Patriot Act With Hasan Minhaj

What kind of crazy fucked-up world do we live in where a comedian explains the Harvard lawsuit better than the “New York Times”?

One in which an Asian-American gets his own show on Netflix and breaks all the rules. You know, you’ve got to have a monologue of disconnected jokes, a desk and a sidekick as well as a deejay or a band. That’s how Michelle Wolf failed and why all the late night shows are irrelevant, even though the mainstream press keeps telling us they’re cutting edge, and I’m including you SNL, skits without a viewpoint regarding topics we don’t care about no longer float our boat, but Hasan…

Let’s be clear here, one other person is going down this track, John Oliver, but he’s got the imprimatur of HBO, for those who are afraid of streaming and can’t use the clicker, who just leave the TV on one station and sit somnambulantly before it. But Minhaj is a member of a younger demo. And he is not white. And his long pieces are not about explaining obscure stories which are important but not our focus, but what’s on our mind right now, like the Harvard lawsuit. I ain’t gonna explain it other than to point out it’s about Asian-Americans being excluded from Harvard, even though the lawsuit was filed by a white guy with a bug up his ass who has fought this battle previously, most notably at the University of Texas. This is not about Asians so much as it’s about a conservative viewpoint, but Hasan points this out, as well as catching the attorney changing the facts to suit his position. Sound like someone else we know?

And the second episode was a bit different. Unlike Oliver, the long piece came first, the short bits second, illustrating that Minhaj is still playing with the formula. But one thing I love is he’s using references, not as a put-down like Dennis Miller, but to illustrate culture and insider membership. We want to belong, when you’re bland we cannot sidle up to you, play to everybody and you play to nobody.

And the second episode was all about Khashoggi, only it was really about the Saudi Crown Prince. His continuing slew of bad behavior. Minhaj told the story of what’s happening in Yemen in a minute, to the point you understood it, meanwhile the “New York Times” posts stories of starving babies but we don’t really know why they’re starving, although now we do.

And the reason I point out the “New York Times” is because it’s the king, the “Washington Post” is gaining ground, but the “Wall Street Journal” is going backward and as for cable news… All Fox and MSNBC do is comment about what’s in the paper, how often have you heard Rachel Maddow say THIS JUST IN FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES! They don’t do any reporting, as for background, it’s like a soap opera where if you haven’t watched forever you don’t know what they’re talking about, it’s like the Hundred Years’ War on cable news, it’s endless.

But Minhaj just takes half an hour.

Now for those playing the home game, and one day there is going to be a test, for sure, you know that my favorite comedy special last year was Hasan’s “Homecoming King.” I know, I know, all the press is about John Mulaney, but I turned his specials off, I was riveted by Hasan.

And he talks with his hands, and sometimes you can see him reading from the teleprompter, but he’s a millennial speaking to that generation, and despite decrying that generation, all the boomers and Gen-X’ers want to be just like the millennials, they wear their clothes and adopt their slang…

Now I’m pissed at Netflix for not making those movies day and date, you know, “Roma,” etc. I mean SO WHAT! The audience doesn’t even watch the Oscars anymore, never piss off your audience, never sully your brand. But by giving people a chance and letting then do what they want Netflix is pushing the envelope. The first two episodes of “Patriot Act” were not cut to length, they ended at different times. And broadcast TV is not ready for an Indian who pokes fun at other Indians, Bobby Jindal and Nikki Haley, but the audience is.

How come everybody ignores the audience and then pays fealty to them at the end? Why not try to go where the people are to begin with and satiate them!

Now a show can get lost on Netflix. But I’m watching “Patriot Act” and I implore you to too. Because you might learn something. It’s not as simple as preaching to the converted so they’ll nod their heads and agree with you, you’ve got to edify and stimulate people, make them question their preconceptions. And who better to do this than an Asian-American who jokes his dad is glad Hasan finally got his own show so now he can save up for graduate school!

