Do not buy an iPhone 15.

But you might want to buy an iPhone 15 Pro or Pro Max.

The war is over. Apple won. It vanquished Android.

HUH? That can’t be right, wasn’t Android supposed to kill the iPhone, wasn’t it only a matter of years before the overpriced Apple product was marginalized, a niche, only for the elite? Yes, that’s what you’d think, but it turned out all the prognosticators, all the bloviators, were wrong.

It’s in the data.

Five years ago, the iPhone had 18% of the U.S. market. Today it has 55%. There are two reasons, iMessage and longevity of functionality/resale value.

You don’t want to be the owner of a green bubble. Oh, oldsters may not care, but if you’re a youngster it’s a cultural faux pas that will immediately have you losing status at the high school. You must have a blue bubble, your life depends upon it.

And then there’s the resale value. iPhones hold it, Androids do not. An iPhone typically has three owners, an Android leaves the store and loses a ton of value and goes down to near zero nearly overnight. Apple supports old iPhones, good look with your couple of year old Android.

And it’s not only the U.S. In South Korea, 52% of those 18-29 use an iPhone.

We don’t need to debate functionality, we don’t need to talk about the Apple haters. It’s an incredible story, unforeseen. A premium-priced product dominates, Apple is about to eclipse the sales of the number one Android provider, Samsung.

So which one should you buy?

Well, you don’t want the iPhone 15 because it’s essentially the iPhone 14 Pro. It has last year’s chip, the A16 Bionic, and it only has two camera lenses instead of three. If you’re worried about status, this is important (but in truth, phones are fungible and nearly indistinguishable when it comes to cosmetics today).

No, you want an iPhone 15 Pro. It’s got the new chip, the A17 Bionic, and better cameras and a titanium case, which you don’t care about in theory, but in truth it means the phone is lighter, and that’s important, the iPhone has gotten far too heavy in its recent iterations.

But Bob, I can save $200 by buying the iPhone 15 instead of the 15 Pro, money means something to me!

But that is shortsighted.

First and foremost, it’s not really $200, it’s $100, because the cheapest iPhone 15 has 128GB of storage and the Pro has 256GB, and with everybody shooting so many photos, you don’t want to run out of space.

But the truth is these phones have a lifespan, and by buying last year’s model, which the iPhone 15 essentially is, you’re losing a year of functionality, you’re going to have to replace it a year earlier, so why not lay out the extra money to live large now, knowing that it will be a wash when it comes to trade-in time?

As for whether you should get a new iPhone…

If you have an 8 or a X, definitely. iOS17 will not work on these devices. Apple says it will continue to support them with security updates, which is crucial, but that won’t be forever, and then you’ll need a new phone in a year or two, which might be even more expensive, why not live large now, why not live in the present now? Sans iOS17 you’re going to lose functionality. You think your phone is good enough, but then you’ll want to do something and you won’t be able to, because of compatibility issues. You do not live in a vacuum, in the pre-internet era, we are all connected, and you want to be able to connect fully. Upgrade.

Do you need an iPhone 15 Pro if you have a 14 or 13? No, unless you want one. Used to be you got a new iPhone and were wowed by the speed, the new chip made a huge difference. Those days are gone, the improvements are incremental. Stay with what you’ve got, wait another year or two.

But what if your old iPhone is running out of juice too fast?

These batteries start to fade. Within a year even. If your iPhone is fine, but there’s an issue with battery life, just buy a new battery and it will be like new, you can get out the door for under a hundred bucks, either at the Apple Store or at a third-party provider. Your phone won’t run any faster, but it will continue to run.

So which Pro model should you buy?

First and foremost, the Pro Max has a longer battery life, and that might be significant to you.

However, the Pro Max is much larger, it doesn’t fit in your hand as easily. I like the larger phone, I love the extra screen real estate. But if it’s uncomfortable in your hand, you might want to go for the smaller option. Don’t make the decision to go small on a whim, go to the Apple Store and hold both devices, you’ll know.

Now it used to be the Pro and Pro Max iterations had different cameras. But then they had the same cameras, but now they have different cameras again. The Pro Max has a better telephoto… If you’re a casual shooter, ultimately it’s not that important, nice, but not necessary. Bottom line, if you need a Pro Max for the camera you already know. As for the photos themselves, for the last few years the Pro versions of the iPhone have created spectacular images. Throw away your point and shoot, the iPhone takes a much better picture.

