The most shocking thing I saw today is Jimmy Iovine without his baseball cap.

And I say this in a good way. Because if Jimmy can own who he is, after playing at being young for so many decades, denying his hair loss, then maybe he can impart this honesty to his acts, implore them to reach down deep inside and say who they really are, because that’s when I can relate.

Did you listen to Jian Ghomeshi’s interview with Joni Mitchell?

If you’ve ever hung around her, you know Joni’s difficult. Say something offhand, don’t get it exactly right, and she’ll call you on it. She bristles at being called confessional. What is she confessing, she’s telling the truth! She hates feminists, because they hate men, she loves men and will go toe to toe with them. And when done right, her music allows you to see yourself in it. It’s what you take away as opposed to what she’s saying. The cult of celebrity is faux, it leads nowhere, wanna know what’s going on? Look inside!

And if you want to get into Joni, and you should, start with “Blue.” Then go to “For The Roses.” Then “Ladies Of The Canyon.” Then “Hejira.” Then “Clouds.” How do I know, I’ve listened to them INCESSANTLY!

Unlike Rob Sheffield, who’s excoriated in today’s “New York Times” Book Review for his put-down of prog rock in his review of a compendium entitled “Yes Is The Answer.” Huh? So you hate this music Rob…isn’t that like getting a baby boomer to rant against rap?

And in the same “Rolling Stone” wherein there’s a pic of a chapeau-free Iovine, there’s a complimentary review of the new Black Sabbath and a put-down of 30 Seconds To Mars’ new album. I’d bet Jared Leto’s new compendium outsells Ozzy’s. Because Jared knows it’s all about his fans, whereas Ozzy plays to the press and is all about the money, hell, why else would he get together with Iommi and Butler, other than the fact that he’s run out of options and can’t sell tickets?

If you’re listening to podcasts, and you should, be sure to check out Thom Yorke talking to Alec Baldwin, because he’s not the guy you think he is, rather than being a brooding narcissist, Thom’s more the bloke next door, enthralled by his heroes, calling them up to work with him. And when asked about new music Yorke says…it’s like a pebble in a waterfall.

Ain’t that the truth.

I wish I had the answer. But I’ll guarantee you it’s not a top-down thing, you don’t succeed by bombarding everybody with press and then hoping you catch a few, that’s a positively ancient model, today you grow from the ground up, and it makes absolutely no difference what the professional critical class has to say about you, because they’re not the target audience and your fans are not reading them. These writers are for the grazers. Who is going to read a great review and decide to check something out? A non-fan, who probably won’t stick. A real fan doesn’t care about the review and lives and dies for you, is stuck to you, and will implore others to get on board.

There’s just too much information. If you’re not overwhelmed, you’re lying. Every weekend there’s a dozen new movies. You can be on a TV show and no one knows your name. Everything that used to mean something no longer does. Appear on a late night talk show? It’s like pissing in the wind.

What we’ve got is a new media economy, ruled by its users, with an old media commentary society trying to catch up at best.

In other words, five minutes with Jared Leto is far superior to five minutes with Ozzy. Because Jared is all about thoughts and ideas, Ozzy is a bumbling fool out to sell product. And if you think many people are concerned with the latter, you’re wrong. You may slow down to watch the train-wreck, but you’re not gonna stop the car and get out and help.

And I LIKE Ozzy. Back when he was the insider’s secret, before the TV show, which killed his act, alienating his core fans, who now not only don’t go to the show, but don’t bring new fans in.

That’s how I got in, via a fan. I was taken to the “No More Tears” show twenty years ago and haven’t stopped talking about it since. Back when nobody but those in attendance knew Ozzy threw water on the audience and had them wave their hands high above their heads.

I’m trying to figure out what’s happening. I’m trying to see the forest for the trees. It’s complicated, but my brethren scribes are all doing it the same old way, which has me wondering why I’m paying attention, since you’re surely not.

