“Private Equity-A Memoir”

By Carrie Sun: https://shorturl.at/AWX38

At what point do you wake up and become your own person. At what point do you throw off your parents’ expectations and own your true identity?

Many baby boomers never have. The most passionate music fans I know are MD’s. They jumped through all the hoops, they aced Organic Chem, so they could ultimately fulfill their parents’ dream, becoming a doctor.

But that’s not what they really wanted to do.

Now maybe you didn’t have parents who instilled their hopes and dreams in you, didn’t get angry when you brought home a bad report card. Weren’t worried if you veered off course into drugs and alcohol. Years back, I might have envied you. Because my parents were relentless. There was no doubt I was going to college, and it had better be a good one! It was expected of me.

And I’ll save you the ups and downs, but I’m conflicted about my college experience. On one hand I feel superior, because of the focus on the ability to think, write and analyze. I didn’t take a single objective test in college, not one. You’d get those blue books and what you didn’t know you B.S.’ed about. Then again, the college experience so many of my friends had was completely different. They could take courses outside the narrow confines of the classical canon, they could study little and still get A’s. They could find people just like them in the student body.

The world is different now. There’s a bifurcation between the rich and entitled and the rest of us. I didn’t know I was underprivileged going to public school until I went to college where 45% of the students had prepped. Forget leaving home, they were so much better read than the rest of us. They understood the game.

Today everybody is looking for an edge. We didn’t see it as an edge. We didn’t do volunteer work so it would look good on our college applications. We just ground and ground to get good grades and…

Many people could never give up the grind.

That happened for me the first semester. With one extra point I could have gotten a B+. In high school, you went to the teacher and grubbed for it, usually successfully. I just couldn’t do that anymore.

But I did end up going to law school. Which was instilled in me as a destination before I even entered school, kindergarten, that is. But that was because I was down and out with the world’s worst case of mononucleosis and the only advantage of going to law school was I was an expert when Napster hit, that’s about it.

Took me a long time to become who I am. To accept who I am. I mean you see movers and shakers and are envious. Then you learn they’re different from you, and that is not a bad thing.

So what we’ve got here is an only child of immigrant parents who finished MIT in three years and goes into finance. Drops out after a few years at Fidelity, and then ends up at a hedge fund, supporting the majordomo.

Most people have no idea what a hedge fund truly is. They know almost nothing about finance. But at this late date seemingly everybody knows these people makes tons of money. And they do. But by time you’re done with this book if you still want to go into finance…well, you only care about money, like hedge funders in this book. They protest that they’re helping, solving problems, saving the world, but that’s all B.S. It’s money that they want.

Now don’t think you can make this kind of money being an artist, musical or otherwise. Never mind that the odds are nearly impossible.

Believe me, these hedge funders, these financiers, they jumped through all the educational hoops, they work ’round the clock, but at the core their lives are empty. Because money can’t keep you warm at night.

For all the hype about elite business people being a-holes, usually that is not the case. When you get to the top you can afford to be nice. Get a meeting with some household name and this will surprise you. The people you know, who you hang out with, can only say negative things about these executives. But they’ve never met them. There’s so much they don’t know. And so much most people don’t know. But if you read this book…

Now if you’re completely unfamiliar with money, with finance you may not know what Ms. Sun is talking about. She describes everything, but doesn’t repeat herself. There’s lingo, and concepts beneath the lingo, and if you read the ‘Wall Street Journal” and “New York Times” Business section every day you’ll know what she is talking about.

Then again, most people buy the conventional wisdom that the mainstream media is anathema. It’s their loss. Furthermore, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Success all comes down to information. And it’s great if you’re a player, but interestingly so much of the information is public, available to all. And if you spend your time investigating, learning, you can truly come up to speed. But most people would rather complain that they were left out. It’s your choice.

But really, to succeed, you need to know how the world works. And the world runs on money. And if you don’t know money, you’re already a step behind.

And the truth is there is SO MUCH MONEY!

People watch television, read about the celebrities, they think they know rich, but they’ve got no idea. Never mind so many of the rich want no publicity, it only brings downsides. Carrie’s boss is all about time. And if it saves time, money is no object. NetJets takes too long to deliver a plane. So the boss buys a Bombardier. But is unhappy that he’s got to shake hands with those who built it. He just wants to get on it and fly home.

And there’s recreation too. The boss is into surfing. He has Carrie track the waves, and if they’re good, he’ll drop everything and go, But if you think he can go on a surfing hejira for months, you’re wrong, You see the boss can’t miss a thing. He’s constantly making bets, based on information. Not only trading stocks, but investing in tech companies.

And Carrie is his slave. Highly compensated, with 5k gift cards to boot. She can go to Stockholm for the weekend, the only issue is the time, not the money.

But she’s on call 24/7. And she’s never ever treated as an equal.

She’s overworked and ultimately complains, but the boss never hears her, never.

Meanwhile he keeps talking about the opportunity, the privilege of working at the company, the front row seat to what is really going on in the world. And he emphasizes self-subjugation, that it’s all about the team, put on a happy face, but that’s all hogwash, he only cares about himself and making money.

You know how this turns out.

But unless you’ve worked at a hedge fund you have no idea what is really going on.

So reading this book I wondered why anybody would go into finance. Sounds empty and awful, A lot of money, sure, but I’ve never lived only for the money. But so many of those who graduate from elite colleges can’t withstand the pull.

Now if you didn’t go to an elite institution, or if you’re not a math genius, you’ve got no opportunity here.

But having said that, everybody I know who is successful is working ’round the clock. If you have time off, either you’ve already made it or never will.

And if you want to make it in the arts… You’ve got to be the opposite of everything catalogued in this book. You’ve got to be unique, an individual. You’ve got to think for yourself. You’ve got to learn how to say no. This is what bugs me when people complain about streaming payments. Your focus is all wrong. If you are truly an artist of note the money will come, but the truth is almost nobody is an artist of note. The funny thing is they don’t believe this, but they would not say they’re ready to perform surgery or run a hedge fund,..but something even more difficult, become a unique artist? That they can do. Yeah, right.

Now when I went to college my parents never told me what courses to take and didn’t care about what grades I got. They figured just the experience was enough. If I was surviving, fine.

But today people think college is a glorified trade school. That you go to college to get a job. And that’s one hundred eighty degrees from my background.

Really, it all comes down to being able to think. And you can teach this, but people don’t want to learn. Because if you can think it separates you from the rest of the public, the somnambulant sheep who are afraid to go against the grain.

But you win by going against the grain.

I don’t expect most people to read this book. But if you think finance is your future, you must.

And you should read it just to discover how many hurdles candidates have to go through to get these jobs, which are nearly impossible to get.

But the system… The only people who can really change it are artists. But the “artists” of today have capitulated. The legendary artists were separate from their fans, lived outside the law, both literally and figuratively. But now that life is so hard, many who can think, who have the ability to become artists, see the long odds and play it safe, and go into banking.

And then there are the CEOs who think they are artists. That’s the change in the record business from yesterday to today. Used to be you signed a contract and delivered the record and the label marketed and sold it. The kind of meddling Clive Davis did is anathema to artistry. That’s the great thing about music, it comes from personal inspiration, and when you mess with the inspiration, adjust the product for commerciality, it loses its essence.

If you want to learn more about how the world works, read “Private Equity: A Memoir.”

Or don’t.

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