Carvel closed for winter and opened every year on my birthday!! (3/15)

My sister Jill

P.S. Also the Ben and Jerry’s seconds shop in Manchester . Never knew what you were going to get

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How can I not weigh in?

You may recall my birthday party where I had ice cream flown in. When I was a kid my favorite flavor was chocolate, then vanilla as an adult, now coffee. And like you, H-D on Barrington.

Cherry Garcia was no. 1, then succeeded by Phish Food (like you). But then my favorite was From Russian With Buzz. I was crushed when I learned it was discontinued because I wasn’t able to stock up. I’m eating far less ice cream  these days. My B&J problem is being unable to find my current favorites Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz or Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch. Or being able to find newer concoctions like Chocolate Shake It and Chillin’ the Roast to sample. The website’s Flavor store locator isn’t reflective of a store’s inventory.

Harold Bronson

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Hey Bob, it’s funny that you describe your experience with this flavor in this way. For me, the first few times I tried it, it was a downright sensual- almost sexual experience.
The thought crossed my mind more than once- “this tastes too good to be legal.”
My wife cooked up some stewed peaches the other day and I put the two together. Try Peach Melba with Americone Dream. Your brains will truly fall out.

Paul Burstyn

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This has been around for a long time, back when Stephen was hysterically funny as his character on The Colbert Report, rather than just very funny now

It was a play on The American Dream and played to his characters inflated ego of having an ice cream named after him

And as usual with Stephen, the proceeds went to charity

Richard

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What a fun letter….you left out  Magpies soft serve.  One on Griffith Park,  and one in Tarzana.   Vegan Ice Cream that will blow your mind!!  All hand made, not from some base that you buy in a drum.  Corn Almond, Black Sesame, banana caramel. OMG. So good.

Started by a couple of chefs that worked in fine dining, and then said screw it, and now just do really high end soft serve.

It’s one of the few addictions I have left.

I’m driving down there right now!

Kim Bullard

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Two words: Muddy Bites  https://www.muddybites.com/

 jl

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Americone Dream is heaven on earth. And as you said, left to slightly unfreeze – incredible. Glad that it does not come in a larger container, as I’d succumb. I support local ice cream shops, but credit to Ben & Jerry’s: They get my money for this fantastic product AND for being good citizens.

Jim Mulhern

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You really hit a home run with this article. Great writing!

My favorite ice cream experience is the memory of Gruning’s in South Orange, New Jersey.

Long closed, it was the scene of my parents courtship, as well as THE place for me to gather with friends after Columbia High School Saturday football games.

Everything I need to know I learn from Bob Leftzus .

Sincerely
Joyce Ann Martin
San Diego, California

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If you like Americone Dream, Haagen Dazs has a flavor called Caramel Cone which is the same as Americone Dream but with caramel ice cream. I find it adds more depth of flavor and provides a more caramelly experience. Also, the quality of the Haagen Dazs ice cream is of a superior quality imho.

Scott Macklin

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I worked in Carvel in high school for a year or so in the late 70’s. One of the best jobs I ever had because the owner said to eat as much as I wanted. He knew people would get sick of it after a while…but he didn’t know me. I ate ice cream every day I was there. When I got tired of chocolate, I switched to vanilla for a while. I was never a vanilla fan, but it’s still better than no ice cream. Explored the dark cherries, pineapple, marshmallow, the “bonnet” coatings and all the toppings. I ate as much ice cream on my last day there as on my first day. There was always a rush when the movie theater let out, but other than that, pretty easy job, and a fun job for a high schooler.

 

Perry Resnick

P.S. Did you see this new ice cream creation reality show? Starts tonight on Food Network. Curious to see if it’s any good. What can be bad about watching ice cream challenges.

 

“Ben & Jerry’s Creates Ice Cream for Man’s Best Friend”:

https://www.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/news/ben-jerrys-dog-ice-cream

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I grew up in Brentwood in the 70s… we usually went to the 31 Flavors at San Vicente & 26th….and the cones were .25.

BUT did you ever go to Swensen’s (“ice cream parlor” I think it was) on Wilshire near 26th… they had an orange chocolate chip (just googled: swiss orange chip) that was killer.  It’s now my mission to find that again.

Thanks for the sweet memories.

Katherine Turman

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Heath Bar Crunch!

Richard Griffiths

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Starting your ice creme story with the Amazon acquisition of diapers.com and ending with ‘ice creme soup’ is a lousy thru-line (pitch= “It’s a disaster movie for sweet-toothed parents that ends in a stinky mess”) but reading the details whet my appetite for more. Ordering from that neon menu at Robin Rose (after a coffee at the Rose Cafe across the street) was worth the drive (and the “tar foot” from walking on Venice Beach) from N. Hollywood every Sunday in the 80s. And the HD and Ben&Jerrys dip shops were great but did you ever have gelato at that place on Melrose a few blocks west of Flip? And how about that place on La Brea that serves the rose creme “Masthi Malones?” LA fusion at it’s finest.

These days I’m happy to live in Burbank where we have the B&R 31 Flavors HQ (and drive thru) in spitting distance. Cheers to great ice creme!

David Benson

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Too bad Metropolitan Boston was a bit too far for your father to travel. He could have picked up some hand-packed Brigham’s vanilla ice cram and a half pint of the best hot fudge sauce ever.

Once John Travolta visited Boston at the height of his career. He was asked what his favorite thing about the city was. “Brigham’s”

Haagen-Daz – from Teaneck NJ!

Tom Quinn

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Your Dad was spot-on re letting ice cream “breathe” like a good wine, except I prefer the hands-on approach of squishing and stirring it until the outsides gets runny and that is where you begin the spooning. Only a maniac would risk bending a spoon digging in from the top.

Our friends in Ottawa run a shop called the Merry Dairy and apart from their seasonal offerings (butter tart!) their coffee ice cream (which happens to be vegan, but whatever) is perfect for spooning into a lather and then working outside to inside. Added benefit: the joy of each spoonful is spread out over a longer period of time.

Vikas Sharma

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I grew up south of Boston and my first job was at a Friendly’s directly across the street from my home.

 

As I was so close, I often worked the afternoon shift until closing.

 

There was a large freezer next to the front door where the half gallons were kept to sell to the customers.

 

When we closed, the Manager would sit in the last booth at the back of the room and would count the registers and when done would bring the money downstairs to the safe.

 

Since I was mopping the floors I would on occasion (ok, pretty much every night I closed) help myself to a half gallon, and leave it in the bushes out front beside the door while the Manager was doing his thing.

