The song remains the same. Clueless old farts make deals for legacy companies that are vastly overpriced, believing brands have meaning in the fast-moving internet world.

That’s right, while Microsoft buys Nokia, Facebook purchases Instagram and WhatsApp. Because Mark Zuckerberg actually uses the internet and whoever really made the decision at Microsoft does not. And how come we never hear about Redmond’s purchase of Skype? It’s kind of like Garth Brooks’s download site and album sales, if anything good happened he would have told us, but he didn’t.

The old CEO of Verizon knew what he was doing. That it was all about NETWORK! That’s why I overpay for the red company, because not only did I used to want to know that they heard me now, today I want LTE coverage in the hinterlands, which I get. But while this new bozo was shifting towards content he let speeds decline, AT&T is actually faster in some areas (don’t switch, you still can’t get a connection, LTE is nonexistent in too many places and you can get text messages days late) and T-Mobile is eating his lunch by providing power-users data access overseas. Want to increase your market share? Start with the influencers, those who get others to follow. Once they go somewhere else, you’re toast.

So what Verizon is buying here is an ad network.

But it could have bought the same service from a third party for much less. To overpay for AOL and its content is nuts.

As for entering a new sphere, I’m reminded of HP and Palm.

Palm is an also-ran with new technology that fails in the marketplace and is then laid off on HP which buries it. AOL is an also-ran whose prominence is in the distant past, like Palm’s was, and it cannot be resuscitated. As for Tim Armstrong, he’s a SALESMAN! Better to invest in a techie who can actually build something worthwhile than a guy who specializes in smoke and mirrors. Buying AOL is like buying BlackBerry. Something that once was that is dying a slow death, something with legacy adherents who are nearly meaningless. Acquiring dialup customers is like rolling up stick shift users, and even FERRARI has gone automatic!

As for the content play…

Speculators say that the Huffington Post may be spun off. As for TechCrunch, it was decimated when its star employees left eons ago. Because they couldn’t work for Mr. Armstrong. Who strong-armed them. As for Ms. Huffington, she’s got a nearly worthless site that has been trumped by BuzzFeed. That’s right, the HuffPo is all about link-bait, the lefties who supported Arianna left the building long ago. Once again, you’ve got an oldster who doesn’t understand the landscape who keeps saying she’s wining when she isn’t. Furthermore, BuzzFeed proves it’s all about original content, and Vice knows that he who has boots on the ground wins in the coming news wars. The HuffPo has nearly neither.

But the truth is Verizon’s Lowell McAdam and Tim Armstrong bonded in Sun Valley, that’s where it happened, at the Allen & Company confab. Proving once again it’s who you hang out with, who you know, that access trumps content.

So the game is over. AOL is finally dead. Subsumed into a larger company such that we can not assess its decline.

As for Verizon, which famously rebuffed Steve Jobs and the iPhone just like XM rebuffed Howard Stern, forays into content are a huge, money-wasting effort. Did you know that Verizon had a deal with the NFL? Nobody does. Verizon could have put a stake in the heart of AT&T the same way XM could have put a stake in the heart of Sirius, but instead, while it’s trying to figure out the future T-Mobile is putting a stake in its heart, because Americans are cheap and Verizon has got no cheap offering. T-Mobile is killing Sprint and Verizon is leaking too. But McAdam spends money on AOL? Isn’t it about the NETWORK?

Furthermore, the television/movie wars tell us if you want to expand into new territories it’s all about the content. That’s what Netflix, Hulu and Amazon are in a war over. Want to go into the content business Verizon, then feature exclusive content we want to watch!

What if you bought an ad platform and you had nothing anybody wanted to see.

Then you’d be Verizon.

Ass-backwards, if the strategy has any merit at all.

Call a spade a spade, this deal is nearly ridiculous.

But you don’t have to hear it from me, just read Twitter:

You’ve got jokes: Twitter reacts to Verizon’s AOL acquisition

These are the people you have to convince before the Street.

But Lowell McAdam doesn’t know that…

It used to be a religion.

That’s right, late night started with Steve Allen, matured with Johnny Carson and ended with David Letterman. There are people on at 11:35 now, even 11 and 12:35, but they’re poseurs, inheritors of a throne no one pays fealty to anymore, despite a fawning press gushing in adulation, trying to divert attention from its own death.

