“Free Music, at Least While It Lasts”

I’m sick of hearing the sky is falling. That the march to the future is leaving something valuable in its wake, something we will lament the passing of, as if the Internet has wiped out antibiotics and eyeglasses.

I don’t hear anybody talking about the printers, the people whose business was wiped out by desktop publishing. And now, HP itself is in trouble, its cash cow printer business has stalled. Bitch all you want about overpriced cartridges, the truth is almost no one prints anymore. When last did you? Are you lamenting the loss of those jobs at the plant in Idaho? As for paper companies, they’ve gone upscale, they’re making high end paper for personal notes, there was a whole story in the “Wall Street Journal”… But when it comes to music and books there’s this fiction that the art forms will be wiped out, that something will be lost that can never be replaced in this new world.

Boofuckinghoo. So you made a ton of money writing songs in the last century. Talk to lawyers, whose business has now been farmed out to Asia, yup, that’s where they do the big time legal research. As for corporations paying endless bills…no longer, they cap fees. And not only are applications down at law schools, the vaunted Thunderbird MBA program is in danger of going under.

So forget saving the whales, how about saving everybody’s gig.

Funny about America, everybody hates socialism until it comes to their job. They like free enterprise when they’re winning, a safety net when they’re not, kinda like the banks, HA!

So we’ve got Van Dyke Parks lamenting in the “Daily Beast” that songwriting no longer pays. Well it didn’t pay so much two hundred years ago. It may pay again in the future, maybe not. It’s not like there’s no way left to make bank in the music business. Everybody just bitches that someone moved their cheese.

This is the way it used to be… We listened to the radio. We bought very few albums, because we couldn’t afford many. And we ended up knowing the songs by heart. So we went to hear our favorites live. And their live compensation paled in comparison to their recording income.

And now it’s reversed, you’ve got to take out a mortgage to go to the show. But has this reduced ticket sales? NO! People keep complaining they can’t get GOOD tickets! And demand is so great that StubHub build a business on reselling tickets, at greater than face price!

But Napster was supposed to kill music. Eliminate the economic incentive and no one will make it anymore. Well, the oldsters have given up, in most cases anyway, but the youngsters didn’t get the memo. They keep uploading to YouTube and iTunes and Spotify, and I haven’t heard ANYBODY lament that there’s not enough music. As for good music, people go where the cash is, and that’s pop. As for you album rock fans… Show me an album that should be heard by millions that has languished in the marketplace and I’ll show you a liar, you, who are completely full of shit.

Kind of like that canard that today’s youngsters have a short attention span. No, they’ve just got an incredible shit detector! They don’t want to sit through mediocre, they don’t even want to sit through good, they just want GREAT! Which is why music is now all about blockbusters… Believe you me Van Dyke Parks, write a hit and you’ll be rolling in dough. Ringo not only hasn’t had a hit in eons, most of his were written by somebody else. You used to make all that money because people had to buy the album to hear the one they wanted. So you lost your house and your swimming pool you said a cowrite with Ringo garner you, but the fans have been liberated! In other words, they don’t want your crap, your dross, your fluff. And this is a good thing for everybody but YOU!

It’s a brand new world. Things change. But there’s still a demand for art. Which might be delivered differently, with different income streams. And all this bitching… I never get forwarded David Carr or Van Dyke Parks’s articles by the hoi polloi, the regular people for those Greek-challenged, just the old, established acts and the wannabes. It’s an endless echo chamber. The public and the outliers invent the future while the oldster/Luddites can’t get over the past.

The past… When a spellchecker was an add-on you paid for, before it was integrated into Microsoft Word. Keep talking about that free economy David Carr, it’s been going on forever. That’s progress, more stuff for a cheaper price, welcome to the real world.

As for Google giving you so much stuff for free. IT’S NOT FREE! You’re paying by clicking on the ads, that’s why Google EXISTS!

But these artists live by their emotions, they can’t understand economic forces. And, once again, everybody wants to win and not suffer. Van Dyke Parks… Do you want to pay 3k for your flat screen? That’s what it might cost if manufactured in America. How about a couple of grand for your iPhone? No, everybody wants to reap, but no one wants to sow.

People go where the money is. Is that revolutionary?

So people have become tech developers.

But tech is more interesting than music. Yup, there I said it. Bring us a new Beatles, a new Bob Dylan, and we’ll all pay attention.

