I want you to listen to Fred Armisen on Alec Baldwin’s “Here’s The Thing” podcast. Because he talks about giving up.

Sometimes you’ve got to do that.

Fred was in a band called Trenchmouth. With his buddies. For ten years. They toured not only the U.S., but Europe. With no roadies, lugging their own equipment up stairs, sleeping on floors. And Fred loved every minute of it.

Then he saw a forty year old drummer doing the same and he said “I don’t want to be that guy.”

There’s a fallacy that if you just work hard and long enough, you’ll make it. People heard about the 10,000 hours but didn’t bother to read Gladwell’s book. There are other factors, like timing.

I know this myself. I was frustrated with my reach and then all of a sudden the Internet blew up and I could reach people around the world for free! Before that… Positively desultory.

But even if the timing is bad, maybe you’re just not good enough. It’s hard to accept, but it could be true. Instead of slogging it out, maybe you should move on, consider music a hobby. Fred still plays his drums, just not professionally.

And there’s always a story behind the story, it’s never as seamless as these successes portray it. But Fred started filming bands (videotaping, before the YouTube era) at SXSW about their careers, using funny voices, and he built an audience for his productions. He went on tour with them. After playing with the Blue Man Group in Chicago for two years. Sure, that was drudgery, but he got paid and he learned so many things. Like the audience is there to be entertained.

And then, Fred moved to L.A. And he made friends.

That’s how you make it in the music business. On both sides of the fence, businessman and player, via friends.

And now he’s on SNL and “Portlandia.”

And none of that would have happened if he continued to believe he must be a musician, that it was his only option, banging his head against the wall as his audience aged and he starved.

You can play. You can be a fan. Not everyone has to be a professional. Not everyone is gonna make it.

Fred dreamed of being as successful as the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

It never happened.

Fred Armisen on “Here’s The Thing”

In retrospect the debut is the best.

But this live album is my favorite. My favorite live album of all time, hell, I’ve listened to it enough!

The debut got traction. Especially with “Modern Day Cowboy”… That’s on the live album too, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

You want to listen to “EZ Come EZ Go” and “Gettin’ Better” and “Little Suzi” and “Cumin’ Atcha Live.” But mostly I didn’t. I didn’t get hooked until the second album, the vastly uneven “The Great Radio Controversy.”

By 1989 CD players were de rigueur. And finally, we could program our favorite cuts. Want to know what killed the album? Not Napster, but the CD. You could listen to just the single, just your favorites, and there was no second side to give the CD bite. An hour plus of material was oftentimes impenetrable. At least in the days of vinyl you knew the second side opener was a killer, and the last cut on each side. They counted. What counted on a CD other than the opening cut? Which is why you should always put your best cut first, people may not get any further. Album sequencing? Best to worst, it’s just that simple. Then again, we won’t have albums to kick around that much longer…ha!

Anyway, there are three killer cuts on “The Great Radio Controversy,” “Lazy Days, Crazy Nights,” “The Way It Is” and “Love Song.” Oh, eventually I came to love “Heaven’s Trail (No Way Out)” and “Paradise,” knowing them from the live album, and I’ll admit “Party’s Over” is a good closer, but there was a period in 1989 when I’d play the first three tracks in a loop, on repeat…FOREVER!

Let’s start with “Lazy Days, Crazy Nights.” It’s the sound, the intro, like they’re building a spaceship to Mars. The first note makes you want to sign up. To this heavy excursion, piloted by the production team of Michael Barbiero, a disco expert!, and Steve Thompson.

But I love those lazy and crazy nights
It’s my way, it’s my life

EXACTLY! If you know me, you know I’m a night owl. I’d stay up all night every night if I could. I love it when the sun goes down, the world is my own, people stop calling, e-mailing and texting, even if I never leave the house I’m on my own mental adventure.

But my favorite of the three, my favorite song on “The Great Radio Controversy,” is “The Way It Is.”

Even though we could never seem to work things out
I still love you just the same
I miss your smile and that sparkle in your eyes
You’re so beautiful, never change

That’s exactly how I felt. It takes a long time to let go after they move out. You’re angry, but you’re still connected. Over time, you feel warmer towards them, but at first you’re in shock.

