“BlackBerry goes glam, enlists Alicia Keys”

This is the problem with taking a corporate check. It undermines your CREDIBILITY! And next to your music, credibility is the most important thing you’ve got.

The manager can get a new client. The salesman can switch products. But the artist is stuck with him or herself. Screw up your image, and you’re toast. Neil Young has steered clear of the shenanigans and still does boffo at the b.o. His brethren who sold out, who took the short term money, they’re doing a fraction of his business.

Let that be a lesson to you.

If you think BlackBerry is anything but a footnote on its way to expiration, you didn’t read today’s reviews. Which are uniformly…mediocre. Glitches, no apps, and slow web-surfing… SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!

But no, Ms. Keys had to take the check. You know music sales are tanking and we artists just have to bend over and take it in the tuchas. We’ve got no choice.

B.S.

First, you can make less money. Especially if you’re a star.  Wanna make cash? Then tie up with a VC, like Bono.

Second, you can reinvent the wheel, like Amanda Palmer.

Third, you can tell your handlers, all of whom tell you to take the deal, that you’ve got their number, that they just want their commission, and that you mean less to them than…themselves, their families, so many other people.

An artist has to put him or herself at the pinnacle, the absolute top. He or she must be narcissistic. Because truly, no one else is looking out for him or her. Do poorly on the road and you can lose your agent, manager and accountant. The good old days when you were raining dough? Well, those are the good old days.

And Alicia Keys is just today’s example. How about those pop acts shilling for soda water, causing their fans to become obese and stroke out so they can’t be paying customers anymore.

First comes the artist.

Second comes the fan.

Everybody else is way down the pike, ESPECIALLY the Fortune 500 company trying to gain some headway on your back. Think about it. Why would they be attracted to you? They need their image burnished. But you’re selling out cheap. Your career is tarnished forever and the company shrugs its shoulders and moves on.

Music won’t be healthy again until it has self-respect. Until the artists stop being whores and stand for something other than cash and lifestyle.

You want people to believe? BE A ROLE MODEL! Someone with integrity, a fan with more success. Does a fan get these offers? Does a fan sell out to the man? No, the fan relies on you to reflect the human condition. When you have long hair and smoke dope and sing about your trials and tribulations, as opposed to how damn great your life is now that you’re rich and famous, then you truly connect, then the riches truly come raining down.

“Alicia Keys Jan 6, 2012  -  Public

I’ve become an iPhone junky! Sad but true. (are u one too?) These are some of my favorite images from my latest download… 😉 http://thekeysofalicia.tumblr.com/ ”

Google+

So she switched to a worse platform because..?

That’s a PERK!

My inbox is blowing up with the sour grapes people complaining that Amanda Palmer owes her success to her “millionaire” husband Neil Gaiman. As if she courted him from infancy and rode his coattails to notoriety and riches.

To quote a Who song you probably don’t know, and should, “it don’t really happen that way at all.”

Where should I focus first? Amanda or the hoi polloi?

Let’s start with Amanda. She was clueless as to Gaiman for most of her career. It was only by establishing a beachhead that she was able to connect with him. Yes, I hate to disillusion you, but fame/success begets relationships. Hell, that’s why many people do it. Like the classic rockers. Just ask ’em. They all did it to get LAID! No one would pay attention to them, being shy art guys. Show me a famous rocker who was popular in high school and I’ll tell you you’ve found the exception. By being “Amanda Palmer,” Amanda could bed and wed Gaiman. And if she was really in it for the money, why stop with Gaiman? Go for Lloyd Blankfein, a banker, someone who is truly rich! Then again, artists connect with artists, they’re like-minded. Kind of like rock stars connect with models… The lifestyle’s the same. Work intermittently but hard when you do and party all hours of the night. People with 9-5 jobs aren’t attracted to rock stars. Because they tend to be irresponsible and narcissi
stic. Unreliable. With poor financial habits to boot.

As for the complainers/naysayers…

I just hope you have some success. Then people you don’t know will come out of the woodwork to tell you how it really is, what you’re really like even though they’ve never met you, never mind really know you. They’re just pissed you’re where they are not.

Yeah, like Neil Gaiman wrote a big check for Amanda Palmer’s Kickstarter project. Why? Kickstarter takes a percentage and she’d already blown past her goal.

But the truth never interfered with these pricks’ perspective. They see you up where they want to be and figure you had an edge, or are lucky. That they deserve to be where you are. Even though they’re marginally talented and unwilling to do the work.

Wanna be rich and famous?

Then give up your personal life. Not only to the audience, but to yourself. You’re too busy working all the time. You’ve got little time for TV, little time for relationships. You’re sacrificing all for your art. Burning the candle on both ends. You know why rock stars O.D? Because they take drugs to cope with the hideous life of a creator on the road. Just try to fall asleep after giving it your all at the arena. Busing around the world with people you’ve spent years in close contact with who you may not even like, whose habits gross you out.

