This is not a harbinger of what’s to come, this is the last gasp of a dead paradigm.

In other words, record reviews are history.

We needed them. Because there was no way to hear most of the music. We needed guidance before we laid down our cold hard cash. And we got to the point where we trusted certain writers, or at least had the skinny on their viewpoint. And then there was the imprimatur of the publications themselves. “Rolling Stone” had gravitas. As for the magazine sporting that moniker today, it’s behind a paywall and is invested in clickbait headlines and they say it’s making money, but it’s lost all cultural relevance.

Cultural relevance? How do you achieve it?

Via word of mouth.

Which means it’s out of control. In other words, the usual suspects, the tastemakers, the gatekeepers, they’ve lost all power. And on one hand this is fine with the consumer, this has been an evolution since the mushrooming of the internet around the turn of the century. On the other, there’s no coherence, no way to make the public aware of great stuff, that they should know about.

This responsibility now lies with the distributors, although they’ve completely abdicated it. They think it’s all about personalization. But people could find the records they wanted to hear in the retail bins, but it was those featured on the endcaps, those that were played in the store, that mattered.

So Spotify, et al, have to promote one track a week. On the homepage. That everyone is exposed to. Maybe have a round robin. One week for Universal, one week for Sony, one week for Warner and one week for independents.

Or maybe it’s more than one record. Each of the above four gets to put forth and feature one track a week.

But ideally it would be less. Somewhere between one and three.

And they would be from different genres. This is not like the Top Forty radio of today, all hip-hop and pop. I’m speaking of something more akin to the FM radio of yore, when it was underground and free-form, when it was a cultural meeting place. The records will be featured because people should hear them, need to hear them, not because they will become instant smashes.

So I hear you now, saying you’re not interested in most records. Fine, but I know you’ve got the power of analysis, I know you like to talk about records, I know you like to trash the records you don’t like. But when you do this now you’re operating in a vacuum, it’s just you. But if we were all exposed to the same tracks…

Yes, kind of like a national book club, like Oprah, “Good Morning America,” “Read with Jenna.” However, it takes much less time to listen to a track than read a book. Not only would the chosen tracks get traction, i.e. listens, we could discuss them amongst ourselves. Worthy left field stuff could blow up.

The dirty little secret is the labels are unable to break new acts. Which are the lifeblood of the music economy. There are almost no bright spots. They keep trying to amplify social media stars to little effect. There needs to be an outside force.

This is not terrestrial radio. More people are going to the homepage of the streaming outlets than are listening to terrestrial radio. If you can find anyone under twenty five who still listens…I can’t.

So we need to whittle the chaos down. To comprehensible bites.

Now let’s be sure, the labels don’t want this, even though they need this. They’ll argue over who has more market share. They’ll say they’ve got so many worthy cuts. Maybe Spotify has to pick the track. But Spotify and the labels and the acts must be in cahoots, so that any success can be amplified.

As for Pitchfork… They say there’s not enough money in advertising. But if the site were so desirable it could be subscription-based. But it’s not that desirable. I prefer Metacritic to Pitchfork anyway. Amazon’s book recommendations used to be done by humans. But they found out that the algorithm sold more books. So they fired the human curators. But having said that, there’s still a bit of curation left, on the new and noteworthy book level. I’m talking about something like that. However, the spots can’t be bought, this can’t be advertising.

So Pitchfork started when alternative rock was…an alternative. Now everything is an alternative, nothing is a reaction to anything because there’s no context. You don’t care about what you don’t care about. But having said that, people have a strong desire to find new music, and they can’t seem to do this, it’s overwhelming.

And forget playlists… That’s passive and we’re talking active here. We want people to listen and comment, and discuss. Maybe even have a Netflix show once a week or once a month with the featured tracks/acts. This is not personal, but broad-based.

