Peter Frampton-This Week’s Podcast

Peter comes alive!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-frampton/id1316200737?i=1000645437022

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9ff4fb19-54d4-41ae-ae7a-8a6f8d3dafa8/episodes/a1fb821a-d67f-4782-857b-43c4084e2db6/the-bob-lefsetz-podcast-peter-frampton

One More Thing

No, I’m not going to follow in the footsteps of Steve Jobs and make a big announcement. However, I do want to make one more point, comment on one more moment of “The Greatest Night in Pop.”

We watched this last night. We took a break from the Turkish series “The Club” we’re watching on Netflix. Pretty fascinating TV, but it wasn’t until the third episode that I got hooked. What you’ve got is Istanbul in the fifties, and a nightclub signs an unknown who everyone else has rejected, and there’s a contrast between the Jews and the Muslims and… You might think it’s soap operaish. I don’t know, I can be sappy, I can suspend disbelief and go with a show. Actually, I like to be taken away, it makes me feel alive.

And speaking of feeling alive, it was what they call a bluebird day in Vail. As in not a cloud in the sky. And all I could think was how great it was to be alive. And I don’t always feel this way. Although one thing about getting older is you become better adjusted, you smooth out, you don’t have as many downs.

But having said that, other things are not quite as meaningful. Like the Super Bowl. I mean I remember watching the very first one. And no game has ever superseded the legend of Namath’s victory with the Jets. But Sunday was a a great game, the only one I watched all year, I’ve sworn off the NFL because of CTE, but the Super Bowl is an American rite, a holiday, a get-together we can all share, that we can all comment on. And I did discuss the 49ers strategy with Richard. Who told me they should have let KC have the ball first in overtime, to see what Mahomes could do, so that maybe if they were in the red zone thereafter they could put the ball in the end zone instead of kicking a field goal. As for Usher?

Man, I’ve got to give him props for roller skating, how long did he work on that. But as for Usher, and Alicia Keys… I guess our stars were bigger, and certainly not based on dancing. And not only were their songs hits, they were embedded in us, and all of us knew them. All of this to say I saw no need to comment on the performance. Maybe they should bring back Up With People, because Prince holds the trophy, no one could ever be that good. And it’s just turned into a marketing exercise anyway.

So, what was meaningful no longer is. And nobody wants to talk about this, because nobody wants to look old. Speaking of which…if you watch the doc and you’re not convinced to foreswear plastic surgery… I won’t even mention the names. But if you go under the knife you never know the exact result you’re going to get. Sometimes it doesn’t even look like you, sometimes you even look like a freak. And it’s all about you, because the rest of us know how old you are, I mean who do you think you’re fooling?

And there’s all this talk about experiences being the holy grail these days. And that’s true. Although today people exhibit their travels, their adventures, as a badge of honor. Like we’re keeping score. When the best experiences are personal, you have an inner mounting flame that you can always return to, that you can never explain to anybody else, but it’s palpable.

So at the end of the doc…

“And Diana Ross stayed after everybody was gone.

And I hear her crying.

Quincy said, ‘Diana, are you okay?’

And she’s like ‘I don’t want this to be over.'”

I came home from Camp Laurelwood at the end of August, 1965. It was a rainy day, and my mother walked in on me crying in my bedroom. She asked me what was the matter. I said I wanted to go back to camp, I missed my friends.

My mother was logical, she told me camp was closed, there was nothing to go back to. But that feeling, of being with your buddies 24/7…

Actually, that’s the great thing about being with other people, together for so long. You can get along with anybody. Sometimes there’s one a-hole who can’t stop alienating everybody, but usually the humanity of each individual exudes and you connect. Doesn’t matter where you went to school, how smart you are, you relate as a human being. And it’s the most powerful feeling. I always tell people my favorite moment in life was back in May of ’75, living in Mammoth Lakes, skiing at the mountain each and every day. I was living with six other people I hardly knew, but over the weeks we became the best of friends, lifelong friends. And the funny thing is whenever we get together everyone else testifies that May was the highlight of their life too.

