I was puking blood.

The good thing about being locked up for three years is I never got sick. But three weeks ago I went out four nights in a row. Two of those were outdoors. One was indoors, but there was a high ceiling and I was relatively alone. Another was at a restaurant sparsely attended. But after that outdoor gig at the Hollywood Bowl I went backstage and got in a long conversation with Jacob Collier and his team. This is what I do best, relate to artists. If I was a businessman I’d be rich, but I am not. I don’t know how to get along like a bro, I don’t know how to charge. But if you want to talk concepts, feelings, I’m your man. And a real artist specializes in those. And it was Jacob and his right hand guy from MIT and his manager Adam and a management team member from England and we were having a very fruitful conversation about AI and the possibilities. Jacob was talking about triggering, using AI to create music. It’s all blue sky, there are legal issues, but instead of being defensive, saying no first, artists look forward, see every innovation as an interesting challenge, an opportunity.

So Jacob had just flown in from Asia. As had two of the aforementioned team members. And I think I got something from them. Because traveling musicians, they’re sick all the time. I don’t want to blame them, stuff happens, but everybody else I was with over those four nights is totally fine, and for three weeks now I’ve had a cough.

Hmm… No sore throat. No jag where I couldn’t stop coughing. And then…

I’d just left my car for a hike in the mountains, this was Friday night, and my chest felt rough, scratchy. And I didn’t have a beverage with me, but there was a water fountain about ten minutes ahead and I figured I’d stop there and partake and ultimately clear my throat.

But the cough wouldn’t go away. So I decided to expectorate, you know, to clear the passageway.

And when I spit on the ground… I saw blood.

Not that thin stuff, you know, saliva with a bit of a tint. This was splotchy, and a deep crimson color.

But that was just once. My throat was clear now, right?

Well, I kept on coughing and expectorating and the same thing happened. Splotches of blood. Big ones.

This was after I’d turned around. After I’d Googled and found out coughing up blood was evidence of an infection, maybe pneumonia. I needed some expertise.

So I called my doctor and when I got to the part where you page him, I realized I’d better go home first, in case I needed to write something down, and that was only twenty minutes away, so there I went. And when I got home I paged my doctor, who got back to me right away. Yes, that’s the attention I get. And I’m paying a hundred cents on the dollar. My internist went off insurance years ago, and then he stopped taking Medicare, but this was the guy who found my leukemia and…it’s worth every penny.

So he called me back instantly, I described my symptoms, and he asked me what I thought.

I said I thought I should probably take an antibiotic.

He wasn’t so sure. He thought I needed to be seen. He thought I shouldn’t be cavalier about this.

Now the weird thing about turning seventy, and that is the age I am, even though I feel about fifty years younger, is you realize you’re gonna die. You can fight aging, but you’re never going to win the battle. You can lie to yourself, get plastic surgery, hang with young ‘uns, lie about your age, but inside you can see the end coming. And it’s very weird, because so much of what used to have meaning no longer does. And that’s exacerbated by the Internet era, where everything is Balkanized, where there really is no chart and you’re not sure where you really stand. You’re alone. Even worse, your contemporaries, so many of them have already retired, they’ve retreated, they’re living a life of leisure. And they’re focused on their grandkids. I’ve got no kids, never mind grandkids, and there’s still so much I want to accomplish, but time is running out. Christine McVie didn’t even make eighty. And Robbie Robertson just barely did. And then there was that guy who went to the hospital, they found out he had pneumonia, and right thereafter he died.

I didn’t want that to be me. But it could be.

So my internist gave me two options. I could go to Sollis or the ER.

Sollis? I’d never heard of it. What it is is concierge ER. They see you immediately, they triage the situation, get you additional treatment if you need it, get a bed for you in the hospital. And my doctor thought I might need that, a bed in the hospital, or oxygen, he was scared by my cough.

But you’ve got to join Sollis. But my doctor said the first visit could count. He wasn’t sure of the cost, he thought it was five grand. Turns out it’s six grand. And that was just too rich for my blood. And this was the first time I wished I had more money. Made more money. Because when it comes to your health, you don’t want any limits, you want the best and you want it now. As the Eagles sang, the doctor says he’s coming, but you’ve got to pay in cash. It’s good to have that cash.

