It’s a good record.

Miley was taking no chances, at least not her manager, Larry Rudolph. What you’ve got is a faded teen star, the heartthrob of those without pubes, heading straight to the 7-11. How to make her relevant today? Have her grow up?

This is something that Scooter Braun has been unable to do with Justin Bieber. Still hamstrung by his pre-teen image, Justin’s on bad behavior, testing limits all over the world in a way no one approves of, indicating that contrary to growing up, he’s experiencing the adolescence he’s been denied. It’s got nothing to do with music. Justin’s like a chicken with its head cut off, and Miley is a professional, getting busy, down to work, focusing first and foremost on her career.

If you don’t respect Miley Cyrus, you’ve got no clue how the music game works. I mean it’s fine if you want to wear your jeans, play rock music and try to rise up via the grass roots, but Miley was born famous and in today’s world there’s no room for middle level pop stars, only fantastic winners, and she’s executing the program perfectly, it’s as if she went to an alternative AA and is working all the steps.

That’s right, steps you’ve seen before. But for an audience that missed out the first time. Who were still in diapers, or not even born when Madonna kissed the vacant Britney. And unlike Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus evidences a personality. And that’s the key to longevity. Miley’s all over YouTube, twerking, she’s growing up with her fans, her admirers, and they love her for it!

This music is not made for baby boomers, whether they be aghast parents or the calcified media. Miley is playing them like a Stradivarius, even though she’s got no musical skill. Her skill is marketing. And that’s a perfect fit for today’s world.

Oh, the single isn’t groundbreaking. But how much successful music is today anyway? Miley’s not in it for the art, but for the fame, for the riches. Which, unfortunately, is the ethos of most of today’s younger generation. They’ve got access via the Internet and their futures are challenged, they’re selling their wares constantly. Yup, the first thing a young “artist” will ask you is…HOW DO I MAKE MONEY?

So now we’re going to criticize Miley Cyrus for ringing the bell, for doing this better than anybody?

As for getting upset that she’s nude in the video… Why don’t you go over to Google and enter some terms, start with “naked women.” And when you get to the results, click on “Images” and get ready to see more porn on one page than children of the fifties experienced in decades. Yup, that’s the world we live in. Oh, don’t tell me about parental filters, the parents don’t know how to use them and their kids know how to manipulate them! In a world of sexting we’re worried that Miley Cyrus is naked in a video?

And speaking of the video, can we give her credit for the 119 million views she’s accumulated at this point? Do you know how hard it is to reach that number? You can’t sit at home and do that with your webcam. Hell, in a world where “X Factor” has abysmal ratings, half of what the show had in its debut, where its follow-up, “Master Chef,” pulls better numbers, are we really going to criticize someone who takes her career into her own hands and succeeds?

Yup, while you’ve been bitching, the TV singing contest died. As if it was still making stars. That’s conventional wisdom, always two steps behind.

I’m not saying that if you want to get ahead you should imitate Miley Cyrus, she’s already done it, it’d be like trying to imitate Madonna thirty years ago. Cyrus saw the opportunity and went for it. And speaking of going for it, wasn’t Madonna’s number one skill marketing? Does anybody consider Madonna a musician, does anybody laud her voice? Of course not!

Unfortunately, Miley Cyrus is bringing nothing new to the party. But ain’t that music, where everybody plays it safe.

Still, the verse of “Wrecking Ball” is endearing, hooky as hell. The chorus is not up to snuff, merely adequate, but how many records ring your bell? It’s fodder, for the machine. And you can hate the machine, but never deny it exists.

Hell, you know you’re doing it right when Elton John is criticizing you. I love Elton, but he doesn’t get it. Miley Cyrus is incredibly smart, she’s manipulating the clueless, even him, to increase her fame, to drive her record to number one, and she’s executed beautifully.

1. We want to connect.

2. We want to participate.

3. We want access.

4. We want to know what our favorite celebrities are up to.

5. We want to know someone is reading our complaint to the corporation.

6. We want to put in little to get out a lot.

7. Clutter is our enemy.

8. We hate advertisements.

9. We want to know what’s important. Filters are everything.

10. We want information we can use. The more drivel, the less we pay attention.

11. We want to believe the social media site is on the same side as us, since we’re providing all the content, that it’s just not a Wall Street play.

