We tend to think life has an on/off switch. You’re either alive or your dead. But it rarely goes down that way.

We thought our classic rock stars were forever. Until they weren’t. They were going to go on tour, maybe walking and playing a bit more slowly, singing in a lower key, but they’d be right there on stage and then POOF, they’d’ be gone.

Happened with Jeff Beck. And then there are acts that are sick but unless you’re inside the circle you don’t know, like Glenn Frey and Jimmy Buffett. The former died before his time, at age 67, which may seem old to many, but not to today’s baby boomers. Glenn was ripped-off. Then again, you can’t fight father time and you can’t fight your genes. Sure, bad behavior can shorten your life, you can become a member of the 27 Club, but oftentimes you’re just minding your own business and…that twinge, that symptom that you think will go away doesn’t and suddenly you find yourself on the wrong side of the line. Happened to Peter Frampton. Who gets kudos for going on record about it, because most men do not.

What exactly was Donald Trump rambling about at West Point yesterday? Now he’s got those on the left wondering about dementia. Can you really attribute it to the weave? Are we seeing the Donald decline in plain sight like we did Joe Biden, with all his supporters and inside acolytes denying what we see with our own eyes as if they’re sweepers on a curling sheet?

Then there are the six Democratic members of Congress who passed in the past year. Can happen to anyone, but odds are it will happen more to the aged. Seventy is not the new forty, fifty or even sixty. Your attitude can’t fight genetics. We have better health care, but everybody deteriorates over time. It’s a shock, assuming you’re tested. I had a clear carotid artery scan in the nineties, but not recently. And when I bring it up to most people, even those with heart attacks in their families, they almost all say they’ve never even had this test. They’d rather live in ignorance, believing they’re going to last forever, like Warren Zevon, who might have been saved if he’d gone to the doctor earlier, but he didn’t.

So we’ve been laughing for decades about the Stones. You’d better go see them now because it could be the last time. But they keep keepin’ on. We expected Keith to go first, but out of the blue Charlie died, the Big C got the drummer, and it could get you too.

But you don’t believe it. And you believe if you’ve got it you’re going to fight it, even though science says otherwise. Your mental attitude has nothing to do with your results/possible recovery. Not a thing. You go through the course of treatment and you see what happens. And the weird thing is the person on the precipice usually makes peace with their passing just before they go, even though those who remain cannot.

But life goes on. That’s the amazing thing. LBJ was sworn in on the plane back from the assassination of JFK. Nobody is indispensable, everybody is expendable, we circle the wagons, squeeze into your space and go on, not because we’re a*sholes, but because that’s the nature of being human, it’s in our DNA to survive.

As for Billy Joel… For a long time he was like Meat Loaf, an absolute icon on the east coast, but not so much on the west. They never played “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” on the radio in Los Angeles, never mind most not knowing who Phil Rizzuto was. But Marvin Lee Aday is gone now. Covid got him. He refused the vaccine. I bet he’d take it now if he had the chance.

But we all get to rule our lives the way we want to. And we think this is a privilege, freedom, but in truth many are slackers, they don’t have enough money or enough character to take care of themselves. To dot the i and cross the t, to go to the dentist and doctor on a regular basis. If you’re poor you live less long, those are statistics, but we live in a world where no one believes them anyway, everybody believes they’re going to live forever.

All of my friends do, everybody in their seventies. Whether retired or not. There’s endless roadway before the sun sets. Only there’s not. Whether it be by accident, like with Dave Shapiro, or bad luck, like with Michael Leon. But everybody convinces themselves their situation is different, that they’re immune.

And despite all this talk about the aged constantly discussing their health, generally speaking men do not. They don’t admit their failings. How are you doing? GREAT! But then you dig beneath the surface, peel back the layers. and if they’ve gone to the doctor you find out this is untrue, their body is deteriorating, it’s got flaws, but they don’t want to admit it.

First it was the acts that made it in the sixties. Now it’s those who peaked in the seventies, even eighties. They’re falling off the radar screen.

But what’s worse is most of them will never be remembered, most of them are unknown by the younger generations. Those records you bought, those shows you went to, they don’t know and they don’t care and if you’re judging them for it let me quiz you on your parents’ music, I doubt you’ll know much.