America is all about the upper and lower classes. The middle is avoided. You rarely see people similar to you. But hopefully you went to high school with someone like Hasan, whose skin might be a different color, whose parents might have different customs, but is otherwise just like you.

More like this Ted!

More Blood, More Tracks: The Bootleg Series, Vol. 14

It’s a completely different record.

I first heard “Tangled Up In Blue” on the access road to Mammoth Mountain. I’d agreed to meet people I barely knew at the stop sign in town, but being early I figured I’d check out the ski area. And it being the middle of the day, there was little traffic, on a sunny May 1st I almost needed the air conditioning, and out of the rear speakers in my 2002 came this song that was instantly recognizable as Dylan even though I’d never heard it before, having lived in the hinterlands of Utah all winter.

And you know when a song resonates, when you’re into the groove, and you feel like pumping the accelerator and everything is great in the world? That’s where I was at. A true rock and roll moment, when only you and the music matter, when the trappings are irrelevant.

Back in L.A. that summer I insisted my sister buy “Blood On The Tracks.” I’d lay on her couch with the sliding glass door open as the sound flowed over me, so different from any previous Dylan LP, the sound itself was enrapturing, the lyrics were secondary.

But not on the original.

By this time, back in ’75, we knew there were two versions, that Dylan had rerecorded tracks in Minneapolis, and a couple of decades ago Jeff Gold gave me a bootleg copy of the original New York sessions, but being on cassette I never got into it, but last night, upon the day of release, I listened to the original iteration on “More Blood, More Tracks,” and I was wowed.

She said this can’t be the end, we’ll meet on another day

Do relationships ever end? I’m not talking about one-night stands, hook-up culture, I’m talking about an extended period of time, with ups and downs, with history. It becomes untenable, you discuss calling it quits and then someone pulls the plug and…it’s over, but it’s not. They stay in your brain. At first you see them everywhere, maybe you connect once or twice, the magnetism being too strong, and then you’ve got no contact, because it’s too painful. But they’re there in your mind, forever. The memory fades, but it doesn’t go away.

The ’75 version of “Tangled Up In Blue” is different, from the viewpoint of a world-weary, road-wizened denizen who could never really get close to anybody, swooped in for a moment or two, but then moved on. But not the person in this original version.

The original take is not a story for the masses, it’s positively personal. Kinda sad. The kinda story you tell long after midnight, after the laughs are gone, when truth emerges, when you start reminiscing about what once was and could possibly be again.

When he slips into the strip joint and sees her it seems he wants to make contact, but is afraid of where reconnecting will take him, but she picks him out and when she bends down to tie the laces of his shoe it’s not being subservient, like in the public take, but a moment of intimacy and control, she’s invading his space quite consciously, she’s making a move, he’s powerless in the face of her aura and action.

So what you’ve got here is a human story. Just another American story. Of two people who need each other but don’t. Who love each other but can’t live together. Who can’t stop thinking about each other. Meanwhile, the man is afraid of committing. Then again, he needs to get back to her in the end.

There are a few lyric changes, but most are not critical. But the sound is completely different, as is the speed, as is the groove. This original is sparse. An old folkie playing for an audience of one or two as opposed to a man on stage with a band playing to the faceless masses. And it’s slower. And it’s not a hit.

At this point Dylan is mostly a legend. Most people were not there the first time around, certainly not for the social commentary. A couple of tunes from “Nashville Skyline” survive, but unless you’re a dedicated fan, you can exist without ever coming into contact with him. And at this point there’s little money in these releases. They’ve been putting out these archival packages for years, some better than others, some more necessary than others, and there’s a multi-disc version for collectors, but who has a CD player anymore anyway. So what we have is these original “Blood On The Tracks” cuts sitting on streaming services, waiting for discovery for those interested, like scholars, who want to investigate what once was and forever may shall be. That’s the power of the word.

