What’s in it for me?

Now if you’re planning to see this flick, and you want to go in cold, stop reading right now. Not that I’m gonna reveal any more than a typical reviewer, but I want to evade the mountain of abuse I’m gonna get from those who no longer realize that secrets are passe, and forgotten just about as fast. Hell, Jill Kelley was last week’s news!

This movie has gotten the best reviews this year. I wish I could concur. I wish I could recommend you see it. But it’s really two different movies in one. A serious drama and a screwball comedy. “Rachel Getting Married” and “It Happened One Night.” Furthermore, who knew that bipolar disease could be cured by love? You leave the theatre having enjoyed the ride, but believing whatever substance was involved was thrown out the window in a quest for laughs.

Yes, Bradley Cooper is bipolar. As a result, he loses his wife.

Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. He finds her in the shower with a colleague from school, as his wedding song plays on the boom box.

This all happens early on, don’t get pissed at me, this is the kind of stuff you see in the trailer. Hell, the trailer was the best part of “Argo”…it included almost all the footage of Alan Arkin and John Goodman, the former of whom could very well be nominated for an Oscar, deservedly so. Then again, if you’re involved with the CIA are you really worried about ruining a take?

Ah, now I’ve gotten too inside baseball. If you haven’t seen “Argo” you’re clueless as to what I’m talking about. But I don’t recommend that flick either. It’s great, but then the bad guys chase the good ones down the runway and as a friend of mine said…in reality, the jeep would be blown off the tarmac!

So, Bradley Cooper is deservedly pissed. I mean could you get that image out of your head? Of your spouse in the shower with someone from work, while your wedding song is playing in the background? Could you ever hear that song again? Hell, I can’t even go to the same restaurants we used to frequent.
Yup, the first half of “Silver Linings Playbook” freaked me out. Because it was all about unrequited love. Wanting to get back together…even though the other has sent strong signals it’s over. Hell, sometimes they even want to get back together, all you’ve got to do is say yes, but you know you can’t do it, that your life will end if you go back, it takes every ounce of strength to say no.

But you don’t stop thinking about them.

And that’s the movie I thought I was seeing. About Bradley Cooper’s realization Nikki wasn’t coming back.

That wasn’t the movie I saw.

The movie I saw was mentally ill boy meets mentally ill girl and they fall in love, with a bookie dad and a Marisa Tomei performance in the middle. Yes, when Jennifer Lawrence points out the truth to Robert DeNiro, and DeNiro ultimately nods his head in agreement, you smile.

But before the movie takes this turn you cry.

Jennifer Lawrence’s husband has died. How… You know how guilt plagues you forever? That comes into play. And then she sleeps with everything that moves and then she wants Bradley Cooper to participate in this dance contest with her and that’s when she comes up with the initial line…

That’s what stuns me about life. The takers. If you don’t say no, they’ll never give up. They play friends, but really they just want a favor. That’s why I never talk on the phone. You’ve got to endure twenty minutes of weather and sports to get to the part where they ask you for something you don’t want to give.

And part of you likes them.

But they’re never really interested in you.

Can you just say no?

But the givers are afraid of being closed out. Of being rude.

But at some point you become fed up. Like Jennifer Lawrence. You’re mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.

And that’s when you start to get what you want.

Making Dollars: Clearing Up Spotify Payment Confusion

Artists don’t like change. Despite the ability to make records on their computers and reach all their fans via e-mail and social media, they want said fans to buy albums, preferably in physical form, in prodigious numbers, they want to get rich!

Want to get rich?

Go into tech.

That’s what will.i.am has done:

Will.i.am debuts line of hardware to supercharge Apple iPhone

You may not like his music, but will.i.am is far from stupid. He’s going where the money is, just like Bono.

But that’s got little to do with Napster and more to do with income inequality. To get the best and the brightest making music we need artists to be able to make the same amount as bankers. Now they’re not even in the same league. Don’t beat up on Spotify, attack the Koch brothers.

As for Spotify…it may be history.

Microsoft is a lumbering giant with a flawed operating system strategy but music is free on Windows 8. Just like on Spotify. While you’re attacking Daniel Ek, the titan of Redmond is doing its best to make inroads into the streaming sphere, hell, that’s where all the money will be, just ask Google, it paid a fortune for YouTube which made nothing and is now generating significant revenues.