Jimmy Iovine hatless: page 21 of the June 20, 2013 issue of “Rolling Stone”

Jian Ghomeshi interviews Joni Mitchell-6/11/13

Thom Yorke On “Here’s The Thing”

It’s a beautiful, sunny, Southern California Saturday and I’m killing time reading magazines before I up and go to parties.

Yup, that’s why the summer is better than the winter, the extracurricular activities. First we’re stopping by at a Middlebury event, and if there’s time left thereafter, we’re going to Kevin Weaver’s house for an Atlantic Records soiree, where they’re serving Umami Burgers…mmm, that’s worth the trip, don’t you think?

As for the Middlebury event…it’s my first in decades, but they tracked me down after I was featured in the “Magazine,” so I’m gonna go. But funny thing about the article…I thought it would mean more to me, all these years later, to get a write-up in the publication of my alma mater, but if you’re fighting old battles in your head, if you think connecting with a long lost love will make your life complete, it’s evidence you’re not living in the present, which I finally am, to my great wonderment and surprise.

Anyway, I want to clear the decks so I can get back to my book, Elizabeth Strout’s “The Burgess Boys.” It didn’t get such hot reviews, it hasn’t caught fire, but it’s ringing my bell, the way it’s so intimate, it doesn’t seem to be written for the reader, it’s like you’re eavesdropping on a conversation, and in a world where it’s all about the whizz-bang, to focus on the little, the irrelevant to most, is so satisfying.

I’m back on a book kick. I’m burned out on the lousy writing in magazines and newspapers. And Amazon replaced my four year old Kindle with a new Paperwhite, oh I had to pay fifty bucks, but it was a thrill after being on hold and wasting two hours with nitwits in their customer service department. It’s not like Apple, the people are not comprehensible and they’re just this side of useless, and the Paperwhite…is imperfect, it’s got glowing hot spots at the bottom, everybody complains about them online, but I’m doing my best to overlook them.

So I read Meg Wolitzer’s “The Interestings.” Long on plot, a bit short on insight, it’s still the Franzen novel for those who hate his work. And if you ever went to summer camp… I got hooked on these looking back books with Sara Davidson’s “Loose Change” in the seventies, I like them. And then I read Claire Messud’s “The Woman Upstairs,” which the intelligentsia raved about, despite tepid reviews upon release, and I was expecting a dry tome, but it opens so vividly, so realistically, that I was hooked. And the protagonist went to Middlebury! Not that that’s relevant. And I had to look up words constantly. And the plot petered out. But there was so much insight! We’re all so lonely, looking for fulfillment. And are those who do the right thing consigned to a life of quiet desperation? Read it and tell me!

And I can’t tell you how many lousy articles I skimmed, until I found a good one in “Vanity Fair”…an excerpt from Ava Gardner’s memoir. The real story about her relationships with Mickey Rooney and Frank Sinatra and Artie Shaw. It’s almost worth the price of the magazine. But the article I saved, the best for last, just like Vanessa Williams sang, was the one on Mary McCarthy and her book “The Group.”

I read it. The book. The article I had to skim, it was nearly pointless. Except something stood out. THE SALES FIGURES!

“The Group,” which was released in August 1963, had a first printing of 75,000. Stores were ordering 5,000 a day thereafter. By the close of 1964, nearly 300,000 copies had been sold.

Like a record.

Yes, books were supplanted by records. You wanted to write the Great American Novel and then you wanted to record the Great American Album. And writers and musicians still believe we’re living in yesteryear, but nothing could be further from the truth.

In other words, if I’m exposed to any more of the Kanye hype, I’m gonna explode. Because I just don’t CARE!

That’s the difference, that’s what the Internet has wrought. Instead of the populace being hyper-focused on what’s hyped, most of us can quite easily avoid it, we’re deep into our own niches. The number one record? MOST PEOPLE HAVEN’T EVEN HEARD IT!

But we all know Google, we all know Facebook, we all know iPhone.

So having flipped through “Vanity Fair,” I picked up “Outside,” and started reading from the back, which is what I usually do, the front is too scary, I’ve got to ease into my reading. And it was there that I was confronted with a story on Joel Gratz. Of OpenSnow. Or should I say opensnow.com, the go-to precipitation/powder website.

