I don’t get it.

Film and TV still have not learned the lesson that the customer is in control. The record labels fought the public and then gave in. It was a tortuous experience, it took almost a decade, but now you can get all the music for ten bucks a month, advance hype is at a minimum, sure there are shenanigans on the “Billboard” chart, but the public doesn’t care about that, the Spotify Top 50 suits people just fine.

We’ve been reading about “The Irishman” for months. It played film festivals. It opened in theatres to satiate the film industry…the same one that says what premieres on TV doesn’t qualify for the Oscars, even though what the studios make doesn’t qualify either. Come on, superhero flicks the best movies of the year? I’m with Scorsese on this.

But I’m not with Scorsese on this film.

“The Irishman” hit Netflix on Wednesday. Feel the buzz? Of course not, because there is none! It was all expended before the majority of the public could partake, hell, the flick didn’t even play in the hinterlands, the supposed flyover country, that the Hollywood elite still believe exists, but the truth is they’ve got the same broadband and the same streaming services as they do on the coast, no one is left behind today, and we’re all on the same page, at least conceptually.

It’s nearly impossible to get the word out. Oh, you can try, but it just doesn’t spread. Popsters figured out it’s best to feature a rapper. And name rappers drop in on wannabes’ records. And even other genres remix, Lil Nas X with Billy Ray Cyrus, because they want the attention.

And the attention rarely takes place in the newspaper, all the traditional outlets Hollywood still plays to. That’s right, Hollywood hates Rotten Tomatoes, but that’s where I go first! I mean in a time-challenged world, why waste hours?

So Apple TV+ is dribbling out the stiff on arrival “Morning Show.” Everybody in Cupertino is clueless. They know nothing about the entertainment industry. Everyone knows it’s hard to predict a hit, everyone knows the William Goldman quote, why did Apple think it was any different? You’ve got to overwhelm the public with product, so it has a choice, so something hits. This is another thing record companies have realized, however in this era of opportunity cost, they’re leaving complete genres on the sidelines, to their detriment.

But I watched “The Irishman.” I was eager.

I was disappointed, I’m thinking you will be too.

It’s Scorsese, he’s bad with arc. He gets the image, the feeling right, it’s just when it comes down to story… “The Irishman” is so linear as to look like a chart. Francis Ford Coppola inserted relationships in “The Godfather,” to make it more lifelike. In “Godfather II,” he went back and forth in time, to make sense of the family history. Sure, Coppola failed more than he succeeded thereafter, but he had big dreams, he tried.

Scorsese keeps making the same damn film over and over again. Oh, to be honest, I haven’t seen them all later ones. They just don’t feel like novels, with multiple acts, reaching to an unforeseen conclusion. They’re absent the drama of real life.

So what you get in “The Irishman” is history. Literally. In cars, outfits, everything is done exquisitely but the story.

And Frank Sheeran… Scorsese doesn’t even do a good job of demonstrating why Frank/DeNiro goes to the dark side.

DeNiro is good.

But Joe Pesci is phenomenal.

And after years of chewing too much scenery, Al Pacino’s performance is worthy of an Oscar, you truly believe he’s Jimmy Hoffa, not the actor underneath.

As far as the women? Two-dimensional characters at best. We never see the reaction of the wife Frank divorces, his adult daughter Peggy doesn’t even speak.

So Frank paints houses. Is he still working when he becomes head of the local?

And Harvey Keitel could be used more. He’s got that sinister look, like a true gangster, who will never be crossed.

So there’s endless hits, and a bit of Mafia politics. And you can see where the film is gonna end up, even though you can’t figure out why it’s going to take three and a half hours to get there.

Once again, Scorsese/Hollywood is not thinking of the audience. “The Irishman” should have been a miniseries. I mean what man over fifty can sit for this long in a theatre?

And sure, one might still binge the miniseries, but it’s the viewer’s choice. Instead, there’s this interminable film, you’re left waiting for payoff.

Maybe it’s because I watched it during the day.

Then again, I’ve watched “Ozark” during the day and been riveted. Hell, I could watch “Ozark” EVERY day!

Even the first season of “Mindhunter”. Although it too suffers a crisis of arc.

First and foremost, films, visual media, are emotional. If you don’t strike that chord, you’ve got nothing. Sure, I was scared the first couple of times Frank offed somebody, but it got to the point where it didn’t even bug me.

And the cars didn’t change perfectly with the times. Assuming you know cars.

But maybe that’s the point here, that it’s all ancient history, water under the bridge, the Mafia is a thing of the past.

Then again, whoever writes history controls it. Now viewers will be convinced the Mafia killed Hoffa, and that Kennedy was beholden to the Mob, and the truth is much more murky than that.

But at least Netflix gave Scorsese all that money. The studios were too afraid to pony up in a superhero/blockbuster world.

