You have to order the black Uber.

I was going to the museum. I figured I’d spring for Premier. But what turned up was a car of no denomination, at least not one I could decipher, with a broken seatbelt driven by a guy who didn’t speak English. I figured it was just India. No! Turns out there’s another Uber page, so on the way back I sprang for the best, which turned out to be a Toyota Innova. I know, I know, we don’t have that car in the States. It’s like a mini minibus. A three row car. Which cost me all of ten bucks, instead of the four it took to get there in the “Premier,” that’s right, India’s cheap, not that I’ve got a handle on it, for that I’d have to stay here months!

You learn by asking questions. One person told me only the top five artists could tour, the rest were too busy playing weddings, devaluing their brand. But another person told me scores of acts could tour, but in both cases they said the public doesn’t like to pay. Forty percent might buy a ticket and the rest get in for free. But aren’t the paying customers pissed? They said no. What is the truth, that I’m trying to find out.

Troy Carter hipped me to a book called “Factfulness,” recommended by Bill Gates, its author posits that it’s not as bad as you think, we believe outside of the U.S. and Western Europe it’s all third world, with no education and no medical infrastructure, but that’s the way it used to be, fifty years ago, twenty, but so much progress has been made recently.

I was looking for poor people.

Privak told me there weren’t any. But did he say this because he’s an Indian? Kinda like “Wild Wild Country,” Privak believes the Bhagwan was for real, the American press depicts him as a charlatan. That’s right, we compared notes on Netflix, if you’re not international, you’re doomed, kinda like Pandora.

So we’re driving…

Oh, that’s right, the traffic. Tuesday it was insane. A free-for-all. If you’re not willing to spot barely an inch between you and the next vehicle you’re not made for Indian driving. And then there are the motorized rickshaws, little black and yellow beetles, with three wheels and a polished plastic top. They’re darting in and out of traffic, shuttling school kids, people in full religious garb… That’s another thing in Mumbai, you’re not sure whether to heed the warnings. The street food looks delicious. In New York, you’d partake, but here? And everywhere else in the world you walk the street and are afraid, but natives told me India was safe. I just came back from a walk along the strand, I was literally the only white person I encountered in an hour. Some people looked at me funny, I was a bit self-conscious, now I know what it’s like to be a minority.

So Tuesday Ralph and Privak and another associate took me to the Gateway of India. Built by the British, they exited through it when they left. And it’s there that the terrorists entered when they went to bomb the Taj Mahal Hotel and Leopold’s to shoot up the place. You remember. Or maybe you don’t, maybe it has to happen in the States for it to register. Anyway, a group of Pakistani terrorists bombed the hotel and then went to Leopold’s restaurant and killed people there. So now there’s security, like at my hotel, the Taj Lands End, they lift the hood and the trunk of every car before they let you in the driveway. And they scan your body and your goodies before they let you inside. So, once again, I ask you, is Mumbai safe or not? I don’t know!

But I do know that you cannot feel safe in transportation, just because you’re not driving that does not mean you’re immune. I wondered how there were not more accidents and then BAM! We got rear-ended. I’m thinking about my back, I’m thinking I’d better buy one of those international health policies.

And we drove by this high-rise which was the house of some billionaire, it’s got six hundred rooms, or so they say, it has so much security outside you’d think it’s a military outpost.

But so many of the buildings are schmutzy, they need a paint job.

And nearby the hotel they’re camped out in droves hoping to get a peek at a Bollywood star, I can’t remember his name, but it wouldn’t mean anything to you anyway.

But Bollywood is even bigger than the legend. You know how you go to a place and you find out things are overblown? Not Bollywood. It runs the music business. It’s all about having your track in a film. And there are “playback artists,” who sing the songs for the actors, they’re known by name, they can go on tour, Bollywood is big business, far bigger than the movie business in America in terms of social, political and music business.

So the Brits have been coming here for centuries. Like the Beatles, looking for enlightenment, looking for answers.

Is it achievable here?

I don’t know.

But it is hot and it is humid and if you live in Los Angeles you might consider it to be unbearable. Then again, people live in Miami. And as bad as the weather is in NYC, people stay there.

And speaking of people, the young ones are trying to stand out, via fashion.

I’m literally halfway around the world, twelve and a half hours ahead of L.A., and I’d like to tell you it’s the same, but it isn’t!

