Find the end of the rainbow
Fly wherever the winds blow
Laugh at life like a sideshow
Just what you need to make you feel better

John Miles never broke through in America, but he’s a star in my book, because he sings lead on “(The System of) Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether”!

Huh?

Once upon a time Alan Parsons was unknown. And his initial LP didn’t help his condition. Released on 20th Century Fox in two different incarnations, it made not a dent, no one cared that Parsons was a famous engineer, and 20th Century Fox was a noted entity in the film business, but nearly irrelevant and certainly inept in music. As a result, Ambrosia’s first album was nearly buried, it too came out on 20th Century Fox, is that why the band ended up playing on Parsons’s opus? I DON’T KNOW!

I didn’t know much. By time the second iteration of the LP was released, it featured only an illustration of Mr. Parsons and almost nothing more. The details evaporated with the rarely seen gatefold cover the album was released with first.

And lord only knows what inspired me to buy it. I found the album in the promo bin at my favorite record store on Gayley, in Westwood, and at two bucks I took a flyer. I ended up buying five copies, I gave them away, just like I did with Karla Bonoff’s debut, which I discovered the same way.

THE RAVEN

The album starts off with an instrumental, almost the whole second side is instrumental, you can ignore it if you choose, you won’t be missing much.

But the second cut is this, “The Raven.”

That’s the right, “Tales of Mystery and Imagination” was inspired by Edgar Allan Poe, it featured the same moniker as Poe’s 1908 collection.

Nevermore!

Thus quote the raven, you remember that from high school, don’t you?

Actor Leonard Whiting performs the main vocal, Parsons appears on vocorder and Eric Woolfson does the backups. The end result is majestic, positively cinematic.

It starts off quietly. With a thumping bass that resembles nothing so much as a heartbeat.

And then the track starts to build. It’s like you’re descending into a dark basement, apprehensive, and then the world starts to spin, you’re on an adventure that’s only yours, you’ve left the world behind.

It’s not a single, it’s not a hit, it’s something better…an album cut speaking only to you. From a concept album, back when you needed an entire LP to tell your story.

THE TELL-TALE HEART

Arthur Brown! That’s right, from the “CRAZY WORLD OF”!

By this time he was a has-been, only famous for his 1968 super-smash “Fire.”

And befitting its vocalist, “The Tell-Tale Heart” starts off on a tear, there’s no subtlety involved.

But it does get quiet in the middle, with strings and moodiness, reflectiveness, but then the whole concoction starts to pulse and tear once again.

Louder and louder
Till I could tell the sound was not within my ears
You should have seen me
You would have seen my eyes grow white and cold with fear

Only Arthur Brown could convey this scariness, and if he was frightened…you should be too!

Perfect casting. Classic.

THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO

I read the short story in sophomore English class, Mrs. Hurley dared someone to do it, while holding a lit candle in the darkness.

The problem was there was not quite enough time, so I ended up rushing and sacrificing dramatic effect in order to finish.

Funny what you remember…

But as a result I’ve never forgotten the word “amontillado,” although John Miles pronounces it differently.

The track is lyrical, melodic, it has movements.

Funny how punk was launched at the same time.

But it was possible to love bombast as well as simplicity.

I certainly did.

(THE SYSTEM OF) DOCTOR TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER

The first side closer, the single. The tour-de-force.

How did Alan Parsons come up with such greatness, a near-masterpiece?

He switched labels, on Arista he started to have hits.

But his initial failure tarnished his inspiration. He was always a bit cautious thereafter, never quite as out there, never quite as adventurous. If you listen to one Alan Parsons album, “Tales of Mystery and Imagination” is it.

And you should.

Then you’ll know what the seventies were like. When nobody sounded quite the same and everybody was testing limits. When you broke the shrinkwrap and you never knew what you would encounter. When you couldn’t wait to turn your friends on to your favorites. When music still drove the culture. When you sang songs in your head because they inspired you.

I still sing “Doctor Tarr.” It pops into my head at the strangest moments.

LIKE TODAY!

Rhinofy-Tales of Mystery and Imagination

Nobody wants to watch the Discovery Channel. 2.9 million people viewed “Naked and Afraid.” But a hundred million paid for it. More than a buck a month. The CEO made $156 million. Now what?

