Louie – So Did the Fat Girl

This is what music used to do. And movies too.

Truth. The human condition. The disconnect between fantasy and reality. Where are we supposed to see this?

Television.

Used to be books. Before “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Now fantasy rules there too.

But being human is hard. Because being human is about being imperfect, in a world where it’s constantly reinforced that you can’t be.

George Clooney, Jennifer Lawrence… Their lives are better than yours will ever be, but if you could just meet them…

And sure, it’s been this way forever, star adulation. But never have we seen the stars’ warts so clearly, yet people still believe, that there’s something better out there for them.

Kind of like the single guys. They can’t date someone imperfect. Not only will it wreck the public’s perception of them, but their own self-image.

And the truth is no one cares. There you’ve got it. No one cares about you. Except maybe your mother and father, your sisters and brothers. The rest? Rise above and they’ll put you down, but truly, no one goes to bed thinking about anyone other than themselves.

So therefore, people are afraid to start. The whole world is about being afraid to start. Looking stupid, making a mistake. Forget all this hogwash about tech stars failing. They succeeded so much before that. Went to an Ivy League school, raised millions of dollars. They’re the outliers. You? You’re just a regular guy.

But the sport of guys is putting each other down, saying how much better they are. And you can’t reveal something that will have you sliding down the totem pole. So you must constantly burnish your image, play up who you know, where you’ve been, your privilege and accomplishments, otherwise… Otherwise WHAT?

I’m not saying every guy should hold hands with a fat girl.

But I am saying if someone is nice to you, and understands you, and complements you, you’ve got to overlook some imperfections.

And women… You say you want a guy, but so often you don’t. You’re caught in the nest of your girlfriends. Spewing inaccurate flattery left and right.

Yes, it’s different for girls. They’re not putting each other down. But they’re also setting men up on blind dates with their perfect friends with no idea how guys see them. She’s single, you are too, VOILA!

But it’s more than that, it’s chemistry.

And chemistry happens when you least expect it, when you’ve got your guard down. Like life.

All this hogwash about preparation. You can’t prepare for life, you can’t visualize what’s coming. Sure, learn math and science, get the basics, but a good life lived well is all about the unexpected.

And when it comes to love, that’s what it’s all about, you find it when you’re not looking.

Assuming you’re looking.

If you never come up to bat, your chops will be poor when you meet someone right.

So in this “Louie” clip Sarah Baker is so honest that she becomes beautiful, she becomes attractive, because that’s what we’re all looking for, some truth and honesty in our lives.

Instead we get an endless parade of “winners” and lies. As if everybody didn’t put their pants on the same way.

But they do!

And sure, if you lose thirty pounds, more guys will chase you. But are those the ones you want? The ones you can’t eat around?

And guys… If you make a million dollars and dress like you’re in a magazine your sexual options will increase, but is that truly your desire, to date V. Stiviano?

And I don’t expect anything to change.

No, maybe that’s wrong.

I don’t expect anybody in a traditional power position to effect change.

But I do know that art changes people.

I’ll make it this simple. MTV decreased barriers against gays and minorities. I’m not saying MTV eviscerated them, but by watching a rainbow coalition of people on the “Real World,” those at home had their horizons broadened.

And now “Louie” is doing the same thing.

That thing we used to do in music. Where how you looked wasn’t as important as how you played. Where you didn’t want to make the music everybody else did. Where you didn’t want to sell out to the corporation. Because it undermined your credibility, and credibility was everything.

And Louis C.K. is all about credibility, getting it right.

He’s a schlub living a schlub’s life.

He didn’t graduate from college.

He’s not beautiful.

But sheer talent has given him a platform.

And what is he doing with it?

Not flying around to private islands with famous actresses, not plying the red carpet, not appearing on TMZ… But pushing the limits of his art.

Not only is Louis C.K. the anti-Kim Kardashian, he’s the anti-Top Ten, he’s doing what musicians used to do so much better.

What kind of ridiculous world do we live in where television is more honest than music?

