It’s astounding. Truly.

It reminds me of seeing “Hamilton,” before the hype, during previews, just before opening night. I’m sitting there thinking…can this sustain, can this really be this good throughout?

YES!

But there’s a difference, “Hamilton” is warm, Seinfeld is cool.

As in you’d like to hang with Seinfeld to experience his brain, but you don’t think you could be friends. As much as he reveals his truth, he’s still surrounded by a force field that you won’t be able to penetrate.

So it’s about the jokes. The marvel of this special is there’s not one extra word, no wasted time. Normally you go see a comedian and there’s a long setup. There are asides, not elements of the jokes, connecting the comedian with the audience outside the programming. But there’s none of that here. Jerry comes out to a fanfare and then he hits them over the fence again and again and again.

This is not the pre-“Seinfeld” Jerry.

You used to see him on Carson, other places on television. He was never calm and quiet, but he only exhorted for emphasis. Here he’s playing to the very last row, on the verge of shouting. But that’s what makes the difference between a live show and one concocted in the studio. If you were there, you would have gotten it.

That’s the initial routine, about being there, organizing the trip, the tickets.

Jerry is the antidote to Covid-19. We’re taking everything so seriously, it’s life and death, you versus me, it’s a battle with everything on the line. But instead of focusing big, Seinfeld focuses small. As he always has. On the little things in life. And it’s definitely about life. The absurdities of it. You’ll watch and marvel, because you will have experienced what he’s talking about again and again and again.

This is not Chris Rock, smiling, laughing at his own jokes. Chris is leading up to the big punchline, you’re with him all the way, on the ride, he’s your bud. But Seinfeld starts at the same line but is always ahead of you, you don’t relax, sink into your chair, at best you’re holding on, as he takes you through a wild tour of New York City as well as your domicile.

Yes, Seinfeld is the Carlin of our day.

But with shorter jokes and many more punchlines. And, once again, without the same warmth.

Jerry got beaten up for saying he was on the spectrum. You can never get it right in today’s world, you’re always offending someone. What they want you to do is shut up, so they and their perspective can triumph. Then again, without you violating their rules they’ve got little to live for.

Now it’s been well-documented that Seinfeld did a long run at the Beacon. The pitch was the theatre was just down the street from his home, he could go to it like a job.

And that’s very different from going on the road. It’s more akin to Broadway. But in this case, it’s only Jerry. I wonder how long it takes him to come down after the show.

He doesn’t need to hang around, talk with the promoter, take pictures with insiders. It’s the same venue every night, he could literally walk right off the stage into a cab, or maybe an Uber…Jerry nails that too, tying it in with the iPhone.

It’s masterful, how Jerry analyzes each and every element of our humdrum lives. He even nails the husband/wife situation, hearkening back to Alan King and the comedians of yore.

You see Jerry is singular. This is what he does. And no one does it anywhere near as well as he does. If you want it, he’s got it.

This is from the era where it was about unique identity, before the millennial generation dictated that you had to saw off your rough edges and fit in. Jerry’s a boomer through and through, he wants to shine, he wants the accolades.

Watching this you can see the difference between Jerry and Larry David. Yes, Larry constructed the byzantine plot lines of the TV show, but Larry could never do what Jerry does in standup. Hell, Larry’s too lazy!

You’ve got to have the drive, and the talent.

I knew this special was launching today. But I only watched it this afternoon because of the interview in today’s “Times”:

Jerry Seinfeld Is Making Peace With Nothing: He’s ‘Post-Show Business’

It reminds me of the one Jerry did with Howard Stern, one of the best ever on the program. Because Jerry was honest and he truly didn’t care what anybody thought about his viewpoint. This is so rare. This is part of why Jerry believes he’s on the spectrum. And if you know people on the spectrum, they find it hard to make friends. They’re loyal to the ones they’ve got, but making new ones…the problem is they say the wrong thing, they don’t know how to navigate personal interactions, when to stay silent, when to lie.

Jerry is learning this in his marriage, he tells us all about this, switching from singledom to a couple. But there’s a good reason for him to hang in there with his wife, because he wants the eggs the relationship delivers, as well as the children. You know Jerry wouldn’t take this from just anybody.

