McCartney At Amoeba

It was positively MINDBLOWING!

If you weren’t at least ten or eleven back in ’64 you’ve got no idea, you’ve got no concept of BEATLEMANIA!

And that’s what was in evidence this evening at possibly the world’s most famous record store. I mean I’m standing with Felice and Peter Paterno and you can hear WHISPERS! In the row behind us, it’s RINGO!

Yup, Ringofuckingstarr. With his cropped hair and sunglasses. Barbara Bach at his side. Smiling like he’s in the sequel of "A Hard Day’s Night".

And next to Ringo it’s Olivia Harrison. And next to her Barbara Orbison. And then Jeff Lynne. And, right behind them, leaning against the bin, was Joe Walsh. You see they remembered. When we all had short hair and loved to play baseball and suddenly "I Want To Hold Your Hand" came over the radio and our lives changed…FOREVER!

Why am I living in California?

Well, that’s because of Brian Wilson.

But why am I writing this shit, why are you reading it, because of the BEATLES!

In ONE DAY our lives changed…IRREVOCABLY! We all bought guitars, grew our hair and formed bands. We wanted IN! Math, the National Honor Society, WHO CARED! The most important thing was those black pieces of wax, containing a whole LIFE! And taking the stage was the cute one, the one all the girls fell for, who could sing sweet or yell like Little Richard. THAT guy was in Amoeba tonight, fewer than TWENTY FEET AWAY!

And, I’ll tell you, I’ll never be the same.

Oh, it wasn’t quite like seeing the Stones, we didn’t have to wait an hour and a half. But forty minutes after the anointed time, at ten after eight, Paul bounces on stage, looks right to Rusty and left to Brian and then as that lick embedded in our DNA starts to come out of the speakers, steps up to the mic and sings:

Ask the girl what she wanted to be
She said baby, can’t you see
I want to be famous, a star of the screen
But you can do something in between

He was playing DRIVE MY CAR!

He’s supposed to start off with one of the new numbers, or a classic blue chip, not the coolest track that wasn’t even ON the American version of RUBBER SOUL!

Every time I went to Marc Goloff’s house I played his English version of the album, just to hear that opening cut. It’s not exactly a secret, but it wasn’t one of the Capitol priorities, and now FORTY YEARS LATER PAUL McCARTNEY IS PLAYING IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!

It was like that SNL skit. You know, the parody of Oprah giving away Pontiacs, where people’s HEADS WERE EXPLODING! The girls were screaming, my jaw was dropped, it was the sixties all over again, it was BEATLEMANIA!

Oh, he played "I’ll Follow The Sun"! God, I can tell you exactly where I was, talking about "Beatles ’65" on Christmas Day 1964 in the lobby of Skylight Ski Lodge in Manchester, Vermont. Yup, our entire LIVES are Beatle memories. He picks a song, and a movie starts playing in your head.

And he’s playing them so naturally. He’s not missing a fucking NOTE in "Blackbird". He’s got that acoustic strung left. He’s moving his fingers on the fretboard. It was enough to make you cry, overcome with emotion, that what you’d dedicated your life to was worthwhile.

Yes, it was a religious experience.

And the banter! He told us not to shoplift the CDs, he interacted with the hecklers. He told stories. And he played like he MEANT IT, he was giving it his ALL!

All those gigs in Hamburg…you could see evidence, in Paul’s confidence, the way he manipulated the audience, the way he went off script and jammed if it felt good to HIM!

Yes, it was like being in the garage with the world’s best band. All of a sudden, just when you can’t pick out the song anymore, you realize they’re starting to JAM! Paul’s picking out notes on his Les Paul, he’s looking at the other players, it didn’t even matter that we were THERE!

But oh, we were.

My body tingles to think of the assembled multitude singing "Hey Jude". Oh, you might think you’ve heard it enough in YOUR lifetime, but the guy who wrote it, who sang it, when he’s banging it out on the keyboard, when you come to that endless coda, you can’t help but sing along, like you did in your car again and again and again, all summer long back in ’66. Oh, he’s even adding the fillips from the record…JUUDYJUUDYJUUDYJUUDY!