One in which the talent wakes up and realizes it’s not a cog in the system and employs its power and insight to go deeper to reveal the human condition.

I can forget your record in five seconds.

I’m not gonna forget this fat girl episode.

Because this is guys. Boasting to their friends, leaving potential happiness behind.

As for women…

You’ve got all the power, Sarah utters a taboo, that the men know and the women will never articulate, that a female can have sex whenever she wants.

But with whom?

Her pickings are slim.

But utilize your wiles and you can get any man you want.

Just by being truthful, honest and open.

Those are the keys to our heart.

And after our heart comes our body.

1. You’d think something important had happened.

2. We used to care about our acts this way.

3. Wall Street bloviators are clueless. It was the Malaysian airliner, but in the tech sphere. Endless speculation by nitwits with no inside information. I’m sure they’re laughing in Cupertino and Santa Monica.

4. Money isn’t everything. But this story proved everybody thinks it is. Sell anything for billions and the whole world cares…but the truth is they don’t. I’m not saying being poor is a thrill, but after a certain point, and it’s statistically very low, cash does not increase your happiness. Or, in other words, once upon a time we praised art, now we praise cash.

5. This is just gonna make the rest of the unprincipled artists chase their tech/financial/corporate dreams. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, there’s NEVER gonna be this kind of money in music, so if money is what turns you on, you shouldn’t play.

6. The overanalysis is mind-boggling. Tim Cook is an operations guy, he’s clueless, the company has no vision and this is evidence of it. Steve Jobs was famous for saying one thing and doing another, decrying this and then doing exactly that. Anybody with a brain knew that streaming was eclipsing downloads. Except at Apple, where they were adhering to Jobs’s philosophy. But it turns out Apple had no Plan B, no streaming service ready to be launched when necessary. It’s like they never read Clayton Christensen’s “Innovator’s Dilemma,” despite it being vaunted in the tech press for over a decade. If you rest on your laurels, you’re gonna be history tomorrow.

7. Yes, this is about music streaming. Do you really think Apple wants to own a headphone company, one built upon fashion?

8. Yes, Angela Ahrendts will figure out a way to sell more Beats headphones, she’s a marketing guru, but that’s the problem with Apple today, it’s all marketing and no innovation/vision.

9. Apple still won’t own music streaming.

10. Never forget the market leader in streaming is YouTube.

11. If you’re still complaining about streaming you’ve missed the future, it’s here, it’s gonna pay big, and the only people complaining are the ignorant musicians.

12. You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em. Jimmy knew that Beats’ music service was doomed, he got out at the right time. As for the headphones, they’ve peaked.

13. You start with free.  Then you charge. Beats had it all wrong, it could never compete with Spotify.

14. We no longer live in an Apple world. Apple dominated music because of the seamless interface of the iPod and iTunes, with the iTunes Store the glue holding it all together. Apple no longer has a market monopoly, and the company is too stupid to strive for this. End game with the iPhone is death (or a niche product with declining software, which IS death). We’ve seen this movie a zillion times before, most famously with the Macintosh. Apple triumphed in this century by dominating, first with the iPod, then with the iPhone and then with the iPad. As that dominance erodes, you come up with a new dominant product, one that hopefully ties all your others together, so far Tim Cook has failed to do this.

15. The fact that Beats Music works on Android is a red herring. No one is looking to pay for streaming yet. Spotify is trying to convince everybody. Instead of being ahead of the curve, Apple is behind. But at least it’s finally in the game.

16. The price is irrelevant. Either this deal will pay out or it won’t. If it doesn’t, Apple’s financial position will not be hurt. But this was a desperation move to get into music streaming, thank god they finally did it, no matter what the price.

17. If Jimmy Iovine goes to Apple, more power to him. But that will indicate the lunatics have taken over the asylum, Apple should first and foremost be about tech, Jimmy is at best a marketer. This would mean Apple is mature, and you know what happens with mature tech companies…

18. Jimmy has created nothing other than wealth. The headphones are mediocre and Beats Music is a me-too service. There’s no story here. Other than a desperate company making a deal with someone with something they need.

