This is HYSTERICAL! And INFORMATIVE TOO!

If “Tales From The Tour Bus” was on Netflix it would be a juggernaut.

Alas, it’s on Cinemax.

Distribution is king. Emblazon that in your brain and never forget it. Ignore all the hogwash about Adele and Taylor Swift and their CD sales. By keeping their albums off streaming services they hurt their careers. Swift’s “Reputation” has stalled, it’s stiff, and Adele’s “25” did boffo at the b.o. but had almost no impact on the culture, the songs are unknown, BECAUSE SHE PUT IT BEHIND A PAYWALL!

You think you’re winning by thinking about money first. But the internet has taught us since day one that you think about money LAST! That’s how all the tech titans achieved dominance. There was no business model at Google, no ads to begin with. Amazon kept reinvesting profits whilst keeping prices low. But in the entertainment business we kept hearing they were stealing our wares and no one would want to create anymore. I wish they didn’t, I’m overwhelmed with product, there’s more of everything now, it’s hard to break through.

So you pay attention to the buzz.

Cinemax did a good job promoting “Tales From The Tour Bus,” it’s just that it was for naught, because the show was behind a paywall that very few had the key to. Maybe ten million households, and most of them probably don’t care about this show anyway. Everything is niche today. It’s about appealing to those who do care. And in a country of 330 million, one percent can keep you alive and ten percent means you’re as rich as anybody, but people have to be able to kick the tires, check you out, or you’re dead in the water, they’re always making new product and it becomes harder and harder to gain traction with the old.

Now MTV existed in a different era. One of monoculture. And the wizards there decided to give “Beavis and Butt-head” a platform, and overnight it dominated. Execs have to take chances, say yes. That’s what’s wrong with America, never mind the entertainment business, too many people saying no. And Mike Judge built an entire empire on the back of “Beavis and Butt-head,” “King Of The Hill,” and “Silicon Valley,” and now “Tales From The Tour Bus,” when rock stars were rock stars and you still don’t know much of their story. Hell, I learned more about Jerry Lee Lewis in this half hour program than a lifetime of reading about him.

First and foremost it’s the lens. Judge’s viewpoint, with a visual sense that just cracks you up. Animated versions of people talking who were there interspliced with real footage. So you hear the Killer’s 13 year old bride talking as a cartoon and then you see the footage from the old days and it adds a spike of gravitas. Screw the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Mike Judge is doing a better job of detailing and lionizing the history of these hitmakers, and it’s without the phony comeback arc of VH1’s “Behind The Music,” it’s absolutely astounding.

There’s history here. From a different era. When the world was not a global village and there was not a camera on every corner.

Jerry Lee Lewis was dirt poor from Louisiana. He was married twice before Myra, and never even divorced. His family sold eggs to finance his trip to Memphis. After he jumped from Bible school and decided to play the devil’s music. Judge does an incredible job of illustrating this conflict. Jerry loves boogie woogie/rock and roll, but thinks he should dedicate his life to God. And maybe country music. He believes in himself, but believes he should be doing something different. Hell, I still think I should be punching a clock for an hourly wage, that’s what my mother thinks is work. If I showed up at McDonald’s I might have trouble making rent but I’d believe I’d done an honest day’s work, was a contributing member of society.

And being a good ‘ole boy Jerry Lee can see no problem with a 13 year old wife, this was before the days of publicity handlers, you can take the boy out of the swamp, but…

And he’s breaking the law and doing wrong things ad infinitum.

He shoots a band member and then fires him when he’s unable to play bass.

He talks about running over Liberace.

You think today’s TMZ denizens are rock stars? They’re not even close, they’re imitating what the classics of yore did back when. They mated their identities with the scene and we just couldn’t get enough of it. Watching Jerry Lee sing “Great Balls Of Fire” you can see the danger, which we haven’t had in music since Eminem and “Stan’ nearly twenty years ago. Hell, that was after the controversy about “Beavis and Butt-head”! We used to argue about art, now we argue about money.

And the great thing is each one of the country artists profiled have a unique story, they’re not cookie-cutter, they all didn’t go to Harvard, work with the usual suspects and take a deserved victory lap. They utilized their smarts and their talent to get ahead and sometimes it took a long time and sometimes it didn’t really happen at all.

We used to have shows like this and they would be part of the national discussion. Believe me, if this Jerry Lee episode aired on network last night, assuming last night was in the sixties, that’s all anybody would be talking about today, it’d be like “Laugh-In,” but about music, a much more powerful force than comedy.

