Any Major Dude Will Tell You

Yacht Rock

This must be just like living in paradise.

And I don’t want to go home.

Yesterday all my numbers were in the zone, other than glucose, but I hadn’t been fasting, and this is the first time since I was diagnosed with CML Leukemia back in 2009, but to tell you the truth for the last year I haven’t been taking the Gleevec, that’s a new policy, you can go off until the leukemia comes back, which could be up to two years, but as short as…tomorrow.

And this has been a great boon. Primarily because my hemoglobin is in the normal range, and it hasn’t been in a decade, and for a while there it went so low I thought twice about climbing stairs.

And when I was done, I checked in with the map programs, and they all agreed to go up Roscomare instead of taking the 405 from the hospital, so I did.

Now cell service is notoriously spotty up there, so I switched to my music library, because I wanted to hear my WAZE prompts via my new head unit, and while I was cruising up the hill, I heard this David Lee Roth song, my favorite from his solo career, you remember the rock climbing video, or maybe you don’t, but during that era Steve Vai replaced Eddie Van Halen and his guitar screamed, but it…still wasn’t Eddie.

But David Lee Roth is one of the great frontmen of all time, and he’ll tell you so, and he carries this track. And “Just Like Paradise” is rock par excellence, you know, you crank it up and it squeezes out the rest of the world and makes you feel good.

And I was feeling good. It was not only the numbers, it was the weather.

Now fall in L.A. is not like fall on the east coast, the light changes, it gets a bit colder, and that’s it! Those November days, those rainy days, they don’t exist! Forget summer, if you really want to get the L.A. bug come in the fall. And cruise up and down the canyons. You’ll be closed.

And yesterday driving through the twists and turns I was feeling like nothing could mess with me, I was only a speck in the world but inside my automobile everything was groovy.

Now I’ve been listening to Yacht Rock on SiriusXM, Richie Beilenson, the man with the hookup, told me to check out the stations in the 300s, which I could now receive.

There’s a cool cover channel. Another one featuring the music of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but the station I’ve been listening to the most is…

Yacht Rock!

You know, that music which has been denigrated, made for wimps, unlistenable to hipsters.

But this is not the way it used to be, once upon a time most of these acts were revered with hits. Then again, not Starbuck and Rupert Holmes, but the Doobies…

And Steely Dan.

I was driving down the 405 on my way to UCLA and I heard “Any Major Dude Will Tell You.” And suddenly the words were clear, even if they weren’t fully comprehensible, but I loved when Fagen sang them. This is the antithesis of the pejorative. If Steely Dan is yacht rock, sign me up for a cruise.

Actually, today, on the Yacht Rock channel, I finally got Pablo Cruise’s “Love Will Find A Way.”

Now dedicated readers will know I love “Watcha Gonna Do” and “A Place In The Sun.” Actually, I had to buy their third album, also entitled “A Place In The Sun,” just to hear those two numbers.

I can wax rhapsodic about “A Place In The Sun,” but I already have. There’s the flourish in the opening, like the gates are being opened for the queen. And then that guitar picking, all this is in the intro, the vocal doesn’t even begin until a minute in, and then Bud Cockrell sings with exuberance! Actually, the number appears in “An Unmarried Woman,” the Mazursky movie starring Jill Clayburgh, she’s now alone but her mood is turning, she’s dancing around the kitchen with her daughter, to “A Place In The Sun.”

And “Watcha Gonna Do?” follows “A Place In The Sun” on the LP, a one-two punch I never got much beyond, yup, I loved those Pablo Cruise cuts, but nothing more, I found “Love Will Find A Way,” too sappy, an effort in search of a hit, but today…that guitar got to me, just like in “Pretzel Logic.”

Yup, when I got home I put that album on.

I didn’t buy “Can’t Buy A Thrill.” Nick had it, I’d play it every time I went to his dorm room, I could not hear “Do It Again” enough. But the LP was on ABC and I only had so much money and…

The second album has only been considered a classic in hindsight, it didn’t have a big radio song and it looked like the act was over.