19. Apple didn’t want the headphones. They wanted the streaming music service. Jimmy insisted upon selling the whole thing. Makes sense, it gives Apple the illusion of cash flow/profit and it allows Jimmy to take his money off the table all at once.

20. Beats “curation” was a marketing smoke screen, a dollop of fluff made to make the company look attractive.

21. Apple does buy Jimmy’s relationships with the music industry, where he’s held in high regard and has a lot of sway by marrying a peculiar blend of sycophantic behavior with a willingness to draw the line. He already works for Lucian Grainge, so Universal is in his pocket, especially having made the company a windfall profit here. As for Warner… Len Blavatnik invested in Beats, so Jimmy has him tied up too! As for Sony… The company is completely clueless, run by the antiquarian Doug Morris and old school marketer L.A. Reid and nice with no oomph/backbone Rob Stringer, who is no longer protected by his brother. In other words, all this hogwash about expiration of licenses is just that, Jimmy owns the music business, and has great relationships with acts, remember the 9/11 tribute? So, Apple buys Jimmy’s contacts, which are worth something.

22. Dre can’t sell a record. He’s a hip-hop icon, but his recording days are through. Jimmy helped him make coin. He can give Apple vision into the urban market, but Dre, like seemingly every great recording artist as they age, appears to be creatively spent.

23. Spotify… This is the best thing that ever happened to the company. The more Apple promotes streaming music, the more the category blows up.

24. If you assume Beats Music will triumph under Apple, you believe iTunes Radio demolished Pandora, which is completely untrue, although it does appear that iTunes Radio will have worldwide penetration first (although Spotify already has incredible worldwide penetration…) There is a first mover advantage, especially in tech.

25. This has got nothing to do with music. Music is already free on YouTube. In other words, the only people who care about this deal are those with stock in Apple, or who make money off prognosticating about Apple, and those envious of the score Jimmy and company made.

26. Musical artists have more power than Jimmy and Apple combined, but they don’t exercise it. The goal in music isn’t selling out! Which was the goal of Beats from initiation.

27. People will forget about this story in a matter of weeks, the same way the Donald Sterling story will have no legs. Whereas a great record lasts forever.

28. Apple has the deep pockets to compete with Spotify, by making the service free. Beats did not have this money, without this deal, Beats Music dies.

29. Steve Jobs was a visionary with basic precepts. His #1 precept was usability. Since he’s been gone, Apple has broken this again and again. There are confusing, unnecessary features in Mavericks and iOS 7 looks great, but eats battery life and has other flaws (as well as advantages, I must admit.) Jony Ive is a DESIGNER! Design was always important to Jobs, but after FUNCTION! Who will carry the mantle of Steve Jobs? Certainly not Cook and Ive, possibly no one. But Jobs knew how to market, better than anyone, although Iovine is somewhat close. And Jobs knew timing was everything, to jump in when the public was ready. And Jobs knew you had to constantly innovate, but take few chances. That’s what’s bugging the analysts, that this is the chance Cook took. But they’re not looking deep enough, the guy just doesn’t get it! He’s an operations freak. That’s like asking the studio booker to make the record!

30. The ability of the press to miss this story so badly makes me wonder about the accuracy of their reporting on everything else.

P.S. Don’t forget Steve Jobs sang the praises of John Sculley and ultimately regretted the decision to hire him at Apple. Just because Jobs anointed Cook don’t think Steve wouldn’t regret this decision today. Because Cook delivers numbers, but not products. Creative companies must be run by creative people, never forget that. In other words, Jimmy Iovine knows little about electronics and almost nothing about code, but he managed to create the Beats headphone juggernaut (Monster provided the tech) and Beats Music (MOG provided the tech). In other words, creativity is all about individuals. And either you’ve got insight and the ability to execute, to assemble disparate components for an unforeseen future, or you don’t. We love the visionaries and the dreamers, we don’t love Tim Cook. Many liked Van Halen with Sammy, but the band’s legend was built with Dave. Love him or hate him, you’ve got to admit Dave has a viewpoint, a persona, a personality. Sam may have the pipes, but once again, success is about vision, not raw talent, Steve Wozniak was the tech genius of the Apple II, but without Steve Jobs, he was nowhere. It appears that without Steve Jobs, Apple is nowhere.