But if I might need to be admitted to the hospital anyway, why not start off at the hospital? My doctor recommended St. John’s, which is in Santa Monica.

So I shaved and showered. On one hand time was of the essence, on another if I was stinky and…

I was planning to go alone. Because the ER can be interminable. But Felice insisted on coming with me. Which I felt guilty about, but like I just said, she insisted.

And in case you haven’t been to the ER recently, they prioritize. If you come in profusely bleeding, or if you come in an ambulance after being in a car accident, they see you right away. But if time isn’t of the absolute essence, if your condition is not life and death, you may continue to be bumped down, it could take hours to be seen.

But it didn’t seem that busy in the waiting room. And no one looked incredibly sick. Then again, after about an hour someone came in with suitcases, and another with oxygen, so I read my book and did the Saturday “Times” puzzle on my phone. I never do it, I don’t have the patience and I’m not good at it, but I astounded myself by actually filling up about thirty percent. Well, maybe twenty five percent.

And then they called me in.

After three hours.

And now I had to give my spiel. I like to make it detailed but short. You want to give all the information, clearly, with nothing extraneous. And you’ve got to talk about extenuating circumstances, like I’m immune-compromised, because I got a Rituxan infusion for my pemphigus and it wiped out all my B-cells. This is another reason my doctor wanted me to go to the ER.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that as soon as I was lying on the bed, talking to the doctor, I felt like I wasn’t entitled, that what I had was no big deal. Then again, I’d already put in three hours.

Did you know they’ve got a portable x-ray machine now? They wheel it up to your bed, shoot pictures, and you wait for the results. They said it would be at least an hour, but the analysis came in about thirty minutes later. It said:

“IMPRESSION: No definite acute process. A small amount of left lower lobe pneumonia cannot be completely excluded, exam limited by portable technique.”

So now we needed to do a CT scan.

Now when you’re lying there, it’s like you don’t exist. It’s like a club of doctors and nurses and they all hang in this office in the middle and they’re having a rollicking good time and even if you yell, they usually don’t hear you. And I didn’t want to be pushy, but I’d been holding it in for hours, I needed to pee.

So when one of the maintenance people went by, I told them and they got a nurse and I was disconnected from the wires and I went to the bathroom and…

Now I’ve seen worse at port-a-potties. At airports. But this was a hospital. Go to In-N-Out and they’re cleaning the toilets regularly. Even in the gas stations you fill up at in the desert. This is their calling card. But at the hospital?

Since I was disconnected and up, I figured I’d give #2 a try. But there was no way.

So I walked around the building, looking for another lavatory, and eventually I found one and I’d like to tell you it was clean, it wasn’t, but it was cleaner, so I did my business and on my way back, I poked my head into the bullpen, the office, and they freaked out! I just wanted to know when I was going to get my CT scan. It was 2:30 in the morning already. The two people in the beds next to me were close to death, at least they looked that way. They were now asleep. Both very aged. No one seemed to be worried about them. But me?

And I’m thinking I’m young, but I’m aged too, just not that aged.

So I go back to my bed and within half an hour they came and started rolling me around, on the way to the picture room. And this is when I really started to feel weird, like I wanted to get out of there.

What I didn’t mention is I’ve had the negative experience a number of times. You know, what is a routine test is not. And the doctor looks grave and they start to take action and your head spins and you settle into passivity, being wheeled around the hospital is part of the experience, you almost enjoy it. But in this case, I wanted to jump up and leave, I didn’t want to be considered sick. But I’d invested so much.

So they took the pictures and I started to wait again.

I had the scan just before 3 A.M., and then it was 4, and then it was approaching 5… I was getting itchy. But like I said, I’d invested so much time.

Now I forgot to mention, that those results that came in early… I got them on my phone. It’s really pretty amazing. St. John’s is a Providence hospital, but UCLA and Cedars have these apps too. You get the results as soon as they’re in, oftentimes before the doctor sees you, and this can be scary. But the CT scan was not showing up.

And then, at 4:55 AM, the ER doctor came to consult with me. The CT scan had shown nothing… Well, it did show calcification of the heart, but I already knew that. Rust never sleeps. You’re fighting deterioration 24/7. Go to the doctor, face the music, accept the process, or be ignorant and die.