I’d forgotten to turn off my BlackBerry, it was buzzing in my pocket, but I didn’t want to even reach in to turn it off, I didn’t want to distract myself for ONE SECOND, I wanted to soak it all in, because at some point, this was going to END, and I’d be aching, just wanting more.

Not that Paul punched the clock on us. He played for an hour twenty five. INSANE! These private shows, hyping the new release, they’re twenty minutes at best, the players are going through the motions. But Paul was giving it his ALL!

Paul… That’s really him. With that baby face. That guy who made it all the way from Liverpool to worldwide fame. It must be tough to be Paul, everybody looking at you everywhere you go, but how can you do otherwise, it’s HIM!

He played "Lady Madonna". That was on a compilation album I remember seeing in a record shop on my first trip to Aspen in February 1970.

And he played "Let It Be". With Rusty nailing the guitar solo. With me thinking of Paul’s mother, and… We know the guy’s complete story, but do we know HIM?

He’s not edge-less. He got pissed at some girl for interrupting one of his stories. Oh, he didn’t lose his cool, it’s just that he wasn’t worried about the camera, his image, he’d earned the right to be HIMSELF!

What can I tell you, he played I’VE GOT A FEELING!!! And MATCHBOX, even talked about how Carl Perkins wrote it, laying down a little history for those who didn’t know the author of "Blue Suede Shoes" wasn’t a one hit wonder.

And, in the multiple song encore, he didn’t play "Yesterday", he surprised us with something better, something for us…

Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner
But he knew it couldn’t last
Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona
Bought some CALIFORNIA GRASS

The Friday night before "Let It Be" was released I was driving in my mother’s Country Squire to see Traffic’s reunion show at the Fillmore East and WNEW was playing the album from start to finish. The FM radio in my mother’s new car only played the left channel for some reason, so I leaned down to listen through the static, even though a girl I had a serious crush on was riding shotgun. Because, ultimately, people come and go, but we can count on the music, the music doesn’t disappoint us, we can depend on the Beatles.

Oh, by this time I already had my escape plan in motion, in my mind anyway. I was gonna leave the uptight, dreary east coast for CALIFORNIA! Where the girls wore bikinis, it never rained and it was about possibilities rather than limits.

And when Paul hits that line, the whole room ERUPTS! Because we know EVERY LINE! In everything from "I Saw Her Standing There" in the encore, to "C Moon" close to the beginning.

And it wasn’t like there was a wall between us. The connection, it was PALPABLE! He was our leader, he had us in the palm of his hand. He was taking us on a journey to the center of our minds, our best selves, when music was ENOUGH!

And I’m sure that every other person in Amoeba felt the exact same way. This wasn’t de rigueur, this wasn’t something you shrugged off, this touched your SOUL!

It was too good to be true.

I’m still pinching myself.

Randy Phillips Responds

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:03 PM PDT

Bob, only you can ruin my high from opening the greatest arena in the world, London, England’s The O2, this week. Here I sit in my hotel room at 1:30am and I foolishly open your blog, or whatever it is. Both Kenny Chesney and Justin Timberlake are AEG Live touring clients. Kenny through our wholly owned subsidiary The Messina Group and JT through our touring division Concerts West. I admire and respect Kenny’s immeasurable talent and love for his fans and am honored to be in business with him. At the same time, I am very close to Justin and have believed and bet on him since he left ‘NSYNC. Team JT (the artist, his mom and dad and their management partner Johnny Wright, agent David Zedeck at CAA, lawyer, and business manager, have repaid my early belief with tremendous loyalty. This young man is respectful, talented beyond belief, and a brilliant and seasoned business savvy artist, whose acumen makes you forget how damn young he still is.

