Ari Emanuel’s Wedding

“Page Six”:



This is just plain ugly.

Did Ari not consider the optics on this?

You may be unaware, but everybody who follows gossip and WME’s clients are, and now you know too.

So what we’ve got here is an exponent of the Reagan years, when it became all about money and you were proud to be rich. As for the little people…SCREW ‘EM!

In case you haven’t been following the game, the talent agencies have all taken private equity money, not only to grow their assets in a changing entertainment world, but to deliver a handsome payout for the execs.

I mean how do you feel about this if you’re a rank and file WME employee? How do you feel if you’re a client?

WME has fought the writers. Yup, the agency waned to triple-dip, represent the talent, take a packaging fee and own the production too. There have been concessions there, but one thing is for sure, these big talent agencies are no longer talent friendly, BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHERE THEY MAKE ALL THEIR MONEY!

Yes, the UFC is WME’s cash cow, not movie stars.

And as a manager in Blackwell’s book told his bands…don’t smile in photos, no one has sympathy for a self-satisfied moneyed rock star. You’re supposed to be a man (or woman) of the people. When you lord your status above others…you’ve got today’s music business, uneducated nincompoops who are court jesters to the corporations who pay their bills. They think they’re ripping off the Fortune 500 when just the opposite is true, the Fortune 500 are using their names to make bank and depleting the credibility and lifespan of these acts, which are too stupid to understand this. As for their handlers? They don’t think long term, acts come and go, they want to get paid NOW!

Dig in a bit and you find out the wedding took place at the end of the Cannes Film Festival. But does Ari usually deign to attend these minor events? He’s got people for that. And even if he did go, you know that Larry David, Diddy, Elon Musk, Emily Ratajkowski and so many of the others did not. No, they all flew in. And if you think they flew in the back of the plane on a commercial airline…I guess you’ve never flown private.

Yes, if you own your own plane, or have access to one, you save so much time. I mean who wants to get to the airport hours in advance to go through security when you can just walk up and get on and take off?

But it gets even worse, the 61 year old Ari married a 32 year old. You’re not going to find a woman over thirty who approves of this, and if they’re older…they can’t get cast in productions unless they’ve had plastic surgery to look decades younger.

And we know this isn’t going to last. I mean what do you talk about to a woman who is thirty years younger. Oh Sarah, do you remember “The Brady Bunch,” never mind “All in the Family”? And MTV? MTV stopped playing videos by time Sarah Staudinger gained consciousness.

And Ms. Staudinger is a clothing designer. Remember when Henry Kravis married designer Carolyne Roehm? That didn’t last. Kravis is now married to economist Marie-Josée Drouin, someone who understands what he’s talking about, who he can bounce ideas off of, who is only six years younger. What is Ari going to ask Sarah about, the Kardashians?

But this is Ari’s trophy. He thinks the rest of the guys are envious. When the truth is the rest of his cabal are so narcissistic they don’t care who Ari is married to, they just care about themselves. So the joke is on Ari.

And what about Ari’s children? Kids have a hard time accepting new parents who are their contemporaries.

So what you do here if you’re smart, if you can see the landscape (which theoretically is what Ari is paid to do), is you get married by a judge, in his chambers, or in your house or backyard, and if you invite anybody, it’s a very small group of friends at most.

Or you don’t get married at all. I mean why? To have more children at 61? To give Sarah some security? Marriage is not the only way to do this, and I’m sure the prenup took months to negotiate.

I mean how detached can you be?

Sure, Ari may not have asked for this publicity, but at the end of Cannes in St. Tropez? The paparazzi live for events like this.

Used to be you got rich and you hid your wealth. Now you show off. Why? It doesn’t endear you to your customers. Hey Ari! Your agents better take a haircut, I’ll pay you less than 5% as opposed to the usual 10, you don’t need the money.

I mean Emanuel could have utilized the money and publicity for good. Like agitating for eliminating smoking from movies and TV shows, and assault rifles from the same productions. But no one cares about others today, they just care about themselves.

And you’ve got to realize times change. Trump’s moment is passing. I don’t care if you’re a MAGA believer, he can’t sell out a building, even if he’s giving the tickets away, and the candidates he endorses are no longer sure shots. Ari was cool when he was an unknown, when people found out the Jeremy Piven character in “Entourage” was based on him. But now Ari’s been in “The New Yorker”…his publicity people, and believe me, all of these big execs have one, if not a team, have gotten him in all these outlets, to impress…I’m not sure, maybe Wall Street, investors, but now the average person knows who Ari is and this wedding is just laughable on all counts.

Ari should just be glad people’s memories are short.

And he’s already got the $308 million he banked when WME went public.

Ari is what’s wrong with America.

Unfortunately, he’s not the only one.

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