And then came “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.”

It’s that intro, after the spacy bass. We’re instantly in the groove, and Fagen starts to testify. As if he was in your dorm room after midnight telling the story, and you were privileged to hear it, since he was so much cooler than you.

And stunningly, “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” became a hit!

Yup, that was the criterion back then, placement on the AM. Not everybody had an FM tuner in their car, crossing over made you gigantic, before AM cratered and MTV saved the music business.

So I bought “Pretzel Logic.” Because it was one of my bonus records from the Record Club of America, which made no sense to the point it went out of business shortly thereafter.

But the LP had so much surface noise. Now the Record Club of America had the right to press its own discs, so was that the problem? Then again, ABC records always sounded trashy too.

And “Rikki” was the only hit from “Pretzel Logic. And the rest of the numbers didn’t sound like anything else, literally. And the album was so short, 34 minutes when everybody was going longer, and I can’t say I loved “East St. Louis Toodle-Oo,” it was just too jazzy for me, but the rest of the numbers had a place in my brain.

Got to tell you, the first track that resonated, other than “Rikki,” was “Barrytown,” which I’ve never ever heard anybody talk about.

And then “With A Gun.” and “Night By Night.” Remember when that happened? You liked a song on a side and you let the album play through to the point another track ultimately revealed itself to you.

And “Any Major Dude Will Tell You” was smooth and in the pocket and could be played on the radio, but I never heard it, even though it was the b-side of “Rikki.”

But what gripped me listening to “Pretzel Logic” was the title tune. Oh, I always liked it, it’s the groove, which has your body moving immediately. But listening on Deezer Elite through my Genelecs all these years later, what gripped me and tossed me over the top, was the guitar playing. I figured it was Larry Carlton, he plays in this style, every note articulated and clear and then running together, but with soul.

My whole body was moving, it’s moving now, remembering that era when you played an electric guitar as opposed to working the turntables, and we knew the players and they were exalted.

It turned out to be Skunk Baxter!

I really had no idea he was this good. I mean I knew he was good, but he’s so right, so perfect, you’ve got to put him in the top tier! And then he switched to the Doobies and ultimately took a complete left turn into defense consulting. I’ve got to give Skunk credit, he was self-taught in this area, and to be accepted at the elite level, that’s quite an achievement, but we’ve lost an axeman of the highest rank, then again, there’s no place for these gunslingers anymore.

Except on Yacht Rock.

Joel Selvin-This Week’s Podcast

Long time music critic for the “San Francisco Chronicle,” Sammy Hagar once gave Joel’s phone number out at a show, and then Selvin co-wrote the Red Rocker’s #1 best-selling book, “Red: My Uncensored Live In Rock.” An expert in the San Francisco scene, Selvin authored a book about Altamont, as well as writing books about Bert Berns and the latter day Dead. Tune in to hear this raconteur’s stories.

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VMA Ratings Hit An All Time Low

VMAs Hit All-Time Ratings Low for 3rd Straight Year

The biggest winner Monday night? SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO! No one saw his tone-deaf monologue panned in every publication known to man. And the truth is, his audience agrees with him, millennials/Gen-Z are wankers.

But the millennials/Gen-Z don’t care.

Welcome to 2019, where there is no mass audience, no consensus on what’s cool, hip or great, where we’re all deep in our own silos and the only people who don’t get it are the media and the purveyors.

That’s right. If hip-hop were as big as the media says it is, it would dominate the Pollstar chart. But the truth is that’s ruled by old rockers, not even pop acts. There has never been such a disconnect between what is selling tickets and what dominates radio and recordings.

Yup, a teen might stream a track ad infinitum on Spotify, but his or her parents, his or her older siblings, his or her himself, are going to see the legends before they croak, paying high prices and purchasing merch.

And there are developing acts on the Pollstar chart too. And festivals like LOCKN’ where Trey plays with Derek, wailing on “Little Wing,” and the attendees are satiated and couldn’t care less what’s #1, even if they know what it is.

