I’m scratching my head with regard to these record company layoffs.  What are the bosses thinking?

We can complain that a salary cut at the top can save multiple jobs at the bottom.

We can look to Steve Jobs, who famously said during the dot come meltdown that Apple was going to innovate its way out of the crisis.

But what’s most fascinating to me is that record labels are not like Caterpillar, not like Chrysler, not like Home Depot.

No company’s going to rush in and steal Caterpillar’s business.  Caterpillar is tanking because of the slowdown in construction.  
We can detail all the problems of Chrysler, but even Toyota is hurting.

And it takes so much money to ramp up in the auto and construction industries.  A kid in his dorm doesn’t undercut them with some all night programming sessions on his laptop.

But music is different.  It’s easy to make.  Can be expensive to market, but how good is the major label marketing when there’s no one working there anymore?  When they’ve gutted their touring and new media departments?

In other words, it’s incredibly shortsighted for record labels to be laying people off now.  Because they don’t have a monopoly on the marketplace.

One can outsource certain functions.  But you need a core team, familiar with all the ins and outs, that believes it belongs.

You need youth, who are not only in touch with trends, but have few expenses and are dedicated.

The fewer acts you sign, the more turf you cede to your opponents in the game, the independents.  Majors used to believe they could just skim the cream off the top, when an act got traction, they’d sign them.  But with sales so anemic and radio less consequential and the Internet delivering the ability to do it yourself, do you really need the big label?  Do you need to give up all that action for so little in return?

Now is when the future of the music business is being written.  Just like major media corporations like Viacom and Tribune could end up in different hands, when the dust clears, when the economy is healthy, expect completely different people to be in charge of music production.  Most likely the same young ‘uns above, who are willing to work for bupkes, all night.

There’s no stranglehold on creativity.  Not only artistic, but business too.  A great thought does not have to come in the package of a million dollar executive.  One can posit that the greatest thoughts, the best innovations, come from those unburdened by the so-called truth.  Successful entrepreneurs constantly state that if they knew what they did now, they never would have started.  That ignorance is truly bliss.

If you truly care about music, don’t lament the loss of your job at the major label.  It was just a matter of when, anyway.  Hopefully you’ve saved some of your salary, not blown it all on a big house and a German car lease.  Use your assets to build something. Utilizing your expertise.  If you truly care about music, show us.  Don’t just bitch that you can’t suck at the tit anymore.

New bands and new companies are not burdened by the major label structure.  They’ve got little overhead, they can give it away for free to sell concert tickets, they’re not married to a political agenda.  Indies are nimble.  They might not have access to terrestrial radio, but is terrestrial radio the dominant format of the future?  Is ANYTHING the dominant format of the future?  By trying to hit homers are the majors ceding the landscape to those who know the value of a single?  And never forget, a bunch of singles will generate more runs than a solo homer.

Interesting times…

I was out with a friend who owns a restaurant last night.  He told me a customer who has a good experience tells two people. One who has a bad experience tells eight.  In other words, it’s easy to build a bad reputation and much harder to construct a good one.

Speaking of bad reputations, I remember my father employing Express Mail during a vacation.  The Postal Service absolutely positively guaranteed delivery by noon.  Which, of course, didn’t happen.  So here’s my father, waiting to leave a hotel to continue his journey, stymied not only in his travel plans, but his work plans, because the United States Postal Service doesn’t keep its word.  The Postal Service has its own version of Stephen Colbert’s "truthiness".  Can you blame them?  Losing all that money, trying to manage all those disgruntled employees?

Yes.  I’m paying for a service, I expect performance in return.  It’s kind of like American cars.  Even German ones.  They break. Not always significantly, but when you bring them in for service, you’ve got a list of defects.  Whereas with a Japanese car…there’s just nothing wrong.  Who even thought it was possible?

Speaking of Japan, my copy machine conked out.  Beyond warranty, but with very few miles on it.  Perusing the manual, I found a phone number.  Not the 800 number the technician ultimately gave me, but a lifeline that I could use to try and get some answers.