I could tell you what happened, the experiences. But you’ve got similar ones. Being in a group of people.

This is one of the things that alienated me from marijuana. It isolated you, whereas drink made you voluble, you could do it together. But I did too much of that.

But that togetherness… It’s elusive. And it can’t exactly be manufactured. And it almost always happens on a lark, when you’re not sure you want to commit. It’s when you do what you’re not sure you want to that you have the greatest experiences of life.

So I don’t know Diana Ross. But she doesn’t come across as a star in this movie, but as a person. And the stars are, people, that is. And if you don’t know them, if you’re not introduced to them, they’ve got their guard way up, they don’t want anything to do with you, they’ve had too many bad experiences. But you can become a friend with one of these stars, to the degree they’re capable of it. Yes, most of these stars are flawed, that’s why they’re stars, they need acknowledgement, there’s a hole they’re trying to fill, that ironically can never be filled. Well-adjusted people don’t become artists, it’s too difficult, too isolating. But under all that, Diana still feels what we do. The loss. Of community. Of a great experience. That will never happen again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever meet her. Not that big of a stretch. But if I do, I know I can mention this moment in the movie, the experience she had that night, and we can bond over the feeling.

Great movies give you these moments, these feelings. That’s what art is about. That’s why I don’t understand the fascination with superhero movies. Maybe a great ride, but I wouldn’t want to go to Disneyland every day, even once a year. I’m looking for something deeper.

And that’s what so many of the people in this doc provided in their music. They dug down deep and revealed elements of themselves, they opened themselves to us and we connected with them, what they were saying. Sure, there was fame. But the fame came second. There were not brand extensions. You didn’t sell out, no one even thought of that. The Fortune 500 was anathema.

Billy Joel… Looks like a guy you went to elementary school with, who you’ve run into all these years later. He’s not concerned with image. And Huey Lewis is constantly thinking he’s not worthy.

The film supersedes the song.

If I’d written the previous missive last night it would have been much more comprehensive, much better. Because I could have captured the moment. And I could have done it, but it would have ruined today, I’d have never gotten to sleep, I wouldn’t have had that great day on the mountain.

But I’m kind of pissed I didn’t. Because what I wrote was pedestrian.

But I just wanted to tell you about this moment in the movie.

It meant so much to me.

The Greatest Night In Pop

Netflix trailer: https://shorturl.at/nCEGZ

I wasn’t going to watch this, because I hate the song.

Well, “hate” is a strong word. If it hadn’t been ubiquitous I wouldn’t be so against it, then again its ubiquity added to the coffers for the cause, and as Springsteen says at the end, ultimately it’s not about the aesthetics of the song, but the good that is being done.

But my inbox was going wild. People kept telling me they watched and loved it. And good friends in iMessage too.

So I caved.

And I’m glad I did.

I can’t say there’s an external buzz. Sure, there was hype when the doc launched, but it’s not like there’s been a steady stream of stories, it’s not like the film has been pushed down our throats.

That was the last century, just like this movie.

And that’s the modern paradigm. Hype is almost always useless. It’s about quality, having that certain je ne sais quoi that gets people telling others about it. I’m now a member of a club, of those who’ve seen the doc. I guarantee my inbox will go further wild with others who’ve seen the movie, establishing a sense of community.

That’s how you do it in 2024.

That’s not how you did it in 1984.

That was when acts were giants, bigger than ever before. Dinosaurs might have roamed the earth in the sixties and seventies, but the eighties were different. Because of MTV. Around the world. We all knew the same hits and furthermore we knew what the stars looked like, even Quincy Jones. Quick, pick Andrew Watt out of a lineup, even Max Martin. Almost no one can do it. But Q…

And Q is the ringmaster here, who organizes the session and keeps it going. Because first and foremost this is a recording, this is work.