Instead we had to listen for years about how great the positively mediocre Conor Oberst was. And everybody knows “Yellow Submarine,” but most people don’t know any Beyonce songs and play them once and they never need to hear it again. And then we’ve got the savant known as Pharrell, who keeps turning out hit after hit, “Happy” the latest iteration that was so successful, people got into trouble for doing a tribute video in the Middle East. I don’t hear Pharrell bitching, like Van Dyke Parks, that he can’t make a buck. As for Van Dyke, have him play glockenspiel on Ringo’s All Starr Band tour. Hell, the guarantee is pretty high!

So what we’ve got here is intelligence inequality. People who didn’t go to college, who don’t know much about economics, never mind money, who can’t stop complaining that they woke up and the world looked different.

But have people stopped eating, stopped going to the bathroom, stopped having sex?

No, the truth is more people are listening to more music than ever before. The fact that they may not be listening to yours, that you can’t make enough money…did you ever think it was YOUR fault? That you refused to change, get with the new paradigm? It’s like Count Basie bitching they don’t play his music on Top Forty.

We don’t live in a free economy. We live in a changing economy. And the winners in music are incredibly profitable, they’re paid like sports stars or CEOs.

So if you look at your bank account and see a big fat zero, the problem isn’t the Internet or free, it’s YOU!

Get over yourself.

Enter the twenty first century.

Just because you could make it in the old one playing music, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to in the new. That’s like saying the aforementioned printer should still have his job. And flights should only be booked by travel agents. And you have to be rich to make a record. And while we’re at it, let’s bring back record stores.

There are losses in every revolution. But the gains far outweigh what falls by the wayside.

Get off your high horse and talk to the audience. Or a hit act. They’re both happy.

And you don’t like it. You think the world should spin for your benefit.

It doesn’t.

“Why Uber just might be worth it at $18 billion”

It’s all anybody talks about, other than Airbnb. This exalted status used to be occupied by music. How did this happen?

Interestingly, Travis Kalanick, Uber’s majordomo, used to be in the file-trading business, with a company called Scour, you know how that turned out, the record companies killed file-trading dead and it took the better part of a decade for streaming services to put a dent in piracy, and now the artists who wouldn’t say boo about Napster are all up in arms about Spotify and if you think this is a good thing, you probably hate change and wish that you could have your old Doc Martens back, you know, the ones with the eyelets ripped out.

Uber is kind of like the Beatles. It came from left field, completely unexpected, there were early adopters, and then critical mass, yes, Uber was around for years before it was fully embraced.

And then people couldn’t stop talking about it, now even oldsters.

And what did Uber do best…STICK IT TO THE MAN!

Who’s sticking it to the man in music?

I’d opine that music IS THE MAN!

Yup, look at the price of concert tickets, look at celebrity endorsements/sponsorships, if you get all warm and tingly about musical artists either they have little traction or you’ve barely hit puberty. The rest of the public…shrugs.

Uber utilized new technology to upend the existing taxi system. Yup, Uber used a smartphone app. Whereas, as stated above, artists HATE Spotify, which runs cleanly on an app. Because artists are so stupid they can’t understand the concept of critical mass. That you build the infrastructure first, and then money comes raining down. They’ve got cable and wireless subscriptions, but to explain the financial investment is too much for them to understand, either because they’re too old and don’t believe in math, or they’re too young and don’t know it.

But just like Pro Tools, Uber understood the costs of production have gone down. Believe me, I’ll get an e-mail from someone lamenting the death of studios, what next, string sections? Hell, something is lost in every venture into the future, but that does not mean the mass will stay locked in the past. Actually, it’s always the mass which drives adoption of these new services, people catch on and can’t stop talking about them. Yes, the customer is driving adoption, if you think the enemy is Shawn Fanning or Daniel Ek you don’t know jack. The enemy is your own damn fans, assuming you’ve got them, they’re the ones who love streaming your music on YouTube.

And, interestingly, people love paying more on Uber for convenience. We charge people for VIP at festivals, but music is all about INCONVENIENCE! Lines to get in, lines to buy food, which is oftentimes inadequate. And it’s always someone else’s problem in music, it’s Ticketmaster’s or the venue’s or the lender’s, no one takes responsibility. Who is the Travis Kalanick in music, who actually drove an Uber car one night? I haven’t read about Michael Rapino going to a gig as a regular punter, nor Doug Morris writing a new song and trying to get signed. In music, everybody who’s made it is above the populace, whereas Kalanick is reachable and has a personality, albeit abrasive. Everybody in music has shorn off his rough edges, especially in country, where the music/scene is so smooth, many have troubling holding on.

And you wonder why everybody goes into tech, why everybody talks about tech.