But what I love most about this verse is the way the song goes quiet, Jeff Keith is almost singing sotto voce, it’s private, intimate…and for that reason intense.

And there’s a great solo too!

And then comes the piece de resistance, “Love Song.”

On “The Great Radio Controversy” there’s a seemingly endless instrumental intro, which works perfectly because it sets the song up… After a minute, the music changes, it’s like the sun is rising and…

So you think that it’s over
That your love has finally reached the end
Any time you call, night or day
I’ll be right there for you, if you need a friend

That’s what you need when you’re at loose ends, friends. Hopefully you didn’t abandon yours when you got involved with your significant other, because loneliness kills.

But it’s not forever.

That’s the point of the chorus…

Love is all around you
Love is knockin’ outside your door
Waitin’ for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you’ll find love again, I know

Yup, you’ll lick your wounds and recover. Realize that’s what everybody’s looking for, connection. You’ll get into a conversation and your heart will smile as well as your lips and you’ll be in heaven. You’ve just got to hang in there.

And then the song explodes, the guitar wails…

And that’s exactly what happened, “Love Song” exploded. Through a special effects video banged on MTV of a live show, you see the girl on the guy’s shoulders and you just feel good all over. Hell, you know the power of music!

And then came “Five Man Acoustical Jam.”

It was Queenie Taylor’s idea. A promoter, who booked Slim’s. She saw Tesla perform acoustically at the Bammies, she asked them to do so at a club. That’s how greatness occurs, via happy accidents, often incited by another.

And you roll up that catalog and a few covers into a live show and you’ve got an album so infectious that you’ve got to get the DVD just to see it, to join in on the fun.

It’s more than the songs, it’s the narration, the offhand comments, you truly feel like you’re there…

It begins with “Comin’ Atcha Live,” which has a totally different feel than the studio take on “Mechanical Resonance,” it’s like walking into a biker bar with country musicians pickin’ and grinnin’ and swilling beer and your body shakes and you smile and you feel like the world is your oyster.

I’m a mean machine, I’m the kind you don’t wanna meet
My middle name is trouble, I’m a danger in the street

Acoustically this loses the edge and only the rebellion remains. The essence of rock and roll.

And “Comin’ Atcha Live” merges into “Truckin’,” a take any Deadhead would love if they could realize we share so many of the same roots, hard rockers and jam band fans.

And the second number is “Heaven’s Trail (No Way Out),” which sounds like everybody in the club put on their boots and went out hiking into the wilderness, leaving civilization behind.

You know there’s nothin’ like the real world to get me down
There’s nothin’ like the world outside that turns me upside down

This is the essence of hard rock, of metal, the alienation. But it takes a new twist on “Five Man Acoustical Jam,” because that’s what it is…ACOUSTICAL! The songs gain colors and subtleties they never had in their hard rock incarnations.

And then come the hits. For me anyway!

Yup, a live rendition of “The Way It Is” that makes you want to buy a guitar and practice just to play this. The vocal is imperfect, but isn’t life? On the studio take the instrumentation takes away from the meaning of the lyrics. Here, the words shine. I sing them in my head all the time.

Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talkin’ till I can’t go on

Yup, that’s right, WE CAN WORK IT OUT! One of those magical Beatle numbers that make our hearts swoon. This is what we did, play these songs in a circle in the sixties, but now they were doing the same twenty five years later.

And then came the hit. A cover of the Five Man Electrical Band’s “Signs.”

Who even remembered this song? I mean it was carved into my DNA, but I thought I was alone, but it turned out this band from Sacramento much younger than me knew it too. And it’s done half-seriously, half-jokingly, and as a result lightning is trapped in a bottle and a hit is born. Yup, a live cut riddled with imperfections broke through. Because it contains the essence of a hit… MAGIC!

And you’ve got to hear “Lodi” and “Mother’s Little Helper” but don’t miss “Love Song” and “Modern Day Cowboy,” which takes on a greater darkness played acoustically. Sometimes you strip things down, get quiet, and songs take on even more meaning.

