It’s like having your aunt kiss you at the graduation party. You know, the creepy old one who wears too much makeup and winks at you when you’re in the kitchen… The one who’s unmarried and seems to want to sleep with no one so much as YOU!

I get it Madonna. There’s ageism in the music business. But you can’t complain about it if you don’t ACT your age. You’re acting like a twenty year old. With all these publicity stunts, getting the brain dead press to fawn over you, because you give them access.

You can’t have a hit. So damn what. Everybody knows Top Forty is for kids. Like Trix. And now, with the internet, you can appeal to a different demo. But not you! Once upon a time you were a leader, now you’re running after a train that has left the station when everybody else is taking Uber.

What, did you think Coachella was the VMAs? Famous for train-wreck moments? Didn’t we already establish the audience is the star today? And if you walked the premises, youngsters would say…eewww!

But you’re backstage, living your hundred million dollar lifestyle. You want nothing to do with the public but you want it to have everything to do with you. Want people to care, get down into the pit with them!

But you’ve got to start with great music.

You made it in the MTV era, where it was all about visuals. Hell, you pushed it to the limit with that sex book. But now, more than ever, it’s about music. Does anybody know what Milky Chance even looks like? You’ve got it backward.

Furthermore, publicity is empty without a core product. Just look at tech. Hyped stuff dies every day. Actually, in tech you lead with the product. Which has to be honest and fulfilling for the user.

And I’d comment about your plastic surgery but you’d tell me how hard it is to be a woman in this society.

I’ll counter with how hard it is to be ANYBODY in this society! Where income inequality reigns and everybody’s out for themself.

But the good thing about the connected world is you can connect with your brethren. Outsiders can bond. You used to be a champion for outsiders, now you’re just a champion for yourself.

And you’re creeping us out.

So you’ll get ink for a day. No one will care tomorrow. And if anybody remembers, they’ll laugh at you, as opposed to when you writhed on the stage with your Boy Toy belt and we couldn’t believe you were testing limits.

Everybody has a window, especially in pop. Them’s are the rules.

You had a longer run than most.

And if you truly want to have a hit, call up Max Martin.

Then again, that’s what Taylor Swift did, and she may block you.

But even Ms. Swift’s era is gonna end. Because those are the pop rules. She could have been forever in country, but in the mainstream spotlight, we churn ’em out and burn ’em out. We know too much about you and then we don’t want to know anything at all.

So be like the rest of the has-beens. Go on tour at inflated prices playing to those who knew you when.

And if you want to grow up, emulate Billy Joel. He’s let himself age, he’s gained weight and has no hair. And he’s honest and believable.

And he puts out no new music.

BECAUSE NO ONE CARES!

This only works if they get rid of CDs and files.

Here’s the skinny… Jimmy Iovine and the major labels are conspiring to get rid of free. Not only the free tier on Spotify, but YouTube too. Apple writes a check to the labels on 40 million subscribers for years, whether they reach that number or not, and everybody pays for music.

Or do they?

This is why the European Commission is investigating Apple.

Brilliant end run or delusional rearguard effort? A way to make a boatload of bucks or a road back to piracy?

Spotify kills piracy, that’s been proven.

Once upon a time there was piracy in the cable business. You could steal not only HBO, but the whole damn service. Because the cable could be split and the way they prevented you from getting premium channels was to mount filters in the chain, which anybody with a screwdriver could then remove and get HBO, Showtime and Cinemax, et al, for free. I knew almost no one paying full price, if at all, for cable in the eighties. But everybody pays now, because cable went DIGITAL!

You can’t steal it. The premium channels are scrambled. Maybe some superhacker along the lines of a young Steve Wozniak can figure it out, but mere mortals can’t, so everybody pays for cable, at least until recently, when the internet allowed you to cut the cord and you could sign up for standalone HBO.

Believe me, the content providers are up in arms. At least the cable companies are selling internet, which they just jack up the price for in order to meet their numbers. But when we go a la carte, and the game has begun, marginal channels will disappear, the cable companies will refuse to pay for them.

And people have been refusing to pay for music for fifteen years. All that hogwash that piracy increases sales, what a crock that was. But can we ever get people to pay again?