Yes, when the sun has already risen, not that anybody inside the studio knows, it’s no longer glamorous. This is their job. Singing and getting it right. And it’s boring and oftentimes elusive. You’re doing the same thing over and over again, trying to nail it. This is what it is like when the cameras are off. Behind the scenes. Although the cameras were on during this session.

Ken Kragen put it together. Ken was a visionary, but every act ultimately left him, because they wanted to be in control, they ultimately didn’t want to do it Ken’s way. And not a single one of them had the same level of success thereafter. Whether it be Gallagher, Travis Tritt, Kenny Rogers or Lionel Richie himself.

There’s a lot to learn in this doc, it’s not only nostalgia. Lionel went solo and Ken said no one knew what he looked like, and got Lionel’s visage everywhere. Yes, Ken was a master planner. A true old school manager. Sure, he had a Harvard MBA, but his skills were innate. There’s no school for managers, you can’t learn the skills, either you have them or you don’t. Ken even had another worldwide event planned before he died. He told me about it constantly.

So Ken and Harry Belafonte… I don’t want to ruin it, but when everybody spontaneously sings “Day-O,” it’s magical.

And Lionel calls Stevie… Who never gets back to him. So Lionel writes “We Are the World” with Michael Jackson, and the song suffers for it.

As for Stevie…during the session he insists there be Swahili in the song. This is artists. They have visions, opinions, they’re strong-willed, and they’re hard to get along with. However, it’s these qualities that make them successful. But putting them all together in one room?

You build it and then they come. No star will commit until another star commits, then they all want in.

Cyndi Lauper is at the advent of her fame, straight out of Ozone Park. Not the wise septuagenarian she is today.

Springsteen is reveling in the success of “Born in the U.S.A.”

Everybody is peaking, and everybody is there. Well, for a while anyway. Waylon leaves when Stevie runs on about the Swahili, believing his audience won’t be able to relate. And he was right, stars know their audience, intimately, and they stay true to them…or lose their stardom.

To see Sheila E. wake up and realize she’s only involved because they want Prince… That’s showbiz, it’s about using people. Everything is evanescent, no one can be trusted, if you’re not thinking about yourself you’re going to be taken advantage of.

You’ll nearly cry during this extravaganza. You’ll remember when. When everybody knew all the hits. Just before MTV changed, became about how you looked, when videos became expensive films instead of larks. When music ruled the world.

I don’t know what a young person will say about “The Greatest Night in Pop,” but if you lived through it, if you were there, you’ll be enraptured, nearly stunned, taken away to a different time that is baked into your DNA, that you know so well, even if you don’t think about it on a regular basis.

I know the world only goes forward. I know that to expect today’s music world to have the energy and power of the past is ridiculous.

But I remember when.

And it’s captured in this film.

You should watch it.

Mailbag

From: Robert Fripp

Dear Bob,

Thank you for the review of Toby Amies’ documentary. Which wasn’t much about KC, but it did show that if Music is your aim, it is a life or death undertaking.

Vb, Robert

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Subject: Toby Keith – An American Hero

I thought you may appreciate this:

Toby Keith was an artist I worked with that left such an  impression on me. He did more for our troops than quite possibly any single entertainer or athlete ever. Dozens of shows each year for decades. Constantly on the road entertaining and visiting troops around the world and he told no one. When I suggested to his Mgr. T.K. Kimbrell, that Toby needed to tell the world he said that’s not why Toby does it and that he intentionally told no one.  He did it because he truly cared.

He performed for Bush and Obama. And then he was the only iconic artist with the courage to perform at Trump’s Presidential gala when no one else would and he took a lot of heat for it which perplexed him. His Mgr told me Toby believed he had no right to turn down a request from any standing President. That it was about respect for the office. Toby was a true Patriot who stood by his convictions.