 

Where to begin?  Chocolate Chip, Chocolate Marshmallow, Butter Pecan, Strawberry and my personal sherbet flavors Lime and Watermelon.

 

On my birthday in July my parents would treat me to a ‘Jim Dandy.’  Four scoops of your choice, a full banana, choice of toppings, and of course jimmies and nuts on top.  Didn’t get much better but I digress.

 

There weren’t too many flavors  I didn’t help myself or my family to.  I took requests…

 

The statute of limitations is up right?

 

Wishing for a double scoop of Chocolate Chip with jimmies on a sugar cone (no waffle cone for me thanks) right now!

 

Regards,

 

Ray Levin

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Bob, I am living your Ice Cream orgasm right now, but have your tried Tillamook? It’s from a creamery in Oregon and their quality and creaminess is The Best! If you are into Chocolate as much as your post indicates, you should try the Tillamook Mudslide. Trust me on this, it’s why I needed to buy bigger pants after a year into this PanDammit, plus it has helped me survive as a non drinking first responder, it’s my high at the end of the day.  They have three vanilla flavors, the Olde Fashioned Vanilla is the creamiest due to butterfat, even the dog prefers it to Vanilla Bean.  I will follow awaiting your trial, if I can get this Ice Cream in Florida, you should be able to get on the west coast.  Enjoy!

Robin Grab

Disenheartened Nurse.

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We LOVED your Ice Cream blog. It arrived while we were at Handel’s homemade ice cream. I got the heavenly hash.  Julie got the Chocolate Malt with Caramel. We were sitting there enjoying the sugar high when you blog arrived. . .

www.handelsicecream.com

Russell & Julie

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Great ice cream tale especially appreciated by a reader who discovered Carmel cone last week & immediately doubled my daily workout time.  If you haven’t read the artisanal ice cream story in today’s NYT Business section, you will be interested to say the least.
Thanks for being interesting & opinionated!
Joan Grayson

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Amazing read… as I am enjoying Half-Baked!!!

And yes, Friendys was still in its prime when I was growing up in the 80s… if you can still find one the food is terrible but the sundaes are to die for

Gregory McLoughlin

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Häagen-Dazs FRENCH VANILLA (with the bean specks) with MRS. RICHARDSON’S Caramel Sauce. Container and jar open in front of me, spoon dipped into each, in sequence, per bite.  I could have skipped right over my cocaine days if I’d only discovered it sooner. Though moderation is equally difficult for both substances.

Jim Neill

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I’ve been hooked on Americone Dream for years. It’s the best!

James Staubes

Culver City, CA

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You should try HALF BAKED… that may be the best one of them all !

Konstanze Louden

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Love the Friendly’s and Carvel references.  GREAT story.  I grew up in West Hartford and spent hundreds of nights having their chicken strips basket or Big Beef and a coffee Fribble – extra thick.

Bret Clancy

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You’re missing the best ice cream in LA, the amazing Persian place on Westwood Blvd.

https://saffronrosepersianicecream.com/

Best,

Alan Swyer

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how about Farells and the pig trough??

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farrell’s_Ice_Cream_Parlour

I loved that place as a kid

– Ivan Arnold

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Bob, ice cream should be the most passionate topic in the human dialog. Now you will be bombed by everyone’s claim of best ever.  These are mine.
McConnell’s
Graeter’s

Mike Dungan

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Try Gingers in Culver. Best ice cream in LA

Ben Patterson

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Chubby Hubby. Which, if eaten as much as I’d like, would turn me into one. It’s Vanilla Malt ice cream with chocolate-covered peanut butter filled pretzels and a peanut butter swirl. Holy shit.

Then comes Chunky Monkey for me. Those are all I need.

They stopped making my favorite Haagen Dazs flavor years ago, and I hate them for it: Vanilla Fudge. Their amazing vanilla with this never frozen fudgey swirl throughout. I still miss it. I boycott them because of it.

Carvel sucks now, by the way. I still need a flying saucer fix every now and then, but they’re fucking EXPENSIVE now. Not worth the price or the freezer real estate.

BUT…their ice cream cakes are where it’s at. No one comes close. And they’re so simple: vanilla, chocolate, separated by chocolate crunchies. Never did I find stale crumbs so appealing, but that’s basically what “crunchies” are. If my friends had a birthday party and didn’t have that ice cream cake – major disappointment. To this day, not a cake fan. But totally a Carvel ice cream cake fan.

Now where’s that Cookies n Cream?

-Rob Maurer

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Addicted to Americone Dream since I first tried it… its the crack cocaine of ice creams… tho these days I rarely buy it any more because, well, it’s like the …

Wallace Collins

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Jolene and I were addicted to Americone dream for years!  It is amazing. Before that ben and Jerry’s had the tonight dough with jimmy fallon’s image on it which we loved – they have since changed the ingredients on that which does not interest me.

Ben and Jerry’s now makes these 3 packs of americone dream dipped in chocolate – like hockey pucks. They also make chocolate chip cookie dough in this manner too. I keep on buying them and we cut them into pieces so I don’t pile on the pounds. You should try those too.

Eric Herz

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You missed Blue Bell Bob!

Michael Murphy

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You can still get an Awful Awful at all the Newport Creamery’s (basically Friendly’s) all over Rhode Island.

https://www.newenglandhistoricalsociety.com/rhode-islands-awful-awful-love-affair-history/

Jon Bahr

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I’ve been totally hooked on Chunky Monkey for a few years now.  Almost every night a have some after dinner.

I’ll have to try Americone Dream!!

Alex Torrez

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Karamel Sutra Core is Ben & Jerry’s best, IMHO.

But NOT Salted Caramel Core, something isn’t quite right with that one. They aren’t even close.

Andrew Yungkurth

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“Refreeze”.

My Dad was a milkman for Quality Dairy in San Diego.  He was up at 4am everyday to go to work.  There were no refrigerated trucks, they used blocks of ice, so he had to load the trucks with ice.

Once in a great while the 1/2 Gallon tubs of ice cream would melt and refreeze later.  This ice cream was considered damaged and not to be sold so he would bring it home to us 3 kids.

After a while he was bringing home a steady supply of ice cream, perhaps it had only melted a tiny bit, I’m not sure, but the word “refreeze” had a certain magic at our house.

Of course this was before fat was bad for you, ice cream had a very high rating in the “pyramid of foods” and was considered very healthy for growing children.

If I was a billionaire I would buy everyone in the world an ice cream cone right now!

Ice Cream Forever.

thanks

Jack Tempchin

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Dastardly Mash by Ben and Jerry’s was my all time fave. Chocolate ice cream with pecans, almonds, raisins and chocolate chips. I had a great college run with it in the late 80’s until it was unceremoniously put down in 1991. I’ve subsequently paid my respects at its graveside at the Flavor Graveyard at the Vermont facility. RIP.

