I forgot to tell you I went to the Viking Ship Museum!

I’m back in Santa Monica and I feel like I’m still moving at 600 miles an hour. You know, that feeling where your body’s all tingly and you’re afraid you’re gonna lose your balance?

I started early this morning in Oslo. Our takeoff was delayed by an hour because there was a bag on board sans passenger, and that’s a security no-no. Took them all that time to locate it in the hull and remove it and when we landed in London the assembled multitude jumped out of their seats and surged towards the front. I’m used to Europe being so civilized! But not in this instance. Getting up before the plane reaches the gate is a taboo in the U.S., but I’m still learning about national cultures. Most fascinating was the description of Finland. To a man (and woman!) everyone in Oslo testified about the weirdness of the Finns. How they were different from the rest of the Scandinavians, that they were more like Russians, their ancestors came from the east as opposed to the west. It wasn’t a put-down, everyone marveled at Finland’s art and architecture, and it was remarked that the number one gig in that country was being a school teacher, it’s just when it came to the music business there everyone threw their arms up in the air, they couldn’t understand it! I’m all about seeing the sights, but this trip convinced me how important it is to interact with the people, to get their viewpoints.

And the rush on the plane wasn’t the only cultural difference.

I went to take a pee and there was a giant photo of a woman in chains, that’s right, her ankles were locked up, it filled the space above the urinals. You couldn’t get away with this in the U.S., we take our treatment of women very seriously. And speaking of women, as I was relieving myself I heard a high-pitched voice on the phone. It truly flummoxed me. It was definitely a woman, but it sounded like she was right there in the men’s room with me…

SHE WAS!

Although the urinals were around the corner, not behind a door, just a left turn at the end of the lavatory, sinks were shared. And I didn’t remember this the second time I took a pee, for I was rounding the corner, zipping up, and…

Yesterday I was interviewed by Knut Schreiner at an IFPI event. That’s their RIAA, but it’s not only limited to Norway… Knut is the guitarist for Turbonegro. They play festivals every summer, but the audience just wants to hear the old tunes. So Knut went back to school to get a degree in sociology, and his questions were the most intelligent I’ve ever encountered, each densely packed with twists and turns and I could have just sat there and listened to him. And Knut is a fan, they’re all fans. We discussed our favorite shows, he told me he was going to see Crosby, Stills & Nash. Funny how the further you are from the source the more you are fascinated by it.

And then I got into a deep discussion with the assembled multitude about Spotify.

They told me the ratio was 80/20. That’s right, 80% paid to 20% freemium!

Now it all started back in 2009, before YouTube gained traction. And Norway is a rich economy, where they told me people like to pay. But the execs were gangbusters about freemium, because they saw it worked, people converted.

And Spotify killed piracy dead, IFPI’s research said only 1% of the music audience now acquired their music primarily via piracy.

Furthermore, Petter told me Universal paid out its largest royalties in history last year. But still, the musicians are bitching, just like they are over here. You see players can’t adjust to the new game, where it’s all about what’s listened to. Used to be the sale was the transaction. Now, it’s the listen. Furthermore, people are listening to Led Zeppelin and the hits of yore, which didn’t used to generate much of an income at all. Not that catalogue dominates streams, it’s mostly pop. But is that Spotify’s fault? The label’s fault? What we seem to forget is we never go back to the past. To agitate for the old paradigm is fruitless. You must embrace the new. And in Norway the royalties keep going up, bottom is in the rearview mirror.

Not that Norway is exactly like America. They’re so technologically advanced! They transfer money to each other via their mobiles. The CFO of Universal told me he didn’t carry cash, he opened his wallet to show me, not a kroner there. Wait, there was a 20 Euro note, which surprised him. He pays with his card or his phone. Terje Hakonsen showed me his credit card with built-in wireless, you just wave it and the charge happens. And all bills are paid via wireless terminals, you slide in your card and enter your PIN. Do you know your credit card’s PIN? I couldn’t buy something at a drugstore in Toronto because even though my card does have a chip, I’ve got no PIN! United States, greatest country in the world, never forget that.

Not that Norway was always ahead. The Warner MD told me he first encountered McDonald’s when he visited a friend living in Indiana. He was used to one TV station and one hour of pop music radio a week, and this was the eighties! Now there we’ve got the rest of the world beat. Illustrating no country is the best.