The irony of you slagging Justin and praising Kenny is that I know them both and, if you did also, you would realize how similar they are in their humility in handling their fans and success, their ability to genre-bend while achieving mythical commercial and creative plateaus, their laser like attention to detail in the decisions that have promulgated their careers, and how wisely they have chosen the people around them.

Bob, I have ignored your shots at AEG Live, the amazing company I am privileged to run which, according to Billboard’s mid-year chart, has produced 3 of the top 5 tours this year, however, I cannot ignore your most recent mean spirited attack on a close friend and client. It is inaccurate and misguided. Hopefully I have let off enough steam in this email I am typing with my aching thumbs on this damn Blackberry to get to sleep.

Respectfully submitted,

Randy Phillips
President & CEO
AEG Live

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:27 PM PDT

You’re a great BlackBerry typist!
But come on, don’t take it so personally…
I thought Justin was good in ‘N Sync, but I don’t cotton to those beat-driven records. The point about Chesney is it’s more akin to rock, singalong, memories, longevity!
As for constantly slagging AEG… Shit, you’d have to show me. I’m an equal opportunity offender, and I think I’ve been much worse on LiveNation.
As for Bon Jovi… I’m actually somewhat of a fan, but to tie in the album sales, in pre-sales no less, to get a high SoundScan debut is heinous, it’s taking the business in the wrong direction. I’m gonna stand up to that all day long. And have certainly let TicketMaster know my feelings.
You’re in business with these people, but fans don’t react to you so much as the acts. And I’m reacting to the acts.
And I don’t like JT’s humble/I’m white but black act ANYWAY!

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Number One?
Date: June 26, 2007 6:28 PM PDT

In the immortal words of yet another client, Rod Stewart (from "Infatuation"): "Oh no, not again!"
First you attack Justin Timberlake and, now, Bon Jovi. Will your vexing, envious ranting ever end? Bon Jovi is one of the greatest live rock bands on the road today and with all original members. The show they performed this Sunday night inaugurating AEG’s O2 Arena in London was spectacular. Here was a multi-night stadium act doing a one-night only concert in a 20,000 seat arena. The excitement from their fans and the energy and enthusiasm on stage brought the house down.

Please attack Live Nation clients from now on and leave our artists alone. Back to sleep at 2:30pm Greenwich time.

Randy Phillips
President & CEO
AEG Live

P.S. Bon Jovi’s fans had to proactively "opt-in" to buy the new album when the first 5 of 10 shows christening AEG’s Prudentail Center, a new state-of-the-art arena in Newark, New Jersey, went on sale. These are real sales from real people from a real #1 album. And AEG Live was the same company that packaged the CD with the ticket on Prince’s last tour. In an industry reeling from self-doubt, you should praise innovation instead of trying to find fault where none exists. Please get a life! Good night.

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: Number One?
Date: June 26, 2007 6:33 PM PDT

That’s bullshit, and you know it:

The online presale program will be available exclusively to American Express cardholders beginning June 12 through June 14, and to the general public from June 15 through June 22. Tickets without the digital album download will then be available for purchase by the general public beginning June 23.

You HAD to buy the digital download if you wanted tickets in the pre-sale…

Bon Jovi, Ticketmaster bundle digital album, tickets

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: another…
Date: June 26, 2007 6:36 PM PDT

In what’s being billed as a first, Bon Jovi is bundling a digital iTunes copy of the band’s upcoming album, Lost Highway, with advance tickets for October concerts in Newark, N.J.

The stand, which begins October 25 and may be expanded beyond the initial five shows, will open the new Prudential Center in Newark.

The online presale program will be available exclusively to American Express cardholders beginning June 12 through June 14, and to the general public from June 15 through June 22. Tickets without the digital-album download will then be available for purchase by the general public beginning June 23.

Fans who purchase the Lost Highway Ticket Package will receive a code from Ticketmaster that enables them to download Lost Highway from iTunes beginning on its June 19 release. The ticket-album package will cost $9.99–the price of the album on iTunes–more than tickets later sold on their own. Album sales in the bundle will count toward the album’s Billboard chart position, whose sales source is Nielsen SoundScan.