So I’m not sure you should bother with this if you don’t know the original. But if you’re a baby boomer, you definitely do know the song and you should listen, it’ll open your mind, thinking about the ones who got away, the ones you pushed aside, and wonder if…

You’re now a musician. Ignore the hit parade. Spotify Top 50 is a miniscule cult. Yours might be even tinier but own it. If you believe you’re on the road to stardom, get out of the car right now, because that’s not how we play it these days. You can set yourself on fire and own the news cycle for half a day if you’re lucky, then again, most news outlets won’t cover it unless you’re already a star and then you’ll be dead, so what is it worth?

Practice. Get good at your craft. Keep your nose to the ground. Get better. Gain an audience. Try to grow it.

That’s it.

Dreams of private jets, models, debauchery, making it rain in nightclubs… That’s for athletes, not musicians. There are fewer athletes. And a whole bunch of them aren’t stars either. But there’s a whole slew of musicians. And the public is overwhelmed and distracted, people only see music as one option.

So don’t think about creating the hit. Ignore all the advice about having numerous hooks and grabbing the listener instantly, those are people trying to game an ungamable system.

It’s like in the old days. An album is evidence of your work. No one may buy it, few may stream it, one thing’s for sure, you’re not gonna make much money on it, it’s just one part of your portfolio. Think about your recorded work as your LinkedIn profile, a job resume. You’re seeking listeners, and trying to hold on to the ones you’ve got.

So you want a steady stream of product and innovative live shows… If you’re doing the same set every night, the joke is on you. You want people traveling to different cities to experience different shows. You want to engender curiosity. You want to be alive and breathing as opposed to dead. Eliminate the hard drives, truth is your friend, mistakes keep you honest, show that you’re still striving for excellence, and the public forgives errors, they want to get closer to a living, breathing person. Forget comping the vocals, making it perfect, that eliminates all the humanity, and slickness is history these days, that’s why events are so popular, they’re living and breathing and different with ups and downs. You can make it perfect, but they don’t want it perfect.

Sure, some people play the game and create perfumes and sell out to the corporations, but they are very few in number. And really, they’re little different from the Top Forty acts of yore, you always knew the rewards were with the other, if you’re not testing limits, people will avoid you. If you’re repeating yourself, you’re not growing. Don’t reside in a living hell, release yourself.

Your goal is to support yourself making music, nothing more.

And if you make it, it’s gonna take a really long time. Cliff Burnstein and Peter Mensch told me this, that it takes ten years for a rock act to make it, their band Foals just went into royalties after a decade. They also said that rock bands last when everything else does not.

Think about that, whether you create rock music or a different genre, the key is to last.

This is what the internet has wrought, this is what streaming has wrought, with everything available at your fingertips, nothing stands out, despite all the hoopla and hype. Come on, the newspaper prints the chart…BUT WHO READS THE NEWSPAPER? As for reviews…I hope your mother sees them, because that’s about all they’re good for.

You’re a musician first and foremost. See where it leads you.

And speak from your heart. Channel the gods. That’ll give you your best chance to make it to the middle.

Where most acts will reside, if not lower. The superstar game is for wusses. Just like back in ’68, all the action was in albums with no singles on FM. And then that sound took over.

I can’t tell you what sound will win. Actually, there’s room for all of ’em. Just know that inspiration is king. And don’t filter yourself. And have the skills which allow you to execute the sound in your head. And know that social media for promotion is overrated. You speak to your fans and then they grow your career. That’s all anybody trusts anymore, other people with no investment. This is what this decade of social media salesmanship has wrought, an entire populace that ignores it, despite those involved and reporting on it hyping it.

Ignore the hype. Get busy. We want to hear what you have to say.

At least some of us.

America is about fairness. At least it used to be. A man’s word is his bond. You can count on the law. The little guy is protected. How are we supposed to believe in our country if the rules keep changing and we don’t have a say? Isn’t that why we revolted against the British in the first place, no taxation without representation?