And I kept hearing about the German CD market, how it was failing, and streaming had little traction. I couldn’t understand this! Germany, isn’t it Europe’s paragon of commercial excellence? But I was told Germany is a late adopter when it comes to technology. And that Germany loves Norwegian music, that its only native sounds are metal and EDM.

And I believe what they said about Germany because it was in the Franzen book!

I finished it on the plane today. There was that writer who claimed “The Goldfinch” was “Harry Potter” for adults. “Purity” is not. “Purity” is America at its best. An artist not concerned about monetary reward who is writing his own truth. The book is laden with aphorisms. There’s one dollop of wisdom after another. About relationships, the internet and life itself. But I doubt “Purity” will have a deep impact upon the culture, because it’s dense and difficult to read for anybody whose vocabulary is challenged. If only we had a record as good as “Purity,” people would turn off their televisions and video game consoles and we’d all be sound crazy. This is the way it used to be, when records were about testing limits. Franzen ain’t great with arc, he’s not perfect with plot, but I haven’t read a better analysis of today’s world, an evocation of today’s reality, from internet porn to fame to money to… Read it.

So back to the Viking Ship Museum. We went there after seeing Kon-Tiki and the Fram. The Viking ships are huge! And they’re a thousand years old! They rowed to Egypt. You can’t fathom it, you can’t put it in a box, you wonder if it’s all a hoax. But there the ships are…

When I left Oslo it was raining.

And in L.A. it’s now in the eighties.

And my body is somewhere in between.

And it feels good to be home.

But as soon as I put my foot down on terra firma…

I wanted to be back in Oslo.

Ah, the conundrum of life.

“My baby’s got me locked up in chains”

Oseberg Viking ship

“Purity,” by Jonathan Franzen

This song has been going through my head ever since I heard Gary Richrath died.

R.E.O. Speedwagon was just another faceless Midwestern band slogging it out on the road until “Roll With The Changes” emerged on the airwaves in ’78 and convinced me the band was not only a comer, it had arrived.

I don’t care what anybody says about Detroit, Cleveland or all those towns in Texas with radio acolytes, the truth is the best rock and roll radio of the seventies existed in Los Angeles, California, where there were fully five rockers on the FM dial, it was almost equivalent to today’s satellite radio, if you didn’t like a tune you could just push the button and find another one more ear-pleasing.

On the left-hand of the dial, just above the public radio stations, was KNX, the soft rock outlet. And if you think wimpy rock sucks, you’ve never heard Steely Dan’s “Dirty Work,” which was a station staple. In the seventies we were open to anything and everything, at least until disco came along and rained upon our parade. And we loved James Taylor, J.D. Souther, the Eagles, a bunch of people whose reps have not made it into the twenty first century but soothed our hearts and got us laid way back when.

On the other end of the dial was KROQ, which was a completely different outlet than it is today. KROQ was free-form, back when even WNEW’s playlist had tightened up. You’d hear not only Elvis Costello and Joe Jackson, but Deaf School and Flash and the Pan. The deejays boasted of a helicopter that didn’t exist and it truly was the best damn station extant, it’s just that it was trumped by the success of the ROQ of the 80’s format Rick Carroll ushered in after the decade turned.

And just a twitch to the left of KROQ was KWST, the Led Zeppelin station. It was hard rock all the time, before hard was so headbanging that most people didn’t care for the sound.

And right smack dab in the middle of the dial, right next to each other, were KMET and KLOS. The latter survives, but it was the former that dominated. KMET was truly the heartbeat of Los Angeles. And if you made it on KMET, you made it everywhere. All the bands you thought you hated you ultimately found out you loved on Saturday night, when you drove around the city and heard Foghat and the rest of the high energy rockers who owned the playlist on the weekend. Acts like R.E.O. Speedwagon.

We didn’t go for that corn-fed rock. Hell, Rick Nielsen and Tom Peterson were in the unsuccessful Fuse before they reformed as Cheap Trick. But back then, as it still goes today, if you found the right track…

The first one that penetrated the airwaves was “Ridin’ The Storm Out,” back in ’74. You could drive cross-country, which I did many a time, and you’d hear it from city to city. This Gary Richrath composition earned a place in the radio firmament, but you nodded your head and endured it, you didn’t search it out, you weren’t eager to hear it, but it still satisfied. Kevin Cronin wasn’t even the lead singer!

