I love the sensibility!

I love that he’s a nerd, with a brain, but can’t help himself from being uncool. He’s a regular guy, albeit Indian, as opposed to the good-looking charismatic holier-than-thou personages we’re overwhelmed by and feel inferior to on TV and in movies. It’s like we don’t count, even though we’re on this planet, eating and pissing and making passes too. It’s like you’re either rich or good-looking, famous, or you don’t count. Or do you?

I only knew the name, Aziz Ansari, until I heard him on Howard Stern. Whereupon he told a story about hanging with a famous woman who ultimately ignored him, who didn’t respond to his outreach thereafter. Sound familiar? It certainly does to me.

And then he sold out Madison Square Garden.

But I still wasn’t paying attention until I was looking for something to watch on Netflix. I go by the reviews, not by the ones from the critics, but those of the people, I figure enough people see something you get a feel. Although I did try that Maria Bamford series first. Do you get that? I don’t. I loved Patton Oswalt’s character but she was so self-conscious and the plot was so convoluted that I decided not to continue.

That’s when I began with Aziz’s show, “Master Of None.”

It’s imperfect, not fully-baked, it’s a way station to something better. There’s your 10,000 hour rule right there, will the suits give you a chance to get better?

I looked him up on Wikipedia, saw he started at NYU. It’s amazing how long you have to do it to get noticed.

So there’s an Indian sensibility. A minority sensibility. Do you blow the whistle or ride the imperfections, the hate, to a better life? Do you suck it up or do the right thing? We’re all trying to get ahead, but we don’t want to sacrifice our identity, our beliefs, in the process.

And the show feels fully modern. With the texting and tech. Too often art lives in the past, but when we recognize the present we feel comfortable.

And the sexual adventures, shall I say MISADVENTURES, ring true too. Aziz is making an effort, but is so often failing. He’s flailing. Taking advice from fellow nerds. It’s the opposite of the Steve McQueen/Leonardo DiCaprio paradigm wherein women are falling all over the star. And when Aziz can’t get over the fact that Claire Danes, the restaurant critic, actually likes him, wants to be with him, and he keeps telling her he wants to savor the moment…it’s one of the most uncool moments in cinematic history. But it’s real.

Aziz gives hope to nerds everywhere. He’s not beautiful, not unattractive, just kind of…blah, normal, like you and me. He’s got to win on his personality, which he’s constantly shining. But that doesn’t always resonate.

And the show doesn’t always flow. But ideas are brought forth, and they resonate, and that makes you feel so good.

This is what happens when distributors give creators free rein. And it is all about distribution, the show would not be as successful on YouTube, never mind shortened to a Vine. Netflix gives you a platform, your odds of being seen are higher.

Nerds have inherited the earth because we have the tools, we can communicate, and we’re sick and tired of having the uneducated nitwits trounce us. You can’t make it Hollywood if you’re ugly or plain, unless you play ugly or plain, are the butt of the joke. But Aziz doesn’t want to be the butt of the joke.

And I know it’s the second decade of the twenty first century but “Master Of None” has got a seventies sensibility. After the revolution of the sixties. When we knew what happened and were adjusting, when we knew we couldn’t be famous. Whereas today there’s much more desperation, many more sharp elbows, the endless self-promotion is deafening.

“Master Of None” is small work. But it gets stuff right. And in today’s world where we’re all connected yet feel so lonely that’s a revelation.

Watch it!

Master Of None

These are the same analysts who predicted BlackBerry would survive and were surprised when it cratered overnight.

Yes, Steve Jobs built a behemoth. Yes, Apple has everybody’s credit card number. Yes, Jimmy Iovine built a headphone colossus.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN APPLE MUSIC WILL WIN IN THE END!

Let’s start with the canard that there will be competition, that multiple services will carve up the streaming marketplace. Why believe this when Google owns seventy percent of search? When Amazon dominates? Facebook too? The story of the internet is community, we all go to one towering trustworthy portal and every other outlet fights for scraps. Gonna happen in streaming music too.

As for the vaunted 15 million subscribers… Ever think that’s the ceiling? That Apple marketed to all of its customers and most didn’t want it? Which is a fact. Sure, the number of subscribers will increase, but there’s no hockey stick in evidence, none.

