The International

I don’t know how this thing works, BUT BOY DOES IT SOUND GOOD!

Remember 1976…

Scratch that, you probably weren’t even alive back then. But not only was it the bicentennial year, the preoccupation of young males was the stereo shop. Saturday afternoons, nights alone with your magazines, you’d contemplate all the stereo gear you were gonna buy, TO GET CLOSER TO THE MUSIC!

Oh, I know, you’re a hipster, you’ve got those giant headphones, you want to show everybody…that the music you listen to sounds TERRIBLE!

Yup, if Jimmy Iovine were truly interested in sound, not only money, he’d introduce a line of headphone amplifiers, to show people what they’re TRULY missing!

Plug in the International and your jaw will drop… That’s how lousy MP3s sound, even your CDs, because with an International and a pair of decent headphones you’re so close to the music it’s like you’re on stage.

The International… What exactly is it?

It’s a headphone amp, with a built-in DAC, i.e. digital to analog converter.

And you don’t need a fancy home stereo, works just fine with your computer, it bypasses all the substandard insides and just pumps quality into your ears, assuming your source is that good.

But it comes with almost no documentation. It assumes you’re a tweak, that you haunt the boards and know exactly what you’re buying. And it’s not impossible to figure out, but… DOES USB POWER IT OR JUST DELIVER THE SOUND?

Yup, I plugged the thing into my Mac Pro (I mention that, because it’s got the USB jacks right up front, convenient, that’s one of the reasons I bought it) and when I turn it on, it immediately bypasses the system settings, it selects itself, and then…music starts to flow.

Well, that’s not what happened today. Today I could get no juice.

And after being flummoxed, completely nonplussed, figuring the thing was fried, having driven the big Sennheiser 800s with it last night, I decided to plug it in via the 12 volt adapter, AND THE LIGHT CAME ON!

And it worked for a minute in my computer thereafter, really, just a minute, and then the sound popped back to the speakers.

So I just plugged the juice back in and…

THE SOUND COMING INTO MY EARS IS TRULY WONDROUS! If you were here right now and you put the headphones on you’d be smiling like you were eating watermelon and eating ice cream and having sex all at the same time!

So I listened to some MP3s, and then I broke out some CDs…

Like Bonnie Raitt’s “Luck Of The Draw,” her best, engineered by my bud Ed Cherney. It was all wood, there was nothing slick and shiny about it, the sound was positively warm, it sounded HUMAN!

Who do we want to blame…radio, artists, mastering engineers? Even if you pay for the disc, it usually sounds like crap. I know, I tried many. But then there are the exceptions…

But truly, your MP3s will sound better than ever before, you won’t believe that what is entering your ears is MUSIC!

You remember music, that thing made by people with real instruments that reflects what they feel inside, not that processed junk that makes your ears bleed?

Oh, I’m not saying it’s got to be acoustic to sound good, but I will say digital has done a disservice to acoustic music, real music, it just doesn’t sound good…

As for all you vinyl jerks (e-mail me, tell me, I’ve still got all my vinyl, more than you’ll ever own), you want to hear something great as opposed to trying to look hip, purchase one of these little boxes, the size of a pack of cigarettes, then EVERYTHING you own will sound good, not just the overpriced vinyl you buy at the disappearing record store.

1. The International does come with a small card with rudimentary instructions, but I’ve still got so many questions, not only re power (did it come with the battery half charged and I ran it down or…), but what devices you can use it with, how much gain to employ (it’s adjustable) and… Why does everything have to come without instructions these days, I know most people don’t read them, but I do, because not only do I want to do it right, I want to eke every ounce of performance out of everything I buy. Hell, I read the “Missing Manual” for every new iteration of Mac OS X, to learn tips and tricks I guarantee you’re clueless about… Did you put the little mail icon at the top of the Safari window, so you can click it and e-mail any page to anybody? There!

2. I’m listening to Keith Urban’s “Who Wouldn’t Wanna Be Me.” It’s hard to describe, but I’ll try. I can hear the guitarist picking the notes, It’s almost like my eyes and ears are two inches away. And the banjo, it sounds like it’s two feet away, it sounds positively like MUSIC!

