Why is this a story?

Reviewing his latest album, whose name eludes me, is like writing about a blank CD. Because no one can hear it.

I get the train-wreck value. With the diminutive one and his constant anti-internet/technology blathering. But why give him ink at all? Why not say NEXT and move on?

If a tree falls in a forest does it make a noise?

If a has-been releases an album exclusively on Tidal does it matter what it sounds like?

Access and attention, these are the two concepts you must keep in mind.

Imagine being un-Googlable. It would be like you didn’t exist. No one could find you. With phone books having fallen by the wayside, no one would be able to get in touch with you you didn’t already know, assuming they remembered your number and e-mail address. Would you like this? Some treasure anonymity, but the youngsters who drive this culture and are the future of this world are all about social, creating bonds online. They can be criticized for their lust for fame, but at least they understand the game. Prince is so detached from reality he’s one step away from the mental hospital. And like other train-wrecks before him, from Sid Vicious to Amy Winehouse, we refuse to send him to rehab, we just follow their actions as they self-destruct.

And in a world overrun with media, attention is everything. The enemy is obscurity, not a theoretical non-paying public. Where did that start anyway? If the public expected everything for free people wouldn’t pay for concert tickets. And it turns out they are paying for music, via streaming, and if you don’t understand that you’re not in the game. If your Spotify royalties suck it’s because not enough people are listening. Sure, the label may be taking the lion’s share, and not enough people are paying, but the truth is streaming is a train that’s leaving the station everybody is going to get on. And then it won’t matter if you sell a record, but if people listen to it. And you’ll be competing against Led Zeppelin and the Beatles, who didn’t used to get paid after the first sale but will forevermore. This is a good thing, we want to reward those who are actually listened to. But in this era of chaos those being left out are lamenting it publicly and those who don’t understand it keep demonstrating their ignorance.

Like Prince.

The truth is, Mr. Nelson, no one wants to listen to your new music. You utilized YouTube recently and your tracks sunk soon. Because you just can’t write a hit. And that’s all we’re interested in these days, hits. Except for the hard core, every old act has fans, but that does not mean the rest of us should care.

But if you do something as good as the new Bieber, which is astoundingly good, beyond expectations, if not great, then it matters. Assuming we can hear it.

But that’s what’s wrong with old media, no editorial voice. These are the same people who are so busy printing both sides of the story that facts are thrown out the window. How about printing the number of Tidal subscribers at the beginning of your review. How about stating that Prince has had so many attempted comebacks that those who used to care no longer do. How about reviewing tracks instead of albums, creating playlists categorized on what we must hear, shouldn’t hear and might be interested in. It’s this refusal to enter the future that makes me cheer on the internet news sources. That is when they’re not trolling for link-bait. Then again, BuzzFeed could compile a list of five Prince albums most people have never heard of.

And while we’re at it can we have a moratorium on vinyl stories? Or get statistics on how many discs are purchased as souvenirs and are never listened to? If people were interested in quality sound they would have bought Neil Young’s Pono player, and you know how that turned out. Then again, the press gave Neil a pass on that one, even though anybody with a brain knew it was a nonstarter. I don’t care how much you raise on Kickstarter, I look at the number of donors. And if it ain’t in six figures, you’re not a mainstream band…and that never happens. Whoopee! You got a ton of believers to lay down money because they remember what once was and are desirous of smelling your farts. Name one Kickstarter album that graduated to the big leagues? I rest my case.

And let’s admit streaming won and concentrate on that which is being streamed. They do call it the music BUSINESS and the truth is everyone wants to get paid and the way you do this is by creating something that streams in quantity. I can name scores of failed bands from the days of yore, if I was like the bitching barons I’d say they deserved to be well-known millionaires. But unlike the blind I know that life is unfair. And I also know that the internet did not uncover loads of unsigned talent that the majors were ignoring. The truth is there are very few quality acts and now, more than ever, we’re gravitating to those at the peak.