Dave L

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Dude….drooling. Purchasing first thing tomorrow Bob – DANK me lol.

Mike Serra

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Haha, ice cream is also my weakness.I used to eat whole pints of Haagen Daz coffee ice cream in one sitting when I was young and skinny and could get away with it.

There is IMO an incomparable caramel sauce made by an ice creamery located in Piedmont, California in the Oakland hills called Fenton’s. Since moving to Los Angeles in 1987 I’ve searched high and low for a caramel sauce as good. I’ve bought every brand but most are made with corn syrup. Not Fenton’s! if you ever get up to the Bay Area go to Fenton’s and order a Caramel Sundae with Toasted Almond and Mocha Royale ice cream. Absolute Heaven. https://www.fentonscreamery.com/

I was overly excited  that after 30+ years of having family and friends mail me jars of their caramel for Christmas or birthday they FINALLY started to sell it online during the pandemic. I can largely blame my extra pandemic weight to ice cream and ordered jars of Fenton’s caramel. Like you, I say the simple pleasure of it was worth it.

Now, if they’d just open a creamery down her in Los Angeles!

Cheers to ice cream!

Anita  Zaccaro

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There is – or was – a Jimmy Fallon flavor too; “Late Night Snack.”

I don’t even remember what the hell was in it, but it was genius. Sin itself. Literally beyond the realm of the cheat-meal senses; better even, if memory serves, than Americone Dream.

Which is also insanely good. But that Fallon one, man…🤯

Best,

Peter Zizzo

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Bob, Ben & Jerry’s don’t make it any  more but their White Russian was ice cream nirvana. Jeff Hayward/Maine

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We played a private in Alamo last night, and decided we’d drive the 3.5 hrs home to Tahoe after the show instead of grabbing rooms in Danville. My partner started reading your email aloud to keep me awake while driving. He finished reading it about the time I pulled into the Safeway parking lot in Placerville. We left 5 mins later with 2 pints of Ben & Jerry’s: Americone Dream, and Salted Caramel Almond. We polished off both delicious pints between there and Tahoe and sat in silent shame for the rest of the drive. It used to be girls and tequila. Now it’s Lefsetz and Ben & Jerry’s. Damn you, Bob Lefsetz!

Name withheld out of shame, embarrassment, and disregard for lactose intolerance

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My pandemic jams were Justice Remixed https://www.benjerry.com/flavors/justice-remixd-ice-cream and Chip Happens https://www.benjerry.com/flavors/chip-happens-ice-cream. Chip Happens is a Netflix collab. It’s not the first time B&J had potato chips in the mix. I find myself pissed sometimes that Jimmy Fallon went to The Tonight Show because it killed their ‘Late Night Snack‘ flavor https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/sorry-jimmy-fallon-ben-jerrys-late-night-107344832491.html. ‘The Tonight Dough’ is as gormless as it’s namesake. I’m sure I’d prefer ‘A Closer Lick’… https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/23/arts/television/latenight-seth-meyers-ben-jerrys.html

Also try Glampfire Trail Mix, but it’s a Target Exclusive — https://www.benjerry.com/flavors/glampfire-trail-mix-ice-cream/

George White

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In the early 2000’s B&J was fedexing weekly test pints of 1 sweet world to dmb mgt to try and decide what the right ingredient combo/ratio was. Pure heaven opening that package stuffed with dry ice and then having to microwave them because they were solid. The microwave was our breakthrough as well.

Ryan Burton

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Refreshing topic…

Closing the night with a fork and pint of Phish Food, and an episode of Seinfeld- is a small victory reward for serving and surviving another day.

Simply terrific.

Nick Sproviero

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Congratulations on your discovery.  It’s often not heavily stocked and finding a pint at a bodega is its own little thrill.

Lars

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All good flavor choices. Certainly I’ve consumed multiple Olympic sized pools of ice cream. After all, it is the important food group where any size container is a convenient single serving!

All the best Bob

Robert Heiblim

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Do you know Graeter’s, out of Cincinnati? Or the local McConnell’s? Both fantastic, though expensive.

Paul Slansky

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Loved Friendly’s

Michael K. Clifford

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For me it was Chubby Hubby that got me hooked on Ben & Jerry’s. It’s sad I can no longer find it where I live. But then again like you I know hard it is not to be able to find Dannon Coffee Yogurt anymore.

At this point I think if I found both of them I’d dump the yogurt on top of the ice cream and go sit under a shady tree and be in “harmony” as you put it.

Brian Kelly

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It’s a bit sweet. Good though. Their best flavor was Vermont Blueberry which they made in the early nineties. It’s in the flavor graveyard now with little chance of being resurrected now that they are owned by the man.

Aaron Carlson

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If you are ever in San Francisco, try Mitchell’s Ice Cream – one location only – not to be confused with others in the USA with the same name.
They have a wealth of flavors.
I have only been there twice since I live in Texas. It is the best ice cream I have ever tasted.

Mitchell’s is a family-owned business located in San Francisco’s Mission District. All of our ice cream is handmade in our shop daily. We make small batches of 16% butterfat, super-premium ice cream.

Regards,
Dave Machanick

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Bob. Great post. Do yourself a favor and go to Ralph’s and try Tillamook ice cream. Delectable Malted Moo Shake. Oregon Strawberry. Mudslide.  3 different vanillas. Life changing.

Lawrence Y. Iser

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I’m a Chubby Hubby kind of guy and probably in more ways than one (ask my Wife), but it’s those Fudge-Covered Pretzels that speak to me…

Tim Pyles

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Great story – next time you come to Toronto, ask Jake Gold to help you find some of this stuff:

Moose Tracks®

Primo stuff! Keep well Bob!!

Ross Whitney

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I hear ya, Bob. I ate a whole pint of Americone Dream Friday night, and considered chewing the cardboard tub thereafter. It was that good.

Scott Roback

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Carvel chocolate soft serve cones dipped in hot fudge.
Not every store would dare do it, when the cone is 180 upside-down it could fall in and ruin everything.

The cold ice cream would crystallize the fudge and depending upon how quickly you ate it you had soft

Chocolate at the top and a hard crust nearer to the cone.

In order to prevent the ice cream from falling out, the server would “pack it” into the cone, kinda like people

Tamp their cigarettes when opening the pack (God forbid a tiny morsel of tobacco goes unsmoked, but I digress…)

They wouldn’t do it in my home town Westbury, Long Island. Had to travel to Hicksville to get it, well worth the trip!