P.S. Although everybody has a smartphone, iPhones are exotic. You can buy cheapies for far under a hundred bucks.

P.P.S. Everybody says people don’t like to pay for music. And right now, a streaming subscription costs you a dollar or two a month. And you might think no one can afford it, but everybody here says they can. They say music was devalued in the cassette era, when albums were sold for twelve cents. That’s right.

P.P.P.S. They skip generations here. Outside the metropolis there is no cable, it’s all about mobile. You do everything on your phone. When we go to 5G in the States, watch out for this. I’m sick of paying Charter $200 a month. Oh, if I cancel TV the internet rate just goes up. Technology can disrupt anything, be prepared.

P.P.P.P.S. My favorite exhibit at the museum was the history of man. And what’s interesting is like the Jews, they used the term CE, not AD, and BC. As in “Common Era’ and “Before Common Era.” Sure, Jesus is here, but he does not dominate, the foremost religion is Hinduism. And once we stop fighting over religion, there could be peace in the world.

P.P.P.P.P.S. The best stop was at the train station. That’s one legend that’s true, public transportation is crowded! They literally have to squeeze you on. But the trains… They look like they were built in the forties, they’re dark and dirty and you stay in them for days, just like out of a movie. As for buses, I’ve yet to see a clean one, or a new one.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. There are beggars, there are people with no shoes, never mind teeth. They coexist with the wealthy. And in the middle of the street I saw four guys towing a stand of bamboo, which is used for scaffolding. That’s right, the past and the present coexist.

Spotify’s in trouble, its licenses are going to expire!

Nicki Minaj produced a tweetstorm about Spotify, claiming the company put the kibosh on her album!

Music distribution is mature. The news outlets don’t want this to be so, so they keep printing headlines that make you think otherwise. But the truth is the music business was in turmoil for fifteen years, but now it’s not. Now it’s a matter of how great your music is and whether you can develop a fanbase, the rest is just a sideshow.

That’s right, for fifteen years there were issues of piracy, a fight for the future, but music was the canary in the coal mine for digital distribution, it was disrupted first, and it’s the only medium that’s figured out a solution, all songs, on demand, for a low monthly price.

Don’t argue with the future, don’t go against the big boys (and girls!)

Every day I get e-mail from individuals saying they’ve solved the music distribution problem, that they’ve got a better Spotify. Don’t they get it, Spotify won! Not only Spotify, but Apple and Amazon, you’ve got to heed Peter Thiel’s mantra, go where the competition ain’t. It’d be like someone e-mailing you they’ve got a Netflix competitor, just ready to roll out, that will be more producer-friendly and will pay creators better. Huh? The ship has already sailed.

If you’re a marginal artist, and by that I mean by income, use the new tools to your advantage, don’t rail against them. You’ve got low streaming payments because few people are listening. Yes, I get it, in the old days you made more with a ten dollar CD, but chances are you wouldn’t have a record deal and wouldn’t be able to play the game at all. And you wouldn’t be able to have direct contact with your fans. Something is lost in every step forward, but the gains outweigh the losses. But that does not mean people won’t bitch. And marginal news outlets won’t gin up headlines to get you excited over nothing.

Spotify ain’t going out of business, it’s quite simple, they are the labels’ biggest customer! Sure, there are strengths on both sides of the aisle, you negotiate to the best of your ability, utilizing your leverage, but putting Spotify out of business would be like refusing to sell through Amazon, and now even Nike does that. But the problem is musical people speak from their hearts, their emotions, they don’t seem to have a business overview. The labels want Spotify to survive. They want to get paid!

As for all the writers…

You can’t make any money in journalism anymore, and music scribes are the serfs of journalism. On the low end, they’re uneducated nincompoops beholden to artists and labels and on the high end they’re self-publishers trying to sell views, self-anointed experts who are anything but. As for “Billboard,” it decided to play to the public and now it’s neither a trade nor a consumer publication and its charts are so out of touch as to be meaningless. Nicki Minaj is right there, about gaming the numbers by selling merch with the product. Of course this should be outlawed, but she does it too! But why “Billboard” does not go to a straight streaming chart and…

Being #1 is just a circle jerk, a way to make you feel good about yourself. The only question is whether you can sustain, whether you can build a fanbase that will support you. But there’s no chart for that.