So this explains the coolness I referenced above. You can marvel, but you just can’t penetrate.

So in the “Times” article, Jerry says he doesn’t have OCD, he just loves routine. He can’t be what you label him as. Once again, those on the spectrum love routine, it keeps them centered. But my point is Jerry is not confessing to flaws, that’s part of his identity, that’s part of what keeps him separate.

He talks about needing his kids to explain new online fads like TikTok to him, but once he’s got it, he never returns. That’s how I feel! I want to know about it, but I don’t want to waste time on it.

Everybody’s trying to gain attention online during the stay at home pandemic era, Jerry says no, he thrives on the live vibe.

But what really struck me is Jerry said:

“I’m really just into the pure art of it now. Just the bit, the audience and the moment. I’m more interested in that than ever, and I’m less interested in everything else.”

After all, he’s 65. That’s a point he makes in the special. He’s been there, done that, he’s got no need to see or experience it again.

And sure, Jerry’s got all the money, as David Letterman would say. But the truth is many 65 year old have enough to live comfortably (this is where the politically correct police crack down on me, just like they do on Jerry re autism…of course there are poor people, can we even talk about the upper middle class or is that a completely taboo subject?) But they’re in their sunset years. They paid their dues, they just want to relax. But Jerry is still in search of the zeitgeist. He’s more focused than ever. And watching this special you can see that.

And you should watch this special. I don’t know how many jokes will become part of the vernacular, that you’ll quote to your buddies, but I will say you’ll see yourself more in Jerry’s comedy special than you will in any one I’ve seen in decades. He’s you. You can afford the ticket. You’ve lived long enough to contemplate how you want to spend your time. But you feel so alone.

Watch Jerry Seinfeld and you won’t be.

Live Lounge Allstars – Times Like These

Why does a charity single have to be a dirge?

I saw Rapino’s tweet about this yesterday. And Michael rarely does tweet, so I paid attention, but when I saw it concerned the Foo Fighters I tuned out. In the early seventies, the Foo Fighters would have been seen as being on the same level as Grand Funk Railroad…overhyped, serviceable band embraced by the heartland but despised on the coasts ultimately releases a couple of good tracks and then disappears. Yes, I’ll admit to liking “I’m Your Captain (Closer to Home)” and of course Grand Funk truly achieved greatness with the Todd Rundgren-produced “We’re an American Band,” but Little Eva did the definitive version of “Loco-motion” and the rest was dreck, their double live LP was one of the worst ever, if you saw it in someone’s collection, you judged them negatively.

Same deal with the Foos. “Learn to Fly” was excellent, both the song and the video. But I stopped paying attention long ago.

All to the point that I did not know that “Times Like These” was a Foo Fighters song! But after listening to the charity single I went on Spotify and found out it had 86 million listens, which puts it at #10 in Foo plays on the service. No wonder I don’t know it.

So I played the original. It was fast! That kinda shocked me. I figured it too was a dirge, but NO! And the groove and the changes were there, but the Live Lounge Allstars version is so much better.

WHO?

Les Garland e-mailed me about the video. And I trust Les, anything he recommends I’m gonna check out, so I watched it and…

Found it a slow dirge, like I said above. But as it was playing in the background, as I’d already formulated an opinion on it, that it was lame drivel, IT GOT GOOD!

Once again, it’s the changes that got me. And they were good, so that’s why I looked up who wrote them and was stunned to find out it was a cover of the Foos tune.

But it gets even worse… WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Thank god, I scrolled down and the first comment was by one David Little. I’ll reproduce it here:

