Is Celine Dion gonna give birth on stage? Does every attendee get a blow job by either George Clooney or Angelina Jolie, customer’s choice? Is John Lennon gonna come back from the dead to duet with her on "Whatever Gets You Thru The Night"? If not, why the fuck do I have to pay $500 […]

You’d think we were selling Mercedes-Benzes. Better yet, Lamborghinis. Lambo doesn’t have to worry about the little guy. The Italian carmaker caters to a rich elite. Chevy-owners can only lust after the company’s sleekmobiles. They’re never going to be able to afford one. And Lambo doesn’t care, because they’re selling all they can produce. But […]

I’m stunned the performances from the CMAs were not up on iTunes the same night. Why not? Oh, the acts don’t want the imperfections memorialized. They don’t understand, these are souvenirs. The fans don’t care about the problems. They want to own this stuff. When the impulse hits, IMMEDIATELY! There’s not one single file-trading site […]

This show ended HOURS ago, but I’m just firing it up now. Actually, I caught a bit of the last half hour, as I was icing my knees after hiking. Kellie Pickler! I knew that song! Shit, I watch the Grammys and I’m clueless, yet every number on the CMAs is familiar. I can’t fast […]