WHAT WE’VE LEARNED

1. An independent is a Republican who doesn’t want to be seen as such. Very few people in America are truly independent. They almost always vote one way or the other. But they don’t want to be perceived as being beholden to a camp. Don’t buy it. You’re either a Republican or a Democrat, pick your side. As for the third party acolytes… Yeah, and unicorns are going to fly out of my butt.

2. In an incomprehensible music scene, mainstream media looks for a story, to define the landscape, to make sense of it all. Even though it makes no sense at all. “Rich Men North of Richmond” is a one shot, equivalent to shooting someone, a lot of news, and then nothing.

3. Hits are irrelevant, it’s about careers. Call me next year, or the year after, when Oliver Anthony can sell out arenas.

4. The concept of the song is more important than the song itself. In other words, have you listened to this? Do you want to listen to it more than once? What we’ve got here is train-wreck value. Everybody has to check it out. And then they move on.

5. People do hunger for authenticity, something seen as honest and credible, in a world where they’re constantly fed cartoons. Come on, have you listened to the Spotify Top 50? What you’ve got is people looking to get rich, who’ve smoothed off the rough edges, or are high concept outlaws… Today’s hit music is akin to the WWE. About as real as wrestling.

6. Never underestimate the power of a guitar and a voice.

7. If this was about the music, Billy Bragg’s answer song would be getting traction, but it’s not. “Richmond” is a phenomenon driven by right wing press. Believing it is owning the libs when that is patently untrue. This is what happens when a ranking system is flawed. Sales far outweigh streams on the chart, even though streams are by far the dominant mode of consumption. So truth is not. Buying “Richmond” is akin to texting two dollars to Donald Trump, an emotional effort demonstrating your belief. And if money was everything, Ron DeSantis would be contending with Trump in the polls, and he’s not.

8. There will be no Democratic response because the Democrats don’t care. They’ve seen the movie, they know the right wing is insane, they’ll vote, but they don’t want to take the everyday bait. As far as a phenomenon like this on the left… The left is not a cult, not one homogeneous group that bands together to make a point. And that’s a good thing. Because the left far outweighs the right in numbers. The right only triumphs because the game is rigged because of the Constitution, which they love so much and see no need to amend. Biden beat Trump by 7 million votes. But that’s not how the president is picked, it’s via the electoral college. Meaning only a handful of states count. The “Richmond’ phenomenon is akin to those few states, the rest of us aren’t paying attention and don’t care.

9. They want you to be scared. That there’s a creeping force that’s going to come along and dominate. But it’s a paper tiger. Don’t buy the hype.

10. There are no taboos, you can criticize anybody and get away with it today. Their weight, their religion… Leaving a very small coterie that is immune. You think you’re part of the club until you find out you’re not. If you’re white, Christian and self-sufficient, with enough money to get by, you’re included. But if you’re poor… You may think they want you, but they don’t. You can vote Republican emotionally, but oftentimes it’s against your best interests. And are you skinny and not taking any government aid? Look a little deeper, red states outweigh the blue in their amount of government aid. But don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story.

11. Just because Oliver Anthony made it, don’t think you will. And don’t think there are going to be a lot of Oliver Anthonys in the pipeline. One and done. An anomaly. A freak show. Kind of like Radiohead’s name your own price with “In Rainbows.” Do you remember who else tried this? Probably not, and none were successful.

12. Country music may lean right, but country music has made inroads because it contains all that pop/hip-hop do not, simple melodies and choruses that you can grasp and sing along to. As for the lyrics, so much is so bland that it doesn’t matter anyway. Which is why everybody glommed on to this “Richmond” song to begin with. Trump set the paradigm and almost nobody seems to have noticed. People want someone with an edge, who doesn’t triangulate, who speaks from the heart, in all walks of life. These are our heroes, whether they’re on the right or the left. If you’re honest and credible, and you put it out there and have talent, you have a much better chance than you do if you’re imitating the hit du jour. Great players are a dime a dozen, just go on TikTok, where there are kids in the single digits who shred. And vocals? Come on, even those on TV contest shows can’t make a dent. It’s all about a je ne sais quoi, something special, that makes you different, that evidences who you really are, that triumphs. This is what is killing the movie business. Sure, some people want high concept superhero movies, but most of us don’t, and until the movie business starts making films for the rest of us… But it won’t, because the costs are too high and the odds are too low. It’s a business. Yet when something is art you have a chance to triumph. If you want gritty reality go to streaming TV.

13. It’s no longer about the hit, but the mass. This is why Netflix kills its competitors. All we hear about is balancing the books, that too much product is being made. But that’s exactly why we subscribe, because of the plethora of material. With a constant flow of the new. It’s like Amazon, it triumphs because it’s got everything, and is dependable. If you haven’t had problems with the MAX app, you’re not using it.

14. Complaints. Us vs. them. How inspiring is that? We’ve been hearing this from the right ad infinitum. I mean if “Rich Men North of Richmond” makes you feel good, then you think someone is stealing your retro lifestyle that wasn’t so good to begin with. The future only moves in one direction, forward. Progress is inevitable.

15. “Richmond” is specific about the losers and the losses, but the enemy, those men north of Richmond, who exactly are they? This song is laughable because we don’t know who the enemy is. Call out the enemy. And the enemy is more right than left anyway. And how about the right to work states, sans unions. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. But don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.

16. Low pay? Minimum wage is higher in the states north of Richmond. Miners? There aren’t that many left and you’d be stunned how much energy is now produced by alternative methods.

17. Control? That’s a pejorative on the right, FREEDOM! Last I checked it was the right that was controlling women’s bodies, what we could read…and when it comes to taxes, the end result of their lowering, by Republicans, is the rich have gotten richer and the poor have gotten poorer and…

18. In other words, the right wing cheerleaders who blew up this song are pulling the wool over the eyes of their somnambulant constituents, who are too dumb and too uninformed to know the facts, what the hell is going on.

19. This is not Lil Nas X. Who was built organically on social media and then blown up via manipulation, i.e. the kerfuffle that country radio wouldn’t play “Old Town Road,” which is infectious, unlike “Rich Men North of Richmond.”

20. “Don’t follow leaders, watch the parking meters.” If you want wisdom don’t look to some ignorant reactionary punk south of Richmond, but someone who knows of what they speak, who is intelligent and can express themselves, who knows you’ve got to think for yourself. If Oliver Anthony is a leader…count me out. Count almost everybody out. Because this dude is too ignorant to follow.

21. Here today, gone tomorrow. That’s what happened with Jason Aldean’s song and that’s what will happen with this song. Next!

P.S. It’s all a front anyway, a posture with no backbone, did you see Kid Rock drinking Bud Light?