Hailee Steinfeld – 0:02
Dua Lipa – 0:21
Anne-Marie – 0:37
Ellie Goulding, Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters) – 0:43
Simon Neil (Biffy Clyro) – 0:50
Ellie Goulding – 0:53
Biff Clyro – 0:54
Jess Glynne – 0:57
Sam Fender, James Johnston (Biffy Clyro) – 1:02
Simon Neil – 1:07
Mabel – 1:09
Dan Smith (Bastille) – 1:14
YUNGBLUD, Dan Smith, Luke Hemmings (5 Seconds of Summer) – 1:19 Simon Neil – 1:25
James Johnston – 1:29
Ben Thatcher (Royal Blood) – 1:32
Rita Ora – 1:34
Mike Kerr (Royal Blood) – 1:44
Simon Neil – 1:49
Dermot Kennedy – 1:50
Taylor Hawkins, Ellie Goulding, James Johnston – 1:56
Sigrid – 1:58
Ellie Goulding – 2:02
Sigrid, Rag‘n’Bone Man, Grace Carter, Dan Smith, Ellie Goulding, Woody (Chris Wood, Bastille) – 2:03
Ellie Goulding, Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) – 2:09
Dua Lipa, Dave Grohl, Grace Carter, Ben Johnston (Biffy Clyro) –
2:14 Rag’n’Bone Man – 2:21
Zara Larsson, YUNGBLUD – 2:26
AJ Tracey – 2:29
Sean Paul – 2:45 Celeste – 3:01
Paloma Faith – 3:07
Dan Smith, Luke Hemmings – 3:17
YUNGBLUD – 3:23
Rita Ora – 3:30
Paloma Faith – 3:32
Everyone – 3:33
Chris Martin (Coldplay) – 4:02

To tell you the truth, I knew the majority of the names, but I couldn’t pick most of these people out of a lineup. And I felt so old and out of it until…I realized this is now the human condition, we’re all out of it, and if these performers were as famous as the media and their handlers think they are there’d be no need for this listing, never mind the 272 replies thanking David Little for delineating the performances.

So, the song does start like an irrelevant dirge, but then it gets hypnotic, you want to hear it again, and when was the last time you wanted to hear a charity single more than once, if even that much?

Now I recognized Dua Lipa. Quite possibly the hottest woman on the charts today. You get her, and everybody else falls in line, she deserves to be the first singer, and she nails it.

But I had no idea who the follow-up was, Anne-Marie, who had a rich powerful voice that reached me.

And Ellie Goulding, I recognized her, she was more than serviceable.

But who was this red-haired nymph Jess Glynne with the color in her voice? Actually, she’s never had a hit in the U.S., so I’m not gonna feel bad about being clueless.

I’ve been e-mailed multiple times about Sam Fender, good to see him sing, he’s got pipes.

But who was this woman Mabel? I hated that she appeared with her dog, that’s such standard-issue celebrity behavior, but she too could sing. Should I have known her? In the U.S. last year her album went all the way up to #198! She had a single that went to #66!! Whoo-ee!

Now to tell you the truth, most of the performances were interesting, but singling out a few more that truly struck me, besides Anne-Marie and Jess Glynne…

James Johnston was the rock singer Dave Grohl wished he could be.

And Mike Kerr of Royal Blood represented the rockers well.

And I always love seeing Rag’n’Bone Man, who added bottom with his rich voice.

The rap break was superfluous, but Sean Paul totally delivered!

And Celeste was really good, but Paloma Faith killed it. She’s got those deep pipes of women who front rock bands who steal boys’ hearts.

And when everybody threw in… It was not bogus like “We are the World,” but rich and satisfying.

Forget the obligatory Chris Martin ending. He’s the bridge between old and new, along with the Foos, but they were included because it was their song.

Now it comes down to songs, and this is one that’s almost twenty years old. Without songs, it doesn’t matter how much vocal talent you have.

But watching the performances in this video you get excited, it’s the younger generation’s time, and these performers have talent. Some have had great songs, others are still waiting for them.

So I’m stunned that the YouTube video only has 5+ million views, especially since it’s been out since April 23rd. That’s how slow things move today, you make a charity record that includes the singing of the hottest stars of today and still…nearly crickets.

One thing about Bob Geldof, he was a great promoter. Today, if you do it, they may not come. You need people to know about it and to be incentivized.

After watching this video I’m incentivized to check out further music of those who impressed me in it.

It’d be interesting to see what response a hip-hop charity video in the U.S. would have.

Then again, in the U.K. a broader swath of musical genres is exposed.

If you’re a rocker, if you like songs that touch you and set your mind free, if you’re wowed by talent, you’ll be surprised this reaches you.