We need to bring the people together. And we do this by pointing them in a certain direction. They’re not going to pay for this information. And today it’s all about a very few, powerful sites. In music it’s Spotify, Amazon and Apple…with Deezer and Tidal and a few others as also-rans. That’s a lot of impressions, a lot of screen real estate, all in one place. Believe me, if everybody saw the same track posted on the homepage of any of these sites it would get people to listen.

Then again, it must be conveyed to the public that these tracks are based on their quality, that people need to listen to these acts, that they’re just not label priorities.

So some unknown reviewer giving their opinion on an album? Who cares about that. Which is why RottenTomatoes is more powerful than any single critic, it’s an average.

But watching an entire movie or series takes a ton of time, most people don’t do it. But to listen to a cut? That only takes a few minutes.

Maybe you get to vote, thumbs-up or thumbs-down. And there’s a playlist that also stays on the homepage of the tracks with the best rating.

This is not rocket science, this is about thoughts, innovation in a creative business. But today’s business is driven more by data than creativity. They’ve squeezed the soul right out of it. You need some wild thinkers. And the streaming platforms were built by techies, which is the wrong kind of innovation.

I’m talking here about taste, insight, having one’s finger on the pulse, knowing it when you hear it. Just like the FM jocks picked their favorite records, we need experts to decide what songs to feature/promote/hype.

But one thing is for sure, record review sites are not coming back, are not going to grow, because word of mouth from a trusted friend is much more powerful. You know where they’re coming from. And there’s no anointed critic who most people can agree on, they’re all faceless.

Music criticism is dead. If it comes back, it will look different.

But rather than try and resuscitate criticism, I’d like to build back the music itself. Think of the acts you found from the Warner Loss Leaders. There’s stuff you’d like if you just heard it. But now no one can listen to everything. And too many people promoting this act or that are bought and paid for, and therefore untrustworthy and ignored.

One can argue that the law would prevent collusion amongst the streaming services, choosing the same records. Then again, Springsteen was on the cover of both “Time” and “Newsweek,” there can be serendipity.

Then again, most people don’t subscribe to multiple services, so it’s just what they see on their service of choice.

And instead of printing the manipulated chart numbers, media outlets will print the songs featured this week.

We need to make it easier for the consumer. At the same time we’re telling them this music deserves respect, because it’s quality work.

We’ve got to stop lamenting the passage of the past and invest in the future.

There are multiple paths. The above is just one of them.

GREAT post..truer words were never spoken.

I am backstage caterer and artist/tour hospitality provider….Chase Center, Oracle, etc so I see things up close and personal. It’s a BUSINESS with timelines and deliverables. Hard core, for real.

For instance, if my crew is 5 minutes late on a union coffee break, there may be a fine attached and a “Whole Lotta Whining”  from the locals. I have never been late.

In every venue dining room, affectionately or sometimes snidely called “Catering” (our food is great), there is a “to the second” run of show posted on all four walls and doors. Almost always, it goes exactly as planned.

I was lucky enough to make my way into industry late in life so I never knew the old days of chaos and high drama.  Sounds fun. But these days, it is all professionalism and competence.  Don’t be late.

Stacy Scott

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2 hours late…lawsuit? The last Lauryn Hill concert I promoted she was still in the hotel at that time. After 3 hours I had to make some refunds. But no lawsuit.

I don’t know why I’m laughing, but my whole team still gets a kick out of it.

Tom Gribbin

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It comes down to respect. Time is the one thing we will never get back.

30 minutes late? People will resent, but will forgive if it’s a one off. Two or three hours late; it’s an insult.  And what about the people staffing the show?   Again, so insulting.

Audrey Fix Schaefer

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It should be noted, when I was in the ‘ game’ and G ‘n’ R were touring and Mr Rose was late every show the band got together and all agreed, band would be on time so Axle had to pay for the over run, when load out runs over the time allocated, normally 1am it could cost anywhere from 50 to 100 Grand depending if it was Teamsters or local help, this is the reason G ‘n’ R did the Monster tour with Metalica cause at the end of the G ‘n’ R tour Axle wanted to spend some of his money only to find out he was pretty broke and probably didn’t help the vibe in the camp.