So…

It could be pneumonia. Or it could be bronchitis. You can cough up blood with bronchitis. But just to be sure I should take an antibiotic.

And after eight hours at St. John’s, we got in the car and left. At 5 A.M. Thankfully before the sun came up. Because if you’re a late night person you know there’s nothing so depressing as the sun coming up, you want to lay your head down before that happens.

And I got to be about a quarter to six and…

I wanted to forget the whole damn thing. Make like it didn’t happen. Because otherwise I’d get angry and frustrated and there was no upside to that.

And I woke up to e-mail from my internist asking for a report, the data had not shown up for him.

I told him I was going to take a Z-pak.

He told me if the cough persisted there were things he could prescribe. Steroids… There were about four.

And then I decided I was not going to leave the house. Screw hiking, I was wiping the decks clean. Because it’s like Covid, not such a big deal if you’re young, but if you’re old, it’s a really big deal. What seems minor could kill you. We always think we’ll bounce back, but that’s not always true.

And now I’ll hear from those people telling me Covid is serious, and coming back. As if I live in a rat hole and know nothing. And this will lead to the antivaxxers, which I completely don’t understand. Did you ever get into a discussion with these people? They start citing facts that are easily disprovable online. If you paid attention you know that the mRNA vaccines were not new, they’d been created over years, it’s just now they had a use, for Covid. But I keep hearing people telling me they were rushed. That it was too new. And then about all the people who died. Well I know plenty of people who died, but they didn’t get vaccinated. Which way do you want to have it? I’ve got to ask you, do you feel lucky, punk?

And believe me, when you’re in the hospital dying you’ll want everything they can throw at you. You won’t be calling your healer, your naturopath, you’ll want some of those western drugs. Oh no, Big Pharma is the enemy! And doctors just want to run up the bill!

Of course Big Pharma is flawed. And there are stories of doctors over-prescribing on a regular basis, doing unnecessary surgery. But do you throw the baby out with the bathwater?

I’m not arguing with you. It’s your choice. Do what you want. But know your odds of a long happy life are better if you go to the doctor, get the tests, get the immunizations. Then again, statistics tell us the wealthier live longer, because they get better health care.

Bingo.

This is one area where you don’t want to skimp. Then again, maybe you don’t have enough money to get the best care. That’s another feature of America, everybody’s on their own.

And I’ve got to tell you, at five in the morning Sollis looked pretty good. I still couldn’t rationalize it, I mean when was the last time I was in the ER? But maybe next time it will be more serious.

So I’m laying low, my cough is a bit better. But who knows?

I certainly don’t, but I don’t want to chase the dragon, I don’t want to test the limits, I don’t want to burn the candle on both ends. Because when you’re older it can catch up with you.

Then again, thinking about it Friday night, I decided I cannot become gun-shy, I cannot stop doing things for fear I might get hurt. If you’re not living life to the fullest, why live?

And the weirdest thing is as I was getting ready to go to the hospital, scared, I realized if I did die, I’d lived a good life. Maybe I’d die before my time, but how much could I complain? Then again, my father died at seventy, from the Big C. I wonder what was going through his mind?

I’m now at that age. Both of my parents are gone. Which means I’m next.

When it’s going to happen I am not sure. But I want to do my best to push it as far into the future as possible.

Trailer: https://tinyurl.com/dfft5d48

I watched this two-part series about a month ago, and didn’t write about it then because no one would know what I was talking about. Kind of like when I wrote about “Hamilton” before the mania hit. There’s a delay. Even worse, this two-part series premieres tonight on MGM+, the streaming service formerly known as Epix, and how many people have a subscription to that? Ultimately, it will be available elsewhere, but the buzz will be gone, and sans buzz will it ever be seen?

So what you’ve got here is a maybe to be forgotten production about a fading era.

This is very strange for those of us who lived through it. Kind of like the Deadheads of today, whose knowledge seems to start with 1970’s “Workingman’s Dead.” But before that there was a journey into the universe, an exploration, yet what about the rest of the San Francisco bands? Like the Charlatans?

Completely forgotten.

Charlatans member Dan Hicks ultimately had success in the early seventies with his band the Hot Licks. There was “Canned Music” and “I’m an Old Cowhand (From the Rio Grande).” But even more there was “I Scare Myself,” with Sid Page’s violin.