But years later Cronin was back in the band and then came “Roll With The Changes” in ’78.

After that R.E.O. Speedwagon became superstars. There was this little track called…”Keep On Loving You.”

I hated it.

Another rock band gone wimpy to get fans, to garner money and success. But the truth is, at this distance, I can appreciate “Keep On Loving You”‘s greatness. Come on, what an anthemic chorus! You can sing along and enjoy it even if you don’t speak English!

And the album it emanated from, 1980’s “Hi Infidelity,” spawned even more hits. “Don’t Let Him Go” was closer to the sound of yore, despite the pedestrian lyrics, but even though Mr. Richrath wrote “Take It On The Run,” and probably lived on it until he died, it made me puke back then and still does now. I hate those who pander.

But it didn’t work for long. The follow-up to “Hi Infidelity,” “Good Trouble,” spawned a hit with the second-rate “Keep The Fire Burnin'” but the truth is the track was formulaic, the band was trying to imitate its successful sound. And after that… There was one more hit, the execrable “Can’t Fight This Feeling” in 1985, but by this time the band’s hard core rock audience had completely abandoned them and soon their newbie fans moved on to the next flavor of the moment and the band was dead in the water, proving you should play the game, give people what they want, at your peril.

But a strange thing happened as the years passed by. R.E.O. couldn’t sell a record, but they’d had such big hits they were now in demand on the nostalgia circuit, along with their brethren in dreck Styx, and they’ve been touring every summer since, thrilling the fans and making coin forevermore.

That’s right, most rockers ended up hating R.E.O. and Styx. Both of whom started out dedicated to their principles and then sold out. But both of the bands’ hits sound good today.

But not as good as “Roll With The Changes.”

As soon as you are able
Woman I am willin’

But really it’s all about what comes before this, that infectious piano riff and Gary Richrath’s screaming guitar, you’re instantly hooked.

So if you’re tired of the same old story
Oh, turn some pages

Come on, isn’t that the rock and roll ethos? Moving on, taking chances, embracing the new?

I’ll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes

Are you ready? Your friends are, they’re going to lead you along. You’re gonna get high as Kevin Cronin takes a rest and Gary Richrath positively wails, from back when guitars were king and we played our air axes in front of the mirror.

Keep on rollin’
Oh yeah
Keep on rollin’
Oh, roll with the changes

Oh, baby, you got to roll with the changes. Kevin was singing about love, only most people enamored of this cut didn’t have girlfriends, but this music filled the space, gave them hope, kept them alive until courage and luck paid dividends.

There was so much energy, so much exuberance, and I don’t want to understate the power of Neal Doughty’s keyboard work, without it the track doesn’t soar, but…

Rock and roll is a guitarist’s game. And despite being written and sung by Kevin Cronin, “Roll With The Changes” is Gary Richrath’s track. Another American who saw the Beatles and decided the only way to be happy in this life was to be in a band, who practiced in his bedroom until he was the hottest player in his town, and then went on the road to hone his chops and convince everybody else.

And it was with “Roll With The Changes” that R.E.O. Speedwagon sealed the deal. They grabbed us by the balls, took charge of our heads and hearts and made us pay attention.

This week another soldier died. He was a member of the rock and roll army which ruled this country for years, back when we were all addicted to the radio and music still drove the culture.

We’ve turned some pages. Some are still with us, some are not.

But for those of us button-pushers who spent all our money on music…we can’t get the sound out of our head, we still believe.

Tonight I’m rolling with the changes.

And there are millions of people who know exactly what I mean.

Rhinofy-Roll With The Changes

Yesterday I was at the National Gallery looking at the paintings and I wondered if creativity stemmed from bad weather, sitting inside on a rainy day letting your mind go free… I just had an hour to kill, the museum was close by, and I walked into the halls and I was brought back to college, memories flowed through my brain, of art history courses and black moods and I was inspired in ways I rarely am in Los Angeles where the weather is nearly perfect and life is easy. Does great art come from a hard life?