3. Wanna know one of the best sounding albums of all time? Elton John’s American debut, you know, the one with the black cover, that preceded “Tumbleweed Connection.” It sounds like it was cut in a cathedral… Just listen to “The King Must Die” or “Sixty Years On” in any iteration, MP3 original CD or remastered take. It’s a religious experience!

4. Do you know “Blue Of Your Backdrop” by Honk, from the soundtrack to the greatest surfing movie ever made, “Five Summer Stories”? Well, listening to it via the International it’s like you’re at Waimea or Pipeline or down on the shore at Huntington, it truly takes you away, you’re truly there.

5. This thing is not cheap, it’s $599. But that’s one third the price of a starter stereo of any quality in the seventies. As for headphones…the better the better, but truly you only need something in the two hundred dollar plus range to blow your mind.

I could listen to this thing all night… Hell, that’s what I did yesterday!

Leave them all to the trappings they choose
Values on what one may win or lose
I can’t discern between the two
But with no God above
Guess we all start with the things we love

And I love music.

And you do too.

And in this crazy world where gays can marry but it’s difficult for the underprivileged to vote, what’s there to do but put on a record, turn it up and drift away…

“Weddings Used To Be Sacred And Other Lessons About Internet Journalism” by Sean Parker

He’s right, but he’s wrong.

Is the blogosphere, the online “news” world, more interested in clicks than facts?

YOU BET!

Is this a problem?

OF COURSE!

But to hear a billionaire whine on for 9500 words that he’s been misunderstood is like Mussolini taking to the telegraph to say the Allies have it wrong.

Huh?

You’re rich, you’re famous, get over yourself!

This isn’t how the bluebloods did it. They didn’t want their name in the paper. They didn’t buy Ferraris, but Fords, they wanted no attention. But today’s suddenly rich want all the perks and the adulation and they’re suddenly surprised when those they want the accolades from turn against them?

This isn’t a story about the press, this is a story about INCOME INEQUALITY!

Would I like a wedding in the redwoods? Hell, I’ve had dinner at Ventana, thirty-odd years ago, before most of these tech titans were even born. And I couldn’t afford a room there then and I can’t afford a room there now and I’m not bitching about it, I’ve chosen my path, but when those who won the financial lottery complain that they’re misunderstood, all I can say is BOO HOO!

Did the press get its facts wrong? Did blogs jump on the story in a dash for both eyeballs and the resultant advertising cash?

YUP!

But what has Sean Parker done to raise the pay of teachers, to lift up those less fortunate than he?

Oh, I get it. He made it, so everybody else can march in his footsteps. But what if you grew up with not only an uninvolved parent, but no computer, how easy would it be to create Napster then?

Where’s the social responsibility of these Silicon Valley wankers? Good that he donated to save the redwoods, but how about saving the people? Remember, that’s what George Carlin said…Save the planet? Save YOURSELF! The planet’s been around forever, it’ll survive, it’s you we’re not sure of…)

But Carlin wasn’t a billionaire. In the seventies he was a voice of reason, by the twenty first century he was just “content” so some overpaid schmuck at HBO could make millions. Come on, without the talent, what is HBO worth? ZERO!

This is not about file-sharing, this is not about the new economy. I’m all for the future, and there will be winners and losers, that’s how life is, as opposed to those car dealers trying to pass laws preventing Tesla’s direct sales model.

But somehow we’ve put the emphasis on all the wrong people.

I don’t care about Sean Parker’s wedding. And one thing he’s got right, if he weren’t a billionaire, it would have gotten no attention. But that’s the crime of today’s society, not bad press, but worship of money and the people who make it. Kim Kardashian is an icon because she’s rich, not because she’s got anything to say. Not because she’s saving the redwoods or the whales or anybody or anything other than herself.

The greater good?

Screw that, I WANT MINE!

Give Bill Gates credit. He’s giving away his money, he’s trying to save the world.

But he’s older than the Internet winners. Who believe just because they’re rich that they’re better than the rest of us, smarter, better-intentioned, all around winners.

That’s complete b.s.

Or as Bob Dylan so eloquently sang:

Now each of us has his own special gift
And you know this was meant to be true
And if you don’t underestimate me
I won’t underestimate you

The only gift worth recognizing is not someone’s bank account. The whole damn nation has to get over this, it’s the essence of the problem. All that crap about I’m working hard and you’re not. Ever try to survive on welfare? If you think that’s rich, then you’re not.

