My Car Battery

Tesla met its delivery goal.

My first car was a ’63 Chevy. Passed down to me from my sister. It was a convertible, it was loaded, and if you didn’t keep your eyes on the road it would pull right off of it. On a cold day in January, right after New Year’s, it wouldn’t start. So I went to the gas station in Manchester, Vermont and they installed an Interstate battery. My brain said I needed a Diehard, but there was no Sears in sight, watcha gonna do?

My following car was a BMW 2002. If it wasn’t totaled by a drunk driver on St. Patrick’s Day, I’d still be driving it. As it was, I still drove that thing for 180,000 miles. The first 120,000 miles were hell, literally everything broke, even the steering wheel, but after that, it was a dream!

Except for the batteries.

It came with a Varta. Heard of it? Probably not. You probably know Bosch, if you’re old enough you remember Blaupunkt. But this was before most people knew what a BMW was. I’d drive it cross-country and people would stare. It handled like a dream, you could drive right into a dip and it would absorb it, and the visibility!! It’s like someone lost the formula, have you seen the recent Lexus RXs? How you supposed to see out of that thing? Anyway, the Varta only lasted three months. And they would not replace it for free. And the dealer said it was junk anyway. So they recommended a local replacement, a J battery. It was a quarter the price and lasted about a year. After that, I’d go to Sears. The Diehards died. And when they did, after you got jumped, the car would fart as you drove it, you thought the thing was gonna explode, you drove to Sears to get a replacement immediately, where people were lined up at the Ticketron window, that’s how long ago it was.

And after that 2002 got totaled, after ten years, I got a 325e. That car required fewer repairs, but by this point people knew what a BMW was and the repair prices were insane! Nothing major would break, but the cost of a minor repair would set you back just as much. People would ask me about buying used BMWs and I’d say NO!, they had no idea of the costs involved, even if you had an independent mechanic, and they started to fall by the wayside, because the cars became more electronic and they didn’t have the equipment to test and repair them.

The battery of the 325e was in the trunk. Supposedly there wasn’t enough room up front. If you wanted to jump it, there was an electrical stump under the hood that you’d attach the cable to. And despite jumping cars ad infinitum in the sixties in Vermont, by this point they were telling you to not attach the negative cable to the post, but to a body part. I only had to jump the 325e once, in a blizzard, on a surface that was not flat, it was an adventure. But luckily, by this point batteries were maintenance free, which meant you didn’t have to put water in them, which was a huge pain in the ass in the old days, especially if you have OCD and you’re worried about the acid.

Then again, in my 2002, when it wouldn’t start, I’d have to go out and clean the battery posts. My skin would be ravaged. But you didn’t want to call Triple-A unless the car was absolutely dead.

So now I’ve got my Saabaru. Yup, it says Saab, but really it’s a Subaru WRX. I wanted a WRX, but when I test drove it it was stiff like a race car, and after putting Bilsteins in my 2002, I knew there was such a thing as too stiff, so I passed. But then Jim Rondinelli told me about the Saab 9-2x, which was a WRX, albeit with a slightly less stiff suspension and the steering rack of the WRX STi, which is essentially a race car, you know, you see them on the street, the ones with the wing.

So my car drives fantastically.

But that’s all it does.

It’s got a turbocharged engine, from back when that was a rare thing, when only performance cars had them.

And it’s got four wheel drive.

And if you’re buying that much performance, of course you get a stick, all of my cars except for the Chevy were sticks.

And being a Japanese automobile… It breaks less and the repairs are cheaper. But it still breaks, which surprises me, because I know people with Hondas and Toyotas with hundreds of thousands of miles that have been essentially maintenance free.

And speaking of maintenance, at first it was free, and you had to go to the Saab dealer, where they knew absolutely nothing about Subarus. The service writer did me a favor just before the warranty wore out, he installed a new battery. But then a friend noticed the tail lights weren’t working and I brought it back and there was battery acid everywhere, they installed the wrong battery.

From then on I took it to the Subaru place.