And misinformation rules.

Do you know that I bullied Taylor Swift in high school?

Yup, it’s there EVERY DAY in my Twitter feed. Dozens of retweets at a time. Spreading the falsehood. Hell, I’m decades older than she is. A modicum of online research could yield this fact. But no, people would rather complain than deal with the truth. Because it’s too much effort and they don’t want to look in the mirror and face themselves and their oftentimes miserable little lives.

That’s what an artist does best. Give you respite from your horrible life. Hell life can be horrible even if you are rich and famous. Which is why all those bankers are music fans. They want to be touched, they want to be changed.

As for those e-mailing that all this discussion is not about Ms. Palmer’s music, IT WASN’T MADE FOR YOU! Palmer didn’t work the mainstream media machine, it came to her. And ultimately turned its back on her, with the backup musician kerfuffle.

And her fanbase didn’t care. The only people complaining they weren’t getting paid were union members and those who never listened to her music. It’s like having your party crashed by your parents, complete with invective against your lifestyle, because it’s different from theirs.

No one likes negative comments.

But if you raise your head above water, you’re gonna get ’em, oftentimes from weasels hiding under the cover of anonymity. Trying to bring you down. Telling you you’re too fat, too untalented, too ugly, too connected to be where you are. But isn’t it interesting that you’re on top and they’re on the bottom.

I’ve got just one piece of advice re the haters…

IGNORE THEM!

P.S. That Who song is “Naked Eye.” The definitive take is from their ’74 album “Odds & Sods,” check it out, it’ll be the best five minutes you spend today.

Naked Eye – Spotify

Naked Eye – YouTube

Is a modern day star.

How did Amanda Palmer get to where she is now?

By working all the time.

By networking.

By putting her fans first.

By maintaining her fan relationship 24/7.

Amanda Palmer is not for everybody. Just for her fans. But that’s enough for her to raise a million dollars on Kickstarter.

There’s plenty of money out there. You’ve just got to find ways to tap it.

Used to be you looked for a record company check. But now the company pays less, because there’s less money to be made. And not only do they own the copyrights in perpetuity, but they want a share of everything you make.

Amanda Palmer began as a street performer. After college.

This is the lowest rung of entertainment. And not the choice of almost any college graduate. But this is where the rubber meets the road. Daniel Glass once told me a prerequisite to working at SBK Records, and this was twenty years ago, before he became majordomo of his own independent label, was that you had to work retail. That’s where the transaction took place. How big a fan base are you gonna have if you’re not a great performer? Probably a tiny one. And if you think someone comes out of the box fully-formed, totally great, you’ve probably never been to a club gig. Or a high school sock hop. This is where you hone your chops. You’ve got to be awful before you are great. You’ve got to learn the tricks. There’s a trick to every art form, whether it be performing, recording or selling. And in today’s music world you’ve got to do all three.

Furthermore, Daniel Glass had two more requirements to work at SBK Records. One, you really had to want to work there. Two, you had to graduate from college. Why? Not because you learned anything in school, but a degree demonstrated you could FINISH something!

Amanda Palmer knew the road was long. She had to get good grades to get into Wesleyan, had to endure four years there, so when she started as a street performer she was not about to give up. She was in it for the long haul. She’s got a giant footprint now, but she’s in her thirties. Recently got married and has no kids. Her eye was on the prize.

And yes, she had a deal with a “major,” RoadRunner Records. But more importantly, she was one of the first artists to get off a major label. At her own insistence. She wanted to be free. Bondage was holding her back. She wanted to experiment.

Which included cutting Zeppelin covers on her ukulele, which she’d just recently picked up, and selling the result for six figures to her fans.

You see Amanda was not afraid of the future. She just knew that the past sucked. And not only did she abandon her label, she gave up her moniker. The lead guy in Ohio Players just died…do you know his name? Probably not, but you know “Fire.” It was a big risk to go solo. But that’s what Amanda felt in her heart. Artists always do what’s in their heart. Money comes second. Expedience is not in their lexicon.

So if you’re not willing to tweet, work 24/7, try every new platform to engage potential fans, your odds of succeeding in the new world are slim. Sure, the major MIGHT be able to get you on the radio, but that world is collapsing and most acts are not radio-friendly.

No, you’re on your own.

Are you up to the challenge?

Then know you and your fans go hand in hand. No one else counts as much. And you can reach your cadre and make new fans via new technologies. This paradigm is only going to expand, it’s never going to contract.

With Amanda Palmer it’s not about her music, it’s about HER!

The cult of personality.

She’s her fans’ best friend. She’s an outcast just like them. With more rough edges than smooth.

Don’t look at the recent publicity, look at the two decades before. Working in near-obscurity.

You can do it.

But it’s gonna be slow.