Also, keep in mind the modern phones squeeze more pixels, more screen real estate, into the glass, borders are smaller. So a small phone, the iPhone 15 Pro, might be enough, but if you’re spending that much, why not go for the best?

Buy a bumper, a case. And I’m going to be a heretic and say buy an Apple case. They’re much more expensive, but far superior. Every year I get the silicone case for fifty bucks and not once have I ever damaged my phone, not once! And believe me, I’ve dropped it on pavement… Lay down, your phone won’t break. As for screen protectors, what a joke. The glass is incredibly sturdy, adding a screen protector just decreases functionality.

As for where you should buy your new iPhone…

If you are switching carriers, you’re in luck, the offers are stupendous the market is saturated and it’s hard for the three major providers, Verizon, AT&T and T-Mobile, to get new customers. And as a result of this, they want to entice you to stay. But beware! The devil is in the details. They might say the phone is free, but really it’s not, those days of free phones are in the deep past. You’ll have to commit for 30 months to a plan that might be more expensive than the one you’ve got now. The iPhone might look free, but the cost is just baked-in to the aforementioned 30 payments.

However, having said that, the three major providers give you a few more bucks in trade than Apple. But don’t be wowed by the huge numbers, $800 for your old iPhone. In truth, that’s for last year’s top of the line, maxed out. Chances are your phone will be worth less than a hundred bucks, but it’s worth something, and money is money.

But Apple is such a better buying experience. If you need to talk with someone they are knowledgeable, and there are no tricks and the company is not out to screw you. (If you want to cancel AppleTV+, you just slide a button in the settings of your phone. If only the rest of the streamers were so easy.)

I could talk about locked and unlocked, but really you don’t need to know, it’s irrelevant to almost everybody, and if it’s important to you you’re already fully-versed in the details.

As for USB-C… Never has so much ink been spread about something so trivial. Macs have been USB-C since 2016. Sure, you’ll have to toss your Lightning cables, but a new USB-C cable comes in the box anyway. As for the brick…

Apple stopped providing them in the box years ago. Furthermore, you probably have one of those old tiny square charging bricks anyway, you want the newer, more powerful rectangular one. You might even have one from your last iPhone purchase, I certainly do. And the important thing here is… The connector is already USB-C! So you don’t need a new brick. But if you’re starting from scratch, time to upgrade your brick anyway.

As for the cable… DON’T CHEAP OUT! Don’t buy the gas station cheapie, don’t save bucks here. You don’t have to buy an overpriced Apple cable, but if you go for something cheaper, choose an Anker, or another established brand. You see all USB-C cords might look the same, but they are not, there are chips in the Apple cord, making sure you get just the right amount of juice to your iPhone, so it doesn’t burn up.

And one more thing, warranty…

The Amex Platinum card will cover you, but only up to $800. That’s gonna hurt if you lose your iPhone 15 Pro Max. Even worse, you might be getting a discount from your provider for going paperless. Usually if you use your Amex Platinum card, you lose the discount.

If you’re worried about loss and theft, buy AppleCare+ with Theft and Loss. Oh, it makes no sense financially, but it gives you complete peace of mind, if that means anything to you. I’ve never lost a phone, never even broken one, but with this coverage I don’t worry about it. I’ll shoot in the rain, take my phone out on a cliff, while in a boat, knowing I’m covered. And Apple will get you a new phone almost instantly, without having to jump through too many hoops. You can buy coverage from your provider, and it’s usually cheaper, but not as comprehensive, and more difficult to collect. You can choose.

As for phone support… Most people won’t need it, and Google can answer most of your questions, but it is good to know you can call, frequently about integration with your other Apple devices, and get an answer, that’s what AppleCare provides.

As to your other devices… Really, if you have an iPhone, you should go Mac. Now if you’ve got to use a PC for business, I understand it. If you’re used to a PC and loath to switch, it’s really not difficult, and the Apple Store will walk you through the process, teach you for free.

And it used to be that Macs were overpriced. But if money is your issue, you can now buy a MacBook Air for a grand. As for the extra money, your Mac will last longer in utility, and the difference will be a wash.

As for which MacBook Air to buy…

Well, let’s start by saying only buy a MacBook Air if you’re going to transport it, move it around, because it’s inherently hobbled, otherwise go for a MacBook Pro, the 13″ starts at $1299 and is more powerful and will last longer than the Air.