People shine in so many ways.

But now our whole country is skewed. If you get an arts degree at the university you’re laughed at. Our whole nation has gone practical. Can you tell me where practical fits in with Bob Dylan or Alice Cooper or Joni Mitchell or even Sofia Coppola?

What are you gonna do with all that money? The movies have been ruined by sheer greed, the best and the brightest do not go into the arts, our whole society is headed straight for the cultural dumpster.

And what we’ve got here is a rich donut complaining he’s misunderstood.

Hey Sean!

Every damn day people e-mail and tweet that I’m a jerk, much worse than that, I’ve survived, I’m sure you can. It goes with the territory. You’re fortunate. If the worst thing that happens is you’re misunderstood, you’re lucky. Try getting sick with no health insurance, get back to me after that.

So yes, I love that the Internet allows Mr. Parker to respond, to set the record straight.

But how could he get it so wrong? How could he have no perspective? How could he not see that the ability to have this wedding is the problem, not whether it was or was not on federal land and affected the environment. If you think the poor are dumb and are unaffected by the privileged, holier-than-thou, antics of the rich, you’re positively wrong.

Or to paraphrase Judas Priest…

You’ve got another think coming.

Note 1: That Dylan quote is from “Dear Landlord,” from “John Wesley Harding.

Note 2: You can read the original George Carlin transcript here:

George Carlin – The Planet Is Fine

But you can’t watch the video, HBO’s blocked that, not that it’s available anywhere else…

Yes, the Eagles are now on Spotify, or as Don Henley prefers it to be said…Eagles are now on Spotify, which puts them ahead of the Beatles and AC/DC and everybody else who believes they can hold back the future, who is angry at Spotify while all their tracks are being streamed on YouTube. And in honor of their appearance, I’m going to highlight some semi-obscure tracks. Then again, there are really no obscure Eagles tracks, since there were so few albums and they were all of such high quality. However, classic rock radio doesn’t go deep, and if you were not alive in the seventies and never bought the albums, here’s some stuff you might have missed, which you should know.

EARLYBIRD

Written by Bernie Leadon and Randy Meisner, two people who haven’t been there for the long run, we didn’t know back then, when the initial album was released, that it was Glenn and Don’s band, we heard the single, bought the album and played it, unlike today, when even if you buy the LP, it’s still all about the track.

What makes the track is the picking, the banjo, the country element Bernie brought to the band. Still, there’s some grit, the guitar that enters about a minute into the track. And let’s not forget the harmonies, Crosby, Stills & Nash pioneered this sound, but the Eagles could do it live, not that we knew it at this point…

This is the album experience. I’ve never heard “Earlybird” on the radio, but in my college dorm room, it was a staple. Yes, there were Top Forty charts, but most everybody was listening to FM and albums, where the non-hit tracks had just as much impact.

TRYIN’

The album closer, written and sung by Randy Meisner.

Usually bands put the ponderous track at the end, but this was as if the band had performed its set and was gonna do a runner, get in the bus and hightail it to a better place, with some wine and women to go along with the song.

The track is good, the vocal is good, the solo is good, but the magic is…at the two minute mark, when almost all the instruments drop out and they sing about keepin’ on tryin’. And if you don’t think that’s life, you haven’t lived it.

CERTAIN KIND OF FOOL

Another Randy track, cowritten with Don and Glenn. If this doesn’t get you, doesn’t bring you right back to the westerns of your youth, you’re a city kid without dreams.

Yes, even at this late date the west is a dream, because of the wide open spaces, the freedom, the opportunity.

He was a poor boy, raised in a small family
He kinda had a craving for somethin’ no one else could see

Today parents are their kid’s best friend, they’re supportive, whereas in the sixties…your parents were clueless as to who you were, they were constantly trying to keep you in line, which is why you got a jalopy and filled it with gas and drove to California to become the person you truly believed yourself to be.

They got respect
Oh yeah
He wants the same
Oh yeah
And it’s a certain kind of fool who likes to hear the sound of his own name

That’s who they were, a certain type of fool, who wanted to show everybody back home that they were not a loser… You don’t get it by just saying so, you’ve got to prove it. And you can hear Randy and the band proving it all night long in this cut.