Actually, I heard today that life in Norway is pretty easy, that members of the populace are agitating for a six hour workday, and it’s all because of the oil, which was discovered in 1971 and turned Norway from the poor relation Scandinavian nation into one of the richest countries in the world. Taxes are still high, fifty percent if you make a top income, but there’s free health care and little crime and everybody’s about lifestyle, it’s the anti-America, where we’re all working like rats in a cage.

But as you know, the price of oil has caved, and the kroner has lost 40% of its value versus the dollar, prices are still expensive for Americans, but Norway now has to think about its future. Sweden has tech. Finland is a bastion of art and architecture. What comes for Norway next? Could it be music?

I spent the morning at Music Norway, where they’re investing in bands playing in the U.S., U.K. and Germany. They want to spread the word. All I know is it comes down to a hit song.

And speaking of songs, no one’s bitching about streaming in Norway, physical is dead, MP3s have waned, they’re living in the new reality and the conversations are completely different than in America. How can you get people to stream a track, how can you infect playlists, how can you advertise on Google and Facebook and… Those playing the home game believe the major labels are incompetent nincompoops, but that’s an out of date viewpoint, it’s the majors who are making the breakthroughs today, because they want to make money.

So I left L.A. in a heat wave that had my landlady talking about end times. Living in California has become weird. There’s no water and constant conflagrations and it’s never been this bad before. Hell, it’s supposed to heat up again this weekend…

But in Oslo it’s cold and rainy. Like I said, it reminded me of the east coast, growing up in Connecticut, college in Vermont. And in the midst of a downpour Jerry took me to the Kon-Tiki museum.

That was a head-turner. They had Kon-Tiki and the Ra, the boats/rafts used to sail across the Pacific and the Atlantic, and they were both bigger than you thought they were but still so small. Who would take such a risk? A Norwegian, they’ve got a history of exploring.

Even more fascinating was the museum next door, which contained the Fram, a boat which went to the North Pole and South Pole and back again. Jerry knew every detail of Nansen and Amundsen, the explorers, we didn’t even study them in school, but the Norwegians are proud of their heritage. I was stimulated by the information, I could live in a museum.

And yesterday I went to the Spotify office. No, I don’t make any money from the company, I’m not a scumbag, getting paid to hype crap, but their playlist-maker reached out and I decided to go to lunch (pressed duck, excellent!) But before that we hung out in the office. Where an ad salesman brought up a webpage for the Norwegian sovereign fund, check it out:

Norges Bank Investment Management

It’s kind of like that billboard on Santa Monica Boulevard, you know the one, it shows the number of people who’ve died from smoking this year. Only in this case, you’re seeing the value of a fund that owns a huge chunk of Spotify and is the social security for Norwegian citizens.

Then I heard about this city on the fjord, on the west coast of the country, that was in danger of disappearing from a tsunami. They made a movie about it, “The Wave.” You see there’s a crack in the mountain, and when the rock finally lets loose and falls into the sea the population has to run like hell up the hill to survive. I wonder if they’ll play the Pink Floyd instrumental when it transpires. Gives you some perspective, when your life is in danger from nature.

And did you know Spotify bans its playlist makers from talking to labels? Furthermore, Axel, my lunch date, is famous for his playlist Morning Coffee, when people find out he constructed it they’re impressed, they love it. I don’t know if in the future we’ll pick our tracks or employ playlists, this is just one more thing that needs to be figured out on the forefront of streaming. No one knows exactly what the future holds. We live in a pop-dominated world, you may say otherwise but the label bigwigs told me that’s what dominates, not that you need to hear it from them, just look at the chart, pop’s squeezing out the marginal genres. But will a new sound come along and wipe the slate clean, get us all listening to something new, as the Beatles once did?

That’s the power of the individual. One person can change the world.

Today I had a long conversation with Terje Hakonsen. Now THAT’S a rock star!

You may know him as the guy who refused to participate in the Olympics. You know, the world’s best snowboarder who would have cleaned up in ’98 in Nagano but refused to go.

He was mad that the International Olympic Committee co-opted his sport, imposing its rules and eviscerating snowboarding’s culture.

That’s what we’re looking for, independent thinkers who can say no, who can go against the flow.