Because Apple is not cool.

There, I said it. Bands fade, why can’t brands?

It’s not worth dropping by the Apple Store, there’s nothing you haven’t seen before. And have you noticed the help there is glum and uninformed? As for Angela Ahrendts, can you tell me where the Buy button is on the Apple website? Where there used to be coherence, now there’s chaos, no one’s in charge, no one knows what’s going on, yet the press keeps giving them a pass.

As for the vocal acolytes… They’re working the refs, like the right wingers who’ll clamp down on you whenever you posit a left wing position online. Apple dominates almost nowhere. It doesn’t own the number one computing platform, nor the number one mobile phone OS… All it’s got is a ton of profits and dominance in file sales, yup, at the iTunes Store, an antiquated construct if there ever was one.

Jimmy Iovine failed once before, with the original Beats Music service. Sans a free tier, you’re screwed. Why should it be any different at Apple, because of the brand name? That’d be like saying we’ll pay for that which is free just because a famous company is involved. Study some economics, that’s just plain wrong.

And how and why should a record exec know anything about UIs? It’d be like asking Tim Cook to A&R an LP.

As for mixing files and streams in one interface, did everybody blank on Clayton Christensen? I thought “The Innovator’s Dilemma” was the Silicon Valle bible, can’t anybody in Cupertino read? Apple was protecting its past, which is anathema in tech.

So, Jimmy makes something out of nothing, the high end headphone business was a sideshow. So, he adds some sizzle and gets heroes to hype it. Well, streaming music was not a sideshow, Spotify already had traction. And so far, no no amount of exclusives seems to move the needle, not in any significant way. Hell, Taylor Swift isn’t even on Spotify, and that service is WINNING!

Because Spotify is cool. With lame marketing, it’s all about word of mouth. Subscribers double down and testify, they’re addicted. And they aren’t about to switch loyalties. And their evangelizing gains new adherents. Which is a much stronger bond than someone signing up for Apple Music because they’re so damn dumb they don’t know what else to do.

Amazon couldn’t win in phones, why should Apple win in streaming music?

And Netflix was nobody but so far it remains unchallenged. It’s the upstart people love, however much producers might abhor the payments and near-monopoly.

Pay attention to the newbies, who are nimble, who don’t have to protect legacy assets. Hell, didn’t that help Steve Jobs win? By axing legacy ports thinkers admired his pluck, his move into the future, it turns out those mired in the past lost, Apple triumphed.

I’d bet on Jimmy Iovine if he went back to the music business. He’s a charismatic closer. But he’s out of his depth here. As for the Beats victory, that’d be like saying a manager is great after only breaking one act, when everybody knows the true greats can do it over and over again.

Apple lost its edge. Its mojo. Bands can sell millions and their next project can completely tank. Because times changed, people have moved on.

And, people have moved on from the Tidal stars. It’s a worldwide business, those Tidal owners mean something, but far from everything.

And this is how far Apple has sunk, they can’t make it on their bona fides, they need help. It’d be like Shaggy having a singer on his record, like Wiz Khalifa depending upon Charlie Puth.

And now Spotify is running circles around Apple. Turns out algorithmic curation is better than the human kind, that’s the essence of Discover Weekly.

Apple Music is a me-too product not much different from the Zune, and the refusal of analysts and fanboys to see this is remarkable.

Apple may not buy Tidal, it might gain more subscribers, but dominance is a desire that will almost definitely go unfulfilled.

I could be wrong.

But if you look at tech track records it’s Daniel Ek who’s batting a thousand, not Jimmy Iovine. And if Tim Cook knows anything about tech, even marketing, he’s yet to demonstrate it. It’s as if the band was fronted by Lucien Grainge or some other exec. But no, we want our acts propelled by geniuses who we’ve become enthralled by.

And there are no geniuses at Apple Music.

As for Beats 1, it’s an utter failure. You know how I know why? Because if it was a success THEY’D TELL US!

That’s entertainment business 101.

But all we’ve got is crickets.