Paul Bizzigotti

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Loved this post. Here’s some comments on various things.

Here in Essex County, New Jersey, we had a Friendly’s in Livingston and a Bond’s in Verona. Both towns bordered my home town of West Orange.

Bond’s was the originator of the Awful Awful. They had a promo of “Drink 3 and get one free”, and posted the names of all those who did. There were not THAT many names! They were HUGE! Bigger than the Fribble.

Friendly’s was the first place I ever had a tuna melt (tuna & grilled cheese).

Carvel HAD the best ice cream cakes. Period.

Dairy Queen didn’t close during the winter in West Orange. We’d hang there after school and at night on week ends during Junior High. They used to have a thing called a Mister Misty Freeze. It was basically a flavored slushie, but with ice cream blended in. I loved lime.

I’ve always been a sugar cone guy.

Regarding Ben & Jerry’s: No love for New York Super Fudge Chunk?!

Kevin Kiley

PS Bettye is always on the hunt for Black Walnut Ice Cream. Seems that no one makes it any more.

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I’ve been a skeptic, but I too want to believe in the Americone Dream.  I’ll try it out.  I’ve been pleasantly surprised by other flavors like Netflix and Chilled and Salted Caramel Core.  I’ll also try Phish Food sometime.  I was way into Rocky Road as a kid but marshmallows have lost some of their charm for me as an adult.  If I had to choose one out of them all, Chunky Monkey still reigns supreme!

Geronimo Son

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Have you never tried Gimme S’more???  Now that’s 1 addictive flavor!!!

https://www.benjerry.com/flavors/gimme-smore-ice-cream

Leigh Lust

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Nothing like a CARVEL cone. Even Conte’s or Maraczi’s couldn’t compete. Mitchell Dairy? Nope! Brock Hall? Nah. And the Westport Ice Cream Parlor? Forget about it! CARVEL ruled. Milford or Fairfield Center. Didn’t matter.

CARVEL briefly relocated its corporate offices to Atlanta when I lived there in the ’90s and we saw them sprout franchises all over town for about 20 years. Then poof! They started disappearing. Even the prized kosher CARVEL in Dunwoody is gone.

Where’d they go?

Ken Shain

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I loved this piece so much.  Yes to Phish Food!  The only thing missing for me was a reference to Pralines & Cream when you were talking about BR.  Long before B&J, that was my go-to flavor.

And reaching back one more half-generation, this brought back fond memories of the Good Humor truck coming down my street.  Toasted Almond.  Strawberry Shortcake.  Chocolate Eclair.  And, in later years, Chocolate Chip Candy and, my all-time favorite, Chocolate Fudge Cake.

Thanks for the memories!

Scott Kauffman

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Graters in Cincinnati — raspberry chocolate chip and mint chocolate chip. Flavors you’ll never forget.  And they’re quarantine friendly- packed in dry ice and shipped to your home. Good luck putting the spoon down

Rusty Young
MusicWorks C

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Rum Raisin , Carvel soft serve with sprinkles and a Fribble……screw this boutique crap……..and I kept my old Hamilton Milk Shake Maker probably 50 years old with the original silver cup and it still kicks ass……..nothing else to say

Chris Apostle

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Great post, maybe your most controversial ever.

I’m with you – chocolate marshmallow ice cream is (was?) the best flavor ever, and seems impossible to find these days, superceded by Rocky Road, which ruined everything by adding nuts.

And I think that Ben & Jerry started in the basement of the outpost store up in Burlington of Bennington Potters, founded by my childhood best friend Marty’s parents, David and Gloria Gil.

Microwaving that pint to soften it up is an art, and it varies by brand, by microwave, and also by freezer temp, which can vary.

Toby Mamis

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Going to Friendly’s for “brunch” on a Sunday was a treat growing up. Also, any time after a school play or event – the parents would take the kids to Friendly’s.  I remember the Big Beef for sure. Remember the hot dog bun being grilled when getting a hot dog. My go to was the Jim Dandy. Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberry Ice cream, with all the toppings  and banana. Basically a banana split on steroids. Service a huge m, almost chalice like glass. So good. Loved the booths and the swivel chairs. A shame they are basically gone in New England.

Frusen Glädjé. Forgot about that. Great packaging!

Love ice cream. Pretty much only have frozen Greek yogurt these days…

Adam Lewis

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Wow. I must try this flavor. I’m a chocolate and a vanilla guy. I live in East Nashville right near Jeni’s Ice Cream.

This is my ritual-

I walk up to Jeni’s.

I order online in advance.

This way I’m able to cut the line!

I order a pint of vanilla honey bean and a pint of darkest chocolate.

I walk back amd it’s perfectly softened.

I get out my favorite bowl.

Scoop away the perfect mixture of both flavors. Equal parts. Maybe a tad more chocolate.

Slice up a banana. Add almond slices. Add a few cashews and a couple blackberries and a few Rice Krispies for even more crunch. Then I hog it all down like a weirdo on a crack high. This is my ritual. You understand. I understand. We all scream for ice cream.

Today is the day I purchase some Americone Dream per your recommendation.

Thank you for this missive. It made me feel ok. Like I wasn’t such a bad person for my addiction.

May your B cells flourish. It’s time for you to get back out there. Here’s to hoping that this pandemic wanes and you’re able to once again travel.

Yer pal,

Steve Poltz

Bob – know which President first mandated our army get vaccinated? George Fucking Washington. (Not his actual middle name.) On Feb 5, 1777. Seven months and a day after they signed the document that Declared our Independence. So if these Freedom Lovers want to return to the glorious days of our Founding Fathers, how about they take one for the team and jab up.

Enough already.

Eric Chaikin

LA, CA

Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.statesman.com/amp/5456106001

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Ben Franklin was pro-vaccination, one of the first to understand and promote it. For small pox, that is. And he published his own newspaper because his own brother was an anti-vaxxer, and he wanted to present the facts. Then… his wife was also an anti-vaxxer, and as a result their son, Franky Franklin, caught small pox and died at age four. (At the time they claimed they’d delayed because Frank had a stomach bug, but the truth later came out.)

Just as with Napster, history has a thing or to teach us still, eh?

Ralph Covert

https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2021/08/14/ben-franklin-smallpox-son-vaccine/

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Just got home from seeing Matt Nathanson in downtown Napa CA. The outside concert required vaccination proof. Easy as shit, showed up with Vac card and photo ID, walked right in… took less time than the old pat down/search…. Felt good to be back at a concert, and as a working musician it felt great to perform twice this weekend. Get the vaccine people and let’s get back to the living.