Sorry… But it’s the way of the world. If you’re not overwhelmed by choice, which is the problem Jimmy Iovine is trying to tackle by delivering so many playlists you’re still overwhelmed, you’re streaming the same damn stuff as everybody else. Most people are. Sure, you’re free to play your obscure favorites, just don’t tell me they deserve to be rich.

And don’t tell me Prince’s new album is relevant and worth paying attention to. Hell, it wouldn’t be worth paying attention to if it was on Spotify.

As for Taylor Swift, Ms. Greed, she doesn’t want us to respect creators, she just wants to get paid. And isn’t that the point I’m making above? Why do all these big shots say they’re doing it for the little people…who are on all the services and are being ignored? They’re doing it for themselves. And the truth is not being on Spotify is hurting Ms. Swift more than it’s helping her. But I don’t expect to see a story about that by the fawning press which has been given access. I also don’t expect to see a story on how many people have never heard “Blank Space.” Taylor Swift may be the biggest star we’ve got, but she’s not that big, there’s no ubiquity, she’s making pure pop for poor people. How about making something we all can sing, that isn’t reliant on beats and has more to say than a billboard?

That’s coming.

When people understand the power of music is in the grooves, not the system of distribution. That a hit song is a ubiquitous item we all find satisfaction in, that we want to sing along with, that we want to get closer to.

Why do I have to endure stories about how Prince worked with a producer? Why do I have to read about songs I’ll never hear?

Here’s the message Mr. Nelson… Get your head out of your damn ass and put your music in the marketplace where it will either succeed or fail based upon its merits. The truth is you’re too scared to do this, because you can’t write a hit. As for all your bitching about being screwed by the business, I want to know how many tickets you’d be selling if you never signed to a label.

I’m not saying there aren’t inequities, but come on, come down from your throne and get into the pit. Where we’re all willing to give you a chance. In a competition that’s ever more cutthroat.

We want to listen, but we might not want to listen to you.

But if we are listening to you, you’re gonna get rich and have more power than you know what to do with.

Welcome to the modern music business.

“In the next generation of software, machine learning won’t just be an add-on that improves performance a few percentage points; it will really replace traditional approaches.

To give just one example: a decade ago, to launch a digital music service, you probably would have enlisted a handful of elite tastemakers to pick the hottest new music.

Today, you’re much better off building a smart system that can learn from the real world – what actual listeners are most likely to like next – and help you predict who and where the next Adele might be.

As a bonus, it’s a much less elitist taste-making process – much more democratic – allowing everyone to discover the next big star through our own collective tastes and not through the individual preferences of a select few.”

“Intelligent machines: Making AI work in the real world”

Radio comes first, on demand comes second. You need to be force-fed what to listen to, then you pick it out for endless repeat on your own.

The above comments by Google/Alphabet’s Eric Schmidt are the smartest I’ve seen on the future of music in a long time. In other words, if Jimmy Iovine were so brilliant, if it were all about endless playlists, Apple Music’s numbers would have been featured in last week’s presentation and the entire industry would be saying hosannas.

But this has not happened. Because the oldsters still rule in music, it’s a result of rights, the aged control them, but we won’t be all right until the lunatics take over the asylum. That’s right, techies are gonna save the world.

I’d like to tell you I know how machine learning works, but I can’t program and I count on the Valleyites, Silicon, not San Fernando, to lead me, to take me where I did not know I could go. What I’m looking for is a cohesive world that turns me on to the best stuff and makes me feel a member of society. Who wants to go to a gig of one? Where you’re the only person in the audience? That’s what listening in today’s music world is like. I want to be a member of a tribe, a growing one, watching acts ascend and fulfill.

But we don’t know how to do this. Everybody’s operating in their own silo. The labels believe in radio. Because it gives you the most bang for the buck, it’s the easiest place to start the story. And they’re still doubling down on print media and television, even though every week there are new reviews of albums that are quickly forgotten and with 400 scripted shows do you really expect me to scan the talkfests and come up with scintillating appearances by wannabes?

