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I want to tell you about this book. But I can’t recommend you read it.

It’s called “Wellness,” and it’s by Nathan Hill. Reviews have been excellent, Oprah has even endorsed it, but the main reason I got it from the library, the main reason I dug in, was because I positively loved Hill’s previous book “The Nix.”

“Wellness”? Not as much.

My queue is backed up, I’ve got so many books I want to read, and “Wellness” is a tome, 689 pages. And the style is kind of funny, in that not that much happens, a lot is backstory or interior monologue and it’s off-putting, you want to put the book down. But then you pick it back up again and it resonates and then it doesn’t… That’s right, you’re hot and cold.

Well, I should be saying I’m hot and cold on the book. And the worst thing about it is it does not call out to me, or hasn’t until this point, I’ve got a couple of hours left, I’m about 80% in, it’s hard to commit to. My main reading time is after eleven, after Felice goes to bed, when it’s dark out and incoming slows down. And I can usually only read if I turn my phone off. But sometimes I’m addicted to my phone and there goes the rest of the evening. Oh, I don’t usually go to bed until two, used to be four, and you can judge me all you want, but as they said about Yogi Bear…”He will sleep ’til noon, but before it’s dark, he’ll have every picnic basket that’s in Jellystone Park.” Anyway, I don’t care. I’m separate from you anyway. The other. I don’t fit in, can’t be a bro, and I’ve made peace with that. Not that there are not people on my wavelength… But usually they’re musicians, artists.

So, it’s taking me even longer to read this long book, because I have trouble dedicating the time to it. But then…

Hill starts depicting these suburbanites, upscale suburbanites, who are into their affirmations, their positive beliefs, you know, the kind when you’re ill will talk to you about natural medicine, tell you to see a naturopath rather than an MD. And you can’t convince them otherwise, because it’s now part of their being, and they don’t want you to rain on their parade, they just can’t hear anything negative. Actually, I get that a lot, people telling me to stop being negative. So let me get this straight, I’m supposed to give up my filter, just be the pretender, a smiling idiot who professes to love everything? No, I’m looking for excellence, and when I find it… That’s why I’m writing this entire screed now.

So you’ve got two people in college who find each other, ultimately at a rock club, and one is from nowhere Kansas and the other comes from a long line of…what turns out to be robber barons. And over time the money has been washed, people see the family as established, and forget the heinous activities they took part in, or instigated themselves. And Elizabeth wants no part of this. But Hill goes on for pages about Elizabeth’s family’s backstory, and it’s so well done, so on it, that I almost believed that it was real. It was history, it’s just the names and the faces were changed, this is how so many made their fortune.

But there’s also endless waxing on the prairie, how easterners don’t understand it. This goes on for pages, it’s all part of Jack’s backstory.

And there is a story. Not of Jack and Diane, but Jack and Elizabeth. In the nineties, in Chicago, when the indie scene was flourishing. But this is not a rock book, do not read it expecting so, that’s just an element. And then the book jumps to modern times…

There’s so much social commentary. There’s the issue of relationships. And so much more, seemingly every hot button issue in society, from Big Pharma to sex to…

And then, about two-thirds of the way through, there’s an explanation of the algorithm, actually seven algorithms, the ones that Facebook and Google employ.

It’s kind of an aside. Kind of like the political stuff in “Anna Karenina.” There’s an overlay of story, of Jack’s father, but what we’ve got here is… The best explanation of algorithms I’ve ever seen.

Oh, we all know everything’s run by algorithm online, but we don’t know the thought behind them, how they work on a granular level, how they’re tweaked, and this book explains it. In your mind you can literally see Mark Zuckerberg and his troops coding. All the games these companies play, to hook you and then drop you, to play with your emotions… If everybody read “Wellness” there’d be revolution. Truly. Forget Cambridge Analytica, that’s a sideshow compared to this. And it’s all made up, not exactly true, but therefore even more true.

That’s why you read fiction.

The bottom line is these companies are manipulating us in ways we can’t even conceive. It’s a giant game and we’re just the players, just rats in a cage that they’re trying to get us to stay in, so they can make more money.

I know, it sounds simple, and you know all this, but really you don’t. It’s much more nefarious than that.

And then Hill goes into how people get convinced of falsehoods and then they Google these falsehoods and since the falsehood is linked to more than the truth it’s the number one hit and the searcher feels they’ve got reinforcement. They go deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, they’re convinced. QAnon may be laughable to you, but when you read this section of “Wellness” you’ll understand exactly how it happened. You’ll almost have sympathy for these people, who’ve been sold a bill of goods. The mainstream media is the enemy, I’d bet more than half of Americans decry it, so it’s a free-for-all online and…

God, every issue in society is in this book, and it’s so well done and researched. Like placebos and NIMBYS and…

I just can’t recommend the entire book. And to be honest, the part about the algorithms is a little dry. But when Hill is on he’s a master, you’ll marvel. That he did all this research and is laying it out. Poking fun at our society while part of it.

What can a poor boy do?

These are the questions of our society. Who we are and how we interact. This is one reason music does not define the zeitgeist, because it’s somehow foreign to what really matters to us. We’ve got these devices in our hands, that are tailored just to us, everybody’s got a different feed, and although the companies do their best to make the experience addictive, it’s inherently addictive. And you know why, first and foremost? Because of the people. Meeting people, making friends, is harder the older you get. But on the internet everybody’s laying it on the line. You feel an intimacy, it’s visceral, something that music does not deliver. It’s not about numbers, it’s not about grosses, it’s about a feeling, an opening, a way to look into life, both yours and others’, that’s what the music lacks, because it’s not honest.

And when you say to put the phone down… Well, don’t go to the movies, don’t watch television, don’t read books… Online is another medium, but even more enticing. There’s so much to learn, so much to see…

It starts on page 492, under the heading “The Needy Users – A Drama in Seven Algorithms.”

Hell, I’ll list them:

1. The EdgeRank Algorithm

2. The Needy User Algorithm

3. The Pattern Recognition Algorithm

4. The Page Rank Algorithm

5. The Deep Learning Artificial Neural Network

6. The Screen Interaction Algorithm

7. The Chatbot

Hill, or his publisher Doubleday, should do a public service and put this section of the book online, for free. And everybody in America should be forced to read it, those in Congress and those in school and those at home who think they know what is going on and don’t. Very few know what is really going on.

But you’re gonna have to pay attention, if your mind drifts you’ve got to go back and concentrate. And…

I’m in on a secret. That’s what “Wellness” delivered. That’s why you read, not only for the fulfillment, but the advantage.

Enough.