But if totability is key… You can get an Air… I’m always into the most screen real estate possible. So that would augur for a MacBook Air 15″, but if you’re buying an Air for portability, do you really want a bigger device?

As for chips and speed and storage… As long as it’s an M chip, they’re all good, they’re all fast, but the newer and more powerful the better. And the devices now come with enough RAM, which was not the case previously. Well, except for the 13″ Air, which like I said above, is inherently hobbled. It comes with 8GB of RAM, I’d bump it to 16, and only 256 GB of storage, and you need at least 512… As for storage, it’s not like the old days, with so much living in the cloud, the only thing that eats up a lot of storage space is photos, but they can eat up a lot of space. And if you’re making movies…buy more storage, and you might even need an external device too.

All the MacBooks are of recent vintage, I wouldn’t hesitate to buy any of them now.

As for the iMac… Absolutely do not buy one now. They’re going to introduce a new, updated model imminently. Wait.

As for a 27″ iMac… There have been some rumors that it will reappear, but don’t hold your breath, if you want 27″ of screen real estate, and believe me, it makes a difference, opt for a Mac Studio. You do not need the M2 Ultra…or let me say if you do, you know. The M2 Ultra doesn’t even make a difference with most everyday tasks. It only adds speed with a few high-tech applications, mostly video. So save $2000.

So you’re in for $1999. You can buy the basic Mac Studio, although I’d bump up storage, probably even the M2 Max chip and I’d go for 64GB of RAM, but it’s not necessary.

But then comes the problem, the screen. The Apple Studio Display, for $1599, is long in the tooth and was behind the times when it was launched eighteen months ago. Don’t buy it, it’s a rip-off. Apple needs a new Studio Display, when will it come? No one is sure, everybody hopes soon, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. However, Samsung just introduced a new 5k screen for the same price that is thoroughly up-to-date. Sure, you’ll lose a little bit of functionality, integration with the Mac Studio, but you’ll get a much better display. As for the speakers in the Apple Studio Display… I mean if you’re listening to audio via your display, why are you buying a Mac Studio to begin with? A waste of money.

Now what Apple is selling is an ecosystem, everything works together, seamlessly, with added productivity. And if there is a problem, you can get answers, you won’t hear that someone else made the device and there’s nothing they can do.

But it all starts with the iPhone. The iPhone is the most important device you own. Period. Ignore all the screeds about being on the phone too long, the phone is your right hand, you can’t live without it, you need to call up an Uber, order food, connect with friends, research, it’s an amazing piece of kit. You want a great phone, don’t chintz. Furthermore, a great phone will give you more functionality. There is so much power in the iPhone, more than you can ever use. Your friends will give you some tips, like with AirDrop, but the better the phone the more you can do with it and the faster you can do it.

You need a new iPhone, it’s just a matter of when.

And don’t get emotional about it, don’t talk about planned obsolescence, don’t talk about the Apple premium, don’t go on an anti-tech rant, because then you’ll just look ignorant, the joke will be on you.

You’ll want a new iPhone, it’s just a matter of when.

And when you get one, be sure to go for the Pro, otherwise you’re being blind to the math and losing functionality in the process. And believe me, you want that functionality, don’t hobble yourself. Think about all that power in the palm of your hand for so little money, it’s incredible. Oh, the places you will go, and what you will see… A great smartphone enriches your life, and you want an iPhone. Period.

Tune in Saturday September 16th to Faction Talk, channel 103, at 4 PM East, 1 PM West.

Phone #: 844-686-5863

Twitter: @lefsetz

If you miss the episode, you can hear it on demand on the SiriusXM app. Search: Lefsetz

Every rich person needs to go. Not to one in the tony suburbs, but the inner city, where all classes meet.

That’s one of the main problems in America today, the classes don’t interact, therefore the wealthy have no idea of the life of those working with their hands, counting pennies. You don’t have to be poor to go to Costco, but the richer you are, the less chance you’re there.

Kind of like gas prices. It’s over six bucks in L.A. I paid just under last night at the Shell on Van Nuys Boulevard, which is always the cheapest brand name outlet in the area, and my car gets terrible gas mileage, but at least it’s paid for. And it is a car, not an SUV. And when I’m driving I’m surrounded by these monstrosities, forget the RAV4 and CRVs, there are giant Suburbans, and Navigators, and BMW X7s and Audi Q8s and Land Cruisers and G-Wagons, all brand new, how do people pay for the gas, never mind the lease payments?