And you’re gonna have to take chances.

And you’ll be playing without a net.

And someone in the band has to be the face.

Used to be the drummer booked the gigs, was the de facto manager.

Now you need a de facto face on the Internet, in social media.

You’ve got to be interacting and selling 24/7. If you’re focusing on the album, you’re not only leaving money on the table, you’re missing the point.

As did the mainstream media. Amanda’s name was all over. Did it make her any additional money? NO! Will this same media care in a year or two? NO! Did this media even listen to the music? NO! It might make you feel good to be in the newspaper, even on TV, but most people aren’t paying attention and the impact is nigh near neglible. You’re your own barometer. Can you pay your bills? When you tweet do you get responses? Are your fans passionate about you and your music? Then you’re on your way.

As Music Streaming Grows, Royalties Slow to a Trickle

No one ever reads to the end. Wherein it is stated, by both Cliff Burnstein and Don Passman, paragons of the old model, that the future’s so bright they gotta wear shades.

Isn’t it funny that the artists are bitching about Spotify. You didn’t hear them bitching and moaning about Napster, except for Metallica, which is now on the Spotify bandwagon. A. Because many of the artists were ignorant. B. Because they saw it as a way to get their music into the hands of potential fans. Artists are still ignorant, but a little knowledge goes a long way. Having been ripped off by record labels forever, having seen their incomes go down, they’re fearful of the future. Want to know what’s coming down the pike? Don’t ask an artist. He’ll go on about the glory days of vinyl and recording to tape…and if you think either of these are the future, you’re unaware that vinyl, despite the hoopla of its supposed comeback, still makes up less than 1% of total sales. To champion vinyl as the future is to make your arguments about Spotify irrelevant, because Spotify pays so much better. And the Internet is still the best way to expose your music to fans. You used to have to buy it to hear it, or listen endlessly to the radio to hear one track.

But now everything is available on YouTube!

YouTube! It snuck in the back door. Because the labels wouldn’t license Spotify. Time truly is money. As well as opportunity. And credit the labels for now knowing this. They all got a piece of Spotify, and they’re gearing up for streaming… Hell, Jimmy Iovine, the label titan, is about to blow up MOG/Daisy. If CD and track sales were the future do you think he’d be investing all this time and money? OF COURSE NOT!

What we’re seeing is the labels getting smart. Being in front of the customer for the very first time. Credit them. This is how you play. By developing what people don’t even know they want. People didn’t know they wanted smartphones, but now smartphones own the market. People don’t know they want to subscribe to streaming services, but they’re gonna sign up in droves.

For portability.

You’ve got to pay to get the tracks on your handset. And thousands sync like you own them, there’s no costly bandwidth involved. But nobody seems to know this. The streaming services can’t penetrate the public’s perception. But once the acts start to testify, people will get it and spread the word. Yup, expect MOG/Daisy to employ a scorched earth “I Want My MTV” campaign. Spotify? MOG/Daisy is poised to wipe it out. As for big bad Apple… That’s the gang that can’t shoot straight, right? Selling tracks is like selling CDs. Do you see any Tower Records stores? Do you see ANY record stores?

But you keep complaining you can’t get paid.

I’ve got one word for you…SCALE!

Once everybody has a subscription, there’s TONS of money involved.

As for who’s gonna get it…

The lion’s share of revenue for streaming services is paid to rights holders.

Assuming you own your rights, that will be a lot.

But don’t expect the wannabes or the middle class to profit handsomely. Because we live in winner-take-all world. PSY made $8 million from YouTube on “Gangnam Style.” You put your video up…and not only did no one see it, you didn’t get paid.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Either you’re a superstar or you’re nothing.

But that’s got nothing to do with music.

There’s one Amazon. One Google. There’s Android and Apple in smartphones. If you think BlackBerry and Microsoft have a chance, you own stock.

Furthermore, you now get paid over the life of the copyright. Talk to any aged musician, the money’s all in the PUBLISHING! You get paid forever. The upfront advance was never the size it was with your record deal, but now that you’re sixty, you still get paid. Make a record that sticks, you’ll get paid by streaming services for the rest of your life.

Which one?

Could be Spotify, MOG/Daisy or Deezer…Rdio’s already history. Will only be one. But there  will be a ton of bread.

As for getting someone to pay you to create… Mmm…major labels only want hit acts now anyway. They’ll always want hit acts. They’ll always pay for hit acts. So wannabes can use Kickstarter, which may fade in power now that people are getting burned, paying and getting nothing. But one thing’s for sure.  You’re now in business with your fanbase. Know who each fan is, and sell sell sell and ask ask ask. They’ll support you, always have. That’s what going on the road is all about, a fan relationship.

Ignore the hysteria about streaming payments. Just concentrate on making great music and building a fanbase. There’s plenty of money to be made.

You just don’t know it yet.