~ Alec Fuhrman

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My wife and I attended the Pasadena Pops concert last night which was outdoors at the Arboretum in Arcadia (the first concert I’ve been to since the pandemic). Two people in front of us were barred from entry because they weren’t vaccinated, simple as that.

Samuel Jones

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Actually, we were the first, but too small to get the credit—only 12 venues and 16 stages.  Not a 900 pound Gorilla yet.   We have been Vaccine only since April in NYC and then first in every market since July.   We had protesters at our Nashville location when we were the only ones requiring it.  Now many small clubs are.  I was on the record on at least 20 TV, print and radio interviews saying exactly what you were saying, and telling AEG and LN to step up, glad AEG listened.

Michael Dorf
CITY WINERY | CHAIRMAN & CEO

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Excellent observation. Letting in the unvaxxed is ultimately bad for business. Who wants to get dosed by some rube asshole? Who wants to sit or stand next to them? Who wants to accept the liability? As we learned from Watergate and everything since, follow the money. When all they can see are washed up idiots like Van or Clapton, they’ll buckle. Not arguing and not rolling around in the mud with these fools is partly how we got rid of Trump. It’s a proven formula…ignore them. It’s what Biden generally does…

Kent Zimmerman

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Worldwide 4.7 billion Covid-19 vaccine doses have been administered. In the United States 164 million people, about half the country have been fully vaccinated. Last time I checked there haven’t been bodies of vaccinated people piling up on our streets. No reports of zombies either.

What we do have are overloaded hospitals and dying people begging to be vaccinated. It’s too late for them. I hope other unvaccinated folks come rapidly to their senses. It’s not worth dying just to own the libs.

George Laugelli

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I have my first show in 2 years (in Denver, in Nov)  and I will let fans know on twitter and instagram that people need to be vaccinated to attend, if they don’t like it they can stay home.

Tep No

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Subject: Canada Announces Vaccine Mandate for Air Travel

Jake Gold

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I am surd you saw this, interesting that negative tests will NOT be accepted. As you predicted the divide begins. Takes courage.

I remain skeptical re Lolla. I know two friends whose kids that brought delta home. Time will actually tell, the tracing takes time.

All hail Jason Isabell. Have principles, stick to them, ignore short term financial downside. Do what matters, not what’s easy. Be first, LEAD, stop following!!!

Thanks for sticking to your principals Bob. Keep fighting the battle. Ignorance is NOT bliss, might be truly perilous.

Best
Jonathan Pines

San Francisco will be first U.S. city to mandate full vaccination for many indoor activities – San Francisco Chronicle
https://apple.news/ASWCKjHt9QT6wUR1Br_kWmQ

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Wow Bob, that was a great piece. Thanks for that. I just came from the Phish show in Atlantic City. Maybe 5% of attendees wore masks. I didn’t. It was outside on the beach. But I felt more safe at my beloved neighborhood club Nowadays in Brooklyn, where vax cards are required for entry, with its packed indoor dancefloor, than I did amongst the sloppy Phish crowd (shocker), wondering if the sweaty dude whose arm rubbed up on me had just given me covid or not.

Starting at Phish’s next shows, vax cards and/or negative tests are required and will be for all future shows—agree with you, the tests we know are not super accurate, just make it vax only, unless you have a medical condition and can’t get it. So yes, it’s happening and it’s great to see. We are moving in the direction that will get us past this pandemic for good… eventually.

Derek Russo

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As usual, I enjoyed reading your comments. However, you failed to mention one significant problem with a vax card. There is no way to check if the card is legitimate or fake. From what I have read lately, the fake vax card business is booming. Someone is always trying to beat the system, even if it kills them.

Brooks Harrison

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They are Not enforcing the ‘Vax Card” or “PCR Test” at the larger venues.
If they do check its a glance at the handwritten Card or in NYS, the Excelsior Pass.
The venues have No capacity to verify that the card you present is in fact yours, as that would require checking Photo ID against the Vax/Test proof.
They ain’t doing that venues that fit 5K+ and its not going to happen.

What’s needed is a Nationwide, universal App that that all vaccinated Americans can show & have “Scanned” for verification.
Clear Secure is about the closest thing to what’s needed at all venues to ensure attendees are Vaxed at this point but its only at select venues.
The cards & the pass can all be copied, edited & distributed to others very easily.

Joe Naz

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I love your posts but in terms of this vaccine stuff u r very naive.
I play 5 nights a week and everyone who attends local bars is mostly under 40 years old and brag about their FAKE vaccine
cards!
Just go to googe. Look it up.
People who attend these concerts u mention are way younger than us and wok the computers to their advantage with whimsy!

Kenn Kweder

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Subject: Foreigner asking fans to wear masks

Thought this may interest you. It’s something but they should just require masks. This is pussy footin around and scared they might upset a couple people. Ugh

Kevin Thomas

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Just yesterday I was talking to a lady boomer who enjoys going to secret techno parties. I asked her the reason for not being vaccinated, although, as she said she’ s never declined a flu shot. She replied “I don’t know what’s in there, it’s not fully authorized, I don’t trust them, it’s all about the money”. I asked her if she really knows what’s in there, in the food/water she consumes. If everytime she goes to the supermarket she pays any attention to the battling deception on food labeling. I asked if there are different scientists when it comes to trusting the flu shot. Without thinking about it she replied “well you know what?..they can’t force me, I’m free”..  she said.. while holding her new “it’s all about the money” iphone that, I suppose, equals “freedom”.

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AMEN!
And spot on.
And some of the best advice and best practices we could use to actually CHANGE bad behavior.
“Ignore and enjoy!” My new motto derived from this!
Thank you Bob!
Hope Harris

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Bob – you’re totally missing the point – you can’t possibly preach and/or move the needle on dumb and obnoxious.

I wholeheartedly agree with your perspective….however, your country is dealing with a group of fucking morons that will never understand (let alone, agree) with rational thought.

Amerika, I’m afraid, is completely FUCKED.

As a Canadian, I used to look up to your country.

It has now, sadly, become the laughing stock of the universe.

We have our share of conspiracy theorists and anti-vaxers, but the US is so divided that it’s beyond saving – a sad, dumpster fire of epic proportions.

Good luck. God help Amerika.

Doug Collitz

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Can you imagine if people put as much passion and concern into taking this vaccine to stay safe then they did with what is dumped and pumped into our food, water and air supply every single day?