Tedeschi Trucks Band ft. Trey Anastasio – “Little Wing”

So they give a party featuring the latest and greatest Spotify wonders, mixing in some ancient hip-hop to boot, and it turns out no one cares, at least not in numbers. Oh, MTV is touting great social numbers, but they are not revealing them, which means they can’t be THAT good.

Don’t the kids want to see Taylor Swift?

NO! Her FANS want to see Taylor Swift! So far, no track off of “Lover” has been a hit, and despite reviewers lining up to praise the album, most people just don’t care. Taylor came up in a different era, when singular dominance was possible, but now it is not.

And we live in a participatory culture. People want to make videos to Lil Nas X’s music, but they’ve got no desire to see him live. And Shawn Mendes is not the star he’s made out to be, ditto Lizzo. Oh, they’re successful, but they’re just niche!

Yes, we can blame MTV for steering away from music.

Yes, we can say that millennials are on demand viewers, and appointment TV is anathema.

Yes, we can say there is awards show fatigue.

The truth is everything we based our industry on has faded away, so the old purveyors are doubling-down, trying to save themselves, when the truth is they’re just headed for the dumper.

Like theatre owners. Netflix is eating their lunch. The owners refuse to show Scorsese’s “The Irishman” because the streaming giant won’t give them a three month window.

But Netflix not only has “The Irishman,” but the new Soderbergh and Baumbach movies. In other words, Netflix has the adults of cinema, the creators and the viewers, leaving the theatre owners with superheroes and the very occasional comedy. Yup, that’s all that sells. Hell, adult/indie/foreign box office was abysmal over the summer. So the real auteurs have moved on to television, where the audience is. Meanwhile, theatre owners are like the labels during the Napster era. What is end game? You’ve got to focus on end game.

The music business has flipped. The real stars, the career artists, are made on the road. The major labels are just interested in the evanescent, overpaying for a hit du jour with traction online. Hell, they don’t even know how to develop a non-rock artist.

As for Interscope and Billie Eilish…kudos, there are always exceptions, but the truth is she’s a youth phenomenon, hell, at least even Alanis Morissette was 21 and wrote her own material with “Jagged Little Pill.”

And some of the road acts don’t even put out albums, or do so occasionally. They realize their bond is with their audience, not the middlemen, i.e. radio and streaming services.

But anybody with a gig, anybody with money, is afraid of the future, they don’t want to see their world decline. Therefore, they say Elizabeth Warren is unelectable. WHY? Because they don’t want to lose something!

And Shari Redstone reunites CBS and Viacom and Wall Street swoons! But CBS cannot succeed as a standalone streamer and Viacom is a collection of junk.

But this is the same Street that’s anti-Tesla not realizing that they’re betting against the future, that the world has already decided to go electric, and it was Musk that was pushing the envelope, and it is Tesla that has the supercharging stations and better battery technology. Hell, if they sell it/merge, there’s a pretty penny involved, but no, the Street is too focused on today’s numbers, short-termism, and the media trumpets its viewpoint.

Awards shows are dead. There are just too many and the awards are meaningless. As for tuning in to tweet…that’s passe.

We’ve learned that nothing is dominant these days, that it’s nearly impossible to get any story out, that the only people paying attention are those who were already paying attention.

Furthermore, if you grow, it will start online, not on TV or in mainstream media.

This leaves tons of questions.

Old people don’t like questions.

But the future is dark and murky, but it does come, and the spoils go to those who figure it out.

Songs You Hated And Now Like-SiriusXM This Week

Tune in tomorrow, Tuesday August 27th, to Volume 106, 7 PM East, 4 PM West.

Phone #: 844-6-VOLUME, 844-686-5863

Twitter: @lefsetz or @siriusxmvolume/#lefsetzlive

Hear the episode live on SiriusXM VOLUME: HearLefsetzLive

If you miss the episode, you can hear it on demand on the SiriusXM app: LefsetzLive

(Thanks to @JBrutonMusic for the inspiration!)