So Billy Joel… He’s been married and divorced more than once. He’s been ripped-off, losing almost all of his money. He had a bad motorcycle accident. But he’s always bounced back, always.

Billy finally broke in L.A. with “My Life” in 1978. And he was one of the few classic acts who got on MTV and stayed there, Billy was a staple.

But then he decided to record no new music.

But something funny happened along the way. With no hits, his rep got even better. He went on tour with Elton John, dueling pianos, implying that he was just as big as the English star, and then he wasn’t performing that much and then he started to do big shows, even stadiums, and playing Madison Square Garden every month and…

Those MSG shows were not rote. He switched up the numbers, he had guest stars, they were positively alive. Which is kind of strange for such a big stage, most people are afraid to do this, but Billy became comfortable in his own skin, and he became even more self-deprecating, people love it when you have a sense of humor about yourself. Furthermore, he still had his chops, go to the show and you’ll be amazed. But will you be able to go anymore?

It’s not exactly clear from the stories in the press. We learned that performing made his condition worse and now he’s going to physical therapy and I’ve got no idea how this plays out, but there’s a chance you’ll never be able to see Billy Joel on stage ever again. And if you haven’t and want to, you’ll feel ripped-off.

Yes, that joke about the Stones is now true. This truly could be the last time.

It’s astounding that these old dudes (and it’s almost all males) can still ply the boards. Mick Jagger is still dancing, yet he had heart surgery. But what else are they going to do, stay home? Then again, Mick Ralphs has been in a nursing home for the better part of a decade. His playing is still stellar on the recording of “All the Young Dudes,” but he can’t play it on stage anymore. And the man who wrote it, David Bowie, will have been gone for ten years in January.

It’s a wake-up call. Then again, I seem to be the only one who wants to be conscious when I’m dying. Everybody I know wants to die in their sleep. I don’t get that. You’re alive and kicking and then you don’t wake up, having no idea that it was your last day on earth? No, I want to see it coming.

But no one sees the end of the classic rock performers coming.

Oh, they talk about it, about how their business will be missed, but now there are younger acts that can sell out stadiums.

It’s all going down the drain. It’s the nature of life. You can get plastic surgery, go on a GLP-1 and look just marvelous, but that does not change your DNA and the attrition of age.

Everybody’s in denial. Joe Biden believed he could rule until he was 86. Now it looks like he probably won’t even live that long. And we were supposed to believe too. In this artifice.

No one lives forever. Everything falls away. Billy Joel is 76. Your mom might be in her nineties, as mine was before she passed, but my dad died at 70. Sure, there are spry septuagenarians out there, but a ton are dying too.

But no one wants to talk about this, everybody wants to put on a brave face. Like I said, everybody thinks they’re going to live forever, but this is not the case.

So, if you’re in your seventies, don’t keep pushing your desires into the future. If you want to see that act, go NOW, because you may never be able to again. As for spending your money, and hopefully you have some, financial advisors will tell you one of the biggest hurdles they must overcome is convincing their clients to spend their money. Sure, if you want to save it and give it to your progeny, fine, but if you’re denying yourself…

As for medical breakthroughs… Good luck now that Trump has excised employees and wants to hold back money for research at universities. You want to pay no additional taxes, but believe me, on your deathbed, you’ll wish there was a cure.

I hope there is for Billy Joel. The last time I saw him was at the Hollywood Bowl, and I couldn’t ask for anything more, he was as good as he could have possibly been.

And I play his “Songs in the Attic” LP on a regular basis, it’s emblazoned upon my brain.

But that might be the only place it lives in the future.

“I don’t need you to worry for me ’cause I’m all right”

But fifty years later we are worried. Billy is no longer spry and neither are we.

“I don’t care what you say anymore this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone”

That’s one thing you realize as you get older, we’re all equal. And we all excel in certain areas. We may not be able to play and sing like Billy Joel, but we might be able to fix the toilet or the computer or do a whole host of other things. That was your life. And in most cases, other than your family and a few friends, you’re being left alone.

