Do you correct the cashier when he makes a mistake in your favor?

My father enjoyed petty theft.  I remember seeing him carrying his ski boots with this bungee-cord contraption, and when I asked him where he got it, he said "I liberated it from Wendy’s!", the ski shop in Manchester, Vermont where he’d dropped untold thousands of dollars.

And I can’t say I was that far off the mark.  I remember changing the price on a doormat at the five and dime in Burlington during college.  Yup, I thought that would be cool, to have one of those plastic doormats at the entrance of my dorm room.  The sticker said 79 cents, but I exchanged it for one on a cheaper model, that said 45 cents.  The cashier was none the wiser.

But then when I was in law school, in a big department store buying a robe with my girlfriend, I was caught by the cashier, this was a twenty dollar robe, not a sixteen buck one like the box said.

I played dumb, but my girlfriend didn’t believe it.  She was not conspiratorial, she was incredulous.  Had I changed the price?

Well, the robe was box-less, and I inserted it in this empty box…

After that I gave up bending the rules.

Oh, the big bad man who owned the department store was making millions, I was a struggling student.  But the disapproval of my girlfriend, that was too much.  And when I was sworn into the California Bar, I gave up petty theft for good.  Shit, I don’t even remember walking into another theatre in the multiplex after that, even though I’d been known to see three movies on a good day.  "Theft of Services", that’s what they called it.  I didn’t want to get busted.

But what if the store fucked up?  What if it wasn’t my fault?

I bought a pair of hiking boots at A16.  They were having a Memorial Day sale, the boots were one third off, they were $120.

Good deal, except they were a little snug in the forefoot.

But the wider ones, they were TWO HUNDRED BUCKS!  For day hikers?  That would last eighteen months at most?

The salesman assured me the $120 ones would break in just fine.

But when I told the story to Felice, she rolled her eyes.  She felt that fit was foremost.  Then again, money’s not her issue.

I waited for my emotions to calm down.  I waited until I returned from the east coast.  And then I tried on the hiking boots in the privacy of my own home.  They WERE too tight in the forefoot.  And pondering hours of hiking in discomfort, I resolved to return to A16 and exchange them.  Which I did today.

But when I got up to the counter, the cashier told me I owed $20 and change.  This wasn’t right.  Shouldn’t the difference be $80 AND CHANGE?

The dude was a doofus, he was clueless.

And the store, it’s vast.  But it was empty.  SOMEBODY was carrying all that inventory.

I told him I didn’t think he was right.

He thought he was.  But then, after doing a bit more study, he saw that I had purchased the first pair on sale, and that the difference wasn’t between the two retail prices, but the one sale price and the full price of the second pair of boots.

He called over his superior, she reset the cash register, and the dude processed my eighty dollar plus bill.

I was flummoxed.  I just lost a gig worth a ton of money.  Well, not the entire gig, but 5/6ths of it.  The difference in price was significant.  And this dude, he didn’t even THANK ME!

But I knew if I’d walked out of the store, the tell-tale heart would get me.  I wouldn’t be able to get my "deal" out of my head.  If I slipped and fell on the trail, I’d blame it on bad karma.

So I’m comfortable in my choice.  But I feel a little bit like a wimp.  It was their ignorance, this guy never would have paid a price.  I paid the price.  And what were they losing, their profit?  Through stupidity?

What would YOU do?

Did you know Tim McGraw was good?

I had to drive from Santa Monica to Hollywood.  During RUSH HOUR!

I hear traffic is hell just about everywhere these days.  Just know that ours is even worse.  I’d like to tell you I could walk faster, but as you well know, NOBODY WALKS IN L.A!

To listen to the same damn rock and roll for an hour plus, I just wasn’t up to it.  So I decided on a project.  I’d work my way up the Sirius dial, all the way from Channel 1 to INFINITY!

Maybe it was just my mood, but even the rap sounded good.  Really, listen to alternative rock for a while and ANYTHING will sound good.  What happened to all these skinny little white boys that they have to whine over their tinny guitars?  Who’d want to fuck these pencil-dick people?  You want to know why people constantly say rock is dead?  LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!  Or the imitation metal.  Rock is so far from its home base, so far off target, so far from three chords and a chorus, so far from honesty and/or comprehensibility, it’s a wonder we can sell it at all.