I would think it’s pretty much the same today, y7our show goes into overtime you pay the price.

AS ya do, appreciate the emails

Ta

Neil Watson

Ireland

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The worst example of this I’ve seen in a while was the Lauryn Hill/Fugees Miseducation disaster that came through Vancouver recently. Known for being ‘late’, Lauryn Hill was so late that the opening ‘DJ’ had to reassure the audience that Lauryn was “in the building, and would be taking the stage”. Not to worry.

Her show was lame. She fought imaginary monitor issues all night to mask her weakened voice and insecurity. I’ve done enough live sound to know a mask when I see one.

Pras couldn’t make it through the border so the ‘Fugees’ portion was Lauryn and Wyclef. I’m not a huge Wyclef fan but I will say that when he took the stage the show locked up and was 1,000% more professional.

What a letdown. My wife and I were excited to tap into the nostalgia and are huge fans of the Miseducation album, we almost left early.

Cheers,

Mike.

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Surprised you didn’t bring up the Mother of all abusively late artists, Lauryn Hill. She typically holds her “fans” hostage for 3-4 hours. I have friends that have played with her and quit because of this malignant narcissism.

What you also didn’t mention is that every hour one of these artists are late are an extra hour the crews and musicians don’t get to sleep, they still have to show up the same time the next day! Like the crews don’t work hard enough….this disgusts me.

And yes, I think Live Nation is also culpable-there should be a penalty in ALL of their contracts that any delays past one hour takes X amount out of the artist’s pocket. They are putting the artist over the fans. A fatal mistake that has been repeated through history. Greed kills!

What pisses me off is these slackers make us who respect our fans look bad. Like it’s not hard enough being a musician or crew member.

My dad was a musician and always told me “dress great and show up on time.”

CJ Vanston

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Even though you’re a music-centric Blog, no conversation about stage tardiness should exclude the Greatest Ever Magician – David Copperfield.

Years of 5 minutes 10 min 15-20 30 minutes late.   Audience chants, etc.  Always multi-show days which had this domino effect, of course, turning the theater, then Arenas.

One day during a 3, even 4 show per day weekend in Germany, I pre-show briefed him on the 6-7 thousand per show audiences to come for the sequential run of daily shows.

“Maybe we can get started 10 minutes or so latest, blah blah.”   David was sitting there with Claudia Schiffer and they looked at me blankly, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Well the people arre paying incredibly (new to me) $100++ equivalent ticket prices and I think you should know.”    Nothing.

Then he’d go out on stage and just Kill.  He could give a good f*ck.

We parted ways soon thereafter.  One of our many back n forth moments of employment over many decades.

But he is the Best at his Art.

Bob Cayne

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You what I love? When you go see Bob Dylan now, if the ticket says Show Time is 7:30…Show Time is 7:30 SHARP. The Show STARTS whether you’re in your seat or not. Bob’s got a year of other shows stretching out ahead of him, so he’s not waiting.  And I think when I went to two shows at the Beacon a couple years ago we were back out on the street by 9pm maybe 9:30. 17 songs.  I was HOME by 10pm and had seen an excellent, professionally presented live rock and roll show by Bob and His Band.  BRILLIANT.  More power to him.  All acts should adopt this concert philosophy.

Jason Cilo

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She pulled that sh*t at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in 2019. BAM is right near Barclay’s, but it’s  a 2,000 seat “opera house” as opposed to a basketball/hockey arena.
Tix were pricey, and she came out real late. But, I have to say it was a great show (different than concert); a real (almost avant garde) production. I was never a big fan of her music, but I have to say I dug the performance.
But, I figured she pulled the hours late thing because we were at BAM in hipper than hip Brooklyn (I’m a native pre-hipster Brooklynite). Not cool that this is her M.O. everywhere.
Hey, by the way, your Tony Visconti and John Scher podcasts were mesmerizing!