Of course not.

Music discovery is broken. There, I’ve said it.

What’s worse is this is not the conversation. The conversation is dominated by artists complaining that someone’s moved their cheese and is ripping them off at the same time. It’s as if they locked up gasoline producers at the Tesla factory and they kept on bitching that the car’s got no future. Hell, did you read that article that cars in the future are going to be about the software add-ons, that they’re going to resemble your phone more than a Corvette, never mind a Prius? Because getting the driving down is easy, constructing a satisfying listening experience is something else.

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting an Apple Car”

The problem with Jimmy Iovine is he’s looking backward. To the radio with the idiotic Beats 1. You know it’s not for listeners, right? It’s a way to start records for the labels. The biggest story on the station is their banging of Halsey, Capitol’s new/old act. It’s like if Beats 1 is on it the rest of us should pay attention. But didn’t we realize long ago, in the post-Napster era, it’s about appealing first to the audience? Which is anemic on Beats 1 because it’s got all the flaws of radio but ads, with unprofessional deejays to boot. You mean in an on demand culture I can’t fast-forward?

Most people have completely fast-forwarded through streaming services, because they’re incomprehensible, they don’t know where to start. Which is why they gravitate to the execrable Pandora. Whose genome delivers so many tune-outs it’s laughable. But people want to be served, who’s gonna serve them, who’s gonna turn them on to new stuff?

I want a computer to slice and dice everybody’s listening habits to give me the greatest chance of liking what comes next. I like the wisdom of the crowd. The only people who don’t are the outsiders in skinny jeans who need their identities embellished by their choices, the pricks.

Amazon eliminated human curators when it found out algorithms did a better job of predicting books. That’s right, the suggestions you see on your personal page were not done by hand and they generate even more sales. Why does everybody in music hate data? Data says freemium boosts paid Spotify. Might not feel right, but it’s true.

And the truth is we’d be better off with one playlist instead of a gazillion.

But Schmidt’s comments above give me hope… That those outside the bubble can see what we cannot and can deliver satiation.

Shawn and Sean did it with Napster.

Oh, come on, get off your financial horse. Having all of the music at your fingertips is a godsend. Gary Richrath dies and I can instantly hear “Roll With The Changes.” Used to be I’d turn on the radio to wait for it. And the communal experience was good.

But the communal experience is coming back, that’s what’s Schmidt is talking about.

I want all the naysayers and complainers to STFU. Where has it gotten them? Did it kill file-trading? No, legal streaming music services did that. It’s time for everybody to get with the program, to look forward instead of back. This is the new reality. People are listening to music and artists are getting paid. And nothing is stopping them from not only going on tour, but communicating with their fans on social media services.

This is nirvana! It’s just those inured to the old system refuse to play in the new.

I thought human curation was gonna solve the music discovery problem. It still might. But it looks like the techies are gonna get there first. Hell, my inbox is filling up with people loving Spotify’s new Discovery feature.

If only we could let the best minds carry the ball.

Experience counts.

But classic rock acts never have another hit and all the innovation has come from the tech side.

Does Jimmy Iovine know anything about machine learning?

Case closed.

P.S. I learned about this Schmidt piece in MusicAlly’s “Bulletin,” which only does a few stories each day, in this case seven, which is still way too many. Let that be a lesson to all you curators, less is more. Endless lists of articles go ignored.

I was looking for an outlet and then I realized I didn’t have the adapter. I’m in the BA lounge, waiting for my flight to Oslo. There’s a woman using her speakerphone in an indeterminate foreign language and it’s bothering me, you see I need to work in silence, but I will struggle through.

I’m fascinated by foreign security. How the system seems so much more efficient. We nationalized the TSA and all we hear is guns get through. I can’t imagine that happens in the U.K.