12. Privacy is everything. Especially in the wake of Snowden and the NSA. If there are controls, they must be easily accessed and understood and not constantly updated in a cat and mouse battle ensuring the site is profitable and the customer is hoodwinked.

13. Self-promotion is anathema.

14. Just because you have our ear, that does not mean we’re interested in everything you have to say. Either play to your core or play to everybody. If you’re doing the latter give us less information.

15. Photos are almost as important as text, because they convey a humanity and realness text cannot.

16. Most people aren’t aware of most social media. Read this “New York Times” story on the girl who committed suicide after being bullied on ask.fm, Kik and Voxer. The average person wouldn’t think there are enough people on these sites to make a difference, to drive someone to the brink. But just like every generation needs its pre-fab teen hero, every generation needs its own social network. As Wall Street concentrates on one, the youngsters are on the bleeding edge taking everybody to another. This is the Rock Band/Guitar Hero effect. Once everybody in industry and finance believes the ground has solidified, we know that it’s going to be whipped out from underneath them.

Girl’s Suicide Points to Rise in Apps Used by Cyberbullies

17. E-mail is more powerful than ever, which is why corporations/e-mailers are complaining about Google’s new Gmail filters.

Retailers Fight Exile From Gmail In-Boxes

18. Social media is no match for word of mouth. They can be one and the same, but frequently are not, consumers know the difference between what is hype and what is genuine.

19. Quantifications end up being meaningless, because the system is being gamed. Look to results, not the number of likes and followers. In other words, you can have a ton of likes but sell no product.

20. Social media is subsidiary to the product. If the product is good enough, the minions will spread the word via social media. You don’t need a social media plan if your product is good enough. However, if it’s a physical product as opposed to an Internet service, seeding tastemakers with it pays dividends, this is how Samsung has made inroads in mobile.

21. The biggest tech companies have the smallest social media footprint. I.e. Google and Apple are already online, they lead with their product, their goal is to get you to go to their site as opposed to trumpeting how good they are on other sites.

22. Just because Yahoo bought Tumblr that does not mean it’s forever. As a matter of fact, insiders believe it’s mainly become a repository for porn, ironically replacing Yahoo Groups.

23. No one reads the comments. Not on YouTube, not on the HuffingtonPost. Comments allow the commenter to feel good about himself, seeing his name on screen, but the end effect is essentially meaningless. As for the quantity of comments…ask yourself, have you ever commented? Only those without power and too much time on their hands comment online.

24. We’re inured to the new. So we’re always looking for social networks. Furthermore, social networks might not be the next big thing. We assume we can connect with everybody, who will provide the next step?

25. Interface counts. MySpace was killed because of its lousy one and Twitter still hasn’t come up with a reasonable one understandable by many.

26. We’ve got social media fatigue. People have seen the movie, they don’t need the new site, they don’t need to waste more time. Yes, teenagers with too much time on their hands living in the hothouse of school will search for the new, but… It’s just like there are people hunting the new in music, yet most people are satisfied letting others do the legwork, only paying attention when something reaches critical mass.

27. Zynga rose and sunk. Social gaming was a fad. Oh, it will continue with massive online games, but all the people who bought mobile phones and tablets who became overnight diehard gamers are done now.

28. The social medium does not want you infiltrating its business, you might think a helper app makes users’ lives easier, but even if this is so, the social medium considers you the enemy.

29. Just because Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook that does not make him an expert on anything other than Facebook.

30. Social media is now a feature, like a spell-checker. Once upon a time, spell-check was a separate program you paid extra for, then it was integrated into Microsoft Office and other word processing programs.

31. Social media is here to stay. But not on multiple platforms. There will be a consolidation, a migration to a very few, which just might be integrated into other, larger businesses.

32. The thrill is gone. We know we can connect, but can you affect our regular human everyday lives? That’s where the frontier is, making us feel better about ourselves and our existence when we’re not tethered to the computer, tablet or phone.

What You Want Is in the Limo

I’m fried from dental work, but I don’t want another moment to go by without hipping you to this book, could be the best rock and roll primer on the planet.

Huh?

I’ve about given up reading rock and roll books. Always poorly written, they never tell you what you want to hear and they leave out the essence, the myth and how it came to be.

Most people believe the concept of rock star was born with MTV. Oldsters will pooh-pooh that and say it’s all about the sixties, baby. Michael Walker points to the seventies, more specifically 1973, he says that’s when the screw turned, when Zeppelin, the Who and Alice Cooper went on stage.

