He died suddenly.

So I’m sitting on a couch in the late afternoon contemplating the Pacific Ocean. It’s gonna be here whether I am or not. Feeling insignificant, I wondered what life was about.

Inside the movers and shakers were jockeying for position. Believing if they just climbed the totem pole higher they’d be happier, their lives would work, as if any of us are important, as if any of us will be remembered, as if anything we do amounts to a hill of beans.

Peter Burns was a plumber. And a handyman. He was married with two girls and he loved prog rock. He could fix anything and took his work seriously. His was a regular presence at Felice’s house. He had his own key. He was like Eldin on “Murphy Brown” but with a different personality.

He was 51.

You don’t plan on dying when you’re 51. As a matter of fact, you don’t plan on dying at all. Unless you’re sick. That’s what the healthy don’t understand, that the sickness beats you down, you cave, you make your peace, you’re willing to go when everybody says to keep a good attitude and continue to fight. That’s all hogwash. Kind of like the big guy in the sky and the afterlife. When it’s done it’s done.

And you don’t know all this until you reach a certain age, when all the cliches come true, when everything your father said plays through your head and you just wish he was still around so you could tell him so, and bond over being his son.

So, it’s true, no one was ever on their deathbed lamenting they didn’t spend more time at work.

And if you don’t do it now, there’s a good chance you won’t ever.

Life is about experiences. And you don’t have to leave home to have some of the best of them. And perspective and attitude are key. But there are so many things we put off into the future, and then it’s too late.

I don’t miss having kids, it’s not the biggest mistake of my life, but from this perch I know they’re key, they center your life, they give it meaning, we’re all just animals here to reproduce.

And I know your money won’t keep you warm at night and you can’t take it with you but it will take you places. For twenty years I’ve been saying I want to go to Glacier National Park before the glaciers melt and I still haven’t been. I’ve got a hankering to go to Monument Valley, but still haven’t checked that box, never mind Death Valley, which is so much closer.

I want to know when I go. I don’t want to die in my sleep. I want to see it coming. I want final resolution in my head… So this was it. This was my life.

But I don’t expect it to happen suddenly, unexpectedly.

My body still aches from that car accident. And it’s a hassle getting my car fixed. But for the first time ever the cliche went through my head, “it could be worse.”

It could. But the money and aggravation triumph. We hate the hassle. And we don’t know anybody with bad luck.

And then we do.

Life is both solid and fragile. It’s amazing how much you can abuse yourself and still live, and how you can die so easily when you least expect it.

And the finality is haunting, creepy.

The truth is you live on in our hearts, we never forget you, but you’re not here, you’re missing out.

My dad never experienced the internet, never mind wireless mobile phones.

Then again, technology makes our lives easier, but it doesn’t make a life.

So I guess I’m gonna be like my dad, like every dad, and tell you not to postpone, that you should eat up life because you’re here for such a short time.

And it can end at any moment.

Like it did for Peter Burns.

We’ll miss you Peter. I’ll never wake up to see your white van outside. You literally can’t be replaced. There’s a hole where you used to be, not only for me and Felice but for so many more. You impacted us, you were there for us, and you weren’t famous.

But famous is just a condition. We’re all just humans walking the planet. Equal. Maybe less in income, but not in outlook and feelings.

And the truth is life makes no sense. You do your best to organize it, to make it linear, believing achievement is everything, but the best laid plans are thwarted. I now know everything is temporary, you make a map of the future but it can get torn up in an instant.

So I’m driving on the 10, to the gas station, worried about the cops and the construction, feeling anxious, and the phone rings.

I never expected to hear Peter Burns died, long before his time.

And now I’m in shock. Kinda stoned. Off-kilter. Knowing that this feeling won’t last forever, but it’s gonna come again. We’re all in a game of musical chairs, and one time the music will stop and I’ll have nowhere to sit and I too will be gone.

It’s the way of the universe.

But it still don’t make sense.

The star of the conference, other than the larger than life Mark Cuban, who delivered beyond expectations, was one Evan Williams, who started Blogger, Twitter and Medium and is a billionaire as a result. It is Evan who inspired me to write my piece about stardom yesterday.