But they don’t matter to many. Of course there are those strutting their stuff, putting up a false face, but in truth most of the people driving these boxes on wheels can afford the gas, they don’t even think about it, the biggest headache is going to the gas station to fill them up!

So I had to get my tires rotated. I bought ’em at Pep Boys… Bottom line, tire places are now fungible, they all charge almost the same price. If you’re buying your tires online at the Tire Rack, you just haven’t investigated your local shops fully. And Pep Boys is disorganized and untogether, but the work gets done. And the tires fall apart and get replaced under warranty.

Yes, I buy top of the line Michelins, Pilot Sports, and they’re warranted for 40,000 miles, but once you hit 20,000 you’re taking your life in your hands, for they’re nearly bald. And my car wears tires out on the inside, don’t ask me why, it’s a feature, not a bug. So in order to maintain the warranty, I get them rotated regularly. Also, to balance the inner tire wear. And I bought lifetime alignment, so I get that done too. Although it took them a hell of a long time to find that in the computer today.

The guy who waited on me was of Eastern European heritage. And I’m wondering if this is a good job for him. Not speaking the language perfectly when he came here, being unskilled. But how much money could he make? And I’m standing there staring at him while he wrestles with the computer, and I see that he’s actually kind of cute. Maybe he’s a ladies man. But is he living for the outside, is the job just for money? I’ve had those jobs, they’re intolerable, you’re constantly watching the clock, counting down the hours and adding up the dollars in your wallet.

So Hasek tells me it’s going to take two hours, and that’s too long to wait, but Felice is on the phone, so I amble across the parking lot to Costco.

This is Van Nuys. Which I only knew from the bottle of shampoo my mother purchased. I’d study it taking a bath. Van Nuys, California…hmm, sounds exotic. It’s not.

Now theoretically you’ve got to be a member to go into Costco, but I am not. But I do buy from Costco, via Instacart, but that was during Covid, should I purchase a membership?

Oh, I’ve been to Costco a number of times. It’s not like I’m completely inexperienced. And sure, I wanted to check prices, but even more I wanted to wander around and look at the merchandise. It’s kind of like going to the stereo store in the seventies, it’s overwhelming, yet intriguing.

They were selling top of the line LG OLEDs. The price didn’t seem that good, and I just checked it, you can actually get the TV for $150 less on Amazon, Costco is not always cheaper. But I was overwhelmed by the size of new TVs. 77″ is now the standard, 85″ is available. And if you’re willing to forgo the latest picture technology, you can buy a giant TV for a reasonable price. It’s like Tower Records in the old days, they’re stacked up, just waiting for you to carry one home.

And I’m looking for the Vitamin Water I buy online and I encounter the free samples. I always feel guilty eating these, because usually I have no intention of buying the product, but they don’t really seem to mind at Costco. I’ve already forgotten what I first sampled, because at the next stand they were giving away Hostess cupcakes, you know, with the circles on top, the real thing. These were exotic back in the day. And delicious, I always preferred the cupcakes to the snowballs. And I really shouldn’t be eating it, but I had to have a bite before I tossed the rest.

And the prices for the food… The shrimp, they were giving it away. And the thing about Costco is all the food is good. I’d trust Costco food before Ralphs’s. And I’m starting to ponder buying a membership.

And then I’m debating the time. I love a casual visit to Costco, but what if I had to go regularly? I mean the line to check out… There were many registers open, but they all had lines, and nobody was buying just one or two items.

And then I wandered into the drug/supplement line. The deals were amazing. About sixty cents on the dollar compared to Amazon. And it’s cognitive dissonance, I’m blowing thousands in one shot on dentistry and I’m saving dollars on household products? I mean we all want to save money, but is it worth it? I mean is the time worth it. Or should you have it all delivered for a bit more. And you’re saving gas money and helping the environment. But my radar is off. I won’t pay for business class on a short flight, but when does it pay to splurge? I mean you can save pennies here and then blow thousands there.