Really, Ice-T had some interesting shit to say.  But he’s no longer a rapper, he’s a TV star.  Seems like everybody in rap wants to be somebody else.  It’s a lifestyle for the listener, but for the act?  It’s just a stepping stone to further riches.  I wore my do-rag in the car for about ten minutes, but then that was enough, I moved even further up the dial.

And it’s not easy on Sirius.  Because it takes so damn long for the titles to show up.  And then, you’ve got to cycle through the titles and the channel name.  I mean if you don’t know the music, how in the fuck would you know who did it?  I’m constantly pushing the button, feeling like I’m living in the twentieth century, before I expected to get it all, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Some of the stations are confusing.  Is the R&B crooner the anomaly on the rap channel, or is this a whole new category?

But you know when you hear shit-kickin’ music, you can hear the cowboy hat through the dashboard.

But when I was growing up, country music had a twang.  It was so far from Top Forty that it was referred to as "Hillbilly Music".  And believe me, there are no hillbillies north of the Mason/Dixon line.  But this stuff…  It ALMOST sounds like rock.  The rock that USED TO BE!

Unlike the hip-hop, there are real instruments.  And melodies.

And unlike the new rock, the structure is basic, verses and choruses, modulations up the scale.  Actually, listen for a few days and that’s what bugs you, the lack of INNOVATION!  If rock were country, Yes never would have followed the Beatles, never mind Jimi Hendrix.

But within this framework…there’s a whole WORLD!

Oh, I made it all the way up the Sirius dial, to the traffic reports.  Listened to the weather in Boston.  But as I drove down Sunset Boulevard, just past the Beverly Hills Hotel, my research done, I went back to Channel 60, "New Country".

And every one of them words rang true and glowed like burnin’ coal, pourin’ off of every page like it was written from me to you, but I was not tangled up in blue, I was laughing, I was alive, I was ECSTATIC!  This was a joy I hadn’t experienced in oh-so-long!

But I don’t know shit about country.  Maybe this is the crap.  Maybe this is the stuff those deep into it rail about.  Then I realized, I was the target audience, I was fucking IGNORANT!

And I tried to switch the station.  Tried to leave the Sirius country ghetto.

But I couldn’t.  Rock no longer appealed.

Oh, I spent some time at Channel 63, Outlaw Country, which oftentimes seems to truly be more rock than country, but I kept on coming back to New Country, Channel 60, day after day.  Because it was fun to be on the pulse, of SOMETHING!

But I wasn’t going to write about it until I heard this Brad Paisley song on the radio today, "Ticks".

I hate Brad Paisley on principle.  How did this wimp score Kimberly Williams?  And is that REALLY his name?  And if so, why didn’t he CHANGE IT?  To be known as a fabric design?

But this song.  It has this one line…

It really didn’t register until the second time through the chorus.  And one thing about country choruses, after the song is done, they’re embedded in your brain, you’re still singing them when you get out of the car, they’re with you FOREVER!  Anyway, the second time I heard this line, I cracked up…

I’ll set you up from the beginning.  Of the chorus anyway…

Cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I’d like to check you for ticks

Utterly hysterical!  That’s me!  I like to be playful, a little rough, I want to wrestle you down and inspect every inch of you.  I want to check you for TICKS!

How the hell did he come up with this?  This is the kind of creativity we USED to have in rock.  What a great concept.  Yup honey, I’m gonna pull down your pants, make sure nothing’s burrowed in your skin!  And after I do, I’m gonna put something in YOU!

I felt like I was five.  Before there was a difference in the sexes, playing doctor in the backyard.

And after stopping to buy something, I heard Big & Rich’s "Comin’ To Your City".  The guitars are rollickin’, there’s an enthusiasm, it sounds like…WE’RE AN AMERICAN BAND?  Or maybe Tesla’s "Comin’ Atcha Live"!

Well we’re comin’ to your city
Gonna play our guitars and sing you a country song
We’ll all be flyin’ higher than a jet airliner
And if you wanna little bang in your ying yang come along__

Well we flew through Cincinnati
And we all got really happy
Grabbed a bowl of that skyline chili along the way
Then we rolled on into Kansas
Scared the hell our of Marilyn Manson
And the party started happenin’
Hey hey hey

That’s what rock bands do.  They get in their buses, pile their shit into big airliners, and set out across this great big country of ours.  You buy your tickets in your sleepy little burg months in advance.  And the day of the show, you leave work early.  You get high in the car on the way to the gig, drink beer in the parking lot.  And when the band hits the stage, you’re happier than a housewife getting a Pontiac on OPRAH!