Or maybe you’re one of those people still living in the last century, believing that you know all and your tired tiny genre is the only one that deserves attention and you have to denigrate everything else, but the joke is on you, because if this video hasn’t spread, what are the odds your music will, NIL!

And music is best when it’s universal. When it reaches a large audience. I don’t mean dumbed-down for everybody, but special enough that it will rise above and will generate a mass following, a group of people who believe they’re part of a club, who feel united in their faith in the music and those who perform it.

That’s what unites us. The music.

But when you shoot low, when you hype that which has no substance, you’re evidence of internet culture.

And when you get stuck in your tribe, you’re evidence of political culture.

But when you nod your head and smile, feel that there’s hope for you and the world, that’s MUSIC!

Show playlist:

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It’s very simple, it’s all about testing.

You start with the necessary workers, you know, those at the grocery store, the infrastructure that keeps America going. You test them on a regular basis. Then you open the spigot just a bit, and test those at retail and office locations. And you keep testing. And when you find someone who is infected, you isolate them until their infection runs its course.

But we can’t do that in America, because it’s going to impact our FREEDOM!

Let’s start with the tests. We ain’t got them. No one has covered this better than John Oliver last night:

Coronavirus VI: Testing: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

We live in an era of disinformation. Trump has employed Putin’s playbook. You beat up on the press, you put so many theories out there that the truth is in question. Even if someone in an official capacity is spewing facts, those are questionable too.

But to stay with testing, we haven’t got enough. Jared Kushner says we do, Trump says everybody who wants one can get one, but our testing today is unbelievably low and so is our capacity, experts say we need 5-35 million tests a day, at a minimum 500,000, but presently we’re testing close to 200,000 people a day.

But, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Isn’t that what Bush 2 said?

It was only the beginning.

And Brownie was doing a HELLUVA JOB saving New Orleans, and the end result was that the Republicans got wiped out in the next election.

But it’s even worse now, Trump is getting in a fight with Bush 2! Trump only has loyalists, essentially on the payroll, he’s got no allies. And you cannot win a war that way.

But let’s get back to freedom why don’t we, that’s the bedrock of America, as well as the right to carry an assault rifle and have no health insurance. They have an assault rifle massacre in Canada, and Trudeau outlaws the weapon, institutes a buyback program for those in existence, but we can’t do that in America, because those who possess them need them to fight America, if the government gets out of control.

Ever hear of a drone? Ever hear of cyberspace?

That’s where war is fought today. You might have read the story about ex-Googler Eric Schmidt being the new military expert, telling the generals to get behind machine learning, but these are the same overtrained bozos who believe the war will be fought on the ground.

So, the weather got warm and you want to go to the beach.

SO DO WE!

Do you think anybody wants to stay home? That they don’t want to go out and get a burger, watch a movie…

But we get everybody in the country on the same page, staying home, that’s quite an accomplishment, but then Trump and the anti-vaxxers start protesting, in small numbers, and it’s all over, we’ve got to open the country whether we’re ready or not.

But the big news today is even TRUMP expects Covid-19 deaths to rise prodigiously.

That’s right, it’s been the headline story all day in the aforementioned lacking credibility “failing” “New York Times”:

“Coronavirus Live Updates: As States Move to Reopen, 2 Projections Show Deaths Rising”

To 3,000 a day by June 1 from 1,750 today. Infections are going to go to 200,000 a day from 25,000 now.

THIS IS TRUMP’S ADMINISTRATION SAYING THIS!

It’s the headline in the “New York Times,” it’s finally made it to the “Washington Post,” but it’s not near the top at the “Wall Street Journal,” as for Fox News…the headline is all about Michael Flynn, isn’t this the equivalent of Hillary’s e-mails, but in reverse?

But the problem is all China’s. Trump wants China to pay for our losses.

Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.

But even worse, this is like looking for the person who set the fire while it still rages. PUT OUT THE FIRE FIRST!

So what we are looking for is leadership, someone to tell us what to do.

What the past six weeks have proven is we WILL do what someone tells us to do, the government leaders do have power.