And Spotify’s inability to engage the artist community, to get them to testify about the service like they once did for MTV, means that it might get killed by MOG, which is revamping its service in a matter of days. Do you really expect Jimmy Iovine not to bend the arms of his acts to promote MOG? If Jimmy can make a mediocre headphone line the industry leader by utilizing stars and design, do you really think he can’t put a stake in the heart of Spotify?

And then there’s Apple… It’s just about the right time for the Cupertino giant to enter this sphere. To do it elegantly. With search that works.

So while you’re railing at Spotify and its payments, you fail to realize that the streaming train has left the station and it’s only a matter of who is Cornelius Vanderbilt, who eventually triumphs.

Read the above article. Or at least part of it.

Cold, calm analysis beats vitriol every day of the week.

We’re moving to a new paradigm. One in which nobody owns anything and you get paid based on usage.

You stream movies. Cell phone calls are streaming. Both have moved into an all you can eat payment formula. Why do you think music is any different?

If only you could truly erase the past…

Watching the Geffen doc. last night one was constantly struck by the fact that despite having oodles of money and access to the best medical professionals available, David Geffen, Cher and especially Marlo Thomas had tighter skin…but they looked…different.

I’m not sure where this obsession for plastic surgery began. I know some well-known singers who got nipped and tucked before album releases in their forties. Then again, it’s a young person’s game, or is it?

This veneration of youth has me flummoxed. Young and dumb, isn’t that what they say? Get older, become wiser. But we seem to live in a society where what’s inside does not count.

All the latest studies say older people are happier. They understand the game. They’re not happy their lives are going to end, but they know what to fret over and what not to. And despite all the hedge funders on acquisition sprees, one of the amazing things about aging is you truly realize you can’t take it with you. That those items you cherish so much will probably be tossed by your heirs. That all you have is your relationships and your experiences. What’s in your head as opposed to what’s in your driveway.

As for the beauty industry… Who declared non-moving foreheads were attractive? I’m not saying beautiful people don’t have an advantage, but if you’ve ever been around someone that good-looking you know it comes with a cost. You should be happy that you’re just…you. Unique. One of a kind. Remember Leeza Gibbons? She had so much plastic surgery on her face, chasing an elusive standard, that she ended up looking generic and ending her career. Kind of like…what was the name of that woman who played Baby in “Dirty Dancing”… That’s right, Jennifer Grey!

Now if you’ve got a deformity, if you’ve had cancer, by all means see the plastic surgeon.

But if your only problem is you’re getting older, best to own it. Do you really want to be adored by the younger generation? Do you really want to waste time going to clubs having faux fun looking for your significant other? Is life truly about trading up as opposed to growing what you’ve already got?

It’s the depth that counts. And the history. And no matter what you do to the exterior, you’re still that age on the inside, with creaky knees and the inability to perform at the same athletic level.

Why is everybody chasing an ideal that was not that good to begin with? Do we really all want to go back to high school? Or is the truth that despite media trying to make us feel inadequate, most of us are not buying it.

Did you catch the beach scene when Geffen came to California? From one of those bikini movies? By today’s standards, those women were fat.

And I’m not lobbying for obesity and lack of personal grooming, but we’ve lost the plot.

The artists will fuck you.

But without them you’re nothing.

That’s the story of Laura Nyro. That’s who made David Geffen his first million. David didn’t make Laura any more talented, but he paved the way for her to make it. He encouraged her, he believed in her, he argued for her, he made things exactly the way she wanted them to be.

And in return, she fucked him.

That’s what you’ve got to know about artists. They’re desperate. They’ve only got one chance, one career, if they screw it up, they’re toast. Just ask Billy Squier…

But just like the artists, David Geffen has dreams. How is he going to make them come true?

By lying, cheating and cunning. By utilizing his gifts of intelligence and negotiation to get close to people and do things for them. This is how they all do it. Geffen’s just more successful than most. If you can see his flaws, just know that those of the others are hidden. They need it. They’ll do whatever it takes to make it. Just like the artists.

Not that will is a skill. It may be necessary, along with ambition, but that’s not enough.