Worrying about what long term effects about what this vaccine, which anyone who is anyone Dem or GOP included, pales in comparison as to what we ingest every single day. Between plastics, GMO’s, steroids, anti-biotics, toxins, chemicals, artificial flavors, colors and fillers worrying about a vaccine that is known for protecting us and saving lives makes anti-vaxxers argument against it moot point. This does not include what the anti-vaxxers probably have in their medicine cabinets at home. I could just imagine between the prescription drugs and anything else they are taking to cope in todays world also pales in comparison.

I also like to point out once again, talking about their rights and freedoms is only possible due to the sacrifices of all those people in the military over all the wars that have been fought to ensure and protect those freedoms . To simply ask your fellow citizens to get a shot and wear a mask to protect oneself and one another pale in comparison to those who gave their lives and sacrificed so much for the good of all others. I also find it insulting that people who refuse to get their shot or wear a mask invoke their individual rights and freedoms. To me, that is like spitting on the graves of those who gave their lives for those rights and freedoms for all of us.

Mike DJ

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Hi Bob , I’m guessing it would be fairly easy to make a fake vaccination passport . The unvaccinated will find ways to go to concerts or anywhere else for that matter . I imagine it would be harder to get on an airline or cruise ship because they’d scrutinize passports . However for concerts or restaurants?  Forget about it . BZ

John Kieselhorst

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Covid has changed so much about the youth culture and the changes aren’t over.

The oldster anti vaxxers may have seen a few of their age peers die off, but the youth in countries outside the USA, as well as some counties in the USA will be ravaged for months to come.

Oldsters expect to die, but the gallant emotions of youth don’t see death coming. Covid will change that.

Electronic distribution of music will escalate beyond the current rates. Music will find a way…

Live shows without masks or vaccine proof will be a special blessing assuming you’ll be able to afford it.

Will Eggleston

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I was working at a dot-com running their music department when Napster hit.  A competitor of sorts to Amazon (we lost spectacularly).  But we had a T-1 connection and could download a song in about 15 seconds.  The database manager gave a couple of us a drive to download into.  It was freaking heaven!!  To this day, there is still no better music discovery vehicle than searching a great song or artist and peering into a person’s complete library.  Sorry, paid curators and algorithms will never had the authenticity of a fanatic.

Glad the promoters are taking the lead, but I don’t have much faith.  Fake vaccination cards are too easy to come by, and what incentive does a security guard checking have to spot a fake?

AEG and Live Nation (or someone enterprising) should have been working for the last 18 months on software where a patron had to authorize their health care provider to confirm their vaccination at their request or something like that.  Could have been an add-on to LN’s verified fan program and they could have used it to build that database 100X.

I hope those two find a solution and offer it to small clubs not in their control as well.

We need music, but even more we need trust that these events are safe for everyone.

Blaine Kaplan

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The TSA should jump in too. Want to fly? Present your vax card along with drivers license at the security check. It won’t even add much time to the security check.

And if you want to keep yourself on TSA Pre-check? Set things up so that vaxxed people can prove their status to the TSA and have it added to their Pre-check records. Simple.

And this would avoid any issue of having gate agents or other airline people having to do enforcement.

Jonathan Bernstein

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Excellent analogy, Bob.  The stick isn’t going to work and is politically problematic.  Let’s hope this carrot does the job.  Disruption always finds it’s way through.

Eric M. Griffin
Assistant Director
Colorado State Universtiy
Music Business Program

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Granted it’s a small percentage of the ticket buying public, but these rules currently make it very difficult to have shows for children under 12, or for those of us with kids under 12 to attend concerts with our kids (very few clinics will give a child with no symptoms a rapid COVID test and even then who knows if insurance will cover it). We’re ready for the vaccinations to be available to all.

Stu Walker

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Better than needing to be vaxxed to attend the show… make ticket purchasers show proof of vaccination to be able to even buy a ticket.

Dave Wood

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“We are living through a revolt against the future. The future will prevail.” — Anand Giridharadas

Joel Zoss

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“This is how you solve the problem, not by addressing the past, but the future.”

Love this!

I will be requiring them at my upcoming shows as well.

Onward we go!

Jennifer Nettles

It’s just like Napster.

Music was the canary in the coal mine for digital disruption and now it’s the canary in the coal mine for vaccination requirements. In both examples it’s about demand, people want their music and their shows.

So Napster was facilitated by two things, high speed connections and the small size of music files. It was only the young and savvy who had high speed connections, at their colleges, broadband wasn’t even available in most homes. And MP3s were only a megabyte a minute. So…you could download them quickly. And there was a technological breakthrough, Napster itself, using a new technology, peer to peer, i.e. P2P, and the Luddites, the institutions, the elders, at first ignored it, then questioned why anyone would need it and then tried to shut it down, unsuccessfully.

You can’t stop the future. Impossible. Your best strategy is always to get in front of the public and have people come to you. Which is why Spotify was so successful. It was beyond what people understood and thought they desired. They no longer had to download files, with copy protection from the iTunes Store, or illegally from lockers, there was no issue of viruses. It was instant. And the cost was de minimis. The iTunes Store was just a way for people who weren’t stealing to pay for music. The P2P acolytes continued to employ unauthorized technological strategies to get their music. But Spotify solved all these problems, you could get everything you wanted for one low price, it was easy, and desirable.

Of course even at this late date you’ve got anti-Spotify people, although almost all of them are baby boomers, behind the times. They’re laden with disinformation, believing you have to have signal to hear your music, which is patently untrue, you can sync thousands of songs to your device. Or they talk about the songs that are unavailable. And that is true, there are some cracks in the firmament. Then again, investigate the building you’re now occupying, if you can’t find imperfections, you’re blind. Nothing is perfect. It’s all about good enough. Which gets better. And then kills the old paradigm. That’s straight out of Clayton Christensen’s “The Innovator’s Dilemma,” not that you’d expect a Luddite to read it.

So right now people want to go to shows. They were gone during lockdown and are back up today. But there’s this issue of Covid-19 transmission. And the truth is you can’t have unvaxxed, unmasked shows, it’s a recipe for disaster. So what you’ve got is two sets of people, the advanced and the behind, and like I said above, you always want to bet on the advanced, the future.

The advanced know the score. They’re hoovering up information 24/7, and they’re not afraid of change. They’re unafraid of vaccines the same way they were unafraid of viruses back in the P2P era. They were savvy, they knew what to download and open and what not to. As for those who were afraid, they never downloaded anything anyway, too scared of a potential flaw to even deal with it. Never mind the Luddites not having broadband connections and not knowing how to use any software other than AOL. Download a new program to their computer, figure out how to use it with no instructions? Kids were used to this from video games, oldsters were still afraid of their devices, never mind not knowing how they worked or how to fix them.

