STADIUM ACTS

Are not bitching about what everybody else is. Money is not their issue. Everybody wants to be in business with them.

The transition in the business is evidenced by the fact that those who consistently sell out stadiums are younger generation acts, baby boomers cannot. Bruce Springsteen can do stadiums overseas, but not in the U.S. U2 may have been off the road long enough to try stadiums again, but without a hit new record, they probably shouldn’t.

So the number one worldwide stadium act is One Direction, which breaks merch records wherever it goes, which has more sponsorship/endorsement deals than you can count. If you think the music business is in trouble, you’re unfamiliar with their income. It only pales in comparison to those in finance/investment.

Then comes Taylor Swift. The opening act doesn’t matter. She made it on her music. If you hate Taylor Swift, either you were involved with her or she wrote a song about your or both, but Ms. Swift is everything that’s right about the music business, she told the story of her life in catchy songs, and you wonder why everybody is lining up to give her money?

And then there’s Luke Bryan, who fills the structures with support acts, as does Kenny Chesney, still Luke’s headliner status cannot be denied. He’s had years of hits and makes music in a style trendsetters and tastemakers say is unfashionable, i.e. rock and roll, even though they call it country.

More acts, however thin the layer, are selling out stadiums than in years. This is a good thing.

ARENA ACTS-NEW

Radio hits got them here. That’s the power of FM. They might have gotten their start online, but radio is selling 15,000-20,000 tickets a night. More than ever, these acts are pop, because that’s what radio is. Will Katy Perry and Rihanna still sell ducats when they run out of hits? History says no, but we’re rewriting history as we sit here.

Ticket prices are astronomical, so even though recorded music revenues are down, today’s arena acts make more money than yesterday’s. In the heyday of the early seventies, tickets to the arena were less than ten dollars. Today?

ARENA ACTS-CLASSIC

And the classic example is the Eagles, who go clean everywhere at prices so high that there’s enough money to fly private and everybody takes home millions. Sure, it was easier to stay home and count record revenue than plying the boards, still, there’s a lot of money out there for classic acts that can still sell out arenas.

And then there are the neo-classics, like Metallica, which still make new albums that some people care about and may not do stadiums in the U.S., but do so outside of it. Illustrating, once again, the myopia of those who don’t realize there’s more money to be made outside the U.S. than in it.

FESTIVAL HEADLINER-REFORMED ACT

The quintessential example is Outkast. Stay away long enough and festival promoters will pay you uber bucks to reunite and headline their weekend. Because festivals need a draw, and novelty sells. Payment is high, work is relatively easy, but when the festival season is over you’d have better saved your money, because your earning days, if not through, will probably not reach this stratospheric level again.

FESTIVAL UNDERCARD

They’ve got to fill out the bill. If you’re a real name, who can sell tickets elsewhere, welcome to a decent payday. If you’ve done something and are new you’ll get an appearance. But do not believe playing the undercard means you will work next year, or get booked on festivals the following year. The festival is not about you. And only a few attendees care about you. And almost no act breaks out of, never mind is revived out of, festivals. Want to make money at a festival? Be the promoter!

SHED ACTS

Tend to be repackaged classic rockers. There’s a lot of money in it. Hundreds of thousands of dollars a night if you can sell tickets. The owners have to fill the seats, to satiate sponsors. They need draws. So Styx can work every year, as can Def Leppard, but most of these acts do have to work every year, income is good, but not enough to retire. You may be able to take one season off.

Then there are the new acts playing sheds. Occasionally there’s a breakout headliner, oftentimes it’s packages. These acts are on the way up as opposed to experiencing a victory lap. They are not rolling in dough. They are on the cusp. They’re not bitching about Spotify payments, but they’re looking at every avenue to make coin. They’re hungry for sponsorships, they want to get their music out there. They’ve broken through, their desire it to stay there.

THEATRE ACTS

It’s good business if you can get it. It means a few thousand people want to see you. If you cut it to the bone, you can make money on the road, but if you cut it to the bone, will people want to see you next time?

Younger acts invest more in the shows. Older acts, and those skewing older demographically, focus more on the music, that which resonates with their audience.