Keep ‘em coming!
Jeff Douglas

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Nearly all major venues have show curfew times, dictated by excessive labor costs for overtime, i.e. after 11 PM.  Some venues charge penalties to artists who aren’t finished by 11 PM.  Significant penalties.  That can grow minute by minute after 11 PM.

Axl Rose didn’t care, at Guns N Roses shows back in the day.  When he toured with AC/DC, Angus called the shots and they went on every night on time. Since then, Axl’s gotten better.

Those costs can be enormous.  Most artists don’t want to incur those costs.

Toby Mamis

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Also in the old days, you could imagine a rock star being late because they were out of control, doing lines, getting over a hangover, in the dressing room having a fivesome, or even still sleeping from the previous night’s debauchery. You could be amused by it and wish you were them.

But now it’s more likely their yoga/nutritionist/fitness coach was running late. Or that they were too busy realigning their chakras to float out on stage.

Cha-cha-cha-cha-changes.

Paul Gigante

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Bands should realize that a half hour is enough time for excitement to build. If the show is at 8 o’clock I arrive in my seat at 7.30 and the lights go down at 8 and preferably the first few notes are played in the dark then boom the stage lights up and off we go. That’s the way it should always go. If I have to sit for an hour or two in some cases then my inclination is to rush the stage and throat punch the singer to the point he may never be able to sing again, not that I would ever do that but one can dream.

It seems to be an American thing where they are incapable of starting things on time. I’ve watched I don’t know how many news conferences in the last 4 years and not one, not one has started when they said they would. How fucking hard is that to do?

Greg Stroh

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I went to see Sly and the Family Stone… notoriously for being late.

An hour and a half it took…

BTW.. the show was phenomenal.

Jeff Laufer

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Man, you are right, Bob, in saying that concerts are a mature business. I just turned 67, and most of the shows I see now are at festivals which are run like the Swiss train system, and small club shows featuring up-and-coming acts and some nostalgia acts. Generally, they are run on time.  Madonna may think the biggest spotlight still shines on her, but she is a nostalgia act, and people who go to see nostalgia acts are older folks expecting things to be “as advertised”. I love my fellow Michigander, Madonna, but she should respect her audience.

Ross Field

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We were just at dinner. I told my wife about your letter. She said… Madonna is on tour? I had no idea.

Mission accomplished.

Marty Winsch

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Right On,as  we would say in my day.  I hope one day Madonna pisses off enough people that they are onl wiling to see her concert on  HBO Max

What disrespect on her part…..

Fern Cohen

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I’m glad those 2 are suing. You could offer me free tickets to see Madonna and I’d pass. Sure, she had hits back in the day, but she seems like a cartoon trying to be young. I’d rather see Weyes Blood or Laufey at a small venue than Madonna at a stadium.

Turk

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I was a roadie in the days when there was only one of me and some of my worse memories are trying to corral band members to get them on stage on time.. I worked for blues and R&B based bands with horn sections and multiple keyboards so there was a lot of band to gather.

And Jamie Lee is one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.

Phil Brown

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Great piece Bob. I couldn’t agree with you more.

Kyle JF

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Bad look for Madonna, and I agree with everything you said until “I applaud these guys for suing.” There are better forums to solve this problem – reviews, articles, social media rants. I don’t see how a lawsuit helps – what precedence does this set for artists? The only people who win here are the lawyers. Let the fans speak their mind and Madonna can choose to listen or not.

Todd Olsen

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Bitch, she’s Madonna.

She was one hour late in Copenhagen. When I last saw her in Paris, her back was screwed and we ended up waiting in the theatre (boiling) two or three hours.
It’s not raw power, it’s a show. So maybe she should have started on time. But to me, that has zero importance afterwards if the show is great. And this one was.