But Netflix’s business model is different. They just need people to keep paying every month, whether they watch or not. “The Irishman” enhances the brand. Meanwhile, Disney punts on this front. They make a “Star Wars” show for the brain-dead and for those wanting to chomp on something more…there’s nothing on Disney+, at least nothing new.

So, “The Irishman” should have been the story of the weekend. Believe me, if there was no theatrical run, it would have been the centerpiece of conversation on Turkey Day. And I don’t know about you, the last thing I want to do this weekend is go to the theatre/mall/look for parking. I want to stay home, and I did.

But to tell you the truth, “Atypical” hits more emotional notes than “The Irishman.”

But that’s another story.

Adam Alpert manages the Chainsmokers and runs Disruptor Records, a joint venture with Sony Music. Listen to how a whip-smart millennial has navigated the music business…from nightclubs to number one!

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I’d go again.

Isn’t that the main criterion? That’s how it used to be, the show was so good that you told all your friends and had to see every tour for not only the songs, but the production that you might not ever see again.

And believe me, this show is about production.

Actually, the show was a triple-header, starting with Lennon Stella, and then Five Seconds Of Summer, both acts the Chainsmokers have worked with.

The Forum Club was a cornucopia of boobs, both fake and real. Even more than when rock was down and dirty. It’s like everybody’s seen the movies, read the literature, and is acting out the fantasy for themselves. And it’s a whole new generation. Richard Griffiths was there, manager of 5S0S, and Rob Light, CAA represents all three acts, other than that it was a whole new crowd, in some cases barely legal. It’s like the old music business had been wiped out and a new one replaced it. And that’s what’s happening.

Now you’re aware the Chainsmokers have inhabited the top of the chart, but are you even paying attention to the chart? Never have so few been infected by the hits, today we can ignore anything.

But there is a scene.

So the Chainsmokers… One guy stands behind the synths, the other prowls the stage and the extended runway, and there’s a real drummer and…

A lot of lights, smoke, flash pots…every trick in the production book was in evidence.

What was not in evidence was charisma. Alex Pall is stuck behind the synths. And Drew Taggart jumps around like Gumby, like a cheerleader, there was no danger in this show, none of the edge of rock and roll, this was a celebration for fans, and they filled the Forum.

In an hour and forty five minutes, they did twenty nine songs. This was not the noodling of the acts at the Fillmore, or the latter-day jam bands, the numbers were short and sweet, at least relatively.

And there were covers. “Under the Bridge”? “Shout”?

And seemingly everybody who worked with the Chainsmokers was in attendance.

Well, not really. But Drew had a sense of humor about it, he said that Coldplay was not in the building, not there to perform their part in “Something Like This,” which has over a billion streams on Spotify.

But Lennon Stella was there for the opening number, “Takeaway.”

And 5SOS came out to do “Who Do You Love,” which was actually superior to any of the performances in their set, they were more energized

But the piece de resistance was the appearance of blink-182.

HUH?

I won’t give you the backstory, but Mark Hoppus came out to jump around with his bass, and Travis Barker pounded the skins and to tell you the truth I cannot fathom the absence of Tom DeLonge, but there was no doubting the energy during “P.S. I Hope You’re Happy.”

And Barker was one of the highlights, even though he was inexplicably facing away from the crowd.

You see earlier in the set the Chainsmokers’ drummer was on a riser in the middle of the arena and he played with…lit sticks, yup his drumsticks were on fire!

Now you’re starting to get the idea. The show was a weird combination of the circus and athleticism. Drew climbed a ladder and rode over the audience on a floating runway. Which angled to the point where you wondered whether he was strapped in.

And this big top ringmaster was surrounded by laser lights.

I’ve got to tell you, not being familiar with all the material, after about ten or fifteen minutes I started to fade out…how long do I have to sit here before it’s over?

But then the shenanigans ramped up to the point where you couldn’t look away.

The motorcycles…were they gas or electric?

And you couldn’t miss the cage, the sphere hanging right in front of the stage. Drew climbed into it, roamed around the iron, it seemed like kind of a waste, until…

Just before the show was over the motorcyclists came back out, all three of them rolled into the sphere and then…

I’ve seen this act before, but in a much bigger sphere. There was barely room for all three riders, one false move…

And then they brought out women and rode around them.

You had to tell yourself they wouldn’t crash, there wouldn’t be an accident, otherwise they wouldn’t be doing this, then again, the Wallendas fell.

And Drew is standing high in the sky, on a tiny platform.

And my eyes are scouring the Forum. I mean what exactly is going on here?

The girls behind me knew every word. Those in the pit were dancing. It was nothing like classic rock, the songs were confection, the only danger was in that sphere, it was a celebration of those in attendance, their lives, they went to relive the good times they’d had listening to this music.

So, the live business survives.

But it’s not like anything you’ve experienced before.

Tune in tomorrow, Tuesday November 25th, to Volume 106, 7 PM East, 4 PM West.

Phone #: 844-6-VOLUME, 844-686-5863

Twitter: @lefsetz or @siriusxmvolume/#lefsetzlive

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