There’s no catalog business in tech. It’s all what have you done for me lately. And what Apple has done is deliver a bunch of bunts with absolutely no scoring. And the last time I checked, you need home runs, otherwise there’s no buzz, no future, that’s the story in tech, no one starts slowly.

But somehow this gang that can’t shoot straight will break all the rules and succeed?

Don’t make me laugh.

“House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge”

This book is so good you cannot put it down. You’ll stay up all night reading it, blowing off your networking breakfast as you learn the true rules of life, how the game is really played.

I don’t give a shit if you know nothing about baseball, as a matter of fact, the recitation of famous games and homers, however de minimis, is the worst part of the book. Sure, fans expect it, but it’s completely superfluous, unnecessary. The essence is Lenny’s personality and drive, he’s a true American and we live in America and if you want to succeed you’ll read it, and get it.

Growing up in Garden Grove, California, all Lenny wanted to do was play baseball. This was not an upper middle class denizen whose parents exposed him to multiple options to enrich him and provide opportunities, rather Lenny’s parents worked for the phone company and baseball was his ticket out, and goddamn if he wasn’t going to punch it.

I heard him on Howard Stern. He was mumbling but his stories were so utterly fascinating that when they said he had a book I had to check it out. Even Gary and Jon on the Wrap Up show, they couldn’t get over Lenny’s lingo, insider jargon, “Pearl Harbored,” so many terms you’ve never heard before that you get the gist of that Lenny does not explain.

This is kind of like Sammy Hagar’s autobiography, actually, they’re very similar. Both came from nothing and both struck it big, but the difference is Lenny doesn’t care if you like him or not, which is so refreshing in this Facebook/social media world where accumulating likes is a goal unto itself.

Can you speak your truth?

Few can, they’re ashamed, but after you’ve been to jail and lost everything you know that image is irrelevant, it’s who you truly are that counts.

And Lenny is a loyal guy who works the edges.

He hired a private investigator to get the dirt on umpires.

And for all the geeks talking about data, the Nate Silvers telling us how it really is, Lenny was deep into the numbers long before the internet and “Moneyball,” you play the odds and you play to win, because you want to get paid, otherwise you have to get a day job and report to a boss and that sucks.

DOESN’T IT!

You want to make it, you want to get ahead, what are the elements of success?

PERSONALITY! It’s a PEOPLE world. Stop venerating Mark Zuckerberg and the geeks, they got lucky, but the tech world has firmed up and if you want to make it you’ve got to have relationships, friends, and Lenny had plenty, from all walks of life. Whether it be a department store magnate in Amsterdam or Charlie Sheen.

Lenny makes Charlie come alive, pokes holes in the story being fed by the press. One individual has more power than any news outlet, any security force, assuming you have balls and are willing to sacrifice everything.

Which, of course, Lenny ultimately did. But he got to play the game, and you can’t take it with you, and what we’re enamored of most are the larger than life personalities who are fun to hang out with, who create trouble, the straws who stir the drink.

Like Lenny Dykstra.

Hate the man, but not the story. Which is told better than any music business memoir, any sports bio since Andre Agassi’s, and that’s one of the few good ones.

There are mistakes, some inconsistencies, but you believe this is who Dykstra is, the famous Nails, the hustler who did steroids and crashed his Mercedes yet came through in the clutch.

The first rule of entertainment is engagement. If we want to turn off your record, shut the cover of your book, you’ve already lost.

“House of Nails” is a winner. It’s not literature and for all I know it might not even be fact. But I like a guy who refuses to pull punches, who tells his truth, you’ll marvel at how Lenny excoriates Davey Johnson and so many players, lauding those he believes deserve it all the while.

There’s no buzz, but this book is a winner.

BUY IT!

Apple in Talks to Acquire Jay Z’s Tidal Music Service

It’s talent versus market share, old school versus new, Apple versus Spotify.

Despite a reputation for innovation, we’ve learned the internet is mostly about consolidation, establishing a paradigm and then conquering all comers. Amazon owns shopping, Google owns search, Facebook owns social networking and…what exactly does Apple own again?