And Felice was on a phone call and couldn’t yet pick me up, so I decided to have a hot dog. But I didn’t know the new system. You don’t pay at the window, you pay in advance. You click on a picture of what you want on a screen, run your credit card, get a slip and cash it in. But my credit card wouldn’t work. I’ve got a free Amex platinum card, and to make it look distinguished, they fabricate it out of metal. But it doesn’t work in parking meters, and it wouldn’t work at Costco. Was there a secret handshake, did the computer know I was not a member? I stepped back after three false tries and saw a picture of the plastic you could use and I whipped out my debit card and bought a hot dog and a drink for a buck fifty.

And then I got in line. The guy in front of me was allowing too large a space because he was watching a TV program on his phone. But could I blame him? He was making the most of his time, and no one was cutting ahead of him to boot.

And having eliminated payment, the people behind the glass, the worker bees, are just focused on fulfillment. Old people, who should have earned the right to retire. If you’re working with your hands, standing on your feet, you’re entitled to lay back at some point, ride out the rest of your years on the couch, but too many can’t afford it. I’m watching the system, it’s fascinating. The food becomes secondary to delivery. I’ve always thought that if I was involved in food service I’d eat constantly, but what was behind the glass was not appealing. Oh, the food was appealing, but when one young woman poured a heaping plastic jug of strawberry juice into the ice cream machine, it was almost gross.

I’d love to tell you the new all-beef hot dog is as good as the Hebrew National ones they used to sell, but that would be untrue. It’s edible, but not delectable. But I’d be lying if I said it did not hit the spot. And the condiments, it’s unlike most outlets. You push the relish button and a bunch of relish comes out, not just a dribble.

But what fascinated me most about Costco was the people. No one was dressed up. Who knows, especially in Southern California, you can look like a homeless person and be rich. But most looked like they didn’t work in air-conditioning and they were out to save a buck. All colors, all ethnicities, we were all in it together. Twice people bumped into me and apologized. Most places people don’t even look back, or yell it’s your fault. The rich are grubbing for advantage, not worrying about the rest, but when you’re average, you watch out for each other, you feel like you’re all in it together.

And although I felt somewhat alien, I did not feel superior. But then I thought of people I knew who wouldn’t be caught dead in Costco. It’s beneath them. They don’t want to hang with those people. As if something would rub off.

And then there are their children, who’ve never been exposed to the way the rest of us live. They’ve only flown private, they live behind gates, go to private schools…they’re blind to the human condition.

And in truth, it works the opposite way. If people saw how the rich truly lived, there’d be revolution in the streets. Never mind the fact that they don’t pay their fair share of taxes. Oh, don’t bother me with that hogwash about the rich paying the lion’s share of taxes. The more you make, the more you pay. But the percentage may be less. Leaving you with more, much more. And when you add in trusts and investment income, there are so many ways to avoid taxes. Even worse… I went to the accountant this week, we got a filing reprieve in California until 10/15. And she’s asking me for my estimated tax receipts. I always used to make copies of the checks, but I learned the hard way never to send a check in the mail ever again. So I pay online, and I get an e-mail confirmation, and do I need to print that out? I told the accountant I’d paid. She told me so many people say they paid, but had not. I said that wasn’t my personality, I’d paid, I could provide records, but then it occurred to me how easy it was to cheat on your taxes. And the odds of getting audited… Have been worse if you’re poor! If Donald Trump had not raised his profile, become president, his tax shenanigans never would have surfaced. What they did with giving the family money and then the family overcharging for services… You probably don’t even understand, your taxes are easy, you work for the man. But trust me, Trump cheated, it’s in black and white. But Trump isn’t the only one. Yet the goal of the right is to defund the IRS, characterizing it as a vulture operation that’s going to screw you. You can’t be screwed, because you get a weekly paycheck, with deductions. But the wealthy? Let the game begin.

That’s America, it’s a two-tiered system, in income, in justice, in so many ways. And neither side truly knows what is going on with the other.

The people at Costco were looking to save money. It’s an effort to shop at Costco. A thrill for someone like me, but not for so many who have families, who are trying to make ends meet.

And on the way out I saw the vision department and thought about how Luxottica owns all the frame companies and rips the regular customer off, and then the prescription department, and I realized that Costco is an entire mentality, in some ways a middle finger to the system. The people who shop at Costco are smart, they don’t want to be ripped-off. And they trust Costco. The same way I trust Amazon. Ever have a problem with Amazon? The customer service is amazing. You got the wrong product? They take the charge off your bill and tell you to keep it.