Where I bought a new battery, sooner than I thought was necessary, but I didn’t want the car to die in the hinterlands.

And in 2016, when I got rotator cuff surgery and the car wasn’t driven, I called AAA for a jump-start and they said the battery was dead, or was gonna die soon. Once again, I didn’t want to run on fumes, so I told them to replace it. And the deal is they come to your house and there’s a three year for free replacement warranty and…what the hell.

So I got home from a trip and the car wouldn’t start.

Cool. They jumped it, and I drove it and let it idle for another forty minutes, which is even longer than you need to to recharge the battery, and it started right away, but the next morning it wouldn’t. I had to go to a doctor’s appointment, so I borrowed Felice’s car, and by time I was free it was dark so I waited until this morning to call AAA.

Jose came in less than thirty minutes.

It’s all contracted out. And if you have a battery problem, they come in a pickup, not the whole tow truck. And the alarm went off when I opened the door, however softly, because the remote would not work. And Jose went about testing and…

I asked him how long he’d been doing this.

He said ten years.

I thought this was kind of an intermediary stop, you know, something people do for a few years and then move on. Which drives me crazy, because no one’s an expert. I figured Jose was an expert.

And yup, the battery was dead. How can this be? Other than the 2002, batteries lasted five years, it’s barely been three, I noticed it occasionally didn’t start on the first turn of the key, but I figured it was a deeper problem, like the starter, and I didn’t want to get it checked out, I’m anal about my car, if the service center says to do it, I do, and I’m trying not to put money into this car, even though my original goal was to drive it until we had driverless cars, which I now know will not happen.

And if I get a new car, I’m gonna get something I want, but I don’t want to spend the money, which leaves me driving the Saabaru.

But in a car-based city, I’m uber-uptight about a new machine. So having an old one…I’m less uptight.

As for leasing… That’s like setting a match to money, unless someone else is paying. And I don’t need to drive a new car every few years. That’s one thing about getting older, you stop worrying about impressing people, you are who you are. Actually, when people try to keep up with the Joneses you laugh, you figure they’re emotionally retarded.

So Jose likes his job. He looks young, but he’s over forty. And he’s married with two kids. And his wife manages a supermarket. I ask him if that’s a hard job, and he says it’s a good job, but I wouldn’t want to manage all those people, there are always one or two bad apples that make your life hell.

I asked Jose how he met her. He told me he’s Nicaraguan. And although he was born here, he met her on a trip down there.

You see this is de rigueur in California. We’ve got no problem with immigrants, sometimes it seems they outnumber those born here. And I wasn’t born here, I immigrated here, albeit from the east coast. I got here before the tide turned, before people became so jealous they had to denigrate the place. I can bitch all day about Los Angeles, but there’s nowhere I’d rather live. Sure, the traffic is hell. But it’s a land of freedom. The only person who ever asked me my SAT scores was from the east coast. It’s a fluid society, and everybody treats you like maybe you’re floating to the top, even though everybody’s so into their own trip they ignore you, which is exactly what I want.

So Jose has got two kids and as we’re talking he asks me if I have the receipt for the old battery.

OF COURSE I DO! THAT’S JUST THE KIND OF GUY I AM!

Turns out, on a prorated basis, I’ll have to pay just shy of eighty bucks. Cool, install it.

And then I’m thinking of battery installations previous.

They’re fewer than those in the 2002, but they still happen.

Why does the damn car need a battery, why are there so many moving parts?

So I was talking to Ron Stone’s kid Zach the other night about his Tesla 3. Ron said Zach loved it, couldn’t stop testifying about it.

I asked about charging. Zach said it was a non-issue. And that the charging curve was steep, you got a lot of miles right at the beginning, it’s only if you wanted the last couple that it took a long time.

But what stuck with me was when I asked Zach about maintenance costs. You hear all these stories about build quality.

Zach had driven it for 31,000 miles and the only money he’d spent on maintenance was for window washer fluid.