But this isn’t a rock band.

But they’re talking about Marilyn Manson!

Oh, you’ve got to wade through the right wing crap.  Christianity and the family.  But, at least they’re singing about their reality.  As opposed to the rockers rhyming metaphors incomprehensible to laymen.  They’re singing about LIFE!  You’ve got a life, DON’T YOU!

And there’s sad stuff, like Jake Owen’s "Starting With Me".  A tear in your beer lament similar to what we used to think country music was.  But mixed in with all this modern rock-oriented stuff, the truth of the lyrics, the mood, it breaks through, it rings true.

And the joy in Terri Clark’s "Dirty Girl"…  It’s not that different from Brad Paisley’s elation over checking his honey for ticks.

I mean who would you rather fuck?  Some skinny pierced and tattooed skank screaming about how life sucks or Terri Clark?  A woman?

I had to endure Toby Keith’s ode to the American soldier.  God, is country radio propaganda?  People hear this shit and line right up behind the Republicans, hating Hillary and Bill Maher.  Fuck right wing talk radio, COUNTRY radio has a constituency unrivaled in the rock OR rap world.  Furthermore, alternative rockers and hip-hop fans DON’T VOTE!

And country radio has a base.  People actually listen.  It’s still the heartbeat of the community.  The way AOR was way back when.

But the kingpin is Tim McGraw.  Being Sirius, being the land of repeats, every other song seems to be by Tim McGraw.  But, like I told you above, he’s good!  It’s like every other song in the early seventies being by Led Zeppelin…  Got a problem with that?

191. Bow Wow "Price Of Fame"

Sales this week: 3,688
Cume: 523,426

I guess he’s no longer that lil’.

Usually they grow up and no one cares.  Startlingly, they still care about (Lil’) Bow Wow.

189. All-American Rejects "Move Along"

Sales this week: 3,709
Cume: 1,890,413

On the surface, this appears to be a GARGANTUAN number considering today’s sales figures.  But then one discovers it was released almost two years ago, on July 12, 2005.

How come we can’t sell tonnage anymore?  Is it the splintering of the audience?  The lack of attention to radio?  The lack of music on MTV?  The raw quality?

All of these.

But first and foremost it’s a refusal to monetize acquisition.  Demand didn’t suddenly go down.  NO ONE who’s released an album this year has hit this sales figure.  Is ALL music suddenly crap?  No, I’d say most people are getting their music via P2P, disc burning or hard drive swapping.  Is putting DRM on the tracks of PAYING customers solving the problem?  OF COURSE NOT!  You don’t deal with the criminals by limiting the rights of those who are playing by the rules.  It’s just that the rules must encompass everybody.  Don’t make stealing harder, monetize the theft.

188. Joan Osbourne "Joan Osbourne: Breakfast In Bed"

Sales this week: 3,711
Cume: 8,246

This is what happens when you don’t write the hit material.

Odds are Eric Bazilian could have more chart success than Ms. Osbourne, after all, he’s the one who wrote ONE OF US!

187. "Jersey Boys"

Sales this week: 3,720
Cume: 324,391

Wow, this number stunned me.  For an original Broadway cast album, of a play that JUST opened in L.A?  How many people have SEEN this frickin’ thing?

But, the material is killer.

Then again, why isn’t a Four Seasons compilation selling?

Wow, IT IS!  Whereas the original cast album is #107 at Amazon, "The Very Best of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons" is at #63!

Warms my heart, puts a smile on my face.  I still remember listening to those tunes on the jukebox at the Nutmeg Bowl back in ’64.  My favorite?  "Dawn (Go Away)"!  But how about Frankie’s vocal in "Rag Doll"…  "I’d turn her sad rags into GLAD rags if I could…"

181. Tony Bennett "Duets: American Classic"

Sales this week: 3,929
Cume: 1,507,067

Release novelty records, DUETS records, in the fourth quarter.

If not a Christmas release?  A fraction of these sales.