Terje is still going against the flow. He’s trying to push snowboarding into new territory. By changing the halfpipe, adding new features, bringing back the quarter pipe, riding a snowskate, which is a snowboard with no bindings. This lanky dude in a ball cap is what the rock stars used to be like. Living free from the office. Following his dream. Going out on the hill for the joy of it, you remember joy, right? We haven’t had that in music for a very long time.

Living in a country of five million you can’t just thump your chest and say how great you are, you have to divine context, see your place in the world, choose your entry point and execute. Which is one of the reasons America is falling behind, we’re so self-congratulatory we refuse to see our flaws. USA! USA! But if you’re not lifting up the carpet, if you’re not checking rulers and watching the parking meters, you’re falling behind. We used to look up to musicians as leaders. Now they’re just business people, who are a lot poorer than the techies, we wish they would realize their power is in their art, that money gets you far, but art will get you farther.

I didn’t come to Oslo to learn all this.

But I did.

P.S. Thor Heyerdahl set fire to his raft Tigris to protest war in East Africa. Are you willing to sacrifice your mission for a higher purpose?

P.P.S. Experts said Kon-Tiki wouldn’t last, that the ropes would break under the strain long before land was reached. Turns out the ropes wore grooves into the wood and the raft survived. I’m not telling you to go on a death mission, but if you’re not willing to challenge conventional wisdom, if you always defer to “experts,” don’t expect to experience any breakthroughs.

P.P.P.S. The Fram had a piano. Music goes everywhere.

P.P.P.P.S. Oslo has Uber. And everybody seems to have an iPhone, without a case. Once upon a time Norway had one TV station and one hour of rock music on the radio a week, up until the eighties, in fact. But then the oil came and everything changed. America is a wealthy nation, but not enough of the money trickles down to the underclass. We’re like a team with all captains. And it’s hard to win with so few people on the field.

P.P.P.P.P.S. They tell me it doesn’t really get that cold, and the days aren’t really that short. But they live here, this is their homeland. Everybody comes from somewhere and it’s hard to break ties and most return to what’s comfortable. And I want to live in L.A. But getting out of one’s comfort zone, experiencing new places, is so stimulating and educational, and he who gives up learning is dying. What kind of crazy world do we live in where Norwegians are better informed than Americans? One in which the internet has flattened the globe, where information is at the fingertips of everyone. Be curious. Question authority. Don’t put your hopes in false gods. Look for truth, don’t be dazzled by image. You’re an individual, you matter. What you do influences others. Embrace life. Feel free to consume, but the rewards go to those who create.

Why is this a story?

Reviewing his latest album, whose name eludes me, is like writing about a blank CD. Because no one can hear it.

I get the train-wreck value. With the diminutive one and his constant anti-internet/technology blathering. But why give him ink at all? Why not say NEXT and move on?

If a tree falls in a forest does it make a noise?

If a has-been releases an album exclusively on Tidal does it matter what it sounds like?

Access and attention, these are the two concepts you must keep in mind.

Imagine being un-Googlable. It would be like you didn’t exist. No one could find you. With phone books having fallen by the wayside, no one would be able to get in touch with you you didn’t already know, assuming they remembered your number and e-mail address. Would you like this? Some treasure anonymity, but the youngsters who drive this culture and are the future of this world are all about social, creating bonds online. They can be criticized for their lust for fame, but at least they understand the game. Prince is so detached from reality he’s one step away from the mental hospital. And like other train-wrecks before him, from Sid Vicious to Amy Winehouse, we refuse to send him to rehab, we just follow their actions as they self-destruct.

And in a world overrun with media, attention is everything. The enemy is obscurity, not a theoretical non-paying public. Where did that start anyway? If the public expected everything for free people wouldn’t pay for concert tickets. And it turns out they are paying for music, via streaming, and if you don’t understand that you’re not in the game. If your Spotify royalties suck it’s because not enough people are listening. Sure, the label may be taking the lion’s share, and not enough people are paying, but the truth is streaming is a train that’s leaving the station everybody is going to get on. And then it won’t matter if you sell a record, but if people listen to it. And you’ll be competing against Led Zeppelin and the Beatles, who didn’t used to get paid after the first sale but will forevermore. This is a good thing, we want to reward those who are actually listened to. But in this era of chaos those being left out are lamenting it publicly and those who don’t understand it keep demonstrating their ignorance.