Here, check it out, and you should:

Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/7zcu2chp

YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/yc6u9b79

Listening today you’ll hear a roughness we didn’t experience back in 1972, when it was released. You see back then it wasn’t about perfection, but a feeling, an essence. The music was not bulletproof, it connected on a soulful level, it lived and breathed, which is why we embraced it.

Like the Grateful Dead themselves. Who might have been the roughest of them all, even into the seventies. “Workingman’s Dead” and “American Beauty” were anomalies. Mostly the band was one of experimentation, trying to find a groove that would hook the audience and lift the assembled multitude.

Now the funny thing is the pre-1970 San Francisco music scene is being forgotten. Back then there was almost no information. And there were few hits. The Dead had none. Nor Dan Hicks. The Jefferson Airplane broke through on “Surrealistic Pillow” with “Somebody to Love” and “White Rabbit,” but Quicksilver Messenger Service never had a hit. And it wasn’t until the seventies that Steve Miller became ubiquitous.

Now by time you hit the seventies, there’s music on TV, and tons of press, and that era remains alive. So the second episode of this production is less enticing, but the first…

There were no influencers, there was no social media, everything was positively local. And Grace Slick was two-dimensional, all you knew about her was her songs. Which made her even more iconic. Because you filled in the blanks yourself.

And Janis Joplin… Her backstory has faded, but even creepier, her music has faded. At this point, Joplin is mostly remembered for her rendition of “Me and Bobby McGhee,” if she’s remembered at all. But that Big Brother album, “Cheap Thrills”… That was not background music. You listened to that record and wanted to get closer. Which is why you went to San Francisco, you wanted more of this.

Now this experimental ethos in music was superseded by the experimental ethos in tech, ironically also from the Bay Area. Used to be California was a different country, three hours behind. Cut loose from the east coast. A place where anything went. Today they say that’s Florida, but nothing could be further from the truth. Florida is about retro hedonism. Sure, there are a lot of loose nuts and bolts, but California has always been about moving forward, pushing the envelope, this is where Chuck Yeager made his sound-barrier breaking flights.

Yeager was made famous by Tom Wolfe, by his inclusion in “The Right Stuff,” which they even made into a movie. But the piece-de-resistance of Wolfe’s nonfiction output came earlier, in 1968, with “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test,” the story of Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters. This was required reading for the college student of the seventies. This was inspirational. Here were a bunch of people rejecting conventional society, making fun of people who rarely got the joke.

So, Jerry Garcia is dead. Tom Wolfe too. When I talked to Dan Hicks in the nineties he was burned out, still singing for his supper, after all these were not people with IRAs, but living in the now.

And not only are so many of the musicians gone, now their audience is disappearing too. And their stories with them. This won’t happen to the modern era, everything is digitized, at your fingertips, but before that…

I highly recommend the first episode of this series. And if you’re younger than forty, stick around for the second too, it will be new to you.

But mostly the series bummed me out. Because I’d been there and done that and seemingly everybody has moved on from there. Warmongers employ the peace sign. Groupthink is prevalent.

But once upon a time it was all about being an individual, on your own trip. That was what the sixties in San Francisco were all about.

Tune in Saturday August 19th to Faction Talk, channel 103, at 4 PM East, 1 PM West.

If you miss the episode, you can hear it on demand on the SiriusXM app. Search: Lefsetz

Subject: From Tamara re Lahaina fires

My son is eight years old and lives to surf Breakwall & Harbor breaks in Lahaina. He does the HSA competitive circuit. My daughter is 3 and a half and just two weeks ago she stood up on her own board. She likes to sing to the big waves. They also skateboard at the Lahaina Skate Park where our community hosts Friday Night Skate with free food and gear for anyone who comes. We live in old town Lahaina, one block from Front Street. We ran out with the shirts on our backs. We made it out. Hundreds did not. Our homes are ash. Our town is gone. We were locked into an inferno. 

There has been a lot of faulty reporting on this, so I’d like to give you what I experienced, and as a former journalist I take my facts very serious. 