Theatre acts usually the hot ones. Those with the sound hipsters are talking about. The ones promoted by the public radio station and SiriusXM. They wish it were easier. They wish they could make money off of album sales. They wish there was a meaningful radio outlet that could blow them up. But either they need another hit single, yes, nascent Top Forty acts play theatres, or they’re caught in limbo, they can’t break through the ceiling. And there’s a good chance their audience won’t maintain.

So the good news is someone cares. The bad news is not enough. And going one step up is so hard.

CLUB ACTS

There are two kinds of clubs. Ones holding over a thousand people, and there are many, like the Wiltern, are akin to theatres, the acts that play them are theatre acts.

And then there are the true clubs. Which hold a few hundred people at most.

Once upon a time, record companies kept clubs in business, by buying tables and drinks. They don’t do this anymore. Clubs have to make it on their own. So they can’t afford name talent and they need acts that can sell tickets. So frequently clubs feature acts many have not heard of and don’t draw. And it’s easier to break through online than it is to go on a club tour, unless you’re a great live act or a developing metal or punk band. You can get your business started, but it’s up to you to make it bigger.

HOUSE CONCERT ACTS

You were someone once. Or you play adult-oriented folk. You complain that it ain’t the way it used to be. On the other hand, it can be a very good middle class living, but it’s the last stop, the dead end. You can make new music and sell it to those who attend, but no one else cares. It’s frustrating, but radio doesn’t want old people and old people, other than the ones who come to your shows, don’t want new music.

YOUTUBE SENSATIONS

You must have millions of plays to be a sensation. Hopefully, double digit millions. If you hit triple digit millions, go on your instant victory lap, like PSY or Carly Rae Jepsen, that’s all you may ever get.

So if you’ve got millions of plays, pat yourself on the back, you’ve accomplished something. But not much.

How can that be?

There’s too much info, everybody’s a grazer, what have you done for me lately… You’re not even a one hit wonder, you’re making almost no money, you think you’re entitled to more but you’re not. You rail that no one’s buying your album. And you complain that streaming pays a pittance. But the truth is you’re just not big enough.

SIGNED TO MAJOR LABEL

Congratulations, someone believes in you! Probably because you racked up a few million YouTube plays. Someone’s got money to invest, hopefully they’ll push you on the radio and get you started in theatres. But maybe not. The regime might change, tastes might change, maybe your record isn’t that good. And if the label cares, it’s not going to release that LP until they believe it’s got a hit. It’s their money, they don’t care about you, but them. Save every penny you can, it’s all you may ever see.

SIGNED TO INDIE LABEL

You can tell your friends and family you have a deal but there will be almost no investment in you and you’ll still be doing all the work. Sure, some indie albums break through, but those are the ones with labels attached to the major label machine, who decide to make you a priority. You think you’re in the music business, you think you deserve more, and you’re frustrated where you end up. The indie acts complain louder than anyone. They’re passionate about what they do so they believe everybody else should be too. They just can’t understand why they can’t get paid. They work so hard, they’re getting screwed by Spotify, they yearn for the pre-Internet era, not realizing in those years they wouldn’t be allowed to play at all, recording would be too expensive and they wouldn’t be able to get distribution into physical retail. Just because you’re on iTunes that does not make you an act worthy of attention.

THE HOBBYIST

Is in their basement, concocting tracks, devouring all the information on the web. While the top liners are too busy making money to dive into the minutiae, the hobbyist knows everything about Pandora and Spotify and voices their opinion constantly. The hobbyist wants to be in the game. But most don’t take action. They don’t want to give up their day job, they don’t believe in themselves enough. They’d rather complain about the game than play it. Beware of the words of the hobbyist.

THE WANNABE

The mirror star. The “Voice” expert. The couch potato. Someone who consumes media and plots their way to the top believing it’s all about short cuts and no hard work. They believe the business is a game alternately in their favor or stacked against them. They believe the judges really have power. They will do anything for stardom. Which bothers those further up the food chain, who believe they’re paying real dues. In reality, they’re passionate fans, who usually need a few more years to give up their dream.

It was the trout at Galena Lodge.

I knew something was wrong when I couldn’t get warm. But I chalked it up to too much air conditioning, everybody was complaining, but that couldn’t quite explain shivering and chill bumps two hours later, or could it?