This is the path musicians used to take. Breaking ground, over and over again. It’s why we revere the Beatles, not to mention many lesser lights of the classic rock era. As for today? We get endless repeats of what once was. Something that confounds us is rare.

Williams grew up on a farm in Nebraska, and I don’t know if it’s Cargill size or truck size, but the truth is you can make it from anywhere. Actually, that’s what I took from the conference, you can make it if you really try. The intimate environment humanized the stars, you could see yourself up on stage.

Assuming you wanted to do it for yourself.

This is the opposite of the ethos of the modern music business, where everybody’s always looking for someone else to give them money. Williams funded Medium with millions of his own money, and Jason Kilar provided startup funds for Vessel. Granted, they had the cash, but if you’re waiting for approval, you’re going down the wrong road.

And speaking of cash, I had a great conversation with VC Stewart Alsop, who delineated his asshole theory of founder/CEO, someone who needed to reach the destination, effect change, nothing could stand in their way. These people should not be replaced, they’re the driving force, they’re unstoppable, they’re winners. And Alsop also proffered info on when to invest and when to sell and the head fakes of these companies and it’s fun to speak with smart people as opposed to hustlers who constantly implore you to buy, whose slime covers you and makes you anxious.

Also smart is record producer Rodney Jerkins. Who confronted Tim Westergren of Pandora about songwriter royalties. Westergren passed the question off to the government, but the truth is Irving’s gonna push the online radio service first. If Irving pulls Pharrell and the rest of his writers, Pandora is toast. And people love Pandora, everybody in the room used it, I can’t fathom it, too many tune-outs, too much work for a service that says it’s about eliminating the work.

Westergren believes in radio.

The same way Kevin Tsujihara believes it’s about selling movies. That’s right, ownership. It was positively head-spinning to hear a media titan so lost in the past, as if he was speaking to dumb Wall Street analysts as opposed to people who live in the present. It was so insane it made you want to sell your Warner stock.

The other person who got blowback was Mark Thompson, the CEO of the “New York Times,” the younger folks in attendance laughed how he had no idea how to reach them, that he’d be best off putting his stories on Snapchat. As for me… You’re laying off people when you should be doubling down? Didn’t Amazon create this scorched-earth paradigm? You spend until there are no competitors left and then you dominate. The “New York Times” IS news in America, the only outfit with boots on the ground, but Thompson and the rest of the employees can’t get their heads out of their asses, to see the clear sky coming as opposed to the darkness immediately overhead.

Then again, the whole focus of the conference was money. Almost no creativity, no juice was in evidence. Nick Denton pontificated about his Gawker empire, but you could see working for him would be like working on Maggie’s Farm. Then again, we’ve got no Dylan to point out the truth, everybody wants to fly on  the private jet to a land where they serve man, and if you don’t get the “Twilight Zone” reference…

And Denton’s company is private, which is why he could speak some truth, those working for the man didn’t say anything not heard before. Are you listening Chris Cox and Lucian Grainge? Why show up to say nothing?

Then again, there was Lloyd Braun who spoke for half an hour without saying a damn thing, no one in attendance could figure out what his new platform was, despite Braun getting press in the “Times” and stage time in Laguna Niguel. You see it’s about relationships. That work both ways. The business uses the media and vice versa, that’s how they got all these bigwigs to show up.

Chelsea Handler was funny. And caustic. She barked back when her bio was recited incorrectly.

And Tavi Gevinson was positively riveting. The thing is she’s actually a good actress, she had screen presence in “Enough Said.” And at 18, she wasn’t guarded like the old men. She said how she changed her mind, she revealed insecurities, evidencing charisma all the while. You couldn’t tune her out, unlike some of the business titans. Then again, she’s really a blip on the radar screen. Despite all the press her presence is almost nonexistent. “Rookie” is a minor league player. And that’s all fine and dandy, but if I was her I’d go to college, I’d prepare for the future, but what blew my mind was how little was there, despite all the press, even in the “New Yorker.”