When I pitched Toby to do a Wounded Warrior TV spot he refused to take any money. And when we needed a place to shoot the spot he said, “use my ranch in Oklahoma” and then paid for the entire production team to go to Oklahoma for the shoot. He picked up the tab so it actually cost him $$$s to do the Wounded Warrior partnership.

On the day of the shoot I was tasked w introducing Toby to the wounded vets who would be in the TV spot. As I’m making the intros I realize that one single teardrop was running down the side of his face as he was speaking to the warriors, He had turned his head in a way so no one would see it. But I saw it. That was a powerful moving moment I’ll remember forever. For a guy with such a rough exterior he was a real softy. A modest reluctant hero. Rest in peace Toby!

Bruce J. MacKenzie

JMacK Entertainment

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Subject: Re: More Melanie

I saw Melanie at the Isle of Wight when I had the doors on the bill.  They  played  a subdued set that night (the first show after the infamous Miami trial) right in front of the Who and the Who were just beyond that night.  There were reputedly 300,000 people there and the Who were bringing large pieces of covered equipment on stage all afternoon it seemed. No one knew what it was but when the set got to “I Can See For Miles” about 10 aircraft carrier landing lights made daylight for the whole crowd and they went wild.  Then Melanie came out with her acoustic guitar and I pitied her following that amazing performance…but I was wrong!  She got the audience on her side and had a fantastic show.

I learned a few lessons that night.

Bill Siddons

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Subject: Re: Musicares

I have been fortunate to work with Jason numerous times and all I can say is he’s one of the best out there. I don’t just mean on the guitar. He’s a full student of the greats and like Questlove knows details of modern music history to nerd level. When we produced Mavis Staples star studded 80th birthday events a few years back in NYC, Nashville, and LA on three consecutive Wednesday’s, Isbell was the only one who made it to all three shows, alone, on his own dime to play one lead, on one song. Because, well, Mavis. Go listen/watch Isbell bring up David Crosby at Newport to play “Ohio” or “Masters of War” with Warren Hayes, Lukas Nelson, and Jonathan Wilson. He walks the walk, so it’s no surprise he landed the best song Bon Jovi for the show. 

He’s seen a million faces and he’s rocked them all

-Jay Sweet

Newport Folk

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From: Eric Carmen

Subject: Berlin Finale

Hi Bob, 

Thank you for kind words.

“ Boats” was my most personal work and of all of my albums,  means the most to me. 

Not many people know that I wrote every song in the order I wanted them to appear on the album…the order I wanted them heard ..to tell a story (my story).  However, the record company reversed the order against my will.  Not sure if it will make a difference to you, but if you start with the last track and go in reverse, you will hear that story . 

Happy New Year and all the best to you in 2024. 

Peace,

Eric

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Subject: Re: Final Berlin

Even though I played bass on Eric’s first solo album, I listen to Boats much more often. So rich in imagery and personal emotion.

“Love is all that matters” is my favorite Eric Carmen song. It even made my (pre-planned) Celebration of Life event soundtrack!

Stephen Knill

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Subject: Re: Emergency Root Canal

Hey Bob-

So sorry to hear about your nightmarish dental issues. Tooth pain totally sucks, and top-notch dental care is expensive. But ask anyone who has lost a bunch of teeth – it’s worth it.

Many times during my teaching and consulting I’ve encountered dental staff members who had trouble justifying the cost of the services they were providing because they felt it was out of their own price range. So I would ask them this:

“Knowing what you know now, would you accept $10,000 for me to numb you up and remove one of your teeth?” No one with any decent level of experience working in a dental practice would ever say yes.

Dr. Richard Madow

Co-Founder, The Madow Center For Dental Practice Success

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From: William Mondi

Subject: Late….but so was Madonna

Bob

I know I’m late on this.  She played 7 dates in Chicago on Her Madame X tour.

Ticket start time was 10:30.  She went on around midnight.

By mid-run, they were papering the house.. which is how I got my free 8th row center seat.