You see it was illegal to be sick in the house I grew up in. If I told my mother I wasn’t feeling well, she’d advise I go to school and see if the cold maintained. You see her mother was a hypochondriac. As a result, even with insurance, in my family doctors are anathema, you’re supposed to tough it out.

But I’m at 6,000 feet and I’ve got leukemia and I’m sitting in the summer sun with a long sleeve shirt and a fleece vest and a hoodie and I’m still shaking, you’d think a trip to the infirmary would be advisable…

But not me!

So I was dropped off at the residence while my compatriots journeyed to dinner and my first goal was to warm myself up.

So I drew a bath. And remembering all my knowledge about frostbite I knew the water shouldn’t be scalding, then again I could feel my limbs, but what I’m trying to convey is how afraid I was, like I was gonna…die.

I mean I’m not sure how it happens. Sure, you could get into an accident and pass instantly, but if illness snuffs you out…does it fade, or is it instant? Are you vulnerable and then do you experience a whammy and go down for the count just like that?

Which is why I didn’t go to sleep, however tired I was, because I don’t want to go that way, I want to be wide awake, I want to see death coming.

And as the chills started to subside, I mixed in some truly hot water, but then I was afraid of drowning… I did tell you I was paranoid, right?

And I knew I should eat something even though I didn’t feel like it but all they had in the house was soup, and my system…

Well, this was after I ate the energy bars. That’s what they’re for, right, energy?

And I started drinking copious amounts of water.

And did I mention the diarrhea?

I mean the constitution of my system is not quite what it used to be, I used to be able to eat anything. Now I’ve got to forgo sriracha, and indigestion is my friend, so the fact that I had had numerous visits to the loo earlier in the day didn’t signal something more significant, but now I was truly out on the edge, terrified.

Eventually I had some protein, the duck that was reserved for dinner. But it didn’t get rid of the splitting headache. No, that’s not quite the right description, it was as if someone put my head in a vise and then whacked my noggin with a book.

And you’d think I’d be able to sleep, but I couldn’t.

And the next morning my diarrhea was just as bad so…

I sucked it up and went to the conference, albeit late.

But later, when we were on the back porch, hearing the Napster story from John Hummer, that old cold feeling started to seep back in. That chicken skin. And those shivers and shakes.

So I knew something more was required.

I figured it was anemia, my hemorrhoids had acted up as a result of all that time on the pot, and I wanted to stanch the bleeding which required smoother movements so I borrowed a car and drove to the grocery store for some Metamucil, to ease the passage, and once again I was shaking, absolutely freezing, I could walk, but very very slowly.

And as the evening wore on I could not rally. I held my head in my hands, feeling like a party-pooper, but that’s what my family does best, go along with the show, I felt I was unentitled to blow the whistle.

And last night I slept much better, but why were the sheets so wet?

And I’d loaded up with everything in my arsenal, not only the newly-purchased Metamucil but the stool softeners and anal bullets I travel with but rarely use but was so proud of myself for having in my old kit bag. I mean that’s the Boy Scout motto, right? Be prepared?

And I am an Eagle Scout. I mean how else was I supposed to get into college? And yes, I was approached by a homosexual at Boy Scout camp but now I’m WAY off point.

And the clerk said we checked in ninety seconds too late and our bags wouldn’t make the flight home. And that we’d have to pick them up tomorrow, because there’s only one flight to L.A. a day. And I’m running my mental checklist, is there anything in my bag necessary to ensure my health?

I didn’t think so, but it turned out to be a false alarm, our bags arrived.

And finally I was back where the air is thick and the altitude is low but my head was still not clear and suddenly, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every five minutes.

This could not happen. I had nothing inside, no lunch, only a yogurt for breakfast.

What’s a poor boy to do? Certainly not play in a rock and roll band. I could barely watch TV.

So as the hours wore on and my anxiety flared I did what everybody does in a health crisis today, I Googled.

And that’s when I found my exact symptoms. Chills and diarrhea. Caused by undercooked fish. EUREKA!

Not that I’m better. I mean I’m better, but I haven’t recovered.

So do I go to the doctor now?

There’s nothing worse than having them say there’s nothing wrong.

But there positively was.