Lawsuits.

Verizon is following the customer, allowing its FiOS TV subscribers to pick and choose channels. And the content providers are going nuts!

Sound familiar?

Let me analogize for you.

A CD cost $12. But people only wanted to hear one song. There was no other way to get it than to purchase the album. The labels liked the income and the acts believed the other nine tracks had value, but not to the ultimate customer, who didn’t care and oftentimes didn’t believe in the act at all, moving on to someone else soon thereafter.

What changed the equation?

PIRACY!

Piracy is disruptive, sure it’s theft, but it breaks the logjam. You might be bitching you’re making less money on recorded music, but you’re simultaneously complaining about your cable bill.

You can’t have it both ways.

Napster begat the iTunes Store, the great unbundling already happened in the music business, and the acts still haven’t recovered. Turns out most people only want the single, and with everything available they don’t want your music, maybe not at all. Kind of like in cable… The three networks used to have 90% of the audience, but now the four and a half networks get a fifth of the viewers, with the rest spread amongst a zillion outlets. And these outlets get paid by the cable company, via extortion. That’s right, the providers consolidated the channels, such that if you turn off one, we won’t give you the other. As a result, customers are paying for what they don’t want to watch. And they’re sick and tired of it.

Now in music we’re ahead, you can get all the programming in one spot, whereas in TV you’ve got to have a subscription to Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Showtime, cable, internet… They’re inviting you to pirate. However, we’re also moving in the wrong direction in music, with the exclusive. Once Apple/Spotify/Tidal all have different product people will return to piracy, or stop paying all together, as they’re doing with cable, cutting the cord.

HBO is going direct. You no longer need a cable contract, you can subscribe on the internet for $15.

But HBO is a winner, Discovery is not.

Taylor Swift is a winner, you are not.

That’s right, the old model was different. Very few people could record and distribute. Radio was the only way to get traction, and the major labels controlled the slots. And, as stated above, music was sold in a bundle for a high price. So, if you ran this gauntlet, you were a winner, you made money, whether it be the advance on your deal, even if you were a failed artist, or the royalties you got as a songwriter. But now that old system has been decimated, via the internet and piracy, and it turns out most people don’t want most music and you just can’t make what you used to.

Like Discovery. I’d cancel it tomorrow if I could, I haven’t watched it in years.

Nor have I viewed the vaunted ESPN, which costs every cable customer six plus bucks. That’s right, the success of sports is built upon a fiction, that we all care. But we don’t. Go a la carte and sports turn niche. Well, they tumble to a level far below the perch the media puts them upon now. As for the value of live sports… That’s to the advertiser, other than the Super Bowl, which is a national holiday, most people aren’t watching the game either. And if we all stop paying six plus bucks a month…

Everybody makes less money.

The corporations didn’t beat you, the public did!

It turns out people have time for great, they’ll even pay for it. HBO has got over 30 million subscribers, it costs $15 a month. Just like people will pay triple digits to see a superstar in concert. But they won’t pay to see you.

Superstars are making more than ever before. Sure, recorded music is a smaller piece of the pie, but ticket prices have far outpaced inflation and sponsorship offers are legion.

But it’s hard to become a superstar. You have to be great, you have to have promotion, to gain traction and stick you have to be at it for years.

And there are very few shortcuts. Ignore the U2 tour hype. They scaled down from stadiums, their new album was distributed and not heard. The people going are all Gen-X’ers who still believe, there are no new fans, because U2 is irrelevant, because the band doesn’t have hits.

You hate that you need hits.

But that’s what “Game of Thrones” is.

No one wanted to watch “John from Cincinnati.”

And that obscure show you love on Animal Planet… It’s being paid for by those who never watch, who aren’t even aware of it. It’s going to disappear when the great unbundling appears.

Which is happening now. In five years the TV landscape will look totally different. You’ll pay less, but there will be fewer high quality shows available. Then again, maybe TV should be made on the cheap, for YouTube.

You can be on YouTube. You can put your music up there and get paid just like the superstars.

But you won’t make much because most people don’t care, you have a tiny audience not because your promotion sucks, but you do.

Sorry to wake you up.

