Girl Can’t Help It
There are so many things wrong with Sirius XM I don’t know where to begin. But it all starts with the programming.
Distribution is king. But arrangements have already been made with all the car manufacturers. Sure, it’s important to get on new platforms, but if Sirius XM is banking on its iPhone app for profitability, it might as well go bankrupt now.
XM used to be a cult. Millions strong, people frothed at the mouth when they discussed it. Did you hear this? That? Now, we hear too much of what we already know, which we’ve already heard. What kind of crazy fucked up service is it where there are a hundred plus stations and everybody complains they’re hearing the same damn songs over and over again?
I tried to battle perception, to fight the tide, because despite its failings, Sirius XM is still my listening of choice in the car. I don’t talk on the cell, I just want to bask in the music. But how many times can I hear Ringo’s "It Don’t Come Easy"? And the promos… They’re just as bogus as what’s on terrestrial radio, as if we need to be sold on the service, as if they’re programming for theoretical aliens who’ve never heard music before. The stations are riddled with every radio cliche known to man. Exactly the crap that Lee Abrams excised on XM. It’s so jive.
Still, some of the XM stations are still brilliant. Like Deep Tracks. And the Loft. But Outlaw Country is a shadow of XM’s X Country. And the regular country station is riddled with repeats. Worst is the Bridge. Even housewives like to have sex. Listen to the station, all the rough ends have been shorn off. I like soft rock, but when I hear the promos, I wince. I want surprises. Delivered by normal people, who believe in music, not research, who don’t follow the trades, but spend time checking out music themselves.
And then I stumble upon something like "Girl Can’t Help It".
They’ve neutered the decades channels. The same damn songs again and again. Nothing unknown, and ultimately, nothing unexpected. But then you hear something you don’t know, or barely know, and you have that magic radio moment, when you feel like you want to point your car towards Reno, some destination unknown ten or twelve hours away, just so you can be alone in the car, listening to the radio.
Where do we want to begin with Journey?
Do we want to state it was a completely different band before Steve Perry joined? Or say that we hated the people who loved them? Or that so much of the music was meaningless?
Or do we just want to say that Steve Perry had an incredible voice?
One of my favorite Journey songs is a Steve Perry solo work, "Oh Sherrie". And I’ll admit to even coming to like "Wheel In The Sky", "Any Way You Want It" and "Lights" in their heyday. But I threw out the "Escape" cassette someone gave me. I was afraid someone would see it in my glove box.
And then came the "Sopranos" finale.
Not much was happening. Everybody was having dinner. Maybe Tony was about to be clipped. All we know is there was tension. And playing over this creepy moment was a powerful, sunny song by a band we’d never align with the best TV series of the twenty first century. Then again, Tony did not have eclectic tastes. He was positively mainstream. He remembered his eighties heyday, getting high, driving along to the tunes. So, maybe "Don’t Stop Believin’" was a perfect fit.
What we do know is overnight Journey became legitimized. Enough time had gone by for the haters to admit their guilty pleasure. We could all admit this was a damn powerful song. We didn’t want to stop believing, in the power of great art like the "Sopranos", of powerful rock and roll like "Don’t Stop Believin’".
So I’m about a mile from my house, pushing my satellite radio buttons. And I hear a somewhat familiar hook. I know I’ve heard it before, but I can’t really place it. I look down at the radio readout to see it’s Journey’s "Girl Can’t Help It". Huh?
The song keeps building. It’s missing some of the perfection Clive Davis insists upon. But when the tension is released, it’s exactly like coming. That’s what a great record is, a sexual moment.
Ooh, there’s a fire in his eyes for you
Who knows why you broke up. But you can’t seem to get it back together. You’d talk about her more, but your friends are gonna avoid you if you do, and you need them to get through. Still, you lie awake at night, thinking only of her.
And when he calls her
She tells him that she still cares
That’s the problem. You know it’s going to hurt. But you can’t help but try and connect. And the problem is the feeling is about as good as ever. But the conversation doesn’t end up with you getting back together, but still apart, your guts ripped open once again.
Girl can’t help it, she needs more
The curse of modern society. No one wants to settle, no one wants to get less than he deserves.
Hasn’t found what he’s lookin’ for
He felt that when they broke up he would crawl from the wreckage into a brand new car. But he didn’t realize how much they truly shared, how hard it is to get that far with anybody.
Ooh, nothing stands between love and you
Except everything.
There are millions of members of the opposite sex. You’re surrounded. But you feel positively alone, you’re lonely. What to do?
Turn on the radio. Listen for that song that describes your plight.
And oftentimes, when the track’s a hit, when you first love it, the words don’t apply at all. And then, in your moment of despair, you rediscover it.
These are the moments I’m looking for. The unexpected. "Girl Can’t Help It" is not a Sirius XM staple, I heard it at eleven p.m. on the west coast. There’s no problem hearing "Don’t Stop Believin’", but that won’t get you through the night. You need something just for you. And radio, when done right, is just like that. A hot medium, where you get the impression you’re the only listener extant, and the deejay is spinning the records just for you.
If Sirius XM is going to recover from its tailspin, it’s going to be as a result of its programming. At this point, even Dell and HP make slick computers. But Apple triumphs because of the software. Not only the clean OS, but the built-in apps. Just open your ears, you can’t avoid the cacophony of lemmings testifying. Satellite radio’s throng was never quite as large, but it was just as rabid. But now it’s like the Sculley era, the late eighties and early nineties in Macville, when only the true believers held on. Until Steve returned.
I’d say to bring back Lee Abrams.
Because to Lee, it wasn’t about picking records, it was about a love for radio. The experience of tuning in and finding your one and only friend.
You can hear "Girl Can’t Help It" by Googling it and clicking the LaLa button to play it.
Or you can go to YouTube to hear the same studio version here:
Or, you can dial up this "live" take:
Yes, that’s the dogg himself, Randy Jackson, playing the bass. Check the hair!
And yes, that’s still Neal Schon on guitar, who started off with Carlos. As in Santana.
And fronting the band is the guy in tails, with the 80’s ‘do, Steve Perry.
But what you want to check out most is the crowd.
We used to have no problem pulling tens of thousands to the gig. When you didn’t have to pay an arm and a leg to get in and the songs literally drove the culture.
They’re still standing in the rain
He can’t help it, and she’s just that way
We’re still waiting. We remember the power of music. We’re waiting for it to come back. To be about the music as opposed to profits.
They’re just that way. Like the bankers. Worrying how to make their nut, which has got many more zeros than that of the listeners.
Used to be the music was enough. To not only satiate the audience, but rain coin on the players and their handlers.
It’s still enough.
We don’t have a theft problem, we’ve got a music problem. What’s the modern song that’s going to end the "Sopranos"?
Ooh, there’s a fire in his eyes for you
For you she cries
Ooh do you know she still cries for you
The businessmen don’t talk about the music. And the players are either concerned how to break into the chart, get paid, or are so busy doing solely what they want that no one else can relate.
Still, right now, I don’t give a shit.
Because when you listen to a song as great as "Girl Can’t Help It", no matter how flawed it might be, its magic lifts you up from your seat, causes you twirl around the room like Stevie Nicks, makes you feel like it’s FUCKING GREAT TO BE ALIVE!