We live on Wainee Street. One block from Front Street across from the historic Prison. At 4am our power went out due to hurricane winds. Power goes out a lot in Lahaina. So this is not unusual. We gathered our friends to come have lunch because we have a generator an no one has power. We had 15 people at our house. Earlier in the day we were told there was a fire but it was 100% contained. I never got that alert. Some friends did. The winds got so bad that our fence flew off, pieces of our roof. Still no alerts. Then we smelled smoke we walked outside and within seconds it was in our backyard. We grabbed the kids and ran with the shirts on our backs. I was driving the car with my son and two boys we watch out for who live at the homeless shelter. The fire was chasing us from behind. We got to the main road and it was gridlock. A power line was down blocking the way out. Again. No sirens. No evacuations. No one directing traffic. Fire rushing at us. When we finally through we saw three workers with chainsaws cutting the pole to pieces to unblock the road. Only three workers! People who left after we did not get out. Unconfirmed deaths from the police we know is hundreds. Families burned alive  in their cars. We reunited the shelter boys with their mom and siblings the next day. She told us some people at the shelter had no transportation and just waiting for the fire to get them. This is what I saw. This is what happened to me and my family and community. Everyone knows Front Street. What you don’t know is that a few blocks up is lower income housing, a homeless shelter, generational hawaii homes. This is Hawaiian land. We must keep Lahaina in Hawaiian hands. I’m in the board of a local non profit. We’ve gotten in emergency supplies. We have been to ground zero. We have seen the cadaver dogs looking for bodies. We know a firefighter who said they lost water pressure during the fire and could not get water to fight the flames that day. 

What happened is criminal. What is happening now is criminal too. Land grabs. Barricades. Blocked access. 

People are angry. Rebuilding will be Herculean. But we are Lahaina Strong. I want to give a special shout out to my friends in the music business who have come through for me, you know who you are and I’m forever grateful. 

There are many organizations to give to. I only ask that you give to a Hawaiian organization not a multi national one. The one I’m on the board of a small and focused on underprivileged youth. Manamentors.com. We will take care of the kids of Lahaina the best we can and partner with real community leaders and get them emergency supplies and hope.

Mahalo 

Tamara Conniff

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Subject: Colonoscopy

Hi Bob,

A few weeks back you were advising everyone to get a colonoscopy. I had been putting it off for ten years. I turned 60 on July 7th and finally got one. And what I thought was bleeding hemorrhoids was Stage 2 Rectal Cancer. My Oncologist said every one thinks they have bleeding hemorrhoids. Fortunately, my wife works in administration at the cancer center of a local hospital. So everything has been moving along at lightning speed. I’ve had my scans, it hasn’t spread. But I’m looking at chemotherapy for three months then surgery. I should recover completely. But if I’d gotten my first colonoscopy at 50, all of this could have been avoided, because this tumor started as a polyp. Which is much easier to deal with then a 3 inch tumor. One of the Oncology nurses who has been employed  30 years at the hospital told me she’s seeing colorectal cancer in adults as young as 30 now, unheard of in years past. I’d advise every adult over 30 to get checked. . Yes, the colon prep is annoying and aggravating, but what’s one day in the context of the rest of your life?

A Colonoscopy Evangelist,

Sean Brown

Asheville, NC

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Subject: Re: Not Everybody Has Talent

I love you Bob. Right on the money. I haven’t done any sets for about 3 months. You can bet that the Chateaux and all the other clubs will be seeing me do my stuff for five minutes at at a time to get my sea legs. Often I do sit in the back of a club watching comedians of all different types of experience. And usually I say to myself, who encouraged this? Either because they’re not funny or just plain vanilla. Like everyone else. When I do see someone with a true comedic voice, taking risks, it’s thrilling. I’m hopeful every time someone hits the stage. Here’s a thought. Don’t follow your dreams, do what you’re great at. And if you’re oh so lucky, your dreams are what you’re great at. 

All my best,

Jeff Garlin

(Comedian of some notoriety)

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Subject: RE: Not Everybody Has Talent

Hi Bob,

You are spot on regarding Steven Wright’s talent and humor. Steven was in a couple of classes with me at Emerson College in Boston in the 1970s. Several fellow students thought he was weird, while I found him clever and humorously understated. Being understated in comedy is hard to sell unless you are seriously good at it. He is.

