I have a friend who killed himself. And not long before he did the deed, he told me he “married well.”

I know, I know, that seems like a non sequitur. Kind of like turning on your computer and finding out Tony Scott jumped off a bridge. What did Joni Mitchell sing, “We all live so close to that line and so far from satisfaction”?

But Joni was on a search for truth. Taylor Swift is on a search for fame.

I don’t know if she called her new album “Red” because I told her in a phone call to listen to Joni’s “Blue.” And I really don’t need to piss Ms. Swift off more than I already have, but what I find so fascinating is Taylor Swift blinked. Fearful of losing her fame, her power, her place on the hit parade, she collaborated with the hitmakers du jour. And so what we’ve got is a bouncy, idiotic song cowritten by Max Martin and Shellback that will go up the charts but not make a bit of difference. Yes, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is a hit. A certified one. But it’s completely meaningless.

Hell, watch this video:

Taylor Swift – Never Ever Getting Back Together Official Parody (Cover) from the guy’s side

Instead, we’ve got the mainstream media trying to figure out who she wrote the song about, as if it’ll solve global warming, end the war in Afghanistan and give free health care to all. Ain’t that America. Where it’s only about the diversion.

I live for “Newsroom.”

We all need something to live for. Something to look forward to, that keeps us going. Once life becomes meaningless, we end it. And that’s unthinkable. Maybe Tony Scott had inoperable brain cancer, in retrospect my friend had undiagnosed bipolar disorder and was in the throes of a bummer of a depression, but for the rest of us, what are we living for?

Are we living to follow Snooki?

Are we living to accumulate so many toys we’ll be the envy of our block?

I’m here to tell you one thing… Nobody else cares. You’re so alone you’ve got no idea. See if they’re talking about Tony Scott next week. People haven’t got time for the past, only for the future.

And I thought about what my friend had to say because I was reading this book “Mr. Peanut,” and the main character was married to someone from a bad background. who had no friends, and I asked myself…is this what love’s about? Does life have to be this hard? Do you have to endure the mental illness of another?

We all want someone we can count on. Someone who can dot the i’s and cross the t’s and won’t abandon us.

But on “Newsroom,” Mac abandoned Will. Well, not exactly. She rushed into the arms of Brian, because Brian had rejected her and now he wanted her back.

That’s an irresistible pull.

Have you been dumped?

To say it doesn’t feel good is a gross understatement. You never get over it. Not if you were married, not if you stood up in front of friends and family and swore in front of clergy that it was forever. All you’ve got is unanswered questions. You review every detail of your behavior…did you cause it to happen?

Usually it’s got nothing to do with you. It’s all about the other person. But as much as you hear that, it doesn’t penetrate, it doesn’t sink in.

So I’m reading the Middlebury alumni magazine and they’re hyping a book. Entitled “Leaving Sophie Dean.” And it’s my kind of tome, it’s all about relationships. But when I go on Amazon, despite an almost five star average, it’s only got sixteen reviews. Mmm… Were those written by the author, by friends and family?

We’re all suspicious now.

When I told this story to my shrink today he asked me if I’d read that article in the “New Yorker,” about the marathoning dentist who pulled a Rosie Ruiz…

Marathon Man

You see none of us want to feel left out. We all want to feel important.

Not everybody can be important.

So I started reading “Sophie Dean,” the sample chapter, but I was reluctant to buy it, not because I was afraid of losing ten bucks, but because I didn’t want to lose that much time, it was all about plot and there was very little meaning.

So I went through my sample list and settled on “Mr. Peanut,” recommended by an author friend of mine and a subscriber.

It’s two years old.

That’s what people don’t realize about music. New is irrelevant. It’s what lasts. And today everything’s available. When will it be discovered?

I could not put “Mr. Peanut” down. If I tell you anything, I’ll ruin it. Then again, I’ve never heard environmental threats described so well. Getting caught in the undertow. Hiking a trail so narrow you’re too scared to go forwards or backwards.

And I’d recommend it.

But it’s not easy.

Everybody wants everything easy and dumb. They want the trophy without any work. And if you don’t give it to them, they cry like a baby. They want to be rich and famous, they want all the accoutrements, when the real story is they wouldn’t make them happy anyway.