But what killed you was the customer. Turns out the customer only wants great. And if something is superior, there’s seemingly no limit to what he’ll lay down for it.

Them’s are the rules, that’s the game we’re playing, don’t shoot the messenger, your cheese was not only moved, but completely stolen, you can complain all you want but it ain’t gonna make any difference.

Note: Partially inspired by “How Cable Lost The Remote”

The Allman Brothers had a slow build, their initial album was ignored, the second was known only by cognoscenti and the third blew up, not through airplay, but WORD OF MOUTH!

Imagine there was a band so good, people couldn’t stop testifying about them, dragging their friends to a show so adventurous yet refined that it fulfilled all your dreams. Never forget, it was the Allmans that closed Watkins Glen, the Band and the Dead opened for them.

STATESBORO BLUES

This was the opener. An air guitar number so fast and furious you could not play it at home. That was the genius of Duane. He started off at 100 MPH and stayed there. The Allmans had something to prove. It was they who initiated southern rock, everybody else went through the door they opened. And when you’re breaking ground you can’t screw up, you can’t just be good, you’ve got to blow people away!

“Statesboro Blues” was the opening cut on “Fillmore East.” You dropped the needle that fall of ’71 and you were off on a wild ride, as we were Friday night. Gregg may look worse for wear, but his voice is still there, after the opening riff, after the band locks into the groove, Gregg starts to sing and then drifts his fingers over the organ keys and you’re taken right back to what once was when.

TROUBLE NO MORE

I’ll argue that the Allmans’ debut was their best work. It was sterile, the production was off, the live album is more them, but through the scrim you can hear them working their asses off, with that exquisite concoction of confidence and desire to prove.

I bought it after “Idlewild South” and “Fillmore East.” You’ve got to hear the compact five minute version of “Whipping Post.” But the highlight is “Trouble No More.”

Don’t care how long you go
Don’t care how long you stay
Good kind treatment
Bring you home someday
Someday baby, ain’t gonna trouble, poor me, ANYMORE!

You put me through the grinder, but not only am I done with you, I’M OVER YOU! Easier said than done, but you’re helped by music. It’s the essence of metal, it’s something pop rarely delivers. You want a sound that drowns out all the noise, that picks you up and carries you away. And that’s “Trouble No More.” Listening to the rendition Friday night I was taken right back and completely away. I got that hit of what once was. When you went to the show to be transported, away from regular life, all the b.s.

THESE DAYS

So Gregg straps on an acoustic, begins strumming one of the most famous songs in his canon, one written by Jackson Browne and done by so many others but made legendary by him on his solo album “Laid Back.”

Does it get any better than this?

NOT FOR THIS AUDIENCE!

Let me get this straight, you’re paying a hundred bucks to get in, you’re at a unique experience and you can’t even pay attention, never mind respect?

Bummed me out immensely.

What is it, the lack of seats? When they were torn out did concertgoers lose all decorum?

Or is the me generation, where everybody is a star. Gregg’s up there pouring out his heart and no one cares. I couldn’t find a box to put it all in.

AIN’T WASTIN’ TIME NO MORE

The opening cut on “Eat A Peach,” the posthumous album with a bit of new stuff and a bunch of old Duane. It never gets any respect, it’s never mentioned, but it’s a personal favorite.

You don’t need no gypsy to tell you why
You can’t let one precious day slip by

You’ve got to look inside, you’re the only one with the answers. Just put on a record, lay back and think, the truth will come.

Just talk to any baby boomer in the business, they heard this music and had to get closer, they didn’t get in to get rich, but to be next to the art and the artists, to turn others on to the elixir. The scene was run by musicians, who could testify about influences and desires if they could talk at all, who didn’t know brands other than Jack Daniel’s and Marlboro, who had handlers who whipped off hundreds as they did whatever they chose, knowing the music would carry them through and make everything right.

And sure, music was not free. But it was the music that generated all this heat. Because it’s all about belief. Music is religion, excise that element and you’ve got soulless pabulum that’s here today and gone tomorrow, unlike the music of the Allman Brothers.

HOT ‘LANTA

I remember my family being pissed I called it that. A friend was going to the capital of the south, and I said they were going to “Hot ‘Lanta” and I was EXCORIATED!

