Talk about overexposed.

Are we still living in 2000, when it was all about the first week and most people still had not discovered Napster?

Yup, that’s when JT was at his peak.

You want to know the big arts story this week?

The “Veronica Mars” Kickstarter project. They’ve raised in excess of three million bucks by going to those who care, the fans, as opposed to JT, who’s positively living in the past, believing that saturation marketing will convince all of us who don’t care to. Huh? You’re just pissing us off!

Meanwhile, I’m here to tell you sexy never left, but cool is back. Manufactured is trouble. Hubris is fatal. Hell, when the “New York Times” writes articles about the Taylor Swift backlash, about her bad Q ratings, you know that it’s over.

Taylor Swift? You haven’t got enough publicity? You’re appearing in “Vanity Fair”? WHY? So we can make fun of you? Taking on comediennes is like having a guitar battle with Clapton, even Gary Clark, Jr., you just can’t win.

Yup, Taylor’s pissed at Amy Poehler and Tina Fey for making fun of her at the Golden Globes. Don’t know that? You’re lucky. “Vanity Fair” spammed the media and every non-thinking news outlet reproduced it.

Want some advice Taylor?

STFU!

You don’t see Carrie Underwood trying to cross over, splashed all over the media. No, she stays in her own little backwater, therefore the country people protect her. Who’s going to protect Taylor Swift?

And who exactly is going to protect Justin Timberlake?

Last I checked, his core audience has babies. Thank god tickets are sold digitally, because none of his fans could leave home to line up. As to whether they can get babysitters for the gig… Well, people only go to one show a year, and Justin Timberlake, whose last tour, before you grew pubes, didn’t sell out, bought insurance this time, he’s going out with Jay-Z, because he’s afraid, very afraid. Not as afraid as Miley Cyrus, who’s tabloid fodder and has lost her music career, but still scared.

Can’t you see it? The desperation? What if I’m not big enough?

Want to know today’s underground music story?

Prince at SXSW!

He didn’t promote it, everybody else did!

That’s how you want to do it today.

But that just doesn’t fit in with your world domination, conquer all philosophy. You want to dun everybody into submission. You think if you’re Gene Simmons and you screw thousands of girls, people will care. The only people who care about Mr. Simmons are the ones who in declining numbers go to Kiss shows. The rest of us have no problem ignoring him.

You see in the old world it was top down. Get the big kahunas to write about you so the little people will find out.

But now it’s positively reversed. The little people build your career. And it happens very slowly. And when we see dinosaurs like Justin Timberlake BEGGING US to pay attention we have the classic twenty first century response. We laugh at him. We feel superior to him. We look down upon him just like the nincompoops on reality TV.

And when his album fails…

OF COURSE IT’S GONNA FAIL!

Come on, even U2’s album failed.

If you’re a superstar, we don’t even want the album, unless we’re hard core fans. We want the undeniable single.

Now if you’re not a superstar, this rule doesn’t apply. Make a ton of music, satiate your fans.

Then again, I’m a Ry Cooder fan, and I’ve stopped paying attention. I laughed when I heard a song of his on the satellite. Reminded me of him talking about making a new album…

You know Ry. Guitarist extraordinaire who gets tons of ink, but can’t sell a record?

Welcome to 2013. When it’s not only cult people like Ry Cooder, but stars like Timberlake and Bowie.

They think everybody cares.

But everybody doesn’t.

Even “The New Yorker” writes about Bowie.

End result?

A TARNISHING OF THE LEGACY! BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T CARE!

I keep my cars forever. I certainly don’t lease, I don’t need to look fashionable. I drove my first BMW for 180,000 miles, until it got totaled by a drunk driver on St. Patrick’s Day. The second one exceeded 190,000. But I should have gotten rid of it sooner. I spent thousands trying to fix an electrical problem, more than the car was worth, I was just that attached.

And I fear buying stuff that much.

I’m afraid to make a mistake.

Republicans should have me running the government. I wouldn’t spend a dime! Which engine should we get in the fighter jet? Drones? Do you buy a hundred or just one? I mean you want the volume discount, then again, if I give them all that money are they gonna cut corners?

You can see my dilemma.

But Felice is nothing like me. Which is why I believe in the Paula Abdul school of relationships. You know, OPPOSITES ATTRACT!

Felice doesn’t need it perfect, and if it’s not right, she throws it away and buys a new one. Last I checked, we don’t live forever, so this is a good policy and I’m trying to learn.