But Trump kept saying it was the states’ obligation, and then occasionally took power from them. This is like the NFL letting every team set its own rules, and then Roger Goodell coming along every once in a while to change them.

So, people sit at home and run by their feelings, as if their feelings are worth anything.

Hmm… I can’t see the cliff, there is a warning sign but the drop is not visible, so I’m gonna keep going at top speed.

Meanwhile, all we keep hearing about is SWEDEN!

Well, it turns out it isn’t working in Sweden. Suddenly, deaths have skyrocketed! I could provide the link, I could provide links for all of this, but you’re not gonna believe them, so why bother.

And now we’ve got the insane Tara Reade story.

Only the Democrats can shoot themselves in the foot.

You don’t take the bait. You get out ahead of the story.

So, at first the left wing press buried the story and Biden stayed silent. And then the right harped on it so much that Biden had to respond. And he denied it. And that’s usually enough in today’s world, that kills a story in today’s fast-moving news cycle. But Biden waited too long, you jump on the accusation immediately. As for the press, it can see the truth in the right wing position, and now is self-flagellating, can you say JUDITH MILLER!

Yes, the “Times” printed an editorial over the weekend calling for a further investigation.

Today there’s an opinion piece in the Gray Lady saying Biden has to go.

So, once again the right defines the debate and laughs as the left trips over its sneakers.

It’s very simple lefties… JUST MOVE ON! And if questioned, say for the good of the country they’re not going to attack Biden.

Of course, the press and the DNC anointed the lame Biden and now they’re paying the price, proving once again that the handlers and the prognosticators are clueless. They’re so busy saving their status that they hurt the country.

So no wonder you feel alone, no wonder you feel stuck in the middle with me.

Facts have become irrelevant.

The economy is being trashed and those damn lefties made us shut down the country, so we’ll show them, WE’LL REOPEN IT!

And like those coronavirus deniers we read about in the past six weeks, new ones will die. It’s kinda like Lee Atwater, the dirty trickster working for Reagan and Bush, on his premature deathbed he recanted, tried to take it all back. That’s what happens when you die, you’ve got remorse.

But people die all day long, so what’s the difference now?

Well, the deaths far outpace those for the flu, but people still don’t believe it.

Bill Gates is knowledgeable on pandemics and has a profile, but the truth is he started the whole thing for personal gain. Yup, that’s what the anti-vaxxers and right wing believe. Gates is gonna ride in on a white horse with a vaccine, so why should he be believed?

As for Trump… He feels like there will be a vaccine by the end of the year. Just like he felt Covid-19 was an irrelevant issue in America.

And speaking of America, the supposed greatest country in the world, it turns out South Korea had a better plan. It’s kinda like 9/11, who could foresee terrorists flying into skyscrapers? OUR OWN DAMN GOVERNMENT! But you can’t listen to experts on the payroll, because they’re part of the deep state that is ruining this great country of ours, rogue entities that are now allowing Trump to rule as he sees fit!

Back to Tara Reade… The DNC didn’t foresee this? If Trump and his cronies were gonna employ a quid pro quo, dollars for dirt, with Ukraine for Biden info, and then Trump skates on impeachment, do you really think the Donald and the RNC are gonna be afraid and stop going on the attack?

So, you’ve got to go to the beach. You can’t get sick in the sunshine, it inoculates you!

But the data has come out saying exactly the opposite!

But data is manipulated, don’t believe it.

You’ve got the right to go to the office and go shopping. After all, you know plenty of people who go to the grocery store who are fine.

Meanwhile, they’re now wearing masks when Pence does not. And his reasoning? HE’S TESTED ALL THE TIME!

The goal is to limit the number of infected and isolate them, so fewer people can be infected by them, so infections die in the general population, but now the government itself is saying we’re going in the opposite direction by opening up the country, that deaths will double!

And it’s not even six degrees of separation. You or someone you know will die. You think you’re immune, but you’re not. And when it’s you…haven’t we learned that in today’s America no one can suffer, no one can take one for the team? Oh, people say this, but when it’s them, they want someone to pay, it’s unjust and unfair!