I took a BA, British Airways that is, flight from L.A. And I’m here to tell you not to. I thought that BA caught up with Virgin, but they had such a fakokta seating system it blew my mind. Every other airline gives you nearly a compartment in business class, but in an effort to make more money BA has this layout… It’s essentially 8 across, with curved windows, and stools for your feet, and all during the flight little kids were leaving the center section and stomping on my toes. And I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for the fact that this flight cost deep four figures. For that price, they should treat me like a king. Which BA’s partner airline, American, does on this same route. I’m not paying, but I feel like complaining, even though I know it’s falling on deaf ears. You see we all hate the airlines, as we should, except for those privileged to fly private and the self-satisfied and poor who go nowhere at all. I don’t understand how people want less regulation. Air flight is a utility. And oil prices have dropped through the floor but airline ticket prices have not. Have you flown to NYC recently? I paid nearly a grand for a coach seat, and I booked weeks before. It’s a scam. The whole country’s a scam. We lionize corporations, wanting them to endorse our efforts, while they keep squeezing us for profits for their shareholders. As for BA coach… Eegads, I snuck a peek and I’ve never seen such little legroom.

As for LAX. Actually, before LAX…

I took Uber to the airport. I’m so fearful of getting a lousy rating that I didn’t call early, I mean use the app to get a driver early, because if they had to wait while I was schlepping my stuff from my house… And then, since I was going to the airport, no one wanted to pick me up and I had to wait the better part of ten minutes and then I was worried about being late, and I’m paranoid about not making the international cutoff time, which is strictly enforced. But my Uber driver was friendly and nice and driving while he worked on his standup career. Yes, I talk to the driver, worried once again I’m going to get a bad rating. And it turns out there are open mics every night, but there is no audience, not a real one anyway. Rather, it’s just a bunch of comics, who don’t laugh. But at least this guy is paying his dues. Which seems anathema in the music business, where everybody wants to have success instantly or keeps telling you how many dues they’ve paid.

And security at LAX…

I just don’t get it, the richer you are, the skinnier you are. There’s a national scourge of buttless women. Sure, Kim K. has an ample booty, supposedly surgically-enhanced, but the true upper class, the educated as well as wealthy, barely eats and must buy its jeans in the boys’ department. It’s a national competition, seeing if you can make your butt disappear. As for the men, most appreciate a little meat on the bone. And the overweight poor seem to be having all the fun. Knowing there’s no upward mobility they eat and drink and screw and are happy in ways the uptight uppers are not. At least that’s the way I see it.

But what blows my mind is how inefficient the scanning system is at the Bradley terminal. They’re constantly running out of plastic bins, people are swiping them from other lines, and there are people cutting in, really, and it’s all so frustrating and so unlike Heathrow.

So we landed. One good thing about flying in an A380 is the ride, it’s like traveling on your living room couch. But the lighting was so bad, such a tiny beam built into the seat, that I was frustrated reading the newspaper and switched to magazines. Have you noticed every album in “Rolling Stone” gets a three star review? It’s kind of funny, kind of like the magazine. Which was nearly unreadable, just endless press releases. Is this what the new regime has wrought? But after dinner I went back to the Jonathan Franzen book, which is blowing my mind. Because it’s all about interior life, which is rarely seen or heard in America today. What people think, who they truly are, what they feel like as they roam the planet… That’s the conundrum, we’re all in it together, but we all feel so alone. As for the Franzen book, “Purity” in case you’re playing the home game, if I printed a page here all hell would break loose. Because the truth hurts. The truth is we’re screwed up sexual beings who feel guilty for being so, because society says we’re bad. And there are constant truisms in “Purity,” which resonate and make me feel connected, which is what we’re all striving for, like this musing on fame:

“‘Here are two true things about fame,’ he said. ‘One is that it’s very lonely. The other is that the people around you constantly project themselves onto you. This is part of why it’s so lonely. It’s as if you’re not even there as a person. You’re merely an object that people project their idealism onto, or their anger, or what have you. And of course you can’t complain, can’t even talk about it, because you’re the one who wanted to be famous.'”