Because in tech they’re pushing the envelope, in tech they’re breaking rules, in tech they’re making MONEY!

Where is the opportunity in music?

The label doesn’t want to hire you and give you upward mobility and there are so many rights issues that venture capital money is hard to get.

I’m not saying the VCs haven’t raped and pillaged along with those they’ve sponsored in music ventures, but I am saying this disruptive consciousness is the ethos of tech. There’s no disruption in music, other than some band no one wants to listen to because the singer can’t sing and the guitarist can’t play.

It’s always about hits, it’s always about artists. When you tell me you love your niche act that hasn’t made it, you’re part of the problem, not part of the solution. What we need are new mass acts, ones so good that they can reach EVERYBODY! Ones willing to test limits, get people excited, talking about them and their music.

And nothing I write here will make that happen.

What needs to happen is someone out in the field who’s really damn good and willing to do it differently.

But those people don’t go into music anymore. We get the same people who imitate Snooki and Kim Kardashian, the former of whom has already been forgotten and the latter of whom has brought down one of the great black hopes of music, yes, Kanye was willing to do it differently, until he got so wrapped up in his ego no one could identify with him anymore.

We want to listen, we want to talk about music.

But it all depends on the musicians.

And a business that is willing to forgo short money for long, that stops complaining and starts breaking rules.

Even Kim Carnes sang about breaking all the rules tonight.

Today country artists sing about their trucks, wishing for an endorsement from Ford and rappers sing about a lifestyle no one lives and popsters are so two-dimensional you’ve got to be brain dead to think they’re real.

But we once had the Who breaking rules. With a rock opera.

But what sold “Tommy”? A HIT! The indelible “Pinball Wizard.”

The band only got traction when they recorded “I Can See For Miles,” after “Happy Jack,” “My Generation” was a start but despite its vaunted status today, it got very little airplay back in the day, and sales…forget about it.

So if you’re off the radar, stay there. Or wake up and make music that’s challenging that we can all relate to.

Lift us out of the doldrums. It’s your responsibility.

And it depends on intelligence and skill and an ability to look at the status quo and change it up.

It’s like we’ve lost the keys to the kingdom…

BEST CLIP OF THE WEEK

“Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO): Climate Change Debate”

I watch no television other than Bill Maher. Oh, I pay for it, just call Time Warner and they’ll remind you if you excise TV from your bill, your Internet price will soar. But I’m now going to tune into John Oliver’s program, all because of this clip.

He substituted on the “Daily Show” when Jon Stewart went off to make a movie, what a mistake that was, TV reaches everybody, films reach nobody, but still, I wasn’t paying attention.

Until this.

Ain’t that the way it always is. You receive an e-mail, you click through and experience brilliant insight.

I used to say only animated characters could speak the truth, but today we rely on comedians too.

This is a better explanation of the climate change debate than any article I’ve ever read in the “New York Times,” never mind the “Wall Street Journal,” proving once again it’s about conception and execution, anybody can have an idea, anybody can recite the facts, but can you reconstitute them in such a way that they have a dramatic effect?

John Oliver did here.

FACT OF THE WEEK

“Google Passes Microsoft in U.S. Browser Market Share”

It’s not quite like what it appears on the surface, Internet Explorer still wins on the desktop, but it’s getting killed on mobile, and we live in a mobile world.

And this matters because he who controls the browser controls advertising.

But really, the desktop computer is now solely for work, we expect to have an encyclopedia at our fingertips, known as the mobile device, please optimize your website for mobile, because the truth is that’s where all the traffic is.

APHORISM OF THE WEEK

“Perfection is substandard.”

Uttered by my friend Shakil Khan, an investor in Spotify.

He makes the point that if you’re taking our money, if you’re providing a service, today the expectation is perfection, anything less and we move on. And we only now care about the exceptional.

HARI KONDABOLU

“My English Relationship”

Watch the whole thing.

What do they say, “smart is sexy”?

And you wonder why Irving Azoff is in the comedy business. It’s because these comics are testing limits in the ways musicians used to, in subversive ways those in power can’t even contemplate.

I discovered Mr. Kondabolu on NPR, pushing the SiriusXM buttons on the way back from Palm Springs. I only listen to the satellite, and the longer the trip, the deeper I go.

The original NPR story:

“Why Comedian Hari Kondabolu Is ‘Waiting For 2042′”

THE BEST WRITING ON BERGDAHL

“Frank Rich on the National Circus: Bowe Bergdahl and the Messy End of America’s Longest War”

Now that Jill Abramson is gone, can Frank Rich come back to the “New York Times”? Now that the publication is a web first one, and he can write at the length and frequency he prefers? Because this brilliant thinker must not be left in the backwater known as “New York” magazine.

