I’m losing status at the high school
I used to think that it was my school

They say it’s the greatest time of your life.

Hogwash!

If you were a cheerleader, captain of the football team…if you were popular in high school chances are you were not part of the rock revolution. No, I’m not talking about the Beatles, but what came after, the FM revolution, the Mothers Of Invention.

This was back when the length of your hair meant something. Before even the nerds grew it long and made us all indistinguishable.

It would be hard for youngsters to understand, how we all weren’t part of a cohesive group, how we all didn’t text each other and have friends with benefits. The sixties were completely different. There were winners and losers. And the hard core music fans were the latter, music was all they had. They weren’t good-looking enough… Talk about bullying? Today’s not in the league of yesteryear, when your parents just told you to take it, that it was part of growing up, and there were hoods who pushed you around physically…now you can’t even touch anybody!

And then you’d discover something like the Mothers Of Invention and your whole life made sense, you felt like there was someone on your side. That’s why these rock stars were our heroes. Because they weren’t like the establishment, they were outsiders, just like us. You say you want to sell out? That’s what I hate about you. I don’t want in, in sucks, I was never accepted there, screw them.

That’s what we all said back then, screw you! We let our freak flags fly high!

The other night we painted posters
We played some records by the Coasters
Wah wah wah wah
A bunch of pom-pom girls looked down their nose at me
They had painted tons of posters, I had painted three
I hear those secret whispers everywhere I go
My school spirit is at an all time low

Ha! They’d rope us into the activities, but we just didn’t do them right, and then they snickered behind our backs. But then we discovered the alternative culture and we didn’t care anymore.

It was so different from today. Alternative wasn’t a format on MTV. FM was a vast wasteland the radio companies ignored, they only let deejays play this stuff because the government said they couldn’t simulcast the same signal they were using on AM. Ratings were abysmal. But then they grew. This was where honesty lived. Scott Muni talked at light speed on AM, but on FM he was a cool cat.

They want to make you a monkey. It’s no different today. You think you’re winning by going into finance, but the joke’s on you, you’ve got to do that job. And during the days of yore you had an option, you could play in a band. But only the most dedicated and out there could make it. You think Bruce Springsteen is just like you but nothing could be further from the truth, in high school you wouldn’t even talk to him!

“Status Back Baby” emerges on side two of “Absolutely Free” and it’s a complete surprise, it sounds not a whit like what came before. That was part of Zappa’s genius, he could play in multiple styles, he could mix it up, he could dazzle you.

And the joke of this sing-songy number was the last thing you wanted was your status back.

And as the years wore on, more and more people crossed the line to the renegade side.

You’ll either hear this and it will resonate or it won’t.

If it doesn’t, stay on that mouse wheel, think you’re getting ahead, but you’re really not. And if you can’t question authority, if you can’t challenge institutions, you’re never gonna make it in art.

Which is why music sucks today. Being proficient on your instrument is only part of it… WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?

Rhinofy-Status Back Baby

Previous Rhinofy playlists

From: Eric Chaikin
Subject: Re: How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?

Great post on Howard.

I contend that the major eras in the relationship between American mass media and the public are:

0) The Vaudeville Age – Uncle Miltie and Sid Caesar using TV to do vaudeville. It’s all fun. No pretense of a relationship.

1) The Johnny Carson era – the pretense of authenticity in the relationship between host, celebrity and audience. No acknowledgement of inauthenticity.

2) The Letterman era – authentic inauthenticity (“welcome to my television entertainment program”). Acknowledgement that the format and the relationships are inauthentic, but playing within the structure.

3) The Howard Stern era – destruction of inauthenticity. Acknowledgement that the entire relationship between celebrities, hosts and audience is total b.s., total authenticity between host, guests and audience. Milking it for all it’s worth.

I contend that there was a moment we crossed into the Stern era: when Gennifer Flowers held a news conference (paid for by the Star tabloid) to announce some “serious, political news”. The rest of the media reporters treated the whole thing with b.s. gravitas. And Stuttering John asked: “Gennifer – will you be sleeping with any other presidential candidates?” (As in: “What’s your next project?”) He was hustled out of the room as if he wasn’t taking the moment seriously enough. But it was exactly what that b.s. dog and pony show deserved. And there was no going back.