But really, you’ll love every minute of “Five Man Acoustical Jam.”

Or you won’t.

You see we used to all listen to everything. Until rap, when a segment of the audience peeled off. Just after hard rock/metal separated from the mainstream.

And I never hear anybody talk about this album anymore, never mind this group. But I kept a cassette in my glovebox for fifteen years, just in case I needed a hit, a CD is within arm’s reach.

And just like Cheap Trick, the band’s career was derailed by a huge live album. “Psychotic Supper” has got the positively brilliant “What You Give” with the dynamics of a Led Zeppelin track, but the rest of the record was uneven and after such a huge commercial success, it was hard to get everybody’s attention focused once again.

Yup, too much success can hurt. Just ask Alanis Morissette!

But this was before “Jagged Little Pill.” Even before “Nevermind.”

I feel so lonely, yet I know I’m not the only one
To ever feel this way

That’s what it says in “What You Give.” And ain’t that the truth.

And that’s one reason we have music, to fill up the space, to eradicate the loneliness.

And that’s exactly what “Five Man Acoustical Jam” does. Squeeze out all the bad feelings and replace them with an exuberance that makes you live in the moment and anticipate greatness in the future. And the great thing is it’s there whenever you need it, ready to be played, to lift you right up.

Rhinofy-Five Man Acoustical Jam

Previous Rhinofy playlists

Musician on musician hate. With a dose of jealousy thrown in.

In case you don’t live on the Interwebs, many players are shocked that Amanda Palmer is giving them a chance to play for free. Well, not completely, there’s beer and hugs and audience enjoyment too.

They believe she should pay.

Because she raised a million dollars on Kickstarter and they didn’t!

Line up the most successful musicians and you’ve got a slew of players who absolutely despise them, because said musicians made it and they didn’t. That musician performed oral sex, their daddy paid, they elbowed out a better player. God, if these people just stopped complaining and put their nose to the grindstone…

They still might not make it.

These same people, especially the non-musicians weighing in, because the Internet is all about piling on, who beg for internships in the music business.

I’m gonna make it very simple. You don’t have to!

Many people would salivate at the chance to play with Ms. Palmer. Well, not many people. She’s not Paul McCartney, she’s certainly not Bob Dylan. But a few.

You see Ms. Palmer is running a club, a gang, she’s trying to do it new school, and everybody who believes music should not be free and CDs should rule are using her as a scapegoat.

Amanda ankled her major label deal, she makes money on Twitter, she uses the new technologies to both reach people and profit and they don’t like it. They could join in, but then they might fail, and they wouldn’t be able to sit at home at bitch.

And these players are the same ones decrying drum machines and synthesizers and every modern innovation that cost a single musician a job. If we had these people rule, we’d truly live in an “Atlas Shrugged” world. One where there’s no innovation and the masses are a step behind.

Kind of like all those people bitching Apple changed the connector. Mm… Let me see. Isn’t that what killed Microsoft, the refusal to leave legacy computers in the dust? By making everything backwards-compatible, Microsoft missed out on the future.

And yes, people are beating up the iPhone 5. Claiming it’s not innovative enough, kind of like BMW switching to all electric vehicles which fly, damn profitability.

But that’s the public. Hating on corporations.

And hating on politicians is de rigueur.

But hating on artists?

Well, that happens too.

But when artists themselves start hating on artists you lose the plot. Artists should have solidarity. And know that the future is inevitable. You might not like it, but it’s coming.

Now in retrospect, Amanda Palmer made a PR mistake. She should have seen this coming. But does that mean she shouldn’t have done it?

That’s when the musicians really complain. When you rest on your laurels, when you take no chances, when you give them exactly what they want.

The public doesn’t know what it wants. So the greatest artists go in search of their own truth.

I’ve seen Amanda Palmer live. If you think the additional free players are performing at Philharmonic levels, you’re sorely mistaken. It’s about a one time event, a happening. Hell, isn’t that what we used to love about concerts? Before they were all done by rote, performed to hard drive?

I’m not saying I would make the same choice.

And I’m not telling you to do so.

But I will say Amanda Palmer is trying.