Speaking of manuals, I keep them.  But you no longer have to.  Because companies now put them online.  Every Apple manual is online.  I’ve found the HP ones.  The Web is a plethora of information.  Except in the music world.  Why doesn’t Universal Music’s site list every employee, and their e-mail address?  Why is there no company history?  How come there’s no SERVICE?  That’s what we use the Web for, information, answers to our problems.  This is how you bond in the twenty first century, by giving access, refusing to leave customers out in the cold.

Anyway, the technician couldn’t fix my copier over the phone.  I know that sounds conceptually ridiculous, but copiers are no longer dumb, they’re little computers, you can push a number of buttons, enter some codes and fix problems.  Actually, I got it to work for a second and was able to photostat some important documents, but then it conked out again.  Which meant I had to return it to Sharp in Illinois for repair.

Huh?

They used to give you someone to call locally.  But no, they insisted I send my copier back to Naperville.

Do you do this?

My aforementioned father taught me to treat my stuff well.  I’ve still got the SLR camera he gave me in college, even though it’s the equivalent of straight skis, superseded technologically.  I treat everything I own with respect.  Too much, in fact.  I’ve now found you’re oftentimes better throwing your old stuff away.  I learned this fixing VCRs.  You’re better off buying a new one.  And how good are the repairs anyway?  Do you trust American workers?

That’s a completely different question.  And I don’t.  There’s just not the incentive.  They’re not profiting enough to be dedicated. Or educated enough to properly diagnose problems, never mind fix them.

So you make a value judgment.

In this case, the copier cost $400.  They were going to charge me $140 to fix it (parts included, we Americans are suspicious of hidden charges, when anybody quotes a price we respond with a litany of questions, insuring this is truly the FINAL price.)  And I had to pay to ship it to them.

Well, how much do you think that’s gonna cost?

The technician estimated forty bucks.

I decided to fix my machine.

I scoured the garage, I still had the box, thank god, I’d just pack it up and…

Schlepp it out of the house and into my not so large car and then to UPS, which is like the Post Office, just more efficient?

You get no respect at UPS.

Nah, it might be more expensive, but I’ll go with FedEx Ground.  You can track, they’ll spend a few minutes soothing your anxiety…

Maybe you can do all this at UPS now.  But I don’t feel safe.  And since I ship only occasionally, I want no learning curve.

And I don’t want to do all that lifting.

So I call FedEx.  1-800-Go-FedEx.  Their advertising worked, I didn’t have to look up the number.

When I got the voice prompts, I just said "Operator", and I was clicked through to a real live person.  Whose accent was not so heavy I couldn’t understand her, who seemed there to help.  Sure, they’d pick up, for an additional four dollars.

Well, that’s nothing.

Yes, I could use my regular FedEx account, the one I use to send overnight packages.

But I had to request a pickup a day in advance and give them a six hour window.

Huh????  I’ve got to stay home for SIX HOURS?

Now if this was the Post Office, I wouldn’t count on them even coming during those six hours, even coming at all.  But having told this woman that I wanted someone between 10 and 4, there was a knock on the door EXACTLY at 10.  The delivery person picked up my copier and was gone that fast.

The paperwork?  I did all that online.  Printed the bill myself.

Point of all this?  I’M TELLING YOU!

No one tells somebody what a great experience they had at the shed, at any gig.  They might say the BAND was great, but they don’t say parking was fairly-priced and efficient, that the food was great.  And everybody hates TicketMaster.

Does it have to be that way?  Are these truly unsolvable problems?  Is the concert industry like the Post Office, hamstrung from the get-go, unable to deliver on its promises?

In other words, I can ship something halfway across the country, seamlessly, for ultimately $32, but I pay over a hundred and have to wait endlessly and am treated like a bison at the gig?

I feel good that I got my copier repair process started.  I have complete faith FedEx will deliver my package intact.  I’m slightly elated.  And I wanted to share that with you.

The same way when I used to buy a paper ticket at the record store I was thrilled.  As opposed to buying online, overpaying, not getting what I want, if I can get any ticket at all.