And all this happened, I experienced all this, learned all this, once I walked out the front door. And in truth I rarely have to walk out the front door anymore. So much is virtual, so much is delivered direct, that ultimately I’m isolated, and I’m not the only one.

We still haven’t recovered from Covid. There are a ton of shows, but the social scene of the music business, the lunches and dinners…that hasn’t fully come back.

It’s different.

I can understand people not wanting to return to the office. And oftentimes people are more productive at home, never mind saving the time it takes to commute. But something has been lost.

But it’s not only about a return to the office. We’ve all burrowed down into our own little holes. You used to have to leave the house to meet people, to get a date, now you can do that from the comfort of your own home. All this talk about a loneliness epidemic, men having no friends, I understand it. But we can’t demonize the internet, it’s the best thing that ever happened to me, we can reach out and touch so many, we’re never completely alone. But the human touch is important too. We no longer bowl together, and who even bowls anyway? Hanging with the masses, those you don’t know, is anathema. We all live in the country, but we are not all in it together.

Unless you’re at Costco. It’s a melting pot, and being there felt good. Everyone should experience it.

I’m numb. Both physically and emotionally.

Monday night I bit down on a parmesan crisp and I felt a jolt in my mouth. I thought I might have broken a tooth, but there was nothing loose in my mouth, and usually there is if this happens, I know, from experience, just back in February.

But my tooth seemed solid. Yet there was an ache. And I chalked it up to nerves, to my gums, because when I was at the dentist a couple of months back complaining about pain, thinking a tooth he saved ten years previously in a delicate procedure was broken, he said it was just fine, and it was gum pain, and he shaved down the aforementioned tooth just a bit and voila, after a couple of weeks I was fine.

But Tuesday night my OCD started to kick in. I mean the pain wasn’t any less. Then again, it was not pain. It was just a dull ache, when I bit down on something. But still…

Then yesterday, Wednesday, during physical therapy, I ran my tongue over the tooth in question and I felt something different, something sticking out, and I knew I had to see the dentist.

You see I know the dentist doesn’t work on Friday. And I’m out of town next Monday to Wednesday for a gig. So I break the PT session to call the dentist’s office. They say he can see me at 11:10 in the morning. Great, but I’ve got a shrink appointment at that time, what about the afternoon? No availability. So I said I’d take it, worrying that the shrink would charge me for the canceled appointment…if I don’t cancel within twenty four hours I’ve got to pay, and it was less than twenty four hours.

Ultimately my shrink filled the hole, so it was a non-issue, and I showed up in Beverly Hills for the appointment at 11:10.

Upon inspection, it was determined that my tooth had a crack in it. But it was worse than that, because the crack went below the gumline, and if it went too far below the gumline it couldn’t be repaired. And if it could be repaired, I’d need a root canal, and then would the tooth even survive that long, or would it be better just to pull it. Only the periodontist could tell for sure, and he wasn’t in. After asking if I could handle the discomfort until tomorrow, which I said I could, the periodontist was booked for Friday afternoon. But then it was determined that the periodontist could return at 4:15 if I was available. Absolutely, I’ve cleared the decks, I’ll be there.

So I go home in a funk, I’m in suspended animation, and return at 4:15 and I sit down in the chair and the periodontist starts talking about the wrong tooth!

I’ve got to back up here. Before I left earlier, they did a CT scan. Used to be you had to go to a separate office on Beverly Drive and sit amidst giant equipment, but now the CT scan is something minor, that looks like it was 3-D printed, there’s one in the office, they strapped my head in, and that was the picture the periodontist was looking at.

And he’s talking about an infection and my head is spinning… I’m here for a cracked tooth, what are you talking about?

Well, that implant I got back in 2017… The bone has receded, there’s an infection, it has to come out.

Whoa!

To tell you the truth I didn’t believe it, I needed to be convinced. I got the whole rap and I accepted my fate and then reminded this guy that I was there for a completely different reason, which was news to him. Yet upon investigation, he saw what I was talking about.

So now I get numbed up so the cracked part of the tooth can be removed. And when it is extracted… It looks to me like it goes too far below the gumline to save it. But he tells me if he adds some bone, the dentist can do it. And then the dentist comes in for a consultation, and says I dodged a bullet, because the nerve was not involved, and as long as the periodontist leaves a millimeter of bone, he can fix the tooth, sans root canal.