But I’m teaching too. Felice never kept a car longer than three years. She was afraid it would break down! Huh? Cars last hundreds of thousands of miles today. So I convinced her to hang on to her 2002 Lexus GS300, hell it was PAID FOR!

Drove her image-conscious brother-in-law nuts. Hell, he drives an Aston Martin! You know Hollywood, it’s what you look like, what you drive… As for your interior? It could be empty for all most people care.

But I’m a transplant. I remember the blue bloods. Who drove Ford Galaxies and wore Topsiders. They feigned poverty. It was a style. But now the blue bloods don’t have the money of bankers and I live on the west coast and I’m caught between two worlds.

But even though Felice’s Lexus only has 70,000 odd miles, could outlive her at this pace, recently it’s developed niggling problems and she wants a new car. Mind you, I wouldn’t. I’d be driving that thing forever. But when she opened the front door and it creaked, and wouldn’t stay open to boot, Felice said IT’S TIME!

She decided on a BMW. She saw one on the street. You know women, they think cars are fashion items. How else to explain the rash of female SUV drivers? It’s not like they’re gonna go off-road. Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist, I know Danica Patrick could blow my doors off and probably beat me up, but what kind of world do we live in where you can’t state the obvious?

So today we went to check out BMWs.

First and foremost, there are so many models, they don’t have them on the lot, never mind the showroom floor. You’re better off staying at home and surfing the web. The first guy we got seemed to be knowledgeable, but the most basic questions flummoxed him. The difference in price between a 3 and a 5. The different engines available. Oh, I know it’s complicated. But it’s his gig!

But then he threw us over to his associate, who was truly clueless. Nice, but clueless. And when we wanted to drive a 5, after waiting for twenty minutes for him to show up with the car, we walked over to the Audi dealership right next door.

Audi, have you been following this?

If you’re of a certain age, you remember when Audi just about went out of business. Because of the unintended acceleration fiasco. Of course, it was driver error. Hell, did you read last week that the majority of breast implants are silicone again? We Americans love a controversy, we love to point fingers at others, we hate responsibility. Audi barely survived.

And then came the revolution.

Volkswagen, Audi’s parent, declared it was going to become the world’s largest carmaker by 2018.

Everybody laughed. This would be like Warner saying it was going to eclipse Universal’s market share in less than a decade.

But VW’s almost there.

As for Audi, it’s the Mercedes-Benz of China, the top choice of the high-ranking politicos.

And even Mercedes-Benz is not Mercedes-Benz anymore. That’s BMW.

But BMW is like CAA. Top dog, but arrogant.

And that just pissed people off.

Acura is too downscale.

Lexus is for grandparents, who remember that old Cadillac ride.

Infiniti got lost in the shuffle.

It’s a battle between BMW, Mercedes and Audi, and right now, it looks like Audi is going to win.

Huh?

They started off with luxury at good prices. They upgraded the facilities and the help. Unlike BMW, they use wood instead of plastic. And if you don’t need a BMW, you’re gonna buy an Audi.

But please know more about the car than me!

After a test drive, we went into the office to check prices and specs.

The salesman pulled up the website.

I CAN DO THAT AT HOME!

Even the sales manager wasn’t sure if you could get the B&O sound system without the supercharged engine.

But the real story is car buying has changed. Only marks get ripped off. Everybody else researches like hell, gets a “Consumer Report” report, calls a bunch of dealers, and gets a deal.

So how do you stand out?

Well, first and foremost someone’s got to want your product.

I don’t want an Audi, I want a BMW. I can handle the plastic, I want that road feel.

But most people are not like me. Otherwise, Chrysler would be out of business. Have you checked their reliability records recently?

Most people are emotional buyers. So it’s about looks, comfort, and a good dealership experience.

Not like going to the gig.

Our whole nation has gone upscale.

But the concert experience is still stuck in the seventies. Maybe the eighties. With typically heinous food and uncomfortable seats, if there are any. Whereas even the cheapest cars now have power windows. If you don’t think cars have gotten better, you haven’t driven one.

So where does that leave Felice?

Probably buying an Audi.

Yup, the guy on the front line at BMW screwed it up. You don’t want to keep customers waiting at a $50,000 price point. They go elsewhere, where they’re wanted, where they’re treated right.

Hell, the Audi salesman kept asking us if we wanted a drink. His answer was always yes instead of no.