For those fans who have already preordered Lost Highway from Bon Jovi’s Web site or iTunes, Bon Jovi and Ticketmaster have arranged for iTunes to provide a passcode that will enable them to purchase a single presale ticket for $9.99 less without adding the digital album.

The program is similar in concept to previous Ticketmaster initiatives with acts such as Bob Dylan, Maroon 5 and Daddy Yankee. The difference is that the other programs offered albums and tickets in two separate sales via two separate sites.

The Bon Jovi deal is the first "all-in" presale that bundles together a ticket and a digital album as a single transaction sold via Ticketmaster’s Web site. In this way, the promotion is more a digital version of Prince’s 2005 Musicology tour, which included with the ticket price a physical version of his new album, to be picked up at the venue.

The $375 million, 18,000-capacity Prudential Center will be managed by Anschutz Entertainment Group (AEG) and booked by its live entertainment division, AEG Live

Bon Jovi bundles iTunes album with Ticketmaster sales

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:41 PM PDT

Bob baby, you are one-of-a-kind! If you feel it would be fair play, please consider publishing my responses so that the readers get a balanced and nuanced perspective. And I really do have to get to sleep.

Randy

P.S. I think the line about AEG Live was "New boss, same as the old boss….".

It’s really not so.
RP

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:43 PM PDT

Why don’t you admit to the truth about the Bon Jovi pre-sale.

From: Randy Phillps
Subject: Re: another…
Date: June 26, 2007 6:46 PM PDT

In the Prince sales we didn’t give the consumer the opt-in/opt-out choice and did accidentally (all Prince cared about was getting his new music into as many hands as possible) and artificially influence the Soundscan Charts. This was not the case with BJ.

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:47 PM PDT

I searched every e-mail sent since September, and came across NOTHING like what you’ve said here. You’re dreaming.

But I did come across: "To save the business, you’ve got to take chances, you’ve got to take a risk. But the risk has been ELIMINATED! Live Nation survives on a SLIVER of revenues. And they have to worry about AEG. Risk? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

So, I’m always down on AEG?? Give me a break.

____________________________________________

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: another…
Date: June 26, 2007 6:48 PM PDT

Come on, if you wanted in on the Bon Jov pre-sale, you had to BUY the album.
As to how Prince did it, I’ve got NO PROBLEM WITH THAT!

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Number One?
Date: June 26, 2007 6:52 PM PDT

Bob, they are playing 10 nights, not 1 or 2, and there are plenty of tickets available to the public in both the primary and secondary markets. Only 45,000 out of over 100,000 sales opted to buy in. Those are REAL sales. All we did was make it easier for a fan to purchase the record. Please open your mind to new ways of selling records. The business and artists need these avenues. For God’s sake, Tower Records is gone! Embrace the new paradigm. Soon physical product will be gone also. At least fans bought an entire album instead of just a song. RP

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: Number One?
Date: June 26, 2007 6:54 PM PDT

God, you’re too much. That’s NOT THE POINT!
If you wanted in on the pre-sale, you had to buy the album. And that was my SOLE POINT!
It was intentionally done to manipulate SoundScan.

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:54 PM PDT

Your truth is not my truth. That’s what makes humans interesting and diverse. I respectfully defend my right to disagree. RP

From: Bob Lefsetz
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 6:56 PM PDT

Wow, you are blowing my fucking mind.
I will print what you had to say, but not until you admit that if you wanted pre-sale tickets, you had to buy the album.
Or, maybe I should print this insane diatribe, which believe me, won’t make you look good, but positively delusional.

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Kenny Chesney
Date: June 26, 2007 7:04 PM PDT

Search more. I have a memory like a steel trap. Probably 6 months to slightly over a year ago. You’re killing me and I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow morning.