174. Kings Of Leon "Because Of The Times"

Sales this week: 4,119
Cume: 103,437

In the top five of ALL acts I get e-mail about.  A rabid fan base.  But the records just don’t justify a bigger career, not yet.  They’ve yet to make that record that blows them up.  I’m thinking they never will.

161. Shins "Wincing The Night Away"

Sales this week: 4,555
Cume: 406,333

Whoever said press doesn’t sell records…

Thinking people read, they read about the Shins.

This is a fucking fantastic number.  And I don’t think SNL was the key force.  This was a record to believe in, when nothing else fit the bill.

159. Relient K "Five Score & Seven Years Ago"

Sales this week: 4,603
Cume: 138,689

No wonder they closed down Capitol.  You can’t make your numbers on this figure.  Oh, it could continue to sell, but doesn’t the hard core fan base buy the record IMMEDIATELY?  And isn’t this band all about the hard core fan base?  Then again, is this the target demo for THEFT?

151. Gerald Levert "In My Songs"

Sales this week: 4,817
Cume: 387,083

Death doesn’t always sell records.

147. Silversun Pickups "Carnavas"

Sales this week: 5,129
Cume: 169,802

Sales don’t quite equal the hype, but this is a record and an act that hasn’t peaked yet.

142. Celtic Woman "New Journey"

Sales this week: 5,210
Cume: 394,562

Wasn’t touring supposed to sell records?  Didn’t you release one and then go on the road to move units?  This record came out gangbusters, but has faded to a whimper, and doesn’t appear that it will be revived.

In other words, Celtic Woman is not the new Enya, at least not yet.  Someone whose records sell FOREVER!

140. Arctic Monkeys "Favourite Worst Nightmare"

Sales this week: 5,261
Cume: 95,368

Obviously not too many people’s favorite…

They’re officially over, they will never break through in America.  Another English hype bites the dust.

138. Jackson/Strait/Buffett "Live At Texas Stadium"

Sales this week: 5,287
Cume: 157,796

Who thought this was a good idea?

133. The National "Boxer"

Sales this week: 5,404
Cume: 14,976

On the bubble.  Will this gain traction or fade away, not exactly into oblivion, but cultdom?

A real buzz about this act, but with nowhere for most people to hear it, or hear about it if they’re not hipsters, the record just can’t get traction.

115. Brandi Carlile "The Story"

Sales this week: 6,336
Cume: 85,597

Not the new KT, certainly not the new Corinne Bailey Rae.

Corinne Bailey Rae made cocktail music, guaranteed not to piss anybody off without a tattoo.  KT is a true innovator.  Brandi Carlile?  Well, she’s NICE!

Not gonna happen.

107. "Once"

Sales this week: 6,565
Cume: 10,016

If this were a band, I’d applaud the marketing.  This movie is SO hot.

I went on Labor Day and got CLOSED OUT!  The people in front of us bought the last tickets.

Things used to build.  The public sold it.  "Once" might be undercapitalized, but those who have seen it will not let the movie die.  This is the future of music.  Much more than some hip-hop record with electronic handclaps.

104. Mika "Life In Cartoon Motion"

Sales this week: 6,888
Cume: 129,768

Could he be too cute?
This still could blow up here, most people just aren’t familiar enough yet.

82. Hilary Duff "Dignity"

Sales this week: 8,244
Cume: 287,097

Isn’t it a fucked up world where this blond teenager gets to employ this title, since SO MANY OF HER CONTEMPORARIES ARE SO FUCKED UP!

Half her audience reached puberty since the last record came out.  Those left, they’ll be gone by the time of the next.

Still, although beneath label expectations, I’m stunned this album did this many.

81. Buckcherry "15"

Sales this week: 8,297
Cume: 733,080

Good for them.  No one believed in them, they made the record on their own…Atlantic picked it up and unlike too many other pickups, it SOLD!

People still want to get fucked up, they still want music to express their anger and frustration.  Being a young male is exasperating.  You want it all, and you get very little.  You need a soundtrack.  This fits perfectly.

62. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  "Don’t You Fake It’

Sales this week: 9,617
Cume: 641,345

Slow but steady.  Jason’s first victory in his new gig.

This never reached the top of the chart, unlike most albums, it didn’t come out with a bang and then sink.  It’s been building.  46 weeks on the chart so far.  This is the new paradigm.  The slow build, sans monster hype.  Have a few acts this size in your repertoire, and then one of them blows up big and it’s 1972 all over again.  Can you say WARNER BROTHERS?

