It’s over.

That’s what the entertainment business does best, pile on. Rather than innovate, it imitates. If one western works, they do ten. Ditto with boy bands and singing shows.

What’s interesting is “The Voice” and “X Factor” piled on a dying platform. Yup, it’s not about ratings, but the underlying construct. In other words, it doesn’t matter how many albums you sell, but whether people listen to the music. A hit band with a lousy record is already on the oldies circuit, it just doesn’t know it yet.

And speaking of knowing it, don’t Keith Urban and Nicki Minaj? Aren’t they both smart enough to avoid climbing on to a sinking ship? Top-heavy with stars, but sans any competing talent?

Yup, what we’ve learned is you can scour America, promise instant exposure, and there’s still very little talent. Certainly obvious talent. Let this be a lesson to you wannabes. It’s not that you haven’t gotten your chance, it’s that you’re just not good enough. As for those who will break through, they’ll be radically different, just like cop shows supplanted westerns and eventually we got nighttime soaps and police procedurals. The spoils go to he who comes up with the next big thing, not the person who does a great imitation of what once was. So you’ve got the range of Mariah Carey and can melisma with the best of them… Even Mariah, the progenitor, has trouble denting the chart these days!

Yes, if you want to make it, think different. Hell, remember when Apple was a pooh-poohed also-ran? Told to liquidate by Michael Dell? Who’s laughing now?

People have seen the movie. There’s nothing left behind the curtain. Which is why “X Factor” ratings were so terrible. Isn’t it funny that when it all comes down at the end the big winner from “Idol” will be Ryan Seacrest and not Simon Cowell?

Ryan realized it was not about him. That he could be replaced. So he diversified. It’s not his radio gig that keeps him current, but his TV production duties. You may think it’s trash, but “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” is a ratings juggernaut and couldn’t be more different from “Idol” whereas “X Factor” is essentially a clone, requiring you to split the differences between the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync to separate it from the original.

Now that “X Factor” is fading, not only in the U.S., but the U.K., what does Simon Cowell do? He’s a one trick pony. And that pony ain’t so hot. It’s not like he’s Richard Russell, bringing to market Adele and the cavalcade of innovators at XL, Simon’s about lowest common denominator crap, and that’s harder to sell than ever. And what can he be other than a judge, a panelist on late night TV? He’s barely different from Robin Leach, now relegated to doing commercials after once giving us a peek into the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

You wanted the “Idol” paradigm to die? It did, it quit making stars, it was a flawed concept. But it was always better TV than music, peppered with drama and antagonism. But we learned by putting J. Lo and Tyler on “Idol” that musicians make lousy judges and if you won’t go negative, you’ve got lousy TV.

As for “The Voice”… It’s a gimmick. A train-wreck that was successful before they closed the door on the concept.

I just don’t get all the musician/celebrities joining up.

Britney? We all want to see if she melts down. Once. Not for an entire TV season. As for Demi Lovato… Asking us to care is like being interested in Miley Cyrus’s acting career… Huh?

You get in early and you get out quick. That’s the key to success in the entertainment business.

But these “stars” never got that memo. They’re dumb. Which is why music is a second class citizen, peopled by idiots who think exposure trumps credibility, that money is more important than music.

You’re a musician. Sing!

They were fantastic!

I was horrified by the venue. Once upon a time the Universal Amphitheatre was topless, it was a magical place that was the toast of L.A. Then they put a roof on it. So the neighbors would stop complaining and they could do shows year-round. Now it’s like the bar scene in “Star Wars.” Post-modern. So laden with advertising you’d think Live Nation was having a closeout sale and was planning to close up shop immediately.

There was a Heineken beer garden with Red Bull tables.

Drinks were served at multiple Tecate stands. There was advertising for a supermarket. And when you reached down to place your overpriced drink in its holder in front of your seat, you found it was wrapped in a Bud Light sticker. Something is terribly wrong in music. It’s got no heart, no soul, it’s mostly about the money. And if you think the public does not know, you’re sorely mistaken.

I didn’t see a single person I knew the whole damn night.