Many can write, few can think, Rich can do both.

The reviled theatre critic is now warmer and fuzzier and it’s people like Rich, and the aforementioned comedians, who can truly impact America.

GILBERT GOTTFRIED ON SETH MEYERS

Gilbert Gottfried On Getting in Trouble On Twitter

Gilbert just launched a podcast, it’s positively awful, because Gilbert’s a guest, not a host, just because Marc Maron made inroads, that does not mean every comedian can create riveting “radio.”

But Gilbert shines so brightly in this clip, on the Meyers show nobody watches and nobody talks about. If you desire to have a late night show, you desire to dive into the depths of despair, with all the pressure and none of the audience. As for Fallon… People watch the next day on YouTube if at all, otherwise he’s so saccharine and sycophantic you go into sugar shock. But I’m not the only one who sees it this way, I’d tell you to read Emily Nussbaum’s analysis in the “New Yorker”

“The Host In The Machine”

but it’s behind a paywall, that’s the problem with the holier-than-thou publication, it’s an echo chamber for the better than caste. Today it’s all about mass and influence. Reach is first, economics are second. Because without reach, economics don’t matter. So what we’ve got is every left wing/liberal publication/pundit hiding behind a paywall, scratching their chin wondering why they have no impact. It’s the HITS stupid! Even Arianna Huffington with her execrable linkbait site has figured this out. Unlike the “Times,” never mind the “New Yorker,” she’s got hits.

Meanwhile, read David Pogue about linkbait here:

You Have No Idea What’s Behind These Clickbait Headlines! So I’ll Tell You!

THE FLAME THROWERS

It didn’t get good until page 200, when they went to Lake Como. Then it got so good, I didn’t want to put it down, I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I was done, I was dying to meet the author, Rachel Kushner, because you want to hang out with the scribe and discover how they came to write this stuff.

This was one of the best reviewed books of the year, that fact will make you decry the New York publishing intelligentsia, because the book is so overwritten and dense and vague that you want to stop reading it. But don’t, because the reward will evidence itself. But I would not tackle “Flame Throwers” unless you’ve got a deep desire.

P.S. Yes, I found all the skiing references riveting.

The Flamethrowers

ROBERT KRULWICH’S CALTECH COMMENCEMENT SPEECH

Radiolab – Tell Me A Story

Jad Abumrad drives the bus, gets all the press, but this “Radiolab” cohost knocks it out of the park in this 2008 commencement speech, it’s a crime everybody hasn’t listened to it.

Krulwich says it’s all about story, and scientists have an obligation to tell theirs, to push the envelope and combat falsehoods.

If you’re going to listen to a podcast, start with “Radiolab.”

CHARLES GRODIN ON LOUIE

Charles Grodin on LOUIE

This is not the clip I wanted to show you, but I can’t find that one posted online, wherein Mr. Grodin pontificates about relationships to Louie as they stroll in the snow.

Charles Grodin is in one of my favorite movies ever, the original “Heartbreak Kid.” He was a comedic icon until he got a TV talk show and it buried him. It’s shocking to see him so old on “Louie,” but it’s invigorating and inspirational at the same time. Because he’s keepin’ on keepin’ on, after all, what can we do? Or as Woody Allen says, we need the eggs.

Louie is a conundrum. He’s not ha-ha funny, but you’re rooting for him because unlike the dross that carpets this great nation of ours, from the Kardashians to singing shows to linkbait to…he’s trying to get at the underbelly, depict real life and the questions with regard thereto, and therefore, we root for him.

Few others do this, because there’s not enough money in it. They play by the rules, suck up and we can’t identify and oftentimes abandon them, because we’re not stuck to them, there’s nothing to stick to.

But these Charles Grodin moments on Louie’s show… They’re creepy and endearing all at the same time, fatalistic yet hopeful, life-affirming even though Mr. Grodin is 79.

The truth is we all die. The job is to hold on and go through all the passages.

You can’t do this if you refuse to get old, if you get plastic surgery and wear skinny jeans.

It’s tough, especially for baby boomers, who always believed they were going to rule until they died.

But the truth is they’re not.

And if you can look forward instead of back, you’ll be much better off.

AUTOBAHN

Start here, because everybody else did.

Yes, it’s hard to believe today, but once upon a time this sound was revolutionary, surprising, something everybody talked about.

Today, it’s the basis for what’s now known as EDM, Kraftwerk is the acknowledged progenitor.

