Dear Bob,

I like Tom Newsom. I think it’s cool that he wants to go to Applebee’s. Everyone is harshing his mellow. Uncool. Very uncool. This aggression will not stand, man.  Dude doesn’t want to pay that much. Everyone has their own economics. We never know how they feel about fees till we stand in their shoes. Plus Applebee’s is a good place to meet people. One time I ate there and the busboy got me stoned in the back  alley with some really good weed he bought from the dishwasher.  Then he gave me a free hot fudge sundae. That was a savings of 11 dollars. Cheaper than seeing the dude from Yes. He also had a Bluetooth speaker so we listened to Rush and danced by the hostess stand. (It was a slow night)

So I hope I see Tom Newsom somewhere on the road when I’m touring. He will always have free tickets to my shows because I’m sick of all your readers picking on him.

In closing I’d like to say that Tom Newsom is my new guru and I like him better than Joe The Plumber.

Yours in Christ,

Steve Poltz

https://linktr.ee/stevepoltz