How to characterize the post-Stern era?

I guess you’d have to go Kardashian: complete pretense of authenticity.

From: Matthew Milam
Subject: Poker

As someone that works in the movie business, this email hit close to home.  I often wonder why TV has eclipsed movies in terms of great content and you basically lay it out in the below email.

In the 80s, you had 15 – 20 movie studios each putting out 20 pictures a year.  When you need to produce 400 films, you’ve sometimes just got to give a kid 10 million bucks and tell him to come back with something great.  At the same time, you had 3 (4 if you count Fox) TV networks who had to play it safe.  They were the only game in town and they were putting out content that had to attract advertisers.

Cut to 2013 and the roles have been flipped.  You’ve got 10 studios each putting out a diminishing number of pictures every year.  They’ve got to play it safe because they’re taking fewer bites at the apple.  Innovation has ceased in the pursuit of the sure dollar – an oxymoron if there ever was one.

Then, in TV, you’ve got God knows how many channels all clamoring for content.  A day doesn’t pass where you don’t hear about some network jumping into the scripted TV game.

THEY NEED CONTENT!  It’s amazing because they’ll give anyone the cash to do it just to try to put something on screen.  I know you hate the show, but look at the model of what FX did for Louis CK.  That’s how you get innovation – give talented people money and let them do their thing.  Don’t dictate.  There isn’t a formula, at least not one that’s going to stay fresh.

If you want eyeballs, let people press the envelope and try crazy, scary shit.

Matthew Milam

Skydance Productions
Los Angeles, CA

www.skydance.com

_________________________________________

Read the article “Can We Please Stop Talking About TV” in today’s “Wall Street Journal”

Forget the snark, it’s just utterly fascinating that in my lifetime television has evolved from a vast wasteland to the go-to storytelling medium. It’s all about chances and innovation, something sorely lacking in the music business. Oh, everybody gets a chance, but there’s very little innovation. I love Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky,” but it’s so reminiscent of the seventies I expect the Hues Corporation to come on next. Unfortunately, music is mature, and nobody involved will admit it. Jazz was a breakthrough. Rock and roll was a breakthrough. Hip-hop was a breakthrough. And now all we’ve got is imitation and wannabe music. Except for electronic music. Like the foregoing breakthroughs, it’s divisive. Younger people not wed to past forms embrace it. It doesn’t fit the previous model, one based on airplay and record sales. And that’s one of the main reasons EDM is burgeoning.

At some point in the future, the slate will be wiped clean and music will return. But that could be decades. The baby boomers have to die, the major labels have to fade, we need artists and businessmen employing their own money who are first and foremost following their own passion. Then again, that’s one thing EDM delivers today, it’s just like rock and roll in that the attendance is staggering and so are the paydays. The way out is risk, but corporations, which run the music business, abhor risk. Hell, they’ve got stockholders and quarterly reports and their employees all have bonuses tied to results. And what makes me scratch my head is the desire of young people to hook up with these dinosaurs. It illustrates to me you’ve got no shame, you’re as decrepit and soulless and averse to change as your grandparents.

I miss Howard.

I hope Mr. Stern is having fun on AGT this week, because it’s doing nothing for his career. Swinging for the fences, playing for an audience that just doesn’t care, he’s abandoned his hard core and we’re going through withdrawal.

This is not about Howard Stern. You don’t have to subscribe to Sirius or listen to his radio program to understand the point I’m making. That to truly triumph you’ve got to be so good that we miss you when you’re gone. Which is rare in today’s overmarketed society. You keep telling us to pay attention when what we really want to do is run away. Then there are performers who we just can’t get enough of, who we consider family members, who have three-dimensional personalities and are so real we believe if we ran into them on the street we’d connect like best buddies.

Last weekend I read “The New York Times” and was stunned how mediocre most of the writing was. And the “Times” eclipses every newspaper but the “Wall Street Journal.” Then I came across an article by Philip Roth and it intrigued me and cut like butter, and I’m not even a big fan of the New Jerseyite, not since the early novels like “Goodbye Columbus” and “Portnoy’s Complaint,” but it’s undeniable that Roth can write.