BITTER CREEK

Bernie wrote it and sang it, and it’s got that loneliness we all felt back then and so many still feel today, but never discuss. Yes, today every singer is a winner, whereas in the classic rock era artists said the things we could not, they revealed their inner demons, we loved them because we identified!

Oh, the sound of this track….

MY MAN

Bernie’s tribute to the suddenly deceased Gram Parsons, this is my favorite cut on “On The Border.”

Tell me the truth, how do you feel
Like you’re rollin’ so fast that you’re spinnin’ your wheels
Don’t feel too bad, you’re not all alone
We’re all tryin’ to get along

It was okay to sing about being flummoxed back then, it’s anathema today.

JOURNEY OF THE SORCERER

“One Of These Nights” cemented the band’s reputation, they were suddenly playing stadiums, it all came together…and we had no idea “Hotel California” was around the corner. But if you were in SoCal in the summer of ’75, “One Of These Nights” emanated from every window, it was in the air, and this instrumental cut was a staple, it sets your mind free…

WASTED TIME

And then Bernie was gone, soon Randy was to follow, Joe Walsh replaced the country element with rock and the Eagles became the biggest band in the land. And if you don’t think it was a pleasure to hear “Hotel California” emanating from the car speaker…you didn’t have an automobile or a radio. This was back when music wasn’t all me-too, when a song could have more questions than answers.

And the massive success contributed to the Eagles hatred that lasts to this day, despite the fact that it’s the earlier records that seem to get all the airplay. You see people hate success, they hate greatness, especially if you don’t humbly say you suck. But the truth is everybody who becomes a superstar knows deep down inside how truly wonderful they are, it’s just illegal to say it, but the Eagles had no problem doing so.

And in ’77, not a conversation went by without someone saying they or someone they knew was living life in the fast lane. But the song that truly touched me, that made Don Henley’s reputation as a songwriter, was “Wasted Time.” (Oh, Glenn cowrote it, but the essence is so Don.)

“Wasted Time” is the best breakup song of all time, because it encapsulates all the pain of the transition.

Well baby, there you stand
With your little head down in your hand
Oh my god, can’t believe it’s happening again
Your baby’s gone and you’re all alone
And it looks like the end

The first breakup is the hardest, but the ones thereafter are tough in their own way. You see you thought this was the one, you gave it your all and suddenly…you’re back in the dating pool. It feels like you’re living in “Groundhog Day.”

And you’re back out on the street
And you’re tryin’ to remember
How will you start it over
You don’t know what became
You don’t care much for a stranger’s touch
But you can’t hold your man

Whew! The person you can no longer be with was so…familiar! The nooks and crannies of their body, you don’t want to experience the uncomfortableness of someone new, you don’t want to kiss a frog, you just want to go back to them…but you can’t.

You never thought you’d be alone
This far down the line
I know what’s been on your mind
You’re afraid it’s all been wasted time

That’s the problem, as you get older, closer to the end, the termination of your reproductive window, you just can’t believe you wasted so much time!

Or did you?

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find
That it wasn’t really wasted time

But it’s too soon for that perspective. You’re still hurting, but you’ve jumped back into the game, and it’s painful. But you can’t look back, you can only look forward.

And looking forward we had disco and MTV and ultimately, in 1991, punk.

Oh, we had punk in the middle seventies, but it just couldn’t topple classic rock. And this is another source of Eagles hatred. They didn’t fade away, they didn’t let themselves be replaced, rather they stepped up their game and they triumphed.

And then they expired.

But now they’re back on the road, have been for nearly two decades. And I care not a whit if you don’t go, neither do they, but they’re America’s most consistent ticket sellers, because baby boomers want to go…

To not only remember their youth, but to contemplate who they once were and now are and what a long strange trip it’s been, with the Eagles providing the soundtrack all the while.

Rhinofy-Semi-Obscure Eagles

Previous Rhinofy playlists

Used to be nudity killed your career.

But that was back when movie stars didn’t do television, before everything we knew turned out to be wrong.

Where’s that girl in the Billy Idol video today?

And while you’re at it, where are the girls in the Robert Palmer video?

I’ve got no idea.