I have a miniscule amount of fame, but I know what Franzen is talking about here. I will get e-mail in response to this missive that excoriates me for going off topic, going on too long, not satisfying, not filling some deep hole inside the reader, who is angry, not at me, but with his or her own life. He or she did not fly to London on business class. He or she is struggling and is frustrated and is venting upon me, who is enjoying the perks of who I am but is concomitantly depressed that I’m not bigger than I am.

Ah, the conundrum.

Anyway, Felice and I deal with airports differently. Felice goes by instinct, I need to get directions, I need to feel comfortable, I don’t want to make a mistake. Not that F. is with me, she gave up coming when she realized all we do is talk business. But I thought of her as I wondered how I was going to get to my connecting flight. I wish I had my Fitbit, I must’ve gone 10,000 steps getting to where I am now. And I eventually ended up at a security checkpoint that I failed.

That’s right. We lined up in fours. We took our bins from beneath the rollers and filled them… Only I travel too heavy and had too much stuff and how do I put it all in one bin and will my laptop be injured by the equipment stacked upon it, yes, I removed my Mac.

But after scooting through the scanner the techs readjusted my stuff, got another bin, but then…my stuff didn’t make it to me. Oh, a bit of it did, but not enough.

I’m sorry, I’m starting to rush. I misread my ticket. I thought I had to board at 12:45, when the truth is the doors close at 12:45. So I’m getting anxious, and I’m speeding through the part of the story I wanted to tell. Which is how efficient and magical the security system at Heathrow is. How the plastic bins recycle automatically. And, when they find an offending bag… It scoots behind a plastic wall all by itself. Well, the rollers change direction and it’s pushed there.

And I’m marveling at this. And how the bin has an electric tag delineating the exact default. And I’ve got to wait for them to get to my stuff, the techs are backed up, and when they do, they rip my bag apart, literally, Velcro is separating, and they’re swiping and not only are they going over my iPad and my Kindle, but the white power brick to boot. They’re taking no chances.

I’ve got to wrap this up, I’ve got a flight to catch.

I LOVE this album, it’s a complete return to form after too many mellow offerings, it’s got everything I always loved about Kenny and MORE!

That’s right, he was country’s biggest star, the entertainer of the year, and then…he was eclipsed by Taylor Swift and Luke Bryan and it looked like he was in the rearview mirror, despite a few hits, and then he dropped THIS!

In 2014. I know, I’m late to the party. But I was reading a story about Kenny that got me intrigued and I checked it out and there was this one moment…

I’ll get there, but the point is in country they’ve still got room for you if you’ve made it. The stars are not one hit wonders. And too many of the lyrics here are generic, but this is the straight ahead rock we were inured to forty years ago, that we yearn for, right here on this little LP, with only 39 minutes of music that leaves you wanting more. Imagine that! Someone who saw no need to fill a CD, especially now that CDs are history. I’ve been playing this album incessantly for a week and my only regret is I have to wait for new material.

So, without further ado…

ROCK BOTTOM

This is the song that sealed the deal, that made me love this album. It’s the sound. The descending notes in the intro…I got caught up in the groove and I’ve never left it. “Rock Bottom” ultimately rocks hard with references to AC/DC and my only regret is I was out of town when Kenny played the Rose Bowl, because I’m dying to throw my fist in the air as I sing along. Come on, fat guitars, Marshall stacks, lyrics about hitting the bottom and bouncing back, what more could you ask for?

A wailing instrumental section, that’s what. With a southern rock groove that has you banging your head like Beavis and Butt-head are your best friends. Whew!

DON’T IT

This is the best song on the album. Comes right after “Rock Bottom,” a great one-two punch. But “Don’t It” is slower and evidences even more despair…

Life has its way of movin’ you on, don’t it

Ain’t that the truth! Life is about doors closing, not opening. And then you’re forced to go in a certain direction and find out…

Life has its way of keepin’ you strong, don’t it

Live long enough and you’ll realize this, you get stronger with the lessons you learn.