61. Rush "Snakes & Arrows"

Sales this week: 9,619
Cume: 159,770

Either their fans have the loudest voices of all, or there aren’t that many of them, or BOTH!

Rush has got a rabid fan base.  They rave about the band constantly.  But this is a piss poor number.  Suddenly, it appears Rush is an oldies act, and fans only want the classics.  Then again, should the band be scared on the road?

Watch this video.  To the very end.  It’s only a minute twelve.

Dance Tonight

I was down with it until the very end, when the desperation FREAKED ME OUT!

Oh, you can watch the video that comes on thereafter, but if you don’t agree Paul’s impromptu solo performance in the initial video is better, we’re never going to agree on ANYTHING!

If Paul McCartney wasn’t a Beatle, he’d be…Macy Gray?  Wearing a dress to the Video Music Awards emblazoned with her album’s drop date?

Or would he be Britney Spears.  With a train-wreck personal life, trumpeted all over the media, overshadowing his music.

As for all of you Macca fans blowing back?  There just AREN’T THAT FUCKING MANY OF YOU!  "Chaos and Creation In The Backyard" only scanned 533,000, and the first week total for the new one is projected at 150k by the seers at "Hits".  Enjoy it, even love it, but most people just don’t give a shit.

But this isn’t about MCartney.  This is about new acts, today.

1. Desperation Never Works

Ever hear of a homeless man becoming a millionaire?  If begging truly worked, EVERYBODY would be out doing it.  But no, when you come to the intersection of San Vicente and Wilshire you raise your car window, you suddenly find something fascinating in your dashboard, ANYTHING to avoid eye contact with the so-called "veteran" looking for a hand-out.

2. The Hype Era Is Over

Well, not completely.  Not if you’re one of Clive Davis’ charges, selling bland crap, appearing in all media that will have you.
Speaking of Mr. Davis, have you caught this video on YouTube?

Mister Davis

It’s not the eighties anymore.  The people get to BITE BACK!  And, an online groundswell put Dell Computer in the ground.  "Dell Hell", that’s what they call it, don’t they?  Wherein you’re on hold for hours in India and when you finally get "Bob" or "Sue" or "David" on the line they can’t help you, if they can even frickin’ UNDERSTAND YOU!  (Never mind you them!)

Yes, one lone Website got the anti-Dell ball rolling.

And, this coupled with a failure to realize that demand had shifted to physical stores from ordering online or on the phone DECIMATED Dell’s sales, hell, the company will probably never recover.  Dell took its eyes off the ball.  The labels took their eyes off the ball YEARS ago!  And, unlike Michael Dell, they don’t seem to realize they’re in crisis, they haven’t fired enough PRESIDENTS!

Hate to tell you Clive, but the public sees you as just another over-the-hill hack standing in the way of good music.  The media might bow at your feet, but the public is laughing.  They don’t take those "American Idols" seriously, nor you either.  Want to rehabilitate your image?  Come down off your throne.  Have a blog.  Answer questions.  Put demos online, so when YOU pass everybody can see the track is shite TOO!

3. We’re All In It Together

If you’re on a pedestal, you’re just asking to be pulled down.

Look at Paris Hilton.  The media thought she was a star.  But now, with this prison fiasco, they found out the public HATES HER!  Hell, even her CONSTITUENCY booed her at the MTV Movie Awards!

No one is above the law.  (Well, except maybe R. Kelly.)

If you’re getting special treatment, you’re just one step away from not getting any treatment at all.  You’re one step away from being ignored.  Don’t parade yourself, a-twitter in the glow of the spotlight, go nail a few houses together with Habitat For Humanity, and DON’T PUBLICIZE IT!  Hell, just pose for a few cell phone photos and the story will be ALL OVER THE WEB, and it will look like you had nothing to do with it.

Interact with your fans.  Tell them you’re just like them.  Or GET OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT!

4. We Live In A Pull, Not A Push World

Low-key buzz to Starbucks’ first music release

Playing McCartney 24/7…  Sounds good on paper, people buy music when they hear it, but is Paul pissing off more people than he’s pleasing?