Happiness is about experiences. Reading “Mr. Peanut.” Watching “Newsroom.”

And “Newsroom” has been trashed by the critics. Because it’s not what they want it to be. Fair and balanced, safe, pabulum. “Newsroom” is about truth. Can you handle the truth?

The truth is this is your one and only life. Don’t screw it up.

If you’re feeling safe in your twenties, the ditch is right around the corner.

If you’ve got no answers at that age, don’t worry, things will become clear.

Health is everything. You live long enough and you know this.

As are relationships, both love and friendship. Without others, you’ve got nothing.

And we live for art, for story and feeling. And when we find something great, something exquisite, we tell everybody about it.

I’m telling you about “Newsroom” because there are some truths in politics. There aren’t two sides to every story.

And I’m telling you about “Mr. Peanut” because a book should be more than the story, it should be about life, and “Mr. Peanut” is.

And life is complicated. Full of choices.

Don’t be afraid to admit you were wrong. Don’t be afraid to retrace your steps and chart a new course. Don’t be afraid to change direction, just because you’ve invested in the path you’re on.

We’re human beings. We’re complicated. One day we’re up, the next we’re down, and we don’t always know why. If your life is smooth, you’re doing it wrong, if you never feel uncomfortable, you’re not taking any risk.

I’m trying to figure it all out. And it gets harder as you get older. Because you lose your optimism and you see how hard it is to accomplish anything. When you’re sixteen you want to be a professional athlete, a movie director and an author. Get old enough and you find it’s almost impossible to do one thing.

Sweat the small stuff. Don’t let the little things slide. Life is only about the little things. Whether it be the design of the iPhone or the way that girl in Biology catches your eye and lets it linger, doesn’t turn away immediately. Pay attention to the details. They’ll help you crack the code.

Not everything is good. Not everything is worthwhile. Not everyone makes it.

And if you want none of the above, that’s cool.

But if you want to accomplish something, anything, know that it’s damn difficult and you’re on a solo trip and even though you’re going for the grand prize the reward is the journey. Because it can end any minute. And although the solution is satisfying, it’s the puzzle that’s thrilling.

” Newsroom ”

” Mr. Peanut ”

Joni Mitchell ” Song For Sharon ”

Taylor Swift ” We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together ”

I was working for a crook movie producer and we’d started a record label and through the attorney du jour, they kept on changing, abandoning ship once they realized they were never going to be paid, we got a connection to Eric Burdon, and we sauntered down to the Country Club in Reseda to make a deal.

It was one of the most disheartening nights of my life. You see Eric was burned out and all about the money. It was fifteen years since his last big hit. He was jaded, he’d seen it all. And he wasn’t going to get excited about two little pishers come to rescue his career.

We never made that deal.

But I learned a lesson.

It’s all about the money. If you’re working for free, you’re being taken advantage of.

Now this is not a rant against free music. You’ve got to make it available in today’s world. And when you start out, you always have to play for free. But once you get traction, there are tons of scoundrels who’ll lavish you with praise, kiss your butt and try to get you to work for nothing or close to it.

Don’t.

Then again, if you’ve ever made it, you know this. There’s no one more business-savvy than an old, wizened rock star. He’s been ripped off and abused so many times he knows the score, even though you don’t. You want him to appear for free at your charity show, it’s a good cause, but without him there is no show and it might burn out the market for a future tour. But you can’t see this. But an old rock star can.

I haven’t seen Eric Burdon in decades. Although I’ve mellowed as to his response, as evidenced above. I don’t know if he was truly burned out or just suspicious, deservedly so.

And I thought about this when I heard “We Gotta Get Out Of This Place” on the satellite last night. You see it sounded so GOOD!

I’m talking the production here, Mickie Most’s work. Like it was cut in a cavernous basement where illicit things take place. Somewhere you’re dying to go yet afraid to enter. That was the Animals’ magic. They were dark. Without resorting to outfits and outrageous statements in the press. It was all embodied in the music.

“The House Of The Rising Sun”

This was the breakthrough. My mother bought the 45 and brought it to summer camp on visiting day. She’d purchased three records, this, the Shirelles’ “Foolish Little Girl” and something I can’t remember, all on the recommendation of Carl Goldfield, who she had run into at the discount store.