As was the same case with the social media stars. You know, from YouTube and Vine, the ones the “Times” and the rest of the media rave about and tell us will replace today’s famous faces. What a joke. All you have to do is look them up on your smartphone. 2,000 Twitter followers? That’s barely better than a high school student. Story is king, and these momentary stars will disappear unless they create it. Now they’re in the business of train-wreck. As for making a living posting on Pinterest… I almost laughed, you do realize this is going to end, right?

And then there was Cuban. Who was not afraid of taking the unpopular position. He’s against net neutrality. And his rationale was pretty good. And he’s pro television, he believes oldsters lean back and that bits are bits and you may not get your shows on cable, but they’ll survive. Cuban too is a star, he talked a bit about “Shark Tank,” but his honesty and intelligence is what drew you to him.

Then again, Cuban was born in ’58. Not everybody’s wet behind the ears. Experience does count.

And if you want to make it…

You can be like Tyler, The Creator, full of charisma, going by the seat of his pants, riding the crest of the wave, utilizing old media and new to dazzle or…

You can learn how to code, go to Stanford and network.

Or you can sit at home and do something great yourself, because we’re always looking for great, and the truth is there’s very little great out there.

MONEY

We’re impressed when you make it, and continue to make it. The more zeros the better.

CONTINUITY

Momentary blips are not stars, they’re comets. If you don’t last, especially in today’s overloaded, evanescent world, you’re irrelevant.

DO IT YOURSELF

Screw the millennial teamwork/group construct. We want to see individuals triumph, it’s the American Way.

CHARISMA

Necessary in art. You must have that something extra that intrigues us.

ORIGINALITY

If you’re not pushing the envelope, you’re not interesting.

SMART

Is attractive. It’s the essence of the digital world. Dumb is unappealing.

CONFIDENCE

If you don’t believe in yourself, how can we believe in you?

ELUSIVENESS

There must be something we don’t know, that keeps us thinking, coming back, wondering who you really are.

BEAUTY

Is not only external. It’s about being attractive, emanating an essence that is irresistible, that one cannot get anywhere else.

SKIN DEEP

Those who are only external are not stars. They call those people models. They might be famous, but don’t equate fame with stardom, sometimes the two go together, sometimes they don’t. The guy who shoots up the workplace is famous, but he’s not a star. Sorry for the metaphor, but you must realize it’s not about doing anything to make it, but the right thing.

HOT AIR

We live in a substance culture. If there’s no bedrock to what you’re saying, don’t talk.

MULTIPLE BALLS IN THE AIR

We’re not interested in how you’re working the system, we’re interested in the results. It’s not news when you make a deal with a new outlet, it does not burnish your image, it’s not about getting multiple people to pay you, it’s about what you release/create. You think you’re winning by being in the news, but you’re losing, you’re the annoying character who won’t go away.

MULTIPLE TIMES

Once is not enough. Stars do it again and again and again. And they do it different. What came before does not necessarily predict what will be next.

COMPETITION

There is none. Stars are sui generis. There’s no one like them. Which is why we’re drawn to them.

BACKBONE

Stars say no, only amateurs always say yes. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. And don’t be afraid to let people know you won’t do it.

RULE BOOK

There is none. If you’re not creating your own rules, you’re not a star, you’re just a figment in someone else’s constellation, your light can be dimmed by them.

PLATFORM

Platforms come and go, stars remain.

TALENT

You’ve got to have some, but what it is is up for grabs in today’s world. Then again, don’t equate momentary, no-talent performers with a modicum of fame to stars. Just because the media writes about some YouTube or Vine performer who kids are attracted to, don’t believe that person is a star. Chances are they’re on a lark and it won’t last. Stars walk off into the wilderness and keep going and we wake up at some point and start chasing/following them, astounded that they refuse to do it like everybody else and are dropping fascinating crumbs along the way.

Who?

I had no idea myself!

Greetings from Laguna Niguel, where the easterners would move if they caught today’s sunset and sixty plus degree weather. That’s right, I’m here at the Code/Media Conference at the Ritz Carlton, where Walt Mossberg, Kara Swisher and the rest of the refugees from the “Wall Street Journal” have come to make money for themselves. That’s the mantra of the internet…DIY until the big boys take over and it all solidifies.