In one class, I heard Steven behind me talking to himself about buying a cordless extension cord and not knowing where he left it. He was working on his act. That’s what talent does. He had to exercise a thought that had just come to him.

Other talented and successful comedy classmates, Denis Leary and Eddie Brill, were louder and bigger than life. That was the perfect contrast for Wright. He had his own lane, which helped when he hit the road on the comedy club circuit. 

He still cracks me up.

Don Thomas

____________________________________

From: David Sutton

To: Bob Lefsetz

Subject: Re: Lucinda Williams At The Ford

Hey Bob

My P-bass you mentioned at the Lucinda gig reminded me of when I first got it on Christmas morning when I was 16. It was brand new and I remember seeing my reflection perfectly when I opened the case. I try not to think of all that paint in my bloodstream.

David Sutton

From: Bob Lefsetz

To: David Sutton

Funny, I got e-mail saying it was a replica, bought worn down/used!!

From: David Sutton

To: Bob Lefsetz

Had they only noticed the other parts of the bass that only a young player would regretfully do to it …….having to put on a generic replacement neck after pounding out the frets on the original neck for his obligatory Jaco Pastorius phase. As well as adding a 3 lb replacement bridge which makes it the heaviest bass I’ve ever strapped on….

Def NOT a newer “relic” bass.

David Sutton

____________________________________

From: Peter Noone

Subject: Re: Play Live

Sometimes if you are already a star it is even more difficult to stop the people dancing.

The main difference today is the lack of enthusiasm for live music, which can’t be photographed

When I was a teenager I went to the twisted wheel in manchester and the Spencer Davis group backed two American girls and at around 3 am Steve Winwood came out with a12 string and played and sang Georgia on my mind and just like seeing the Beatles for the first time in a field in Urmston I knew…..live was and is always the truth in music, unless you have midi running you.

____________________________________

Subject: Bill Payne

Thanks for giving us a chance to hear from Bill Payne.  In addition to being an amazing presence behind a keyboard, he is a very nice guy who genuinely loves music.  My band,  Several Dudes, reformed a few years ago to keep alive the memory of a bandmate, Nick Stevens, who was hit and killed while cycling. We have been writing new music and raising money for cycling safety advocacy. 

Our fallen bandmate’s wife sent us his old lyric notebook which included lyrics to a song called Your Heart. At the top of the page was a posta it note where he wrote: “Dude. New Tune. Very Little Feat”. We went all in on the Little Feat vibe when we wrote the music and somehow got it to Bill Payne.  Bill replied that he loved the tune and had to be on it. Two days later he sent us perfect piano and organ parts and simply asked that we make a donation to one of his favorite charities – Feeding America. The world needs more Bill Payne’s!

Devon Engel

Scottsdale, Arizona

____________________________________

From: Dave Frey

Subject: Re: Music Burgeons

Hi Bob,

I that hope you’re well. Just got around to reading this one and wanted to share an opinion I agree with. When my son was 17-days old he was hospitalized for about a week with a stomach condition that was cured. He had an excellent doctor (Dr Lee) who was well versed in both Eastern and Western medicine and I learned he was also involved in early-human sensory development studies with the university. I got to know him and shared that there were some concerning challenges (at the time) with the rapid decline of bundled physical music products. He reassured me that music wasn’t going anywhere, ever. Though not scientifically proven his theory was that because sound is our first and oldest sense that there’s a tremendous amount of unconscious / subconscious activity connected to it. In his opinion sound is turned on in the womb at at 6-months because it’s also tied to balance and that babies are at a size where being upright is helpful. Not that many are consciously aware of it but music is a big memory trigger too. When I hear “Happy Together” I’m right back at Jarvis Street Beach, summer of 67 with Dick Biondi on WLS blasting out of every transistor radio. Good times. Dr Lee also said that research was proving there’s a core human connection to sound. Fore-instance a person can feel “at home” by sounds they may know little about. Like the sound of the LIRR instead of the El, robins instead of starlings, the wind off of Lake Michigan instead of the Mississippi, all that. Again, I hope that you’re well and keep up the good work.