I expected the venue to be empty. Because they didn’t even have someone to park your car backstage. I mean I can do it myself, but usually they charge or do it as a courtesy/security. Finally someone came out from the building and lifted the tape and allowed me to park. I expected the venue to be a ghostland, a financial and emotional disaster.

But it was 85% full.

I didn’t understand it. The band didn’t have a U.S. record deal. They hadn’t been in the States in twenty years. Who’d know?

So it must have been papered. To avoid embarrassment. Punters out for a night of next to free entertainment.

But when the band hit the stage there was thunderous applause and a standing ovation. These people knew every word. Who were they? Kids raised on MTV? The average age was about thirty. Huh?

And at first I was a bit disappointed. You see they were a little rough. Emphasis on “little.” Because we expect perfection. Because so many of today’s live performances are not. They’re basically singing to hard drive. So the kids won’t be disappointed. With a lot of whiz-bang effects to make sure their short attention spans don’t wander.

And Marie Fredriksson… There was something wrong with her.

Now I know there’s something wrong with her. She had a brain tumor. They said she’s fully recovered. That she was healthy. But she’s not. She doesn’t walk so well and according to Wikipedia, she’s blind in one eye.

But she can still sing. Boy can she sing!

Like I said, it took a few numbers for her to warm up. And the band too. Because they were playing live. What a concept! This show made you want to go home, practice and play, they were having such a good time, it was the essence of what once was. Music!

You know the Swedes. They can do what we can times two. Maybe because it’s so damn cold and dark they’ve got no option. The lead guitarist could play in Guns N’ Roses. With his distortion and technical flair. Oh, he didn’t look the part. But didn’t you hear that music comes from the inside?

As for the drummer. He looked like he just came in from working on the railroad. With that cap and long gray hair. He’s the original guy. But he had power rivaling John Bonham. He was truly the engine driving the band.

And then there was the producer on keyboards and a bass player and Per. Who looked much younger than his years but has been a rock star in Sweden for twenty five years. And just about as long on the rest of the Continent, in the rest of the world. Yes, Roxette are superstars everywhere but here.

And it’s easy to see why. It’s because of the songs!

You know, they’ve got THE LOOK!

Sure, it was a big MTV hit, but that stinging guitar riff might not be “All Right Now” but it’s close. You couldn’t help but stand there and sing the “na-nas” at the top of your lungs when the band broke down and let the audience perform. Which happened multiple times. And, like I said, everybody knew every word.

And they did “It Must Have Been Love.”

And when they did “Perfect Love,” anybody would have swooned. Just Per and Marie. You know that authentic sound of an acoustic guitar, played perfectly by a master, the ringing truth that emanates? That’s the essence of music, not the cacophony, but the simplicity. A little is enough. A Pete Townshend so eloquently put it, “there once was a note pure and easy.”

And you can bet Roxette listened to all those Who records. Because history is important if you want to make it big, top the charts. You’ve got to have a foundation.

And I ignored Roxette at first. Just another lightweight pop confection. But then I got infected by “Joyride,” I couldn’t hear it enough, I taped the video from MTV so I could play it whenever I wanted, this is what we did way back when, before the Internet era.

And I loved it so much, I decided to play the album.

And that’s when I truly got hooked. By “Watercolours In The Rain.” It’s like a Led Zeppelin record. Starting with twisting acoustic guitar, then getting heavy and electric and going back again. If you like “Ten Years Gone” you’ll like “Watercolours In The Rain.”

And there were other winners on the “Joyride” album. Like “The Big L.” and “Church Of Your Heart,” which was done acoustically as the final encore. But what totally blew me away was last night’s performance of “Spending My Time.”

Funny how these songs are in your DNA. I haven’t played “Spending Your Time” in years, but I know every note, because if you’ve ever broken up, you know it’s true, with a feel exactly like you feel, wistful.

Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small
I stare at the wall
Hoping that you think of me too

That’s it exactly! That’s the essence of disconnection, of breaking up. You’re experiencing emotional torture, are they too? Do you cross their mind, or are they happy and smiling in their brand new life?

Per and Marie didn’t have instant success. They both were journeymen before they hooked up. And worked together before they broke through. You see music is a life. With twists and turns. And just maybe, you’ll get lucky. Like when an exchange student returns to Minneapolis from Sweden and gets your record played on the local radio station.