Geffen was smart enough to align himself with Laura Nyro. It’s almost impossible to find legendary talent, it’s equally difficult to sign it. Geffen did both.

And despite his belief, her album didn’t hit.

But he didn’t give up. Like a great running back, he found another hole. Cover records. Not that this was a new idea. That’s how Albert Grossman broke Dylan.

But Albert was older than the acts. He was just as ruthless as Geffen, but was not one of them. Geffen came from the same generation. He understood his acts. He knew how good they were and what they wanted. He made it happen.

And I won’t say they were ungrateful, but great artists believe they can make it on their own, that they need nobody’s help, and this is patently untrue.

You not only need someone smart, you need someone with relationships. Whether it be Ahmet, Mo or even Tom Freston, who’s given credit for breaking Guns N’ Roses in this documentary. You need someone with a Rolodex, who can make things happen.

Most people can’t.

But it was a different era back then. You had to listen to the music to know which way the wind blew. Top Forty radio was the Mac of its time. FM its iPod. Everybody paid attention. One record could change the world. Musicians were the most powerful people in the universe.

They are no longer.

Watching Laura Nyro you think of no one so much as Lady Gaga… But she hasn’t written one track as good as “Poverty Train,” never mind “Wedding Bell Blues” or “Save The Country.” You see Gaga has the chops, but she focuses on the trappings. Once upon a time, the chops were paramount.

Assuming you had a David Geffen in your corner.

And most people did not. The fat cats wanted to be in the movie business. And although the late sixties and early seventies were a legendary time in the picture business, it was music that was driving the culture. You see movies are made by committee. Music, when done right, is the vision of one soul, or a band of them. Execs cannot make the records, they can make the movies.

And one reason music took a dump is because the execs started to believe they were the acts. They got paid like them, but the more they got involved, the worse the music became. Hell, those out there Neil Young albums from the eighties, the ones Geffen sued over, they look positively mainstream today. Neil Young was a twenty first century artist thirty years ago. He realized your only hope is to follow your muse. Which is why Neil still does boffo at the b.o. And most of his contemporaries who sold out are struggling.

And I love that they point out that Geffen speaks his mind and had to learn how to be diplomatic. Dealing with people, especially those more powerful than yourself…is not something you’re born with. If you’re not learning every day, you’re dying on the vine, you’re taking yourself out of the game.

And Geffen has done great things since the seventies. Geffen Records, DreamWorks, charity… But his heyday was the seventies. When he was frustratingly subservient to the artists. Once he became the artist himself, it wasn’t so good. Ironically, Geffen needs the tension, he needs to be subsidiary to somebody, he needs to work the system, the role of king does not fit him so well. But kingmaker? That fits him like a glove.

This documentary was far from three-dimensional. If you want to know more about the real Geffen, read Tom King’s “The Operator.”

But that book will never give you a feel for how it once was. When musicians were as rich as corporate titans, with even more power, while being beholden to no one. Geffen may be a billionaire, but he’s poor compared to the Wall Street fat cats. Like David Bonderman, who just paid Paul McCartney and John Fogerty to play at his seventieth birthday party?

Tough Times? You Wouldn’t Know at Party for Private Equity Titan

Paul McCartney? Shouldn’t he be king? Shouldn’t he have all the money?

That’s how far we’ve come.

But give Geffen credit. He straddles two worlds. He likes his fine living, but he knows the power of a t-shirt, of being a scrapper, of beating the man at his own game.

This documentary fell apart when it hit the late eighties. There was no mention of the war with Robert Towne over “Personal Best.” Everyone kept saying Geffen doesn’t lose, but you never heard one of those whose every move in Hollywood was blocked by the man…and that happened.

Then again, Geffen showed his vulnerability by quoting Patrick Goldstein.

You see at the end of the day, it’s still the artist who has all the power. One song, one sentence, one album, one article…can infect and change the entire world.

Which is why we’re drawn to these people. Why we want to get closer.

Geffen played it as well as anybody.

But don’t think you can replicate his success. The hunger comes from having a non-working father, being gay, a whole soup of elements that made him him. You can only be yourself.

And this is especially true if you’re an artist.

But what you really need is to be yourself and have Geffen, or his modern day equivalent, on your side.

Because we all want to be taken down to the paradise city…

American Masters – Inventing David Geffen