Johnny was damn good. But what’s stunning is how he’s been forgotten.

It’s like Jay Leno never existed. He’s still around, but the show was wiped from our memory banks instantly. It’s almost as if Jay was a warm-up act for sleep, and once your eyes shut you couldn’t remember a damn thing.

But there was this period in the eighties, when Dave ruled.

It was a club. There was an occasional story in “alternative” magazines like “Rolling Stone,” but mostly Letterman was ignored.

Except by his audience.

First and foremost he was on at 12:35. In an era where there were VCRs but almost no one knew how to program them. You had to stay up to watch him. And what you got was the Little Rascals on steroids, a clubhouse full of hijinks that no one had performed before. Dave wasn’t stupid enough to take chances with his mortality, but the situations Merrill Markoe put him in were not only memorable, you couldn’t stop telling people about them.

Merrill Markoe. She doesn’t get enough credit. Dave’s the star, but Merrill created the show.

And that’s how I found out about it, from friends. That’s how you find out about all the best stuff in this universe, via the passion expressed. You just have to check out what people are on about, to give them crap if nothing else.

And what intrigued me about Dave was his irreverence.

That’s what the Jimmys are lacking. That’s why Jon Stewart is a star.

You see the baby boomers were brought up to question authority, to never feel comfortable in a ruling position, and that’s another thing that endeared us to Dave, his uncomfortableness.

And of course we had the SNL refugee Paul Shaffer on keys. But even more we had all the acts we could never see on television anywhere else. I’ll never forget Sinead O’Connor doing “You Made Me The Thief Of Your Heart.” I played it over and over again. As I did Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m The Only One”…

That’s right, I recorded Dave’s show, but watched it even later each night. I have no time for commercials. And I had a thousand dollar VCR that was easy to program.

And I know all about the famous moments, Sonny & Cher, ultimately Drew Barrymore and Madonna, but that’s not what the appeal was. The appeal was you felt like a club member, and we all want to belong.

And we’re all not cool, we don’t have famous friends. And Dave famously never dated nor hung with the stars. You seemingly couldn’t take him out of Indiana.

And then there was his mother. Most celebs leave their parents behind, unless they’re dieted down to nothing and have limitless panache.

But Dave’s mom was just like ours. And we loved her for it.

And I know all about the “Tonight Show” nonsense, the late night wars, but the truth is Dave got his 11:35 slot and changed his show and it was never the same. He wore fancy suits, the band was no longer “Dangerous,” but an “Orchestra.” The first couple of years were a victory lap and then Dave bombed on the Oscars and the stink was upon him, the audience fled, he fired Morty and Jay took over.

Dave recovered, but it was never the same.

Because it wasn’t new, and it was for everybody, not just us.

If you want to know why Dave is retiring listen to his podcast with Alec Baldwin. He just didn’t want to put in the extra effort anymore. Because he didn’t care.

But I’ll argue Dave left the building long before.

As we all did… When the internet was upon us and we had options, not only at 11:35 but alternatives to broadcast television itself, and then cable too! The format was old and stale, Conan lacked charisma and Fallon is so sugarcoated as to be icky. It’d be like having the media obsessed with British Invasion clone bands. The world moved on, late night TV did not.

But it was good to know Dave was still there. Even if I didn’t watch him. It was a link to the past. One where someone completely ordinary-looking could rally his brethren for success.

But now he’s gonna be gone.

Everybody’s doing his show, but he won’t be. That’s right, during Johnny’s days every guest didn’t do a bit, they actually had real conversations, it’s Dave who turned late night into pure comedy.

But the format’s stale, as I said above.

We’re always looking for someone to push the limits. Someone not like them but us, who we can trumpet and make successful and then bask in the stardom of.

It ain’t late night stars anymore.

Maybe YouTubers, or Viners.

But no, they’re stars without talent. Dave had something. He was sharp. You could see his brain working. He was there to entertain us. But he maintained his dignity, except when he intentionally sacrificed it.

So, so long Dave.

Maybe you can come back once a week wearing your boxing shoes and sport jackets and make fun of what once was and continues to be.

But I’m thinking you’re gonna fade into the woodwork. And after the hoopla of the expiration of your show the media will move on.