Like Prince.

The truth is, Mr. Nelson, no one wants to listen to your new music. You utilized YouTube recently and your tracks sunk soon. Because you just can’t write a hit. And that’s all we’re interested in these days, hits. Except for the hard core, every old act has fans, but that does not mean the rest of us should care.

But if you do something as good as the new Bieber, which is astoundingly good, beyond expectations, if not great, then it matters. Assuming we can hear it.

But that’s what’s wrong with old media, no editorial voice. These are the same people who are so busy printing both sides of the story that facts are thrown out the window. How about printing the number of Tidal subscribers at the beginning of your review. How about stating that Prince has had so many attempted comebacks that those who used to care no longer do. How about reviewing tracks instead of albums, creating playlists categorized on what we must hear, shouldn’t hear and might be interested in. It’s this refusal to enter the future that makes me cheer on the internet news sources. That is when they’re not trolling for link-bait. Then again, BuzzFeed could compile a list of five Prince albums most people have never heard of.

And while we’re at it can we have a moratorium on vinyl stories? Or get statistics on how many discs are purchased as souvenirs and are never listened to? If people were interested in quality sound they would have bought Neil Young’s Pono player, and you know how that turned out. Then again, the press gave Neil a pass on that one, even though anybody with a brain knew it was a nonstarter. I don’t care how much you raise on Kickstarter, I look at the number of donors. And if it ain’t in six figures, you’re not a mainstream band…and that never happens. Whoopee! You got a ton of believers to lay down money because they remember what once was and are desirous of smelling your farts. Name one Kickstarter album that graduated to the big leagues? I rest my case.

And let’s admit streaming won and concentrate on that which is being streamed. They do call it the music BUSINESS and the truth is everyone wants to get paid and the way you do this is by creating something that streams in quantity. I can name scores of failed bands from the days of yore, if I was like the bitching barons I’d say they deserved to be well-known millionaires. But unlike the blind I know that life is unfair. And I also know that the internet did not uncover loads of unsigned talent that the majors were ignoring. The truth is there are very few quality acts and now, more than ever, we’re gravitating to those at the peak.

Sorry… But it’s the way of the world. If you’re not overwhelmed by choice, which is the problem Jimmy Iovine is trying to tackle by delivering so many playlists you’re still overwhelmed, you’re streaming the same damn stuff as everybody else. Most people are. Sure, you’re free to play your obscure favorites, just don’t tell me they deserve to be rich.

And don’t tell me Prince’s new album is relevant and worth paying attention to. Hell, it wouldn’t be worth paying attention to if it was on Spotify.

As for Taylor Swift, Ms. Greed, she doesn’t want us to respect creators, she just wants to get paid. And isn’t that the point I’m making above? Why do all these big shots say they’re doing it for the little people…who are on all the services and are being ignored? They’re doing it for themselves. And the truth is not being on Spotify is hurting Ms. Swift more than it’s helping her. But I don’t expect to see a story about that by the fawning press which has been given access. I also don’t expect to see a story on how many people have never heard “Blank Space.” Taylor Swift may be the biggest star we’ve got, but she’s not that big, there’s no ubiquity, she’s making pure pop for poor people. How about making something we all can sing, that isn’t reliant on beats and has more to say than a billboard?

That’s coming.

When people understand the power of music is in the grooves, not the system of distribution. That a hit song is a ubiquitous item we all find satisfaction in, that we want to sing along with, that we want to get closer to.

Why do I have to endure stories about how Prince worked with a producer? Why do I have to read about songs I’ll never hear?

Here’s the message Mr. Nelson… Get your head out of your damn ass and put your music in the marketplace where it will either succeed or fail based upon its merits. The truth is you’re too scared to do this, because you can’t write a hit. As for all your bitching about being screwed by the business, I want to know how many tickets you’d be selling if you never signed to a label.

I’m not saying there aren’t inequities, but come on, come down from your throne and get into the pit. Where we’re all willing to give you a chance. In a competition that’s ever more cutthroat.

We want to listen, but we might not want to listen to you.

But if we are listening to you, you’re gonna get rich and have more power than you know what to do with.

Welcome to the modern music business.