Huh?

Believe me, if you’re a skier, you know Open Snow, you know Joel Gratz, he’s the one who every day, sometimes twice a day, tells you how much snow you’re gonna get at your ski area. Which is devilishly important now that global warming seems to have stopped winter precipitation, this season was better than last, but 2011-12 was the worst on record in Vail.

How did I find out about OpenSnow?

Andy!

We all talk, we all communicate, I was just about to text Andy about this article, even though he’s in Colorado right now, just flew in from his home base of NYC. Yes, today our closest friends don’t live in the neighborhood, but the virtual village online. I connect with Jake and Marc and Richard more than I do with the people who live in my town, even though they live in Toronto, New Jersey and London respectively.

Joel Gratz gave up his dream, of weather-forecasting. He tried to go straight, getting his Master’s, an MBA and a cubicle gig. But he couldn’t give up on weather. That’s how you know you’re a lifer, when you can’t give up. Gratz quit his job and started his site.

And word spread.

Because we need to know.

I hate Accuweather, my old go-to weather provider.  Because it’s not LOCALIZED enough! What they say is Vail is miles away and thousands of feet lower than the ski area, and this makes a huge difference. Hell, it can be snowing atop a peak and bright sunshine a mile from the base.

So Joel showed his work to Chris Davenport, famous Aspenite, famous extreme skier, and word started to spread, because we need the information. Not that OpenSnow scales, I mean Gratz has widened his world to New England and the west coast, but most people just don’t care about snowfall, they’d rather it NEVER happens.

But we do. Enough of us to keep Joel in business. He’s now running a freemium model. Yup, you can pay more for more, like videos and other chozzerai. And there are people who are just that interested.

So, there’s a business in niches. Maybe your music doesn’t scale to everybody.

But what’s weird is no music scales to everybody today. There’s no hit everybody knows, no show everybody’s got to go to.

But we all know the aforementioned Google, Facebook and iPhone. And we know Amazon too.

And it’s all because they’re useful, they provide a service.

That’s the modern model, that’s what’s hip today.

Sure, write your book, make your music, but know the heyday of those creations is past. Could come back, then again, there was only one Renaissance. Oh, people have been painting ever since, it’s just that painting…doesn’t drive the culture.

But no one in book publishing or the music industry will admit the foregoing. They believe it’s the same as it ever was. But it’s not. The nitwits might go on TV talent shows, but the educated want nothing to do with the so-called arts, they’re all into tech, and tech is about being useful, because useful SCALES!

If it’s not in the newspaper, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Just because the newspaper says it’s important, that doesn’t mean it is.

Don’t confuse ink with traction. You can hire a PR person, be all over the media, and no one can care.

Just because you’re on TV, don’t assume everyone’s seen you.

Don’t assume anyone’s seen anything in the media today, we’re all so drilled down into our own little holes that everybody misses much, and doesn’t care when they’re called out on it. The concept of feeling better about yourself because you know about something somebody else does not, or you know it sooner, is passe.

Don’t trust the newspaper. Those are reporters. We want someone who lives that beat all day long, not someone who does a bit of research and tries to put the story together. Old school journalists are concerned with the w’s, the where, when, why and…how. You can only get so far asking questions. But if you live it all day long, you know the history and you know the context. Chances are, on everything other than front page news, there’s a maven online with a website who knows more about it than the traditional reporters.

Reporters get it wrong. Not only do they misquote, they make stuff up. And oftentimes, editors change things so they’re not accurate, sometimes to justify their jobs, other times for space.

If someone’s in the media, being interviewed and quoted everywhere, they’re a whore, they’re into the publicity. Anybody with a profile knows that the media gets it wrong, so they do their best to stay out. So if you see someone incessantly, whether it be Kim Kardashian or John McCain, know they’re working it.

You can tell your own story online. If you’re concerned about the truth, do so. But the real story is you can’t inform everybody, no longer how much you protest, people will spread rumors and false information. Focus on your work, not the sales pitch.

Almost everything in the newspaper other than hard news, i.e. killings and political situations, is placed there by PR people. PR people make it easy for reporters, they fill up the paper. If you think someone in the arts department sits down and decides the important stories, you’re dreaming. They’re concerned first and foremost with access. That’s what PR people do, deliver stories, they write the newspaper…

TV news is what you see and usually nothing more. Other than sticking a camera in someone’s face, shooting a tragedy, there’s almost no one in the field scouring for news and developing stories. If you think you’re getting the real story on TV, you haven’t read the newspaper, which is where TV gets all its leads.

Rupert Murdoch has a viewpoint. He tries to change public opinion via Fox News and his newspapers. If you see a left wing position in his outlets, it’s a straw man ready to be struck down.

Don’t try to convince someone their political position is wrong. They’ll just dig down deeper and e-mail you a contrary opinion by their favorite blogger. People change their opinions over time, by themselves, via a plethora of information. This is the essence of gay marriage. Once everybody saw everybody else was for it, they were too.

Politicians are last. They stay far from the leading edge and are beholden to corporations. If you’re looking for leadership, you should look to artists. Unfortunately, in today’s challenging financial times, artists have been derelict in their duty, they too want to be beholden to corporations.

Just because someone analyzes deeply, that does not mean they’re right. Today, you must do your own analysis. In other words, you must be educated. Which most people are not. The mark of an educated person? Someone who can hold two opposing thoughts in their brain at one time. If you’re just a knee-jerker…you’re gonna get jerked around.

“The New Yorker” is the best-written mainstream publication. But that does not mean it’s always right or on the cutting edge or can influence policy. It just means it’s the most rewarding reading experience. Too many magazines focus on the glitz and not the substance…then again, the average person can’t understand substance.

You see Kim Kardashian in the news because you want to. Want to banish her? Stop reading the stories.

The press stopped hounding Owen Wilson after his suicide attempt, demonstrating it can exercise restraint. But somehow, it never does. If the press didn’t report every move, would Amanda Bynes fly straight? Lindsay Lohan?

See who is paying the bills… Trust trade magazines and sites for raw data, discard the analysis, they say positive things about those who pay them.

Beware the professional prognosticators… Who said the iPod was too expensive and no one would want the iPad. Now digital music rules and tablets are killing the desktop. Furthermore, reporters on this beat go to the same damn pundits every time, skewing the story. But the iPod and iPad show that the pundits are powerless. The people will do what they want to do.

“Huffington Post” has a better layout than the “New York Times,” but is purely link-bait. The “New York Times” site needs a makeover, but no one working there understands design or the web, they’re too busy pounding their chests and claiming they’re reporters. What did Steve Jobs teach us? Number one comes usability!

“USA Today” is irrelevant. Because its bland stories are done better online, and no one’s got a captive audience anymore, you can get the news on your phone, you don’t need a physical paper.

There’s a need for local news, but local newspapers can’t make it financially. The “New York Times” and “Wall Street Journal” survive, everything else is up for grabs.

People need news. They don’t need to get it from traditional sources.

There’s new news every day, want your story to survive? Keep it alive, keep making news every day.

Kids today know more news than their parents, they’re exposed to it all day long.

I know, I know, we’re supposed to like David Lee Roth Van Halen better, and I do, but…

That does not mean that Sammy’s version of the band was no good…

So Dave thinks he’s a star, a veritable one man band, covering classics and promoting them with extravaganzas on the breakout MTV. And then…

Word comes down that the Van Halens have hooked up with Sammy Hagar. Who they famously met through their exotic car mechanic, back when musicians were rich, before everybody found out the money was in tech and players invested in startups instead of iron.

And I’m a Sammy fan. Probably because of Montrose, but even more the Capitol years, with Carter…do you know the second solo, which started off with “Red,” but had the hilarious “The Pits” on side two? I bought it, I became a fan.