I’m was born in 53 like you.  Her crowd is much more in our ballpark age wise than not.  A third of the audience was gone well before it ended around 2.

I’m also surprised that She didn’t get any flack for dragging Her younger kids on to the stage in the middle of the night.

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From: Michael Hosking

Subject: Re: Re-Madonna Lawsuit

Many years ago I was involved in bring OASIS to Bangkok. The band’s notoriety only eclipsed by the crazy traffic in Bangkok.

At five minutes to show time the sold-out venue was barely half full. The PM buzzed in and asked if the show should be delayed. Liam asked ‘Why?’ I mumbled the usual excuses about traffic, rain, distance to venue and fans coming late because the artist start late. He asked if this was the first time the venue had presented a show, if it’s the only day it rained in Bangkok and if it was the only day traffic was bad. I explained the answer was ‘No’ to all of those questions. He said “We’re Oasis – we play to the fans who have made the effort to be on time!” (expletives excluded) and on he and Noel went. Incredible show. Some fans turned up an hour late just in time for the encore…

My level of respect for the two ‘bad boys’ of Manchester soared sky high!

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From: Thomas Gribbin

Subject: Re: Madonna Lawsuit

Bob,

2 hours late…lawsuit? The last Lauryn Hill concert I promoted she was still in the hotel at that time. After 3 hours I had to make some refunds. But no lawsuit. 

I don’t know why I’m laughing, but my whole team still gets a kick out of it.

Tom

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From: Michael McCarty

Subject: Re: Burton Cummings-This Week’s Podcast

Hi Bob

 

Burton Cummings is one of my heroes who along with his band and producer Jack Richardson, inspired me to realize that as a Canadian I could maybe find a way to be in the music business. 

 

A couple of things to expand on what Burton said:

 

1. To develop the Guess Who, Jack Richardson quit his job as music director at the McCann Erickson ad agency in Toronto,  started Nimbus 9 Productions, and then mortgaged his house to pay for the Wheatfield Soul album.

2. It initially bombed, and to save the project (thus his house & career) he convinced a couple of friends at the agency to invest in Nimbus 9 so he could hire an indie promo person to keep working These Eyes after RCA gave up on it.

3. The indie promo person convinced Rosalie Trombley, MD at CKLW in Windsor to go on the record. Though situated in Canada, CKLW’s real market was Detroit, and Rosalie was one of the most influential MDs in US AM radio. It took off in her market, and the rest is history.

4. In the early ‘80s Burton heard that Jack’s company was in difficulty, tracked him down, and bought the band’s publishing back.

5. As you know, Jack mentored Bob Ezrin and arranged for him to produce Alice Cooper’s breakthrough album  “Love It To Death”. In those days, most producers were staff A&R people at labels, and after Bob’s career took off, for a while arguably the two hottest producers in the world were Jack Richardson and Bob Ezrin @ Nimbus 9.

I believe unshakably that everything good that’s happened with Canadian music in the last four or five decades can be traced back to the Guess Who’s success. They were the Big Bang of Canadian music. 

 

Best,

 

M

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From: Justine Fields

Subject: Re: December

Hey Bob,

I’m 36 and grew up in New York on Long Island. My husband is also 36 and grew up in the UK outside of Oxford. We are both music people. I just played him “Shine” and “December” and asked if he’d ever heard either. His answer to both were decisive “no, I’ve never heard this song.”

We just looked it up and “Shine” only made it to 80 on the UK charts and “December” never charted at all.

This happens more frequently than you’d imagine! A song that I believe everyone in my generation knows every word to will come on the radio or be playing in a CVS and he’s never heard it because it never made it anywhere in the UK. It happened last month with Third Eye Blind’s “How’s it going to be”. Only made it to 51 in the UK charts he didn’t recognize a note. Crazy, huh?