And I was an idiot not to take it more seriously.

Almost completely forgotten, they were the first U.S. release on Led Zeppelin’s label Swan Song and truly lived up to the appellation “supergroup”… Well, Paul Rodgers was super in Free, but that band had faded out. And Mott The Hoople only had one hit in the U.S., and we had no idea that Mick Ralphs was such a virtuoso, and Simon Kirke and Boz Burrell were minor members of hit bands but we knew who they were but we had no idea that together they’d concoct such memorable music! There wasn’t a guy alive who didn’t love Bad Company, and it was not restricted to males only.

BAD COMPANY

Why does this sound so good?

It was the first cut I heard on the radio, before the album came out. Sure, Paul could sing, but the track was so atmospheric, so brooding and then so powerful, one of my favorite tracks ever. Come on, that’s why they call me…BAD COMPANY AND I CAN’T DENY!

CAN’T GET ENOUGH

The big hit, on all radio formats. I’ll actually say the sound is a bit thin, but there’s no denying this is an instant, one listen smash. Come on, you’re sitting at home believing you deserve attention? Listen to this and tell me what you’re doing is just as good!

MOVIN’ ON

What a guitar sound!

SEAGULL

So intimate. Back when bands didn’t adhere to only one sound, when they could rock and be mellow all on the same album. We lonely guys listened to this late at night and felt we were a member of a tribe, and our membership would get us through until we found the girlfriend we so desired.

FEEL LIKE MAKIN’ LOVE

And then they turned it up.

Baby, when I think about you
I think about love

From the acoustic guitar intro to the winsome vocal to the explosion at the chorus this too was an instant smash, and deservedly so.

Feel like makin’
Feel like makin’ love

It’s what came between those two lines that so enraptured us. The guitar, the drums, the bass, Bad Company was a BAND!

SHOOTING STAR

One of the best songs about rock and roll stardom ever written and recorded. Back when some of our heroes died but not so many that it seemed a curse of the lifestyle. Furthermore, there was the reference to being inspired by the Beatles. The laconic groove sits right in your pocket.

DEAL WITH THE PREACHER

It’s all about the vocal, the URGENCY! It’s like someone grabbed Paul Rodgers by the balls and he eked out the words. Listening to this makes you forget about the rest of the world, makes you believe you’re on a subliminal trip to somewhere!

WILD FIRE WOMAN

Another incredible vocal. It’s amazing how consistently good the first two Bad Company albums were. No filler, just winners.

Wild fire shooting through my veins
Burns a fever to my brain
Wild fire woman, something you got
I start to shiver when you do that
Do that baby

Come on, please, DO THAT!

GOOD LOVIN’ GONE BAND

The album opener. The English cats knew to blow our doors off right off the top, they grabbed our attention and kept it. The change makes you SWOON!

LIVE FOR THE MUSIC

The first stumble, the first album that was not golden throughout, but that does not mean there weren’t peaks on “Run With The Pack.”

This is my anthem…

Some people say I’m no good
Layin’ in my bed all day
But when the nighttime comes I’m ready to rock
And roll my toes away

Once upon a time music was the anti. Forget the “Billboard” Top Forty charts, they were nearly meaningless from ’68 to ’81, it was what you heard on FM, stuff like this.

You stayed up late, got up late and wore your street clothes because the only thing that mattered was the music. Just the band on stage, with your fist in the air, singing along at the top of your lungs.

I’m still this person, which may be why I don’t fit in.

RUN WITH THE PACK

The title cut off the third album, a satisfying romp that is put over the top by the way the cut slows down and gets quiet during the chorus.

SIMPLE MAN

Freedom is the only thing means a damn to me

Not the Republican freedom, where the government is supposed to stay out of your business while it refuses you an abortion, but the feeling of being in the Wasatch, with only the snow and the sky to keep you company, with this cut playing on a loop in your head.

Put me in society and it doesn’t work. I’m a square peg in a round hole. That’s why we believed in the musicians, they were this squared. They couldn’t do anything else. They didn’t kowtow to corporations, they went their own way, and whipped a few bills off their stack of hundreds to take care of the damage.

I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want you to hurt me. Why is this such a problem in today’s society, why is everybody in everybody else’s business?