But the two are blended here, they’ve always been in rock and roll. “Spinal Tap” was not a satire.

And I have sympathy for Mr. Judge. I’m sure this show was not easy to sell. Maybe sometime it will float to an outlet we all pay for and can see.

But right now that is Netflix. They’ve got all the eyeballs. No one else is close, not even the vaunted HBO. We’re gonna pay, but we’re gonna pay fewer and fewer outlets that are richer and more powerful and if you’re bitching about them you’re missing the point. We’ve spent two decades living in a Tower of Babel society, not watching, not seeing, not listening to the same stuff, and it’s made life so unsatisfying. We want to communicate, we want tribes concentrated around the same art, we want to lift up the great and forget the rest.

And “Tales From The Tour Bus” is better than any record other than “Despacito” this year. Because, like “Despacito,” it breaks the mold, it delivers the unexpected, it challenges your preconceptions.

We used to call that rock and roll.

THE RICH WILL GET RICHER

This is what streaming has wrought. The new income has lifted all boats, but the ones of stars much higher than those of the hoi polloi.

Used to be a fan bought a star’s album and played it incessantly but there was no more income past the sale. Now every time a fan streams a track there is payment.

Whereas fewer fans purchased the albums of journeymen, and oftentimes didn’t play them as much.

But a sale was a sale was a sale.

Now you’re not gonna make much unless your fans are streaming your songs tens of millions of times. So, if this is not in your future, don’t plan on making tons of money from recorded music. Sure, you can still sell souvenirs at your shows, vinyl, etc., but look to other income streams, like synchs. And if this frustrates you and has you feeling like a loser remember, I’m just the messenger and in a world where everything is available at our fingertips people gravitate to the most popular and well known, which is why Amazon is a juggernaut.

TICKETS WILL BE CHEAPER AND MORE EXPENSIVE

In trying to capture secondary market revenue many acts are pushing up the price of close seats, and knowing those in the upper bowl are less desirable, they’re dropping the price of those. This is still a story in progress, but unless you’re willing to pay top buck for the exact seat you want, your best bet is to wait until the very last minute to buy your tickets. You may miss out, but you may get an incredible deal. Personal scalpers, i.e. the general public, buy the hype and overpurchase with the intent to resell. And once the show plays, the brokers’ tickets are worthless. So, if you can wait, you just might see a price drop.

As for transparency…

Forget about it. The music industry doesn’t want it. It likes subterfuge, it likes trying to maximize revenue whilst pointing fingers at everyone but itself. The brokers are just filling a market hole. The ticketing company is just doing what the act tells it to do. The act likes the pre-sales. And never forget, by time you get to the public on-sale fewer than a thousand tickets can be available at the arena.

Buying a ticket is a gauntlet that is challenging to the customer.

But then there are many shows where they can’t give away the tickets.

And then there are people bitching about the fees. You like the fees, you’re cheap. StubHub went to all-in pricing and sales went down, so they reversed course. They’re not really fees, they’re just part of the package, they’re costs. It’s a way to get more money without blaming the acts. That’s right, the ticketing company is paid to take the heat.

MAJOR LABELS’ HEGEMONY IS CHALLENGED

It’s a consequence of the hip-hop resurgence. Tracks start on Soundcloud, YouTube and Spotify, and oftentimes they don’t even cross to radio, why do you need a label, to get on the “Today Show” your fans don’t watch and think is a joke?

The truth is if you license directly to the streaming service, you’re making a ton of dough, why share that with the label without transparency whose business model is theft?

The major labels control radio and TV, both of which are in decline.

The acts themselves control the internet.

CULTURE RULES

It’s what’s building hip-hop. There’s a scene. Other genres have to duplicate this, cross-pollinate, promote their heroes. Instead of bitching about streaming and the internet they should join in. Americana lives off the radar. If it went online, maybe Jason Isbell could be a bigger star. NPR and the NYT are echo chambers with limited ceilings, whereas if you can break through to the Spotify Top 50, you’ll reach everybody.

THE PLAYLIST WILL ONLY GET BIGGER

That’s name brand playlists, curated playlists, like Rap Caviar, the most important driver of consumption extant. Credit Tuma Basa, credit the power of Spotify, credit hip-hop. Expect more powerful playlists in different genres. Apple said they were going to deliver this, but none of their listmakers have gotten traction. Streaming services need to promote their listmakers, they’re the new deejays, like the old free-format deejays, picking the tunes themselves, evidencing their credibility.