You see Carl was cool. What he said counted. Even though he was only fourteen.

And I was disappointed… The Shirelles? I can now see “Foolish Little Girl”‘s value, and I always liked “The House Of The Rising Sun,” but I felt my mother should have bought me…something different.

But isn’t that how kids are, despite your mom’s best effort, you’re still a bit disappointed.

The Animals’ rendition of this song was not the first, but it became the standard, the classic.

“Don’t Bring Me Down”

This is my favorite.

Yes, the organ pumps and the guitar stings, but it’s Eric’s vocal that puts it over the top, that truly endears, the way he goes from intimate, friendly, to ANGER! He’s been giving his best effort and you’re gonna bring him down?

Today’s hit music is mindless.

This is not.

“We Gotta Get Out Of This Place”

That dirty old part of the city…of Newcastle upon Tyne. An industrial cesspool. That the Animals emanated from. This was not the squeaky-clean Beatles from Liverpool. Eric Burdon had a bad complexion, he looked like he’d fight you in the alley, the band was a bit more dangerous than the rest of the British Invasion, you couldn’t bring them home to mother, but you wanted to hang with them.

And the melodic chorus was the singalong anthem of the fall of ’65.

“Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood”

How dark can you get?

In the sunny world we live in today, you can’t express emotions like this. Everybody shines up their personality to get on the reality show, you’ve got no problems unless they’re warm and fuzzy or telegenic.

But that’s not real life. Real life is more complicated. Riddled with angst and disappointment.

This doesn’t sound like someone famous complaining about love, just YOU!

(Meanwhile, the original recording was done by Nina Simone, I’ve included it here.)

“It’s My Life”

The concept has been eclipsed in song by Billy Joel’s monster hit with a bouncy vibe but almost none of the emotion of this classic.

It’s a hard world to get a break in

Ain’t that the truth!

Hear what I say
I’m gonna ride the serpent
No more time spent sweatin’ rent
Hear my command
I’m breakin’ loose
It ain’t no use
Holdin’ me down
Stick around

Whew! This is the determination it takes to lift yourself up by the bootstraps and into a better life…do you want to come along? Do you believe in him, that all his frustration and lack of complacency will lead you to a better life?

“Bring It On Home To Me”

You wonder where Robert Plant got it from? Listen to that vocal!

Yeah! YEAH! Yeah! YEAH! Yeah! YEAH!

(And, of course, Sam Cooke wrote it and performed it originally.)

“Help Me Girl”

It’s got that feel of the basement club in “Quadrophenia.”

Technically this is after the band broke up and Eric went solo, but it was still billed as Eric Burdon & the Animals.

“When I Was Young”

It was originally a French hit by Charles Aznavour and Georges Garvarentz…but to say Eric makes it his own is an understatement. He adds an element of frustration…

Listen to the Aznavour original, I’ve added it to the playlist, it’s entitled “Hier Encore”…it’s almost a completely different song, you can hear the regret, but Burdon expands it into something unforeseen. That’s the mark of a great A&R man, someone who can find a diamond in the rough, someone who can envision what a song can be.

“San Franciscan Nights”

The intro sounded cheesy even back then! Then again, what do Englishmen, never mind from Newcastle upon Tyne, know about California?

Only that they were intrigued and ultimately enraptured.

Listen past the intro…it sounds like flower power, and I mean that in a good way! Scott McKenzie’s “San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair)” became the anthem, but “San Franciscan Nights” ran shotgun, it too got airplay, it too made the point.

“Monterey”

This was written by the new band, after it appeared at the festival. And it sounds just like that experience, all about improvisation, with an edge, it radiates possibility, it made you want to go. It’s still Eric, but it’s a far cry from the original British Invasion hits.

“Sky Pilot”

This was the last hurrah. Although it reached number 14 on the pop chart, it was a staple on the nascent FM band, in its seven and a half minute iteration. The flanging endears itself to you. Back in ’68, everything was up for grabs. And this was the music we listened to.

And then Eric Burdon was done. He was suddenly an oldies act. He’d transitioned through so much, different backup musicians, from British Invasion to California consciousness, but even though “Sky Pilot” was perfect FM fodder, Eric was ultimately seen as what came before, in an era where most were only interested in the trendsetting new, like Jimi Hendrix, who was produced and brought to fame by the Animals’ old bassist, Chas Chandler.