Leave me alone with my music.

BURNIN’ SKY

And the fourth album was even worse than the third. With even fewer high peaks. But this was one of them.

It’s got all the classic Bad Company elements, each band member integral to the perfected sound. Along with a pounding beat. This was not thin like “Feel Like Makin’ Love.”

LEAVING YOU

Ooh, that guitar intro, the vocal, it’s like the most famous person in the world stepped inside your house to tell you his personal story… To the accompaniment of powerful rock and roll.

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL FANTASY

And then the surprise, just when we were about to write Bad Company off, they came back blazin’ with a more modern sound but even more importantly incredibly hooky songs.

This lead-off track on “Desolation Angels” gets more airplay than the better Kinks song with the same moniker, but still, this is nearly astounding, there’s no fat, you just lock into the groove and GO!

CRAZY CIRCLES

Since we’re taking it from the top…

“Rock ‘n’ Roll Fantasy” opened the album in classic rocking style, but the following cut was even better, the quiet “Crazy Circles,” with infectious acoustic playing.

This would burn up Spotify if released today. Because it’s not about fitting the formula, just nailing it on your own terms, and this does!

GONE, GONE, GONE

Almost like “Back In Black,” the album keeps going, sounding different from cut to cut, but still demanding attention.

EVIL WIND

A change in groove, this is still one of the best cuts on the album. It almost sounds like it could be off one of the first two LPs, once again, there’s no fat, just pure rock and roll.

EARLY IN THE MORNING

And the final track on the first side has got a great guitar intro and a dreamy vocal and who woulda thunk at this late date Bad Company would fire on all cylinders?

LONELY FOR YOUR LOVE

My favorite cut on “Desolation Angels,” this opens the second side with the same vocal style as on “Wild Fire Woman” but with an even jauntier groove and a stinging guitar.

Unexpected changes, the aforementioned stinging guitar, urgency, this is what rock and roll is supposed to be.

OH, ATLANTA

Sounds like a carnival. Not the Little Feat song, but every bit as good.

RHYTHM MACHINE

A nod to the sound of the day, but for some reason Bad Company walks up to the line and does not cross it, this is not pandering.

Unfortunately, the band couldn’t replicate this quality, and the follow-up “Rough Diamonds” was a near-disaster, and then the band split. It ultimately reformed and had hits with a different lead singer, but truly it’s all about the classic lineup, one of the best in rock and roll.

Yet Bad Company is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Because being good is not good enough, you’ve got to pose, you’ve got to be edgy. What a bunch of crap. I’ll admit Patti Smith broke more rules than Bad Company, but I’d rather listen to Bad Company any day of the week, and I still do.

If there were a band this good today they’d go straight to the top of the charts.

And either you know what I’m talking about or you’ll play these tracks and marvel at what you’ve been missing, that one of the best bands in rock and roll history has been hiding in plain sight!

Rhinofy-Bad Company Primer

I eat a lot of energy bars.

I know they’re not real food, that’s what my nutritionist tells me, but they’re a good pick-me-up, assuming you buy the ones with enough protein.

Yes, I’ve learned how to read the nutrition label. You don’t want one with less than ten grams of protein. Otherwise, you’ll just get a sugar rush and no get up and go.

And for a while there I was hooked on ZonePerfect bars. I highly recommend them, only I don’t. You know how most energy bars taste like cardboard, how they resemble food but not really? That’s not the case with ZonePerfect bars. They’re truly tasty. Start with the Chocolate Mint. If you dig that, move on to the Double Dark Chocolate. And the Dark Chocolate Almond. They say they’ve got tons of protein, but I don’t believe it. I don’t think the FDA tests these bars. Furthermore, I know my gumption doesn’t last long after consuming one. And I’ve eaten plenty, I’ve had to wean myself, I was downing them like candy. I still can’t resist when I go to Bob’s Market, where they’ve got a full complement, but mostly I’ve moved on to…

The Balance Bar.

Now for a long time I thought the Chocolate Raspberry was it. Kinda like Joyva Chocolate Covered Raspberry Jell Rings, which most people get for Passover, but work at any time. Just a hint of raspberry does the trick. Remember when Robin Rose sold her raspberry chocolate chip ice cream? This was just at the advent of the foodie era, you could not get close to her emporium in Venice.