But it’s art that brings us together. And nothing so much as musicians. They sing their life, which we identify with. They make us feel connected, they give us a reason to live. They’re off on the horizon and we keep trying to get closer to them.

But ultimately it’s a mirage. They’re gone. You think you know them but you never really did. Can we really ever even know another person?

But there’s nothing worse than being alone.

All those acts from way back when, they were ubiquitous in a way today’s acts are not. EVERYBODY who was conscious in 1978 knows “My Life,” whether they liked it or not, you could not escape it.

Yes, some people hated Billy Joel, but all these years later…

The same people who hated the Carpenters now love them.

But they pushed Karen over the edge.

We all are just dust in the wind.

But that’s more than a song.

This leaving…I don’t know where to put  my emotions, which are palpable, if for no other reason than no one else admits to having them.

Maybe they do.

But maybe the only way we can connect is through the records.

Those classic rock tracks. They were more than songs, they were life itself.

But the candle does not burn forever, at some point it either burns down to nothing or gets snuffed out.

Hopefully yours won’t get snuffed out before your time.

But it could happen, never forget that.

P.S. If you type “my life lyrics” into Google (sans the quotation marks) you get J. Cole’s song from 2021, and if that doesn’t prove the point…

HAVE A PERSONALITY

Bland doesn’t work on TikTok, edge does. Doesn’t matter whether you’re likable or not, but whether you’re interesting.

DON’T BE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK

You connect most when you’re true to yourself. You’re selling yourself, you’re in the business of yourself. 

IGNORE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK

Haters come with the territory. If you post, people will hate on you. It’s hard to ignore the sh*t-talking, but if you can’t, TikTok is not for you. Too many people are afraid to play. This is less of an issue with younger generations. One must adjust to the modern paradigm, everybody has an opinion and everybody expresses it. Furthermore, people are angry that you’re posting and they are not (usually they’re afraid to), or they are posting and you have much more traction. Everybody can be picked on. The lowest form of criticism is looks-based. Don’t fall into this trap, it killed Karen Carpenter. You are who you are, own it.

ANONYMITY IS FOR PUSSIES

If you can’t own your name and identity, TikTok is not for you. You want traction, more fans, more views. And you want to be able to build on the traction you get. You don’t want to have to change your name/say who you really are down the line.

BE SEARCHABLE ELSEWHERE

If someone likes you, they want to know who you are. Make sure you have enough postings online so they can research you and feel like they know you.

POST REGULARLY

If you’re not willing to do it on a regular basis, don’t start. However, be wary of falling into the “influencer” trap. Those people always burn out, they work ’round the clock and ultimately have to stop for their mental health. If you’re out eating a burger thinking you’ve got to go home to post, you’re doing it wrong.

EVERYTHING YOU DO WON’T BE GREAT

That’s the internet paradigm, you do it until it catches on, people ignore the tripe. Don’t keep polishing one video, let it go and create another one. The best ones are when you capture lightning in a bottle, instantly…are inspired and lay it down without thinking about it. Sure, there is a business in expensive stunting…but that’s what OK Go is known for, not their music, and it costs Mr. Beast a ton of money and time. Think punk rock, not classic rock. Don’t be mad at yourself for doing something that’s not a ten. If you do enough, your average will improve and ultimately you’ll create a ten.

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

Artifice went out with the old static Instagram. Polishing your physicality doesn’t resonate with most people, they want the real you. Makeup is not anathema, as long as the people watching know you aren’t wearing makeup.

DON’T BREAK DOWN AND COMPLAIN

Life is hard for all of us. Too many posters get down in the dumps when they realize social media doesn’t solve their problems and they break down in posts talking about their personal problems… There is a business in talking about depression. But unless you have a big loss, don’t go on about it.

HAVE A SHTICK

What are you famous for? Your mode of delivery? Your jokes? Is it the way you deliver your message or the message itself? Once again, personality is key, if your posts are based on your identity you can always pivot and go into new content areas.

LOOKS COUNT

Maybe this is unfortunate for those of us who are not blessed in this area, but let’s not deny reality. The beautiful have a leg up on social media. But viewing TikTok will prove to you that there are an unlimited number of beautiful people online, that’s not enough to sustain a career. Beauty will get you started, but it won’t keep people coming back. Three-dimensional works online, not two-dimensional.

HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT YOURSELF

Don’t put yourself down to avoid feedback. But if you make a mistake, own it. Don’t go on about how stupid you are unless you truly screwed up. The smart people saying they’re stupid, the thin people saying they’re fat, they’re so caught up in the game that they can’t win. Start with truth. That’s what resonates.

GIVE VIEWERS A REASON TO COME BACK

Why do I want to see you again? You probably won’t know until you do it for a while. This is not about launching a business, this is about putting one foot in front of the other in a journey of self-discovery. You probably won’t find out what people react to until you do it for a while. But there must be something about you and your presentation that intrigues people.

PROFESSIONAL VS. AMATEUR

Anybody can play, but not anybody can win. Having said that, you can own a niche and be unknown to most people and still have quite a career. Decide if you want to make a living online or you’re just playing around. Because to succeed takes focus.

THIS IS THE GOAL

Don’t think of brand extensions, you are the act, find ways to capitalize on who you are and what you do, content as opposed to penumbra.

DON’T TRY TO GO VIRAL

Don’t second guess the audience, this has been proven to be unsuccessful over and over again. What people liked in the past does not mean they’ll like that in the future. The more you focus inward, the more success you’ll have outward.

EXPERTISE COUNTS

If your personality and delivery are not intriguing, it’s best to have expertise in an area. Could be anything, sometimes people watch just to learn, having no interest in pursuing the field.

DON’T TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY

This is a fool’s errand. You want a passionate response, not blah. You don’t want to be liked, you want to be loved. And not everybody can be loved by everybody, and you don’t have to be loved by everybody to be successful

VIEWS OR SELLS?

There is a business in being a classic influencer, gaining enough of an audience to sell products, but in doing so you lose all credibility, you’re just flavor of the moment. The low hanging fruit is attractive, but it’s a shortcut. You can talk about the products you love, but if you’re trying to sell something in the process, you’re an advertiser. Better to make the money so you can buy products as opposed to getting them for free.

COMMENTARY

Your insight must be just that, insightful, or this is a no-go. We don’t need another Trump lover or hater, but we do need educated people who can make sense of the landscape for others who don’t have enough time to research the issues or can’t see the forest for the trees. Emotion counts, but it’s better when it’s about your personal experience as opposed to the world at large unless you’re different from the average person, are a seer.

THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS

Don’t think about crossing over…to what? Successful TikTokkers get many more views than TV news and sitcoms and… Don’t try to plug your new media self into the old media game. It’s not about leveraging your fame to play in their world, you’re living in the new world, they’re living n the old, look forward, not back. If you can’t find a way to be successful online, evidencing your identity and shtick, then you don’t understand what is going on.

VIEWS ARE EVERYTHING

That’s your goal. Views pay. Literally, in dollars. Also, the more views you get the more your name has a chance to spread and that’s where opportunities lie.

SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE

TikTok is overwhelmed with people who went viral once, and are desperately trying to replicate this success and never do.

DON’T ASK YOUR AUDIENCE FOR FAVORS

Don’t ask your audience to make you a success. To spread the word on you. Either you’re good enough that they want to spread the word or you’re not. People are sick of being dunned for free work. It gives off a bad vibe.

NOT TOO LONG

Yes. Don’t fall into the musician trap of filling the sixty plus minutes on a CD. Keep it short enough to be interesting.

NO MULTIPART STORIES

Cliffhangers are for network television. Online people want it all and they want it now, give it to them. And don’t take multiple clips to tell a story that can easily be told in one.

HIT THEM WITH THE HOOK

It’s incredibly easy to thumb past a video. You have to give people a reason to watch. Start with the headline, the nougat, and then digress if you have to. Start with the chorus, not the verse.

START

This is the number one rule of social media, unless you post you’re nowhere. Better to start and be bad than try to polish a video to begin.

Tune in Saturday May 24th to Faction Talk, channel 103, at 4 PM East, 1 PM West.