And who the hell is gonna go for a test if you’ve got to pay for it. Even if it’s free, many people don’t believe this, after getting ER and other medical bills. As for the illegals doing a lot of the grunt work, they’re never gonna be tested, they’d rather risk dying than being kicked back to Central America where they truly will die.

We’ve been skating for decades, saying the worst can never happen, that there will never be a rainy day. And it’s at all levels. People have no savings and corporations don’t either, if they’ve got any cash they kick it back to their stockholders, as for the government…it’s inefficient so it must be starved!

Not that anything I write here will change your mind. Because if you don’t agree, you’ve probably been subjected to DECADES of disinformation, you’d have to rewrite your entire history, better to go down with the ship.

As for the ship…

The Navy says Crozier can come back, but the secretary appointed by Trump is so afraid of angering the Donald that he’s kicked it back for another review. And when institutions fail, you’re screwed. This was a rubber stamp situation. But what we’ve got here is the lifetime employees saying get over it, it’s fine, Crozier should go back to being the captain, but the temporary employee with less experience says no. So, do you want to subject yourself to the system? OF COURSE NOT! You’re either muzzled or fired, you’ve got to take the company line or you’re history! So, it all comes down to keeping your job, is that what work should be about? Is truth irrelevant?

I always laughed when George Carlin said voting was irrelevant.

Oh, I know, I know, better Biden than Trump. There is a difference, but it’s gonna benefit the big people more than the little.

As for Biden…

Covid-19 is de rigueur, it’s part of the fabric, it’s the daily condition, if people are no longer scared of the virus today what are the odds they’ll remember in November?

All the statistics said Biden should emerge victorious, but now the right is ramping up, attacking Biden 24/7, who is so lame he can’t even FIGHT BACK! It’d be like someone dropping a nuclear bomb on your house and you waiting weeks to retaliate. It shows weakness, and aren’t we looking for strength in a leader? That’s one place Trump has got Biden beat.

And there will be debates, because Trump will cream Biden, that’s a given.

And what will the issues be?

THE PENUMBRA!

We’ve seen this movie over and over again. The Democrats nominate a reasonable person with experience and they lose over trivial matters that have nothing to do with governing. How about Kerry? He famously got Swiftboated. He went to fight and Bush 2 did not, but somehow it’s Kerry’s fault?

So, the Democrats could stop nominating the safe candidate, who always loses, and throw a longer ball. Someone who fights back, someone who sets the agenda.

But they’re scared of this. Trump breaks the paradigm and the DNC wants to re-establish it. What next, typewriters?

As for the Postal Service…

Of course it should be propped up. And it would be fine if the Republicans didn’t insist that pensions be paid way in advance. But Trump keeps saying the problem is Jeff Bezos, when in truth Amazon does not get favorable rates, and no one is explaining to the hoi polloi how the Postal Service benefits them. People believe they live in a purely digital world, so screw the mail carriers. They’re all on the dole anyway.

Meanwhile, everybody with a dime gets more. Your CEO is paid millions? Well, you need government assistance, the individual has no relationship with their bank, the business of America is business, and since we’ve stripped down the IRS and the overseers, you’re never gonna get caught anyway. Do you really think the Lakers would be taking this money if they were afraid of getting caught? Of course not, but today no one gets caught, except for the little person.

But the IRS is bad, as are the taxes it collects.

But it’s your taxes that pay the CDC, and you keep saying you want to be safe…

I give up. I’m just one voice in a million. I’m not convincing anybody to change their opinion. As for the bloviators on the flat screen and in opinion pages… That’s their business, they paid their dues, they aren’t letting in those who did not. It’d be like walking out of law school and demanding to be made partner at the law firm, doesn’t happen.

So, should you stay home, wear a mask and observe social distancing when everybody else is not?

Already people are standing closer, the data tells us this, the cellphone data. And you can just look at the pictures.

And I was just at a gas station, for every person with a mask and rubber gloves, there’s another in flip-flops living free and easy, and isn’t it funny that the richer people are, the more they believe they’re immune. And, in fact they are. They’ve don’t go to the grocery store and they certainly don’t have to work there. And if they think they’re infected, they’re connected and get a test instantly. And then our leader says this is the way life is in these United States.

It most certainly is.

But it shouldn’t be.