I don’t agree with his exact premise. Led Zeppelin IV was much more important than “Houses Of The Holy” and “Physical Graffiti” was a return to form, but the point is once upon a time it was about peace and love, then it turned out to be about world domination and money. Yup, everybody from Lady Gaga to the living room wannabe is living out the paradigm that these acts established exactly forty years ago, when there was so much money in music, you lived in a bubble and could do whatever you wanted.

This was back before bankers were loaded.

Back before the tech revolution.

Oh, there was always a music business. But the lion’s share of the cash went to the promoters and the intermediaries. The acts were along for the ride. But not when Peter Grant got involved.

Beginning with Donn Arden, and ain’t that a story, Peter Grant came from the Irving Azoff school of music management. He didn’t get involved in the music itself, but he paved the way for Jimmy Page to do exactly what he wanted. He was his adorer and protector. High on coke, sometimes a teddy bear and sometimes a tyrant, it was Grant who invented the modern music business. He was the one who changed the deals so that the acts got all the money, after all, all you had to do was put the tickets on sale and they were instantly gone!

If you lived through this era you remember. Scalpers were not prevalent. You lined up overnight to get tickets. And you were thrilled just to be inside, no one complained about sitting in the last row, you were part of the shenanigans!

Woodstock illustrated there was an audience.

Grant, Gordon and Peter Rudge capitalized on it.

Yes, Shep Gordon. Who comes to L.A. with bupkes and fakes his way into managing Alice Cooper, leaving behind his days as a dope dealer at the Landmark Hotel. Read this book and you’ll believe that management is everything. That you won’t make it without it. Because a manager not only has a vision, he capitalizes on your luck. Alice Cooper almost didn’t make it. Frank Zappa had them cut their first album in a day. And it stunk. But they convinced the unknown Bob Ezrin to produce “I’m Eighteen” and truly the rest is history. Without Ezrin, there’s no Alice Cooper. And if there’s no Alice Cooper, there’s no Madonna and certainly no Miley Cyrus. Alice self-consciously tested limits heretofore unseen. The audience was in on the joke, the mainstream was horrified. But it’s only rock and roll, back when the acts used to actually write their own songs and perform on their records.

Peter Grant got leverage by paying for Zeppelin’s first record with his and Jimmy Page’s money. They ended up with artistic control. Remember that when you’re looking for a handout.

Furthermore, Zeppelin got terrible reviews. Yup, this was the first time in the rock and roll era reviews no longer mattered, the public was in charge. The Zeppelin you revere today? Abhorred by the cognoscenti back then. But it made no difference, just like reviews are meaningless today.

But you might know all this. But did you know promoter Jack Boyle used to fill his ice cream tubs with plaster of Paris, only putting the frozen dessert a half inch down? He charged $75 for that ice cream, he told Chip Rachlin he put his kids through college on the profits.

Yes, the promoters were trying to screw the artists. It was the job of the manager to make sure they didn’t. The entire modern rock and roll business was created way back then, we’ve just been living on fumes ever since.

And the reason you read this book is for the tiny touches, the little stuff you did not know. And I was stunned how much of the book was new to me. Yup, after all these years you can still teach an old dog new tricks.

And you’ve got to know the tricks. That’s why I’m recommending this book. I don’t care if you hate these three bands, you’ll learn more about how the rock and roll music business works than in a month of web-surfing and a year of “Billboard.”

And I never ever read anything about this book other than the one review that got me to check it out. It’s like it wasn’t even released. The guy made some previous headway with his book about Laurel Canyon, but either he’s got a bad publicist or the mainstream press is ignoring him, but this is the most insightful book about the music business since “Hit Men.”

Oh, there’s a big gap. And the writer is constantly executing turns of phrase that cause you to wince. And he throws in big words for no reason. But by reading this book you’ll understand how it once was, when we weren’t enthralled by tech but music. When these musicians were never laughingstocks but heroes. When they had more power than anybody on the planet and lived like it.

Really. Buy this book IMMEDIATELY!