But there are some of us who will never forget you.

The same way you never forget that guy in class who didn’t date either but had no problem pulling pranks and risking retribution.

Dave criticized his bosses.

He was TV’s Bob Dylan.

But unless you were there when it happened, primarily back in the eighties, you’ll never understand.

And for those of us who were, THAT’S POSITIVELY FINE!

Sinead O’Connor “You Made Me The Thief Of Your Heart”

Melissa Etheridge “I’m The Only One”

“Here’s The Thing With Alec Baldwin”

“Taking me higher than I’ve ever been before”

I do what Gary Slaight says.

In case you’re not aware of him, he’s a radio legend up north who sold his chain for a cool billion yet still retains his rock and roll identity, irreverent and fun. So that’s why I was there at the Radio Awards and I was utterly surprised when the show was opened by Kiesza.

She might be a one hit wonder, but the modern paradigm is you create a single, and if you do your job right, it becomes ubiquitous, part of the culture, we all know it and then…WE SEE YOU LIVE AND OUR EYES BUG OUT!

That’s the power of music, that’s what every other artistic medium cannot provide. That jolt of humanity and charisma that becomes part of our DNA such that when we see the being responsible for the record performing it our bodies tingle and there’s nowhere we’d rather be.

Not that there aren’t other ways to skin a cat. The night before Cowboy Junkies were inducted into the Hall of Fame. Irrelevant has-beens with one famous song, right?

I became a believer. Because there were minutes of guitar wailing, odd, intriguing sounds coming out of the amps, and then…THEY WENT INTO SWEET JANE!

Acts refuse to look backward for fear of being seen as has-beens. But Margo Timmins and the boys jetted us back to what once was and made today that much more comprehensible, convinced us it is all about sound and hits be damned. At least that’s how it used to be.

Furthermore, Cowboy Junkies performed “A Common Disaster,” their other killer. And that’s what everybody agreed they did, KILLED! Proving once again that with no smoke and mirrors, no special effects, a band can evidence humanity that seeps into our pores and makes our lives worth living.

Greetings from Toronto where it’s the same yet different. Where the government helps out with the arts but you’re looking through a big picture window at the United States and unless you cross the border you ain’t gonna get rich, it’s going to be solely about the music.

And there are a plethora of panels and activities, bands and conversations, hanging in the lobby is a full-time job. And you learn just by listening.

Whether it be about what’s selling tickets in Singapore or that a 21 year old woman’s favorite act is Motley Crue.

The truth is there’s too much to know today. You can stay online 24/7 and still be out of the loop. Everybody knows some statistic you don’t, we’re all in it together and up in Canada they don’t complain but put their heads down to work.

And eat.

I just got back from the wildest restaurant in creation. Called Lahore, it’s Pakistani food, kinda like Indian but different. And unlike in L.A. the countrymen were consuming, half the clientele was from Asia, dressed accordingly, and we ate in a tent and it was jumping near midnight and it made me feel fully alive with a desire to travel 200 days a year. Get your passport. Book a trip. The Canadians take after the British, they go. And only with boots on the ground can you understand what’s going on on this mortal coil.

I listened to Michael Gudinski tell me about competing with Live Nation Down Under and I was schooled at Bruce Allen’s feet, hearing a combination of gossip and insight that still has my head twirling.

And Jake met me with a Tim Hortons Nutella donut. And then we went to the Old Crow, a barbecue place in Toronto? But the food was delish!

And I learned about the nuts and bolts of this business while seeing performances by Magic! and other acts that have crossed-over and I’ve been so overwhelmed I haven’t known what to say.

But what I am saying is music is alive and well. Because there’s a group of young ‘uns who care just as much as their forebears, at least up here, where the tunes come first and being rich comes later, if at all.

And that’s the way it should be.

Which is why I love Canada so much.

Canadian Music Week

Lahore Tikka House

rose and sons big crow restaurant

THE FLUTE

It’s right there on the opening cut of their debut album, “My Sunday Feeling.” Forget me-too culture, Jethro Tull was original! Name one other band not only dominated by flute, but one where it was played by its frontman! Sure, you occasionally heard the flute on glorious tracks like the Blues Project’s “Flute Thing,” but no one built a whole band around it!