I’ve been to around 25-50 gigs a year of all sorts since Wings in 1972, I don’t mind. If I go to a concert or a play, even a movie, everything else ceases to exist.
Even when it is my job to be there, even if I’ve already seen the artist live 30 times, even if don’t like the artist – even if afterwards it turns out it was all just hot air.
It’s always a purely divine moment of artistry and human interaction*.
In cellars, clubs, arenas, festivals, waiting an extra hour is therefore a bonus, as far I’m concerned.
Sorry, not festivals. I hate to miss another concert on the field just because someone overslept or is too drunk. But that’s another story and very rarely happens these days.

I realise gigs is just popcorn, games or streaming for people like this. They may be right, well from their perspective of course they are. But the magic is not in sight there for them and that kind of makes me sad.
I’m just thankful that I can feel the divinity of a performance. And that my daughters and their friends can. It’s made my life so much better, including the waiting.

So, totally with the lady in question.
The suers should stick to the twilight of their smartphones.

Martin Theander
Malmö

* (excluding the non-listening Roger Waters, preaching brutally to his choir while showing it down or throats these days)

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Bob, this is kind of old news for Madonna fans.

Even seven years ago arguably “more in her prime” Abs heyday, she did the same thing; we had our daughter and a friend with us at this special treat for them in San Jose at the Shark Tank in great seats.

Sure enough the tickets said 8:30 start, but after a strange opening act with a DJ and a very long gap the girls were falling asleep by the 10:30-ish start time that did, like this one, run late into the wee hours.

She’s Madonna. Get over it. ;)))

Keep up the great work.

Cheers,

Matt Weeks

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The plaintiffs are right and should get some compensation…. They didn’t get the show they paid for.

Ron Eisenberg

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One sentence summed this meshugah mess, “You must respect the audience.”

I have been a fan of Madonna’s since she first burst onto the scene. I just finished reading the Madonna biography (over 1,000 pages) and it was a pretty fair review of her life, interspersed with pretty informative historical information surrounding her growth and development as an artist. She is a generally decent human being, so that she makes her fans wait like this is anti-thetical to that kindness and decency.

I have seen Madonna perform ONCE in my lifetime and swore I would never see her again because, I am a timely person that respects other people’s time. The stories about her late appearances onto the stage was enough to turn me off.

It’s a bummer, I know, I have precluded myself from seeing her live, but my time is just as important as Madonna’s.

Khila Khani

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I’m a Madonna fan, especially of the old stuff but my interest peaked around the early 90’s.  I thought after her last tour (she was two hours late to her 2019 Chicago dates – on a weeknight!) she might do more of her hits the next time.  But I’m surprised more isn’t being made about her not bringing a live band with her – relying mostly on tapes instrumentally.  In the NYT review, that didn’t come up until around paragraph fifteen.  I’m sorry M – instant dealbreaker for me.

Douglas Trapasso

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Sadly as iconic as she is, she needs to run a tighter show. Her audience is a combination of Gen X and Millennials who’ve paid top dollar to see her which one has to assume that includes money on a babysitter for the night out during the week.

Waiting two hours to see Madonna, no thanks.

Gary Marella

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Your points are valid Bob, but I feel like you’ve left out one key element.

Why should a fan be entitled to sue an artist for going on late? You can leave. Complain to the promoter that they promoted a said time and you need to get home, blah blah… If you aren’t too drunk to talk to someone in charge, and you are savvy enough to find a lawyer to take your frivolous case, I’m sure you’re smart enough to get a refund. And if you lose money on babysitters or whatever else, that’s a cost of playing the game. I bought two sets of tickets to the latest Eagles shows at the Forum – despite sounding amazing, the show was boring and uninspired. So much so, I sold my eighth row tickets for the second show at a loss rather than sit through it again. I’m not suing the Eagles because I wished their show was better. I just value my time, and I’d rather take the financial hit than go again. If Madonna went onstage too late, go home. I don’t think she chained everyone to their seats.