And we live in a TMZ world, where it’s about evanescent headlines, as if they meant anything. Ever wonder why the truly rich don’t brag, don’t want people or the government in their business? Only musicians are dumb enough to believe chart numbers count. They’re laughed at by the true players, who drop seven figures for a private while they talk through your performance. Used to be musicians spoke truth to the man, now musicians are slaves to the man, despite believing otherwise. Just like the public they sell to, consumers at the tit of consumption.

So if you’re a musician, know that there’s plenty of money if you gain success. And you gain success on your own terms. But really, it comes down to ticket sales and merch counts, how many fans do you have and how rabid are they, and there’s no “Billboard” chart that illustrates this, as a matter of fact it’s inside information most people are not privy to and the holders of this data don’t want it revealed. They don’t want to talk about papering houses, what really sells, they just want to blow smoke that you believe is truth.

Kinda like the journalism in the music business.

And Tommy doesn’t know what day it is

They upgraded me to first class. That’s right, I checked in and was walking towards the plane and the clerk stopped me and asked me if I was traveling alone, and she gave me a new ticket. And the paranoid person I am wondered if it would be an aisle, alone, like I had in business class.

In this case I got a whole room.

Once again, it’s not like it looks in the pictures. You’ve got a compartment, with a thirty inch screen, with more movies and TV shows than you could watch in a year, with British series that haven’t made it across the pond yet, along with flowers and a desk lamp and a vanity mirror and room to stretch out and I only wish it was longer than a three hour flight. You press a button and the doors close and you’ve got your own private area, your own private Idaho, but on this A-380, not a B-52, the service is so attentive that for a long time you don’t want to close the doors. The food was Indian and scrumptious! What did Americans add to cuisine, hamburgers? Well the assorted dips, and the chutneys to go along with the curry, were extremely savory.

Now back to Dubai, I forgot to tell you that they had free Wi-Fi, fast enough for video, that’s what the banners said. And free ice cream. I chose chocolate chocolate chip, it was better than Haagen-Dazs. That’s right, for everyone, right in the concourse, courtesy of Emirates.

And there were more of those white-robed gentlemen on my flight. How do they keep the robes so clean? If it were me, one meal and it’d be toast. And I’d like to tell you the derivation of the attire, but I’m an American, and we know nothing. That’s right, been nowhere, done little, but convinced we’re the experts, like the blowhard at the party you can’t wait to get away from. That’s one thing about life, there’s always someone who knows more, who’s seen more, and once you realize this you’re a citizen of the world, then again statistics tell us Americans don’t even move to a different state anymore, they can’t afford it. As for all this bashing of the U.S.A., that’s one thing that’s great about our country, the ability to question, to stand up, the thing that Trump is trying to eviscerate. Every day people tell me I’m an idiot online, why can’t the President handle it. If you play to your naysayers you’re missing the point. You’ve got to stay the course. Then again, do the masses agree with your course? We’re gonna find out in November, then again, on the flight over I read a story about a southern city decreasing the number of polling places in African-American neighborhoods, makes me wonder if the game is rigged. Actually, it is. Which is why you should have voted for Hillary so we didn’t end up with the right wing Supreme Court we’ve got now, it was always about the Supreme Court, and you blew your chance because Hillary was phony. She was, she turned me off by saying her favorite book was the Bible, but people are complicated and if you can’t accept them warts and all, if you can’t look past the gotcha points, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble in this world. And I could rant further about politics, but you don’t want to hear it, but it’s the story of our age. Musicians used to be concerned, before they weren’t whored out to corporations, when the draft had everybody on the same side. It comes down to whether you believe in a welfare state, if you don’t…you’re not on my team. Bye!

So it’s hot in Mumbai and rainy too. It’s the monsoon season. Vishal told me there are three seasons: summer, winter and monsoon. That it’s humid during the day yet temperate at night. And he spoke perfect English, I know no Hindi or any other dialect/language used here. But Vishal did tell me sixty percent of the people speak English.

And I landed after three in the morning, but just driving to the hotel I got the vibe, why westerners are entranced by the country. It’s different, yet inviting. And although Vishal told me it was perfectly safe, they did check under the hook and inside the trunk before letting us through the gate, which reminded me about terrorism in the past, but if you go through life afraid, you don’t live, why are Americans now so afraid?

And my room is very nice with a view over the water but sans a desk. You don’t find a hotel room in America without a desk. And the free Wi-Fi…I think I’m gonna have to pay for faster speed. And supposedly Uber is readily available. And I heard prices are cheap, but I do little research before I travel, I always Google once I arrive, once I’m excited.