AMAZON IS THE SLEEPING GIANT

Did you catch Echo/Alexa sales over Christmas? You get a free version of Amazon Music with your device. And you can upgrade to full, on demand capability. It’s like having a salesperson in your own home. Ask Alexa to play something it can’t, and it will urge you to upgrade. Amazon always plays a long game, and usually wins. We’ve evolved from iPods to iPhones to voice-controlled speakers, we are never going back, only the tweaks are gonna lift the tonearms and be involved in manual play. He who owns voice owns music, and right now Amazon is the leader by far. Sure, you can integrate Spotify and other services, but most people can’t figure that out.

Meanwhile, Apple is left in the dust. Apple appealed to all of its credit card holders, where is it going to get new customers for Apple Music? Both Amazon and Spotify have free tiers. Furthermore, Apple’s HomePod is so late in delivery it will be dead on arrival. You don’t have to have first-mover advantage as long as you’re better than competitors and they stop innovating. But the HomePod is a me-too product and Amazon keeps innovating. This is how Apple lost its power in music, by being late to streaming. Apple is hitting a wall while Amazon is coming on strong. Meanwhile, Spotify is the big kahuna, and its success is based not only on market share and free tier and first mover advantage, but technology. Spotify has traditionally had bad marketing, but the best product. Its Discover products have pushed it so far ahead of its competitors it will be difficult for them to catch up. We live in a software world. It’s all about features. But they must work and not be superfluous. Spotify has won by being young and tech-oriented, the old boomer swagger with attitude players have been eclipsed, can you hear me Jimmy Iovine?

CLASSIC ROCK

Will tour to prodigious numbers, especially now that so many players are dying, but hits will be rare or nonexistent. It’s too late, times have changed, they’ve moved on. If a classic rocker wants a hit, an almost insurmountable challenge, they must concentrate on one song and tie it into an outlet that bangs it constantly, like ESPN or a commercial.

PROTEST MUSIC

We were expecting it to look like the old hootenanny, midsixties anti-Vietnam era stuff, but in this case all the movement comes from rappers, who are speaking up against the government. Never underestimate this power. Someone will have a hit track. And culture, especially music, has power, people are influenced by it.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE CREDIBILITY

In this phony, sold-out culture, people need something/someone to believe in. If you don’t tie in with the corporation, if you don’t hang at the club, if you don’t flaunt your wealth, but you speak truth in a hit song you could win the jackpot.

IT’S A HITS WORLD

Album tracks are in hope of people streaming the playlist, most people only want to hear the hit, no matter the genre. So, forget the detritus, focus on excellence. You know it when you hear it, if you play it for someone and they don’t ask you to play it again, start over.

POP TARTS

Pressed cardboard my dad used to call ’em. Thin bread with little filling. That describes today’s pop records, massaged by the usual suspects with bland messages that don’t resonate. The Mariah Carey paradigm is dead. It’s not about pipes, but what you do with them. If pipes were important, those “Voice” winners would be all over the hit parade, but they’re not. Character is key. And honesty. Speak from the heart. When you get fifteen people writing a song you lose this. Your personal connects with people most. Don’t try to second-guess the audience. Pop drove itself off a cliff by losing its heart.

PROMOTION & MARKETING

Rarely hurts, only when it’s overdone in extremis, but has little effect. We’re overloaded, with too much product. We’re moving towards a great consolidation, the music world is incomprehensible. And the new sounds will come from the bedrooms and streets, dare to be different, but also dare to fail.

OTHER GENRES

Music is music. Something new will come along. But it probably won’t sound like what came before. Then again, the English cats were influenced by the delta-bluesmen, will youngsters be influenced by classic rockers and come up with new sounds? I wouldn’t hold your breath, it’s like waiting for that jazz comeback.

EDM

The electronic sound rules. It’s still new and different. Akin to those sounds you used to genuflect to coming from the Stratocaster and Marshall stack. When it’s all been done before, it’s the new and different that appeal. Deejays are big producers.

THE SONG

It always comes back to this. He or she who writes songs we can relate to and sing along with triumphs in the end. Once again, honesty is the best policy, sing from your heart and people will want to hear you testify forever.

They say this is the best TV show of the year.

At least some people do. EW I think it was.