Phone #: 844-686-5863

If you miss the episode, you can hear it on demand on the SiriusXM app. Search: Lefsetz

I always try to avoid the impulse to write back to you, because I know you get a lot of both really smart people and a few crazies writing to you. But I’m almost always tempted to write back. (I grew up in the New York area during the ‘70s, and did college radio, so almost everything you write resonates with me.)

But my wife has been allergic to gluten for about 10 years so we always eat cauliflower pizza. We never liked Caulipower.

But we love Milton’s Meat Lovers pizza. It’s our favorite, but sometimes Costco has it and sometimes they don’t, so we only get it when Costco has it. (When they don’t have it, we buy the Costco version with pepperoni.)

I don’t have to eat GF but that Milton’s pizza is as good as any other frozen pizza, for me.

All the best,
Chris Hall

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hi bob, this is the best cauliflower pizza ive ever had, made in USA so far only available via costco CANADA (??) it hits the sauce/cheese/crust trifecta perfectly and take additional toppings like a champ. annoying that we can’t get it here in the states.

Sabatasso’s: https://shorturl.at/bV8dz

after multiple times eating it, it has an overall flavor that might suggest ‘schwans’ home delivery contract manufacturing, but i cannot verify.

source: me working multiple pizza jobs as a starving seattle musician in the 90’s and latent pizza snob in later years.

-Nial McGaughey
hovercraft amps

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I changed my diet drastically over the last 1 ½ years and became familiar with Milton’s Roasted Vegetable Pizza at Costco.  I “doctor” it up with Italian chicken sausage (cook it first!), sliced banana peppers (remove the seeds), sundried tomatoes and low-fat turkey pepperoni…once cooked I add fresh basil…its SPECTACULAR!

My Italian mother is rolling in her grave knowing that I eat Cauliflower crust pizza as well as gluten free pasta made with chick peas!

Steve Gerardi

Indianapolis

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Spence & Co is the best supermarket nova and I’ve tried em all, it’s sliced thin and oily the way it should be all the others are trash, Cauliflower pizza is actually addictive and I highly recommend getting it fresh as it is a whole other beast from freezer, I don’t like freezer Cauliflower it’s too cardboard like but fresh it is like an umami cracker, Blaze Pizza has a good one

Stay Healthy
Gregg Simon

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Two more to add to your potential list (and I know you have written posts about both stores in the somewhat recent past):

Kirkland (Costco)

365 (Whole Foods)

Both are excellent.

As far as taste issues go, my solution (which will not work for everyone) is to add generous streams of Frank’s Red Hot sauce, right as it comes out of the oven.

If you chat with your nutritionist about it, she or he will tell you to read the ingredients labels carefully.  For those who are trying to limit cholesterol, the 365 option is certainly healthier.  It is also gluten free, and while cauliflower is naturally free of gluten, it is not true that all cauliflower pizza crusts are in fact gluten free.

jimeddy

Ann Arbor, MI

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I buy the cauliflower crust and make my own pizza. Rao’s sauce. The key is the sauce 🙂

Jake Gold

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Go to Trader Joes and just get their cauli crust. Then you can top it with whatever you want and make sure that what you put on it is delicious. It’s much better than whatever you’ll get out of a box. Making a good tomato sauce that is worlds better than anything from a jar is pretty quick and easy, or some Rao’s will do the trick too, and general better and healthier than anything you’ll find in a box. Plus then you can experiment with different flavors like BBQ chicken, Buffalo chicken, or grab some masala simmer sauce while at TJs and do a curry version. The opportunities are endless.

Cheers.

Lauren Hennessy

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Heck yeah for cauliflower pizza! Aldis has a great one in their refrigerated section. Take it home and 10 minutes it’s done. Cooked and ready to eat in 12!

Lynn Polke

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The ones at Costco are the best I’ve found.  Have fun!

-Vadim

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Bob:  I try to avoid rice but it’s a necessary evil for Indian, Mexican, and Asian comfort food — so I use Parish Rice from Louisiana (https://parishrice.com/).  Low glycemic index (41 versus 70), and 50% more protein (5g protein per serving isn’t much but it’s something).  They sell it on Amazon in 2 and 5 lb. bags, but you can buy it direct from Parish in a 25 lb. bag with free shipping at $2 per pound.