And I’ve eaten every Balance bar extant. Because they taste good enough, have enough protein and not too many carbs, they’re BALANCED!

For a minute there I enjoyed the Almond Brownie. But then I decided they had a chemical taste. In a pinch I’ll still eat one, at the top of Vail Mountain, but I do my best not to buy them.

As for the gold models?? None of them really ring my bell, Chocolate Mint Cookie Crunch sounds good, but it too has the chemical taste. And who doesn’t like S’mores? But the Balance iteration is a far cry from the campground favorite.

No, my Balance Bar of choice is the Mocha Chip.

Now I drink no coffee.

But I’m a fool for coffee ice cream, and coffee yogurt, and the Mocha Chip Balance Bar is a staple of my diet.

I used to buy them by the box at Whole Foods, they give you a discount that way, they’re only 99 cents apiece. But for some reason they stopped stocking them, and they’re $1.69 at Bob’s, which is way too much, but I’ve got a jones.

It’s the chewiness along with the hint of coffee that does it. Mmm… I’ve already eaten one today. I brought along a dozen to Sun Valley.

That’s where I am, for an arts conference. Technically, the Americans for the Arts Leadership Roundtable. Marty invited us, he’s on Felice’s board.

And I haven’t been to Sun Valley since 1976. A mountain that gets no snow but provides some of the best skiing in America, because it’s the same pitch from top to bottom, there are no flat spots to recover, you’ve got to commit.

And this morning I walked over to Warm Springs. Checked out Limelight, where we used to bang the bumps.

And after finishing my expedition, we went on an excursion up Idaho Highway 75 to Galena Lodge. Where we sat outside in the barely 60 degree weather and I ate a trout salad and said…mmm, I’m still hungry.

And I remembered Felice fingering a candy bar at the counter. I knew they had some chozzerai there, when everybody returned to the car, I went on a reconnaissance mission.

It was there that I encountered the Don Bar.

Now you’ve got to know, once upon a time, before the Internet and cell phones, Ketchum, Idaho was off the beaten path, the entire western United States was. You’d get in your automobile and realize it was just you and the elements, you and the big sky. If you broke down, good luck. But with no safety net, you felt so alive.

And there’s no cell service at Galena Lodge. So I figured I’d better fortify myself, in case the apocalypse arrived.

So I bought the Don Bar.

I was reluctant at first, it looked mostly like a cellophane wrapped brownie.

But the man behind the counter told me no, it was an energy bar.

That made it legit, I could buy and consume it, it wasn’t dessert, it was sustenance!

And he said that it was comprised of oats and peanut butter and…

I was sold before he finished. And although I thought three bucks was excessive for such a tiny square, I said what the hell.

And when I unwrapped it, NIRVANA!

Oh, when life exceeds your expectations. When your mind says average but your taste buds say exquisite. Lunch was good, but this energy bar was a 10!

Every bite was a mouth orgasm of sweet and crunchy, yet sticky and substantial. It was firmer than a Balance Bar, but nowhere near as crunchy as a ZonePerfect. It sat in that sweet spot reserved for delectable treats that have perfect mouth feel yet satiate your taste buds.

And it did the trick, it topped off my tank, it made me full.

That’s what protein does. When you see a woman consuming a salad without fish, chicken or beef, know that she knows nothing about nutrition, that she’s only into looks, because she’s gonna be starving, because women need ten to fifteen grams of protein at every meal and men need fifteen to twenty.

Which is why I read the labels on the energy bars.

Not that there was much info on the Don Bar at Galena Lodge, but you know when something has enough protein, because, as I said, you feel full.

So, so long Clif bars, with their decent taste but hardly any protein, they’re carb-centric.

And so long Nature Valley, which too specialize in carbs and are nearly protein free.

And hello Balance Mocha Chip and the newly found Don Bar!

Because life is lived on the go, and you need something quick and easy to keep you going.

P.S. The recipe is secret, but one blogger tried to recreate the Don Bar here:

homemade peanut butter-chocolate granola bars

ZonePerfect

Balance Mocha Chip

Joyva Chocolate Covered Raspberry Jell Rings

Galena Lodge