So you’ve got a huge swath of the population that has gotten vaccinated because they’re up to speed on the future. And they want to go to shows. The scaredy-cats who are afraid of their own shadows, who’d rather die than be inoculated, want to go to shows too. But they’re not gonna be able to. It’s sweeping the nation, vaccine requirements to attend concerts.

The future and the past only coexist for a very brief window. P2P killed CDs and Spotify killed the iTunes Store. So the concert business opened and everybody could get in and then for a few shows you needed either a vax card or a negative test and now you need a vax card or a negative test at most shows and soon only a vax card will suffice. We’re in the middle of the transition, and it’s happening fast. And if you base your business model on the afraid, stuck in the past, you’re screwed. He not busy being born is busy dying. Do you still use your old Packard Bell? Do you even use an iPod? Do you even use a six year old iPhone? The computer companies stop issuing software updates. And eventually, everybody buys a new device, which is superior, that they love, they don’t bitch about price or planned obsolescence, they’re happy. And, once again, there will still be people who will bitch. Michael Eisner said ten percent of the public will never pay and to FORGET THEM!

So, you need to be vaxxed to go to the show.

You don’t need to go to the show, but if you want to…

You didn’t need to download Napster. You didn’t need to buy an iPod. But ultimately there was a mania, everybody wanted to be involved. Never underestimate the desire of the public to be hip, to be included.

So, once we make each and every concert/show vax only, people will start getting vaccinated.

And like I said, music is the canary in the coal mine. Other enterprises will start requiring vax cards. Not only offices, but businesses, even grocery stores. This is how you solve the problem, not by addressing the past, but the future. Not by catering to those unwilling to change, but those who are!

The music industry was bitching about Napster. And what did all those college downloaders have to say? NOTHING! They just went on using P2P, ignoring the ancient behemoth that refused to see the writing on the wall.

Just like the concert business should require vaccinations and forget completely about those who want to come who aren’t vaxxed. Don’t even address the issue, you can’t win. It’s not like the music industry was compromising. It proved Napster was copyright infringement and thought it had won. It then could have authorized the future, licensed Napster, but the industry felt there would be a return to baseline. Wrong! Then we got KaZaA, which circumvented the flaw in Napster, the central database. It became an endless game of Whac-A-Mole until Spotify. Meanwhile, the music industry suffered, and once Spotify was licensed, recorded music revenues went back up, significantly, as did the value of the labels themselves!

That’s what happens when you embrace the future.

Never underestimate the power of music. People want to go to the show. And if their friends are going and they can’t, they’ll get vaccinated. When their favorite acts won’t play the state, they’ll get vaccinated and lobby the government for change.

Music is the carrot. People employ their own sticks.

It’s not about being nice to the unvaxxed, figuring out how to talk to them, rather you ignore them completely, like the students using Napster at the turn of the century. They didn’t have time to waste on those who didn’t get it.

And confront the obvious. During the battle twenty years ago labels would have focus groups, do studies, asking irrelevant questions like what kids thought an album was worth. It was irrelevant! One, people were never honest in their responses, two, music was now free and it was incumbent on the labels to own this and authorize new ways to monetize it that squared with the age.

As for those complaining about the quality of MP3s and streaming music… Now Apple and Amazon both stream lossless. If you have the right equipment, you can listen in better than CD quality! Those silver discs you keep revering, throw them away. As for your files… Try opening Microsoft Word 1.0 on a computer today, even the files are gibberish. Do you really think an ancient technology like MP3 is forever? Don’t make me laugh.

The future’s so bright you’ve got to wear shades, assuming you’re talking about the future and ignoring the past.

You’d be stunned who wants to see music. Make it so they can’t and they’ll be pissed and complain, but you’re not listening, because there is an option, they can get vaccinated, and they will, especially as the number of places they can go to without being vaxxed continues to dwindle.

Yes, first it was music. Then everything was digitized. Movies… Hell, people bitched that Netflix was going to streaming, but then when they tried it they didn’t want to bother with discs anymore. Furthermore, people got high speed connections just to download music and stream movies! Come on, who do you know who is on dialup today?

This is a glass half-full situation. It’s just a matter of perspective.

All venues and promoters, and they’ve got all the power, because you need a place to play and an entity to pay, should instantly require a vaccination for attendance. Right away! Stop debating this in the news, you’re not gonna convince the Luddites, we saw this movie twenty years ago, people were only enlightened when they used the new technologies, before they were afraid, thought they were the end of the world, and after employing them they couldn’t stop testifying about how great they were!

As for the theoretical negative effects of the vaccine… As more people get them and there are no deleterious effects, more of the rest of the Luddites will dive in.

This is not a hard problem to solve. It starts with music. And it starts with looking forward and ignoring the past, latching on to a better way and amplifying it.

Ladies and gentlemen…START YOUR ENGINES!

https://www.benjerry.com/flavors/americone-dream-ice-cream

I couldn’t stop eating it.

I know Ben & Jerry’s is caught up in a political kerfuffle, I know Ben & Jerry don’t run the company anymore, that actually it’s part of Unilever, which squeezed Ben & Jerry to sell just like Amazon did to diapers.com, but that does not mean I’ve stopped eating the ice cream.

Ice cream… There was always plenty in our household. And it was not the three-flavored Neapolitan. You’d go to someone’s house and they’d serve you vanilla, if they had anything at all, and all I can say is UGH!

Then again, I’ve come to treasure vanilla. Once I had the super premium version of it. The breakthrough came in the the mid-seventies, with the arrival of Häagen-Dazs, which opened a dip shop on Barrington Avenue in Brentwood that we went to seemingly every night. I remember that summer walking in the fading sunlight and heat the three blocks back to the apartment eating chocolate chocolate chip and smiling, those were the good old days. When super-premium ice cream exploded.

Of course there was Frusen Glädjé, available in stores just like HD but in slightly better plastic packaging, but the king became Robin Rose, in Venice, they had RASPBERRY CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM! Now that was a treat. But then frozen yogurt came along and killed the whole paradigm, never mind that frozen yogurt is not the diet dessert it was billed as, never mind that no frozen yogurt can compare to ice cream. There’s this place on Olympic, at the intersection of Westwood Boulevard, named the Bigg Chill, that serves the best frozen yogurt I’ve ever had, and unlike most frozen yogurt shops it still exists, but it’s still not ice cream.