It’s the people on the front line who make the difference.

Unless your product is so outstanding it sells itself.

That’s where Apple was. Far ahead of the competition.

That’s not where it is today.

Audi is more than Samsung. It’s a three-dimensional outfit.

And its competitors should be afraid, very afraid. Because what’s hip today might become passe.

“Audi Races For Luxury Crown”

“Continuum Redesigns Audi’s Car Dealership Experience”

“Once Banned, Silicone Breast Implants Make a Comeback”

Clive saved the Kinks.

Or should I say “Klive”?

Credit John Mendelsohn, who wrote the liner notes for “The Kink Kronikles,” for getting the ball rolling. Although Mendelsohn may not have hurt Zeppelin’s career with his negative review in “Rolling Stone,” (yes, I know who it was, a true rock fan is all about the OBSCURITIES!), he burnished the Kinks’ image when they were considered toast by most, by calling the almost totally unknown in the U.S. “Waterloo Sunset” “simply one of the four or five most beautiful songs of our age.” Huh? Almost nobody purchased “The Kink Kronikles,” but everybody who did insisted their buddies listen to “Waterloo Sunset,” after quoting Mr. Mendelsohn. I know, it happened to me. And then I went on to purchase not only this double album compilation after my buddy Andy Munro spun it for me, but every RCA album thereafter.

Yes, the Kinks had switched to RCA. You know the joke, right? I won’t repeat the whole thing, just let you know the punch line. At Disneyland, the son of the sheikh asks his dad to buy him a Mickey Mouse outfit. So the sheikh buys him RCA Records. Yup, it was just about that bad, only MCA was worse. Despite a hard core of diehard fans who purchased every album and went to see the yearly show, the core never increased.

And then Clive signed them to Arista.

The concept albums were done. “Sleepwalker” was a straight-ahead rock record. And it even exceeded the hopes and desires of the hard core.

Start with “Juke Box Music.”

We can debate all day long who played guitar on those initial Kinks hits, but this is definitely Dave Davies and he’s WAILING!

There’s a lady plays her favorite records
On the juke box every day
All day long she plays the same old songs
And she believes the things that they say

The same damn records! Spinning on the turntable as we stared at them! We would have jumped in the hole if we could! They were our truth, our raison d’etre.

Other ladies like to prance around
And flirt and dance the whole night through
But she just sits and listens to her juke box records
‘Cause that’s all that she wants to do

Come on, if you’re reading this you understand. Our records were everything! We weren’t on the football team, we weren’t cool in school, but at home, we were SUPERSTARS!

She sings along with all the saddest songs
And she believes the stories are real
She lets the music dictate the way that she feels

No one’s ever said it better. That’s why we loved Ray. Our moods matched our music. We knew it WASN’T only juke box music.

And then there was “Life Goes On”…

A friend of mine just had a real bad time
You see his life was shattered and he lost his mind
His girl ran off along with his best friend
And through emotional stress he brought his life to an end
It was such a tragedy
But that’s the way it’s got to be
Life goes on

It most surely does.

The first question after someone dies? WHAT’S FOR DINNER? Then, there’s the fight over possessions. And then you’re just a memory, that comes up ever more infrequently, because life goes on.

My bank went broke and my well ran dry
It was almost enough to contemplate suicide
I turned on the gas, but I soon realized
I hadn’t settled my bill so they cut off my supply

Ah, the irony! But what we loved even more was the use of the English “settled” instead of “paid.” Ray was willing to toss the concept albums over the transom, but he still insisted on being himself, English to the core.

Meanwhile, in the seventies it was all right to sing about being a loser, on the wrong side of life. Today everybody’s a winner. Huh? Has human nature changed? Is life somehow different? NO!     But people are afraid of the truth, they can’t handle it, just like Jack Nicholson said.

“Misfits” was even better. It’s the apotheosis of the Arista years. It’s the last best thing Ray’s done, just listen to “A Rock ‘N’ Roll Fantasy.”

But although the band’s audience was growing, there was no hit single, they were still a cult item.

But then, suddenly, the band started to get airplay. The albums veered towards the mainstream, but it was weird to hear the Kinks on the radio after an absence of almost a decade. First it was “Catch Me Now I’m Falling” and “(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman” from “Low Budget” and then it was “Destroyer,” off “Give The People What They Want.” And finally, in 1983, the band had a bona fide hit, with “Come Dancing.” They were playing arenas. A deserved victory lap was taking place. It was a bit bittersweet, because the records were dumbed down, but the Arista years were rescued by one Dave Davies, with “Living On A Thin Line,” from “Word Of Mouth.”