That’s a big point, saving the tooth. That’s today’s mantra. And after finding out my expensive implant needed to be removed, so that they could clean out the infection and add some bone, I bought the theory.

So then I got a temporary, which this guy said would stay fixed in Canada, I’ve had temporaries fall off previously, and then we talked about surgery…

We could do it right then, but I’d have discomfort for three or four days. We batted it about, this guy was giving me tons of time, and decided the best plan was to wait until the following Thursday to have the implant removed and the cracked tooth fixed up, he said it was best to do them at the same time, they were on the same side, and he didn’t want to prescribe antibiotics twice.

Oh, what caused the crack? An amalgam filling. You know, from back in the day. Before fluoridated water, when cavities were part of growing up. Man, that tooth was probably filled before I was even ten. But amalgam expands and causes cracks…the periodontist could see it when he opened up the tooth.

So then we had to book the anesthesiologist, get the details down, and meanwhile, the guy behind the desk is asking me to pay. He says they’re going to waive some fee, but still…I was out the better part of a grand.

But that wasn’t as bad as when his compatriot asked me to sign a form acknowledging the details of next week’s procedures and I realized…by time this is done, I’m going to be out double-digit thousands.

Whoa!

So what are the options?

Well, this dentist is a miracle worker. He saved two teeth that another dentist and an oral surgeon said had to absolutely be removed.

But as expensive as the dentist is, most of the cost here is the periodontist.

So… I could just have the tooth pulled and leave a space. But that makes you look like a homeless person, that won’t do.

As for the implant being removed… The periodontist started talking about the infection going through the blood, into the heart, and I’ve already got enough things wrong with me, I don’t want to risk it. He was more concerned about the infection than the cracked tooth anyway.

And I could not put a new implant in the back, but that goes against what all the professionals advise. The periodontist said my other teeth would bear an undue load, and would ultimately crack.

No, I’ve got to do this right.

There are a few areas where I don’t cheap out. Health, my ski equipment and my computer equipment. Oh, and my car too. I repair it to the limit when scheduled. Then again, it’s an eighteen year old car.

But what do other people do?

Well, I know some well-heeled people who refuse to pay for health issues. They save the money, it’s better spent on a vacation, or an automobile… But just like if you don’t service a car it eventually fails, same deal with the human body, and that’s all you have, the other stuff is superfluous.

But how about the people who don’t have the money, what do they do?

Well, I know some who get the teeth pulled, or go to the UCLA dentistry school, and I just read a whole article about dental services over the border in Mexico.

But nothing is free. And we live in a country of haves and have-nots.

And the have-nots die sooner. And it’s all because of health care. Yes, the wealthy live longer because they get better health care. It’s regularly reported in the news, with data. Oh, that’s right, you can’t trust the “New York Times,” you don’t want to get vaccinated. I want all the help I can get. Man, give me that shot. I’ll take the risk, which is nearly infinitesimal anyway, despite what RFK Jr. says.

But even if you have dental insurance, which I don’t, it doesn’t cover much, everybody says to forgo its purchase. But what does everybody else do?

I mean you can show up at the emergency room and get seen without insurance, but not if you’ve got a problem with your teeth. What do you do?

And in truth, an infection in your mouth can kill you, my cardiologist told me this. But so many are young and think they’ll live forever and as you get older, especially men, they believe in ignorance, if you don’t think about it it doesn’t exist. So, we lose members of the cohort on a regular basis, whether it be Warren Zevon or that guy who died of a heart attack in his forties, and the rest of us make note of it and keep on living.

And how much longer are we going to live anyway?

My mother always complained that people live too long. She did not fear dying, as a matter of fact, she always told us if she was in the hospital to kill her. You know, pull the plug. Don’t employ unnecessary measures to prolong her life. And that’s the exact phrase she used, KILL ME!

Then again, I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that my upbringing was so different from so many. My parents didn’t believe in closing our eyes, quite the contrary, they wanted to open them. Screw movie ratings, just go, we’ll get you in. My parents were the opposite of afraid, they dove in, grabbed on with both of their hands, they ate up life.

As for pampering us… Not only did my mother never drive us to school she never picked us up. I remember walking home in second grade during a hurricane, they closed school early.

But turning seventy has changed my perspective. My father died at seventy. And how long am I going to live anyway?