Life doesn’t have to be a gauntlet.  And that restaurant we ate at last night?  The food was very good, but it was a third empty. Used to be that you’d have to wait an hour for a table.  Wanting suggestions for further dishes, our waiter was stumped.  How hard would it be to verse the help in the offerings of the establishment.  To hire people who can interact in a way that the customer feels connected, not merely served?

When the going gets tough, and believe me, it’s very tough, quite rough, you don’t cut corners, you deliver more.  You bond your audience to you.  You deliver such a good experience that your customer becomes your marketing team.

That’s the twenty first century.  Where buyers only trust their peers and ignore most advertising.  Don’t sell the sizzle, sell the experience.  And know you can’t change perception overnight.  The little things count.  Get them right, and you’re on your way to success.

They weren’t kidding when Warner Brothers said they couldn’t release audiophile CDs to the general public.  The level is ASTOUNDINGLY low.  I’ve got plenty of power, but I’ve never cranked my computer speakers that loud.  And I’ve got great computer speakers (AUX).  But I wasn’t wowed.

I wanted to write and tell you how fucking great CDs without compression were.  Instead I’m gonna write how great VINYL is!

I blew the dust off my Technics turntable and checked the strobe, locking in the correct speed.  And then placed the needle on side two of the Mudcrutch album, to hear "Crystal River".  It was quiet.  Ah, that level problem.

Now I’m still using the old JBL studio monitors.  I thought of upgrading, but I’ve yet to be able to justify the multi-thousand dollar expense.  I’m mostly listening on my computer speakers.  And so often to compressed files.  This is all to say that I don’t have a subwoofer.  But, there was suddenly this ooze all over the floor of my house.  The same one that permeated the environment when I used to play "Long Time Gone" on that first Crosby, Stills & Nash album.  You know how you feel the bass, how it locates somewhere between your gut and your genitalia?  How it makes you feel like you’re truly at the live show?  That’s the sound I’ve got right now in my house.

Then there was that organ.  I didn’t hear the organ before.  Or at least didn’t notice it.

And when the piano plays, I can SEE IT!

And Mike Campbell’s fingers.  I notice them moving when he bends the notes.

And Tom himself.  It sounds like him.  Like he’s inside the speaker, singing solely to me.

It sounds like…music.

I’ve got this Sony CD player…  You put a weight on the disc.  The lens doesn’t move, but the CD itself.  You can hear the difference.  I loaded the commercial Mudcrutch CD.

After turning the music down, I noticed that the sound wasn’t radically different, not at first.  Then what impressed me most was the clarity.  The music was sharp, but I didn’t feel it.

I felt the audiophile CD.  But it wasn’t warm.  It was a silicone tit, not the real thing.  Real boobs sag.  The girls think we hate this. Along with stretchmarks and that roll of fat around their middle.  Whereas this makes girls real.  They’re built with a higher percentage of body fat.  They’re made to give birth, to nurture.  Who’d want to sleep with a ten year old boy?  A STARVING ten year old boy?

A woman built for the media orders a salad and picks at it.  A real woman savors her food, she evidences sensuality.  Something that’s hard to see, but all men pick up on.  The same way it’s hard to quantify why vinyl sounds so much better than CDs.  You just FEEL IT!

I’m convinced we’ve got this rhythmic music dominating the charts today because acoustic music, music with dynamic range, sounds so shitty on CD.  I used to drop the needle on a vinyl record as I took a shower back in the eighties.  Listening to "Crystal River" brings me right back to those days.  Like I’m not alone in the house.

Vinyl is not coming back.  Sales are anemic despite the cheerleaders fueling the press and the indie stores employing it as a profit center.  But vinyl is not the only way to listen to quality sound.  DVD-A and SACD were pretty good.  But they lost because not only were they overpriced, they were sold as surround media…  WHICH THE CONSUMER DOESN’T WANT OR NEED!

Two channel is enough.

Compressed files are portable, but can’t we have something better to tote around?

In order to truly hear the Mudcrutch vinyl album I’ve got to crank it.  The louder it gets, the more the music unfolds.  It’s like I’ve lifted a curtain on the musicians inside the speakers.

And as it gets louder, the sound envelops me.  It’s no longer background.  It’s like getting high.  You know you’re on the drug.  But no drug is as good as music.  Nothing can transport you so far, make you feel so good without fucking you up.