And where is the flute today…

Don’t we glorify the originals? THEN WHY NOT TULL!

THIS WAS

Purists are right, the debut is the best. Blues-rock with a twist. Completely lost to the sands of time, “This Was” heralded greatness the same way Led Zeppelin’s first did. Check it out and complain. But you can’t! Because “This Was” still sounds fresh and original today, unlike what was playing on AM radio.

STAND UP

Because IT DID!

Everyone keeps regretting the passage of album art. But Tull were KINGS! “Thick As A Brick” featured a complete newspaper, but there wasn’t a teenager alive who wasn’t wowed by the band popping up in the middle of the “Stand Up” gatefold. And this was long before pop-up books were de rigueur.

NO HITS

At first. There was nothing resembling a hit single on the initial LPs. Hell, until “Living In The Past,” long into their career, there really wasn’t a radio hit at all. Isn’t this what we want to celebrate, those who go their own way, who follow their muse in pursuit of musical greatness?

CHRYSALIS

One of the great record companies of all time was built on Tull’s back. No Tull, no Chrysalis. No Blondie, no so much more.

LOOK INTO THE SUN

Because we remember that which touches us, even more than that which moves our bodies. Because we’re only human, we’re confused, we’ve got more questions than answers, and when music is done right it soothes our pain, it rides shotgun as we try to find our way out of quandary and despair.

RIFF ROCK

We celebrate “Smoke On The Water” but not “To Cry You A Song”?

Then again, Deep Purple isn’t in the Hall Of Fame either…

Sure, critics were disappointed in the turn towards the mainstream on “Benefit,” but music is irrelevant unless people listen to it and the truth is “Benefit” was close enough to popular tastes to be widely embraced, it satiated people, and still contained the dark “Sossity You’re A Woman” and the classic “Teacher,” music for headbanging in slow motion.

DEVELOPMENT

We don’t want our artists to just repeat themselves, we want them to take us on a journey, to explore, life is all about the new and “Aqualung” was a jump from what came before.

LENGTH, SCHMENGTH

The two key cuts on “Aqualung,” the title track and “My God,” were 6:35 and 7:11 respectively, and despite the dominance of FM this was not a radio-friendly thing to do. Tull was beholden to the music, not the middleman.

SINGLE SONG ALBUM

How come “Thick As A Brick” has been forgotten? There’s not a baby boomer alive who doesn’t know it, the acoustic intro, the movements…

Sure, Mike Oldfield did it too, with “Tubular Bells,” but that was AFTER!

Furthermore, you had to flip the side in the middle!

CDs play ad infinitum, but no latter day act has duplicated Tull’s feat.

COMEBACK

Years after their initial impact, nearly two decades after their debut, Tull had a huge success with “Crest Of A Knave” and its hit track “Farm On The Freeway,” which was just as enrapturing as the earlier work. Imagine Bruce Springsteen writing something as good as “Thunder Road” today…IMPOSSIBLE!

But despite all the foregoing, Jethro Tull has been EXCORIATED! For stealing Metallica’s Grammy, for making music that fit in no obvious genre.

There’s not a chance in hell the Committee will embrace Tull. Because Ian Anderson is not a warm dude, because the band had huge success across all demos and the Committee can only embrace personal favorites that no one else liked, that “influenced” others. Some bands are so sui generis that they can’t be replicated. Come on, front your band with a flute back then and you’d be dismissed as a Tull imitator!

And Anderson shuffled the lineup. Which makes it harder to believe. The leader is supposed to hide behind handlers who take all responsibility, the band must not be at fault for musical changes. But a band is a living, breathing thing. To expect harmony is to expect Zayn Malik to have a string of number ones.

There’s a chance that decades from now, when rock is truly dead and nostalgia creeps in, when those who denigrate Tull have died, that young kids will discover Jethro Tull and embrace the band the same way the Doors were resuscitated. Because like the Doors, Tull tested limits and was very listenable.

Is that such a crime, to make ear-pleasing music?

Don’t hate the success, love the music.

Tull is deserving.

But if you’re waiting to be anointed you’re playing the wrong game.

Jethro Tull won everything. They don’t need no Cleveland coronation to prove that. But they should get one.

Rhinofy-Why Jethro Tull Belongs In The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame