I’m categorically against self-checkout.

I mean I’m already doing all the work. But it’s even worse, the machines are so theft-avoidant that you’ve got to follow a specific routine, not only scanning the item, but placing it on a platform to register its weight, grocery shopping is frustrating enough already.

And every time I’m forced into using self-checkout there’s a snafu, and I have to wait for a clerk to come along to reset the machine and…

It’s my own personal protest. And as a matter of fact, many retail stores are eliminating self-checkout because of the shrinkage problem.

Which means I have to wait in line and…

I need to plan to go to Costco. It’s an adventure, not a ramble around the block. I’ve got to find a parking space, navigate the people and their carts and hope what I want is in stock and wait to check out, but…

I needed more Vitarain Zero. There’s nothing worse than running out of a staple. Like Chobani coffee yogurt.

I’ve got a formula, encompassing Chobani and a skyr not to be named, it’s hard enough to find as it is. As a matter of fact, I bought in excess of twenty when I went to Gelson’s last Saturday. But they had no Chobani, never mind blueberries. Is there another blueberry shortage? There was one a couple of years back.

So instead of driving home I went to Ralphs.

But I’ve got to ask you, how long can refrigerated items sit in your car, especially during the summer? I was contemplating this, but then I remembered Ralphs’s parking is in a covered garage, so I drove further away from home and they were overloaded with Chobani coffee, I ended up buying sixteen. And they had blueberries too!

But I won’t buy VitaminWater Zero there, it’s too much of a rip-off. Funny how I’ll spend so much money on a restaurant meal and then haggle over a few dollars, but I hate being ripped-off, it’s an insult. I’ll pay full price for what I want, but don’t f*ck me in the ass.

So I calculated my Vitarain Zero stock and my coming obligations and realized today was the day, I had to go to Costco.

Now I thought of getting gas there. Aren’t the prices dropping? But the cars were stacked six or seven deep, it wasn’t worth the wait.

But I went into the store and…

I told myself only to buy that which I needed, to not dilly-dally, but I had to look at the TVs.

They’re selling an 83″ Samsung OLED for $3999. EIGHTY THREE INCHES! And you wonder why people don’t want to go to the movie theatre.

And I found my Vitarain Zero and couldn’t resist the chopped fruit, it’s summer after all, and then, lo and behold, they had Grillo’s pickles! So I bought a bucket of them.

And then it was off to the poke. They make this sriracha ahi… And it’s very hot. In reality, I should not be eating it, I pay the price afterward, but it’s so damn good! It’s rare that you can find store bought stuff with enough heat.

And they had a salmon mango ceviche too…

And a spicy tuna ahi salad…

But how much fresh fish could I buy?

I contemplated this question and then decided on just the sriracha ahi and the salmon mango ceviche and then…

After sampling a few things that did not float my boat, I had to strategize my exit.

Like I said, I refuse to use self-checkout. If for no other reason than the other people tend to get flummoxed and not be so fast.

So…

I’ve analyzed the checkout at this store. And my plan is to go to the lane closest to the entrance. You see most people tour the store in a U, and end up on the opposite side. But I’ve had good luck going back crosstown in the store and using the far left lane.

And I’m racing a guy with liquor. Did you know you don’t need to be a member to buy liquor in a California Costco?

And when I get to the registers, each one has four people ahead of me.

Oh well…

I decide I’m going to time my exit. It’s 12:27. How long is it going to take me?

Turns out Costco has in-store wifi, so I fire that up and am just starting to peruse Instagram Reels when a woman comes up to me with a handheld scanner. What’s up? I’m way back in line.

She asks me for my membership card.

I guess they’re rooting out fraud.

But then she starts scanning all the items in my cart. What exactly is going on? Why is she doing this?

And then she walks away, to do the same in the next line over.

So I leave my basket and go over to her and ask what is going on.

She said just to show my Costco card at checkout.

Huh?

Yup, she already scanned all my items, they were in the system, and when the clerk scanned my membership card the bill would come right up and I could pay, no extra scanning necessary.

Now I was confused when the clerk scanned my card and then started checking out the items in my cart. So I asked him why he was doing this. He was counting the merchandise, to make sure there was no stealing involved.

And then I scanned my ATM card, got ahold of my cart and checked my phone.

It was 12:29!!!! I’d been checked out in two minutes!

And now I’m starting to smile, feeling so good. Like I’ll come back more often on smaller runs.

But what I really felt good about was Costco. They were doing every little thing to enhance the consumer experience.

At Ralphs, it was like the clerk was stoned. Going through the motions, seemingly wanting to be anywhere but there.

It was like she was encased in molasses while she was bagging my stuff. There was no separate bagger, that would cost too much!

But at Costco? They know me and want to keep me as a customer. They just don’t see it as a store, but a religion. I believe in Costco like I used to believe in bands, because they’re not doing it the same way as everybody else, they’re not resting on their laurels, they’re constantly innovating.

And when I get to my car…

Those flats of Vitarain Zero are heavy, so I want to get as close to my machine as possible.

However, not too close. I remember my 2002 getting a scratch in the door from an errant grocery cart, it always bugged me.

And the cart looked steady, but just when I was done loading my car, I saw it resting against the rear bumper.

Oh no… The bumper is plastic, but still…

So I leaned in close to investigate.

Turns out the Costco carts have rubber bumpers, for this express reason, so they don’t damage your automobile!

Now maybe they have these bumpers at other grocery stores, but I’ve never encountered them.

So this is where we are today. We’re enamored of brands more than people. Because they understand the relationship is everything.

Apple… You pay a fortune, but it looks good and it just works. And you have recourse if it doesn’t, you can call or go to an Apple store.

Of course there are Android fanatics, but I read in today’s “Wall Street Journal” that the iPhone has more than 60% market share in the U.S., and it’s the most expensive handset, except for a few rivals. And Apple has four of the five best selling smartphones worldwide, and over sixty percent of the profits.

We’ve got a relationship with Apple. You may not, but many do. And when we see that dreaded green bubble, we wonder why that user didn’t get the memo.

Costco doesn’t complain.

That’s what today’s entertainers are doing constantly, complaining. About not making enough money, getting ripped-off, getting dissed. But Costco is above it all, just preaching to the choir, its choir, which is not everybody, but a hell of a lot of people.

Costco is thinking about ME!

As for Apple and its prices… No one is forcing you to buy an iPhone, and none of them are cheap. Where else do we see this? With concert tickets! But in that sphere the acts won’t own the value of a ticket to their show, there’s endless finger-pointing, someone is at fault. But the bottom line is people are lining up to pay, they’re dying to go to the show and they’re willing to pay for it!

But all we’ve got is ill will.

Ain’t that America, someone is at fault, someone is holding you back, ripping you off.

But not at Costco.

Too bad he missed his crowning achievement. Which is the endless obituaries in today’s news media trumpeting him and his efforts.

This is what Clive Davis wanted. Acknowledgement and immortality. And to achieve that, he was on an endless quest of personal myth-making.

I’m not saying the guy was without talent. He could certainly pick a Top 40 hit. And he did sign all those acts coming out of the Monterey Pop Festival. But if you look closely at his career you’ll find an endless slew of evanescent acts singing meaningless songs. They might have had commercial success once upon a time, but they’ve got no legs.

Now let’s be clear, Clive Davis was the first well-known executive of the rock and roll era. Before that… It was old men in suits, possibly chomping cigars, but they were ultimately faceless to those outside the business.

And then Clive Davis got fired.

Now starting a few years before this, the nascent rock press started to mention his name. Fans wanted to know who was responsible for their music, and Columbia Records was the biggest label in the land.

With Warner/Reprise coming up close.

But Mo Ostin had a different philosophy. Sure, he started off with momentary hits, but soon transitioned to career artists, who he took a hands-off policy towards. Whereas Clive famously meddled. He thought he knew more than the acts. Despite making his bones in the album rock world, he was really a throwback to the pre-Beatle, Tin Pan Alley era.

If you’re in the know, the two greatest record executives of the modern era are Mo and Ahmet Ertegun. Although I can hear Joe Smith yelling at me from his grave. Joe was pissed that he never received enough recognition, he mentioned this every time we spoke. But Joe seems to have been forgotten to the sands of time, even though he was the one who signed the Grateful Dead and did so much more. Mo? There’s a book about him that was released to crickets, but if you weren’t alive during that era…you probably never knew who he was, never mind forgotten him. As for Ahmet? He was the true music man of the bunch. He had roots in jazz and R& B. His Atlantic Records famously screwed the original fifties acts that built the label, but he did sign and break them, he pushed the envelope when Mitch Miller was still doing A&R at CBS. Ahmet not only had an ear, he was cultured and dignified, and when Ahmet told you a story… It was frequently out of your league, concerning a legendary club owner in Paris, but he included you, he did not act as if he was above you.

Then again, the funny thing about Clive is that despite his image, those pictures you saw everywhere, he was not imposing in real life. He could have airs if you were not introduced, but he could also be intimate and friendly, yet he never stopped promoting himself, it was the opposite of Ahmet, Clive was always trying to convince you how great he was. And the somnambulant press bought it, but if you were in the business…

Now not only did Clive get fired from CBS Records, he wrote a book about his career there. 1974’s “Clive: Inside the Record Business” was very different from the man’s 2013 tome, “The Soundtrack of My Life.” The latter was a victory lap, it was unreadable hagiography. “I did this and then I did that and aren’t I great!” Well, the true greats don’t have to tell us they are. That’s one thing that you realize when you reach the top echelon of any business, including the music business. Those at the top have nothing to prove, they do not brag, they’re oftentimes more friendly than those who work beneath them. If you can gain access, you’ll be wowed.

But not Clive. And Clive did not play well with others. The music business is a club, a veritable high school, everybody knows everybody and your reputation is king. There’s constant fraternizing, relationships are everything, but Clive was an outsider. His relationships were external, primarily with the press, and he had crack promotion men like Donnie Ienner and Richard Palmese to deal with radio. But really, Clive existed in his own backwater. He’d come up in conversation, but people in the business believed he lived in his own purgatory. Everybody else had drunk the kool-aid, music was the hottest medium, driving the culture… Clive was all about commercialization. It had to sell and it had to sell soon. And if it didn’t sell, he would make you change it going forward, or wouldn’t let you make any more records at all. Clive was the least artist friendly executive in the business. Once word got out, career artists refused to sign with him. He was known for interfering with the artistic process and killing careers, as he did with Hall & Oates. But before that…

Clive got back into the business with Columbia Pictures’ Bell Records, transforming it into Arista, and one of his first releases was that of legendary downtown poet, Patti Smith. This was credibility on steroids. This is what we expected after the book.

But it didn’t stay this way for long.

Let’s see… Arista’s greatest hits… As the seventies wore on, Clive kept a foot in rock, with the Outlaws and the Alan Parsons Project, but filled the company’s coffers with the work of Barry Manilow.

But the rock focus quickly faded. Rock was a slog. It required FM airplay and the building of a fan base on the road and you never knew if, never mind when, you would reach critical mass. Whereas if you started with the hit…

In the seventies all the action was on FM radio, where the career artists lived. But by the turn of the decade, Clive decided to focus on the derided AM dial, where catchy, mindless ditties and drivel dominated. It was easy pickings for Clive. And then he succeeded with Air Supply and Tayor Dayne and he even branched into soft jazz with Kenny G. Let’s be clear, there was a ton of money generated by these acts, but they were derided in their day and if they’re remembered at all, they’re still laughed at.

But then something funny happened. The market changed in Clive’s favor. MTV came on the scene and suddenly it was Top 40 on steroids. Sure, at first it was about the old rock acts crossing over. But soon it became about ditties that would play around the world. Just what Clive specialized in. This wasn’t the slow growth of Warner/Reprise, this was throw it against the wall and make sure it sticks. Massage the music and the image, trumpet it to the press, make a slick video and…

The apotheosis was Whitney Houston, who was everything traditional rockers stood against. She didn’t write the songs, which sounded unlike the stuff on FM, the only rock and roll thing she ended up doing was marrying Bobby Brown and taking drugs.

But it was the eighties. Sunny and hedonistic, image became more important than soul, and Clive’s acts were perfect for the era.

Ultimately we got Milli Vanilli, who weren’t even an act to begin with. Talk about a lack of credibility…

And Ace of Base wasn’t much better.

Yes, Clive did bring Santana back with duets… But “Supernatural”  goes mostly unplayed these days, whereas the initial Santana work on Columbia is legendary, a north star in its fusion of rock and Latin rhythms. Clive could make you commercial, make you some money, but in most cases he was unable to build your career, never mind embellish it.

Yes, he had a disposable hit with the Dead’s “Touch of Grey,” but people forget that the Grateful Dead signed with Arista back in the mid-seventies, just after the label was formed, after their disastrous experience with their own record company. Would the Dead have signed with Arista in the eighties? I wouldn’t think so. But Clive did deliver a hit, with a video to boot, but did it make new hard core Dead fans? I doubt it.

Got to give Clive credit for going into business with Puffy’s Bad Boy Records… Then again, even at that early date Puffy had a checkered legal past.

And then there was the pushing aside of Clive at Arista for L.A. Reid and the establishment of J and then the reunification of the two labels, but the dirty little secret was…

Clive was a bad businessman. As in when it came to the bottom line… A lot was spent and not a lot was left.

Now eventually Clive aged and ran out of gas and focused upon his Grammy party. He was really into it, laboring over the seating chart, and if you were up close and personal, on the inside, it was almost sad. Clive was hanging on by a thread, he needed this party to show that he still mattered.

So why am I bothering to piss on Clive Davis, especially upon his death?

BECAUSE HE WAS THE ANTITHESIS OF EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT THE MUSIC AND THIS BUSINESS!

The Beatles broke and then it was about albums, statements, our acts were gurus who we followed more than politicians, movie stars, ANYBODY! And then Clive is purveying this meaningless commercial crap, contributing to the downfall of the edifice that threw off so much money that Warner/Reprise paid for the Warner cable system. More money was made from records than movies. Which is why conglomerates picked up all these companies.

And let’s be clear, the executives were well paid. But other than Clive, no one mistook themselves for the artist. It was clear who created the music, who was in control, but not with Clive, he thought he was the act, that he knew better!

And now we have songs written by committee fronted by airheads with no backbone who will do anything to make a dollar, who are categorically unable to say no.

But are any of Clive’s acts playing the Sphere?

Well, Dead & Company if you want to stretch it, but my point is do Arista acts have such rabid fan bases that they can sell out arenas at multi-hundred dollar ticket prices?

NO!

There’s really no there there. When back in the so-called day, EVERYTHING WAS THERE! These acts were our lifeblood. They made so much money that they could blow it destroying hotel rooms and carry on, knowing there was much more where that came from. They lived outside the system, they commented on the system, they were beacons imploring their audiences to think, to question authority. Clive’s acts? They were like the Scarecrow in “The Wizard of Oz.”

Clive is not much different from Sumner Redstone, who convinced himself he would not die. But he did. And then Viacom went into the toilet and his name has been scrubbed from the public consciousness, if not history. As for Clive… It’s double zeros. Not only will he not be remembered by future generations, the acts he signed and promoted won’t be either. There’s no legacy!

But this guy snookered the press into believing his hype.

The best artists let their music speak for themselves.

And the best executives let their artists speak for them.

But Clive Davis was all about speaking endlessly for himself, tooting his own horn.

You won’t read the above in the hosannas in the obituaries, but those on the inside know. And those on the outside too, because the acts Clive promoted were ultimately hollow. The exec should sign and promote, they should not meddle in the music itself.

And other than Jimmy Iovine, nobody has self-promoted like Clive since. Doug Morris got a lot of publicity, became too big for his britches, was fired by Bob Morgado and became press shy thereafter, while building the world’s biggest recorded music company, Universal Music. And Lucian Grainge has only grown the company, engineering the Capitol merger, and as a result of his perch and his power he’s in the news, but we don’t see endless puff pieces, Lucian is not on an endless press tour promoting himself.

This business is not what it was. There have been a lot of changes, first FM radio, then MTV and the CD and then the internet. It’s so far from the garden it’s disillusioning. And the first thing wannabes want to talk about is money. And everybody’s bitching they’re not more successful.

What they want is Clive Davis to put them up front and center, to promote them to the world.

But are they worth it?

In most cases not. Never mind that today labels seem unable to break an act.

The story of today is the Balkanization of music, and live… You don’t see Michael Rapino touting himself, and he’s even more powerful than Lucian, he’s promoting multiple genres, he’s the one who is paying the acts.

There was not enough love in the world for Clive Davis. The boy from Brooklyn was always trying to convince us he was worthy. Only someone extremely insecure would need to promote himself to this degree.

Clive signed some good acts, especially in his CBS days. He knew what was a hit, and he could promote a worthy record to success.

But he was not the only one who could do this.

And when it comes to lasting records, others did it so much better.

In the long run, Clive Davis does not matter. But a bunch of the acts still do. And almost all of them were not on Arista.

I’m amazed but not surprised to see you talking about Grillos pickles! I met Travis Grillo back in 2008 when he first started selling pickle spears (two spears for $1) in downtown Boston. Working first from his car, and then setting up a pickle cart, he used his family’s recipe that was simply amazing. I worked for a company that did printing and we printed some of his earliest labels. Great Guy. I cheered every time his pickles were picked up by a new grocery store chain and I was surprised the first time I found his west of the Mississippi. He’s worked long and hard and it is nice to see his achieve the rewards and recognition he’s earned!!
—
Keith Spiro

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Howdy, Bob!

Grillos Pickles are the best I’ve been able to buy in a regular store.

They’ve had them here at the Publix in Nashville for a good while and I’ve been lucky to be able to have them for the last few years.

Their “Italian version” are even worth eating (!)

Admittedly, the stock level is sporadic, and they are in chip form for the most part, but every once in a while, I can get the spears (I grew up in Chicago, so a pickle spear with a sandwich, pretty much any sandwich, felt like law, and I obeyed!), which really makes me happy.

Anyway, I’ve been a “Grillos evangelist” for a good long while and consider their offerings top-flight; I’m glad you’ve found them and get to enjoy them as well!

Cheers!

King Williams

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Grillos has a marketing arrangement with the Boston Bruins. They’ll display their fun logo on the boards and on the ice in the neutral zone.  They also sponsor a segment of the Bruins pre-game show, called “Cool as a Cucumber”.  Griilos also sells a hockey jersey…

Grillo's Hockey Jersey

Delicious pickles…the best.  And easy to come by here in the Boston area.  Most grocery stories sell them.

Jeff Hansen

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Happy you discovered them! They really are the best! Found them a few years ago at BeachLife Festival in Redondo where they had an activation complete with a dude in a pickle mascot outfit waving people over. Figured it was a little cheesy, but it worked! My wife insisted on going over and taking a picture with him and I tasted the pickles and was blown away by the flavor! Costco out in Westlake seems to always have them, by the way.

Danny Cooper

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My fave pickles are from Katz’ in NYC. I have yet to find anything similar in Toronto 🙁

Karen Bliss

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Good choice Bob. Been buying Grillo’s Pickles by the bucketful @ Costco for quite some time. Actually was running low on my last bucket, and have a new one ready to open in the fridge when those are done. Best store bought pickles I’ve ever had. Even the Goyim are hip to Grillo’s.

-Rick Marino

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I’m a sucker for packaging. They have great merch. I got turned on to them here in Chicago while watching a baseball game on TV. They had the advertising behind home plate. A pickle in a lawn chair wearing flip flops, I had to try them. They are now they are my go-to store bought pickle. Kudos to whoever handles the marketing aesthetic.

Jason Cienkus
Chicago Suburbs

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I love Grillo’s! My whole extended family was raised devouring mass quantities of pickles. My current favorite though is a Philly local, Dietz & Watson. Amazing stuff

Gary Ferenchak

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Those pickles are the best!! We’ve been buying them for a few years now.  It’s one of the few teams I don’t get annoyed at regarding price at the grocery store. The first time my wife bought them and I saw they were like $9 for the small container I got so mad but then I tried them and was hooked. They’re usually stocked in the local Stop ‘n Shop here on Long Island but it’s weird – there are times when you just can’t find them for a few weeks and we have to settle for the jarred crap haha. Great find!

Rob DiFondi

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I love when you write this kinda sh*t. Amazing how many words you wrote about grillos. That being said they are incredible. You can a big pail at Costco. We get em all the time.

Stevie Rees / Arbo

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Bob –

Grillo’s also makes a great pickle based “Salsa”.  It’s a great condiment to keep on hand!

-Steve Duchardt

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Truly the best commercially available dill pickle spear available to purchase today.

Will never match the long gone and lamented Clairmont Diner (Verona,NJ) complimentary assorted pickle bowl ( with pickled tomatoes) sitting on every table as you sat down or the one of kind Clairmont Salad (Kind of vinegar based Cole Slaw with a hint of sweetness) that all whoever tasted still pines for.  Ask Jon Scher.

Bert Holman

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I can’t believe you love these too. We’re obsessed with Grillos pickles. Respect.

Mindi Abair

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And if you’re lucky they occasionally have the Grillo’s Half Sours…so damn good!

Aloha
Steve London

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They are unmatched. 100!

Pink Needs

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My wife is addicted to them. There is never a time when they are not in our fridge. I dig em but she’s on another planet.

Dan Millen

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Hey Bob,

One LA pickle lover to another…you gotta try The Crazy Cucumber. Artisan pickle monger often shows up at the Malibu Farmer’s Market, Sundays 10am-3pm I believe. Also at others. Great quality, tons of interesting varieties…and sauerkraut that’s fantastic. Cool guy who loves talking about his products. Worth the journey up PCH.

Best,

Larry Laffer

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Half Sour? Can’t find them in Cadillac, MI to save my life!!

Paul Bizzigotti

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Okay, I’ll reluctantly try Grillo’s. A friend mentioned they’re great too. But I’m camp Bubbies which is essentially the pickle I grew up eating in Canada formerly known as Strub’s pickles.

Best,
Ellie Shapiro

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bob you gotta check out grillo’s instagram. they have some of the best marketing going right now.

also their pickle salsa is awesome

Tom Gilbert

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You have to try the grillo pickle de gallo. Put it on a bratwurst or anything else for that matter.

Ryan Nagle
CAA | Touring

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Keep an eye out for their ‘Pickle de Gallo’

It’s special

-jl

Best regards,

Jonathan Lerner

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Grillo’s Pickles are awesome, and readily available here on the East Coast. I really like all the dill, or whatever that vegetation is that comes with them. But the containers need serious improvement; they’re guaranteed to spill pickle juice all over the place and need to be opened in the sink.

Rich Madow

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I am a huge pickle fan and have two buckets of Grillo pickles in my refrigerator in Kerrville, Texas. The best…

Steven McClintock
37 Records

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Back in the late 70’s, my folks bought a bungalow colony in White Lake, NY, about two miles down the road from what was still Yasgur’s farm.  It was the waning days of the Borscht Belt Catskills and gambling was rumored to be imminent, after Atlantic City had approved it recently. They got a great deal on the place, 90 acres, 60 cottages rented by NYC Jewish families for the summer. They thought it would be fun, and they’d flip it within five years. Of course gambling didn’t happen for another 30 years.

I met a girl from Brooklyn there. Her parents were teachers, and in the summer they were hustlers. All sorts of side businesses, primarily running flea market booths at the Kiamesha Lanes bowling alley parking lot on Sundays. They had a pickles and dried fruits and nuts stand, and I manned the both with my girlfriend in the summer of ’80. We had barrels of pickles made by Shimmy the Pickle King. Grillo is probably a more palatable pickle-maker for the gentiles than Shimmy, but they were great pickles.

I still prefer them as sour and garlicky as possible, not a fan of dills and half-sours.

Every whole pickle I’ll ever bite into will bring me back to the 18-year-old kid spending his last summer before college slinging pickles to the summering Jews of Sullivan County.

Dave Arbiter
Margaritaville
Daytona Beach, FL

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If you are also a fan of half sours, do yourself a favor and try Ba-Tampte…look for a glass jar found in the refrigerated section.  (How these weren’t included in the Wirecutter review is beyond me!)

I first encountered these in college at Drexel in Philly, while working as a waiter at Ted’s Montana Grill.  We would drop them on the table while customers looked over the menu…the restaurant may have lost money on the days I worked a double!

In PA, I’m usually able to find them with relative ease at our local Wegmans or Acme.  However, periodically they are out of stock for whatever reason, which can really throw a wrench in your lunch sandwich plans!

These are hands down my favorite pickles, you just have to make sure they are bright green in the jar, occasionally they will look a darker green and/or yellow, with cloudier brine, which means they won’t taste right and are on the mushier side, sometimes due to the lid losing its seal.

Enjoy!

Jon-Michael Marino

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Glad you found the pickles Bob. I live in SW France now and you can’t find dill pickles anywhere here only cornichons which the French eat with pate, etc. They are more like bread and butter pickles than dill. When I lived in Ireland I could get very good dills at the Polish stores which were everywhere because of the large population of Polish immigrants. Your email brought back a few memories also. I used to live in Grand Junction in western Colorado and shopped at City Market!! Hadn’t thought about them for a long time. Also, took a look at the Wirecutter link and the dill pickles that I bought in the states were also recommended…. Bubbies. I loved those and might be worth trying if you can’t find Grillos. Enjoy your posts and a lot of times makes me glad to be living outside the US! All the best Bob

Tom Ryall

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Hey Bob. Pickles are definitely having a moment right now. The kids would say we are Picklemaxxing. But I’m a big fan of Grillo‘s, as well. You should try to get your hands on some Grillo‘s Pickled Grapes. I know it sounds weird – but they are absolutely delicious— the perfect combo of sweet and sour. Meanwhile – I happen to think the best pickles in Los Angeles are from Kaylin & Kaylin at the Original Farmers Market at 3rd & Fairfax.

Trey Callaway

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Less than two weeks ago my wife was in Whole Foods looking for my regular brand of dills.  They were out so she picked up a jar of Grillo’s, which she had read about in one of her many cooking magazines.    WOW!  I’m never going back to Vlasek. Fermented foods are among the most ancient, so somebody knows something.  Thanks!

dennis brent

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Have you tried Batempte Half Sours in Refrigerator section of Gelsons?
They’re my favorite.
Unfortunately, nothing resembling 5 cent ones from the barrel of Sol’s Deli on 20th street and 1st Avenue…

Bob Goodman

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I live in Iowa and get Grillos at Hy-Vee.  They are grossly under appreciated here.  Seeing Grillos and Paquito Mas referenced in the same email is the ultimate PSA!  Thank you for your service!!!

David Bernstein

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Bob- I love you so I take great regret in bursting your bubble. Grillo’s pickles aren’t fermented. It says so on their own website under the FAQ:

Do Grillo’s pickles need to be refrigerated?

Since Grillo’s products are a completely fresh pickle made without chemicals or preservatives, they are not fermented. This means they need to be kept at refrigerated temperatures to ensure both quality and freshness are maintained.

You found the clue about needing refrigeration, you just didn’t put it together. There are 2 ways to make pickles, one using vinegar (which is what Grillo’s does) and one using fermentation with a brand like Bubbies. (Not recommending them, they were just Wirecutter’s pick further down the page for a “Tart & Juicy” option)

You can tell if a pickle is fermented because it will be a cloudy jar and it won’t have vinegar in its ingredients. I learned all this from a trip to the Pickle Guys on Grand Street on the Lower East Side, which you should definitely visit the next time you are in New York because they have dozens of jars of fermenting foods.

I don’t have an affiliation with any of the above brands, but I do have access to grocery sales data as a food exec and can tell you the yogurt category has been absolutely exploding (up 18% Year over Year, which is insane growth for a mature category) because of consumer interest in high probiotics (fermentation’s main benefit) coupled with protein. Real yogurt like Nancy’s or Stonyfield (skip Dannon & Yoplait) have decent probiotic counts in the low billions. If you want high probiotics in the tens of billions (the main reward of fermented foods) go for Kefir. (which is drinkable) For a new breed of super-high probiotic spoonable options in the hundreds of billions like Coconut Cult or Kefirkult, head to Whole Foods. (Both use coconut milk, which is high in saturated fat, so it’s not for everyone)

Skip the sugary flavors if you can, go for the original varieties and add your own fruit.

Best of luck!

Greg Lorenzo

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I’m taking a $10 risk on your taste (amazon fresh delivery). It’s impossible to find good pickles in the OC. We are losing another Gelson’s and they were the only ones left selling B’Tempte. (sp?). Luckily, father’s day means a trip to LA and Brents. Their new pickles are to die for but the half sour haven’t been the same since the pandemic. If you’re right, I owe you.

Bruce Greenberg

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So Grillos ran a hugely successful marketing campaign last year on Instagram and it blew up. Almost all zoomers love Grillos.

Now they have a whole new line of Grillos beets and onions and carrots and grapes.

It literally became the brand seemingly overnight with youth.

Johnny Lloyd Rollins

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Hi Bob — I have a tip.

I order full sour pickles from Katz’s in New York.  If the order is more than $100 shipping is free (it was last time I ordered).

The full sour are the best.  Puts all others to shame.

Jim Charne

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I love Grillo’s.  They are the best. (And I get mine at Ralph’s; they always have them). But…

…. they’re not fermented.

Matthew Mars

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Grillo’s are not fermented so you are not maximizing the nutritional value. Bubbie’s are fermented and widely available in different varieties.

Geoffrey Cushing-Murray

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Grillo’s is delicious, but they are not technically fermented. They are just ‘pickled’.

Fermented pickles have active cultures… like the brand Bubbies – or more famously The Pickle Guys (the successor of “Guss’ Pickles” from Crossing Delancey) on Essex & Grand in NYC. They sell a handful of fermented pickles (and some are simply pickled), but all are delicious.

Michael Closter

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I’m generally a Bubbie’s guy, both the whole dill pickles and their sweet & sour chips.  I will check out Grillo’s.  When I was a kid, there was nothing better than a pickle barrel in the store where you fished out your own pickle – Zabar’s of course, but also there was a shop in Rockport on one main drag.  Paired with a tuna sandwich on rye, nothing better.

Toby Mamis

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Grillo’s is good! Bubbies is the best!!

Burt Stein

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Bubbie’s kosher dills or Bubbie’s spicy kosher dills. The only choice!!!

Rhonda Bedikan

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This is my area of expertise, including going to Gus’s back in the day (the inspiration for Crossing Del).

 

This is the closest you can get from a store (online too).

 

IPO and Peace are the best.

 

https://brittsfermentedfoods.com/collections/all

Dave Pell

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I LOVE your quest for the perfect pickle. I have been there and done that. I would go to Disneyland, which is not my favorite place in the whole wide world, just to go to Main Street to buy a couple of pickles from the huge jar. If people are going to Disneyland, they ask if I want a pair of Mickey’s ears. Hell no.

Could you please pick up several pickles on Main Street? Here’s my dealbreaker. They have to be old/classic pickles, NOT the raw cucumber style. Who was the Impatient person that couldn’t wait? You have to learn to pace your pickles. I keep the empty jars with the brine. If you get into a pickle and run out, you should always buy some picking cucumbers, cut them into spears, and make your own. PLUS pickle juice takes the pain away from a sore throat. It’s a staple in my refrigerator. I can only imagine your panic when you ran out. Are they classic/old/patient/ or new cucumbers?

Now I crave deli food, but it’s too late in the evening. I’ll go make some Matzo Brei. My go-to when I am too tired to cook! Tossed or pancake style? Eaten with sugar or salt?

Maldon Flakes for me. Perhaps with a side of pickle.

Jill Harris

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Ralph’s impulse purchase day before yesterday…perfect on a Hebrew National;  and then I read WSJ fermented article!

We on the same page Bob.

Tony Yoken
Los Angeles/Memphis

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ok just went to amazon and saw ’em…
one jar is in my cart!

Hong Son

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Drink the brine. Trust me. I’m Polish.

Better hydration than Gatorade as it has the salt you actually need.

Grillo’s half sour are my go to as a thoroughbred Pole. Whole Foods always has them.

Pickles for the win,

Lee Guzofski

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1,436 words about pickles and I read ever single one. And my mouth is also watering. Grillo’s pickles are amazing.

I love this. Thanks for sharing.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually shot off a reply to you, but I’ve started writing many. I get a few paragraphs in, feel better about whatever riled me up, and said “eh, nobody gives a sh*t about what I think. Delete.” But here I am actually hitting send about pickles. Thanks for your newsletter. You’re a bright light.

Stephanie O’Donnell
Former country record rep, now a realtor. Ha.

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Hey Bob.

Got a kick out of your Pickle Piece.

I know that you’re a Wirecutter fan (as am I), so you may have seen this article.

Our next door neighbor is a NYT food writer and she wrote this piece on Sardines.

I used to eat a lot of Sardines with my Dad and brother back in the 60s!  We’d eat ‘em with saltine crackers and mustard while watching football games.  An acquired taste, no doubt!

Anyway, I mentioned this to Kathy (that’s her byline below) after I’d read her article.  So she left a tin of one of the top ranking Sardines at our door.

It was the brand called Donostina.  Lord have mercy.  These things were amazing!!!  Only 4 in the can…like fillets.

I haven’t seen them around here in NYC, but if I do, I’ll snag more for sure.

For some reason, you strike me as somebody who might like Sardines.  If so, keep your eyes peeled when you’re cruising the high end stores out there (cruising high end grocery stores, btw, is something I LOVE to do).

Killer!

Hugh Surratt

https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-sardines/

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From: Tom Russo

Hey Bob. Grillo’s was just featured in the Costco Connection this month.:

SUPPLIER SPOTLIGHT

Fresh favorite

How Grillo’s Pickles grew from a Boston food cart to a briny behemoth 

by GEOFF NUDELMAN

Grillo’s Pickles CEO and Costco member Adam Kaufman is quick to point out that the pickle brand doesn’t take itself too seriously, even as it has experienced serious growth over the last decade. 

“We had a groundswell of support from when we started with a cart in Boston Common,” says Kaufman, who has been with the company since 2018. “The aspirational side of our brand is neat. We’re a different pickle.”

The Grillo’s products available today are made with the same recipe co-founder Travis Grillo adapted from his grandfather’s pickles and began selling out of his car in 2008. The pickles were a hit and he moved to a wooden pickle cart in 2009. 

The brand had customers buzzing. “There was pickle merch for sale, friends skateboarding around and the occasional pickle suit appearance while hustling pickles on the street,” says Grillo’s co-founder and vice president of brand Eddie Andre. “(This all) created an energetic brand that was more than just a pickle out of a cart.” 

Later, two employees of a large national grocer came down to the cart and tried the pickles for themselves, which led to a larger audience. “After a few years of dedicated hustle, we were accepted in several of the store’s regions, and nationally by 2016,” says Andre. 

According to Andre, part of that growth has come from how Grillo’s has maintained its roots in punk rock and skate culture, even as it arrived as a national brand.

The company does a pop-up each year in New York City where it sells limited-edition items, such as pickled grapes, and maintains an irreverent and quirky social media presence that’s as much a pickle 

fan account as it is brand promotion.

“I feel lucky to be around the brand,” Kaufman says. “Over the last three years, the whole pickle market has just exploded.” 

Home

All it took was a push from my nutritionist. (Of course I have a nutritionist, I live in California! No, seriously, I go to the nutritionist because I have insanely high cholesterol when untreated. But now with a combination of Crestor and Zetia Boston Heart tells me my numbers are very low, in the green, if you know Boston Heart…) Susan said, almost as an aside, to eat some fermented foods, she recommended pickles and sauerkraut…

And that was all I needed to hear. There are no illegal foods in Susan’s world, but really, you should shy away from carbs and since I’m insulin resistant… (I know that’s popular jargon, but if you feel a bit sleepy and out of it after eating pasta, you might be insulin resistant too…like cholesterol, it’s got a genetic component.) So when Susan recommends a food I actually like…

Not that I’d been eating pickles on a regular basis. Maybe when I went to the deli. But I’ve been trying to avoid that, since it comes with pastrami and other foods that should not be eaten on a regular basis.

Now growing up, I ate a ton of pickles. There were two giant jars in the garage. Homemade things, the kind of stuff kids today would never touch. But growing up in the dark ages… One jar had green tomato pickles, the other sour dills.

You rarely see green tomato pickles anymore, because of their bite. You chomp down on them like an apple, and you get the crunch of the veins and the oozing of the fluid and a sour sensation all at the same time. Let’s just say they wake you up.

And back in the fifties, even the sixties, most people were eating bland food. But not Jews! My father was an epicurean. A veritable gourmet. He’d take us for Italian ice on Sundays and late at night he’d stop at Zwerdling’s bakery to buy rolls hot off the press… There’s nothing like truly fresh bread.

And my dad bought the above pickles, along with lox and whitefish and sable and bagels, at Max’s delicatessen. (One of their specialties was chive cheese, unlike the kind you see today, as in there were almost as many chives as cheese!)

Now somewhere in the sixties Max handed the reins to Sam, and it was now called Sam’s, but Sam had worked there all the while and the store was still the same. You don’t get the same experience today, it’s kind of like the long lamented hardware store where the proprietor knew your name… My father was beyond a regular, he’d run around the store sampling things…

So I was taught the only good pickles, the only ones worth eating, were the outliers that were handmade and proffered at places like Max’s/Sam’s. Especially back then, pickles were bland.

Now pickles did have a moment back in the eighties, with the movie “Crossing Delancey,” when that was Peter Riegert’s business and the issue was whether it was too déclassé a job for Amy Irving…and whatever happened to her? But they’ve never been hip. But the ones you get in the store are much better.

So after that session with the nutritionist I was combing the aisles at Costco, something I love to do, kind of like exploring the offerings on the Netflix homepage, and in the refrigerated section I found this big plastic bucket of pickles.

I debated whether to buy it. The problem with Costco is the deals are so good that you’re overcome with temptation and find yourself at home with more than you could ever consume, unless you have a family, and I do not.

But pickles? Don’t they last a long time? 

So I put the bucket in my cart.

Now opening this bucket of pickles was not simple. It looks like you have to rip off a plastic band, but really you only have to break this one tab to open the bucket up.

But then…

You’re confronted with the fact that the bucket is packed full. It’s impossible to open it without getting pickle juice over everything. Which is an incentive to eat a bunch of pickles, because then the volume goes down and the pickle juice level descends…

And I was stunned how good these pickles were. Not exactly like the ones at Max’s/Sam’s, but these were store bought, made for mass consumption.

Those pickles were Grillo’s.

Not that I thought much of it. I mean you can buy great stuff at Costco, but I wouldn’t think it would purvey the paragon of pickles. The absolute zenith.

But I did expect such at Gelson’s, the local high end market. Which offered Mt. Olive.

Nowhere close.

So I went back to Costco… And they haven’t had them since!

But a couple of months back, driving my cart down the aisle at City Market in Vail, I saw them. Of course in a smaller container, but they were Grillo’s.

I didn’t buy them that day, I’m trying to remember why, maybe I was in somewhat of a rush, but the next time I went back to City Market…

I couldn’t find them.

And the problem is I only like to do things when everybody else does not. Meaning I’ll go for my tostada at Poquito Mas at three in the afternoon, when I can get a parking spot and sit in the booth without feeling guilty about taking up space.

And I shop late in the evening, as Paul Simon would do. Midnight is a good time for me, however City Market in Vail is only open until ten.

Now the problem with City Market in Vail is after about six, the meat slicer at the deli counter disappears. And they have Boar’s Head meats, which are the best of the over the counter, no Oscar Mayer for me, so I try to shop a bit earlier, but I got engaged in a long conversation with Charley, who was lending me his car for this grocery sojourn, and I missed the window.

And, since it was later in the day, very few people were working there. Would there really be someone who knew where the Grillo’s pickles were?

Now I must admit I spent way too much time looking before I asked. My father constantly implored us to ask, he was uninhibited, maybe that’s why I’m shy, but finally I found someone who looked like he knew what was going on and he led me to the Grillo’s pickles.

And that’s when it all became clear, unlike seemingly every other pickle brand they’re refrigerated! Why, I can’t tell you, since pickles are often brined in open-air casks, even by the railroad tracks.

And when I got back to the condo, VOILA!

But back in L.A., I’ve run out of luck, I can’t find Grillo’s pickles seemingly anywhere.

And then the other day on a quick run to Whole Foods, waiting for my sliced roast beef (it’s the best there, it’s salt-cured), I was looking over my shoulder and I saw them, Grillo’s pickles!

Now ultimately I realized there was a tiny little red dot on the bucket, saying they were “Hot,” but I can handle it. Actually, I ate a bunch before I even noticed the labeling.

And then, just the other day, I saw a link for the Wirecuttter, hyping the fact that they rated store bought pickles.

So I clicked on over, looking for what was the best, I’m all about the best when it comes to food and other low-priced items, and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I was rooting for Grillo’s, but what were the odds?

And then…

GRILLO’S WAS NUMBER ONE!

https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-pickles/

So what I’m doing here is hipping you to Grillo’s. If you ever get a hankering for a pickle, if you like something with a bit of bite, that is not bland, they fit the bill perfectly.

This has been a public service announcement.

P.S. Only when I began writing this did my brain connect pickles to a story I read in yesterday’s “Wall Street Journal,” about the people in Trump’s cabinet on fermented food diets. I guess my nutritionist was ahead of the game.

“Everyone in Trump’s Cabinet Is Eating Sauerkraut – JD Vance, RFK Jr. and other officials swear by a diet of grass-fed meat and fermented foods, even when the sulfurous odors cause friction at home”

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/fitness/trump-vance-lutnick-rfk-sauerkraut-diet-2f33bdf1

https://apple.news/A85-8CdS6Sm6MJ8jPvbyt0A