We all are.

Especially mobsters. Like the Sopranos. Yup, “Living On A Thin Line” was featured in 2001’s “University.” It’s got that seamy underbelly, New Jersey, life is dangerous and can end at any moment feel. You’re worried about what’s gonna happen. It’s the SOUND that conveys this.

And then the Kinks took the money and absconded to MCA and never had another hit. But they wrote one! Yup, “Video Shop,” from 1986’s “Think Visual.”

The local factory’s been pulled down
By an overseas corporation
Now all of my brothers are looking around
For alternative occupation

Things were bleak in the mother country, but Englishmen are nothing if not industrious.

I was sitting by the telly with my brother Kenny
When suddenly the penny dropped
While all of my brothers are sitting at home
I’ve got a bank loan and I’ve opened up my very own
Video shop
Video shop

POSITIVELY BRILLIANT!

Seems quaint now, but in the mid-eighties we were all video crazy. A trip to the video shop eclipsed a journey to the record shop for many. We were catching up on the new flicks we’d missed in the theatres, and the classics.

I’ve got a bootleg version of ‘Citizen Kane’
A second-hand copy of ‘Psycho’
I’ve taped them off the telly so you shouldn’t complain

BOOTLEG TAPES! This was before the Blockbusterization of video shops, the mom and pops were populated by illicit wares. And in the corner, behind a curtain, was the truly illicit stuff…

If you want to escape, I can rent you a tape
To relieve your situation
If you feel a bit low, I got a good peep show
‘Cause everybody knows almost anything goes
At my video shop
At my video shop

I was sitting in my living room listening to “Video Shop” telling myself THIS IS A HIT!

But MCA didn’t know what to do with it.

A smash on Arista, but it wasn’t. Clive could recognize hits, you’ve got to give him that.

Yes, Clive gave Ray Davies and the Kinks their victory lap.

And the Arista years weren’t the best, but they contained some gems.

But if you want to dig down deep, check out “Money Talks” from “Preservation Act 2,” now that’s TRULY genius!

Rhinofy-Some Kinks

Previous Rhinofy playlists

THEN

People had car trouble.

NOW

If someone tells you they’re not coming because their car won’t start, you don’t believe them.

THEN

Your computer crashed, you feared the Blue Screen Of Death.

NOW

Your computer goes months without ever crashing, and you barely turn it on anyway, only for work, because you’re addicted to your tablet and smartphone.

THEN

Superstars took a year to make an album and it sold for three years.

NOW

Superstars take a year to make an album, and they’re essentially dead on arrival. The faithful buy them and then they’re done. And everybody complains the business sucks and it ain’t what it used to be when the truth is there are five hundred TV channels and YouTube and nothing gets the mindshare it did before.

THEN

Concert tickets were three, four and five dollars. The bands drove in station wagons and getting high and getting laid were the goal.

NOW

Concert tickets cost triple digits, the bands want to fly private and your money goes to buying houses and cars and other assets as the band tries to keep up with the truly rich, which they no longer are.

THEN

The goal was to work at a record label.

NOW

The goal is to work at Apple.

THEN

You bugged your parents for your own Princess phone in your bedroom.

NOW

You can’t remember the last time you spoke on the phone.

THEN

Gas was pumped for you and you went inside to get maps.

NOW

You pump your own gas and maps are on your phone.

THEN

You went to the record store and plotted what albums you were going to buy in the future

NOW

You can listen to everything for free online and the thrill of new is gone, now it’s solely about what is great. The concept of buying something and finding out it sucks is passe.

THEN

You were constantly returning records to the store for scratches, skips and warps.

NOW

There are no stores and there is no returning.

THEN

The deejay was the most trusted person in the music universe.

NOW

The deejay is a joke, sold out to the man with no personality, playing drivel that only ten year olds would sit through.

THEN

It was all about record sales.

NOW

It’s all about tickets.

THEN

You could only buy the t-shirt at the gig, so you did, to appear special.

NOW

T-shirts are everywhere and not quite meaningless, but far from meaningful.

THEN

You sat down and listened to the music, in aural bliss, you only stood during the encore.

NOW

You stand throughout the gig, get jostled by your neighbors and get beer spilled upon you, all in the name of feeling the music.