 

Best,

Lee Huddleston

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We like Caulipower but we bought a Milton’s a while ago and it’s pretty good, better than Caulipower, but the first thing we noticed was that the picture has tons of toppings but the pizza itself had hardly any! I sent a message to the company and they sent us a bunch of coupons for free pizzas (!) and a big box of cauliflower crackers, various flavors. (Crackers not so good! )

Philip Rizzo

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Cauliflower pizza from Trader Joe’s is the best on the market- I’ve tried them all.

-Kyrié von Erffa

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We love Milton’s Cauliflower Pizza. Everyone in the family enjoys it, but especially my wife, who eats no carbs or sugar. And we buy it at Costco, where it’s $16 for two pies!

Mark Pokedoff, Warrington Pa.

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For my cardboard pizza I always  cut up an onion and put it on top. Adds a ton of flavor!

Tom Hedtke

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I was reading this thinking Caulipower meh. Then you told us you discovered Milton’s. IMO there is no better gluten free pizza out there. Maybe even the best frozen pizza period. Overcook it a bit so the crust is crispy.

We always have a two-pack of the veg one from Costco in the freezer ($13.99!!!). Add turkey pepperoni and grilled artichokes, and after it’s cooked, a few sprinkles of parmesan. Perfect when no one feels like cooking or leaving the house!

I’ll check out the lox! Thanks for that tip!

Ellie Shapiro

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I’ve tried a bunch of these, Bob. Here’s my favorite. It’s really good.

Open Nature:  https://shorturl.at/1Njgg

T. G. LaFredo

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Milton’s best frozen pizza available

Clean ingredients, good taste, scratches the itch

I keep it stocked

Brett Taylor

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We’ve been eating Milton’s cauliflower pizza for years, Costco carries it. We usually add the Kirkland artichoke hearts, extra parmigiana and for protein the Citterio prosciutto that Costco carries. A few items that you can pick up at the grocery store enhance the experience.

Wendy Morris

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We’ve been eating cauliflower pizza weekly lately, and, to be honest, I can’t really tell the difference between the different brands, but my  wife adds mushrooms, olives, cheese and truffle oil to complement the basic pie.  We added pico de gallo once to good effect.  I kid myself that it’s better for me than regular pizza, since I’m glucose intolerant, so it will be interesting to see what your doctor says about their nutritional value.

Stephen Hutchinson

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miltons just needs some extra love… personally I add frozen chopped spinach, nitrate free Applegate turkey pepperoni, some extra grated Parm and onions to the veggie pizza. For frozen pizza so good. Try it…

Craig Snider

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I’m getting the vibe that you aren’t a cook, but I can tell you that it’s not too hard to make an absolutely delicious cauliflower crust pizza from scratch. Far easier than making flour pizza dough.

The Western Slope City Markets do alright— they aren’t Gelson’s or Erewhon’s or even Wegman’s but they’re not terrible.

Beth Hardy McLennan

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Given your food habits (I can’t believe you don’t eat more during winter, skiing burns up a lot of calories) I would say don’t scrimp on what you buy. Pay for the best. When it comes to smoked salmon/lox, the best I’ve ever had is from Petrossian in NYC. It’s expensive at $150 for a pound and a half but if it’s a primary source of protein…you can’t feel guilty. Gorgeous.

As the late great comic Mitch Hedberg once observed: Rice is really great if you are super hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something. Thanks anyway. I get burritos without the rice, filler indeed.

Cauliflower pizza? I don’t eat cardboard, I’m fussy and want as close to Italian pizza as you can get in the US which only measures up to about a 5 on the Italian pizza scale. I’m not worried about health aspects as the Italians have enough blue zones to indicate that they are not dying prematurely en masse from a poor diet. The quality of their food is phenomenal. You want to avoid one thing? Processed food. That’s the number one killer. Eat, be happy, unless of course you aren’t a foodie.

John Brodey

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Costco offers a Kirkland cauliflower pizza that’s very good.

Cheers,

Eric Albino

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Milton’s is the best frozen cauliflower pizza I’ve tried. Their bread and crackers are good too if you are OK with a few carbs now and then. Trader Joe’s cauliflower pizza isn’t bad either. I’ll have to give the Caulipower a try if they have it at my local Albertsons.