So as ubiquitous as these songs were, and as pervasive as MTV made music, it was still only in the US, and maybe Canada? Just wanted to share how jaw dropping it is every time I find a major hit that was played a zillion times in my life and that my UK-raised husband has never heard. Both of these Collective Soul songs shockingly fall into that category.

Justine

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From: Jay Aymar

Subject: Re: Re-Promotion

Bob,

As a lifelong touring singer songwriter up in Canada who quit when Covid struck, you couldn’t be more RIGHT!

A Gen Xer who built a small career and toured all day every day, I realized in about 2015 I was playing the game entirely wrong. Discouraging live videos at performances; not playing the social media game correctly; releasing full length albums every two years etc…

Oh but I had great reviews from legacy publications…

Yeah that moved the needle.

As Dangerfield once quipped “To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.”

In other words, from a bonafide hardcore troubadour who spent years in the trenches, let me assure you Peter Gabriel fans out there: The dream is over. What can I say? The dream was over yesterday.

Now, where’s my remote, I have to finish FERRY.

Jay Aymar

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Subject: Re: The Gary Gulman Comedy Special

Gary Gulman is more interested in speaking to a core base receptive to his outlook, as opposed to playing the “How do I get more popular?” game most of today’s comics play. While his contemporaries play arenas, he’s content sticking with a 600-seat PAC and doesn’t push promoters to go big. I know this because I’m promoting two of his shows this month in relatively obscure California venues. He’s already sold out a Jewish Community Center in La Jolla, and will do the same in Santa Barbara at the Lobero Theatre. Every time I pitch to his agent “let’s try this 1200-seater, I think he can fill it,” I’m met with resistance. Which is fine! And somewhat refreshing, truth be told. He’s the real deal and will probably be happily playing PACs to a devoted audience for the rest of his life because of his measured approach.

Brian Martin

San Francisco

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From: Michael Wijnen

Subject: Re: Everything’s Inviolate

Thank you- very well said.

Same thing here in France.

My daughter went to see three different stand-up artists last week, each of them filling up 3500 seaters: I never heard of any of them, even though I read Le Monde every day, follow the news on radio and TV- but not Facebook or Insta…

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From: Rich Levy

Subject: Re: Everything’s Inviolate

Hey bob,

Interesting as always and I very much agree with your points about the dissolution of the mono-culture. I think where people get a little confused is when they see an artist like Taylor having more live demand than artists from an earlier era. The missing context is that in the 1960 the world’s population was 3 billion and the US pop was about 180 million. Today, the world population is over 8 billion and the US over 335 million. So a huge artist may have a niche that by % of population is much smaller than in eras past, but in terms of absolute numbers unadjusted for population growth, may seem bigger than ever.

2 cents. Love the writing.

R

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Subject: RE: Everything’s Inviolate

Hi Bob,

 

Did you see the streaming analysis by Luminate?

They have data on 184 million tracks ( how many has anybody actually heard?).

Of these ~25% were never listened to in 2023! 46million tracks, posted but not listened to!

It gets worse. Nearly 50% of the tracks in their system – 80 million, were listened to 10 times or less.

 

Too much noise, not enough traffic.  If you want to make music in ’24 it needs to be good, and you need an audience.

 

Thanks for the newsletters!

 

Kind Regards

 

Crispin Herrod-Taylor

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Subject: powder days

Bob-

Your comments about powder days reminded me of a recent trip to Stevens Pass in Washington.  It was a powder day (or what passes for powder in the Pacific Northwest), and before the lifts opened I was sitting in the lodge looking at a long line of 20-somethings outside in line waiting for the lift to open that would get them to the backside fastest.  Then I looked around inside at the skiers just chilling out and waiting for the lines to abate.  We were all guys about 55 or older.  Been there, done that.  Not really worth the trouble.