And on one hand, these Animals tracks are in the rearview mirror, you know ’em if you lived through them, otherwise they’ve been forgotten, even oldies radio has moved on. But they are not curios, they are not purely moments in time, at their best, they’re transcendent concoctions that will last forever. Just like the Brits discovered American blues and were inspired to create these great records, there’s an entire generation just waiting to be exposed to the Animals. They could make a comeback. Because of the pure unadulterated sound, it hits you in a physical way. The records are an assault, and at other times they creep up on you, inject you with their venom. They are undeniable. And unlike so much of the music of the sixties, they still sound fresh today.

Spotify link

Previous Rhinofy playlists

That’s what a hamburger’s all about.

Five Guys is toast. I love their burgers, but I’m done with the place. It’s the over-the-top loud music and the can’t-give-a-shit employees. Just try to get them to turn the 80’s hits down, it’s impossible, someone at headquarters set the dB level, which is enough to get them sued for deafness, the employees’ hands are tied, if you can even get them to pay attention, they’re so busy b.s.’ing in a backstage party behind the counter. Yes, it’s the only burger place with my favorite drink on tap, Caffeine Free Diet Coke, but I’m never setting foot in one again. And neither is just about everyone else, every time I go it’s just about empty. Meanwhile, whatever you think of Chick-Fil-A’s policy on gays, you can’t get near the place. They’re on opposite sides of the street in Northridge. One is cascading with patrons, the other is empty.

I’ve had a rough day. And when the hunger pangs hit my stomach I just couldn’t fathom the food in my fridge. I needed something that would satisfy, titillate my taste buds. Yes, that’s how far I’ve come, my excess of choice, my vice, is food. I gave up alcohol decades ago. I was never a smoker, I was never an imbiber of coffee, but give me some good junk food and I’m sold.

Of course, gourmet is better. I’m sick of low quality crap. But junk food can be instant, fast, and sometimes you need to fill the hankering, you’ve got to get that immediate hit, and my go-to place is In-N-Out.

Now word of the establishment has reached the east coast, even though you can’t partake there. Kind of like Coors in the seventies. It was manna in New England. But burgers and fries don’t travel well. Then again, if you do travel, there’s an In-N-Out right by LAX, go for the experience.

And the main reason In-N-Out doesn’t travel is because of fresh. That’s how everything’s got to be. Quality control is everything.

Then again, QC is everything at McDonald’s, but that emporium is shooting too low. With its plastic shakes and bland burgers (we all know the fries are great!) In-N-Out is about perfecting the roadside burger. It’s the McDonald’s of your dreams. The food may not come with toys, but you’ve got a smile on your face just the same.

The drive-thru is backed up for blocks.

And it’s not easy to get a parking spot.

But as you approach the building, you feel the joy. The patrons sitting at the picnic tables, devouring their goodies.

SoCal may be emblematic of summer, but the dirty little secret is it’s not that hot. Oh, it bakes inland, but most nights by the beach you need a jacket. But there are a few weeks a year just warm enough this is unnecessary.

Tonight was one of those nights.

And there was a line to order. Peopled by enough ethnicities to make the Tea Party gag. This was the Washington Boulevard In-N-Out, by Costco, a veritable melting pot of color and race.

But no one would pull a gun here. That’s just not the vibe.

The vibe is efficiency.

There are three cashiers. And each and every one of them is focused on a customer. There’s no bullshitting between them, no talk of last night’s date. You see they’re well-trained and they want that upward mobility, In-N-Out promotes from within.

And you can truly have it your way. There’s the legendary “secret menu”:

In-N-Out Burger’s “Secret Menu” Revealed

That’s too secret for me. But I love when they ask if I want onions on my burger. I LOVE onions.

And I always ask for the fries well-done. Which makes them kind of squeaky and oh-so-tasty. Imagine being able to have McDonald’s fries done your way. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

And the shakes are thick and real. It’s like slurping a fudgesicle. I save it for dessert.