It was so weird to hear this coming out of the radio, and we did, back when stations were not so calcified, when they did not give listeners what they wanted, but what they needed to hear.

And there was a radio edit, but if you want to go on a trip, check out the almost twenty three minute, full side original.

It was in German, we could understand not a word other than “autobahn,” which we knew was Germany’s superhighway.

You could play this for ten year olds and they’d believe it was cut yesterday!

TRANS-EUROPE EXPRESS

Of all the songs about trains, this sounds most like the ride, the hypnotic roll of the wheels, the trance travel puts you in.

The word “hypnotic” was created for stuff like this.

It makes you want to go on the journey, not only in your mind, but the real train. Just like we wanted to visit all the Southern California locales in the Zappa songs.

It’s 6:37, and it’s almost not long enough.

EUROPE ENDLESS

This is the opener on the “Trans-Europe Express” album.

It’s funny that so much of today’s hit music has no melody, yet the work of these Germans utilizing computer instruments features it!

Well, I’m not saying you will want to sing along, but the twinkling will enrapture you and you’ll feel joyful and if you put this on on a Sunday afternoon you won’t want to take it off.

SHOWROOM DUMMIES

This was a featured number when I saw the band at the Santa Monica Civic, on the “Computer World” tour. The presentation included actual showroom dummies.

This is the music the SNL Dieter skit was derived from. But when originally done by Kraftwerk it was not spoofable, it was cutting edge.

COMPUTER WORLD

The apotheosis, the one Kraftwerk album you’ve got to know, the one that was a seamless adventure throughout, the one that hypnotized you and titillated and gratified you all at the same time. The tracks are short, and each one is a winner.

And why not start here, with the title/opening cut.

Now let me tell you, there were TWO versions of “Computer World,” the one you’re listening to and the original, “Computerwelt,” in GERMAN! It’s the same music, but with different language lyrics, a friend made me a cassette, back when stuff was rare and you reveled in uncovering and owning it.

Business, numbers, money, people

Could they be more PRESCIENT!

This was long before the Internet revolution, when only a few people had Apple IIs. The darkness of the music reflects a world where we’re all known and Edward Snowden is in the headlines, this is the soundtrack of TODAY!

POCKET CALCULATOR

The single, back when KROQ meant something, when the station played a cut and it spread across this great nation of ours.

And if you only listen to this, you’ll want to shoot yourself. Yes, there’s something offensive at first, the repetition, the sounds, but in the context of the album you come to love it. The sounds of the calculator… Those were the revolution before PCs, by this time, in 1981, pocket calculators were cheap and everybody had one.

NUMBERS

They count off in German and I knew what they were saying because I had a camp counselor who taught me the numbers in that language.

This is less accessible than what came before on the album, but when they count in multiple languages…it’s strangely affecting.

COMPUTER WORLD 2

The first side ends with a reprise of the title track, in a more upbeat take, as if to invite us all into this new age that was going to change our lives…AND IT DID!

COMPUTER LOVE

This is the one Coldplay ripped off, knowingly, they gave Kraftwerk credit, because some lyrical melodies are such hooks they’re undeniable.

I don’t think computers can fall in love, not yet, but we have utilized them to fall in love ourselves, and this is the soundtrack of all that hope when we tickle the keys.

Play this and you’ll find the whole room nodding its collective head and asking…WHAT IS THIS?

HOME COMPUTER

The least accessible track on “Computer World,” it’s the one you come to after you burn the others out.

The people who programmed their own computers did beam themselves into the future!

IT’S MORE FUN TO COMPUTE

Such a dark song to illustrate fun. I’m including the entire “Computer World” album because not only is it so great, you should know it!

TOUR DE FRANCE

The 1983 song written for the famous bicycle race that begins with labored breathing so reminiscent of the two wheeled effort. Eventually the band put out a whole “Tour De France” album…

But really, this was the last memorable, original thing the band ever did. There was a final, long-delayed studio album “Electric Cafe” released in the waning days of 1986, but it was a disappointment.

Then Kraftwerk splintered, they remixed their music, their legend grew, but no new music was released.

Finally, they went on the road.

And now they’re down to one.

And you can ask why you want to see something like this live, and I agree with you conceptually, but that July 30, 1981 Santa Monica Civic show was one of the best I’ve seen by ANY BAND!

It’s all about conception, and then execution.

Rather than emote and try to reach out and grab us, the band was distant, which caused us to lean in and try to get closer.

This music is timeless.

It’s the sound of our…FUTURE!

Rhinofy-Kraftwerk Primer