And I’m excited and happy now. I’m twelve and a half hours from Los Angeles, a full day of travel. I’m literally halfway around the world, and already my eyes have been opened.

P.S. The above lyric is from the song “Christmas,” from the Who’s rock opera “Tommy,” does anybody under thirty know that? The double album was not released to great fanfare, the song “Pinball Wizard” came out a few months before, but did not run up the chart. But “Tommy” built over time and became a landmark to the point the band played the Metropolitan Opera House. I saw them perform it at the Fillmore East. Watching Keith Moon was stunning, it was like he was two drummers. And I feel that “Tommy” is fading away, younger people prefer “Quadrophenia,” just like some prefer the White Album or “Abbey Road” to “Sgt. Pepper.” But “Tommy,” like “Sgt. Pepper,” was the breakthrough, it was a quantum leap forward, it was beyond conception. Anybody can follow in the footsteps, but can you jump ahead and be a leader, go where the people want to even though they are unaware? Then you’re truly an artist.

P.P.S. And that’s right, my Mac says it’s Tuesday August 21st, 4:46 AM, but I left on Sunday and although I slept some on the flight to Dubai I’m not exactly tired and it’s the middle of the night, thank you Billy Joel, and I’m gonna read and try to fall asleep, but I wonder how long it will take to adjust. Usually going east is hell, whereas going west is not. But going to India…you can go either way, since it’s right smack dab in the middle, how’s the jet lag gonna be? I’m gonna find out!

P.P.P.S. The toilet seats in Dubai were heated, so your tushy would feel all warm and fuzzy!

P.P.P.P.S. I drank from the water fountain in the Mumbai airport and I’ve been freaked out about it ever since. That’s what everybody tells you, don’t drink the water! And I was rationalizing it was the airport, but then they told me not to drink the water from the tap in my hotel room and…I’ve been OCD’ing about it ever since. I came with a full complement of medication, but I don’t want to use it!

P.P.P.P.P.S. I forgot to tell you about the bathroom in first class! I know, this P.S. thing is getting kinda ridiculous, but my brain is somewhere over the ocean despite my body being here and I forgot to tell you this, and so much more that hasn’t occurred to me yet. Anyway, the first class Emirates bathroom even has a shower! It is literally bigger than my bathroom at home!

It’s dark here. In more ways than one. Trumpers would freak out. I was the only Anglo in my section on the plane, and when I went through security… There was a guy in one of those white suits which rednecks would call a dress and one thing’s for sure, I’m not in Kansas anymore. Actually, I’ve been to Kansas, more than once, many times, in fact. My two best college buddies were from there. And KC is up-to-date and modern and the U. is on seemingly the only hill in Lawrence, which is quite large and steep, and the rest of the state is not as flat as depicted. Sure, there are no mountains, but the landscape rolls a bit. And the people who voted to cut taxes and starve the government along with education there…

Would be freaked out in Dubai. Where everything is truly up-to-date, in the twenty first century.

As for the darkness… It was only seven o’clock, what’s up? Then I wondered if I had it backward, maybe it was seven a.m. and it was gonna get light soon. I mean fly in a tube for fifteen plus hours and you’re all screwed up. As for the vaunted Emirates airline… It was very good, but not as great as Cathay Pacific, not even as great as Singapore. The flight attendants were from twenty nations and the food was tasty and there was a lounge in the back but the truth is it’s still an airplane, you get inside and it feels cramped, no matter what the pics online show. Then again, it was an A380, a double-decker, an Airbus. Now Airbus has made Boeing up its game, but the point is not everything great is made in the U.S., and the A380 is pretty great, first and foremost it’s QUIET! You can read, you can hear yourself think, there’s not that constant whooshing sound.

But let’s start with the lounge.

No, let’s start with getting to the airport. They send a car. That’s right I flew business, fly in the back of the plane for a day and it’ll take you a month to recover. I know, I know, this separates the men from the boys, the rich from the poor, but the left wing is constantly dumbing itself down and the right wing is constantly luxuriating in its riches and it’s no crime to get ahead, as long as you carry those less fortunate along with you.

But it took almost as long to get to the Tom Bradley International Terminal as it took to get from my house to the airport. How are they gonna accommodate more passengers in the future? Damned if I know. And checking in… There was a father wrapping his son’s snowboard in plastic tape, to protect it. I’m not sure it would, but then they ended up taking it on the plane with them anyway.