I’ve got a thing for Pamela Adlon. The way she’s so little yet is willing to take up so much space. I noticed her on that old Louis CK “Honeymooners” style show on HBO, it was unwatchable but she was not. I’m drawn to anyone who breaks the norm. Although she probably breaks the norm too much for me, and would be disappointed in my wimpoid tendencies. And how do you have three kids, and raise them on your own, with enough money to make it all work.

In real life Adlon is a voiceover artist. Unknown but handsomely compensated.

Now she’s got this show on FX.

The first episode didn’t work. The problem with “Better Things” is too often there’s not enough said. They focus on mood, there are close-ups and you’re waiting for the dialogue. You realize this is the same thing Louie is doing. A brand new sliver of show-making. But I’m one who never had a problem with the Aaron Sorkin rat-a-tat-tat.

But what they’re going after, the mood they’re trying to capture, it’s spectacular. Kind of like listening to Jackson Browne’s “Late For The Sky.” That’s what the singer-songwriter thing was all about, deep feelings, more questions than answers, that’s something that’s gone from the hit parade, which is probably why it’s so less appealing to me. There are a ton of boasters, a ton of fakers, but very few who are real.

Adlon is not afraid to be hated by her kids. A revelation after boomer parents who insisted on being their progeny’s best friend. Disappointed in themselves if they didn’t live up to some mythical standard. Adlon is more like our parents, she’s doing her best, and she’s not always getting it right, but she’s soldiering on.

And although you can see the trappings of her lifestyle, it’s not Kardashian-esque, all her friends are not beautiful and fabulous, it’s the anti “Real Housewives” paradigm.

And when she tells off that guy she’s been screwing…

Maybe the rapists don’t ask you if you came, but the sensitive guys frightened by Me Too always get around to asking this question, they want to be liked, they want to deliver. And when you’re not happy, they are not.

Adlon has sex before they go out so she doesn’t have to go home with him. She’s giving him what he wants, even though he can sense she doesn’t want to. And when he gets indignant, she lets into him… I don’t think I could handle this in real life, but when Adlon settles the score, talks about sucking his dick and performing up to his high maintenance standards we can see that oftentimes it’s the men who are needy, and the women who are in control. Modern life is so confusing, and it’s not always funny.

You set on a path and then it closes out. Everybody who was married when you were divorced is now uncoupled. And you wince at the way you behaved in previous relationships. Growing old is learning to let someone be themselves, however difficult this might be. You think you want everything, when you’re lucky if you get something.

And then Adlon meets someone kinda right. And the truth is do women want a sensitive guy or not, I’m not sure. They used to say they did, before sexuality permeated everyday life to the degree it now does. Now if you’re too sensitive you’re kicked to the curb. But this guy is trying to get it right and explaining himself and that can either bond you together or pull you apart. I remember one late night conversation in bed where I laid it all out, my history, my flaws, figuring this was the end, but it made us closer than ever before. But a few days later I said something I shouldn’t have and I pulled away, my shrink said I was freaked out about being too close.

And the shrink reference may make you laugh, but if you think you know where you’re going in this life, have got it together, you’re sorely mistaken.

So I continue to watch “Better Things,” for these moments. When Pamela Adlon is at loose ends. When she’s marching forward when she doesn’t have the wherewithal. When she says it would be great if her ex came by for dinner more, but she just can’t handle it.

How do we handle life when we’re middle-aged?

We’re too old for songs.

We’ve got feelings we too rarely verbalize. We want to share, but we don’t want to be judged.

Then we stumble on to something like “Better Things” and we get a glimpse of our inner life, we no longer feel so alone, we recognize it’s not about winning, but coping, waiting for the resonant moments.

This is art.

Better Things

And the Trumpers are saying the holiday’s been stolen.

If you look at the Spotify US Top Fifty your eyes will bug out. Nine of the top ten are Christmas songs, the only exception is #10, Post Malone’s “rockstar.”

But the next ten, that’s right, from #11-20, are all Christmas songs.

And of the next ten, #21-30, only Lil Pump’s “Gucci Gang” is non-Christmas.

There are four non-Christmas tracks in the bracket from #31-40.

And half of the last ten of the fifty are Christmas cuts.

Meanwhile, if you look at the iTunes charts, you’ll see none of this reflected.

The people want Christmas music. The move to streaming is an even bigger game changer than the move to SoundScan.