Mark Gorman

Seattle

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Subject: Re: Covid

Thanks Bob,hope you get better.You made me test myself with an at home kit.Positive.If not for you…….Stay,or rather get,well,Ted Keane

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Subject: Re: Weekend TV

Hi Bob,

My wife and I have a 20-year-old son who is on the spectrum. He was nonverbal until the age of five, but is currently attending Drexel University in Philadelphia, studying civil engineering.  He is knocking it out of the park with academics. However,  halfway through his sophomore year still has absolutely no friends… It is not for a lack of effort and support. This is by far the hardest part for us as parents.  Add in that we are 1,430 miles away (Find My tells us the exact distance, we can be a bit obsessive checking to see where he is.) living in Austin, Texas and the sense of helplessness for his social life can feel overwhelming.

Don’t get me wrong, my son is an amazing success story. We burst with pride at his journey.  If you had told me when he was nonverbal at 5 that 15 years later he would not only be living independently, but carrying a 3.66 GPA in a challenging major at an elite school… Well, let’s just say I probably wouldn’t have taken that bet.

I am sure that Love on the Spectrum is a heartwarming show for some. However there’s absolutely no way my wife or myself could ever watch it… When you live it every day, there’s no way you can turn on the TV and live it even more.  Plus, they’re gonna show you way more happy endings than exist in real life… You know they’re going to.

We have not given up hope. As parents you embrace the role of Sisyphus.  We are going to keep pushing the rock of social interaction up the hill no matter how many times it rolls back down on top of us.  Unlike the Greek Myth, we believe we’re gonna get the rock to the other side of the mountain one day. It’s one of the many things that keeps us pushing the rock back up the mountain!

By the way, for any other parents out there who have kids on the spectrum heading to University, make sure that your University of choice has robust autism support.  The Drexel CAN (Center for Autism and Neurodiversity) program is phenomenal, And one of the major reasons why we allowed him to attend university so far away from us.   Any parent or caregiver can contact me at and I’d be happy to share any information/experiences about spectrum kiddos heading to college.

Eric Frankhouser

Tour Manager

Wilco/Jeff Tweedy

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From: Mike Lawson

Subject: Re: Weekend TV

 

Autism dad, of 30 year old woman with ASD, her mom fled from us a decade ago, and is not in her life except an annual text or her birthday, or Christmas, maybe. I care for my princess, now with my amazing new wife Shannon. Thank god for Shannon, and my daugher’s full time personal assistant who works in our home 40 hours a week the past five years now, so I can focus on work.

My wife watches the show, I can’t, it hurts, it is too close to home, too big a reminder that my daughter is not on that level, even though she is oh-so verbal, and higher of this spectrum than many others we know, she will never hold a job, drive a car, balance a checkbook. If she has $10 dollars she thinks she can buy ten items.

Over many years I have seen her heartbreaking obessions with imaginary relationships because the part of her that understands really wants that love, but she is living in an arrested development that will never let her have that “normal.” It fucking kills me, Bob. Every. Day. I work hard to be grateful she is as functional as she is in this world, but also recoil at the reality TV creation of entertainment around something so fucking personal, something I have wept over, fight fought her for, and will to my last breath. I learned the alpabet soup of IDEA, ADA, FAPE, went to battle like a warrior against a school system I had to sue when she was in highschool on her behalf (we won, it cost the a lot for make it right, not in our pockets, but legal bills nearly six figures between ours and the school systems).

I get why people want to watch, and all autistics are different, but for me it has been 27 years of mourning that she will never have that life, obsessive concern, love and care, and always worrying about her never being hurt when I’m gone some day. I’m sure you understand. I just can’t. It hurts. Watch it, enjoy it, no judgment. I can’t. I just can’t. I will never be over this. I will worry until my dying breath about my princess Kelly.

Mike Lawson

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From: Andrew Oldham

Subject: Re: Kanye/Osbourne/Summer

One of ozzy’s early jobs was making meat kosher….

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From: Tom Overby

Subject: Re: Kanye/Osbourne/Summer

Bob – To paraphrase Neil Young, “even Ozzy Osbourne has got soul”