One thing is for sure, I don’t want to relax, miss life, I want to eat it up, that’s what my mother specialized in, what she taught me. And I don’t want to die in my sleep, I want to see it coming, I want to know.

And in truth you don’t want to live forever. All your friends are dead. It’s really depressing. But how much longer am I going to live?

If I die in the next couple of years it won’t matter how much money I spend fixing my teeth. But if I live another couple of decades, do I risk outliving my money?

Man, my generation has its head in the ground. Close family friends, two couples, ran out of money, their kids kept them alive, but I have no kids.

And it’s hard to dream about my financial future. Everybody’s on social security, they don’t want to work. I want to work, I’m willing to work, I am still working, but it’s weird, most people my age, people I know, are done, like life is over, and they complain about their cash and their ailments, and I don’t want to be one of those.

But if I’m laying out all this money for my mouth, does it pay to scrimp elsewhere?

Scrimping, being cheap, if you age and this is how you behave I feel sorry for you. It’s one thing if you’ve got no bread, then I really feel bad for you, but I know too many who won’t go and do, who buy second-rate products, believing they’re unentitled. I’ve gotta ask, when will this change, when will you be entitled? You don’t want to die with regrets. Oh, we all have regrets, anybody who denies this is lying, but you don’t want to be on your deathbed lamenting you didn’t go here or there.

I mean for this amount of money I could have gone skiing in South America this summer, twice, it started truly dumping a couple of weeks back. Seems extravagant, but how much am I laying out for my teeth?

I feel good that I got two new pairs of skis last year. Because it made me happy! Skiing is number one, that’s why I went to Middlebury, and that’s what I still do, 57 days last year. Oh, you don’t know if I’m in Vail, with modern communications methods you can be anywhere! And my new 99s, they hold like ice skates on Pepi’s Face, which is rock hard, and as steep as anything at Vail. I could have gotten another season out of my old boards, but man, when I hit the hard stuff, it was scary. Why live this way?

I’ve got the money to pay my dental bill. I don’t want to pay my dental bill. I mean last week I thought my teeth were fine. This came out of the blue. But it always comes out of the blue. Which is why you have to have a nest egg, which is another reason to not buy stuff on credit. I mean what do you really NEED! Credit card interest is insane, unless you absolutely need it, don’t charge it. Then again, I believe in delayed gratification, but too many do not. They want it, they believe they deserve it, right now. Many of those people you know leading high-flying lifestyles are flat broke. One paycheck away from losing it all. They’re worried about their image.

No one cares about you, they only care about themselves. Oh, don’t tell me otherwise, everybody’s narcissistic at the core. I’m not saying they’ve got no compassion, I’m just saying if you think people care what you look like, where you go, what you drive, you’re plain wrong. They might say something, put you down, but they don’t think about you for long, they’re too busy thinking about themselves.

So I’m just biting the bullet. I’m just paying. Like I said, if I die in a few years it’s a drop in the bucket. And if I live long… Well, that’s challenging, I always say if I outlive my money I’ll kill myself, commit suicide. I mean what else can you do? Oh, maybe I’d live the homeless life for a while, but aren’t the homeless the enemy?

Everybody in America decries the so-called takers, not realizing they are already taking and they might need the safety net provided by the government, to the degree it exists. But like I said above, everybody thinks they’re immune, that it won’t happen to them, that they’re living a charmed life and everything will work out with no bumps in the road and it will be sunny for the rest of their days.

Wrong.

You can pooh-pooh the above screed, but the truth is everybody weighs these issues, has these internal debates, they just don’t want you to think they’re weak, so they don’t verbalize them. Especially men, they’ve got to be macho. That doesn’t do much for you when you’re six feet under.

We’re all trying to figure it out for ourselves. You realize this when your parents are gone, when they’re not there to lean on, to give you advice, to scold you, to cough up some dough if you’re in a pinch. If you’re just putting one foot in front of the other, blindly…man, one day you’re going to fall into a pothole and good luck recovering.

I’m rationalizing. I’m overwhelmed with this bill. But I know the right thing to do. I’m gonna just go ahead and pay it. Life is funny that way, you’re down one day, and then something good happens and you’re rescued the next. You can’t be afraid to live life, you’ve got to go in with both guns blazing.

But I’m going to get one hell of a credit card bill next month.