Welcome to my life. Persecuted when I was not ignored. I found solace in my records, when the world was closing in I put them on.

This is Gregg’s showcase, he played it right after his break, right after introducing the band.

I know it by heart.

MELISSA

Uh-oh. Another acoustic number. Everybody’s talking. Walla if you’ve ever worked in the movie business. And then Gregg reaches the chorus and the assembled multitude sings…SWEET MELISSA! Almost a sigh, in unison.
The reason there are so many thirtysomething Melissas is because of this song. That’s the power of music.

MIDNIGHT RIDER

Same deal.

Come on, can you mistake the intro? With the groove of a clomping horse? Gregg’s giving it his best, everybody’s talking and then when he reaches the chorus everybody sings…MIDNIGHT RIDER!

It was like a bizarre horror movie. Where the zombies wake up every once in a while and utter a key phrase. Every time through, every chorus. It’s like their brains had been removed but the song was in their DNA!

SOUTHBOUND

So, let’s see. Arena act, STADIUM ACT, survives but ends up playing a club.

But that’s not really what happened. It was a special gig tied into Stagecoach, Allman doesn’t usually play venues this small, never mind with a full horn section, and, as stated above, tickets were $100.

Still…

Was this like the jazzbos, playing deep into the night earning their keep…

Or was it a legend coming down from the mountaintop to deign us with excellence and then disappear?

You’ve got to understand, it used to be different. We used to be bored, we used to go to the bar to connect, you couldn’t do it on the internet, there’d be a jukebox, and for a while there in the seventies, it was populated with Allman hits.

But really, the band was for the dorm room, the house party, when you were all sitting in a circle with the lights down low, drinking Bud and bourbon, getting higher and higher, communing with your buddies, dreaming of getting laid but getting none.

But Gregg was getting enough for all of us. He was our hero, not someone to make fun of, but to emulate.

Not that we could ever be him. But just maybe, inspired by his music, we could achieve our dreams. Which included good sex, a fulfilling job and tickets to the show, we had to go to the show.

And we still do.

Because we remember.

When music tested limits, when it changed the world.

Bob Ezrin was right.

And if you don’t believe so, you’re young and ignorant or an oldster trying to look hip. Sure, there’s good music today. But it used to be different. Music was peopled by the best and the brightest, testing limits. The entry price was low. Albums were way under ten bucks and so were tickets. And you had to go the show, to not only be transported, but to change your life.

Music is forever.

But there was only one Renaissance. They’ve made music since the sixties and seventies, but the coalition of forces engendered greatness that hooked the entire world. The radio station was your bible, the music was your religion and the rock stars were your gods.

Still are.

CODA

He’s 67 and looks it. He’s not exactly frail, but he’s not the picture of health. Up close and personal he’s a southern gentleman, with a voice so soft you can barely hear, but with a brain working overtime. He told me about breaking his arm, playing a gig the next day. And when I asked him what he thought about everybody talking during “These Days” Gregg said he didn’t even notice, because he was in the ZONE!

They do it for themselves, not us.

You can tell the difference.

And it makes all the difference.

You can get close, but you’re never gonna catch the midnight rider.

IT’S WHO YOU KNOW

A spice rub company couldn’t get arrested at Sam’s Club, they’d been trying to get their product stocked for years, but once they made a deal with Barbara Corcoran, voila!, they were in.

Stop becoming such an expert. You’re not. It’s great to be a student of the game, to know about royalties and players, but the best way to get ahead is to hire an intermediary, who will navigate the waters for you. And it’s less about knowing where to go, than knowing the right people to go to.

Who needs product? Who is open to making a deal?

And people who make a deal only want to deal with those they know. Of course there are exceptions, but very few.

You need a lawyer or a manager, someone who’s been there before. Don’t denigrate the players, INGRATIATE yourself with them!

HISTORY

No one wants to invest in someone without a track record.

How long have you been at it, how many albums have you sold, how many YouTube views do you have, how many gigs have you done, how many people have attended, how much money did you make?

Yes, enthusiasm is contagious, but it’s no match for data.

If you want someone to invest, you must have proof of concept.

If you don’t, it’s too early.