If we get rid of the aforementioned CDs and files. Renting an evanescent product, there’s no there there. But as long as there’s a CD, as long as there’s an iTunes Store file, piracy will reign.

Is the music business willing to kill the CD and file?

Of course not, because they’re not in the business of taking big risks. Shut down YouTube and people will just use BitTorrent or IM or hard drive/USB stick to swap, assuming they want it at all. That’s what’s ignored, the promotional value of all these services. Who’s gonna check it out if they have to pay for it?

A lot fewer people.

Some will stick with Pandora. Back in the pre-internet era most people did not buy music regularly, radio was enough. Is everybody going to sign up for a music subscription?

Certainly not if there are files to transfer. But what if there are no files? Who is going to capture a stream and then transfer it? It’s doable, but a huge pain in the ass. Convenience argues for payment.

And payment could be baked into a cable or cell phone bill, so it doesn’t feel like you’re paying.

Now you know why Jimmy wanted a lower price. He was right.

Is he right about killing piracy/getting everybody to pay?

First and foremost, he’s leveraging his industry relationships for exclusives. So you’ve got the Apple brand and the content and you can kill Spotify if it’s got no free tier.

This is about money. It’s got nothing to do with art. That insane Taylor Swift post about respecting art is b.s.

Jay Z is reacting to Apple with Tidal.

And we’re sitting home wondering if our whole world is gonna change.

Never underestimate the ability of fat cats to stack the deck, to put their thumb on the scale to their advantage. The recorded music business has lost half its revenue and it wants it back, and fast. Labels don’t care what artist hits, whether anybody hits, as long as they get paid.

This is their strategy.

You’ve been forewarned.

You go to see the people not the bands.

Welcome to the twenty first century, wherein concert promoters are sick of giving all the money to the bands so they’ve established their own brands, i.e. the festival…Coachella, Lollapalooza, Bonnaroo, Outside Lands, ACL…

Does it matter who plays?

Not really. It’s a matter of trust, as Billy Joel would say (is he going to headline next year?) The concertgoer trusts the promoter won’t cheap out and will book the best talent available. And the promoter trusts that the concertgoer will pay a lot of money to not only enter, but survive, on food, water, tchotchkes…

It used to be different. Way different. The concert promoter made the lion’s share. But then Peter Grant realized every Led Zeppelin concert would sell out, without any advertising or promotion, so why should the promoter take such a healthy fee?

Ergo the 90/10 deal.

Which evolved into the 95/5 deal.

Which evolved into the Jimmy Buffett deal, wherein Mr. Margaritaville got more than 100% of the ticket gross, because the promoter would make so much money on alcohol.

But they came to see Jimmy. No one cared who promoted the show. Jimmy was the attraction.

But Coachella is the attraction, it supersedes the bands, which is why Goldenvoice/AEG is having such a healthy payday.

Not that the bands aren’t either. But once you pay them seven figures, once you give them more than they get at a private, once you tell them you can live without them, there’s only so much you can charge.

But every year you need new headliners.

But the headliners can’t come back, not for quite a while. Whereas a superstar band can tour all year, or every summer, like Dave Matthews. But Coachella is bigger than any one band.

And what do you get when you attend?

A smattering of music, both new and old, you can sample the smorgasbord and talk like an expert for months, if not the entire year. You’ve seen the up and coming acts, as well as the superstars.

But even more, you’ve seen your brethren.

Coachella is a rite of passage for Southern California teens. If their parents saw what they were wearing on the polo grounds, they’d rescind their driving privileges, maybe even take back their mobiles. Coachella is where you go to be free. Movies are only a couple of hours, Coachella is a whole WEEKEND!

And you see your friends. And meet new people. And today you can stay in touch, with modern communications techniques, with social media.

Oldsters go to show they’re still hip. Or that they’re better than everybody else. That’s what the VIP experience is all about. It’s not really VIP, the real VIP is backstage, but few get that. Still, VIPs are in a walled garden with better food and they can feel good about themselves, the same way they do when they buy a Mercedes or a $17,000 Apple Watch. And did you ever hear someone with VIP access who didn’t tell you they had it? No, only a true insider is humble that way.