So my father found locations for Friendly’s. You’ve got to know in the sixties, Friendly’s was considered not only upscale ice cream, but an upscale hamburger place. They had the Big Beef, which was a thick hamburger long before the Mickey D’s Quarter Pounder that was stuck between two pieces of toast as opposed to a bun, and the meat even oozed blood, back before people thought that burger meat was naturally gray, and it was SCRUMPTIOUS! And of course there was the Fribble. Previously called the Awful Awful, as in Awful big and Awful good, they had to change the name when sued by its originator but in any event, it was the best milkshake you could buy, it was thick, it had a lot of ICE CREAM! But this was before Friendly’s was sold so many times as to ultimately become a joke and nearly disappear.

So my father would bring home half-gallons. He’d go to HQ in Wilbraham, Mass., or be at a store, and he’d come home with three or four. Never ever vanilla, my absolute favorite was chocolate marshmallow, and then there was toasted almond fudge. We never ran out, and you could have as much as you wanted. Kids would come over and it would blow their minds. We’d get big bowls and load them up. There were rarely toppings, the ice cream stood on its own.

Not that my father was only loyal to Friendly’s, he loved, loved, LOVED Carvel. He’d take us to downtown Fairfield on a hot night and we’d get it, and also during the winter. Dairy Queen would close during the winter, but not Carvel! At least I don’t remember it so. Then again, I was so high on sugar who knows!

In the seventies, Baskin-Robbins appeared. And despite its ugly color scheme of pink, brown and white, which I just found out represented cherries, hot fudge and whipped cream, their ice cream was quite good. And they pushed the envelope of the Friendly’s paradigm, the flavors had many elements, they were outrageous. And some you had to get right away, because they’d go on vacation, others would always be available, thank god.

But then BR was superseded by HD, which was then superseded by Ben & Jerry’s.

Ben & Jerry’s was…Ben & Jerry. Two Jewish dudes who couldn’t do anything else who learned to make ice cream via a correspondence course and then opened a dip shop in Burlington, Vermont which then expanded into an empire. The factory is still in Waterbury, on the way to Stowe, and it’s one of Vermont’s top tourist sites. I remember going there in the eighties when they lowered a bucket down to the factory floor and brought up some not quite frozen butter pecan and I’ve loved it ever since, whereas I never wasted my bites on the flavor before.

So, the breakthrough Ben & Jerry’s flavor was Cherry Garcia. And it’s okay, but far from my favorite. I prefer Phish Food, which is now my number one even though for a while there I was hooked on Chunky Monkey. Phish Food, first and foremost, is CHOCOLATE ice cream, the king of flavors, nothing else comes close. And then there’s that treasured marshmallow. As for the caramel, I used to say I could take or leave it, but it’s grown on me, I’ve always loved hot fudge more than caramel, and still do. But the piece-de-resistance is the chocolate fish. Every bite of Phish Food is an adventure.

And even though Felice got hooked on Pistachio Nut, which is simple yet delectable, she started buying Phish Food again and I couldn’t resist. I try to resist, I’m trying to live beyond tomorrow, but sometimes I just can’t hold back.

Like tonight.

I didn’t need it, but I wanted it. I DESERVED IT! I’m still quarantined, I found out this week I still have no B-cells, and I’m home alone in the house when everybody else is at the beach so I opened the freezer to find…AMERICONE DREAM? Huh? Why did Felice buy that?

Oh, there was a tiny bit of Phish Food left, and ultimately I ate some of that, left a chunk for Felice, but first I broke off the plastic seal and dove into Americone Dream.

Stephen Colbert’s picture was on the outside. Why? I couldn’t see a direct connection between the comedian and an ice cream flavor. And then I read the description…”Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge-Covered Waffle Cone Pieces and a Caramel Swirl.”

Sounded kind of boring to me. I mean I dig the caramel now, but that’s just an added flavor, almost the equivalent of MSG. And vanilla? Well, new vanilla is better than old vanilla, but I still wasn’t excited. As for the fudge-covered waffle cone pieces? Yada, yada, who cares.

Waffle cones. Were unknown as a kid. Sugar cones were thick and crunchy, but we preferred the foam rubber Dairy Queen ones. And as I aged I understood sugar cones, but for me it’s really about the ice cream, when super-premium came in, just serving it in a cup was good enough.

But then came the high-end waffle cones. The ones baked in the shop. Sometimes covered in chocolate. You didn’t even need any ice cream to enjoy them. Then again, were they made fresh or had they been sitting around? The fresh ones always killed. The pre-made ones? Too firm, nothing exciting. Like I said, I’m a cup man.

But I dipped my spoon into the pint, which appeared almost all white except for some brown land mines, and I raised my spoon to my lips and partook…WOW! You see those mini-crunchy waffle cone pieces had exactly the right firmness, they didn’t immediately squash and crumble like the foam rubber of Dairy Queen cones, yet despite being encased in pre-frozen ice cream, they were not rock hard, they had a crunch, but there was no risk to your teeth.

And then there was that caramel…

Well, I decided I’d only work my way around the top, leave most of the pint for Felice, who’d ordered it after all. But another key to super-premium ice cream is what Häagen-Dazs refers to as the “bouquet.” The truth is you’re not supposed to eat super-premium right out of the freezer, you’re supposed to let it soften, in order to have the flavors released. And this is true! But oftentimes I can’t wait. But as one eats, the edges of the pint start to soften and you can’t let those go, you’ve got to scoop them up with your spoon, to refreeze them would be a crime.

Of course I could put the pint in the microwave. My father was the first person I saw do this. He’d be in the kitchen, standing in front of the microwave constantly cooking up the ice cream five or ten seconds at a time, to get the right softness, to release the flavor. And I’ve tried this, but I can never get the timing right, it’s easy to turn the ice cream into soup, not that I won’t drink ice cream soup.

And after eating the corners…well, I couldn’t stop there. I needed another hit of that fudge-encased waffle cone.

And then I was on a high. You know the feeling, when you feel so damn good you don’t care what the consequences are. Orgasm passes briefly, and even though it’s the peak human experience, others not quite as good can last longer, like eating ice cream.

And I’m sitting at the kitchen table, looking out at the darkening sky, thinking how the summer is fading and I’ve missed it, and I keep spooning up Americone Dream and all is right in the world. I don’t care if someone is vaccinated or not, I don’t care about 1/6, it’s all about me and the environment, I’m in harmony with nature.

Well, at least in harmony with Americone Dream.

How did this happen? Who knew such excitement and satisfaction was contained in this pint I was pooh-poohing? How’d they manage to keep the cone part fresh? And since it’s Ben & Jerry’s, it’s not like Cracker Jack, there isn’t only one prize, the mix-ins are big and plentiful, you get something with almost every bite, it’s so SATISFYING!

Eating Americone Dream was the best thing I did all day. IT WAS WORTH IT!