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: another…
Date: June 26, 2007 7:08 PM PDT

There were still plenty of good seats left and everyone knew there would be 10 shows because we issued a press release to that affect prior to the on-sale. Give a band with this much longevity a break. They are obviously doing something right. We can debate this further in person when I get back.

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Number One?
Date: June 26, 2007 7:20 PM PDT

That was not the overriding reason, but it was a good result. The greatest marketing.plans are when image and reality meet. The band want to sell records and may do this again when they do a full scale tour. Soundscan was a secondary consideration. ENOUGH!

From: Randy Phillips
Subject: Re: Number One?
Date: June 26, 2007 7:24 PM PDT

You control your column so I am at your mercy. Do what you think is fair. I am committed to my point of view. I am not trying to be argumentative. Incidentally, the album was #1 in Canada, the UK, and Japan in its first week and I promise we did not do a pre-sale for the New Jersey shows in those merkets.
Byeeeeeee,

The iPhone Reviews Are In!

The iPhone Is a Breakthrough Handheld Computer

The iPhone Matches Most of Its Hype

What if it WORKS? THAT’S the fascinating question, not if it doesn’t.

Oh, we’re used to disappointments. Letdowns. Ever watch a prizefight? They build it up for months, and sometimes in NINETY SECONDS, it’s OVER!

Or, how about a movie. The only movie in the last fifteen years I can think of that lived up to the hype was "Pulp Fiction". But Tarantino hasn’t done much for us lately, and how many times can you watch one damn film?

And it’s not even like a record. The iPhone isn’t subjective. It either works or it doesn’t. YOU use it. It’s not like an album, which you spin and form an opinion on. There are people who HATE "Sgt. Pepper". Will people hate the iPHONE?

Well, people hate Macs. Just not that many anymore. Because of the iPod.

The halo effect is real. After someone buys an iPod, they’re OPEN to a Mac. Because the iPod does one thing Windows never did, and that’s JUST WORK! Oh, let’s not talk about battery failures, let’s just talk raw usability. If you’re frustrated with an iPod you’re not even in the MARKET for a smartphone. All you can do with your cell is dial. But, most people get iPods and are stunned by the way you just plug it in and it syncs, the way you can manage your tracks in iTunes without reading the manual. How you can do SO MUCH without reading the manual. So, if you’re an iPod customer, even a WINDOWS iPod customer, you’re interested in an iPhone.

What do Mossberg and Pogue say are the negatives?

Well, the primary one is AT&T. With its insanely slow network. 55 seconds for nytimes.com to appear? 100 for Amazon? TWO MINUTES FOR YAHOO?

That’s why I won’t be buying an iPhone soon. I’m used to Verizon EVDO. But, if you’ve never experienced Verizon high speed… Or you’ve got a Verizon smartphone and have never figured out how to USE the Internet… Or if you’ve got a Wi-Fi pass allowing you to surf the Web on your iPhone at high speed… IT MIGHT NOT BE SO BAD!

And the typing?

Walter Mossberg said he was maddened for three days, happy after five. Kind of sounds like my two letter per key BlackBerry. Hey, have you heard anybody bitching about their PEARL? People LOVE their Pearls!

And after that…

Well, price. But if price were determinate, then the iPod would have been a failure. And the iPhone plan is a full TWENTY DOLLARS CHEAPER than my Verizon BlackBerry plan!

You’ve got to get a new battery after 300-400 charges. Then again, most people get new HANDSETS within this window. To pay to have your Gen-1 handset upgraded, that doesn’t seem so bad.

In other words, the future is here. Mossberg and Pogue have given the equivalent of raves, new products don’t get such glowing endorsements. So, NOW WHAT?

1. Apple doesn’t dominate the handset business like it did with iPods. Not everybody needs data, yet…

2. No smartphone producer can compete with Apple, because of the underlying SOFTWARE! If you think Windows Mobile is a usable alternative, DO ME A FAVOR AND STICK WITH IT!