I just sat through a presentation by Mark Thompson, CEO of the “New York Times,” and it made me want to puke. The problem is these people are so inside their own businesses they can’t see the big picture. The “Times” lays off people and lets stars go all the while being flummoxed by the digital age. They should be doubling down and triumphing like Amazon, employing a scorched-earth policy, eliminating all competitors, instead they keep falling on their sword. Unlike BuzzFeed.

No, not the site, the movie studio.

Huh? Who knew BuzzFeed had a movie studio?

Started with two people, now it’s got 160 and a four acre campus. It’s run by Ze Frank.

I Googled him while he spoke. Turns out he went to Brown and studied science. That’s what they don’t tell you, you have to be smart and well-rounded to win. Of course there are exceptions, but those who learn how to analyze and scope the entire landscape win in the end.

So BuzzFeed makes fifty movies a week. 5,000 so far. You wouldn’t even know you saw them, or who made them, they’re all over YouTube and Facebook and it’s all about playing and learning and/or making money.

That’s what Ze said. You do. You learn or make money. If neither happens, you never do it again.

And there’s no bitching allowed.

Ever notice that bitching has taken over the music business narrative? That all we hear are complaints? No wonder the public shies away, no wonder people don’t want to go in it, we’re our own worst enemy, constantly decrying tech and the public and anybody else who refuses to allow us to do it the way we used to in the pre-internet era.

Of course it’s hard to write a great song. No one cares about a good song. But the truth is access is easier than ever, allowing you to experiment until you get traction.

That’s right, put it up on YouTube and see if it sticks. And if it doesn’t, do it again. And again. And again. And again.

Failure is the route to success. How do you find out what resonates if you don’t even try?

Of course tech has infiltrated the means of production in music. People love being able to make it at home. They just hate that everyone won’t listen and pay them millions.

So BuzzFeed doesn’t do it like the old studios. There’s no separation of functions. Because the younger generation knows how to do everything. They know how to write, shoot and edit. You just set them free. And this is another reason the music business sucks, it’s run by old men who want to keep doing it the old way. If you turned over the business to the under thirties it would be much better, make them the heads of labels… Because when you have a blank slate, nothing is off limits, nothing is off the table.

But one thing that bugs me about the interviews so far is the extreme emphasis on money. Does it scale… How can you have a valuation like Snapchat…

That’s what separates the artists from the businessmen, the artists don’t think this way. If you’re focusing on money, you’re not a real artist. Creation comes first, cash second. If you need money that badly get a real job.

And it’s funny those in attendance are all dressed up.

Then again, people dress up in the music business now too.

It’s all DRESS FOR SUCCESS! Image is everything. Substance is irrelevant. Make a good impression, kiss people’s butts…

This guy Ze Frank created a whole movie studio out of whole cloth. And he knows it’s not like Warner or Paramount, he’s doing something different, for the stream. Furthermore he knows it’s about virality. Subscribers are a fraction of those who see clips, commenters even smaller. We have so much data but know so little about those consuming our wares.

So what I can tell you is if you’re in the creation business you’ve got to be an optimist. You’ve got to see the new tools as an opportunity, not a deterrent. You’ve got to know there’s no center and no cohesion. You’re building your own network, none of the old ones reaches everybody. If you want someone to rescue you you’re toast. Kind of like the “New York Times”… If you’re trying to save what once was, if you’re looking through the lens of your preconceptions, you’re doomed.

It’s a whole new world. Everybody is multitalented with numerous skills. But in music one person sings, another writes and another plays and/or produces. Is that a recipe for success?

No success is about capturing lightning in a bottle. Lorde at home recording off the grid.

It’s about throwing stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks.

Which is why Tom Petty and the rest of the has-beens have got it all wrong, polishing turd albums over years that get a month’s worth of publicity and a weekend’s worth of play. That’s not how you do it anymore. Now you create, marketing is passe, it’s too slow, too old school. It’s about doing as opposed to selling. It’s about finding out who you are, reacting to the reception as opposed to trying to get the public to conform.

There’s not one public, there are many.

And the best and the brightest, those with insight and gumption, are triumphing.

If you’re complaining, you’re losing.

Like the music business.

Code/Media 2015