The best band you’ve never heard.

It matters what label you’re on, and whether you’re a priority. And being on RCA left the Silencers not a priority and with no career, as the label was in transition. But the only records I played more in the nineties were those of Shawn Colvin, although the sound is nothing similar.

ANSWER ME

The opening track on the second album, “A Blues For Buddha,” I heard this on a cassette deck in the parking lot of the Le Parc Hotel and was immediately swayed.

It was passionate radio promotion man Kevin Sutter who implored me to give it a chance, and I was immediately blown away, I wanted a CD, just to hear this mellifluous number once again.

It starts quietly and builds, like a band walking over a hill through the mist into your burg.

Why is it the music I like most has acoustic elements, why am I a sucker for a good voice, why is it the music that moves me most is never a classic Top Forty hit but stuff like “Answer Me,” with its violin and infectious groove… If this is your wheelhouse it will BLOW YOUR MIND!

PAINTED MOON

Actually, the band got airplay on this, from their 1987 debut, “A Letter From St. Paul.”

This is hooky, and you can see why radio went on it, but it never broke through, but that does not mean it’s not great.

A LETTER FROM ST. PAUL

The title track. Essentially an instrumental, with a spoken interlude…that letter.

This will set your mind free and make you think about the possibilities.

I love it!

BLUE DESIRE

Even more, I like this. Wasn’t always so, but you know how you end up knowing the cut after your favorite because the album slips into it… “Blue Desire” comes after “A Letter From St. Paul.”

It’s the vocal… As if you stumbled into an alley and the song is being sung in confidence, just to you, whew!

If you check this out you won’t believe it, that something this good is buried on Spotify, awaiting your click.

I OUGHT TO KNOW

What a great expression!

Getting into the second album first, it was always my favorite, but the cognoscenti were correct, the debut is better. This comes before “A Letter From St. Paul” and “Blue Desire” on side two, and doesn’t hook you quite immediately, but when you hear the chorus…

POSSESSED

Sounds like it, like the band was so!

This album, the debut, “A Letter From St. Paul,” sat in the CD changer in the trunk of my car for YEARS!

In a perfect world, my world, the Silencers would be known by everybody.

THE REAL MCCOY

Now back to the second, 1988’s “A Blues For Buddha.”

They don’t make music like this anymore, jaunty, that you can’t help but move your body to.

SKIN GAMES

Positively incredible. The intro is so ethereal. And then they hit the substance, the groove. It’s a trip into interstellar space equivalent to the one the Moody Blues took us on, but it sounds nothing like the work of that hit group.

“A Blues For Buddha” was produced by Flood, alas, it had even less impact than the debut.

BULLETPROOF HEART

And then the band splintered and changed, that’s what happens when you don’t get the respect and success you deserve, and what followed wasn’t as good, but…

This was a cover of Jimme O’Neill’s work with his first band, Fingerprintz, on Virgin, which had even less success than the Silencers.

“Dance To The Holy Man,” the 1991 album it’s from, is not on Spotify, so I’m utilizing the version from the Silencers’ live album “A Night Of Electric Silence.”

ONE INCH OF HEAVEN

Also in its live iteration.

I CAN FEEL IT

From the fourth album, 1993’s “Seconds Of Pleasure.”

Once again, from the live album, since the studio LP is not on Spotify, and “Seconds Of Pleasure” is spotty, but this cut is as good as the stuff from the first and second albums.

So there you have it. If you dive in and get it, know that the initial two albums have not a clunker between them.

But other than in France, the band never happened.

So Jimme O’Neill moved there.

But Elton John is not tracking him down to do duets, he’s just fading into the distance, but in my world, he and his band are SUPERSTARS!