And I will say, with trying, comes mistakes. Not that this is one of them, but that’s the nature of trying new things, failing.
She’s willing to do this, are you?

WANTED: HORN-Y AND STRING-Y VOLUNTEERS FOR THE GRAND THEFT ORCHESTRA TOUR!!!!

Apple Special Event September 12, 2012

It went on too long, they showed Al Gore too much, Foo Fighters overstayed their welcome in a venue in which they were far from appropriate.

But Apple knocked it out of the park.

You see it’s a band. Kind of like Van Halen or Genesis. Wherein the indispensable frontman departs, yet the act soldiers on to even greater commercial heights.

Let’s start with Eddie Van Halen. What is he known for? His fashion sense? His commercial endorsements? His love life? No, Eddie Van Halen is known for his guitar-playing! What a concept.

Yup, that’s one thing that’s wrong with the music business.

The music comes last.

Oh, there’s a lot of lip service paid to the sound. But the real story is everyone involved, from player to manager to label head, is looking to tie in with the Fortune 500 and TV in order to get ever richer. Music is just a means, it’s no longer the end.

And the public knows.

Watch this video. What will strike you is there are no ties. Nobody putting on a faux front. Just like with the music of yore, it’s what’s inside that counts. What’s inside your brain. Whereas music has become about the trappings, not only clothing but fragrances. All sold by hucksters. Yup, music is the land of Barnum, tech is a haven of substance.

This is the way it used to be in music. From Clapton to the Allman Brothers, you wore the same clothes on stage as off. Because it was the music that mattered.

Like a great band, Apple was formed at a very young age. And like a truly great band, the players are not interchangeable, they grow, we come to know them. Careers? Those are history in the music business. Hell, if you had a career would you be a judge on a TV show? Just ask Christina Aguilera, her last album was toast. As for Jennifer Lopez scoring a hit single after appearing on “Idol,” I must use that classic entertainment refrain…what have you done for us lately?

Nothing.

Because there’s nothing there.

A great band has a string of past hits, but continues to create new ones. If you’re not impressed with the iPhone 5, its display and manufacture, never mind features, you’re a PC lover who refuses to get on the Apple bandwagon. Yes, there were people who hated the Beatles too. Did they win? Of course not!

And it’s all lorded over by Tim Cook. Who’s growing into the role. He’s no longer stiff, he’s comfortable in his skin…well, at least until he endlessly introduced Foo Fighters. Hell, you’d have expected John Lennon to appear, back from the dead.

And although he refuses to publicly come out of the closet, Tim Cook is gay. Do you see Rush Limbaugh protesting Apple? No, he embraces the company. Because you just cannot pooh-pooh greatness, you’re drawn to it.

You see Apple has a culture. Where it’s all about excellence and there’s no shame in being commercial. Yup, that’s true success, when you can sustain a high level of artistry and still reach a ton of people. Maybe if no one’s paying attention you’re doing it wrong?

I’m a little flummoxed that Apple used to be a leader and is now a follower in music. Streaming is the future. Apple could bring us there. Maybe, like with CD burners and jukebox software, they’ll be late to the party and reinvent the paradigm, but it’s a shame that they show no social responsibility in this area. Then again, you need rights and the rightsholders heinously require a pound of flesh to innovate…which is one of the reasons why music is a second class citizen once again.

Watch the gaming demos. I never game, but when I saw the rearview mirrors were live in the EA racing app, I was stunned. The same way I was when I first heard “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” or “Gimmie Shelter.” So rarely does music stun anymore. It’s created by low level provocateurs who barely have any pubic hair who are here today and gone tomorrow. Hell, you can trumpet Justin Bieber’s financial success, but is there anybody in the world giving him credit for doing great musical work, for pushing the envelope, for wowing us?

Of course not.

The cycle is complete. Tech is the new rock and roll. And it got there by putting in a hell of a lot of hard work when no one was listening or watching, all in the service of excellence, all for you, the customer.

That’s how far we’ve come. To the point where most kids believe a musical act is something developed on TV created by old men which is only good for bumping your ass on the dance floor.

Hm… Think about that.