that run counter to germ theory, the basis of treating infectious diseases”

Free link: https://www.wsj.com/health/rfk-jr-what-is-terrain-theory-66b4c660?st=ZGyGPS&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

But this has nothing to do with how you behave in public. The decorum of a hearing. RFK, Jr. should have sat there and taken it. And responded quietly, if at all. The senators have no real power over him at this point. Why is he adding fuel to the fire, evidencing emotion and a lack of grasp of the issues and facts all the while. You don’t help your cause by appearing emotional and uninformed.

It was like he was being personally attacked, like he was on trial for his life. RFK, Jr. was so emotional, so out of control, that all you could do was cringe and then laugh. Has this guy never played at this level before? Does he really not know how the game is played?

Just because others are out of control and have no sense of decorum that does not mean you should too. We live in a society, if called on the carpet you take your lumps and if a defense is required you do so straightforwardly with facts, not emotions, and you don’t attack those in charge.

But that’s America today.

But really, it’s an indictment of the rich and privileged. This is how RFK, Jr. grew up, believing the rules don’t apply to him, that if he just yelled loud enough things would go his way.

How sad. For both him and our country.

Can’t we have a little dignity?

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I never knew Warren Haynes covered this, never mind INXS, both live, the work of a band that famously had left the road, whose songs were thought to be unperformable. You can only find the INXS version on YouTube, and I don’t really recommend it, but the Haynes version?

Actually, my favorite Haynes cover is also live, in this case “Wasted Time,” performed back at Bonnaroo in 2003 and released to the general public in 2004. I remember looking at the track listing when I received the CD in the mail… Really? “Wasted Time”? As in the song that follows “Life in the Fast Lane” and ends side one of “Hotel California,” the one that doesn’t even have its own Wikipedia page despite containing some of Henley’s best lyrics of all time? The entire song is genius, but it’s the final words that are the most memorable.

“So you can get on with your search, baby

And I can get on with mine

And maybe someday we will find

That it wasn’t really wasted time”

Dating is different from the seventies. Boys and girls are supposedly friends, people hang in groups and a date is just a click away online. But back then…you had to go out, you had to mingle, you had to search and then you found someone but then you ultimately discovered they were not the one. This was being a twentysomething boomer.

But that breakup… It was so hard to cope with.

“And you’re back out on the street

And you’re trying to remember, oh

How do you start it over

You don’t know if you can

You don’t care much for a stranger’s touch

But you can’t hold your man”

The irony is this applies to so many boomers today. On the other side of marriage. They’ve been hurt, can they really risk diving back into the pool…seems to me most don’t.

But we’re talking about the title track of Steely Dan’s third album here.

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No one was anticipating the “Pretzel Logic” album, after all the second LP sans David Palmer’s vocals was a commercial disappointment, despite being considered by the cognoscenti to be the best work Steely Dan ever did. But I never heard a single song from “Countdown to Ecstasy” on the radio.

Then again, FM couldn’t quite make heads nor tails of Steely Dan. Despite its ethereal feel, “Do It Again” was an immediate smash on AM radio. And then its follow-up, the upbeat, bouncy “Reelin’ in the Years,” also broke on AM, but it had elements closer to the hits on that format and as a result traditional rock fans and rock radio stayed away. Actually, years later “Dirty Work” was a staple on L.A.’s soft rock station, KNX, but if a rock programmer listened to this…

No.

But the funny thing is “Can’t Buy a Thrill” is my favorite Steely Dan album, even though I didn’t really hear it for four years, when I moved to Los Angeles and found it in my sister’s record collection. There’s a song on the second side that positively slays me, “Brooklyn (Owes the Charmer Under Me).” Don’t ask me to explain it, although now you can read an explanation about a downstairs neighbor online, but there was that sweet chorus…

“A tower room at Eden Roc

His golf at noon for free

Brooklyn owes the charmer under me

Brooklyn owes the charmer under me”

There’s the almost carnivalesque intro and ultimately the backup singers come in on the chorus and the electric guitar solo with a bite and rhythm not heard on conventional rock songs…”Brooklyn (Owes the Charmer Under Me)” stands alone, fits no hole…this is not the kind of cut the meat and potatoes AOR fan wants to drive his Camaro to.

And then came “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number,” which broke right away on AM and was not a great opening salvo for AOR adoption. But compared to the stuff on AM at that point…this was not simple, pop that could be consumed and discarded, anything but fluff…it seemed like intellectuals cryptically telling a tale, which the two leaders of the band turned out to be. And when you bought the album…

“Pretzel Logic” had eleven songs, only one longer than four minutes, the aforementioned “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number,” and there was only a bit over thirty three minutes of music compared to the north of forty of the previous two LPs. What was going on?

Steely Dan was on a lame label, ABC, which despite having Joe Walsh and other hit acts was considered a black hole to fans who were enamored of the Mo and Joe show over at Warner.

And the music… What was “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number”? Certainly not traditional rock in any way. And when you got the album you found jazz influences, which were anathema at the time. But if you played “Pretzel Logic” it quickly started to penetrate. The songs were not so obtuse that they could not be comprehended musically, but they were definitely different from what we’d been exposed to. There were verses and choruses, but they were just posts to hang the trimmings.

“Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” opened the album and was followed up by the more dynamic, driving “Night by Night”…this was not Led Zeppelin, but it was definitely not wimpy.

Then came “Any Major Dude Will Tell You,” incorporating the vernacular in its title and intimate in a buddy telling his story in your college dorm room way. There was sweetness without verging on saccharine.

“Barrytown” was upbeat, and lodged itself in your brain after only two listens. Maybe the up and down melody and where exactly was Barrytown?

The first side finished with a cover of Duke Ellington’s “East St. Louis Toodle-Oo,” years before Joni Mitchell made “Mingus,” when most rock fans had no idea who Duke was, never mind his legend, they couldn’t really understand “East St. Louis Toodle-Oo” but they came to know it, because it finished off the first side and that’s how you played your albums, the whole side through.

As for the second side…

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“Parker’s Band” seemed to align with “East St. Louis Toodle-Oo,” and you didn’t have to know much to know that they were singing about Charlie Parker, but most AOR listeners knew nothing about Parker, and were categorically against jazz. But “Parker’s Band” was a tear. It took off like a shot and you had to hold on to your hat, you didn’t have too much time to contemplate it, you could only go along for the ride.

“Through with Buzz”…the title lyrics stuck in your head, and then there was that great change in the middle.

“With a Gun” had a western feel via New York City, which was riddled with crime at this time, it was a combination of White Album acoustic combined with the proficiency of studio players. And then there was the hiding in the bushes with the Luger… “With a Gun” was a mini-movie.

Which was followed by “Charlie Freak.” Which like “Barrytown” went up and down melodically, yet with a darkness underpinning the entire number.

The closing number, “Monkey in Your Soul”…was not a traditional album-ender, which was usually a summing up, a closing down, either quiet or an in-your-face final statement, whereas “Monkey in Your Soul” was more upbeat and more driving than what had preceded it, to the point where when it ended all you could do was drop the needle to listen to the album again. You were swinging, you didn’t want to stop. “Monkey in Your Soul” was like a live encore, a jaunty number leaving you wanting more.

But in between “Through with Buzz” and “With a Gun” was the title track, “Pretzel Logic.”

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That GROOVE! Listeners knew what a groove was, they’d listened to soul records, but this was not traditional rock fare, nor were the horn accents, never mind those quirky lead guitar accents, looping in the background. In rock the lead guitar dominated, but not here. Until the solo, which sounded at first like a trombone on mute, dancing in a nearly spastic way, unfamiliar to the rock audience, BUT IT FELT SO GOOD!

And then back to that groove, set by the keyboard.

And then when the vocal came back…

“I stepped up on the platform

The man gave me the news

He said ‘You must be joking son

Where did you get those shoes?’

Where did you get those shoes”

These were hipsters. Cool people. Who knew the difference in footwear, who would judge you based on what was on your feet, delineating a definite line between them and you.

Unlike today, Steely Dan was not accessible, they’d even stopped playing live. They were making music in darkened studios and then…who knew exactly what? But one thing was for sure, you wouldn’t see them downing a beer at the local watering hole in the western-style wear that was the uniform of the era. They might not have even owned a pair of jeans. Not even Frye boots.

But you could listen to this music.

It was like Steely Dan said F*CK YOU! after “Countdown to Ecstasy” was not broadly embraced and determined they were going to do it their way, which was unlike anybody else’s way.

5

I woke up with the groove of “Pretzel Logic” in my head. Not that I could remember the title of the track, but going through my brain was:

“I have never met Napoleon

But I plan to find the time”

Not a subject of rock lyrics at the time, when Robert Plant was infatuated with “Lord of the Rings.”

And the amazing thing is when a song is in your brain you never lose it. It’s on a loop, over and over.

But with the magic of Google I searched and of course I realized it was “Pretzel Logic” after the result was coughed up. And I immediately pulled the track up on my phone.

“I would love to tour the Southland

In a traveling minstrel show”

Needless to say minstrel shows were a thing of the past at this point. However there were rock bands crisscrossing this great nation of ours, and you could see them on stage and nowhere else. And they didn’t pledge fealty to their fans, rather they were dark and private, doing who knows what in their hotel rooms…drinking alcohol, shooting drugs, getting laid. This became the lifestyle an entire generation became enthralled with. Sure, there was perceived to be plenty of money, but… You didn’t have to get up for a nine to five job, you had no boss, and when you came offstage people were throwing themselves at you. And the driver was this music.

By this time there was merch. But bands were not brands. Their records were their edifice, and it was enough. You didn’t feel ripped-off by the acts, you’d like to give them even more money if you could get anything in return. But they didn’t want it! They were too busy traveling from town to town in a rarefied air we had no access to.

But not Steely Dan. We had no idea what they were doing, but they certainly weren’t on a plane from town to town, never mind a bus. And maybe they were night owls up all night at home, but you also knew they were reading, watching and going out and experiencing and reporting back, in a way so enigmatic that all you could do was listen to the records over and over again to divine. If you wanted this hit, this was the only place you could get it. No one else evidenced the same influences. And so many of those who dominated the airwaves were uneducated and far from book smart, but Steely Dan…

“These things are gone forever

Over a long time ago, oh yeah”