Hmm…

Now Teslas need no tuneups, there are very few moving parts. And the acceleration/performance is of near-supercar quality.

And sure, the batteries in a Tesla are more voluminous and integral than they are in my Saabaru. And if you drive a Prius long enough you need a new battery pack, which ain’t cheap.

And the right wing can’t stop laughing about electric cars. As for pollution, there is less, even though you’ve got to create the electricity, because electric engines are so much more efficient, i.e. the energy goes to power, whereas with gasoline internal combustion engines, a lot of the energy is thrown off in useless heat.

And supposedly Tesla would be eclipsed by the major car companies when they got up to speed, but the truth is Tesla’s battery technology is far superior.

So, does Tesla win?

Damned if I know. Look at WeWork. As for Elon Musk, he’s got a credibility problem, he’s demonstrated that nerds are not normal, but he is a visionary. If you want to make America great again, it will be about pushing the envelope of the future, not returning to the past.

And in the future I don’t want to own a car. And people won’t. Because it’s a bad use of a resource, it sits parked most of the time.

But I can’t get a Tesla anyway, because I’ve got to park my car on the street, we’ve only got a one car garage.

But it’s funny to be living on the cusp of the future, caught between two worlds. I’m replacing my car battery, Zach Stone has never stopped at a gas station, his car won’t need the fuel injection cleaned.

We expect everything to work right out of the box, until it doesn’t, then we throw it away and get a new one, which bugs oldsters, they’d rather repair, but that’s a bad use of human resources. Furthermore I don’t trust humans, I trust machines. Yup, straight off the factory floor, that’s how I like my products, as soon as a human touches them…they oftentimes screw them up, like I said, they’re only in the gig for a while and they’re low-paid with little expertise.

But I’m confident Jose did a good job.

But I’d rather not buy another battery for this car.

Jamie Kitman-This Week’s Podcast

Jamie Kitman is not only a music manager, he’s the New York Bureau Chief at “Automobile” magazine. In addition to his column in “Automobile,” Kitman’s National Magazine Award-winning commentary has appeared in “The New York Times,” “The Nation,” “GQ,” “Foreign Affairs” and more. Listen as Kitman gives the scoop on SUVs (they make more profits for the manufacturers and handle much worse than sedans) and his history managing They Might Be Giants.

Check out some of Jamie’s columns here:

Articles by Jamie Kitman

Listen:

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Bernie Sanders On Hasan Minhaj

I want to know what’s going on.

I’ve gotten “The New York Times” since junior high, but I only started reading it cover to cover at the turn of the century. I was visiting my sister Wendy in Minnesota and I had the time and ever since then…I haven’t missed a day, of not only the “Times,” but “The Wall Street Journal.” And I probably get more magazines than anybody you know. I’d be lying if I told you I read each and every one of them from cover to cover, but with no kids to hip me to what’s happening in the schoolyard, no water cooler moments because I work alone, this information is my gateway to what’s going on. And I’m all about the pulse, not the facts, but the meaning.

And despite reading all these papers and magazines, I also get “The Week.” I subscribed once and then didn’t renew, because I was snookered by a skewed article. But I signed back up a couple of years ago, and I wait for Saturday, to find out what I’ve missed. Which is very little. They’re quoting from all the publications I get, not only the NYT and the WSJ, but the WaPo too. Still, every week, there are nuggets.

Like in the latest issue, which I was devouring while I ate my Siggi’s Triple Cream with blueberries and walnuts.

Under the heading “Best columns: The U.S.” was one from “The Atlantic” billed as “America’s third party is under 30.” And when I read the condensed story, I resonated, there was the truth I see nowhere else, how the young are not only alienated, but pissed. The numbers are literally stacked against them.

And catching up on my e-mail, and waiting for one of my computers to update, I followed the recommendation of one of my readers to watch the December 16th episode of “Patriot Act,” Hasan Minhaj’s show.

Now you might think no one is watching, but on the free YouTube feed, there are already 1,140,009 views, never mind those accumulated on Netflix.