And we live in the Me Century. Everybody’s not only building a shrine to themselves on social media, they’re dunning you to pay attention. Do you really think they’re gonna care that much about the bands? Hell, the main attraction at Coachella is the Sahara Tent, where you bump bodies and dance, where the DJ is just the grease. It’s about letting your flag fly, not your freak flag, that’s so sixties, but your fashion flag, how you dress and accessorize is key at Coachella.

And Lollapalooza, and Bonnaroo and…

This is a big change. The concert promoter is no longer at the ass end of the business, feeding off the efforts of the record label, rather the promoter owns an ASSET! Which will drive up your stock price, or get you a good payday if you sell. Isn’t that how ACL got such a good deal from Live Nation? And Electric Daisy too?

And at first Coachella was a financial dud.

Because it takes time to grow a festival. The bands come and go, but the festival brands endure, everybody wants to be Glastonbury.

And now we’re in the heyday of festivals. Kind of the classic rock era of festivals. Where everybody wants to go, where many are launching and a surprising number are profitable. And the same bands appear everywhere, proving that it’s about the festival, not the acts.

Not that this is a bad thing.

But when you read about the performances at Coachella… Know that you’re not getting the real story. That’s not what’s truly happening. The reviewers are deep up their butts. They’re believers. Whereas the attendees are constantly moving, constantly checking each other out, knowing that acts come and go, but Coachella is FOREVER!

It was the last track on “Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass),” the Rolling Stones greatest hits set with the cover photograph I thought was shot in England but turned out to be L.A.

And “Play With Fire” itself was cut in Los Angeles, but I didn’t learn this until years later, to me it sounded like nothing but England, with the references to the locales.

I hadn’t purchased a Stones set sooner. I couldn’t afford it. There was stuff I needed more, and that’s what you did when someone lasted but you never started, you purchased the greatest hits set. And greatest hits sets are ultimately disappointing, they contain what you want, but not what you need. The albums have context. And they’re all available online now, but back then you had to find someone who owned them and be at their house with time to kill and it was always so weird hearing it for the first time because the truth is albums reveal their greatness over time, back when we had time, when albums counted, when music was scarce and the people who made it truly believed they were making a statement, when music was the highest calling on earth.

Now she gets her kicks in Stepney
Not in Knightsbridge anymore

It localizes it! That’s how you end up becoming universal, by telling your own personal truth. The more specific you are the more we can relate, because we have our own references. And I went to day camp in Stepney, Connecticut, was it named after the English burb? And now I know Harrods is in Knightsbridge, but everything I knew about London in 1966 was from records.

Well, you’ve got your diamonds and you’ve got your pretty clothes
And the chauffer drives your car

No one had a chauffer in the U.S. There was wealth overseas we could only dream of. Unlike today, there was no obvious class system in the States.

Your mother she’s an heiress, owns a block in St. John’s Wood

There’s that specificity once again, where exactly was this? Was it dark and haunting like the music? Back before all movies were in color and all the English musicians testified about the rain?

Now you’ve got some diamonds and you will have some others
But you’d better watch your step girl
Or start living with your mother

WHAT? Music was all about liberation, separation, there was a youthquake going on and he was talking about sending her back to her MOTHER?

There was an inherent danger.

And the Rolling Stones were dangerous. I know that sounds laughable today, but so it was. And unlike today’s musical gangsters they weren’t going to kill you, but they were going to CORRUPT you!

And that’s why Mick was warning her…

So don’t play with me, ’cause you’re playing with fire

Hmm… Aren’t we supposed to revere the rich? Aren’t we supposed to let people make their own decisions?

Not back then. Rockers were paramount. And bad boy Mick was warning her. And you know what happens when you tell someone you don’t need them, when you tell them they’re not up to the challenge…they’re drawn ever closer.

And we were.

We were addicted to the radio.

We wanted to be like the bad boys.

Because they got all the girls.

And our parents were clueless, they were anything but best friends.

And there were a ton of hits on “High Tide and Green Grass,” even “Satisfaction” and “19th Nervous Breakdown,” but the one that creeped me out, that made me feel the band was different from me, that made me want to get ever closer, was “Play With Fire.”

So don’t play with me, ’cause you’re playing with fire

They didn’t beg us to like them. They seemed not to need us.

But we needed them.

We got infected by their music and it changed our lives.

It changed the culture.

That’s the power of one record.

That’s the power of “Play With Fire.”

Rhinofy-Play With Fire