You didn’t have to grow up in SoCal to get Van Halen, but it HELPS! Van Halen wasn’t a band that moved to L.A. to make it. They grew up here! I never went to one of the infamous Pasadena parties, but I did see their moniker outside Gazzarri’s, at the intersection of Crescent Heights and Santa Monica, atop the Starwood. Local bands don’t break through, they don’t graduate. They’re here forever and then they fade away. Not Van Halen. Their demos were produced by Gene Simmons. A crude take of "Runnin’ With The Devil" got a bit of airplay on Rodney’s show on KROQ, they opened for Nils Lofgren at the Santa Monica Civic and then they BLEW UP!

This was before MTV. This was before national anointment. Suddenly the first album was all over rock radio in L.A. Critics reluctantly gave them plaudits. It was time to pay attention. But the apotheosis wasn’t achieved until 1984, with "Jump". Suddenly Van Halen went from journeymen to SUPERSTARS! "1984" was the first Van Halen album I bought, I was finally caught up in the mania, and I heard it every night at the Rainbow that summer of 1984, when we’d venture down from the Sanctuary house to hang with the denizens of rock and roll, castaways like Richard Cole and stars like the Scorpions. Van Halen was the soundtrack of our lives. It was the pulse. "Jump" was the hit. "Hot For Teacher" had the legendary MTV video. But my favorite track was "I’ll Wait". Last Tuesday night they played "I’ll Wait".

I saw Dave with Sammy. He was positively awful. Off-key, unwatchable.

I saw Sammy with Eddie and Alex. He was the same shtickmeister he was solo. He showed no respect.

Years have proven that Eddie’s the difficult one. And his craziness has been on display for a decade, thanks to the Internet.

In other words, I was trepidatious.

BUT IT WAS 1984 ALL OVER AGAIN!

Really, the gig should have been at the Forum. That stinky old smoke-filled arena, where all the acts played in the seventies and eighties. Staples is too clean, too industrial. There are no notes, no monster riffs embedded in the walls. Until some thunderous sound causes a few skyboxes to fall, the building will still be considered the home of Britney, of ‘N Sync, but not of rock and roll. And Van Halen is positively rock and roll.

This was not the boomers. And this was not the youngsters. This was Generation X. The real Gen X’ers, now over forty, whose future was usurped by the baby boomers. Mostly guys. Who you could tell were not completely happy with their lives. They’re salesmen, or dentists. But at heart, they’re rock and rollers. These people had come to genuflect, to believe. If there was anything left to believe IN!

And, there most certainly was. Mr. Edward Van Halen.

Have you gone to an arena show recently? Have you seen the monster Hi-Def screens? Imagine Eddie’s guitar sixty feet long, his vein-bulging hands working the fretboard. This was the TRUE guitar hero. Remember when kids stayed in their rooms and practiced, hoping their skills would lead them on stage, to adoration and riches? That dream is gone. Today’s kids flick switches on a plastic axe attached to a video console. But Eddie had practiced. And this hard work, combined with innate talent, has resulted in a wizard, someone you fear is going to fall off his perch, but never does.

Yes, Eddie’s clean. He hasn’t worked out, he looks like he hasn’t eaten this year. He’s still smoking. But when he starts working his way up and down the neck, tapping away, you’re ECSTATIC!

They say the signature Van Halen song is "Eruption". And I agree the first album contains the legends, maybe because they were the beginning, maybe because they started it all, but for me it’s "Runnin’ With The Devil".

They played that. It was like being inside a giant car radio. How many times did you cruise the boulevard looking for action as the track poured out of the stereo in the dash?

And "Jamie’s Cryin’". She’s been in love before, and she knows it should be more than a one night stand!

But in the late seventies and early eighties there were a bunch of girls, both skinny and fat, tall and short, pretty and ugly, who were just DYING for a one night stand with ANY member of Van Halen. It was the humor, the exuberance, the FUN! You want to know why today’s fortysomethings wanted to be in this business? VAN HALEN!