In the above Seattle "Post-Intelligencer" article, thirty two year old Starbucks customer Melanie Hernandez says:

"It feels a little bit like it’s being shoved down my throat."

And you wonder why people gave up on terrestrial radio.  They had no control over hearing the same damn worthless crap over and over again.  Kind of like being at Starbucks yesterday.

This might work for Paul, he might be the last one through the door, but if you’ve got a new act, don’t shove it down our throats, don’t take every marketing opportunity thrown your way.  Focus on the music and getting fans.  Fans beget fans.  Corporations don’t beget fans (unless, maybe, they’re Apple Computer!)

This Hear Music/Starbucks paradigm is now officially done.

That Ray Charles CD sold at Starbucks, and then a few discs in reasonable numbers thereafter, but now the coffee chain is just another outlet, whose imprimatur is close to worthless.  If they sold ONE ALBUM A YEAR, and it wasn’t on their own label…  Hell, they’re selling COFFEE, not music.  And what sells their coffee is quality and word of mouth.  They’re not banging us over the head with ads telling us how fucking great their main product is.  The company is positively SOFT SELL!  Isn’t it curious when it comes to music they’re so fucking HARD SELL?  In other words, they don’t want to dilute their main brand (unless it be with water!)  To make it perfectly clear, Starbucks respects coffee more than music!  And doesn’t seemingly EVERYBODY these days.  This overhype and overselling of music has tainted the whole damn medium.  Everybody thinks music is for wannabe rich hypesters looking to pull themselves above the rest of us.  Hell, watch MTV, follow their antics.  Stars are two-dimensional cartoon characters we laugh at, we don’t BELIEVE IN THEM!

Isn’t it funny that Trent Reznor won’t tie in with ANYBODY and won’t even go on TV, won’t do the late night shows, and he can sell out arenas fifteen odd years down the line and the "stars" of today work clubs?  Trent’s about servicing the fanbase.  Leaving those who don’t care OUT!

Paul McCartney wants everybody.  And that’s why his carpet bomb hype turns us off.

Oh, Paul will go on tour and sell out too.  But when he gets to the music from this new album, that’s when everybody will go to the bathroom.

I figured he had more dignity.  But no, that was Lennon.

I want a human Paul.  Not a slick vessel promoting a disc.

But I’ll leave him alone now.  MAYBE!  I’ll leave you with your ancient memories as you coast into the retirement home.

But what kind of crazy fucked up world do we live in where people are more partial to coffee than music, where music is a second-class citizen?

It goes to the music itself, and how it is sold.

Trying to reach as many people as possible, the labels signed bland crap, and overhyped it.

When we finally had the chance to get out, WE DID!  We want more choice, we want something different from the wall to wall hip-hop and melisma-choking females.  We want something that touches our SOULS!  Fuck, touch someone’s soul and the music doesn’t even HAVE to be that good.  Have a beer with a fan, and he’ll be yours for LIFE!  Listen to your public.  Try to respect us.  THEN we’re interested.

How about a house concert.  Yup Paul, come play somewhere in the suburbs, the STICKS!  Talk about Beatlemania, can you imagine the town it occurs in?  People will be lined up for blocks, looky-loos will jam up roads for miles around.  Because people want to touch a Beatle.  We all want to touch a Beatle.  But we want the Beatle of our memories.  Not some out of touch huckster.

Start with the fucking basics.  The tunes and the public.  If you’ve got something real, press will be organic, and your record will sell.

A hard core fan will stay with you for eons.

Someone knocked over the head, caught up in temporary mania, he’ll be gone forever.

The reason Paul can’t sell is because he’s burned us too many times.  If the new one really were the next "Band On The Run", it would be best to UNDERSELL IT!

One drop in the water, that’s all it takes. Just like a single file in the P2P network might be traded by MILLIONS!

But we only trade what we want.

And we buy what we need.

What do you want?  What do you need?  Something that comforts you at night, that you picked out, that’s yours, that feels like yours alone?  Or an impulse item bought in a momentary lapse of reason?

We no longer need QUICK purchases, but DETERMINED ONES!  Come to my site, listen to the tunes, kick the tires, become a fan if YOU want to.  Everybody’s welcome.  And if I’m good, you’ll give me ALL your money.  Because there’s very little good shit out there, and that’s what we’re all looking for, GOOD SHIT!