All the best – Dave

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From: Robin Ruse-Rinehart

Subject: Jerry Moss

OK I’m outing my 20-something self as clueless but I love this story:  I was a film/TV production person until there were back to back strikes of actors and writers in the early ‘80s.  I was lucky to get a job as the receptionist at Irving Azoff’s Front Line Management, where one of my first tasks was to update the Rolodex (!).

I called A&M Records and innocently asked, “Is Jerry Moss still with your company?”.

The switchboard operator waited a beat and replied, “What do you think the ‘M’ stands for?”.

Pretty sure I was the best laugh on La Brea that day!

Robin 

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Subject: Re: The Kesha/Dr. Luke Story

As the music editor of The Times, I think it’s worth me pointing out to you and to your readers that this particular story is what we call a “subscriber exclusive,” which is a designation we often give to deeply reported, investigative stories. It’s true that these “subscriber exclusives” may attract less overall readers than stories that can be accessed more easily, but they also prompt new readers to become subscribers, which is why we package them that way. In fact, the Dr. Luke/Kesha story brought in more new subscribers to the LAT than any other story the paper published in the past 30 days, a testament to the great journalism of Harriet Ryan and Matt Hamilton.

Best,

Craig Marks

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Subject: The Ladder

Bob:

 

Overall, The Ladder was really good advice for artists with the exception of #6.

 

As a nobody ex-manager I am biased, but I have to stick up for all the young nobody managers you’re throwing under the bus with their clients.

 

Outside of being an artist, being a manager is the toughest gig in the business bar none.  

 

How did all the big managers get to where they are? It’s simple: they managed big artists.

 

For all the hard work that goes into managing, a lot of the success is luck—right artist at the right time.  

 

As a manager you can do all the right things and your clients don’t succeed.  An artist can have a manager who does a lot wrong and still have success.

 

Almost all of my former clients were managed somebodies before me, but those somebodies were not able to get the major label deals, publishing deals, tours, syncs, commercial radio play, press, and playlists that I got for my clients.  I stopped managing in 2018 before TikTok and other short form video platforms that power today’s marketing exploded, so I didn’t have experience with that.

 

If you’re an artist with a young nobody manager who is smart, resourceful, ambitious, has your best interest at heart and is moving your career forward, don’t fire them when the bigtime manager tries to poach you.  If your young nobody is all of the above, they’ll learn what they don’t know and make the connections they need to make to help your career.

 

In my time working for big management companies and managers before going out on my own, I saw many artists leave their nobodies with the thought that this somebody was going to make them a star like his or her other big clients.  In every case it didn’t happen.  At the first sign of trouble or a downturn in the artists’ careers, those somebodies checked out and eventually decided that the up-and-coming artists weren’t the right fit.

 

Also, there’s so much more to managing than making deals and marketing.  Anticipating and solving problems is a huge part of the job as is the psychology of working with creative and, many times, sensitive human beings—not to mention all the organizing and planning it takes to make sure all aspects of an artist’s career run smoothly.  Yes, experience helps with all of this, but it’s not a prerequisite for navigating these complexities successfully.

 

I will agree that not signing a contract with a nobody is good advice. I never had contracts with artists.  Some bigtime managers don’t either.  

 

If your manager is busting their ass for you and getting results, don’t leave because you think there’s greener grass on the other side.  You just might just find yourself in a drought.

 

Seth Keller
SKM ARTISTS

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Amen!

This has probably happened to you in some form or fashion, or probably a lot.

I’m at a gig or in public I’m hanging out with “Guy Dudenband” ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​whom I just met through a friend, he doesn’t know me from Joe schmoe, we’re talking about life, music, the Sox, just shooting the shit like new bros.

Then up comes drunken sceneguy ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​and he slobbers out “oh wow you met Dan, he is Mr booking guy he should book your band!”

And suddenly the conversation that was going so nicely turns into “what can you do for me we’ve played here and here and we really want to play ​​​​​​​​​​the house of blues can you get us that gig?”

And the other variation, the neighbor’s cousin who plays in a crappy cover band. “You should talk to Dan he works in the music business.”

All my close friends and circle are all under specific instructions to never tell anyone what I do without my permission.

Seriously.

When I meet someone new and they ask me what I do I tell them I work in the toy department or that I’m in logistical consulting until I sus out whether they have an uncle who plays in a band.