I’ve been right and I’ve been wrong
Somewhere in between for so long

Those with wisdom know this, you don’t always have all the answers, but you make the best of it.

Ah, this song is just like life, with more questions than answers, but you’ve got no other option than to keep on keepin’ on.

TIL IT’S GONE

This was a number one country track, and the descending notes hook you and won’t let you go. And it seems so simple, yet it’s so right.

But if you hang in there long enough, you’ll experience the real magic.

That’s right, you think the song is over, at 3:08 it fades out and almost comes to a complete stop and then…it goes on for another minute plus and you’re reminded of Clapton and the rest of the Fillmore bands who loved to play so much that they just couldn’t stop, their fingers kept picking as you were locked in the groove. Pure magic.

AMERICAN KIDS

Speaking of number ones, this made it too.

And I used to hate this cut and then I heard it so much that I got it.

It’s so simple, almost a novelty track, but then you get hooked and you smile and look forward to hearing it.

WILD CHILD

With Grace Potter.

A summer afternoon in the hammock song, it sneaks up on you, it seems formulaic, but its simplicity and quietude get under your skin.

Another number one, which is three already on this LP, if you’re counting.

SAVE IT FOR A RAINY DAY

Not number one yet, this is all about the chorus…

‘Cause the sun’s too bright
The sky’s too blue
Beer’s too cold to be thinkin’ ’bout you
Gonna take this heartbreak and tuck it away
Save it for a rainy day

Optimism in the face of defeat. We’ve all got to pick ourselves up off the floor at some point, and this song is a great soundtrack.

DRINK IT UP

Sounds like a rock song from ’73, albeit with a twangy vocal from the boy from Tennessee.

You think it’s easy to write a simple hit?

Just ask Steve Miller…

I love the stinging guitar, I still love the sound of a guitar, plug it into the amp, let it wail and squeeze all the bad thoughts out of my brain, that’s the power of rock and roll.

BEER CAN CHICKEN

Maybe the weakest song on the album, I like that they made a whole song out of this concept, but… Really, beer can chicken?

But the truth is this track is wholly listenable, there’s not a single clunker on this album. And “Beer Can Chicken” has got a killer chorus you can sing along to.

FLORA-BAMA

The other weakest cut on the LP, but with big guitars and hooks nonetheless. And dynamics. You end up nodding your head from side to side with the beat. And isn’t that what the best music does, penetrate us and draw us in?

IF THIS BUS COULD TALK

If you don’t think of Jackson Browne’s “The Load-Out” when you hear this, you haven’t heard the original…

Not that this is a rip-off, it’s mostly reminiscent in concept, but it does start off quietly in the same way. But Jackson’s track goes over the top when David Lindley starts singing “Stay,” there’s no moment like that in “If This Bus Could Talk,” but there is story and sincerity and the more I hear it, the more I like it.

Because the truth is, it’s all about the rock and roll dream. Which so many of us still believe in. If we can’t be in the band, we have the fantasy that if we just follow the act from town to town, our lives will be happy, everything will work out.

Many years of summers and I hope it never ends
Been down so many highways, full of twists and turns and bends
We caught lightning in a bottle, somehow we survived it all
All the stories he could tell, if this bus could talk

Life… It’s about experiences, and the stories attendant thereto.

And what do they say, music is the soundtrack to that?

And we revere those who make it, because their tunes are an integral part of our lives. We know their songs by heart. And if they do it right, they’ve got an audience ’til they die, because…

We just can’t get enough.

Get ready for the big revival.

Drop the proverbial needle, get in the van, and go for a ride with today’s rock and roll, otherwise known as country music. It’s not testing any limits. Dylan can sleep at night, the lyrics are not challenging our brains. But…in this crazy world where we’re overwhelmed with input and feel like a square peg in a round hole Kenny Chesney’s “The Big Revival” just feels right, is a good sound to help you through…and what’s wrong with that?

Rhinofy-The Big Revival