Next Sunday Bruce Springsteen will perform during halftime at the Super Bowl.  Fans will fawn, the press will recite hosannas, the new album’s sales will spike and tickets will fly.  But will it be a success?

Back in ’75, when Bruce appeared simultaneously on the covers of both "Time" and "Newsweek", it was seen as a disaster. Bruised by the perception of overhype, Springsteen retreated and didn’t release another album until three years later.  The dark, brooding "Darkness At The Edge Of Town", which many consider his best.  "Darkness" may not have contained "Born To Run", it certainly didn’t feature "Hungry Heart", but Bruce went back on the road and won fans over one by one, via his live shows.  There was an intimate connection between Springsteen and his fans, that bonded them to him.  Bruce became an icon.  It took the mainstream another half decade to realize it, with "Born In The U.S.A.", but in the world of rock, Bruce was a God, if not THE God.  And isn’t that all that matters?

Somehow we’ve equated ubiquity with success.  Sure, I can understand wanting enough fans and fame to pay your bills and give up your day job, but if you’re always swinging for the fences, playing to the press and the lowest common denominator, does this increase your cred, even your bank account on a long term basis?

Bruce has got a new album.  It’s been available online for weeks.  It sounds terrible.

Literally.  By time it’s been compressed for radio and squeezed down further as files it bounces right off of you.  It sounds lousy on satellite radio.  It doesn’t sound like music.  You’d think the Boss would take a stand.  If Tom Petty releases an audiophile EQ’ed CD, can’t Bruce?

No.  Because Bruce is so busy playing in the stadium, so worried about money, that music has become secondary.

This is a problem facing all recording artists, sound quality.  But we usually count on the leaders to break ground.  But not Springsteen.

Speaking of breaking ground, I’d like to tell you "Working On A Dream" tests limits, that it’s a new Bruce.  But it’s Bob Dylan that does that.  This new album sounds just like the same old guy.  With the big band.  It does not demand listening.

And then there’s the press.  Mostly fawning.  I was reading an article by the editor of the "Guardian" in the "New York Review Of Books".  He spoke of the press’ responsibility.  I can understand the financial community missing the mortgage crisis, but where were the writers?

Sucking at the tit.  Trying to become famous themselves.  Kissing the asses of the players.  Like Maria Bartiromo, flying on Citigroup’s private jet.  The journalists are just like Springsteen.  More concerned with the trappings than the essence.  They need to write good things about the Boss so they can be friends with him.  And his management.  So they can get perks.

The only negative review I’ve read is by the usually sunny Ann Powers in the "Los Angeles Times"

"Working on a Dream"

She said "Working On A Dream" was an album of singles in an era where no one has a hit single.  Funny how she knows the truth and Bruce doesn’t.  If you can’t have a hit single, isn’t now the time to make a statement?

And what kind of statement is selling in Wal-Mart?  My company paid me a lot of money so they can do whatever they want to make their money back?  What’s next, commercial endorsements?

But this is not really about the Boss.  This is about us.  Our culture.  If something generates revenue, one can’t say anything negative about it.  You can’t criticize "Paul Blart: Mall Cop", it was number one two weeks in a row!

But weren’t musicians supposed to be about more than money?  Didn’t they claim dollars didn’t keep you warm at night?  Who is spewing these falsehoods into their ears, making them scamp for every last buck?

Their handlers.  Their labels, managers and agents.  Used to be they got into the industry in order to be closer to the music.  Now they’re in it for the money.  They saw Tommy Mottola make all that cash, they want theirs too.  They want that rich and famous lifestyle.

So, just like with the financial crisis, we’ve got a business heading straight for a cliff and no one will blow the whistle.  BECAUSE EVERYBODY’S MAKING TOO MUCH FUCKING MONEY!

But "Working On A Dream" won’t even sell two million copies in the U.S.  And everybody who goes to the gig wants to hear the old tunes.  Just go and see.  Try visiting a bathroom while Bruce plays a new number, you’ll have to join the queue.

Used to be our musicians were leaders.  Now they’re sheep.  And we’re the poorer for it.