It might be the world’s most valuable company, but it got that way via monopolies. First with portable music players. The iPod and FairPlay, remember that, its DRM?, and iTunes ultimately closed out all competitors.

And then came the iPhone and iPad. Which dominated through sheer innovation. Sure, there were smartphones before, but not with this level of sophistication. And the iPad was a whole new category. As for the Watch? Hmm…

That’s right, Apple dominated via hardware.

But it appears we’re evolving into a software world. And Apple is legendary for getting this wrong, with services, the original failed MobileMe and the disastrous first iteration of Apple Music. Google gets it right, Amazon too, but Apple? No.

And sure, the iPhone takes almost all of the handset profits, but the truth is products have a lifespan. No one uses Lotus 1-2-3 anymore, and even Windows is challenged. As for hardware… You’ve got a drawer full of stuff too antiquated to use, even though it might only be a couple of years old.

Apple Music is software.

But it’s run by an old school content guy. Reed Hastings is all about content, but he can talk innovation at the same time. Ditto Jeff Bezos. Jimmy Iovine is all about relationships, leveraging them to his advantage, is that a dead paradigm or will he win again?

Turns out no one cared that Adele’s “25” was not on streaming services. They could wait. This is scarier than the death of physical and files, if people don’t hunger for the latest music, we’re doomed.

Jimmy’s theory is exclusives will bond users to you, that the power of stars is unmatched.

But this didn’t work at Tidal, which you could subscribe to for the same price as Spotify (sure, there was a hi-res tier for $20 a month, but there was a low cost, lo-fi option also.) Which is more powerful, the content or the platform?

Hmm…

Apple’s exclusives haven’t put a dent in Spotify quite yet. But if Apple rolls up the Tidal exclusives too, that would be significant, would it impact Spotify?

Now we get to Elizabeth Warren, now we get to a completely different issue, which may be the death of the Cupertino company. Once you start leveraging your assets to the detriment of others, you’re in trouble, this is what hobbled Microsoft at the end of the century. Should Spotify really have to cough up 30% of its subscription revenue to Apple? That’s not fair in anybody’s book, that’s why the Swedish company is now making noise, with Senator Warren on its side. Apple has already blinked a bit, adjusting App Store payments downward in certain instances, but this looks like a cash grab, and when the public learns of this they side with the upstart, which is Spotify.

Spotify is miles ahead of Apple Music in not only paying subscribers, but usability and discovery and… Because, once again, Spotify is run by techies and Apple Music is run by old school Jimmy Iovine. Spotify has vision, Apple Music is about strong-arming insiders to its advantage, never mind the disadvantage of having no free tier.

So how’s it going to turn out?

I’m betting on Spotify. The history of the Internet is the innovator wins, especially if it continues to innovate. Microsoft couldn’t put a dent in AOL, and then it turned out both were superseded anyway.

We want to be where our friends are. Like Steve Jobs preached, we want usability, which Spotify has in spades compared to Apple Music, even if the former is imperfect. Apple Music LOOKS good, but looks are secondary to functionality.

But if Apple gets exclusives on all Tidal artists, builds from there, it could win. Because he with the hits wins in the end.

So, watch this movie.

And be appalled. That the leveling of the playing field we thought the internet would bring is being eviscerated. It’s like radio payola, independent promotion all over again. Sure, Apple might be paying the stars today, but the result is if you’re an up and comer you can’t get real estate on the home page. And, how long will it be before you pay to get real estate anyway?

Exclusives are not fan-friendly.

Then again, there’s a long history of them in the music business, remember how Best Buy helped put a dent in the indie store world?

We’re going in the wrong direction here folks.

But I will say that Jay Z might accomplish his goal, which is to get a big paycheck. In this case not by aggregating paying customers, but talent.

Fifteen years ago the music sphere was up for grabs, all hell was breaking loose.

Today, the doors are closing, the big boys are winning, power is being consolidated that will rule for years, all in the name of killing upstarts like YouTube and Spotify because they don’t pay enough.

Be careful what you wish for.

“Spotify says Apple won’t approve a new version of its app because it doesn’t want competition for Apple Music”

“Elizabeth Warren says Apple, Amazon and Google are trying to ‘lock out’ the competition”