They wanted to go on the road, stay up all night, get high and get their dicks sucked. And if you don’t believe this, if this offends you, then you just don’t understand rock and roll. Rock and roll is about cutting loose, riding in that convertible with the wind blowing your hair back, feeling like you’re SITTING ON TOP OF THE WORLD!

Not that David Lee Roth drove a convertible. As a matter of fact, he steered an Opel Kadett station wagon. Today’s kids don’t even know what that IS! I’ll tell you, it’s hipper than a Chevy, but still a piece of shit. You pick up your girlfriend, feeling every hair must be in place, your personality must be shined, because it’s all about you, your car is getting you NOWHERE!

Dave told the story from back then. Of playing in Pasadena with his buddies. Of driving to gigs in this minor machine. Of making out in it with his girlfriend of almost four years. He even told how he met her, at a party. Do you remember meeting your first girlfriend? Where is that story in today’s music?

It’s all bluster, it’s shoegazing, it’s too rarely honest. It doesn’t own its middle class roots, it kicks them to the curb. But that’s who we are, both Van Halen and us, middle class. Neither rich nor poor. Just members of the fabric.

"Ice Cream Man" was a highlight of the evening. Who knew David Lee Roth could play the guitar so well? And sing!

I don’t want to say every song worked. My absolute favorite, "And The Cradle Will Rock", was mixed improperly, it didn’t gel. And anything with keyboards on hard drive was curiously flat. But watching Van Halen, you believed again. Even though the songs were all old. This was us. Way back when. Today’s kids don’t get it. Oh, they want to get it. That’s why classic rock dominates, but they’ve got no experience of music ruling the world, of it being the most important thing in EVERYBODY’S universe, of the radio being a religion.

But the people at the Van Halen show remembered. And listening to their old buddies render their classics brought them back, to when their lives were full of possibility. Things may not have turned out so well, but to be able to hear this music, it was enough. Enough to get them through.

That’s what the music was. Sure, the money was good, but acts did it to get on the train. More literally, the bus. They wanted the lifestyle, the studios, the groupies, the aforementioned FUN!

Yes, rock and roll used to be fun.

It no longer is.

We’ve got crying executives. Steve Jobs is a bigger star than anybody debuting in the twenty first century. It’s not about the music, everything but.

But back when records spun on a Garrard, a B.I.C., a Technics if you were lucky. When you had a stereo as big as the ones sold by Judge Reinhold in "Ruthless People". You cranked it and your problems fell away, you felt powerful.

Last week at Staples those days returned, like a long dormant satellite reawakening and sending signals back to Earth.

Don’t go if you’re not a fan. This show is not for you.

But if you remember the power of an electric guitar. If you don’t listen at any volume less than 11. If you think rock and roll can save your soul… THEN BUY A TICKET!

Hi Bob-

Please withhold my name if you decide to use this…

Some of my friends were shocked after reading this article, but I’m not surprised in the least bit.  I had the "privilege" of being able to spend a few years working for a major label, and Mr Morris is just like everyone else at the top.  I think everyone either knew it was happening and chose to flat out ignore it (pretend it wasn’t happening), or everyone was so out of touch that nothing could ever get going in the right direction.

I honestly think a really big part of the problem was/is the hierarchy:

1) People at the very top – they’re so out of touch, they don’t even show up at the office…they’re out somewhere having their assistant (who easily gets paid 6 figures) go to the local stores around town to buy them socks.  I absolutely kid you not…this happens all the time – and that’s their job…nothing music related at all, basically a nanny job and/or housekeeper.  They’ll show up to meetings to get everyone who’s one rung below them and their input…make the final decision, and then hop a cab back to their Park Ave high rise.

2) People directly under the top – these people have a little more of an idea what’s going on, but have to please the big cheeses in order to keep their jobs.  They don’t have the guts to tell Clive or any of those guys what’s really going on.  Oh, they’ll "brief" all the ringleaders on things – and that’s why those guys at the top are saying all the "buzz" words (filesharing/p2p/etc) for the past five years and literally don’t even know what that means.