And you’ve got to wait a few minutes for your food, everything’s cooked to order, and when my number was finally called, I went to the ketchup stand and found it empty. I immediately reported this failure to the man behind the counter and his compatriot, a young woman, pulled a move worthy of the NBA, reaching around him and delivering a plethora of squeeze packets to my tray. She didn’t want me to wait. Some things are best devoured hot.

And to say the meal was satisfying would be an understatement. All my troubles slipped away. It was a little bit of heaven.

And it wasn’t only the food that mattered. I felt like I belonged. I didn’t need to check in, I didn’t need to cough up my e-mail address, no one badgered me, there was just a feedback loop between worker and customer, that we were enlightened, that we were doing it a better way.

P.S. Meanwhile, having not visited In-N-Out since eating at Danny Meyer’s Shake Shack, I must say, Danny makes a better burger. It’s the meat. He shoots higher. Pat LaFrieda makes the difference. But Danny’s fries are a disappointment. His shakes are stellar, but probably a bit upscale for most people, very thick, very ice creamy, very chocolaty. But you can see why there’s always a line around the block. People respond to quality. You don’t have to do everything, just a couple of things, really well.

P.P.S. I came home from Five Guys and I searched Yelp, to see if anybody else complained about the loud music. EVERYBODY complained about it. That’s what I want, a company so busy playing to the business press that it ignores its customers.

P.P.P.S. Everybody keeps saying you’ve got to be new and different, that you can’t stay in the past. That’s complete hogwash. McDonald’s may have upgraded its buildings, but In-N-Out looks like it’s stuck in the fifties. And it looked this way even back in the seventies, when it was totally unhip.

P.P.P.P.S. Hip is overrated. Almost no one’s that hip. At In-N-Out you can cast aside the need to project an image, it’s not about the right table, about preferential service, it’s about being one of the guys and gals at the best damn hamburger joint in Southern California, maybe the world!

In-N-Out

From: Scott McKain
Subject: Re: Beck’s Sheet Music Album

Bob —

For quite a while, I have read your insight regarding traditional media versus what’s really happening today in terms of gaining both recognition and advancing your career.  Even though my business is a bit different as an author and speaker (although I’m also trying to move product and book gigs), I had a pretty dramatic example this week of how right you are.

On Tuesday, USA Today ran a story that not only featured me, but had two pictures — one of me on the masthead of the Money section, and another that was on page three that was, I swear, the biggest photo I think I’ve ever seen in that publication.  We were ecstatic…it was like winning the publicity lottery.

The article featured everything I could’ve hoped for…said I’ve traveled over 100,000 miles this year to gigs, worked internationally including Dubai and Sweden, successful author…and that even though I’m a fearful flyer, I do what it takes in order to take care of business.

Guess how many phone calls we’ve received to book a date as a result of that incredible, Godsend of traditional publicity?  As of Thursday evening…none.  Eighteen million readers…not one call.

Don’t get me wrong…my ego loved watching people at the hotel and in the airport on Tuesday reading the story and seeing my picture.  But, it created zero business for us so far.

On the other hand, one little story about a taxi driver I had in Jacksonville, Florida that I put up on YouTube — giving people a chance to see and hear a portion of the program I do — has generated about $200K in bookings in the past twelve months.

It never would have occurred to me that a video I edited on my Mac and uploaded from my house would have a more dramatic impact on my career than two huge pictures and a perfect story in USA Today.  But, it did.

Please don’t misunderstand…I’m thrilled and grateful they ran the article.  However, the “career maker” for me was a strong piece of material, complemented by a good performance, that potential fans could see and share.

Thanks for helping me get my priorities straight, Bob.

Scott

YouTube clip

Blog post with pic of “USA Today”

“USA Today” article

Note: A careful reading of the “USA Today” article makes clear the focus is on fear of flying more than Mr. McKain’s career. Therefore, this is not a perfect equation. But many people believe all ink is extremely beneficial. Furthermore, watch the YouTube clip. It does sell Mr. McKain quite well, you get what his act is all about. In other words, you can utilize the digital tools of the new generation to demonstrate your wares and reap rewards. If what you say has value, it reaches people and goes viral. Furthermore, YouTube is free. It requires only that you make an effort. Which is better done by you than someone you hire. And online sheen is less important than content. Don’t worry about getting it perfect, worry about getting it out there.