THEN

You woke up early to wait in line to buy tickets.

NOW

You go on StubHub weeks after the on-sale to overpay for good seats.

THEN

You went to a show every month.

NOW

You go to a show once or twice a year.

THEN

There was live music in bars.

NOW

You listen to deejays in bars.

THEN

Mainstream media was clueless as to music.

NOW

Every publication covers the scene and tries to look hip.

THEN

Acts were unreachable.

NOW

If your favorite act isn’t on Twitter and you don’t think you have access, you’re angry.

THEN

There was upward mobility in the music industry.

NOW

The baby boomers don’t want to let you take their jobs.

THEN

The Beatles were the biggest act in the business.

NOW

Paul McCartney is the biggest act in the business.

THEN

The Rolling Stones couldn’t sell a record.

NOW

The Rolling Stones can’t sell a record.

THEN

Clive Davis was telling us how powerful he was.

NOW

Clive Davis is telling us how powerful he was.

THEN

The labels screwed the artists.

NOW

The labels screw the artists.

THEN

Acts were unsophisticated.

NOW

Everybody’s an expert, they read Passman’s book, they’re savvy.

THEN

Security at the gig was like us, just beefier.

NOW

Security is the enemy.

THEN

You went to make the scene.

NOW

You go to make the scene at the electronic music show, it’s too expensive to go to any other gig on a lark.

THEN

Arenas eclipsed theatres, the acts were just too big, demand was just too great.

NOW

Most acts can’t sell out arenas, other than classic rock acts and the occasional superstar, acts play theatres.

THEN

You wanted to sleep with Stevie Nicks.

NOW

You don’t want to sleep with Taylor Swift, she’ll write a song about you.

THEN

We paid a fortune for hi-def sound systems.

NOW

We pay a middling sum to hear compressed versions of our favorites via earbuds.

THEN

Top Forty radio played the best of everything.

NOW

Top Forty radio…who listens to Top Forty radio, isn’t that just a subset of urban with the occasional Mumford & Sons or Lumineers track?

THEN

FM was hip.

NOW

We don’t even listen to AM, certainly not for music.

THEN

We learned computer dating didn’t work, the matches sucked.

NOW

People flock to Pandora, even though the matches suck.

THEN

Auto sound sucked and home sound was great.

NOW

Auto sound is great and most people don’t even own a home stereo.

THEN

You dreamed of being a rock star.

NOW

They call anybody rich a rock star. Whereas the rock stars of yore were about freedom, of both lifestyle and expression, we flocked to them. The only thing memorable about these new “rock stars” is their money.

THEN

You wore your street clothes on stage.

NOW

Fashion is a key element of show business, even though the richest people in America, the techies, wear hoodies and sneakers.

THEN

Acts took risks, artistic chances.

TODAY

Everybody plays it safe.

THEN

You wrote your own material, songs were straight from the heart of the writer/player/singer to the audience.

NOW

Every song is written by the same people, and personality is absent.

THEN

You had to be able to sing to make it.

NOW

You’ve got to be willing to whore yourself out to make it. And those with bad voices believe they’re entitled to success.

THEN

Our best acts were on weekly TV, on “Ed Sullivan” and “In Concert.”

NOW

Our worst acts are on TV, on “American Idol,” “The Voice” and “X Factor.”

THEN

Game shows were during the day.

NOW

Talent contests are at night.

THEN

You had to have talent to make it.

NOW

You have to have desire to make it.

THEN

You got your license at 16.

NOW

You can live without your driver’s license.

THEN

Your parents were the enemy.

NOW

Your parents are your best friends.

THEN

Republicans were about personal freedom.

NOW

Republicans want to tell you how to live your life.

THEN

Democrats were about erecting a Great Society.

NOW

Democrats are pussies who are afraid of alienating their donors.

THEN

You wanted to be President.

NOW

Who’d want to be President?

THEN

Sports stars were just like us.

NOW

Sports stars are nothing like us. Hell, they’re richer than musicians!

THEN

You rarely flew anywhere.

NOW

You’ll fly halfway across the country for a concert.

THEN

Winter was endless and miserable.

NOW

You wear your shorts in the winter.

THEN

If you screwed up in school, your parents chewed you out.

NOW

If you screw up in school, your parents chew out the administration.

THEN

You went to college to learn.

NOW

You go to college to earn.

THEN

We were all in it together.

NOW

It’s every man for himself.