Oh, and these people want Clive’s job once he dies…can’t piss him off. Or maybe they don’t want his job.  Or maybe they know they have to get out of the music biz, but don’t know how to function outside of it (because they’ve been working there for 20+ years). Oh, and they like their salary and like hanging with rock stars.

3) The people under the people under the top – these people are right in the middle.  They’ve made it to that spot where they’re FINALLY making at least a decent living and can afford to move to Manhattan instead of living in Brooklyn or Queens.  But now that they’ve finally got there…they’re too "preoccupied" with their new mortgages and their "big shot" spots that they don’t have any time to think about anything even remotely involved with the actual music business.

They’ve got someone above them squeezing their balls at any moment, and need more than anything to make those people happy.  They finally have people below them (the newbies), and kiss ass to everyone above them and piss on everyone below them.  Even though I’ve met some really cool people in these positions, it’s for the most part true. They’re tremendously overworked being in that initial management spot, and are extremely stressed out trying to make everyone above them happy. They finally have their own office.  But they’re content with their salaries and like hanging with rock stars.  More below…

4) The people at the bottom – These are the people who are (or should I now say, were), the only hope for major labels.  They actually had a clue as to what was happening on the street, and were in tune to EVERYTHING technologically related that was out there.  These were the people who knew you could get this new .mp3 format over mIRC or various other services before Napster was even around in 1997 or so. They were the people who knew about the hottest bands before anyone else at the label did (even though the people on top would take all the credit).  They were the people who could have reinvented the way major labels were run and probably had more answers than anyone at the top could ever have dreamed of.  Most of all, they KNEW what people want and need.

But where are they now???  They’re all unemployed.  They were laid off by the labels and thrown on the streets because of mergers/downsizing. Now they’re working in different industries, reminiscing about what could have been. They absolutely LOATHED their salaries (paying them dirt, and working them to the nub), hated that they didn’t even have a cubicle, but rather a desk that was falling apart covered in band stickers (most of which, the label had dropped over the years). But they loved getting free CD’s and going to live shows 5 times a week – even though they were dead tired after working a 70 hour week or so.

I was one of these people Bob, but I didn’t care how much money I made.  I lived in a 6×6 shit apartment in a crappy part of Queens, had to literally live on Ramen to get by, and could barely afford the monthly subway transit card.  I actually figured out I could literally make more money working at Quiznos than what I got paid at the label…I kid you not.

But you know what?  I did it…and I worked harder than I ever did before.  AND WHY?? Because I love music that much.  I BELIEVED in the bands I was working with.  I’m sure most of the high-and-mighty people above started for that reason as well…but it seems like something got lost along the way, for the most part. They don’t care about the new bands…they could give a shit – but they have their numerous platinum records on the wall and a picture of them with Aerosmith or  whatever, and reminisce about the good ole days. And all the meanwhile, they’re still too used to that lifestyle, and didn’t want to see it go away with new technology.  After all, the model works right???? We can still sell records, right??? Just gotta get more 2×2 posters to the FYE out in Cranston – THEN we’ll sell millions of records.

To sum it up…here’s a relatively quick rundown of my everyday encounter with the "hierarchy":

*Big artist is coming into Philly – and we find out he/she will be going around to the record stores in the area.  The following happens:

*President of label has no idea.  He’s getting his assistant to buy socks

*VP knows…hands it down

*Regional Manager freaks out because there’s not enough time…wants to please VP more than anything.  Yells at assistant to make a plastic header card in two minutes to send overnight air to Philly.  Total cost around $15 or so for a stupid plastic card that weighs nothing.

*Assistant busts ass to get it done because they don’t want to get fired.  Knows it’s absolutely pointless, but does it anyway and works hard.  Barely gets it shipped off by 5pm that day.  Regional Manager isn’t grateful, but is happy to get VP off their back.  VP assumes everything is fine and doesn’t want that artist to yell at them when he/she sees them at MSG the following week.