Hate the artist, bitch online, be a keyboard warrior for how the artist epitomizes everything wrong with the world and ruined your life. But a lawsuit? You went on late and I’m tired at work, so I’m suing you… Come on. Grow a set. We live in a lawsuit happy world, and it’s out of control. Now that I know I can sue an artist for going on late, can I sue them for making an album I paid for and don’t like? When some lascivious story comes out and I find out fifteen years later that said artist (allegedly) isn’t the person I thought they were/are, can I sue them for making me like them under false pretenses?

When I show up on time for a doctor’s appointment, can I sue the doctor if they see me late? Even better, can I sue the person that showed up late for their doctor’s appointment, causing the doctor to run late and making my appointment late, thus throwing the rest of my day off?

Everything you said is true, but where do we draw the line. This lawsuit is absurd.

PAUL GARGANO

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I would ave loved to see her again. Madonna at her best is the epitome of pop. Her music and show sparkle, titillate and excite. I grew up with her music and really love some of it.
But-
Cut it out. Concerts are more expensive than ever and frankly that ticket is kind of a contract. If I’m paying all that money to see a show at 8:30 on Monday and you start at 10:15 (this happened in Boston), you’ve broken the contract.
I heard about her late starts and saw those prices and easily decided that my memories of her past shows would do. And this is it for me lately. I’d love to See Sarah MacLachlan too – but her tickets are fetching ridiculous prices at a medium sized outdoor venue. Nope.
My days of seeing multiple shows of the same artist are over. I’m not paying the crazy prices and I’m not staying out till 1a to get my moneys worth.

Marc McDonald

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– to illustrate your Madonna reality check and difference between rock n roll and show business then and now, here’s one you may appreciate.

It was New York. Summer of 1971. I was 16 and living in Nassau County. A friend came by with some weed. In a teenage haze, with ‘no particular place to go’ we thought to ride over to Forest Hills Stadium in the afternoon and sniff out The Who show scheduled for that evening.
We arrived ‘pre’ sound check and walked right up to the stage. With nobody but the stage crews around, we made our way to the steps that led to the stage. Patti Labelle’s piano tech was tuning the piano and we walked up looking out over the stadium grounds. 16 years old and we couldn’t believe our luck! Chip Monck was testing the monitor board and treated us like we belonged there??

3 hours later, we’re still hanging by the stage steps. Patti Labelle had finished her set 45 minutes ago, the house lights dimmed, and to my left I noticed a group of guys laughing and talking while a flashlight led the way walking toward us…….

THE WHO TOOK THE STAGE! We watched the show like church mice next to Chip Monck….The ROCK N ROLL GODS WERE WITH US!…but my friend said it was the smoke.

Steve Chrismar

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This is what we get. Having a computer with 24/7 news and info at our fingertips has its pros and cons. Nothing makes news and stays relevant anymore. We just don’t have the BANDWIDTH for it. The one person who’s been in the news for the last 8 years consistently is Trump. And it’s because he was famous already and became more so by being president. But music isn’t what it used to be. I could find you 300 Taylor Swifts in Nashville alone right now. Can you find me another LeBron James?

Just Danny Jay

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I read your piece on the Madonna lawsuit.

I was, as always, impressed with your insight.

However, there was one sentence that caught my eye.

You say, “ It’s not rock and roll anymore, it’s show business.”

With the greatest of respect, Bob, it was always show business.

From Elvis to Dylan to the Stones to Bruce, it was always show business!

With best wishes,

Terry Ellis

LOVE ON THE SPECTRUM – Season 2

Netflix trailer: https://rb.gy/mlhk52

I could watch this all day, every day. Will you feel the same way? I won’t guarantee it.

Maybe it’s who I am, or maybe it’s because I’ve gotten older, but ultimately it all comes down to people, and their interactions. Sure, achievement is important, but it’s secondary to life, which everybody lives. We all encounter challenges, and your possessions will not keep you warm at night.