This has been a long game folks. With paving laid over years. It’s all about illegal voting. Whether it be illegals or those unentitled to vote or those voting multiple times. But every study says this is a non-factor, but say it enough and people believe it, especially when they repeat and amplify it on Fox and talk radio and the internet, if they say it it must be true! Then again, the listeners must have been absent that day when the teacher asked if you believed everything in the newspaper. The answer was no. Assuming you went to a school not teaching to the test inspiring to be all you could be, before the Army stole our mantra to get you to enlist and get killed, but those with a future, with opportunity, the educated, could read the signs, parse the tea leaves, so they stayed out, and only the lower classes joined up, to the point where rules are bent so people can qualify.

Of course this is about winning. But it’s also about THOSE people. You know, the ones who don’t look like “America.” The African-Americans, the Latinos, this is racism pure and simple, and it’s not only embraced at the state and local level, but the Supreme Court, where they said voting laws were unnecessary, because racism is dead. I want to see what they say when it comes time to protect my Jewish ass. Oh, that’s right, Jews have all the money and rule entertainment and banks so there’s no anti-Semitism. Right? WRONG!

Meanwhile, African-Americans are in jail on trumped-up charges and with felonies on their records are unable to vote. And Native Americans live on the reservation, but without a street address they can’t vote in North Dakota. And in Georgia, you’re stripped from the voting rolls until you resubmit and everything is perfect. Otherwise, a black woman might become Governor!

Not that the left learns from lessons. This is how George Bush the junior became President, the elected official in Florida kept bending the rules. And then the right-leaning Supreme Court gave the office to Bush and Al Gore, trying to display gravitas and the spirit of competition he learned in the Ivy League, said it was okay…BUT IT WAS NOT!

That’s right folks, you haven’t gotten over a black President born who knows where and we haven’t gotten over the insanity at the turn of the century.

I mean come on. They teach you to play the game honestly. To let the best man or woman win. But then they change the rules, hope nobody can detect their duplicity and win in the end. The game is rigged folks. Even worse, the system is antiquated. Between gerrymandering and the fiasco in the Senate, i.e. overrepresentation for uninhabited states, it’s almost impossible for the Democrats to take control. That’s why people are not bothering to vote, it seems fruitless. And all that hogwash from entertainers saying their fans should exercise the right to vote… No, tell them to exercise the right to vote DEMOCRATIC!

Meanwhile, real Republicans like Max Boot are telling their readers not to vote for any Republican.

You can’t screw the public for this long and get away with it. At some point the people revolt. And one thing we’ve learned is the Democrats are the majority, we keep winning the vote and losing the election.

They put that woman in Texas in jail for five years for voter fraud, how about putting these sniveling nincompoops who’ve prevented good, hard-working Americans from voting in jail, where they belong, along with the Wall Streeters who blew up the economy and got paid by the government in return.

Meanwhile, with few taxes and the excoriation of public schools by the right wing the public is less educated than ever before, people can’t understand, never mind analyze the issues. These are the same idiots who are against the ACA but want their Medicare. The same people who benefit from the government but want their benefits taken away. It’s like no one can see the big picture.

Are you discouraged? I certainly am. When you go to court and you lose anyway. Those damn immigrants working in Dodge City should have cars to drive to the polls, or go back where they belong. Meanwhile, if every immigrant left the country, who’d do your laundry, who’d clean your hotel room. These are hard-working people keeping their heads down and trying to get a piece of the rock.

As for African-Americans… Everybody’s imitating them, consuming their music and films and comedy, but those are the only opportunities they’ve got, the whites have done a good job of closing doors so they can get the gigs themselves. Affirmative-action my ass. I’m entitled to that job!

What are you entitled to in America?

While they keep yelling USA! USA!, telling us it’s the greatest country in the world while chanting that Hillary Clinton should be locked up while the President lies and…

He’s just trying to win folks. It’s as if you ran and dissembled, telling the populace that Trump had sex with Ivanka and stole money from Bank of America and promised Putin he’d sell him the country.

No, but you won’t do that, you believe in truth, justice and the American Way.

Where’s Superman when you need him?