*Header card gets to the store – artists apparently "sees" it and doesn’t like the "color" or something arbitrary.  Word gets back to the VP – who passes down to RM – who passes down to assistant to get pissed on because it’s all their fault.

ALL IN ALL – no additional CD’s were sold at that store.  And turns out nothing even makes that artist happy anyway.  I don’t even want to THINK about how much money the company paid in company time and resources to get that stupid card out to Philly to please an artist.

Sound ridiculous, Bob?  Well, I spoke my mind about it to the higher-ups…basically wrote myself a one way ticket to Dodge City – so to speak.  That’s probably the reason I don’t work in the music biz anymore.

Universal Music CEO Doug Morris Speaks,
Recording Industry in Even Deeper Shit Than We Thought

Why is it downloadable books cost less than half the retail price and Universal’s pissed that they can’t RAISE the prices at the iTunes Music Store?

Do you know anything about the book business? A bunch of self-important liberal arts majors clueless in business selling their books in an antiquated way. You want to know about tour support? Then check out an author trip/itinerary. If they even pay, the publisher doesn’t know how to book gigs or route you. And the money involved is PEANUTS!

The value of a great book? Every bit as high as that of a great record. But somehow publishers are willing to let Amazon sell FIRST RUN BOOKS, the "New York Times" best-seller list, HARD COVERS, for $10, and older titles for $3 to $6…hell, some as low as $1.99!

How come Amazon is seen as a friend, and Apple is seen as the enemy?

Indie bookstores are failing at the rate of indie record stores. The publishers need a solution. They’re not holding back, 90,000 titles are available for the Kindle. They want people to READ!

There’s no manufacturing, no shipping… Kinda sounds like the music business, doesn’t it? THEN WHY SHOULD THE PRICE OF DIGITAL MUSIC GO UP?

Fuck Doug Morris and his cartel. They’re so out of touch, they’re probably jetting away to St. Barts for Thanksgiving. They don’t want to associate with the little people.

But it’s the little people who pay your bills.

Amazon doesn’t make you buy a bucket of books. There’s no album. As for Jermaine Dupri’s comment about chapters… Hell, go online, you can read chapters for free! Some GIVE AWAY THE ENTIRE BOOK ONLINE! Yup, if you want the inferior e-book, be my guest, read it as a PDF. You want the real thing, you pay for it. If CDs are so fucking great, maybe the record industry should adopt this same philosophy!

Oh, don’t tell me variable pricing is about lowering pricing. Yup, on Vanilla Ice. No, not even Vanilla Ice. On that teen rapper Irving put out on Giant. Shit, I can’t even remember her name. You’ll be able to buy her tracks for 79 cents. The tracks of those you’ve never heard of. Want rappers’ tracks? You’re gonna PAY!

And that’s just what people are not doing with Jay-Z. Did you see the drop on "American Gangster"? 69%. To number 8. From 424,959 to 131,000. Looks like he should have sold his tracks on iTunes. Looks like Apple won this round.

I don’t know if the Kindle is the answer. But some kind of electronic book reader is gonna succeed in the future. And chances are, just like in the music world, one company will dominate. Just like on the Web. It’s not like brick and mortar, EVERY STORE is local online. You only need one bookstore online, just ask Borders and Barnes & Noble!

Right now iTunes is it. Doug Morris is trying to enable Amazon by selling DRM-free MP3s, to teach Apple a lesson. What lesson is this? That old fart record execs can shoot themselves in the foot? That they’re clueless regarding the digital age? That they’d rather lose their business as long as they can maintain the illusion of power?

The people get it. Costs with digital are cheaper. The only people who don’t get it are the manufacturers/producers. In the old days, they controlled the media, people only knew what they wanted them to. But now EVERYBODY knows acts make almost nothing on the iTunes Store. Why didn’t Jermaine Dupri talk about THAT?

It’s the labels who are removing the value from recorded music. By trying to maintain the CD model. That paradigm is broken, dead. It’s time to try something new. Getting more people to listen to more music, by charging everybody a little bit.

When the BOOK business is leading the charge, you know you’re in trouble…