“What You Want Is In The Limo: On the Road with Led Zeppelin, Alice Cooper, and the Who in 1973, the Year the Sixties Died and the Modern Rock Star Was Born”

I don’t want to tweet. It’s like pissing off a cliff in the dark. No one sees it and you risk getting yourself wet. At best, you screw up and become a pariah. Which is why Twitter is a sea of dropouts and the fawning press trumpeting its IPO doesn’t realize that sites built upon the backs of users are fads. In other words, you’re better off buying Apple, unless you’re a Wall Street pro who buys low and gets out early.

How did it come to this?

Like every fad, once upon a time Twitter was cool. You know how it works, you hear about something from your hipster friends, you say you don’t need it but eventually you dive in, love it and then abandon it. Come on, how often do you update your Facebook page now?

Furthermore, those who fan the flames of cool, the young ‘uns, are always on the hunt for the latest and the greatest, moving on to new social networks their parents are unaware of, only to abandon them when they fall out of favor, or when everybody else is there, or lose their cred.

Do we need a real time news service? One in which we can learn the comings and goings of those we’re interested in and facts from the street from the millions of reporters that the traditional media industry cannot provide?

Yes.

So you’ll find out the world ended first on Twitter.

But you won’t get any analysis. That’s hard to do in 140 characters.

You might even find out your favorite singer got hitched or busted or smashed his or her car in a DUI.

But do we really want to know the comings and goings of everyday people?

No.

Call it the blockbuster mentality. We’re not interested in what most people do, only a few.

Remember when every day your inbox was cluttered with a joke? I haven’t gotten one in years. Because people were thrilled they could connect with old friends from around the world, but they really didn’t have much to say past the initial greeting, so they sent jokes. But now everybody expects to be in contact with everybody they ever knew all the time. So there are no jokes. E-mail is for business. Maybe personal, but people complain when their inbox is being cluttered.

Facebook was cool for a minute because you could hook up with those you’d lost touch with and burnish your own self-image, trying to tell your high school buddies you’d won. But then you realized that once you graduated, no one really cared. As a result, it’s only a hard core who are Facebooking today.

And there’s only a hard core who are tweeting.

I’ve about given up. Because unless I reach deep down inside, try to be witty and viral all the time, unless I consider it my job, almost nothing I have to say will be seen by almost anybody, and it’s just too frustrating to continue. So I’ve dropped out. And so have so many others. Oh, we’ve still got Albert Brooks and Kelly Oxford, but so many I used to follow have gone silent.

To be replaced by newbies with even less to say. Who believe if they just keep tweeting something good will happen to them. But we’ve already forgotten about the kings and queens of MySpace. And if you’re not frustrated with counter games, you’re not playing.

You know what I mean… How many friends do you have? How many likes? How many followers? I mean I competed in high school to get into a good college, grade-grubbing all the way. I gave that up when I got to Middlebury, you want me to play that game again now?

Yup, if I’ve got a low count I’m nobody and there’s always someone with more followers. Either I can stay up at night dreaming how to raise my count or I can get frustrated and leave the arena. Because Twitter followers are like virtual badges, they’re ultimately meaningless. You stop playing that video game, the slate is wiped clean. It’s not like being the king of Twitter pays.

And so many of the tweets are personal preference. Everybody in America is lonely and looking to be important. They believe someone is interested in their travails when the truth is we all live in silos, unless you’re truly famous, which comes with its own set of downsides.

And the news people are trumpeting this stuff you can live without. Links to some blog or videoclip done by some hack with no impact. Or else it’s the same viral sensation you’re already aware of, like that video about the fox. And then the mainstream media hypes the same damn thing making like it’s important when it’s truly not.

But don’t get me started on viral videos. Used to be if you had 700,000 views I was wowed. Then a couple million. Today if you don’t have ten million views of your video I’m shrugging my shoulders. You’re just a drop in the ocean. The standards have risen.

That’s what’s happened all over the world. The exceptional have won and those below just can’t. It’s just like income inequality. But since too many people can’t work or are underemployed they believe if they win in one of these fake games online, like Twitter, then their lives will be worth living.

Yes, Twitter is the new reality TV, only with a lot fewer viewers and not even scale pay.

The Internet has turned into a giant game that everybody’s trying to win at and few can. Remember when everybody was gonna have a Webpage, then a blog? How long do you think they’re gonna be interested in Tumblr or Pinterest? Remember how long Turntable.fm lasted?

So I won’t say there’s nothing there at Twitter. There is a kernel. A nugget. But following people is time-consuming, and ever less fulfilling. As for participating yourself, why would you?