You see it’s all about consumption, that’s how you get paid. We want to know what people are listening to.

And we have no way of knowing consumption with sales. Did you buy it and file it or play it incessantly?

One thing’s for certain, the Taylor Swift juggernaut is not, which is one reason ticket sales are soft. Ms. Swift only has ONE song in Spotify’s Top 100 Tracks of 2017. And it’s in the bottom half. (Although her duet with ZAYN from “Fifty Shades Darker” is #10.)

The big winner? Ed Sheeran, with four tracks on the chart, including #1 with “Shape Of You.” Proving once again that the Grammys have their head up their behind. Come on, what’s wrong with this picture, man writes songs with changes and hooks that all can sing along to and he’s snubbed?

We’re in for a realignment, wherein all the old metrics are cast aside in favor of true consumption, streaming numbers.

The first to go is sales. It’s a de minimis part of the financial picture now anyway.

Next is radio. Yes, radio is powerful, but it’s losing said power each and every day as youngsters forgo its passive listening paradigm in favor of an active, on demand one. Radio lost touch decades ago, with phony deejays playing the same cuts. The public has rejected radio the same way they threw over CDs during the Napster era.

But what the Christmas dominated chart tells us is catalog counts. Just because you’re not in the news, not putting out new hits, it does not mean you’re forgotten. People remember, they want to hear your songs, they want to see you in concert, you’re gonna make bank forever. Think about this, used to be your income from recordings expired. No one bought new ones, if they could even find them in the store. Sure, you got publishing on radio in the U.S., but what if you didn’t write the song? This is one of the silver linings in favor of oldsters who keep bitching streaming will kill them when it’s keeping them alive, giving them another bite at the apple.

As for the Christmas chart, Mariah Carey dominates, her “All I Want For Christmas Is You” is number one, with daily plays of 2,075,827 and a cume of 311,319,704. Hell, she could be the new Trans-Siberian Orchestra, doing a Christmas tour, despite all her faux pas, the country still demands her.

Brenda Lee is number 2.

And from there on it’s a cornucopia of old and new holiday cuts.

Wham!’s “Last Christmas” is #4, and lo and behold, BURL IVES is #7 with “A Holly Jolly Christmas”! I haven’t listened to him since I was in single digits!

Jose Feliciano is a holiday star. Judy Garland too.

You need to get in on this action. Sure, cover the classics, but you’re gonna have a hard time competing with the oldsters. Your best bet is to record an original, try and write a classic. That’s right, acts have been shooting too low, with cash-in cover albums. Better to have one superhit that can sustain! Songwriters, start your engines!

And if you’ve got new product, WAIT UNTIL JANUARY!

No one wants to hear it, not now.

As for all you oldsters saying only the younger generation streams… Do they really want to hear Eartha Kitt and Perry Como?

And of course some of these numbers are high as a result of playlists.

But this ain’t Pandora, with its crappy payouts. Sure, some of Spotify’s plays are on its free tier, but so many are on the paid tier and paying more.

And sure, you can get lucky and have someone stream your cover crapola album, but…

You want the hit. The chart is an endless parade of classics.

Now if someone were smart, and the music business is not, every year they’d put out a Christmas album with today’s hitmakers, try to get in on some of that chart action. Yup, Post Malone would be better off putting out Xmas music in December, Taylor Swift too. And the barrier to entry is so damn low. You record it and post it. You get caught up in the tsunami of holiday play, publicity isn’t even that important.

We’re in a funny period. The oldsters hate the youngsters’ music yet the youngsters’ music has less dominance than ever before. Most people have never heard Post Malone. Most don’t even know the music on Swift’s new album. So the young and old are coexisting, and at this point in time some of the classic acts are getting traction on streaming, they’ve got over 100 million streams on Spotify, their fans have moved over. But before rock came country. Sam Hunt is in the Spotify Top 100 Tracks of 2017, although he does skew young. And “Body Like A Back Road” is only 2:45. Almost all the hit songs are under four minutes long. You get paid the same amount if it’s shorter. Does it pay to stretch out, should you stretch out? Once again, the medium affects the art.

So now that we know December is for Christmas music…

Is there another time of year that has a particular sound?

We’re gonna learn this and so much more.

It ain’t the baby boomers’ music business anymore.

P.S. You can get a look at the Spotify Top 200 here right now, just never forget it changes EVERY DAY, the once a week chart is ANTIQUATED!:

Spotify charts regional