3. Steve Jobs becomes the most famous person in America. A new Charles Lindbergh, but with true cred.

4. The price of iPhones goes down as volume increases.

5. Macs blow up! An iPhone runs the same OS X as you’ve got on a Mac. Do you really think people are going to use Mac handhelds and want to stick with their Windows computers? Not gonna happen.

6. Although Apple Stores will continue to do boffo business, the days of going to the mobile store to get a phone and sign up will be GONE! The most interesting news to come from Apple today is that you activate your iPhone via iTUNES! And you know that will work… As for needing to go into a store to select a phone, HOW FUCKING COMPLICATED IS IT? That’s one thing Steve Jobs did when he came back to Apple, streamline the product line. And if you NEED handholding, you can go to the GENIUS BAR, as opposed to visiting the mobile store peopled with barely trained employees who barely last. Otherwise, you’ll just buy your iPhone on the Web.

7. Web-surfing will be de rigueur on handsets.

8. People will come to expect functionality from handsets. And the word will be spread by iPhone owners, who will demonstrate their prized possession to EVERYBODY! You could look at a Razr, but no one demonstrated how it worked, after all, it was JUST A PHONE!

9. After dropping the day of release, Apple stock will continue to climb.

10. Mac OS X Leopard will be a huge story in the press, garnering mucho coverage. Arcane features that only techies would have noticed previously will be trumpeted everywhere, drawing even more Windows users into the Mac fold.

11. More businesses will go Mac. Their employees will DEMAND IT!

12. A new level of functionality and usability will be expected from smartphones. It’s akin to the Japanese invading America with their automobiles. They were better built, and worked better too. The bar has just been raised. VERY HIGH!

13. Jimmy Iovine or one of his music biz buddies will clamor to pre-load the iPhone with their company’s music, but Steve Jobs will say no, he doesn’t want to foist anything upon his users, he doesn’t want to sully the user experience.

14. Movie studios will do business with Apple. This ain’t no iPod screen, this YOU CAN watch a movie on. They’re afraid of missing this market.

15. Dell won’t recover. Microsoft will have its cash, but having lost all credibility, purveying a lame OS, its stock will no longer ascend into the stratosphere.

16. You will remember this week, if not quite the same way as you remember Kennedy being shot or the Apollo moon-landing, close. Because this is a game changing event. Not like the Mets winning the ’69 World Series, not like the Red Sox breaking the curse, but BIGGER! This is not momentary, this is FOREVER! This is like the World Wide Web, this IRREVOCABLY changes the game.

17. You will want one. Even if you never had a smartphone before. You will want to play, just like you purchased your first computer to use AOL.

18. Naysayers will exist. Most losing their credibility, being shown as having an investment in a competitor.

19. The NEXT Jobs speech will be must see TV. Expect new iMacs and new iPods in the fall.

20. Cheaper iPhones will arrive when supply catches up with demand. At the latest, at next year’s January MacWorld conference.

21. iPod growth will start to level off. People will prefer the iPhone.

22. Mobile music stores will have a hard time getting traction. You SIDELOAD the iPhone. To buy music on Verizon? WHY? Unless it’s cheap and sans copy protection, so you can load it on your iPhone WHEN YOU GET ONE!

23. The iPhone will function on AT&T’s nascent high speed network by January, at the latest. AT&T’s stock will go up, it will invest in infrastructure, it will stop hemorrhaging subscribers, its chairman will be seen as a VISIONARY, lauded in "Forbes" and "BusinessWeek" for taking a risk.

24. The 80s conversion, wherein tech became cooler and more important than music, will be complete. The oldsters will run the major labels into the ground, new kids will continue to flock to tech startups, where they’ve got a CHANCE!

25. It will be YEARS before everybody is convinced that one device is enough. Just like those people who carried BlackBerries and cellphones in the past, there will be people carrying iPods and mobile handsets. Until…

26. It’s unclear whether Jobs will solve the next big convergence/tech problem, because right now he’s so far ahead of the game, inventing a device most people didn’t even know they needed, that we can’t SEE what the next device IS!