But the old men in suits don’t believe in anything this simple anymore. They don’t want talent. They want Silly Putty, something malleable they can put through their machine, that they can squeeze and manipulate, a product to be consumed today and then discarded tomorrow.

I’m not saying that there’s not a future for electronic music or rap, but the essence of the business, the bedrock, is songs. That’s how you endure, by writing nuggets of truth that you present in such a way the public finds them irresistible.

That’s what Roxette does.

That’s what they did last night.

Subject: Tesla – 5 Man Acoustical jam

Bob,

The behind the scenes story is even a bit better and I’ve copied Cliff who may be able to shed some more light. Queenie did suggest we play accoustically at her club but we couldn’t just play 1 show, so we booked an acoustic tour (I can’t remember how many shows).

Well, before a show (either in Boston or Worcester), we went up to WAAF and played a couple of songs live on the air. Thought nothing of it, then finished up the tour including Philly which we recorded (one of us had the idea to record the show).

Several weeks (?) later, the Geffen radio/sales people in New England called to ask us on which album we had recorded “Signs” because the phones were ringing off the hook at ‘AAF. Well it turns out that WAAF had recorded our little acoustic fly by and were playing Signs in rotation.

Fortunately (see above) we had recorded a show for the archives…
1+1 equaled 3 and we had an acoustic record.

I’m guessing Cliff suggested Signs as a cover (or the band) and I probably pushed to record the Philly show because we had just finished working with the Stones on Steel Wheels and I had gotten to work with Jagger as he put together 25×5 which was a video summary of the Stones (old TV shows, news footage etc). After watching “video history” I was determined that all of our artists document anything special they were doing (or hope it would turn out to be special).

While the theory may not have applied to Tesla (although they were fast becoming a big band), it definitely applied to the filming of the making of Metallica’s Black Album (and we all got that one right!)

5 Man…was and is one of great management highlights. Which just shows, most times it’s better to be lucky than smart.

Regards
Peter
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From: Cliff Burnstein
Subject: Re: Tesla – 5 Man Acoustical jam

Just to add: Ron Valerie was the program director at WAAF. He was in the bathroom while Tesla did the interview and acoustic songs. The live feed was piped in all through their offices inc. the bathroom. Valerie heard “Signs” while making his restroom visit. He put it right into rotation after that, unbeknownst to us at the time. Ron is still at ‘AAF today.

I want you to listen to Fred Armisen on Alec Baldwin’s “Here’s The Thing” podcast. Because he talks about giving up.

Sometimes you’ve got to do that.

Fred was in a band called Trenchmouth. With his buddies. For ten years. They toured not only the U.S., but Europe. With no roadies, lugging their own equipment up stairs, sleeping on floors. And Fred loved every minute of it.

Then he saw a forty year old drummer doing the same and he said “I don’t want to be that guy.”

There’s a fallacy that if you just work hard and long enough, you’ll make it. People heard about the 10,000 hours but didn’t bother to read Gladwell’s book. There are other factors, like timing.

I know this myself. I was frustrated with my reach and then all of a sudden the Internet blew up and I could reach people around the world for free! Before that… Positively desultory.

But even if the timing is bad, maybe you’re just not good enough. It’s hard to accept, but it could be true. Instead of slogging it out, maybe you should move on, consider music a hobby. Fred still plays his drums, just not professionally.

And there’s always a story behind the story, it’s never as seamless as these successes portray it. But Fred started filming bands (videotaping, before the YouTube era) at SXSW about their careers, using funny voices, and he built an audience for his productions. He went on tour with them. After playing with the Blue Man Group in Chicago for two years. Sure, that was drudgery, but he got paid and he learned so many things. Like the audience is there to be entertained.

And then, Fred moved to L.A. And he made friends.

That’s how you make it in the music business. On both sides of the fence, businessman and player, via friends.

And now he’s on SNL and “Portlandia.”

And none of that would have happened if he continued to believe he must be a musician, that it was his only option, banging his head against the wall as his audience aged and he starved.

You can play. You can be a fan. Not everyone has to be a professional. Not everyone is gonna make it.

Fred dreamed of being as successful as the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

It never happened.

Fred Armisen on “Here’s The Thing”