So what we’ve got here is people on the autism spectrum.

Let’s be clear. These are not people who you think have Asperger’s (a term no longer used), these are people who are challenged, who you can tell are a bit different oftentimes just by looking at them, certainly after hearing them speak. They’re different, but no better or worse than you and me. They’re here on this planet. They’re looking for love, companionship. They want to have full lives. But it’s challenging.

Now one thing you notice is the commitment of the parents. They’ve risen to the challenge, their lives are now consumed by, centered around their child, even if they have other children. And oftentimes these other children focus on the sibling with autism, because they’re special in unanticipated ways. They’re warm, compassionate, lovable. But most have trouble interacting with other people. They’re afraid.

So many of these people have never gone on a date before. They don’t even know how to do it. What seems easy to you or me is unfathomable to them. Connor is so nervous. You’re rooting for him, but at times he literally needs to take himself out of the action, to cool down. And when a potential date comes his way he starts to boil on the inside, and his mother, bless her heart, says the family is not going to talk about it, they’re going to leave it in abeyance, for Connor to ponder, over the next week. I wish my mother had the same attitude. Some girl I had an attraction to would come up at the dinner table and my father would joke and my sisters would poke and I would do everything in my power to make sure the girl never came up in conversation again.

And then there’s Abbey. I’ve seen her and her mother on social media. They travel, she makes hats. She’s upbeat and attractive, and can be enthusiastic, but can also be deeply disappointed. She’s a joy, except when she’s not. She’s still seeing David… And we ultimately find out David’s one of three, triplets. The other two are girls, normal as you and me. But David…

Yet he’s got such a warm heart.

And then there’s Dani. My absolute favorite. She’s got all these requirements. Her significant other must love animation, must be educated, must have a good job. You have to smile and laugh, but to her these are nonnegotiables. And Dani lives with her aunt and uncle in Pasadena and has since age eleven and I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened here. So I researched online, and found out even though Dani is so verbal today, she didn’t speak at all until she was six, her parents couldn’t handle her and her autism.

And then there’s Tanner. He’s got a job at a hotel in Clemson and an incredibly positive disposition. But he thinks he should walk in front of his date. He lives outside the family home, unlike most in this series, but there are certain verticals of human interaction in which he is totally blank.

And then there’s James, from the Boston area. He has deep anxiety. And, like most of his castmates, has deep interests in specialized categories, in his case he loves and collects swords. And he’s intelligent and can understand the world, but when it comes to interactions… He too has a checklist.

It’s fascinating. They’ve had almost no love interactions, but their desires are so high. Then again, it’s kind of like you and me, when we start dating, we’ve got a picture of who our significant other will be, and they ultimate don’t comport with that image whatsoever.

The series is heartbreaking and heartwarming. You wince yet you laugh. You feel sorry for these people and then you admire them.

Two thumbs WAY up!

SALTBURN

Trailer: https://rb.gy/j9wqyr

You’ve seen the ads. It played in theatres, now it’s part of Amazon Prime. I felt the buzz so I looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes, where it has a 71% critics rating (and a 79% audience score, but I don’t always trust that). 

In this case, the critics have it exactly right. 71% is accurate.

And you know that 80% is my standard. But two people I trust (although I won’t trust them so much in the future), absolutely raved about “Saltburn” and Felice wanted to watch something different, so we pulled it up.

First and foremost you’ll notice the aspect ratio. As in it doesn’t fit your entire screen. Which is kind of odd. Since it used to be the other way around.

Anyway, the images are rich. And it starts in Oxbridge. (I learned this term from Tony Wilson, Oxford and Cambridge, and I still can’t tell the two universities apart).

And Ollie has no friends, and Felix is the life of the party.

So what I got most from this movie was the life of the idle rich.