DON’T BE IRRATIONAL

Nothing spins heads as much as a newbie with little track record who turns down a deal because they believe they’re a winner. Then why are you looking for a deal? Of course you can go it alone, but if you’re looking for help, be open to it. Listen. You don’t know everything, you probably know very little. And initial deals with newbies tend to be bad, they only get better with a proven track record. And a small piece of something is much better than a big piece of nothing. They’re cliches because they’re true, like you’ve got to spend money to make money. Don’t reinvent the wheel, put it on your vehicle and roll.

DON’T ARGUE

No one wants to be involved with someone who’s a headache. If you’re headstrong, if you have a retort to all insight, no one’s gonna want a piece of you, no matter how good your product, life is too short.

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO LIKE YOU

You only need a deal from one shark. It’s great to get into a bidding war, but you’ve ultimately got to decide who to go with. And that person is frequently not the one who offers the most money. The struggle is just beginning. You need someone who will help you.

And, there are 300 million people in America. You don’t have to please all of them, a tiny fraction of fans will make you rich and successful.

EXPERIENCE COUNTS

Respect the sharks. They didn’t get there by accident. Sometimes daddy gets them in, but usually they’re self-made. Investigate why they’re successful, don’t put them down. They learned a lot of lessons, which can rub off on you if you’re in business with them.

BE WILLING TO HEAR THE TRUTH

An investor wants to know you’re open to change, that you’re malleable, that you can pivot. Someone kicking the tires does not need to know that everything is right, but enough things. It’s their job to give direction and input. If you need nothing but money, chances are people don’t want to be involved, they want to steer some. If you refuse all input, you don’t want a deal.

INVESTING IS POKER

Sharks don’t reveal their hand right up front, that’s your job. You’re selling. Negotiations are fraught with issues. And due diligence is key. Just because you got a deal on the show, that does not mean you got a deal in real life. When the cameras stop rolling the real work begins. You told a story, upon investigation, is it real?

EVERY DEAL IS DIFFERENT

How much equity, how much cash, a letter of credit? There’s no set term sheet. And every business is different. Some have cash flow issues, others need distribution… That’s one of the first things an investor asks, WHAT DO YOU WANT? The conversation starts there.

SMART IS ATTRACTIVE

You don’t have to finish college, but it helps.

When someone throws a curve ball, can you react? Can you think and respond on the spot? Can you do anything but get flustered and repeat what you’ve already said? Investors are looking for grace under pressure, from those intelligent enough to cogitate, to know that as hard as they’ve thought about it, they haven’t thought of everything.

YOU, NOT YOUR IDEA

The idea, the music, the product, is secondary to yourself. People are investing in YOU! Oftentimes the sharks don’t bid, but say the creator is a winner. Sometimes you just haven’t found the right idea, the right musical format. Winners keep changing, looking for gold. Losers just double down and tell everybody who disagrees that they’re wrong and will be proven so. They don’t realize everybody is laughing at them.

DON’T REINVENT THE WHEEL

“Shark Tank” is based on the Japanese TV show “Dragon’s Den.” You don’t always have to reinvent the wheel. You can take a preexisting concept and make it your own. And it’s about perseverance more than splash. There’s so much noise today that it’s about doing good work, being in the marketplace and waiting for word to spread. “Shark Tank” premiered in 2009. It doubled its ratings and audience over four years. It’s a long haul, some make it immediately, most don’t.

Every artist should watch “Shark Tank,” religiously. To see how the game is played.

But a great artist creates something ethereal, that is only quantifiable after the fact.

But there are very few great artists out there.

Being a businessman is very different from being an artist. It’s extremely rare that people are both. You need help. Take it!

“ZinePak Emerges Victorious From ‘Shark Tank’ With $725,000”

“With More than $3 Million in Annual Sales, Why ZinePak Decided to Go on ‘Shark Tank'”

Mark Cuban was out. He thought the company was based in desperation, that physical is dying. But the other sharks wanted to make a deal. Was it ignorance or pure numbers? That’s one thing about an investor, he may be interested only in the money. If you want someone to hold your hand and be your best friend you’re dreaming. It’s about the cold hard cash.

As for ZinePak… Two women, negotiating the waters successfully. Selling millions. They could do it, can you?