Dan Millen

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

I’ve been in sales for over 20 years. Early on the best piece of advice I was given was, “You were born with two ears and one mouth, use them proportionately.” So many salesmen talk themselves out of a deal because they can’t shut their mouths. All of these egomaniacs are like this in their private lives too and most of what they boast about isn’t even true.

Neil Johnson

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

Single biggest lesson I ever got in business was from an old school sales manager. He pinned a note to the inside of my blazer that simply said STFU. I learned to, over time, and it’s paid dividends ever since.

You got two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Listen twice as much as you speak.

Michael Leonard

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

This is spot on. I’ve tour managed some famous artists, and I can’t tell you how many times they were more engaged with the handful of people that were actually mindful and confident enough to steer the conversation in a direction other than their music. Their hobbies, their childhood, where they grew up, etc… that’s where the artist was engaged.

Do you know how we knew that conversation engaged the artist? Because the artist talked about those conversations once we left the venue and we’re on our bus to the next town. All the other conversations? Nobody remembers.

Trinidad Sanchez III

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

…a good ol’ country bus driver once told us…”if you gotta tell you are…ya’ ain’t”.

Mitchell Fox

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

Man, this one REALLY hit home. As a session musician in LA, it was always a delicate balancing act of trying to let people know you have some credit and credentials while also not looking like you’re name dropping. This is especially true when meeting someone above your pay grade, like a more established player, producer, manager, etc.

I learned this lesson even before I moved to LA when I sat next to the guitar player from my favorite band in the world at a wedding reception in upstate NY. In fact, I asked if the seat was taken before I sat down, so I got permission to join the table. Then, another fan came over and talked this guy’s ear off for 10 minutes, and he only left when the reception was starting. The guitarist looked exasperated, and I leaned over to him and asked him sympathetically “that’s got to happen to you a lot huh?”  He answered “Yeah” with a look that gave all the frustration of his emotions. “A lot!” He added.

Lesson learned. Even though I was a massive fan and was just about to move to LA, I didn’t speak a word about music to him. Only when it came up in conversation did I mention my plans. My discretion, and my date getting along with his wife, was the reason I left the reception with his home phone number…given to me unsolicited.

During my time in LA as a session player, I had perfected my “7 second elevator introduction”. If it was a musician above my station and I wanted to meet them cold, I’d walk up to them directly, look them in the eye, extend my hand and say “Hi ______. I’m Christopher Maloney. (Casually say) I’ve worked with (drop two good names here), and I just want to tell you that I like (say honest compliment about them).”

This did a few things. They knew I wasn’t just a fan and that I had SOME credibility, but then I immediately turned the attention to them and gave them a sincere compliment from a contemporary (or at least I’d hope they’d see it that way).  They’d always say thank you, and then I’d immediately ask a non-music question that could get a conversation started. I could tell by their response to this quick interaction whether or not they wanted to continue speaking to me. If so, cool. If not, I’d say “anyway, I just wanted to say a quick hi. I appreciate talking to you”.

It was the same whether I’d be cold calling managers to get on a tour, producers to record on a track or any other interaction.

This worked everyone except for meeting John Entwistle at NAMM.  He gripped my extended hand with one arm while simultaneously pulling me past him with his other. I didn’t even get my first name out before I was behind him and he was ten feet away. It was the coolest move I’d ever seen, though my friends that witnessed it never let me live it down.

Anyway, your advice was spot on!

-Christopher Maloney

www.practicewarriors.com

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Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

One time my band got to open for One Republic on tour. Ryan Tedder threw a BBQ in the parking lot after the second or third show. We were all a bit intimidated, being the baby band & first of three, but I mustered up the courage to ask him if he needed help with the grill. My brother is a chef, I told him. We talked about cheeseburgers for 30 minutes and it was delightful. Didn’t bring up music once.

Zac Taylor

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From: LEO MUNTER

Subject: Re: Don’t Boast

Bob- 

I remember when I was hanging with George Harrison and Ringo and we began talking about our mutual friend Bob Dylan.  George said, “Ya know, I was telling Eric (Clapton) just the other day that I always remember Bob’s advice to me.  Bob said, ‘No one likes a name dropper!'” 

Yes.  Bad look.  No one cares!!! 

Leo