That’s right, while Bloomberg bombards TV as opposed to no-ad streaming, hearts and minds are really changed where he doesn’t reach.

So, this “Patriot Act” episode is entitled “Why We Can’t Retire.” And to tell you the truth, I know what Hasan is talking about, I can see where this show is going, until…

Bernie Sanders appears.

Now if you’re following popular culture, if you’re part of the Howard Stern audience, you know about four weeks ago, Howard interviewed Hillary Clinton. Gary had tried to get her on during the election, but of course Howard was too dangerous, she refrained, that’s what happens when you play it safe…YOU LOSE!

And Howard has power, especially amongst the boomers and Gen-X.

Hasan Minhaj has got power with a younger generation, the millennials and Gen-Z.

So Hasan sits down with Bernie and…

Starts asking whacked questions…AND BERNIE PLAYS ALONG! He’s irreverent, he tells jokes at his own expense, he seems completely in touch, like a good hang!

That’s why Hasan features Bernie, he says so, because Bernie is a hero to the younger generation.

Why? Because contrary to the rest of the pols, he’s got credibility, he doesn’t do what’s expedient, he won’t hew to the DNC guidelines, he’s his own man.

So we’re living in two worlds. The big arena, and the sideshow. But one thing the internet has taught us…all together, the sideshows trump the big arena. It’s not the days of three networks, many people tune out the mainstream completely, they want to get their news somewhere else, from trusted sources, like friends.

So last night I’m watching the inane CNN New Year’s Eve show, Ginny likes to tune in. And I’m wondering who Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are playing too. It’s the essence of network TV, even though it’s cable, it’s made for everyone instead of someone, but in 2020, there is no everyone, everybody is a member of their own tribe.

And then there are the acts appearing for the publicity. No one can say no anymore. They think of all those eyeballs. Credibility is irrelevant, they’re doing the wall street shuffle.

Everybody in America is selling. And I’m watching this production and I ask myself…WHAT HAPPENED TO IRREVERENCE?

That was a feature of the sixties. Boomers have it baked into their bones. Taking the piss out, via irony, via falsehoods uttered with a straight face. It was part of questioning authority. Come on, Frank Zappa specialized in it, and he’s an icon. And of course there was Monty Python… Today everybody’s safe. You’ve got jokes, but you can’t walk the line where people are wondering if you’re joking or not, especially in this era of political correctness. And you need humor to check power. Ask Paul Krassner or Abbie Hoffman or Jerry Rubin, if they weren’t all dead.

The youth abhor the fakery. Yup, the pols and the corporate wankers who lie and spin the truth and are completely untrustworthy. The youth feel powerless. Which is why when Bernie lost the nomination in 2016, many didn’t vote for Hillary, they voted for Jill Stein or stayed home.

You see our country is changing. The Republicans have no plan for the future, and now even Trump’s handpicked panel scorns science, it’s on the front page of today’s “New York Times,” which goes unread by the right but that doesn’t make it wrong:

Science Panel Staffed With Trump Appointees Says E.P.A. Rollbacks Lack Scientific Rigor

The right plays a long game. And now they’ve taken the NYT and the WaPo off the table.

But the truth is there are more of us than there are of them. Forget them, focus on us.

What does the Democratic Party stand for? Beating Trump? That’s not enough!

So you watch Bernie on “Patriot Act” and you realize why Joe Biden will lose. No one young is passionate about him, he’s out of touch with the jargon and he doesn’t know how to make jokes and you wonder if he’s even in touch.

Whereas Bernie is aged, but so sharp, he’s totally present.

Now if you read the “Atlantic” story, the author says the youth are doomed, because there are too many conservative boomers. And I’m not talking about Republicans, but conservative Democrats. One thing about a boomer, they can’t sacrifice. Sure, others can be lifted up, but not at their expense.

Now one thing the last election taught me, and this cycle is reinforcing, is that big time news has no idea what is going on. Why do I know? Because I hear from the right wing all the time, the blowback is intense. The left wing is nowhere near as organized, or as passionate, the right wing is working the refs all the damn time, to the point where those who speak become inhibited.