I know some of these people. You think you want to not have to worry about money, not have to worry about having a job, but that is absolutely untrue. Then what time would you wake up? So many of these people are deep into alcohol, partying. Sure, they hang with household names at places you can’t get into, but once you’re up close and personal…you wouldn’t want to.

Actually, I was reading in the “Times” about the World Economic Forum in Davos and…

By time I was through I had no desire to go. You see there’s a hierarchy.

You can’t get backstage. But once you’re in that world, there’s a stratum of passes. And what you want is All Access, and not everybody gets it. You see people who think they’re friends of the band, who know someone attached to the band or the promoter, and they walk around with their passes stuck right up front on their clothing and basically they can’t get in anywhere.

I can get All Access at shows. But not in the rest of life. Because I haven’t paid the dues. You have to pay the dues in every vertical to get access. Sure, if you’re big enough you can transfer from one to another, but then you must be a household name. And you get to the point where you no longer want to have to fight, to prove your worthiness, you’d rather just not go at all. It’s akin to cocaine. Which is not like marijuana. As in it’s expensive and unless you’re somebody, you’re not going to be invited into the bathroom. What was that joke? Ultimately behind the door there’s one very famous person doing coke alone?

Anyway, I mention the World Economic Forum because this article listed acts who played gigs there. I’m sure it paid well, and Sting was there in support of RED, a charity, but is there anything acts won’t do these days? A musician can get the notice of these fat cats by speaking truth, that is their power. Instead, most sell out and cower to people who don’t care about them and never will. These musicians have a price, and it’s insanely low, even if it’s a few million dollars, that means nothing to these people. Furthermore, oftentimes the act performs and no one even listens. And this is what is wrong with both music and the world today. Money talks.

Anyway, Felix’s family has money. Inherited wealth. No one works. And…

These are the people you read about who you think are so fabulous and watching “Saltburn” you see they are not. Or at least you should see this, maybe you’re mesmerized by the trappings, like Ollie.

Rosamund Pike is SO good. Thin as a whippet, as most of the ultra-rich are. She’s cold and gossipy and lives under the rubric of the show must go on, no matter what. And everything is expendable.

Her husband is a doofus.

And then you’ve got another woman married to a doofus and knows it, but he’s rich!

And then you’ve got Felix’s sister, who is lost and looking for love.

And so much of “Saltburn” is so well done, but ultimately you’ll be disappointed. You won’t see the twist coming, it’s only foreshadowed a scene before, but then…

You ultimately won’t buy it.

So ultimately I can’t recommend “Saltburn.” It’ll hold your attention, but it’s not riveting. And you’ve seen films like this before, it’s just that they stopped making them once superhero blockbusters started to dominate. Felix has that easygoing prep school charisma. I know, because I went to a college where 45% of the students went to prep school. And Farleigh is the epitome. A lackadaisical attitude. They take nothing seriously. They think it’s all a game. But they’re so well-read, they can run circles around those who went to public schools (well, private schools are called “public” in the U.K., but you know what I’m talking about).

And speaking of Farleigh, he keeps reinforcing that Ollie is an outsider, that he can never have what he and his family have. And this is true.

Once again, if you’re kissing the ass of the rich for the perks, you’ve got it all wrong, you’re missing the point, the joke is on you. They’ll never ever accept you. And even when you’re with them you’re a second class citizen. You can fly on the private plane, but you can’t sit in their seat. You can live off their largesse but don’t act like you expect it. They can take you to dinner, but if you ask where you’re going to dinner first that makes you appear entitled, and they don’t like that. They are in control. You can perform for your supper. You can make conversation. But when they circle the wagons you’re out.

Then again, if you haven’t hung with these people will you get this?

I don’t know. But I do know that ultimately “Saltburn” goes from believable to unbelievable and in the process the entire film is compromised.

Tune in Saturday January 20th to Faction Talk, channel 103, at 4 PM East, 1 PM West.

Phone #: 844-686-5863

Twitter: @lefsetz

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