Emily Ratajkowski may not be a star tomorrow, but she’s positively global today, all because of her appearance in the Robin Thicke video.

It was the only thing that had me watching, who was the girl with the perfect breasts?

And then I wrote about it and started getting e-mail…she was all over Tumblr!

But it’s hard to talk about sex and bodies in America, the blowback is…

But I’m at dinner tonight, and Lisa brings up the girl in the video and the two thirtysomething women immediately chime in, “If I had a boob job I’d want hers!”

Huh?

That’s the difference between yesterday and today, women own not only their bodies, but their sexuality. And that’s how Emily Ratajkowski ended up being the star of the “Blurred Lines” video. Hell, she’s new, the song is not.

But are they real?

That’s what everybody at dinner was wondering.

So I took to the Internet…

Whereupon I found conflicting opinions. Men saying they were definitely natural and women, on a breast implant site, claiming they saw telltale scars.

And then I found this:

realemrata Emily Ratajkowski at 14

For those too lazy to click through, this is Emily Ratajkowski’s Twitter feed, and it says…

“For those meanies that insist I have had a boob job, here I am at 14 sooooo pic.twitter.com/MMZZvAMr”

Well that solves that, they’re natural.

But what stuns me is there’s no handler, no PR person saying no, it’s just unfiltered Emily, responding to her critics on her Twitter feed with 66,217 followers.

She took control of her own career, she demanded the ball and is running down the field and everybody in the demo knows all about it, and the baby boomers who control the mainstream media are clueless.

Yes, the oldsters might be afraid of boobies in the wild, but to the youngsters they’re as de rigueur as gay marriage. Yup, that’s how fast things change, we’ve got a black President, legal dope and homosexuals are getting married. If you think you can jet us back to the past, I’d like to see your rocket ship.

1. There are no rules. Profanity may be taboo on network TV and terrestrial radio, but it’s an everyday occurrence out in the wild. The oldsters are in future shock, the youngsters know that not only does nothing last forever, yesterday is history and if you were big then, you might be nobody now, so you’d better capitalize on your moment of fame.

2. The definition of a star has broadened. Used to be a star had talent. Today, that’s not the case, unless you consider self-promotion a talent, and to be truthful, it is!

3. Capitalize on what you’ve got. Don’t downplay your assets, embrace them. Don’t try to be a musician if you can’t sing or play, there are many more ways to gain the fame you want, and they’re probably easier to achieve.

4. Young is not the clothes you wear, but who you are inside. In other words, you can get plastic surgery and wear skinny jeans and still be an antique. We’re going through the greatest cultural revolution since the sixties, only this time the baby boomers are the odd people out, they’re the parents. Revolution was enabled back then by radio and the music, today it’s enabled by the Internet. Yes, the Internet is the tool, and it’s enhanced by smartphones and Twitter and Instagram and…you can build your own identity online, don’t pooh-pooh it, that’s today’s reality!

5. The Internet could kill American puritanism. Kids who grow up sexting are not afraid of their bodies.

6. Everyone can play, the tools are cheap. Used to be it was expensive to make a record, not only is it cheap to make a record today, it’s cheap to make a YouTube video, tweet and have an online identity. Yes, today’s kids are embracing the sixties ethos of freeing their minds and becoming who they want to be, since the baby boomers wrecked the economy and took away all their opportunities.

7. Emily Ratajkowski is for them, not us. She’s not on a pedestal, she’s positively reachable. For all those oldsters who say they don’t want to waste time on social media, social media is today’s game, not radio and SoundScan and all the metrics of yore.

8. You can’t wait and contemplate, you’ve got to play. Risk is anathema to oldsters, it’s everything to youngsters.

9. You might not be able to meet Emily Ratajkowski, but she can certainly inspire you, teach you how to live your life. Yes, more kids are now going to reveal their boobies and dance freely. You cannot put this genie back into the bottle.

10. Look behind the facade. “American Idol” and “X Factor” and “The Voice” are not about singing or careers, they’re about television and advertising. If you’re bitching about them, you’re missing the point. The point is it’s more fun to be a star yourself than to listen to the whored out performers. Yes, musicians are rarely heroes, but they do provide the grease for your lifestyle. Hell, you can’t dance without the tunes!