You don’t have to be educated and rich to be a music fan. But to write for the paper, to work in the government, the floor is quite high. And if you never interact with people, you’ve got no idea what they think.

Trump had a scorched earth campaign back in 2016, he felt he had nothing to lose. Bernie Sanders is playing the same way, he’s not triangulating, not backing off Medicare For All, he said taxes would go up, he didn’t pussyfoot, he owned the facts. Are people smart enough to understand the facts? If they’re paying attention, most are.

So what I’m telling you is don’t underestimate the youth vote.

I know the canard…that they don’t vote.

But they never had this much on the line, and back in the heyday of Vietnam, they weren’t old enough.

So how do you reach people today?

By working from the bottom up. Top down no longer works. You get a ray of attention, that most people don’t see, and then you’re gone.

If you want hearts and minds you’ve got to roll with the changes, make some jokes, not talk down to people but be seen as a part of their fabric.

I won’t guarantee Bernie Sanders will win the nomination, but one thing’s for sure, if Biden is the candidate, he will lose.

The DNC is not run by the youth, it’s got an investment in the status quo. And that status quo resonates with very few. The Democrats have been shedding constituents for fifty years. The unions, the blue collar workers, it goes on and on.

I just want you to think, where this country is going. Big change is necessary, and if you kick the ball down the road you’re just delaying and intensifying the crisis.

And the youth know the rich got richer, and that Trump’s 2017 tax law was a giveaway to the corporations.

“How Big Companies Won New Tax Breaks From the Trump Administration”

Now I’m not writing this for the right, even though I’ll hear from more of them than I will from the left, I’m writing for everybody else, to tell them that times have changed, everything has changed. Don’t fight the last war, the Facebook/social media ads, go where people are really listening. And talk to them on their level. Didn’t they call Reagan “The Great Communicator”?

I didn’t think so, but many people did.

Think about who is communicating on the left, and who they are reaching.

This is not about data, this is about emotion, feelings, connection, hope. Ignore the polls. Put your finger to the wind, try to take the temperature, try to see what’s really going on, even though it’s nearly impossible. I know, because I’m trying!

“Why We Can’t Retire-Patriot Act With Hasan Minhaj”

“The Millennials-Versus-Boomers Fight Divides the Democratic Party-The young left has become sort of a third party.”

Letter To A Manager

(I sent this e-mail to a manager, I believe it delineates the streaming equation.)

As for streaming…

The companies give 60-70% to the rights holders. Read the Iovine interview in the “Times” to see that the problem is not the streaming services, but the rights holders, if you squeeze too much, the streaming services go out of business.

So, if you license direct… You have an incredible deal.

If you have an ancient label deal, not so good.

Many modern deals, not with majors, are 50/50. As for the majors, depends on your leverage, usually whether you’ve proven yourself with streams and followers.

As for revenue… Don’t think of it as a per track rate, that’s not even how it works. The bottom line is, how much are people listening?

And it turns out, like the rest of society, it’s mostly winner take all.

As for those who used to make money on CDs… Those days are through, the labels giving big advances and supporting artists that are not superstars. The problem is the labels.

As for recording revenue…yes, it’s down for those who don’t stream a lot, but ticket prices have FAR exceeded inflation, and there are more ways to monetize in general.

Do not believe the scuttlebutt you read online, it’s always uninformed, it equates radio with on demand, ignorant people.

Then again, if you’re _______ ____, she’s got three tracks in double digit millions on Spotify. But her ancient deal probably doesn’t pay much. ______ not as good. But the truth is, instead of records going out of print, everything’s there for everybody to discover, and especially on heritage artists, people do discover!

However, the songwriters did get a bad deal with streaming, they need more points, but the damn labels won’t give them up!

Jimmy Iovine Knows Music and Tech. Here’s Why He’s Worried. The record executive who made the leap to Silicon Valley looks back on the decade in the music business, and sees a major problem on the horizon.”