But then…

John Kalodner recognizes Sammy’s greatness, signs him to Geffen and he starts having hits. The debut had two, “There’s Only One Way To Rock” and…”I’ll Fall In Love Again”! Produced by Keith Olsen, I won’t say you hear the Fleetwood Mac influence, but there’s a melody, a subtlety, sonic extras that were absent previously.

And then, on the follow-up, there’s another one of these melodic smashes, “Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy”…

And then comes the apotheosis, the ubiquitous “I Can’t Drive 55.”

The track was great, it’s just that Sammy looked like such a doofus in the video, wearing the one piece yellow outfit. Huh? I thought the guy was a heartland rocker. But now Sammy inhabited a place somewhere between Fontana and Hollywood…a no man’s land. I mean it was a great track, but did you have to chew the scenery?

That’s MTV… Everybody knows your name overnight, and then everybody looks at each other and says…eewww!

Now Eddie Van Halen’s trajectory was just the opposite. Seen as a Starwood/Gazzarri’s metalhead in new wave crazy L.A., with every album the cognoscenti shifted its opinion, suddenly Eddie was seen as possibly the world’s best guitarist, certainly the most innovative player with any traction. But he had no lead singer, his was a band without a frontman.

So you match the credible with the cartoon and..?

Sammy tones down his act. Retires the clothes and becomes about the music. Although it takes the better part of two years to hear the result. And when “Why Can’t This Be Love” hit the airwaves…at first you weren’t sure, but almost immediately thereafter you couldn’t hear it enough.

It was Eddie’s playing, the sound. From the intro to the breaks, it was an Eddie tour-de-force, with Sammy doing what a frontman should do…SING! Sammy was the anti-Dave, he was a team player, with no antics…and he could hit the notes! Despite being so heavy, there was a certain melody in the track, suddenly Eddie was playing with someone who could sing.

As Sammy did all over the album.

The opener was a little atonal, but after experiencing the single, you were gonna give the album a chance. But really, it was the two songs that finished side one that closed you…

“Dreams”…that’s what we all have, and Eddie mastered the keyboard once again, as he did with “Jump,” and created something infectious, that just made you feel good.

But his guitar skills were back in “Summer Nights.” It was the perfect melding of Eddie and Sammy. Eddie was wailing and Sammy was singing about the good times. Far different from the Dave days, when the songs had a twist, a deeper meaning, but…you could not deny that unlike Dave, Sammy could sing. Sure, it was a different band, a different thing, but it was bigger than the sum of its parts… Very few Dave-era fans were lost, Sammy’s came aboard and a whole bunch of new fans were made, stoked by the ear-friendly music.

But I wouldn’t be writing this if it weren’t for the cut that opens side two, my favorite on the album, the absolute highlight of the Sammy era, “Best Of Both Worlds.” And Sammy’s good, but really it’s all about Eddie, the dynamics. From loud to quiet to loud once again, it’s positively Zeppelinesque, without being a rip-off. It’s a roller coaster, with hills and dives, twists and turns, I can listen to it all day long, it makes me feel so good, powerful, like the rest of the world doesn’t matter.

And “Love Walks In” is a gorgeous ballad, something Dave could never do. And instantaneously the almost impossible is achieved. Yes, Genesis replaced its lead singer, but they were not superstars when they did. Van Halen was at the top, and then they got Sammy and they were BIGGER!

And from there…

“OU812” was almost as good.

But then sophomoric Sammy gained undue influence and despite great sales, the music was less meaningful and more pedestrian. “Poundcake”? Dave would never sing that. Sammy doesn’t believe in subtlety, and he continued to pull the rest of the band along with him and then…

It all expired.

The Van Halens got together with Gary Cherone, a blatant mistake.

And then reunited with Dave.

Then Sammy.

Then Dave.

But one thing’s for sure, the star is Eddie… Who’s got nothing in his life other than music, that was Sammy’s bitch with him, that he never wanted to take time off.

And Eddie was so good, that hooked up with journeyman Sam, he once again made memorable music, he didn’t need Dave.

But Eddie always needs somebody.

Rhinofy-5150

Previous Rhinofy playlists