But Jobs is never first. Not even with the graphical-user-interface. Jobs just enters a market at the right time, with the BEST device. And takes over.

Watch Mossberg’s video. Pay attention to the hype. This is a game-changing affair. You can pooh-pooh it all you want, but soon, you won’t think twice about surfing the Web on your handheld device, you’ll get frustrated that your present mobile is so hard to use, you’ll look at iPhone users with ENVY! You’ll lust after an iPhone until you finally get one.

As for iPhones ceasing to be cool? It’s over five years later, have iPODS lost any of their cool?

I’m not switching, I’m not getting one. But when my Verizon contract comes up, if AT&T has a high speed network and coverage equivalent to Verizon’s, I’m gone.

But for those already on AT&T. Or T-Mobile. YOUR DAY HAS FINALLY COME! Go down to your local Apple Store and LINE UP!

In the seventies, the action was at the record store. Today it’s at the Apple Store. Oh, what a long strange trip it’s been.

Number One?

 

Jon Bon Jovi did "American Idol", "The Today Show", "Unplugged" and all he could sell was 285,000 measly albums? Wanted dead or alive? I’d say NOT WANTED TOO MUCH!

Hey Jon, why didn’t you get arrested and violate your probation so you could get out of jail when your album was released?

This is a sad, sorry state of affairs. All you fans of classic rockers, even hair metal bands, acts that can still play live, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO BUY THEIR FUCKING RECORD IN ORDER TO SEE THEM!

No one gives a shit about Bon Jovi’s country album "Lost Highway", least of all the patrons eager to see the dude at the Meadowlands. But in order to be up close and personal, in order to relive the 80s, you had to BUY THE FUCKING ALBUM TO GET A SEAT!

Oh, you could wait. But then you’d be sitting so far back, you’d be better off watching the show on V Cast. Hey Jon! Why didn’t you think of that! Showing YOUR concert on a mobile phone AT the stadium! It’s just another $3.95 built into the cost of the ticket!

But why stop with the album and the V Cast. Why not include the T-SHIRT!

Because the t-shirt doesn’t CHART!

What we’ve got here is good old media manipulation.

That guy with the blown-dry hair. Who’s always smiling for the camera? He’s a crass businessman who doesn’t truly give a shit about his audience, otherwise he wouldn’t be charging so DAMN MUCH FOR TICKETS! He just wants to be part of the business infrastructure. He just wants to get PAID!

And the ignorant fucks he’s dealing with are clueless when it comes to the music business. So he needs a number one in order to impress them, in order to get them to PLAY BALL!

Why is everybody so dishonest? No wonder the music business is tanking. It’s run by the shadiest sociopaths, who will do ANYTHING to make money and retain their power.

Why SoundScan allowed this deception in its chart, I have no idea. Everybody cried FOUL when Prince GAVE AWAY his album with concert tickets and ended up in the Top Ten. So now you’ve got to pay. But did they envision THIS? The tail wagging the dog? The consumer getting fucked in the process?

The charts are now meaningless. Certainly those of album sales.

If SoundScan wants to have any credibility, it’s got to exclude sales that are part of any promotion, tied in with any other product. Or else establish a NEW chart, a jail for those looking for an edge, trying to game the system.

"Lost Highway" isn’t number one. It’s no different from Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron’s record fueled by steroids. If you’re not true to the game, the game becomes tarnished.

The music game was always peopled by pricks like Pete Rose. But as album sales dry up, as those in power are immobilized, refusing to monetize new modes of acquisition at lower prices and suing those who are just doing what is convenient, we’re seeing new levels of desperation, resulting in activities that show the true colors of not only the executives, but the acts themselves.

Bon Jovi, maybe what you need is six weeks in jail. With the hoi polloi. Sans your creature comforts and your money. Where your wink and your smile only draw people to your butt. Then maybe you’ll renounce your heinous ways.

An everyman? Not unless you consider Tony Soprano, Jon’s New Jersey neighbor, to be a model citizen.