Take care,

Brett Patrick

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Aldi smoked salmon was my go-to for a few years (and the price was right) but lately, I’ve been buying salmon filets (at Aldi) and making gravlax and it’s even better — and less expensive — than the other stuff.

You said you don’t cook so I’m not giving you the recipe but if you’re ever interested, hit me up. It’s pretty easy and really nice, especially for Sunday brunch on a bialy.

Richard Pachter

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And I have the urge to tell you…after learning I had a liver problem I started making changes to my diet. I ordered a gluten free pizza from Pizza Pie Eatery in Tarzana. it’s a cauliflower crust too. I have grown to prefer it!! Now, the crust is much thinner, more like a flat bread then your normal pizza dough crust. It also has a slight stickiness when you chew it but I have to tell you, it’s pretty delicious! This pizza place also has a superior marinara in my opinion. It has a spicy little kick to it where many can be uber bland. Anyway, highly recommend you try it if you ever find yourself in the west valley. The only bummer is you can only get a medium one. No large!

My other new favorite is Mary’s Crackers, the everything flavor. They’re gluten free. Try them with some hummus. Really good.

Normally not a fan of gluten free stuff so I’m always on the lookout for standouts.

Cheers,

Anita Zaccaro

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A truly awesome pizza crust is chick peas. The texture is awesome and it gets crispy when baked. I would love to make my own but if you just buy chick pea crusts you can pile on your own favorite stuff and it tastes fresher, at least for home made.

Robert Falgiano

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Hi Bob! Long time listener first time caller ?

Can’t say I expected a gluten free pizza review in the Lefsetz Letter but would love to send mine your way to try!

Four Cheese Pizza

The crust is made from chickpeas, a good source of protein and fiber.

No pressure either way. Appreciate your writing, frequently gives me a good laugh.

Brian Rudolph

Banza

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Now you’re getting into something that’s really important Bob! Politics and Muso biz wisdom aside, this is serious talk. I’m a foodie and a cook around the house and also trying to eat more healthy as I became a senior.

The wheat our grandparents used to eat is not the GMO wheat the FDA is cramming down our throats during the last half century. I am not allergic to gluten in wheat but it does give me acid reflux, fatigue, gas, and a bad breath from the sugar content inside gluten. I just feel better when I eat gluten-free products.

Califlower crust pizza dough is one of those so this has become a passion for me as a cook.

Yes good old New York thin crust pizza tastes the best because of the upstate water and maybe even the non-GMO Italian grade AA flour some pizzerias import. The gluten makes that delicious cracker crust that holds together so well and is crunchy on the palette. This is the standard of perfect pizza pie. When I’m in NYC every year I eat this gluten-laden delight because it is so perfect.

But every other pizza made west of the Mississippi sucks in my opinion. (the exception is Mozza on Melrose who imported all their ingredients including the NYC water}

So I started making califlower crust pizza out here in CA.

I make them for our band rehearsals and the band loves the way I prepare them. They are no longer skeptics and always ask when I schedule a rehearsal, “are you going to make that great pizza again?!” So I know it’s working.

I use a premade frozen cauliflower crust pizza shell made by a company called Oggi that’s just perfect. Just the right blend of cauliflower, rice, amaranth, and potato flours. The trick is to pre-bake the shell to dry out the crust a little. Gluten free dough is a different consistency as you have stated here in your letter. It has to be baked a little longer to get that slightly burnt, crunchy crust.

Then remove the pre baked crust from the oven and slather it with your favorite pizza sauce, pasta sauce/paste, or pesto and assemble your favorite toppings. I’ve even steered away (pun intended) from using cow cheese these days and using Spanish sheep Manchengo cheese as I am cow milk intolerant. It melts great and everyone seems to love it.

But if done correctly, gluten-free crust pizza can still be a delicious comfort food that rivals NYC-style pie.

Kenny Lee Lewis

Steve Miller Band

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For whatever reason, every time I read the word “caulipower”, I laughed.

especially now that I realize you had to correct autocorrect each time.

XO

Jimmy Kimmel