So I’m pushing the buttons on the Sirius dial and I get a bunch of people laughing on the Cosmo channel. This is entertaining why? This is how television news has been ruined over the past four decades, you’re so busy looking chummy that you’ve forgotten the reason you’re there, which is to inform us. TV news has lost the plot.

And just because they call it the morning zoo, that doesn’t mean we want to listen to the animals. Outrageous is not a sustainable act. Stunts wear thin. You’re telling a story on the radio, it’s theatre of the mind, there has to be continuity and plot, no one can watch, never mind listen to, fireworks all day long.

You start listening to Stern and you wonder who all the extraneous people are. Ronnie Mund? Scott DePace? And then their personalities are revealed, and you realize you know people just like them in real life. Benji said he didn’t know the definition of the word “annoying,” even though he was accurately described as the poster boy for that archetype. The raw frustration of intersecting with so many people is beautifully evidenced on the Stern show.

And instead of being constantly self-deprecating, or only telling us how great he is, like a rapper, Howard veers from side to side, edge to edge. He says how he goes to parties and he gets uptight because he’s got nothing to say, the people scare him. Wow, I feel exactly the same way!

And then there are the interviews. Amy Schumer revealed she made 900k last year and I was astounded. My best friends won’t tell me how much they make. And when I tweeted about it, Amy tracked me down and asked if she’d committed a faux pas. Huh? Suddenly I’m part of a private club, which is bigger than the mainstream clubs we’re constantly being dunned about.

That’s the modern paradigm. Nobody is the king of all media, nobody is everywhere. You’ve just got your niche, how big is it?

And if you’re playing to people outside it, you’re missing the point. They don’t care. Expanding the brand? So Howard goes on “America’s Got Talent” and judges acts not even edgy enough to appear on the “Gong Show”? How can he be so wise and so stupid at the same time? Howard went to Sirius too early, but now the time is right, only those who care pay attention. And more people listen to Howard than watch the late night talk show hosts the mainstream press keeps bloviating about.

Now I’m not saying Stern should do what I want him to, be on the radio five mornings a week. But I am saying he’s wasting his time playing to those who aren’t core fans.

As for Howard’s core fans… Listen to the Superfan Roundtable, where the commentators reference things that happened years ago. There’s even a Celebrity Superfan Roundtable, hosted by Jeff Probst, featuring diehard fans like Natalie Maines. And you’re probably clueless as to all this, but that’s how strong a bond people have to Howard Stern.

And unlike everything but hoity-toity NPR, Howard sells product. Go on his show and watch your album fly up the iTunes chart.

And it’s all because he’s so damn good.

You think it’s just talking into a microphone. You think anybody can play the guitar, anybody can have a hit record, but it takes years to hone your act, and dedication… Howard does lament that AGT interferes with his schedule, he doesn’t have enough time to prepare!

And you can hear his preparation. And he extracts information from his guests no one else does. Since it’s radio the interviews go on forever. They’re not beholden to the Letterman formula, which is it’s all comedy, it’s all leading to punch lines.

Life is not a punch line.

Life is a series of highs and lows, speeding freeways and dead ends. And when you’re on the 405, forced to listen to the drivel on the hundred other radio stations, you yearn for Howard Stern like your best bud from college, you just want to have conversation that’s in the pocket, that makes you feel alive and connected.

I’m stunned how much time I dedicate to Howard.

But after this execrable week, being forced to listen to lame music and a rehash of the news, I’m ready for more.

Howard Stern built Sirius. Without him, it’s toast.

That’s the power of the individual, that’s the power of entertainment, that’s the power of art.

If you’re not so damn good that people clamor for you when you go away, you’re a second-rate player who can be forgotten instantly.

Howard, COME BACK!

P.S. Radio, the most ancient of mass media, is positively modern in the hands of Howard Stern. He knows it’s not about what you did in the past, but what you keep doing. Dedicated fans don’t want reruns, they want new stuff. There’s never enough new stuff for a hard core fan, isn’t that my point? By constantly creating new material, playing to the core, not worrying about the penumbra, Stern is doing what modern musicians should be doing but refuse to. You’re not selling hits, but a career. It’s the opposite of the nineties. Anybody can have a hit record, but can you sustain?