And in the lounge, they have a prayer room, right next to the bathrooms. And a greeter, just like Wal-Mart, made me wonder if I could leave my bags unattended, did I ever tell you I was paranoid about my stuff, even though at this late age I think I could tolerate losing it all? But not my data, never my data.

And then on the plane a guy wanted me to trade my aisle single seat for a center double, facing the wall. Come on, at these prices? You should have booked earlier. He ended up getting another guy facing the wall to switch, and then he never ever talked to his wife across the aisle, amazing.

And after catching up on the Sunday “Times,” why is it I read the paper slower on the plane, am I fearful I’ll run out of things to read, I started reading this book “The Family Tabor,” by Cherise Wolas, I read about it in the “Book Review” and downloaded it to my Kindle in the lounge. Luke sent me his autobiography, but I’m not taking a hard copy on the plane, I’m already carrying too much stuff.

And “The Family Tabor” is about a middle class family in crisis, middle class crisis, the kind the self-deprecating call “white people problems.” But the truth is existential issues are the worst. Just as a poor person can only think about money, someone who is depressed or without love or who can’t sleep or who has committed crimes can’t get their issues out of their heads. It’s all interior dialogue, rotating the characters, and I’m about forty percent through and not absolutely sure I can recommend it, but it’s a great antidote to the endless preaching by the supposed winners in this world. You keep telling us you have it all, and then we scratch the surface and find…you don’t.

And the A380 is like a lumbering bus on the way up, and although we hit some turbulence over the North Pole, when we gained altitude it was like riding a couch, and although the landing in Dubai was heavy, it was a good experience but as I said above, I was stunned to find Dubai in darkness.

Turns out they do not have Daylight Savings Time.

As for the airport…

Makes America look like a second class country. You see they were afraid of us, our freedom and cash and wherewithal, then we became afraid of them… How is it going to turn out? Well, there’s more of them than there are of us, think about that. You can only keep your finger in the dike for so long before the dam bursts. Kinda like globalization, we’re citizens of the world today, and if you don’t like it, give up your mobile phone and flat screen made in Asia and your cars made in… Wait, just wait, that’s what Trump’s trying to do, make it all “Made In America”! But countries that do this fall behind, best to outsource, but you can’t say that here, er, there, you’ve got to keep wrapping yourself in the flag and saying U.S.A, U.S.A! Meanwhile, the people yelling this loudest have never been anywhere else, Denmark is pretty damn good, as for Dubai…

I’m not gonna leave the airport, but the airport…

It’s like living in the future. The elevators hold thirty people. There are waterfalls, the place is clean and…

Silent.

Yup, that was a note on the screen before we left the plane, that Dubai’s airport has no announcements, although they did have some on the train to the B terminal and I just heard some prayer music, but it’s absent all those gate announcements that no one listens to anyway. We live in a self-serve world, where you’ve got to be aware, not only know how to fix your electronics and sites, but navigate yourself through this world.

It’s different here. The bathroom has a water sprayer next to the toilet, in case you don’t use paper…

And for some reason it’s dark in the lounge too, which supersedes any in America, even the rebuilt American and AmEx ones. Is it the oil? What is paying for all this?

I think it’s the oil.

Meanwhile, American airlines are trying to get Trump to cripple Emirates, since it’s supported by the government, but Trump can only look backward, allowing more coal emissions. Why is half of America so backward? Did you see that article about Google trying to sell self-driving technology to Detroit and the carmakers saying no? Because they’re selling fashion, the exterior, but it’s the interior that counts. Kinda like the YouTube stars, if all you’ve got is how you look, telling others how to look, you’re gonna be in trouble. Of course there are models, of course there are Kardashians…then again, the Kardashians are all about business, entrancing and ripping-off the lemmings. That’s the America we now live in, whereas the rest of the world has woken up and is focusing on electric cars and… There’s a guy in the WSJ, Holman Jenkins, who can’t stop beating up on Tesla. I’m not gonna defend Elon Musk or the company’s financials, but I will say that Tesla single-handedly got the rest of the world’s carmakers to get on the electric bandwagon, the leader being BMW, once again a foreign company, whereas Ford can only say it will sell SUVs instead of cars, you give the people what they want and then suddenly, they don’t want it anymore. Steve Jobs had it right, you win by selling people what they NEED!