Rhinofy-Silencers Primer

I just interviewed them, this is what I learned…

DANIEL GLASS

1. Word of the year…RELENTLESS! That’s a key to Daniel’s success, his unflagging devotion to getting it done.

2. Last year’s word…INSPIRATION! You can’t create if you’ve got no inspiration. Keith Richards told Daniel to go to Marrakesh, Daniel did, he’s traveled the world to get recharged and inspired. That’s where the great music comes from, that’s why so many of the great records were cut in unique, out of the way, locations. Whether they be Headley Grange or the Chateau. You mix it up and you get ideas. So get out of the house and experience!

3. The live show is what closes Glassnote on the act.

4. If Daniel can’t see the act being on terrestrial radio, he doesn’t sign it. He learned this lesson from Jerry Moss. There’s a treasure trove of wisdom out there if you mine it.

5. He pays out 50% to the artists on recordings. That may change, a la Martin Mills/Beggars, but Daniel believes in fair deals. If everybody’s not happy, it doesn’t work. He had one treacherous negotiation, he regrets it.

6. If you want to be on another label, do so. Glassnote is only interested in those who are only interested in them.

7. He doesn’t hire anybody from major labels, because he doesn’t want to untrain them, to hear the old war stories and how they did it where they used to work.

8. Everybody but his general manager is under thirty, you must be willing to work 7 days a week, or Glassnote is not for you.

9. You must read the Sunday “New York Times.” It’s a requirement of employment at Glassnote.

10. Terrestrial radio usually doesn’t get the new and different. Don’t try to find something that fits a slot, discover something unique and bring radio to it. That’s why the live show must be so good. So Daniel can bring radio programmers to the gig to be closed.

11. Glassnote wants the merch. They’ve got an in-house guy who does it. If the act becomes really big, they’ll make a deal with a larger company. On big acts, as much as 40% of merch is sold outside the venue, i.e. not at the gig.

12. Glassnote does not require a 360. Does not require you to sign publishing, although they do have a publishing company with six employees focused on syncs.

13. Satellite radio counts. It’s where acts get started, get their buzz.

14. Don’t be afraid of new technology/ideas. While everybody else decried Spotify, Glassnote embraced it. There’s no money in being rooted to the past, and there’s a ton of money in the future.

15. Nothing advertises your label more than successful acts. If someone’s interested in signing to Glassnote, Daniel says to talk to Phoenix or Mumford or… Treat people right. Karma…it comes back.

AMANDA PALMER

1. Was an outsider. Not one of the cool kids in either high school or college.

2. Became a living statue while on a school program in Germany. The key to success was being GOOD!

3. Was a stripper. Learned that more important than getting one dollar from fifty patrons is getting fifty dollars from one. That’s Amanda’s perspective, get hard core fans who believe.

4. Threw her own gigs to get started, in the communal house she lived in.

5. Hired an internet team after a guy at a gig told her she needed his services. Told her label they needed to hire him. The label said they would…for one month, just before the album came out. This inspired her to leave her label. The label is frequently behind the times, by interacting with friends/fans you stay informed.

6. Doesn’t repeat herself. Sold over 10k worth of t-shirts via Twitter, but that was 2009, when the service was new, that’s not replicable now.

7. Probably won’t do another Kickstarter, because of fan fatigue.

8. Has no problem asking for money, it’s all about trust. Don’t beg for money, don’t ask fans to help you survive, ask them to help you out with your project.

9. Felt misunderstood over the paying her musicians controversy. She’d been doing this forever, but now people who didn’t know her were judging her. If she had to do it all over again, she’d stick to her guns. But her goal at the time was…just make this go away. In other words, the internet agitators win too much. It takes a lot of strength to stand up to the crowd. But what people really want is someone who does this…

10. The little people are often more powerful than the big people. Amanda sold the aforementioned Twitter t-shirts because she called up her web guy at 11 PM on a Friday night in Vermont who put it up on her website…would a big company do that?

11. Lives for fan interaction, can’t stop refreshing her Twitter feed.

12. Lives to create, wants to do it all.